Colgate, Gilda, and Discord get it on!

Thanks to Shadowstalker for the request!

This chapter will contain non-human pony, griffon, and… Thing… Clop.

Categories: Colgate, Gilda, Discord, Chaos, Dentistry, Potatoes

Warnings: Potatoes and mild rape elements

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“Beaks, Braces, and Baked Potatoes”

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“Can you fix it?” Gilda Griffon grunted as she squirmed on the ground, obviously uncomfortable with her current situation.

“Shush.” Colgate urged her to sit still, laying a cautionary hoof on her neck. The griffon growled, a low sound that was almost lost in the ambient noise of the surrounding forest, but Colgate continued surveying the damage.

“C’mooonn,” She groaned, rolling her eyes. Colgate tore her eyes away from the problem, glaring down at the impatient griffon.

“I don’t like this any more than you do, missy. Celestia sent me here to help. You squirming and fidgeting doesn’t help. So shut up and let me work.” Gilda blinked up at Colgate for a few moments before her eyes slid downwards, her feathered cheeks flushing just a little. Colgate stared her down for a moment longer before returning her attention to the damage. “The worst part of it is honestly the crack… Any longer, and you would have risked losing the entire beak. You’re lucky you came to me when you did. Now, hold still…” Colgate’s horn lit up with a shine, glimmering as she leaned in to press it against the griffon’s beak. She squirmed her body, but kept her beak still, her eyes wide as she watched the damage begin to knit back together.

“Woah…” Colgate stepped away, panting from the exertion and smiling faintly. The griffon rubbed a claw over her beak, feeling the smooth, hard surface fully intact again. “How did you do that?”

“Back in Equestria, I’m a dentist. Beaks, talons, hooves, and teeth are all made out of calcium and iron, just in different quantities. The imbalance in your diet, however, caused your beak to weaken and crack when you tried to take down some prey. Hence the damage.”

“Eer… Say again?” Gilda blushed again, rubbing the back of her neck. “I… Don’t quite follow.” Colgate sighed, flicking her tail to the side as she attempted to explain in more simple details.

“Your beak is made out of the same stuff as pony teeth. You haven’t been eating right, and got hurt because of it. Fix your diet, and try to eat some gelatin. Fat, if you will.” Gilda blinked but seemed to get the gist of it.

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, I don’t know why, but I’ve been on a fruit binge lately…” Gilda blushed once more, still rubbing the back of her neck. “I’ll try to eat something else…”

“Please do. And be careful with your talons. They might be weak, too.”

“Right. Thanks. Uum, do I owe you anything…?” At the question, Colgate sighed once more.

“Afraid not… I’m here on assignment. I’m receiving a flat rate for my service… Gotta love socialism, eh?”

“Socialism?” Wow, this gryphon was really dense…

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s just say that because Princess Celestia said so, I have to help out you griffons for a few months. You’ll see me around, I’m sure. Here, let me take a look at that chip.”

“Oh. Okay.” Gilda leaned forward, giving Colgate the chance to examine her again. In addition to the long, thin crack that had formed on the hard surface, she had managed to lose a small triangle-shaped chip off the tip of her beak. Without the proper point, griffons wouldn’t be able to dig into their prey, pierce flesh, or tear their food out. While Colgate found carnivores disgusting, the way their bodies were designed for consuming and processing their prey was magnificent and fascinating.

As it stood, though, Gilda was missing the tip of her beak. Colgate’s horn glowed again as she touched it to the hard surface once more. Mending a crack was one thing, but regenerating lost material was a different task altogether. Colgate’s focus sharpened as she fought to make the tip grow back properly, narrowing the point to a sharp tip, grunting with the effort of using her magic in such a way.

“HMMPH!” The sudden grunt broke her concentration. Colgate’s eyes snapped open as she looked down at Gilda, whose beak was suddenly wide open.

“What the…?” She was rather confused… Why was Gilda’s mouth open so wide? What was happening? Colgate leaned in to inspect further, just as Gilda raised her head up. There, stuffed in her maw, was a bright red apple. “What?”

“And now the bird has been stuffed.” Colgate’s eyes went wide as she heard the gleeful, cheery tone. She whirled around, her eyes stopping on the terrifying visage before her. It was the creature that all Equestrians learned to fear. The plague of the sane and the happy.

“Discord!”

“Hmm-hmph!”

“Hahahaha!” He let out a devilish cackle, his serpentine body twisting backwards as he lifted his confusing face to the sky. “Oh, I do love a good pun. Go on, dear griffon. Try to close your mouth.” He grinned evilly at Gilda, and Colgate watched the Griffon struggle to close her jaw against the apple. Ultimately, she failed, and only managed to drool a little.

“Bawhhahahaha!” He rolled onto his back, squealing with delight as his legs kicked the air. “I love it!” His lion-paw wiped at his eyes, apparently ridding himself of tears of joy. Colgate shivered on her hooves, staring in disbelief at the being before her.

“Y-you’re supposed to be frozen…”

“Hmm? Oh, that whole fiasco.” With a deft leap, the avatar of chaos landed on a pink cloud, drifting lazily towards Colgate. “I’m banned from Equestria, but that doesn’t mean I can’t visit this and other places. You, my little pony, are safe. I can’t mess with you in any way… But her,” He pointed a claw at the struggling griffon, chuckling evilly. “She’s an entirely different story. I plan on having some good fun with her.”

“Wh… What are you going to do…?” Colgate whimpered fearfully. Gilda looked up at her with a pleading expression, as if begging her to help.

“Well, for starters…” With a snap of his fingers, the apple disappeared with a flash, replaced instead by a ball gag, cinched tight around the back of her head. “Even gods need to relieve stress sometimes.”

“Y-you’re… Going to-“

“Fuck her. Yes. I dare say that’s the proper term.” Discord’s pink cloud vanished in a flash, dropping the avatar onto his legs. “You may want to run along, little pony. This isn’t for you to watch.”

“B-but…” Colgate whimpered, looking between Discord and Gilda, who was drooling more against the gag. “She needs help…”

“Hmm? How so?”

“Her… Her beak is chipped… I’m supposed to be healing her.”

“Fine then, do what you can for her, but I’m not leaving. You can either wait until I’m done, or do what you will while I have my fun! Hahahaha!” In a puff of smoke, Discord disappeared and reappeared behind Gilda, his mismatched arms grasping her waist firmly. Gilda’s eyes shot open wide as she fought against him, but Discord would not be dissuaded. Colgate watched as Discord thrust forward, and judging from the thin, pained whine that Gilda emitted, she could guess what had just happened. Discord howled with glee, gripping the griffon’s thighs as he began to work his hips.

“I’m so sorry,” Colgate whimpered weakly. Gilda winced as she looked up at Colgate, her expression a strange mixture of helpless desperation and arousal… Was she actually enjoying what Discord was doing to her? “I… I can at least fix your beak…” Whimpering helplessly, Colgate leaned in, her horn pressing to Gilda’s beak with another glimmer of magic. It was difficult to concentrate, since Gilda was being more-or-less forcefully raped by the avatar of chaos himself, but she managed to heal the missing chip. It was made even more distracting by the fact that she would groan now and then, the vibrations going straight into Colgate’s horn.

“Haah… There.” She whimpered, pulling away.

“Are you finished? Can I get on with it?” Discord growled at her, still thrusting fast and hard into Gilda from behind.

“I… Yeah.” She whimpered. Despite herself, Colgate couldn’t help but feel slightly aroused herself… Gilda had stopped whimpering and moaning out of abject despair, but instead had seemed to accept it… If anything, she was enjoying it. The griffon drooled freely, her eyes rolling back in her head as she sagged down into the forest floor. Her moans had been really distracting… Colgate’s bushy tail tucked against her hindquarters, trying hard to conceal her arousal. “I’ll… Be going now…” She turned to walk away, blushing furiously.

“Aah…” Discord’s voice stopped her. “When I said you were safe…”

“EEP!” A burning sensation rocketed through Colgate’s body, making her jump and scrabble on the forest floor.

“I lied.”

“What IS that?!” She gasped, looking down at her marehood. It didn’t help that she was aroused, but now apparently, something was filling her up. She whimpered, feeling the pressure inside of her. Something was stuffed into her vagina, and whatever it was, it was really hot! Burning hot!

“Potato.” Discord snapped his finger, another potato appearing from thin air in his paw. “Baked, I dare say… You know what’s in a potato?” He crunched into the spud, a fresh wave of steam rolling upwards from the white, hot insides. “Potassium, iron, and calcium. It’s good for your teeth. EH, GILDA?!” With a devilish cackle, Discord shoved the potato down by where he was fucking her, and judging from the way Gilda tensed up and screamed against the gag, Colgate didn’t have to wonder where that potato was shoved.

“Get it out!” She whimpered, wriggling her hips. Colgate’s hooves slid over her own marehood, trying to coax the burning potato out, whimpering and moaning as she felt it shift and move with each unsuccessful motion she made.

“Only one way to get it out, Colgate!” Discord continued to laugh maniacally. “You need to help Gilda get her fill!” With a snap of his fingers, the gag in Gilda’s mouth disappeared, and Colgate was forced up against the griffon’s beak. With a gasp, she felt the hard surface grind against her core, pushing inbetween her soaked lips to nudge the potato a little deeper inside of her.

“Aahn!” Colgate whimpered. “I… Owwww!” She cried out, feeling the hot waves of heat radiate through her core. “Gilda! Please! Get it out!” She gasped, pressing her crotch forwards. Her hooves slid down to Gilda’s feathery head, pulling the griffon against her marehood firmly. From her new vantage point at the front of the action, she could see back to Gilda’s ass, the chewed half of the potato sticking out of the puckered hole, while Discord’s penis slammed into her harder.

Each rough thrust Discord gave Gilda carried the griffon a little further forward, her beak nudging at the potato stuck inside Colgate’s vagina. Discord was crossed between maniacal laughter and gleeful, childlike laughter, his mismatched arms still gripping Gilda firmly. The griffon grunted as she opened her beak, the rough texture of her bird tongue suddenly sliding over Colgate’s marehood. She shuddered and cried out, the burning sensation now joined firmly by pleasure.

“N-not my clit! Just get it out!” She begged, shuddering and whimpering as she felt the pleasure course freely through her. That, joined with the burning potato, and she was experiencing a rather unique sensation that, she was positive, nopony else had ever felt. Ever.

“Yes, do fish it out of there for her, Gilda. Then maybe I can take THIS one out!” With the accent, Discord’s paw slid around to her backside, and Colgate watched as he pushed the other potato fully into Gilda’s ass. The griffon reared her head with a vicious roar, but it quickly faded off into a thin, pleasured whimper. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth, sliding over Colgate’s twitching, burning marehood firmly. Colgate gasped and shuddered, helpless against the first wave.

“I’m cumming!” She gasped out loud, arching her back. Her clit rubbed firmly against Gilda’s newly-regrown beak, making her cry out with the sudden shot of pleasure. “AUGH!” Her walls clenched around the hot potato, sending even more hotness through her entire body. She shuddered and gasped, her body shaking as she came against Gilda’s beak firmly. The griffon whimpered and looked up at her with wide eyes, subject to the rough brand of pleasure that Discord was still lavishing on her from behind. The wet, slapping noises of dragon-creature flesh on griffon were almost painful to bear… In fact, Gilda seemed to be smiling. She was enjoying this…

Truth be told, so was Colgate.

“Uughn!” Collapsing, Colgate landed on her back, whimpering as the burning sensations still raced through her.

“Poor little pony.” Discord chuckled, looming over her suddenly. She swallowed hard, looking up at the terrifying creature with a lustful expression. “You just plain can’t handle it… And you,” He glared at Gilda, the griffon’s body prone on the forest floor. “Can’t even fish a baked potato out of a pony’s pussy! You’re pathetic!” Colgate gasped out loud as she was suddenly voided of the burning pleasure. Poor Gilda, though, had her ball gag replaced with the potato. Judging by the way her tongue licked around the rough surface, though, she was thoroughly enjoying the taste of Colgate’s marehood on the spud.

Colgate’s sympathy suddenly vanished. Discord loomed between her spread legs, grinning wickedly down at her. She glanced down the length of his serpentine body, swallowing hard at the sight of his massive, throbbing erection. It was unlike any she had ever seen before, no colt was quite like it… It had a smooth tip, and no discernable head. The color was less pink and more red, too, the glistening flesh pulsing in time with Discord’s heartbeat… If he even had a heartbeat.

“Spread your legs wide, pony. I’m fucking you next!”

“Wha- NOOO!” Crying out, Colgate tried to close her legs, but Discord thrust his way between them with a firm grunt. She gasped as his otherworldly cock filled her up, sliding into her dripping cunt with ease. “UUHN!” Her back arched, feeling him slide so deep into her, her stomach must have distended… Discord chuckled lowly, sliding his length in and out a few times, just an inch at a time.

Depsite herself, Colgate began to enjoy it… The burning potato left a residual effect of warmth, not unlike the desire she felt when she wanted a stallion… And Discord, rough and unforgiving as he was, at least wasn’t doing anything too fucked up to her. At the moment, his tongue hung out of his mouth, his thin hips pistoning against her.

“You there!” He grunted, pointing at Gilda with a claw. “Come here!”

“Hmnn.” Gilda gruned, shakily rising to her legs. At Discord’s beckoning, the griffon walked forward, and through a series of rough grunts and confusing words, she swung a rear leg out over Colgate’s head. Positioned above her was a thin, pale pink slit, glistening as the muscles inside contracted and pulsed. She could see into Gilda’s fuck-hole, watch her pink depths twitch and pulse. With the combination of hot heat from the potato and the sensation of being roughly fucked, Colgate couldn’t help herself. She was of the same mind the other two were when she raised her head and plunged her long, flat tongue deep into Gilda’s glistening pink hole. The griffon cried out against the potato in her mouth, dribbling thin arousal into Colgate’s mouth.

Being a dental purveyor, Colgate understood the importance of tongue strength. Nearly every creature in the world used their tongue for secondary oral hygiene, from picking stray and difficult bits of food from their teeth, to lapping up water or even licking blood from their claws. Colgate was no exception. Her tongue pulsed wildly inside Gilda, pressing against her delicious walls, sliding out to rapidly flick her clitoris. What’s more, the griffon’s ass was still stuffed with the potato, and as she opened her eyes to look up, she could see the tight pucker pulse around the intrusion. Her hooves raised, spreading Gilda’s tight rump apart, teasing her rosebud to help the spud escape.

“Hnn! Hahmph!” Gilda chomped at the potato, trying hard to speak properly around it, but she just couldn’t manage. She only drooled more, the shining strands of saliva stretching from her beak all the way down to Colgate’s twitching, full stomach. Discord did not remain idle during this period, either… His hips thrust deep into Colgate over and again, filling and voiding the mare’s insides with his otherworldly, smooth prick. It was unlike any fuck she had ever had before, but that seemed a given, since she was currently subject to the god of chaos’ dirty ministrations.

“Oh yes, my little ponies! Good job! Take that potato out!” Discord cried out, cackling with triumph. Colgate doubled her efforts, her tongue moving from Gilda’s dripping cunt to her asshole, licking the rough surface of the potato that poked out. She just needed a ridge, an edge… Something! THERE!

“AAUGH!” Gilda cried out as Colgate’s tongue gripped a small indent in the potato, licking upwards. The potato rotated inside of her ass, burning Colgate’s tongue with it unworldly heat, making her moan directly into Gilda’s tight pucker. With a shudder, the griffon relaxed her muscles, opened her ass, and pushed the potato out… It rolled through the grass, but not before giving Colgate a full, musky taste of Gilda’s asshole. She was clean, and had a very feminine, arousing taste to her. Colgate didn’t want to go without another taste. Her tongue plunged deep inside of Gilda, probing the depths of her twitching cunt as the griffon cried out.

The three of them came simultaneously, and Colgate blacked out.

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Princess Celestia frowned down at Colgate, the silence between them almost tangible. Colgate swallowed, keeping her head bowed, afraid to look up at the princess.

“How many times did this happen during your deployment, Colgate?” The princess asked quietly, finally breaking the silence. Colgate swallowed hard.

“F-fifteen times in two months, princess…” Again, the silence. Colgate shuffled her hooves, feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

“Hmm,” Celestia finally mumbled. “Guard.”

“Yes, Princess!” The sound of the unicorn guard teleporting into the throne room, his hoof already steady in salute, nearly made Colgate jump.

“Bring it in.”

“Yes Princess!” Another flash of magic, and he was gone.

“P-princess?” Colgate whimpered, looking up at the imposing alicorn before her. “What… Are they bringing in…?”

“You’ll see.” Celestia said quietly, her lips spread in soft, disarming smile. Colgate whimpered again, her eyes going to the floor. When the doors opened behind her, she heard the sound of a cart being pushed through the throne room. It stopped next to Celestia, who slowly descended from her throne, standing maybe ten feet before the blue unicorn.

“Thank you. You may leave us.”

“Princess?” Colgate asked. The servants left the cart and were already halfway gone.

“Stay here, Colgate.” Celestia said calmly. Her horn glowed as she lifted the lid off of the large pot standing on the cart. “I want you to do something for me…”

“Princess?” This time, Colgate’s tone was surprised. The doors closed, leaving Celestia and Colgate alone in the throne room. With a warm smile, Celestia spun about, her magnificent tail flicking aside to reveal her own curvaceous plot, her glistening marehood. Colgate’s jaw dropped.

“Show me.” The pot tipped over, spilling dozens of steaming, hot baked potatoes across the throne room’s floor. “Show me what daddy Discord did to you.”

Author's Notes:

I get the feeling sex with Discord is always a strange thing. I’ll make it a point to write all Discord requests as quirky and different as I possibly can.

Then maybe you sick fucks will stop requesting them XD