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Boss of Me

by ToixStory

Chapter 15: The Infinite Sadness

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The Infinite Sadness

Sweetie Belle rubbed the fuzz on the back of her head where her mane used to be. The clippers Octavia had insisted on took everything off below the bottoms of her ears. It felt like a part of her was missing. Whenever the winter air touched it, she was reminded of what she had lost.

She raised her head. The night made it hard for her to see, but she could make out three dark shapes racing across the Hoofington rooftops toward her. Suburban houses had nice, tiled rooftops that were easy to run across, and soon the trio had reached her. Sweetie Belle had chosen a flat-topped grocery store to wait for them.

Pipsqueak reached her first, sliding to a stop beside her. He wore a blue bandana around his head and a cherry red guitar strapped to his back. Diamond Tiara bounded up behind him while Rumble flew the rest of the way.

“Still there?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“For now,” Pipsqueak said. “It’s just like Vinyl said: two mares and a stallion. We almost got seen, but they shouldn’t know we’re coming otherwise.”

She gave him a crisp nod. “Alright, let’s do this. Just like we trained. You and Diamond Tiara give me backup, and I’ll take the two stallions. Rumble, you’ve got the mare.”

“Are you reminding us or yourself?” Diamond Tiara asked. “Just because only you and Rumble can do the weapon thing—”

She stopped when Pipsqueak laid a hoof on her shoulder. He gave her a pregnant look, but she only grunted in return and took two drumsticks out of her saddlebag.

Sweetie Belle took his hoof and pressed it against her own. Diamond Tiara grappled onto Pipsqueak and completed the chain. The air crackled and grew hot from the magic flowing between the four of them. It stunk of ozone.

Sweetie Belle closed her eyes and concentrated. She could feel her heart beating in concert with her friends, and the black magic concentrated inside her. Each of her friends became a part of herself in turn. When it was done, they opened their eyes at once.

Words would have only slowed them down. Sweetie Belle backed up, then sprinted forward until she reached the edge of the roof and jumped.

For a moment, her hooves scrambled on empty air, but then she found purchase on the next house over and skidded into a landing. Two thumps behind her and the sound of fluttering wings told Sweetie Belle her friends had made it.

After the first jump, the next was easier, and the one after that even more. Sweetie Belle flew over the sloped roofs. Her hooves only paused for a moment on each before she moved on to the next. Empty asphalt streets buzzed past below her.

Reaching out to her connection with Pipsqueak, she could see in her mind’s eye where their targets waited. Left. Right. Over the chimney, roll, keep going.

Don’t stop.

The ponies were gathered up ahead, placed around a narrow alleyway. Pipsqueak—and by extension, Sweetie Belle—didn’t know why they were there, but that didn’t matter. Luna wanted Hoofington cleared, and if it got rid of some more of the black magic, well, Sweetie Belle didn’t mind.

When they neared the alley, Sweetie Belle nodded to Pipsqueak. He swung his guitar around on the next jump, and began to play as the three of them came down toward the alleyway.*

Sweetie Belle had her keytar out, and the stallions only had their ears pricked up. They turned to her as one. Their eyes glowed black, and massive magical thorns tunneled up from the ground toward Sweetie Belle. She swung her keytar and smacked a razor-sharp point away from her belly.

She landed on the smooth body of the thorn, then leapt away just as another filled the space she had just occupied. A smile made its way onto her face. She landed against one wall, dropped to the ground, rolled, and came up singing.

Day by day,

We have lost our edge.

Don't you know?

Forgotten is the life we led.

Now it seems,

You don't care what the risk is.

The peaceful times have made us blind.

One of the stallions was only a few feet in front of her, but every inch between them was filled with sharp vines. His partner was climbing up one of the thorns, his horn glowing.

Sweetie Belle gathered magic on the bottoms of her hooves. She ran up the side of the nearest wall, seconds ahead of the vines that lashed out to meet her. The keytar was enough to slap them away, and it had already started to transform.

Can't look back,

They will not come back.

Can't be afraid,

It's time after time.

Once again,

I'm hiding in my room.

The peaceful times have made us blind.

The scythe grew out of her keytar; it radiated pink magic, matching her own. She leapt through a gap in the thorns toward the second stallion. Sweetie Belle grimaced as he smiled at her, and only had time to call her magic shield to life before she was assaulted from all sides.

Acid sprayed from the surface of the vines. It splashed against her shield and steamed on contact. The corrupt magic began to eat its way through to Sweetie Belle, so she let the magic drop and flew on, straight through the gap and at the stallion.

So you can't fly if you never try.

You told me,

Oh, long ago.

But you left the wall,

Outside the gate.

So more than ever, It's real.

The stallion still had a dumb grin on his face when the scythe cut him in half. Sweetie Belle turned her head away while he exploded into a cloud of black magic. She focused on his comrade on the ground. He stared up at her and screamed, sending more vines racing up at her.

Sweetie Belle’s scythe split them apart, one after another. She grunted in frustration when, after every thorn she sliced, another seemed to take its place. The narrow alley was quickly filling up. All she could do was keep slicing, even as thin cuts appeared all over her hooves and back.

It was like a nightmare,

It's painful for me!

Because nobody wants to die too fast!

Remember the day of grief,

Now it's strange for me,

I could see your face!

I could hear your voice!

More vines, more thorns, more acid. One eye was swollen shut after some of the gunk had landed in it, and the other one closed to keep it from happening again. She screamed the lyrics, slashing back and forth like a white reaper, too afraid to stop or look if she was making any progress.

Remember the day we met,

It's painful for me!

Because nobody wants to die too fast!

Remember a day we dreamt,

It's painful for me,

I could see your face!

I could hear your voice!

The vines closed in on her. Couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe . . . Then, just as quickly, the pressure was gone. Her scythe hit empty air, and she fell to the ground.

Sweetie Belle reached out with her magic and landed on a small shield. She slid down to the ground, and opened her good eye. Rumble stood where the dark stallion had, a broadsword covered in guitar strings in his teeth. On the ground in front of him was a black crystal.

Diamond Tiara and Pipsqueak landed next to him, and they all looked at Sweetie Belle. She turned away and walked to the first crystal to dump her black magic. Even facing away, she could feel their eyes on her.

“I’ll be fine!” she told them.

“Are you reminding us or yourself?” Diamond Tiara asked.


Sweetie Belle sat at the back of the armored bus. The guards that stood in the center aisle had been reluctant to let her, but she’d shoved her way past them. It was worth it for the view the back window afforded. Only one window of five were open instead of covered in steel armor, and the back ones were the largest.

Outside, the CMMA rose from beneath Canterlot like an angry stone beehive. Guards flittered about, swarming all over the towers and ramparts of the school. Half a dozen flew up to meet their bus, and it was another few minutes of looking it over before they were allowed to land.

When they had sat on the landing pad for a full minute, the doors opened and the guards disembarked, and at last the students could as well. Sweetie let her friends go first, and took up the rear. She swung her keytar onto her back and staggered on her hooves, fighting the urge to rub at her swollen eye.

She could feel the gaze of every guard in the school on her when she stepped out. They were waiting for her to snap, she knew. Once she did, they could pounce on her and be rid of one more risk forever. It almost flattered her that they hadn’t attacked yet.

Octavia was waiting for them just outside the front entrance. She gazed at them with heavy-lidded eyes, almost like their appearance bored her. “I trust your mission was a success?” she asked.

Pipsqueak nodded. “We got ‘em, sure enough. Sweetie Belle, uh, took a few hits.”

Sweetie Belle stopped to let the teacher look her over. She wanted to just keep walking, but she’d have to stop inside the door anyway. Octavia tsked while her hooves patted Sweetie Belle’s scars and even pressed against the swollen, angry flesh covering her eye.

“You’re taking too many risks, Sweetie Belle,” she said. “That’s the third time this month you’ve come back with more scars than you already had. If you keep this up, we’ll have to put you on probation.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice,” Sweetie Belle muttered. If Octavia heard, the snark was lost on her, who only waved them past.

Inside the doors, they were stopped within a newly-erected room. White concrete walls inlaid with glowing runes greeted them. There was a door at the opposite end, and a slot on wall beneath a sign that read “INSTRUMENT CHECK IN” in big, blocky letters.

Once Sweetie Belle slid her keytar into the slot, she stood in the middle of the room with the others. The runes began to glow, and she closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. She hated this part. It started as just a tickle against her coat, but soon the magic radiation was a torrent of sharp spikes beating against her like a wave crashing on a cliff.

She bit her lip as hard as she dared, determined not to scream. Diamond Tiara cried out beside her, but that was all the sound anypony made. Sweetie Belle focused on trying to recite the newest lyrics she had been writing in her head to take her mind off the pain.

The world is a vampire, sent to drain . . . secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames . . .

The pain ebbed, then stopped altogether. When Sweetie Belle opened her eyes, the swelling had ceased around the left eye, and her cuts had turned into thin scars. She ran a hoof over her chest and winced. It was more scar tissue than skin now.

The door at the other end of the room swung open, and Sweetie Belle led the way out. Nopony was there to greet them, but the four already knew the drill. Without hesitating, they turned right and walked toward Luna’s office.

Despite it being in the middle of a school day, the halls were almost completely empty. Even most of the classrooms were locked with the lights off. The few students who walked the halls did so with their heads bent low and instruments on their backs.

The gentle slope of the hallway made it seem like they were walking straight forward when, in fact, their path took them down into the mountain. Princess Luna’s office had been relocated, along with all the essential teaching staff. Posters advertising martial arts and weapons training covered the walls.

Sweetie Belle looked at her friends. Pipsqueak was practically dragging his guitar, and his eyes were ringed by heavy, dark circles. Diamond Tiara clung to him, and looked no better. Her mane was thin and frayed, and her coat had patches of new hair and skin where it had been burnt off and regrown. Rumble who caught her eye, and he smiled. His eyes were red, though, and his wings jutted out at odd angles.

She felt a slug of pain in her chest just looking at her friends. Or were they even that? Three long months had changed a lot, and she wasn’t sure what was going on anymore. Her limbs still twitched and flowed with dark magic, no matter how much she dumped out. All that was consistent were all the faces of the ponies she sliced in half and the scars they gave her.

At last, they reached Luna’s office. The four piled inside, into a small waiting room with bars on the windows and seats bolted to the ground. Iron Will sat at the front desk, typing away. At the very least, he looked normal; as normal as the school got, anyway. When he saw them, he pressed a button and spoke: “I’ve got four students here waiting, so it’s time to stop deliberating!”

Sweetie Belle wondered how he got to talk to the Princess as he did, but Luna appeared soon enough. She swept her gaze over the four of them. Her royal features looked the same as ever, but her eyes seemed like they were a thousand years older.

She beckoned them forward, but when Sweetie Belle got up, Iron Will reached out a hand to stop her. “Whoa, you’re gonna have to learn, if you want to see the princess you better wait your turn.”

Luna nodded, and Sweetie Belle lowered herself back to her chair. She watched Rumble, Pipsqueak, and Diamond Tiara all look at her in turn before disappearing inside the room. Luna closed the heavy wooden door. Sweetie Belle could still hear them talking, but their voices were muffled.

Diamond Tiara was yelling, that was for sure. Sweetie Belle couldn’t tell if that was good or bad. The filly had been on edge lately and yelled about everything to everypony but Pipsqueak. Never to Pipsqueak. She heard his voice joined Tiara’s, and even Rumble added to the conversation. Sweetie Belle winced.

They were talking about her, of course. Who else would their conversation be about? Sweetie Belle picked at the new scars on her hooves. They were thin and not very deep, but they were everywhere. Rarity had wanted Twilight to scrub the scars away, and Sweetie Belle was almost tempted to accept this time. She shook her head. No, she needed to remember them.

There was a pause, then the door swung open. Her friends filed out, and Luna nodded to Sweetie Belle. Her turn. She got out of her chair and trotted in the room, afraid to look any of her friends in the eye.

The office walls were smooth and featureless, and her desk had nothing on it that wasn’t held down. Nothing to grab with magic, Sweetie Belle supposed. In her chair, Luna towered like a giant over her.

“You’ve been a busy filly,” Luna said. “The Canterlot Music Meister Academy and all of Equestria cannot thank you enough for that.”

Sweetie Belle shrugged. “Only a mission or two per week. Octavia’s been on more, and she still teaches. Thank her, not me.”

“She is also an adult, and does not possess your . . . abilities.”

“The black magic.”

“Yes.” Luna sighed. “We’ve done our best to work around your disability, Sweetie Belle. When you used that zebra to drain some of the black magic from you, we thought that we could syphon all of it out, but . . .”

Say it, Sweetie Belle thought. Just say it.

“. . . it’s not working. Your friends have reported every time, no matter how many crystals you drain into, there is always more. Worse, they say it is making you lose your edge.” She looked over Sweetie Belle’s scars. “It hasn’t served you well.”

“I know,” Sweetie Belle mumbled. “What can I do? If I don’t keep fighting and draining the black magic, I’ll go crazy.”

She looked up at the Princess, and her heart beat faster. Luna had the power to wipe her out, right then and there, if she wanted to. If there was any threat Sweetie Belle presented, she knew she wouldn’t last long. Her knees started to shake.

“B-But I can, uh, keep it up. I really can, Princess,” she said. “As long as I keep fighting, I can keep the levels as low as possible. I won’t become one of them.”

“And how sure are you of that? I seem to recall Rumble’s brother saying the same thing to me about learning black magic.”

“That’s why I have my friends around,” Sweetie Belle said. “They can keep me from turning. As long as we’re linked, I can’t go all crazy. I promise, Princess.” She knew she sounded desperate, but, well, she was. A large part of her wished she had at least Rumble to back her up.

Luna’s face fell, and so did Sweetie Belle’s heart. “Sweetie Belle, that is why I called you in here today. Your friends . . . they are afraid. This morning, you nearly sliced Diamond Tiara in half. They’re afraid they can’t control you.”

So that was it. Sweat gathered on Sweetie Belle’s hooves, and what remained of her mane felt matted to her head. Luna was going to finish her off; her friends had failed. No, actually, she had failed.

“Which is why I’ve decided that you need more . . . advanced . . . field instruction,” Luna continued.

“The current method of trying to keep you under control via three unexperienced teenagers has proved lacking. Therefore, these methods must be revised.”

Wait, what?

“You mean, you’re not going to fail me or anything?” Sweetie Belle asked cautiously.

Luna shook her head. “You’re too valuable to us, Sweetie Belle. You and your friends have cleared out more dark magic users than we could hope for, and all of Equestria is thankful for it. Now, we just have to improve before one of you gets hurt.”

The Princess walked out from behind her desk. She seemed to tower above Sweetie Belle. Luna only nodded to her before continuing past, evidently expecting the younger student to follow. Sweetie Belle, with no other choice, complied and tried to keep up with the Princess.

They walked through the school halls together, Sweetie Belle clinging to her side. The walls didn’t seem so overbearing and the darkened classrooms not as imposing when the Princess was beside her. Sweetie Belle’s friends were nowhere to be seen, so she assumed they had gone somewhere else.

A few students passed them, bowing to the Princess every time. Sweetie Belle grinned as they did and stuck her nose up in the air. Most of the students, like her and her friends, traveled in close groups. She wondered if they went out on missions, too. They refused to tell her, but she had to assume that at least a few students went out to fight. That, and she thought a few students had been missing lately . . .

Luna stopped in front of two wide double doors. They guarded the entrance to the school’s auditorium, which Sweetie Belle had only been in once. She shivered when she recalled the memory. It had been the last time the dark magic had taken hold of her that everypony had seen, and she never wanted to go through it again.

She found her friends sitting in the front row of the auditorium. Diamond Tiara and Pipsqueak were close together, of course, while Rumble was off to the side. He perked up as Sweetie Belle trotted in. Walking down the center aisle with Luna, she saw that the stage at the front of the auditorium was lit up by spotlights, but otherwise empty.

“Sit,” Luna commanded, and so Sweetie Belle planted her flank right next to Rumble.

The Princess continued on up to the stage. She didn’t even bother with a microphone, since the auditorium was empty besides the five of them. Instead, she stared down at the students with a long, cold gaze.

“It took several meetings with my sister for us to decide what to do with you four,” she began, then smiled. “You’re all quite famous around Canterlot, if it pleases you to know. Even Celestia knows who you are.”

She cleared her throat, then continued, “You have racked up fifteen kills between the four of you since the last phase of your training, a fact that we here at the CMMA are proud of.” Her face hardened. “However, it is not good enough. Dark magic ponies are turning up in larger and larger numbers. Celestia herself has had to intervene, but they still continue to come. If we do not stop the tide, we will be overwhelmed. And so, we have come up with a solution.”

Behind Luna, three ponies walked onto the stage. Sweetie Belle struggled to see who they were, but the lights obscured her view. She sighed and continued to listen to Luna’s speech.

“The decision has been made that the four of you, in addition to the rest of the school, are in need of further instruction. Currently, out of all the students, only Rumble and Sweetie Belle are able to use their music magic to create true weapons. This needs to change,” Luna said. “For once you students have reached a suitable level, we will join forces with Celestia’s Royal Guard. Together, we will go on the offensive into the lands outside Equestria and strike at the heart of the black magicians. That offense starts here, today.”

The lights dimmed to reveal the identity of the three ponies who had been shrouded in brightness. Sweetie Belle wasn’t sure to be surprised or not. On the far left stood that pony from Ponyville, Lyra, in a stark white jacket with the hood over her head. In the middle was Octavia, with her nose in the air as always, and to her right sat Naught Note, regarding them with a neutral gaze.

Luna stepped forward. “For now, the three of you must be split up before you can work as a team again. When you come back together, you will be stronger than ever before.” She pointed to each of them in turn. “Diamond Tiara and Pipsqueak, your place will be with Miss Octavia. She will instruct you in the ways of using your instruments as weapons. We can only hope the best for you.

“Rumble, even though you still do not technically attend this school, you have been a valuable asset to us. If you would accept, you and your old teacher, Naught Note, will help train more students up to your level in preparation for the coming fight.”

At last, she turned to Sweetie Belle. “And for you, Sweetie Belle, somepony who can teach you to control what is inside you. If you work hard, you will be our most valuable asset. If not, you may turn out to be our worst enemy. I wish you the best of luck with your new teacher: Lyra Heartstrings.”

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