I got a fucking lot of stares as I made my way to the castle. Probably because my scars on my left arm and my skeleton one were completely visible thanks to my tank top. I think someone actually fainted. Bitch. Walking through the crowded streets was pretty easy, given that everyone moved right the fuck away from me as I got close. Ha, pansies.

Before I knew it, we were outside the castle, and two guards crossed spears in front of me, blocking entry. Sighing, I held up the scroll and showed it to them, having read on it that I would need to present the invitation to be let in. After reading over the piece of paper one of the guards motioned for me to follow him. Walking through the castle was boring, just a bunch of stone walls, paintings glorifying some horse lady, and banners. Also sculptures and vases, but those were kinda stupid and pointless to have. Oh look, door.

"The Princess is right through here," the guard stated, "I suggest you be on your best behavior."

Waving my hand, I pushed the door open and said, "If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to blow me." He scowled and walked off silently, while Ardiente, Feral and me went into the room. At a table, sitting on a cushion, was the white horse lady from the paintings. I think the history lesson thing said her name was Princess Cunt or something. She was calmly drinking a cup of tea, her eyes idly drifting over to us. They then widened a bit as she saw both my right arm, and Feral.

"You're, what, Princess something-or-other-that-begins-with 'C'? What was it, Princess Cunt?" I asked. Ardiente looked at me horror, while Cunt nearly spat her tea out. "What?"

"I am Princess Celestia." Cunt said.

Looking up in mock thought, I replied with, "Eehhh, I like Cunt better. So, what did you want to talk about, Cunt?"

She gave a heavy sigh and motioned for me to sit across from her, "Please, sit." When I did, she poured me a cup of tea and passed it over, "I just wanted to get to know you a little. I heard there was another human walking around Canterlot, and having some free time, I figured I would greet you. Though I didn't expect you to be so... Rude."

"Eh, can't help it, brought up around destructive, violent, literally insane bastards who did nothing but act like assholes. Major ones." I drank the still scalding hot tea in one gulp, then took a bite out of the cup due to sheer boredom. It seemed Cunt wasn't suspecting that, nor my sharp teeth, as she regarded my mouth closely. Very closely. "If you want to make out, you just have to ask."

Cunt reeled back, not expecting that comment. "Excuse my... Invasiveness, but I did not think humans could have teeth like yours."

I shrugged, "They don't. Got these from an experiment. Painful one, no anesthesia or anything. Came like, ten fucking times in the first hour, kinda faded in and out of consciousness due to the pleasure afterwards." Aahhh was that a good one, best experiment ever. Don't think Cunt liked it though, given the disgusted look on her face.

"I- What?"

"Oh yeah. You see, I was a test subject at an underground medical facility. Treated me like absolute shit. Anyway, tons of experiments, brutal ones, no numbing stuff, violent treatment, torture, rape, you know, all that stuff?"

Cunt's disgusted look deepened, and she scrunched her eyebrows in concern, "What exactly... Happened to you Miss... What is your name?"

"Sarah. And what happened was...

"... So then I bit his dick off, which was followed by his colleagues beating me, then shooting me in the head and killing me."

Ardiente, Cunt, and another pony who came in some time ago named Luna, were looking pretty horrified. I think anyway. Luna seemed more surprised and concerned than the other two. Dunno why.

"That- that really happened? To you?" Cunt asked me.

"Yep." I took my clothes off and showed them my scars, which they noticeably cringed at. Mostly my vagina though, which is unsurprising given that they're mares. Putting my clothes back on, I pulled a cigarette from my pack and lit it. "So yeah, that's my life. Rape, torture, experiments, monsters made in labs, and psychotic bastards who didn't give a damn about their humanity. Fun fun fun." I finished sarcastically.

"And those chemicals, they...?"

"Yep."

"But, were you-"

"Nope. Really, Cunt, it's like we didn't just go over this." I smiled at Cunt's small frown, and at Luna and Ardiente's failed attempts at trying to hold in their snickers. They were shocked or mad at first, but then they just started laughing at me calling her Cunt. I don't even know why I call her Cunt, I just like to.

"So then," Luna asked, "what have you been doing so far?"

"Well," I smiled, and Ardiente shivered as I assume memories came back, "I saved Ardiente from wolves, took the alpha, Feral there, as my pet, then went to Manehattan. Proceeded to slaughter a bunch of asshole ponies with Dean... Oh yeah, Dean is-"

"I know who Dean is," Cunt interrupted, "and what do you mean "slaughtering"?"

"Oh, you know, killing. Bunch of "mafia" assholes that killed Ardiente's family. We took them, and this thing called a Sentiment, down. Good times. Got to eat too."

Luna looked at me quizzically, "What do you mean you got to eat?"

"Well I-"

Ardiente waved her hooves, "No, please, don't-"

"-tore a stallion apart and ate every last bit of him. Except for his dick. Don't go near those anymore."

I think Cunt wanted to see if staring at me can kill me. Didn't work, obviously, but it was pretty amusing.

"You ate," she angrily began, "one of my ponies?"

"Yup. Watcha gonna do about it, Cunt?" I don't think she could do anything about it. She just sat there, glaring at me and huffing. "S'what I thought." Ardiente, having seen it before, didn't react as badly. Luna didn't seem as angry, just very disgusted at the prospect. "Sorry, but I don't really care how nasty it may seem to you, I have to do it."

"That's just... You... Just leave." Cunt isn't happy, apparently.

I shrugged, "Fine, I was invited, so it isn't like I wanted to come here. See ya Cunt, bye Luna. C'mon Feral, Ardiente, let's go." And so we left.

On my way out the gates, I turned around, cupped my hands over my mouth and shouted:

"CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT!"

Ardiente stared at me, an annoyed look on her face, "Just... Why?"

"Cus she's a cunt."

Next Chapter: Escape from Hell- Act II, Pt. I: Waters churning Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 45 Minutes