#143
Spring. Day ? Evening? Location?

I'm still not sure how long it's been since I've been holed up in here. I'm hungry and haven't been seen for what feels like days. That beam of light hasn't moved or dimmed or faded away. It was really the only thing keeping the room alight too. I tried to speak, call out for some one but there's never a response. Not even a peep. A mild sting crawling up and down my spin has kept me uncomfortably awake. Panic is taking its time to settle in.

I'm starting to remember flashes of time I woke and was put under again. Like poison had rotted me through, drove me mad. They restrained me time and time again, tore the pages that held the spells out from my journal. They pulled a small rod that had pierced my back. The bloody thing blackened and bent. I remember Luna and her power overwhelming mine. Her face in shock by the sight of me. Her taking of the Parchment Stone. Her pulling me through the field in a case of magic.

I thought more and more, the reasons why I became so enraged. Remembered Luna's history and how she had become Nightmare Moon. I suppose the same could be said about me. It wasn't so much that had given into dark powers but that I was twisting the way the world was set to work. And I suffered the consequences. My former science teacher always said that magic was reserved for each species and race, but always in a different way. I remember the discussions that went on for grand lengths and how pegasi and unicorns differed in their use of magic. Earth ponies had their own special way, some notably so. Applejack and Pinkie Pie, for example, know how stone and earth work their ways though they differ.

In the midst of my thoughts, I took a bit of time to rummage through my bag and found the locket Apricot had given me all those months ago. I released the latch and my heart began to long for her. I worried for what she might think when I return. I won't be the same anymore. I've become irreversibly damaged, I feel. I will I say when we meet again? Then the words came, “I'm sorry.” I choked. At last I could speak. “I'm so sorry.” I sobbed, holding the locket to my chest. “I'm so sorry.” I trembled. I began feeling cold then too. Still am, though I'm covered in thick quilts.

The cold crept into my legs and I began to drift. The shackles frosted over, turned brittled and shattered. Freeing the chains from their burden. “There's a thing.” I whispered. I picked up a shard and watched it turn to hot iron and melt away onto a gust of wind. The different elements fought amongst me in small little wars like I was their world. In a sense, I could see that. Though, these little wisps were playful and it cheered me up, however little.

I wonder if unicorns had their own magics bicker over who's better. Would be quite the show. As much as the thought entertained me, I came to realize that this may have happened with my mother, before she was parted.

I can only wonder how that would've occurred. Perhaps one of the Designer's books speak of it. Whether or not the Bibliotheca holds it is another matter.

#143
Spring. Day ? Time of day? Location?

After tiring my hoof in writing a vast length, I napped. Dreamed nothing and awoke to nothing. Silence and the sun beam. Is the moon hiding away? Shying itself from my presence? “You just don't want to leave, do you?” I huffed. “All I've done is lie here and write and you've done nothing but peek through the window. Surely you can do a bit more than show dust on the floor.” It stayed there. “Least you could do is have some conversation, you know.” The dust swirled up and formed an all too familiar figure. “I didn't think you'd come through the window, Mother.” I had originally intended my words as jokes.

“You haven't a thought or wonder why no one has seen you?” I made to ask, but she answered, “I froze time to see you, while I still can. The smallest things become hard to move.” Though she was made of dust now, she held all her beauty I remembered her for. But it seems this task has caused her some strain. Her forehead wrinkled frowns now. “So you've met Aeron?”

“I have. He's told me a bit, about you. About the world. Played a few games of chess with him. Not really a morbid fellow.”

She sighed with a smile, as if memory had returned to her, “He never was a morbid one. He helped when he could. Never turned someone down.” She stifled a tear but it rolled. Even with the golden dust, I could see it. “Tell him that I'm sorry. He'll know.”

“I'll be sure to but I have to find a way to him first.” A short laugh between us. Always nice to hear that soft laugh of hers. The thought of Nutmeg's corpse run through by spikes flashed over me. “Mother, can you forgive me?” I shook at the words. “I have murdered.”

“I watched the fight, dear. Your hoof was forced. I forgive you.” She said them easily enough, more habit than plague. “There are times when the wheel becomes locked and we can't move it, even if we time traveled.”

“Then you should know what will happen to us? When the Rebirth occurs, I mean.”

“I can't say. There are... too many factors.”

“Then I'll just have to narrow those down for you.”

She laughed lowly. “Perhaps.” And with that she returned to the dust. A quiet scream following her out the window. Her pain resonating in my chest. The dust moved and everything lurched a moment, then settled. The wisps vanished to the sound of the door creaking open. Light poured in from there, past silhouettes of familiarity.

With a smile I welcomed them, my new friends. Ginger and Dagressa were careful with their hugs, avoiding my casted wings. Bolt moved to an illuminated board and began placing x-rays on it. In the excitement, Ginseng thanked me and I saw Hisser and Fisher keep by the door, nod of their heads. “Alright.” Bolt butted in. “Three things, Letter. You'll heal but I'm afraid you won't be able to fly anymore.” I frowned. “Glide, maybe. The bones have broken too much to allow for full flexibility after they've healed. Might take years to actually fly again. Even then, your chances are incredibly low.”

“And the other two?”

“Well, you'll be heading home just as quickly as you got here. A Princess Luna and her companion scooped you up. Carried you here. Quite the bloody mess and incredibly lucky by my standards. Your equipment saved you in the end.”

“Where is it now?”

“Broken beyond repair. Hundreds of tiny shards, now. The third option? Entirely optional. It would involve amputation of your wings. Less pain in the long run but it eliminates flight completely. I'll await your decision.”

“I've already made it, Bolt, I'll keep my wings. You've already done enough, I feel.”

Slightly surprised, he raised a brow, “I suppose I have.” He recollected the scans. “You should rest. I'll be back to check on you. And Ginger, you know where to reach me.” She nodded, then turned her attention back to me.

“Ginger, can I speak to you, alone?” She looked to her father, who shooed everyone else out and followed them. “I have to go back, you know. I found I still long for Apricot.” My eyes found the floor. “I'm sorry.”

“I understand, Letter. I may be a barbarian, but I'm not entirely selfish. As a princess, though she may not have the best say, still has to respect her subjects.” She caressed my cheek. “You'll go back to those you love dear, spend your life there.” She smiled dimly, “Of course, you should take care of the matter with you mother first.”

“Right. How long has it been, anyways?” I thought to tell her of mother's visit, but I drowned the words before they came through.

“A few days. I'll have to look at the calendar again.” I saw it then, the purple lines forming under her eyes. Reddened by tears and rubbing. “I'll miss you, you know. I think I may even fallen in love with you.” she humored. “If anything, you're really the first one to tame my wild heart.”

“Just don't get lost. ” I added.

“Being lost isn't always a bad thing.” Couldn't argue there. “Now on to the matter of Nutmeg. You did kill him, which brings about a barrage of problems by law. However, Father and I are both willing to pardon the crime. Three things: discreet royal guard appointment, an honorary family emblem allowing free roam among the castles, and a room of your own in the royal castle. You'll be considered a hero too, by our word. Statues may be built in your honor, you know.”

“Let them be built. I only ask that it's not plastered everywhere. Not sure I could handle that.”

“Maybe one or two, then. I'll have an artist paint a portrait once you're out of this bed. That will be of course, before you leave. There's a ceremony for the emblem as well. We'll discuss it later. I should be letting you rest instead of filling your mind with more worries.” She sighed, “I'm afraid I must be going however, royal duties.”

“Stay. Please.” I blurted out. “I could use the company.” My mind shifted to Idol, recalling how I had stayed with him when he asked. Ginger didn't speak, only grabbed a chair hidden from view and kept my hoof between hers.

We remained silent for most of the time. She fell asleep and I wondered what the ceremony could possibly involve. I wondered about how to visit Aeron again. Most importantly, I wondered if I when the Designer would contact me again. I have a feeling the the Sky Spear may be where he will. It's a matter of where.