"You sure you wanna do this?" Nova asked Cartman, who was still sitting on the pavement. This had all happened too fast. One minute, Nova meets Hershel, and then the next, if THAT isn't fucked up enough, he meets Eric Cartman. Something is wrong with Equestria, that's for sure....

Cartman looked back at his house, if he had fists, he would be clenching them out of total anger. Cartman looked up at Nova with gritted teeth.

"Hell yeah, I wanna do this, dude!" Cartman exclaimed. "My living conditions suck complete ASS!"

Nova sighed. "Okay, man....But, don't you think this is a little...Harsh? I mean, she IS your mother."

Cartman rose an eyebrow angrily. "Yeah! She's my whoreish mother! Who never pays any attention to her only son!"

"Hey, so she likes sex, dude." Nova argued.

"Oh yeaaahhh...." Cartman replied with frustration. "She likes sex A LOT! So much that her own son is replaced with some tall guy whose dick is the size of a paper-clip! Hey, I'm surprised she doesn't have atleast 20 sons with the number of times she bones a day!"

"Poor kid...." Nova thought sadly. "But, It's his life...."

"Let's go, Nova." Cartman said impatiently.

"You do realize this is going to be a long shot, right?"

Cartman looked down sadly. The plan Nova had certainly was complicated. If it didn't work, Cartman would be screwed, but he was screwed enough living with his whore of a mother. "I have faith, dammit....."

Nova chuckled. "Good, cuz I sure as hell don't." Nova gestured to Cartman to start walking. "Let's go."

Cartman followed Nova. Since there were no cars, they would have to hoof it. But the FPS wasn't too far away from Cartman's house.

Meanwhile......

Damian, Kit and Tate groaned with each hop Pinkie Pie took. Why did of all ponies that their father could have chosen to babysit them, did he have to chose the most annoying one of them all? It all made sense, though. Pinkie Pie was the equivalent of their father, just in pony and girl form.

"Come-on, you silly willies!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Stop acting all mopey dopey and come on and hoppy woppy with me!" The boys groaned at all the baby talk.

"Don't you....Ever talk...Normal?" Damian asked, quite curious. "Or...Ya know....Ever stop talking.....AT ALL?"

Pinkie giggled. "Don't like the baby talk, huh?" The boys shook their head vigorously. "Okay, I'll stop! I mean, you're all three pretty mature little colts, aren't you?"

"We sure are!" Tate exclaimed while Pinkie his nose. Pinkie cringed.

Kit jabbed his elbow into Tate's stomach. "Tate! That's disgusting!"

Tate grumbled. "You're just jealous cuz I have a girlfriend."

Pinkie immediately beamed with excitement. "Oh yeah! You and Scootaloo are eachother's very special somepony, that's right! You two want me to throw a party in honor of your special somepony-ship?"

"Scootaloo is NOT Tate's girlfriend, Pinkie Pie." Kit replied.

"That's right." Damian added. "All she did was plant one of her GROSS little girly kisses on him when he wasn't paying attention."

Pinkie frowned. "I thought you told me you liked her last night, Tate?"

Tate nodded with a smirk. "I do."

Kit rose an eyebrow. "Then why did you avoid her ALL of last night?"

"Ummmmm......" Tate scratched his chin in confusion, he then suddenly grinned. "Cuz she's a chicken! And chickens are SUPPOSED to be ignored!" Damian and Kit facehoofed in response.

Pinkie giggled. "A chicken? That's silly! Scootaloo isn't a chicken! I was a chicken for Nightmare Night last year, though. I pecked at the ground so much, it was almost like I was crazy or something!" Pinkie then laughed.

"ALMOST?!" Damian exclaimed. "Ummm....I think you've got that statement ALL screwed up, sister."

Pinkie looked at Damian confusingly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're loco!!!!!!!" Tate exclaimed happily.

Pinkie grinned widely. "LOCO IN THE COCO?"

"No, no, Pinkie...." Kit said. "Forget Damian said anything...."

Pinkie frowned. "I wanna be loco in the coco...." She then began hopping up and down. "I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA!"

"Oh no...." Kit groaned, burying his face in his hooves. He then glared at Damian. "Look at what you started!"

Damian gasped. "Me?! Numbskull over here HAD to answer her when we just could've told her to ignore it!"

Tate said nothing. He just looked at his brothers with a Troll face.

"I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA!" Pinkie continued to whine, and then Horsepower trotted up and began hopping as well.

Now both Pinkie and Horsepower were whining at the same time. "I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA!"

"Oh no....." Kit groaned once again. "Now Brock Lesnar's joined in, as well!"

By now, many ponies were staring, and it made Damian and Kit quite uncomfortable. They were used to their father doing outrageous things, but he just yelled, he didn't hop up and down like a little gay.

"ALRIGHT!" Kit screamed. "You're both loco in the coco!"

"YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Horsepower screamed. "I. LIKE. COOOOOOOOCCCCCCCOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" Horsepower was satisfied, so he ran off to most likely drink some cocoa.

"Yay!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Loco! Loco! Loco! I'm LOCO in the COCO!" Pinkie sang.

Tate soon joined in along with Pinkie. "Loco! Loco! Loco! I'm LOCO in the COCO!"

Pinkie giggled. "Come-on, Damian and Kit! Sing with us!"

Kit and Damian rubbed the back of their necks awkwardly. Half of Ponyville was gawking at them, even though they seemed to be enjoying the show that was being put on for them.

"No thank you...." Kit said.

"Yeah." Damian said, smirking. "Singing is for girls and wussies."

Then, something unexpected happened. Pinkie Pie's mane turned into fire. She grew a disgusted but also evil look on her face. "SING WITH UUUUUUSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She commanded in a demonic tone. Kit and Damian jumped back in fear.

Pinkie blushed from embarrassment as her mane turned back to it's original Pink color. "Heh heh....Sorry, guys. That's only the second time that voice has ever come out. The first was when Applejack broke a Pinkie Promise. Oh! Which reminds me, don't break a Pinkie Promise."

Damian and Kit nodded, still in shock. They decided they would sing along. After all, they kinda wanted to keep their life....

"Loco, Loco, Loco....I'm loco in the coco...." Kit and Damian sang unenthusiastically, while Tate and Pinkie sang with pride and happiness.

Pinkie giggled. "Not big singers, are ya?" She asked Damian and Kit.

"Like I said." Damian replied. "Singing is for girls and wussies."

Pinkie giggled. "You remind me of Marcus SOOOOOO much, Damian!" Damian smirked, taking that as a compliment. After all, Marcus was a bad-ass.

"Who do I remind you of?" Tate asked excitedly.

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Pinkie exclaimed, highhoofing Tate.

"Heck yes!" Tate exclaimed, grinning happily.

Kit sighed. "Who do I remind you of?" He asked, not caring about the reply.

Pinkie giggled. "TWILIGHT!" Kit's eyes bulged.

"No way!" Kit thought. "That has to be a MISTAKE!"

Damian was laughing, however. "I knew you were a nerd, dude!"

Kit glared at Damian. "I'm not a nerd! I'm just...."

"Nerd-LIKE?" Tate suggested, but that wasn't any better.

"NO!" Kit yelled. "I'm not a nerd, and I'm not nerd-LIKE. I'm just..."

"A smarty-pants?" Pinkie answered for Kit.

"....Close enough." Kit said, frustrated.

"Yay!" Pinkie cheered. "I was right!"

"Actually," Kit continued. "You were HALF right. Which means, you weren't FULLY right." Damian chuckled at his nerd brother, while Pinkie seemed impressed.

"Wowwy, Kit!" Pinkie exclaimed. "You may be smarter than Twilight, even!"

"Naaahhhh...." Damian said, snickering. "Twilight's a WAY bigger nerd than Kit!"

"Excuse me?" Said a voice, Pinkie and the boys turned around, and Twilight was walking up to them.

Damian gulped. "Oh crap..." He thought.

"Ooooohhhh...." Tate said aloud to Damian. "You're gonna GET iiiitttt!"

"Hi, Twilight!" Pinkie exclaimed, waving to her friend.

"Hello, Pinkie...." Twilight said, but she didn't wave back, she just continued to stare through Damian's soul.

"Twilight?" Pinkie said worriedly. "You okay?"

Twilight nodded absentmindedly. "I'm fine, Pinkie." She then furrowed her eyes at Damian. "I just couldn't help but notice young Damian here calling me a....What was it again, Damian?"

Damian began sweating. This was worse than a scolding from Ms. Cheerilee. "Ummm..."

"He called you a nerd!" Tate answered for his brother, grinning widely.

"Yeah....Thanks, bro...." Damian thought, glaring at his brother. "I hope Scootaloo falls again..."

"Oh? Is that so?" Twilight replied. "Why would you say something like that, Damian?"

"Now wait, Twilight...." Pinkie said, getting in between the two. "I'm sure Damian didn't mean it! Right, Damian?"

All Damian could do was sweat, and gaze upon Twilight's glare. He was frozen stiff. "Uhhhhh....."

Twilight would have none of it. "I am not, in any way, shape, or form....A "nerd." And it's not very polite to say something like that, Damian. I thought your father taught you better than that."

"Damian just does not listen." Kit said, smirking.

"Well..." Twilight continued. "He may want to start. Or else he's going to wind up with an angry Ponyville mob chasing him straight out of town. Do I make myself clear?" She got close to Damian's face.

Damian could only nod. He was beside himself. No pony, no girl, especially a NERDY GIRL had the right to scold him like that!

"Good." Twilight said, beginning to walk off, but still keeping her glare on Damian only. "I will see you later Pinkie. You too, Kit and Tate." She smiled at Kit and Tate, but then glared at Damian again.

"Bye, Twilight!" Pinkie exclaimed, waving along with Kit and Tate.

Pinkie then frowned at Damian. "Awwww. I'm sorry, Damian."

"About what?" Was all Damian could say. He was still looking at Twilight, who was walking backwards, STILL glaring at Damian.

"Freaking creepy...." Damian thought. "Why doesn't she take a picture? It'll last longer." Damian said aloud this time.

Pinkie smiled, and immediately pulled a camera from deep underneath the ground. "Dunno, Damian. But I'd be happy to take a picture of you!"

Damian's left eye began twitching. "Where did you....?"

Pinkie giggled. "The ground."

"But....How...?" Damian stuttered. This place was a LOT more weirder than the locker room. There were only sweaty apes there, Ponyville had horses whose sweat smelt of butterscotch. In the end, butterscotch-sweat beats regular sweat any day of the week.

"Two words:" Pinkie replied. "Camera....Emergencies...." She then giggled, and took a picture of Damian standing there with a WTF face. "Ohhh.....I'm framing this one!"

".....Cool?" Was all Damian could say.

"You're the best babysitter EVER, Pinkie Pie!" Tate exclaimed.

"Oh....What a kiss-butt." Damian thought,

Pinkie hugged Tate with glee. "Yay! I KNEW I was cut out for this! Thank you, Tate-Tots!" Pinkie giggled, and then quickly frowned. "Oh....Sorry. I forgot, you three don't like baby talk."

Tate laughed. "Nicknames isn't baby talk! That nickname is pretty catchy, too!"

Pinkie smiled with joy. "Yay! Tate-Tot! Ummm....Kit-Kat.....Aaaanddddd.....DAME-DOG!"

"What the....?" Damian replied. "Dame-dog?"

"AWWWWWW YEEEAAAHH!" Pinkie exclaimed, grabbing a visor from out of nowhere, and throwing it on Damian's head. "Lay down some sick rhymes, Dame-dog!"

"........................................................................................................." Silence in-sued.

Pinkie giggled. "Maybe some other time, then! Come-on, guys! Let's go have some FUN!" Pinkie grinned widely.

"Yay!" Tate yelled. Damian rolled his eyes.

"What kind of fun, Pinkie?" Kit asked curiously.

Pinkie gasped. "I know the PERFECT activity we can partake in!"

"WHAT IS IT?" The three boys asked simultaneously.

Pinkie giggled. "It's in my basement. Follow meeeeeee!" Pinkie hopped off, and as their legal guardian for the time being, the boys had no choice but to follow her.

Many minutes Later.....

Liane Cartman was in the midst of a steamy booty-call. This was her 6th bangarang of the day, and she was nowhere NEAR tired. She didn't know the guys name....."Doctor Booze" or something like that. Who cared? All she knew was this bastard was causing her juices to flow in indescribable ways.

Just minutes before Liane and her.....Boy-toy reached their breaking points....A knock on the door was heard.

"Oh my...." Liane said, inching her vagina away from her newest sex-partner's penis. The man frowned.

"Bloody hell! My Todger was ripe close to exiting in your back-slang!" The man said disappointingly.

Liane giggled. "Just let me see who this is. Then, when I come back, I'll finish you off." She winked, and then walked off.

"My, this is the best side of bangers and mash I've had in a long time!" The pony said, falling back down on the bed in exhaustion.

Liane opened the door, and standing in front of her, was a man in a royal blue collared shirt, and black pants. He was wearing glasses, and had a contract in hand.

"Liane Cartman?" The man asked, raising an eyebrow above his right frame.

"Yes?" Liane asked. Behind the colt, was her son, Eric, and a man she did not recognize, which was Nova.

"I'm Abuse Savior of the Foal Protective Services....We are here to take your child away."