“Come on, do something already,” Rainbow Dash mumbled to herself, smacking her forehead against the cloud she was resting on as she watched Insano walk through the streets of Ponyville. He wasn’t talking to anypony or really even doing anything besides trotting along, paying no heed to the stares that were coming his way. “I knew I shouldn’t have taken Applejack’s shift too.”

She groaned and rolled onto her back, staring at the endless blue sky. The midday sun stared back, determined to get into a staring contest with her and burn her eyes out. “Three days and absolutely bucking nothing. What is he waiting for?” She groaned and covered her face with her hooves. “I just wish Celestia would show up and send his pasty plot to jail already.”

The pegasus rolled back over and fixed her eyes back on the mad scientist. He was on the outskirts of town and walking in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. “What the hay could he want there…?” she wondered aloud. She flapped her wings a few times and scooted her cloud along to follow him.

He cleared the fence when he suddenly turned from the dirt path to Applejack’s house into the oldest orchard. Bigger trees, more leaves, no way to see what was inside.

“Great,” she mumbled as she narrowed her eyes, “can’t see him anywhere.” She sighed and dived from her cloud and into the trees, hopping and gliding from branch to branch as she shadowed Insano.

It took several minutes, but Insano’s apparent destination came into view soon enough: the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse.

“What the buck are you planning?” she mumbled, glaring daggers into the scientist’s retreating plot. She circled around the clearing in the treetops to the back of the clubhouse as he trotted up the ramp to the front door. She sped around to the back and perked her ears up, listening in.

“Do y’all hear hoofsteps?” came the country drawl of Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, I think somepony’s coming up,” Scootaloo answered. “Think it’s your sister?”

“Nah, my sis would just call up to us,” Apple Bloom responded.

“Who’s there?” Sweetie Belle called out.

“The name’s Doctor Insano,” the scientist announced with the gusto of an inflated ego.

“My sister warned me about you. Go away!” Apple Bloom said firmly.

“Hey, so did mine,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Nopony told me about this guy. Who is he?” Scootaloo asked.

“Some crazy doctor who was responsible for the explosion the other night,” the farm filly explained. “My big sis told me to stay far, far away from him.”

“Your big sister also told you to stay away from that zebra at the edge of town, didn’t she?” he said. “She isn’t always right about ponies.”

“How the hay does he know about that?” Rainbow Dash muttered.

“How the hay do you know about that? That was last year,” Apple Bloom asked.

“Oh, I have my sources,” he dismissed. “But I’m right, and you know it. Besides, I’m here to help you earn your cutie marks.”

“You can take your help and shove it up your–”

There was a sound of hoof blocking mouth. “Wait, let’s hear what he has to say,” Scootaloo whispered.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, Applejack and Rarity warned us that this colt was bad news,” Sweetie Belle whispered back.

“Sweetie, if we did everything your sisters told us, we wouldn’t get anything done,” the pegasus said flatly.

There were several seconds of silence. “Okay, you have a point,” Sweetie Belle admitted.

“Besides, he’s just a pony. Not a cockatrice or a manticore or a basilisk or anything. What could he possibly do that we couldn’t handle?” Scootaloo asked.

Many, many examples ran through Rainbow Dash’s mind that she knew that the Crusaders wouldn’t think of because of their childhood innocence. She nervously gulped.

“Ah suppose you’re right,” Apple Bloom said, with the sound of a small smack of her batting away Scootaloo’s hoof. “Let’s hear this guy out.”

“How do you think you can help us?” Scootaloo called out.

“With science, of course!” he said with an almost child-like excitement. “I am a scientist, after all, and I’m hoping to study and unlock the secrets of the cutie mark.”

“Study? Blech, sounds boring,” Scootaloo gagged.

“Not books,” Insano spat. “I’m hoping to study living subjects. Namely, you three.”

Rainbow Dash could feel her heart thumping in her chest.

“Us? Why us?” Sweetie Bell asked.

“Because you don’t have your marks yet, of course. My theory is that there is some sort of chemical trigger in the brain that makes the cutie mark reveal itself upon discovery of the talent. I just need to study your brains in comparison to mine, a pony who already has a cutie mark,” he explained.

“Um, sorry, but Ah think cutting our noggins open would be bad for our… everything,” Apple Bloom said with a nervous chuckle.

“Please, studying the brain through killing the subject is barbaric and inelegant,” he brushed off. “I have the equipment to do it one hundred percent safely. Just follow me, and we can get started.”

“Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it…!” Rainbow Dash pleaded under her breath.

“Should we really trust him?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Now that I think about it, his name is Insano. Isn’t that like trusting somepony named Darkheart Eatsbabies?”

“Sweetie Belle, that was his parents’ fault, not his,” Apple Bloom chided. “Don’t judge a pony on something as silly as his name.”

“Right, sorry. Just a thought,” Sweetie apologized.

“No, no, good thought, good thought!” Rainbow chanted.

“I say we go for it. Twilight’s magic couldn’t do it, so maybe this guy’s science can,” Scootaloo said.

“Ah guess you’re right. Let’s go for it!” Apple Bloom cheered.

Rainbow Dash facehoofed as she heard the door to the clubhouse creak open. “Okay, Mister Insano, show us the way,” Scootaloo said.

“Come along then, I don’t have all day,” he said with a huff. There were several sets of loud hoofsteps as the mad scientist and the three fillies cantered back down the ramp.

“Okay, okay, don’t panic,” Rainbow Dash muttered to herself. “Panicking is for wusses, and Rainbow Dash is no wuss. Just… keep following him and if he tries anything, deck him until he stays down.” She peaked around the corner and saw the group heading into the trees, the three fillies chattering excitedly and asking questions that she couldn’t make out. She flared up her wings and flew back into the treetops, shadowing them like a cyan ninja.

Rainbow Dash eventually found herself hovering above Twilight’s house, hiding in the clouds as the Crusaders and their guide trotted inside. She swooped down and peered into one of the library’s many windows.

Inside was Spike on a ladder, shelving the day’s returned books. Twilight was nowhere to be seen. “Right, she’s on that date with Applejack. Bucking great timing,” she cursed under her breath.

Insano was frowning, the three fillies crowding around him and still chattering in an inquisitive manner. He stomped over to a corner of the room, a book being pulled out by an invisible force. He opened it and flipped through the pages until he found a simple key. It too floated into the air as the book returned to its place. Spike noticed and protested, saying something about how Insano was not supposed to go in the basement. Insano turned to look at the baby dragon. He was facing away from Rainbow’s viewpoint, so she couldn’t tell what he was doing, but the dragon’s expression suddenly went blank and he nodded submissively, motioning with his arm for Insano to go right ahead. This prompted another barrage of questions from the Crusaders, but he seemed to ignore them as he slipped the key into the door’s lock and cantered inside, the trio following.

Rainbow Dash looked around, weighing her options in her mind. She ended up landing on Twilight’s balcony and slipping inside her bedroom through that door. The room was totally devoid of life, as expected. The pegasus saw that Twilight’s bed was covered in guides to dating and courtship, earning a roll of her eyes and a smile. “Egghead.”

She gently pushed the door to the main room of the library with her nose. Spike had gone back to his work, walking back from the pile of returns and to the bookshelf where they belonged. A frown creased her lips as she waited, shifting her weight impatiently for there to be an opening for her to sneak in. She heard voices in the basement, both of the fillies and the mad scientist. The former didn’t sound panicked or distressed. Yet.

She finally got her chance when Spike walked into the bathroom and closed the door. She glided down the staircase and landed as softly as she could manage on the floor. From there she just sneaked in the door to the basement and closed it behind her, crouching down low.

She peered over the edge of the catwalk to the floor of the basement below. Rows upon rows of bookshelves filled the wall, broken up by the wall nearest to her being filled by machinery that she had no bucking idea was for. In the center of the room was a table filled with potions and elixirs of various colors, along with some sort of contraption of winding tubes and glass containers she could only assume was used for mixing them.

Insano had Sweetie Belle’s forelegs strapped to one of the lab’s many machines, with some sort of helmet covered in lights on her head. “Um, are you sure this is safe?” the unicorn filly asked.

“Of course I’m sure,” he said as he fiddled with the equipment. “I’m just going to scan your brain for a few moments, is all. That and take a sample of your DNA.”

“DNA? What’s that?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Ugh, I keep forgetting how young you are,” he groused. “It’s stuff found in your body that determines almost everything about you. How you look, how healthy you are, what your behavior tends to be, etcetera. All I need are a few strands of fur off your flanks to get the DNA I need.”

“Our flanks?!” Scootaloo exclaimed, hopping backwards with a blush. “Why do you need fur from there?”

“Duh, because that’s where your cutie marks will appear,” he explained as he levitated a pair of tweezers. “Cutie marks exist on the fur only, and thus the fur on the flank must somehow have some special genetic code that causes it to change color to form your cutie mark. I’ll also be taking some strands from elsewhere on your body for comparison, of course.”

“And how is this supposed to help us get our cutie marks?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Because if I can figure out what triggers a cutie mark appearing, I can force it to appear with medication.” He pushed a button, and the lights on Sweetie Belle’s helmet started blinking. Readings and pictures appeared on various screens of her skull and her brain. “Just take a few pills to coax your brain into triggering the reaction needed, and your cutie marks will appear within weeks.” He giggled manically and rubbed his front hooves together. “Of course, me getting filthy rich off this medicine is just a happy side effect.”

“Why would you want Diamond Tiara’s dad?” Sweetie Belle asked. She let out a small squeak as Insano’s floating tweezers extracted his DNA samples.

Scootaloo facehoofed. “I don’t think he meant it like that, Sweetie.”

Insano ignored the joke he didn’t understand and pressed a few buttons. Sweetie’s helmet powered down and the shackles holding her in place clicked open. “Okay, who’s next?”

“Me!” Apple Bloom trotted over happily and put her forelegs in place. “Ah can’t wait to get my cutie mark!”

“I’m sure you can’t,” he said with disinterest as he put the helmet on her head and started the machine up again.

Rainbow Dash frowned from her perch. “I guess he isn’t doing anything too bad,” she admitted. “I mean, he isn’t hurting them at all. And I guess it would be nice for blank flanks to just take a few pills and then get their cutie marks.”

Insano’s head snapped up to look right at her. Before she could react, the swirls on his goggles began spinning, and she found herself frozen in place. All there was in the universe was those swirls, and all she could hear was his voice echoing in her very skull.

“Excuse me a moment, fillies, I need to take care of something upstairs,” he said. “Don’t touch anything or Twilight will make sure your sisters ground you into oblivion.”

She heard the Crusaders’ response, but they sounded like they were far away, words turned to incomprehensible whispers by distance.

The mad scientist trotted up the stairs onto her level, not once breaking eye contact, not once releasing her from the spirals that kept her spellbound. “Back out the door, now,” he hissed. She found herself standing upright and doing as he instructed, turning around and trotting back out into the main room of Twilight’s home. “Turn to face me.” Again, she could only obey, and turned on her heel to look back into his goggles.

“I heard you following me, you know. Augmented senses tend to make it damn easy to hear spies. Really, it’s starting to get to be a pain in the ass to hypnotize each of you to hide my activities, and if I keep wiping the memories of you clods you’ll start getting suspicious,” he griped. “And I can’t exactly have Twilight knowing I’m using her lab or that I’m studying pony DNA, can I? That would raise questions that I don’t need right now.” On the edge of her senses, she could see the scientist smile wickedly. “You’ve been a thorn in my side ever since I got here, though. I think I’m going to have a bit of fun with you. And I have just the perfect… ‘request’ in mind…”

“…and then Silent Night reveals to Waxing Crescent that she’s really a changeling, and sweet Celestia, it’s so romantic! Wax doesn’t care at all and says she’ll stay with Silent no matter what she is, and the entire scene is punctuated with this brilliant metaphor about both of their masks cracking apart and drifting away as they, well… I won’t give the explicit details, but it really is sweet and extremely well written. If only I could write as half as good as the author, I might feel confident enough to put my own ideas to paper, but as it stands…”

Applejack just smiled and nodded as Twilight continued her rant. She probably should have known better than to ask Twilight about her favorite books, but she ended up not minding. She was only half listening; the sound of Twilight’s voice and the fact the unicorn looked so happy put her at ease on its own.

The two were sitting together at an outdoor café near the center of town. Celestia’s sun was shining through the clouds, ponies were busy going about their business in the streets nearby, and the pair’s plates had been long empty.

“Hey, Applejack, do you hear that zooming sound?”

“Wha–” The cowpony’s reverie was less broken and more pounded to dust by a rainbow blur slamming into her from the side with a loud crash, sending both her chair and her hat flying. She groaned and blinked to see Rainbow Dash atop her, the pegasus’ rose-colored eyes glazed over as she looked down at her friend. “Rainbow, what in tarnation are you- mrrmph!”

Applejack was cut off on both enjoyable and baffling terms. The pegasus had closed her eyes and locked lips with the orange mare, the cowpony freezing up in shock. Time froze along with her as if by magic. It quickly sped up again when Applejack started feeling tongue, her eyes widening in shock.

“Rainbow Dash, what are you doing?!” Twilight’s magic aura surrounded the pegasus and lifted her off the stunned cowpony.

Rainbow Dash blinked and shook her head, rubbing her eyes as her gaze came back into focus. “Wh… what? Where am I? What happened? Why does everything taste like apples? Why is everypony staring at me? Why are you on the ground, AJ? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Applejack blinked, her face burning with the intensity of a furnace. “Ah had no idea tongues could bend that way,” she muttered, her brain still struggling to process what had just happened.

“What happened is that you just tackled my date and made out with her!” Twilight hissed. “What the hay has gotten into you?!”

“I what?!” Rainbow Dash’s face turned from sky blue to blood red as she looked to Applejack, to Twilight, then back again. “I…I don’t remember doing that. Oh buck, I am so, so sorry! I don’t know what came over me. I don’t even know how I got here!”

“You don’t remember?” Twilight asked, looking over her friend with more concern than anger.

“Well, yeah, I…” The pegasus paused. “The last thing I remember is watching Insano earlier, like you told me to. I was just relaxing in my cloud, watching him go around town doing buck-all, then… I’m here.”

“Insano did this to you?” Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, he is so arrested!”

“I don’t know how he could have,” Rainbow said. “He was down here on the ground; I was way, way up in the air. I have no idea what happened.”

“Insano had to have done this; I don’t know how yet, but it must have been him.” Twilight sighed. “We’re going to have to keep an eye on him in pairs from now on. We can’t take any chances around him until the princess arrives.”

“When is Celestia getting here, anyway?” the pegasus asked.

“She said she’ll be delayed by a few days thanks to a dragoness deciding to lay her eggs at Neighagra Falls. Negotiations for her to move to someplace that doesn’t draw tourists are apparently going slow,” Twilight explained with a sigh. “We just have to hold out a little bit longer, I promise.”

“Well, I’m turning in for the day. And again… really sorry,” Rainbow said with a sigh before taking flight.

Twilight trotted up to the cowpony’s side and helped her back to all fours. “Are you okay, Applejack?”

“More than, sugarcube,” she responded with an almost drunken smile on her face.

Twilight blushed as she lead her date away from the scene. “Was she really that good a kisser?”

“You have no idea.” Next Chapter: Save the Scientist, Save the World Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 10 Minutes