Anthropomorphism

by Divide

Chapters

Chapter One: The Grass is Always Greener...

Anthropomorphism

Chapter One: The Grass is Always Greener...

Edited by: TheDaringDone

Dramatic Reading here.

You stared out the window beside your bed, feeling the nice, cold breeze caress your exposed face. You were trying to fall asleep, but the combination of jet-lag and coffee since you arrived had left you with a mild case of insomnia. Agitated, you turned over onto your back, staring at the stucco ceiling and the ever-changing designs that melted and swirled whenever you looked away. You decided to do a mental recap of the day's events to help calm your over-active brain.

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Since your entire family is of the regular variety of ponies, your dad had worked in the Field of Nanotechnology for years. Finally, after many years, he made the breakthrough that he'd been raving about: he managed to make a new type of self-repairing, microscopic nanobot capable of things that ponies couldn't even comprehend. At least, that's what he had said to you. Your father had sold the rights to the Solar Corporation for a very large sum of money.

With the money earned from selling the patent, your parents thought it appropriate to move to a nicer locale. When you first heard that, you didn't think that they meant across Equestria. You were given only a few days to pack and say goodbye to your friends and classmates. Fortunately for you, you only ever had two friends. You three were virtually inseparable: you had been friends since elementary school. Saying goodbye to them made you feel like you were cutting a small piece out of yourself.

Ever since the announcement that you were moving to a small town named Ponyville and leaving your friends behind, you had felt lethargic. The plane ride hadn't helped. Boarding a plane at five in the morning and sitting still for seven hours hadn't been easy.

At least, you had thought absently, we got to ride first class.

You had gotten off the plane with your mom and dad, following them straight into the waiting limo. You weren't used to the special treatment that you had only recently been on the receiving end of. The two hour limousine ride was taken in silence. Any attempts from your father or mother to start a conversation with you was shut down by your monosyllabic answers.

Upon arriving at the town of Ponyville, you were awestruck by it. It had all the aspects of a modern town: cafes, restaurants, a coffee shop or three, and a shopping mall, yet it still felt like a small, rural town. You guessed that there was at most two thousand ponies living there, if that. It made you homesick just looking at it.

You glanced out the tinted window of the limousine at a group of students walking out of a coffee shop, talking and laughing. You were surprised to see members from all three sub-species hanging out together. Where you were from, everypony stuck to their respective groups. You also noticed that their expressions changed dramatically as soon as they laid their eyes on the limo.

Great. I never thought that I would be the rich kid new in town, you thought.

You closed your eyes for a few moments. You knew that having money didn't instantly make you into a shallow, pedantic asshole, but the expressions on the student's faces had made you think otherwise. Sighing, you leaned back into the leather seat only to have the limo stop and shut down.

"Well family, we're here!" your dad said enthusiastically as he opened the door, his short, vibrant gold hair swaying slightly in the breeze. He offered his hand to your mother and she graciously accepted, her own crimson red locks bouncing.

"Oh my," your mom said dramatically once she stepped out of the limo. "This place is simply fantastic!"

"Yeah," you mumbled. "Freakin' fantastical." You opened the other door and took in the sights: you knew that you'd be here for a while. The house, or rather, mansion, was three stories tall, made of stone and brick, and looked like something straight out of a Conmane movie. There were guard towers - guard towers! - embedded along the stone wall that surrounded the mansion, giving it a looming, unfriendly look. You saw unicorns wearing black uniforms patrolling along the wall. Sighing, you caught up with your mom and dad, who were already walking towards the gate.

Fortunately, you had long legs that enabled you to catch up relatively quickly. At your old school, your friends had told you that you looked so imposing when you walked. They had jokingly said that the only reason they kept you around was because you intimidated anyone that didn't know you personally. Which, now that you thought about it, was most people. You never really understood the intimidation factor: you had never physically harmed or abused anyone before. Apparently, you were just 'freakishly tall'.

You followed your parents through underneath the large archway that was a part of the outside wall. You couldn't help but notice the two massive wrought-iron gates that were opened to let you and your family pass.

There goes any ideas I had about sneaking out at night, you thought wryly. Not like I would ever do that, but still. Those things are overkill.

Sighing again, you caught up with your parents once again, trailing slightly behind them. You overheard a bit of their conversation.

"Dear, are you sure that he's going to be alright here? I think that the small town atmosphere is just making him homesick," your mom said.

Right on the money, mother, you thought.

Your dad sighed and replied, "I know it is, sweetie, but I'm sure he'll adjust. He just needs to spend some time and effort into making some new friends here."

Yes, spend time and effort into making new friends while I leave my old ones behind, you thought.

You decided to make your hoofsteps a bit louder, as if you were just catching back up to your parents. You had learned long ago how to walk very quietly, despite your large hooves. It worked: your dad glanced behind him and motioned for you to walk beside him.

"There's my gentle giant," your dad said teasingly as you walked up beside him. "How are you doing, kiddo?"

"Just dandy," you replied. "After waking up at five in the morning, sitting in an airplane for seven hours, and having my head hit the ceiling after every bump during the two hour long car ride, I just can't wait to start unpacking," you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

A glint appeared in your father's eyes. "Who said anything about unpacking?"

You were going to ask what he meant by that, but the massive double doors being opened by two well dressed men caused your words to die in your throat. You walked forward with your mother and father, too dumbstruck to do anything but stare.

The main foyer was huge. So large, in fact, that you thought your old house could have probably fit inside of it without touching any of the walls or the ceiling. Heck, now that you thought about it, it might even have fit two. There was a golden chandelier that was attached to the ceiling, almost two stories high. I hope that I don't have to change the lights on that, you thought absentmindedly.

Your gaze scanned across the rest of the foyer, taking in dark, royal blue carpet that was laid on the floor, the intricate carvings on the wooden stair rails leading up to the second floor, and the lack of any packing boxes. You looked at your dad who grinned back at you.

"What do you think, son? Nice place, eh?" your father asked you.

"Err, yes. Yes it is," you responded. You bent down and took off your shoes, then stepped onto the carpet.

"By Celestia," you exclaimed. "So this is what it feels like to walk on clouds..." You thought that it was funny, considering you weren't a pegasus.

Your mother and father took off their footwear and joined you. "Oh my," your mom said. "I must agree with you, darling. This carpet is simply to die for."

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You and your parents spent the next hour going through the various rooms of your new home. There were six bedrooms, all of them equally large in size. You were shocked to learn that each bedroom was practically a suite in itself: they each had a full-sized fridge, an oversized three dimensional television, and a bathroom. You were even more surprised to learn that there was to be a unicorn chef cooking your families meals from now on.

After taking the grand tour of the house, you asked your parents if you could go back to your room, seeing as how everything was already unpacked. Your father, however, had other plans.

"Son, your mother and I think it would be best if you went into Ponyville and at the very least say hello to some of your future classmates," your dad said.

You take a quick look at the watch on your arm. "But it's already eight o'clock!" you countered.

Your father checked his own watch, an eighteen karat gold Rolex. "I do believe you forgot about the Time Zone change, my dear boy. It's only five."

Your shoulders slumped. You had been looking forward to spending some time alone in your new room. "Alright, I'll go."

Your father started to wave the chauffeur over, but you stopped him by saying, "Dad, I really don't think that having me dropped off in a limo is the best first impression that I can give. I think I'll walk."

"Stay safe, darling!" your mother called to you as you started to walk down the gravel driveway towards Ponyville, adjusting your watch as you went.

"I will, mother," you replied as you continue to walk.

Your stroll didn't last all that long. Ten minutes later, you found yourself walking briskly on the sidewalk of Ponyville's main street, Mane St. You found the street name to be ironic as you continued to walk, your hands in your jean pockets to protect them from the brisk October wind. You looked up from your hooves as you noticed how far you've walked. You stopped and looked around, trying to figure out where the students would congregate on a Friday afternoon. You eventually settled on a coffee shop/cafe hybrid called 'The Blue Pony Cafe'.

You walked in and were immediately entranced by the aroma of freshly ground coffee. Oh coffee, how I have missed you...

You took a quick look around and saw only five ponies in the cafe, of which two were using computers. I guess this isn't the high school haunt, then. Well, I'm here anyway, might as well grab a cup...

You strode over to the cashier whose eyes became wider with every step you took. She was a unicorn with shoulder-length turquoise coloured hair that had a white stripe going down the middle, and she appeared to be about a year or two older than you. Her fur colour was a few shades lighter than her hair. She was wearing a blue apron over her clothes. And she was looking at you in what appeared to be terror.

"Umm, hi there?" you asked quietly. "Are you alright?"

She blinked several times before giving her head a shake. "I'm so sorry about that. I thought you were someone else..." she trailed off.

"I get that quite a bit..." you said as you looked read her nametag. "...Lyra."

I wonder if she plays the lyre, you thought. You decided to ask.

"Do you play the lyre, Lyra?" you asked, stifling a smile at the wordplay.

Lyra visibly brightened when you asked. "Yes, yes I do! In fact, I'm the band leader at my school! I play all sorts of instruments, but I am by far the best at playing the lyre."

You nodded. "Cool. I hope I can see one of your performances in school sometime. I'm brand new to Ponyville."

The cashier visibly brightened when she heard that you were new to the town. "Oh, that's wonderful! I'm sure you'll find Ponyville to be the most happy and welcoming town!"

"I hope so too," you replied. You squinted at the board listing all the types of coffee behind the cashier. "Can I just get a large double-double coffee? I can never remember the difference between a 'macchiato' and a 'cappuccino' or any of the other types..."

"Sure thing!" replied Lyra as she entered the amount in the cash register. "That'll be $2.79. Cash or credit?"

"Cash," you said as you handed her a five from your wallet. Cash is king...

With a little magic, the turquoise-headed girl made your coffee and handed it over to you in less than a minute. "Thank you very much," you said as you started to walk towards the exit.

"See you in school!" said the cashier happily.

"Bye, Lyra."

You stepped back out onto the sidewalk, sipping on your coffee as you determined the next place you should visit. Your decision was made for you when you saw two ponies causing a commotion in front of what appeared to be a bakery.

Friendly and welcoming, eh? you thought wryly as you crossed the road.

As you walked closer, you were able to determine that the two arguing were both ponies around your age. The one facing away from you had hair that was the brightest shade of pink you had ever seen, the curly locks reaching down to the middle of her back. The other pony had shoulder length hair that was coloured in the vibrant hues of the rainbow and you could see her wings fluttering in annoyance. You overheard their argument as you walked closer.

"Damnit Pinkie! How many times do I have to say it?! We're not kids anymore!" yelled the one with the rainbow hair, who seemed to be an athletic type, if her track suit was any indication. Both her and her wings were a light cyan colour.

"But Dashie-" the curly pink-haired one started to respond, but was cut off. You noticed that her fur colour was also a few shades lighter than her hot pink hair.

"I told you not to call me that anymore! It's either 'Rainbow', 'Dash', or 'Rainbow Dash'!" interrupted the pegasus.

By this point, you were standing a few feet away. You cleared your throat and asked, "What's going on here?"

Startled, both of them turned to look at you. The one with the rainbow hair seemed like she was going to yell at you, but decided against it. "Nothing," she said, her tone unfriendly. "I gotta go anyway. Don't call me, Pinkie."

With that, she turned around, unfurled her wings, and flew away, leaving you alone on the sidewalk with the girl with the curly pink hair. "What was that all about?" you asked her. You couldn't help noticing that she was teary-eyed.

She sighed and said, "Dashie was mad at me for inviting her to a sleepover at my house. She said that we were too old to do things like that, since people might get 'the wrong idea'. Whatever that means." She sniffed and added, "I thought that we were friends..."

You couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She seemed so innocent. 'Rainbow Dash' is going to get a piece of my mind when I see her again.

"I'm sure that she has other things bothering her," you said, hoping to comfort her. "You just happened to ask at the wrong time, that's all."

"I hope so," she said, her posture downcast. She looked up at you and locked onto your eyes. Her expression went from sad, to surprised, to exuberant. She gasped and made a squealing noise as she ran inside the bakery without saying a word to you.

You blinked several times, wondering what had just happened. I don't even...

Shaking your head, you looked around for the next place of interest. Your eye spoted the words 'Library' on a nearby building, causing you to do a double-take. Do my eyes deceive me? you asked yourself.

You started to walk closer towards the building and realized that, yes, it was a library. Nice! Nothing beats reading a good old paper book. At least they don't give me a headache when I stare at them for too long.

You adjusted your course and headed straight for the library. As you approached, you realized that it might not even be open this late. You quickly checked your watch. 5:25.

Your worry was for naught, however, as the sign beside the door said it closed at 7pm. You pushed the door open and as you walked through the open door, you cracked your head on the ceiling.

"Damnit!" you exclaimed, holding your head in one hand and your coffee in the other. Your cursing attracted the attention of an employee of some sort, who came rushing over to see what was wrong.

"Are you alright?!" she asked nervously.

"Yeah," you said as you stood back up, slowly this time. "Just cracked my head on your ceiling, that's all." You took a moment to look over the girl in front of you, a unicorn who appeared to be perhaps a year or so younger than you. You noticed that she had violet-indigo coloured hair, along with some pink highlights. Upon closer inspection, you also noticed some faint purple streaks as well. Her fur was the colour of lavender.

"You...you're very tall," she said, staring up to look you in the eyes.

"Tell me about it," you muttered. "What's the clearance height in here?"

The library worker thought for a second."I think it's six hooves two inches."

"Of course. Just has to be one inch too short," you said under your breath. "Anyway, hi there. I'm in need of a library card and a book to read."

Her whole demeanour changed when you said those magical words. "Really?! You actually want to take out some books?" she questioned.

You weren't sure why she was acting so strangely. "Uhh, yes? Why wouldn't I?"

She grabbed your arm and started dragging you over to a large desk, which you assumed was the librarian's. You could have easily broken free, but you decided to go with it. "Some explanation would be nice..." you said as you were being dragged by the younger, smaller girl.

The unicorn apparently realized what she was doing and let go of your arm. "I'm sorry, I was just so excited! Nobody besides Ms. Huk and I have entered the library for weeks!"

You didn't like that at all. "That's...that's terrible!" Your ears eventually report their findings to your brain, which prompted you to ask, "Wait, who's Ms. Huk?"

"She's the librarian," replied the girl who was sitting in a leather swivel chair, facing the lone computer.

"If Ms. Huk is the librarian, who are you and why are you helping me?" you asked, becoming slightly suspicious.

She giggled. "I'm the librarian's assistant." She pointed to a tag on her shirt. It read 'Twilight Sparkle: Library Assistant'.

Fair enough.

"Alrighty then." You looked around the library. It looked completely devoid of life and lustre. A flickering light bulb only enhanced the effect. "Why's this place so dead?" you asked.

Twilight didn't even look up from the computer screen, her fingers floating across the keyboard. "Well, if you had the option of reading anything you wanted on the Internet at any given time or having to walk to the library whenever you wanted a book, what would you pick?"

"The library. Reading on the computer hurts my eyes and gives me a headache," you replied earnestly.

Twilight stopped her typing and looked at your eyes. You noticed that they were the same colour as the purple strands of her hair.

"You have pretty eyes," you murmured, finding yourself lost in the two glimmering orbs'.

Twilight blinked like you had slapped her. "Excuse me?"

"I said, 'you have pretty eyes'..." you say louder. You then blinked a few times and face-palmed yourself. Stupid! Why did I have to say that out loud? And why'd I have to repeat myself when she asked me to clarify!

To your surprise, Twilight blushed and turned back to the computer. You thought you heard a 'thank you' come from Twilight, but you weren't sure. Thankfully, the awkward situation defused itself when Twilight Sparkle asked for your name, birthday, and phone number. Instead of answering, you pulled out your wallet and gave her your old library card, which already had all the necessary information written on it.

"Alright!" she said after she had given you your new library card. "What type of books do you like to read?"

You shrugged. "Anything that isn't Shakespeare." Twilight laughed and motioned for you to follow her further into the library. She ended up bringing you to the new releases section.

She started pulling books out with telekinesis. "'Blood is Thicker Than Friendship'? Hmm, doesn't seem like your sort of story. 'On the Wings of Angels'? No, you don't seem to be that type." You had no idea how she determined what type of book you liked and what you type you didn't but, once again, you just decided to go with it.

"Ah, this one will do," said Twilight as she read the cover of the latest book held by her magic. "'Red Thrush Private School'. I thought it was really good, so hopefully you'll like it too!" You graciously accepted the book and both of you walked back to the sign-out desk. You gave Twilight your brand new library card and she signed out the book for you.

"Thank you kindly, Twilight Sparkle. I may be back this weekend, depending on how quickly I read it," you said as you headed towards the exit. "And if I'm not, I'm sure I'll see you at school."

"Bye!" said Twilight as she waved.

You opened the door and stepped outside, breathing in the cold and virtually pollution-less air. You took a glance at your watch. 6:12. Bloody hell! How'd I lose track of time like that? You glanced up towards the sky and you noticed that the sun had started to set. You took the last swig of your coffee before tossing it into a conveniently placed trash can.

You were torn between two decisions: try to meet some more of your future schoolmates or go home to a nice, warm bed and read. You stared at the book in your hands.

I think that's an obvious choice, you thought as you started to head back towards the mansion. Read.

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You had gone back to your new home, eaten the best lasagna dinner you had ever had (courtesy of your family's new personal chef), then stayed locked up in your bedroom suite. The time flew by as you delved into the book that Twilight gave you. You had to admit: the book was pretty damn good.

Before you knew it, it was almost eleven o'clock and your parents were heading to bed. "Don't stay up too late, kiddo. I know it's Friday night, but you still have more socializing to do tomorrow!"

"Sure thing, dad," you replied. "'Night mom, 'night dad."

"Goodnight son."

You had made good on your father's request: you had brushed your teeth and crawled into bed at no later than 11:15. Unfortunately, you couldn't fall asleep. Your brain just wasn't cooperating when you told it to shut up.

*************************************************************

Your mind had drifted off in the purgatory between consciousness and sleep: the recap had done its job. Tired and more than a little grumpy, you fell asleep wondering what the next day would bring forth.

Chapter Two: A Rainbow in the Dark

Anthropomorphism

Chapter Two: A Rainbow In The Dark

You were woken up from your dreamless sleep by the sound of classical music. Yawning and rubbing your eyes, you turned and looked at the your alarm clock. 10:00am.

Ugh. I wonder what time I fell asleep last night. I feel like crap...

Sighing, you turned off your alarm clock and got ready for the day. Thirty minutes later, you had showered and got dressed, throwing on the first clothes that you dug out of your drawers. As opened your bedroom door, you caught the smell of your favourite breakfast.

Waffles!

You followed the scent of freshly made waffles to the dining room. You saw a pile of the delicious batter cakes stacked atop of one another in the center of the table, along with maple syrup, whipping cream, strawberries, and every other topping imaginable. Your father was sitting at the table, an untouched plate of food in front of him, engrossed as he was by the newspaper that he held.

"Good morning, son," he said without looking up.

"'Morning, dad," you replied. "What's so intriguing in the 'Canterlot Times'?"

Your dad sighed and said, "Nothing that would interest you, kiddo." He folded the newspaper and pushed it to the side. He looked at you and smiled. "You look as hungry as a Diamond Dog. Sit down and eat!"

Smirking, you sat down and loaded your plate with the greatest food known to ponykind. In-between mouthfuls, you asked, "Where's mom?"

"You just missed her. She went down into Ponyville around half an hour ago," your father replied as he started on his own plate. "Are you really going to go out dressed like that?" he asked.

You looked down at yourself. You were wearing blue jeans, a white T-shirt, and a black blazer. "What's wrong with it?" you asked, genuinely confused.

Your father shook his head and grinned. "Never mind. Changing topics, I forgot to ask you last night: did you meet any of your future classmates?"

"Yeah," you said, purposefully giving a less-than-detailed answer.

Your father raised an eyebrow. "And?"

Grumbling, you said, "I only met four of them, yet I already know that school is going to interesting, to say the least."

Your dad laughed at that, but didn't ask for any more information, of which you were grateful of. The rest of your breakfast was eaten in silence which was only broken when your dad's cell phone started ringing.

Your father looked at the number and frowned. "Sorry kiddo," he said. "I've got to take this one. Say hi to your mother if you see her!"

"I will!" you called as your dad walked away, his phone against his ear. After you finished your breakfast alone, you trudged back up the stairs to your room. You grabbed your wallet and keys. You eyed your phone, wondering if you were actually going to need it. After a quick deliberation, you decided to bring it, thinking it was better to have and not need it rather than need it and not have it.

With your stuff placed in various pockets, you left your house and started to walk down the gravel driveway to Ponyville. As you walked, you thought about the four ponies you already met.

What the heck was up with Pinkie? She looked at me like...I don't even know. At least I was able to get Rainbow Dash off of her back...

Your thoughts turned slightly darker as you thought about Rainbow Dash. I am going to give that pegasus a piece of my mind for yelling at Pinkie. She seems so innocent, even if she is a bit strange.

You look up from your hooves briefly, making sure that you aren't about to walk into anything. Satisfied, you went back to your thoughts. I have to remember to thank Twilight for recommending that book. I didn't even know that ponies were still writing second person stories...

You looked up and noticed that you were almost at Ponyville. At least Lyra seems to be normal. I wonder who she thought I was, you wondered as you turned off of the gravel path onto the sidewalk. Your musing was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Hey! Wait up!" somepony called from behind you. You turned around and were startled to find that you were nearly face-to-face with a blue pegasus. From the ground up, she was wearing skate shoes, track pants, and a blue zip-up hoodie. She was also wearing a pendant that had a cloud with a multi-coloured lightning bolt coming out of it.

"Damnit!" you exclaimed as you took an involuntary step back, causing the pegasus to laugh.

"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" she managed to say before breaking out into a fit of giggles.

Feeling a bit miffed, you said, "You startled me, that's all."

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say," replied the familiar pony as she forcibly repressed a smile. Her rainbow coloured hair was wet, either from a recent shower or from flying through a cloud. Wait a second, you thought. Rainbow hair!

"You were the one yelling at Pinkie yesterday!" you stated.

Rainbow Dash's face was impassive, but her wings fluttered nervously from your accusation. "Yeah, but that was only because she wasn't listening to me. Do you know what she was asking me?"

"Something about a sleepover," you replied.

"Exactly! I mean, we're in high school! Way too old to be having sleepovers!"

You thought about that for a moment. "Well, why don't you just tell her that? She seemed almost depressed when I talked to her..."

Rainbow Dash's shoulders and wings drooped slightly. "I don't want to upset Pinkie..." She shivered and continued, "...Not after last time."

Bringing herself back into the present, Rainbow Dash said, "Pinkie is like a little kid: she's full of energy, doesn't take no for an answer, and is ignorant of the world around her." Rainbow sighed. "She's also my friend, but I don't want any rumours getting around..." she trailed off.

You raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. You weren’t sure what she meant by ‘rumours’.

She brushed some of her mane out of her face. "Sorry. I don't know why I decided to tell you all of that. Those are my problems, not yours." A slightly awkward silence manifested between both of you before it was broken by Rainbow Dash. "Anyway, the reason I flew over here was to ask if you wanted to hang out."

You blinked a couple of times, your brain not really comprehending what she just said. "You...want to hang out with me?"

Rainbow cocked her head at you. "Why are you so surprised? You seem like a pretty cool guy..."

You laughed. "Aren't we part of two completely different social niches? I'm just an average earth pony, while you're one of the athletic pegasus types."

Dash narrowed her eyes at you. "How do you know I'm an athlete?"

Because I was looking at your perfectly toned ass, you thought, unashamed. Instead of saying that and possibly being punched in the face, you put on the best poker face you could and said, "You seem to be the type."

Apparently your poker face worked, as Rainbow Dash grunted an acknowledgement. "Well, that still doesn't explain why you don't want to hang out with me..."

You thought about how to put it into words. "Where I'm from, most of the different types of ponies kept to their own respective factions. Unicorns hung out with unicorns, Pegasi with Pegasi. Being an earth pony, I just kinda stuck to the background, not really associating with any one group over another."

Rainbow Dash nodded understandingly, her rainbow hair tossing up and down. "I know where you're coming from. You just want to keep your options open and you don't want to be locked in with one particular group, right?"

Surprised by her comprehension, you replied, "Err, yes. That's pretty much it."

She grinned mischievously. "Here in Ponyville, the ponies aren't like that. You can hang out with whoever you want, with no consequences. So, unless you hate my guts, feel like hanging out?"

You were surprised by just how much weight was lifted off of your shoulders. Grinning in return, you said, "Sure. Why not?"

"Cool! Follow me: I'll show you around town."

She has GOT to be up to something, you thought as you walked beside Rainbow Dash. Unless...people really are this friendly here...

Looking around, you caught a glimpse of a bright pink building that was unlike any that you had ever seen. “What in Tartarus is that?” you asked.

Dash laughed and flew ahead of you, hovering above the ground. “That’s Sugarcube Corner. It’s the local bakery around here. Pinkie works there after school.”

You thought that the building looked absurd; the walls were the only part of it that gave it any resemblance to a normal building. Looking up, you noticed that the shingles appeared to be made of gingerbread with icing along the outskirts of the roof. Absolutely ridiculous. How did I miss this yesterday?

“Is this...thing...architecturally safe?” you asked cautiously, thinking that a building with a gingerbread roof would collapse from the first storm of the season.

Rainbow Dash laughed at you. “I doubt it, but none of the pieces have broken off, so I guess it’s sturdy enough. Are you going to stand there all day, or are you going to follow me?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you reply as you tear your eyes from the chaotic structure.

Rainbow Dash had already moved on, passing out of the main town area. “C’mon already!” she called. Swallowing your retort, you continued on.

“If you hadn’t already noticed, this is the park,” said Rainbow Dash as you caught up to her. There were several benches strewn about on a freshly cut expanse of grassy hill. “Little known fact,” whispered Rainbow Dash, almost conspiratorially. “This is one of the best napping spots in Ponyville.”

You briefly glanced around, noting the layer of dew on just about everything that hadn’t yet been burned off by the Sun. “Really? I would’ve never guessed...”

Rolling her eyes at you, Dash flew up into the sky and disappeared into a passing cloud. “Who said anything about sleeping on the ground?” she called down at you.

You were slightly amused by her antics. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not a pegasus. In fact, I rather like it down here. On the ground.”

“Be there in a sec!” called Rainbow from above the clouds. You waited for her to fly down, but you didn’t see her. After a minute of waiting, you were getting impatient. You were about to shout at Rainbow Dash, but before you could, you heard her yell, “INCOMING!”

A cyan blur made a hole straight through the clouds above you, a rainbow trail following in it’s wake. It took you a second to realize that it was Rainbow Dash with her wings fully outstretched, her body tucked into the streamlined position that Pegasi acrobats and stunt flyers had adopted. And she was coming straight towards you.

Oh shi- you started to think, your arms instinctively coming up to protect yourself from the inevitable crash. Instead of being hit by a pegasus going at top speed, you were only met with rushing air. Cautiously lowering your arms, you saw Rainbow Dash landing beside you on a flat patch of grass. She shook her wings, causing all the accumulated water droplets to condense into a fine mist around her. The mist casted an ethereal rainbow around Dash’s head. An expectant smile was present on her lips.

I know she’s blatantly showing off...but by Celestia, that was incredible!

“How the hay did you do that?” you asked in astonishment. “That was awesome!”

Rainbow Dash face flushed slightly from your praise. “Just a trick I learned by accident,” said Rainbow, who was making a visible effort to be humble. It didn’t last long. “Alright, it was pretty awesome, wasn’t it?”

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” you reply honestly. “Is that your signature move?”

Rainbow Dash tossed her now wet hair to the side and folded up her wings. “My name isn’t ‘Rainbow Dash’ for nothing!”

Chuckling, you asked, “So, where to next?”

Rainbow Dash thought for a second before answering. “Well, the school’s just down the road, so I’d say there.”

“Sounds good.”

A short walk later, you and Rainbow came within eyesight of your new high school.

"This is it! Ponyville High School. Whaddaya think?" asked Rainbow Dash as you walked along the sidewalk bordering the school.

You stared at the old, brick school."It...well, it looks like a school. Can't say much more without being inside..." you replied.

Dash rolled her eyes at you. "Yeah, yeah. Being a smart-ass is my job, not yours."

"Whatever you say, Dash," you replied as earnestly as you could manage. She glared at you for a few seconds. You returned it with the cheesiest smile you possessed.

"Well...that's pretty much Ponyville in a nutshell of for ya," said Rainbow Dash. "Any questions?"

Why did you take time out of your Saturday to show the new kid around? Instead, you asked, "Yeah. Where can we go for lunch? I'm starving." Your statement was punctuated by a stomach growling. It took you a second to realize that it came from Rainbow Dash.

"Good call, newbie. Up for some corn dogs and hay fries? I know the best spot..."

"Sounds good, Rainbow," you replied as you followed Dash, who had already started to walk away. Okay, lunch is the last straw. That's it, I've got to find out, you thought.

"I've been meaning to ask," you said as you caught up to her. "Why are you doing this?"

Dash gave you the most adorably innocent expression. "Doing what?"

You put your head in your hand. "This!" You motioned with your free hand around you. "Showing me around town, practically being my tour guide and now lunch! You don't even know me!"

You saw Rainbow Dash's wings extend and flutter in a strange motion. Pegasi and their weird wing movements, you thought. Makes me wish I had read ‘Mood Wings’...

"What? You don't believe me when I said that I thought you were a cool guy?" she asked with a nervous chuckle.

You gave her a bemused look.

"I...I can't tell you why. I promised not to..." admitted Rainbow Dash. "I'd like to tell you, but I just can't." Sighing, she said, "Please don't hate me for dragging you around town..."

You were surprised by this turn of events, so you tapped Rainbow on the shoulder to get her to stop. "I'm not angry, nor do I hate you. I'm just curious as to why you just appeared out of nowhere with the hangout offer. If you don't want to tell me, that's fine." I'll figure it out sooner or later.

She looked at you suspiciously. "Are you sure? I'd be pretty annoyed if someone did what I did to you."

You waved her guilt aside. "I already said it's fine. Now, are you going to just stand there, or are you going to show me where the bloody restaurant is?"

Her posture straightening, Rainbow Dash cracked a smile and continued walking down the sidewalk. You followed with a smile of your own, glad that you didn't scare off your first potential friend.

*********

Five minutes later, you and Rainbow Dash were sitting in a cozy little booth, awaiting your food. Dash had lead you to an old-fashioned diner called 'The Sticky Wicket' that was situated along one of the many side roads of Ponyville. You didn't know what a 'wicket' was, but you liked the atmosphere of the place.

"So," said Rainbow Dash, knocking you out of your ponderings. "How do ya like Ponyville so far?"

You grinned at her from across the table. "It's...interesting, to say the least. I've only met like, four people here, but it already seems to be a great place to live." You paused for a moment, wondering if you should ask a question that had been bothering you ever since last night. You decided to go through with it.

"When I talked to Pinkie last night, her attitude completely changed when she looked at my face. She seemed...I don't know, excited? Do you have any idea why?"

Rainbow Dash burst out laughing, causing some disapproving stares to be thrown her way from some of the older customers. You nervously mouth 'Sorry' to them. Wiping tears from her eyes, Rainbow Dash managed to say, "Oh...oh my. You are in for a BIG surprise on Monday!"

"What?! What does that mean?!" you demanded.

"Sorry, can't say. Everypony new has to go through it. It's practically tradition," explained Rainbow Dash as she stifled her laughs.

Great. I can already tell that Monday is going to be just freaking stellar.

Your grim thoughts of the future were interrupted by a waitress approaching your booth holding two plates of food. "Here you go! Two corndogs with a side of hay fries. You kids enjoy!"

"Thank you," you said politely.

Not wanting to be outdone, Rainbow Dash said, "Thank you very much." The waitress smiled and walked away, but not before giving you a wink.

What the hay does that mean?!

Grumbling to yourself about being unable to understand females, you delved into the food in front of you. Across the table, Rainbow Dash was doing the same. You were going to ask her what was next on the agenda, but before you could, you heard a loud, grating voice yell, "Hey look! It's Rainbow Crash! And she's got a coltfriend!"

You look over at Rainbow Dash who put her head in her hands. "Not them again..." you heard her groan.

"Are they going to be a problem?" you asked quietly.

"They never freakin' leave me alone!" she whispered back to you.

Second day here and the jerks are already showing up, you thought amiably. You glanced out of the corner of your eye towards the three Pegasi walking towards your booth from down the aisle. "Who's your coltfriend, Rainbow Crash?" asked the leader of the delinquents.

"He's not my coltfriend! Leave me alone!" Dash responded.

The three Pegasi just stood there, grinning like idiots. You decided to take matters into your own hands.

"I'm going to ask nicely. Go away."

The pegasus on the right, his colour a dull brown and his hair falling over his face, snorted. "We got a tough guy over here. Whaddaya gonna do about it?"

You grinned a smile that wouldn't look out of place on a timberwolf. "I'm not going to do anything," you said as you stood up to your full height, which towered over the three idiots. "You three are going to leave before I get angry. Trust me: you won't like me when I'm angry."

As dull as they were, they were still bright enough to know when to quit. Backing away, the ringleader taunted you as they filed out the door. "Alright, you win this round! You better watch your back, though! We’ll be keeping an eye on you!” Turning to his comrades, he said, “Come on, bronies!"

What the hay? He sounds like a clichéd Batmane villain...

Shaking your head, you sat back down into the booth. You felt a bit uneasy when you noticed that everyone, including Rainbow Dash, was staring at you.

"Umm. Sorry about that, folks. Carry on with what you were doing..." you said, embarrassed from all the attention. You heard a few chuckles come from some of the members of your audience which broke the tension that you hadn't realized was there. Everypony in the diner went back to what they were doing before the brief showdown. As you briefly glanced from face to face, you were given nods and smiles.

By Celestia, this has been a strange day already, you thought. You turned your attention to Rainbow Dash, who was staring at you, her mouth agape.

"Alright, can you please stop that?" you asked. "Why is everypony acting like this?"

Rainbow Dash shook her head in what you assumed to be disbelief. "You...you actually stood up for me..."

You were confused. "I don't understand. I only did what a friend should do."

Her voice grew quiet as she spoke again. "Nopony ever stands up for me. I'm always the one to stand up for somepony else..."

"Well, at least I was here to do the job that nopony else would do, eh?" you said, trying to break Dash out of her stupor. Thankfully, it worked. Pushing the hair out of her eyes, she returned to her plate as you returned to yours.

"...Thanks."

You finished chewing before answering. "Don't mention it. Think of it as the first part in me paying you back for showing me around town."

Rainbow Dash finished her plate before asking, "What's part two?"

Instead of answering, you waved over the waitress that had served you the food. "Cheque, please," you said as she came within hearing distance.

"Will that be cash or credit, young man?"

"Cash," you respond.

The waitress handed you the cheque. After eyeing the total, you pulled out a twenty bit bill and said, "Keep the change."

Giving you another wide smile, the waitress said to you, "Thank you kindly, young man." She turned and addressed Rainbow Dash. "You be nice to him, Rainbow. He's a keeper!" she said before walking away.

Blushing, Rainbow Dash said, "C'mon, let's get out of here. I'm about to die of embarrassment..."

You motioned for her to go first, a grin plastered on your muzzle. Interesting day indeed...

As you both exited the diner and started to walk down the street, you said with a sly smile, "Hey, guess what? Apparently I'm a keeper!"

Rainbow Dash punched you in the arm without looking at you. Ow! She hits hard for a pegasus! "Alright, never mind. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to respond, but she was interrupted by someone yelling from across the street.

"Darling! How lovely to see you! Who's your new friend?"

Now it was your turn to put your head in your hands. Oh Celestia, why now?! "Hi, mom. This is Rainbow Dash," you motioned towards Dash with one of your hands. Rainbow gave a weak wave in reply.

"I'm so glad that you've already made a friend, sweetie!" your mother exclaimed. She was wearing what appeared to be a new dress, but you weren't entirely sure. The bright yellow was starting to give you a headache and she had another bag of who-knew-what in her left hand. "Are you going to need a ride home, darling? I can call the li-"

"No-no-no," you replied quickly, cutting off your mother before she could ruin your social life before it had even begun. "I'll be fine with walking."

"Alright then! Bye sweetie!" called your mom as she walked down the sidewalk away from you and Rainbow Dash.

"Goodbye, mother." You pinched the bridge of your nose. That was too close... "Sorry about that," you said to the blue pegasus beside you.

"It's fine." She seemed to think for a moment before smiling. "I just realized that we're now even in embarrassing situations."

"I’m sorry, I thought that standing up for someone in a diner on your second day while everyone stares at you awkwardly is more embarrassing than running into your mom with a girl," you replied. Rainbow Dash gave you yet another death glare. You shuffled your feet, unsure of where to go from here. Deciding to change the topic, you said, "Err, thanks for showing me around today. You made it a lot less painful than it could have been."

"Thanks for standing up to those jerks at the diner. They've been bothering me ever since I crashed during flight practice. And...thanksforbuyingmelunch." She looked away and said the last sentence much quieter and faster than the others.

"It was my pleasure." You scratched the back of your neck. "Sorry, I'm really bad at saying goodbye. So...goodbye!" you said as you turned tail and started to walk towards your house.

"Wait! Do you have a phone?" called Dash. You scoffed inwardly. Do I have a phone...

"Yes, I have a phone. Why, does Dashie want my number?" you teased.

She growled at you. Literally growled at you. "Don't make this any harder than it needs to be!"

"That's what she sai-" you started to say, but stopped abruptly when you noticed the death glare that Rainbow Dash was giving you. "Err, never mind. Here, pass me your phone and I'll put my number in."

Rainbow handed you her phone, one of the new Cyborg variants that you've heard about. You entered in your name and number, then handed it back to Rainbow Dash. "Thanks," she said as she tucked the phone back into her hoodie.

"No problem. See you later!" you called as you continued the walk to your house.

***************************************************************

When you arrived at your house, you decided to stay in your bedroom for the rest of the afternoon, only coming out for dinner. Your excuse was that your required socializing was already done for the day. You ended up reading more of the library book that you had rented, along with setting up your gaming console and computer.

Everything's already unpacked, they said. It's all connected properly, they said, you thought agitatedly as you plugged the audio and video input wires into your television. The movers obviously had no technological experience whatsoever. Probably a bunch of unicorn movers that don't know the difference between a coffee maker and a microwave.

Your computer was set up even worse. It took you the better part of an hour to reattach the cables into their rightful places and set up the stereo system to your preferences.

You ended up going to bed early, as exhausted as you were from the fit of insomnia that had hit you the previous night. This night, however, you had no trouble falling asleep.

*******************************************************************

I've got you now, you thought as your target appeared through your scope. You had been following your quarry for what felt like hours through dense foliage and urban wastelands alike. Your patience had finally paid off: your target was unaware that you had its head in your sights.

You quickly glance over at the target's statistics. Over 800 hooves away. 7 miles per hour wind coming in from the Northeast. You adjusted your sight to compensate for the drop and wind resistance. You held your breath, feeling your heartbeat pumping through your ears. Exhaling, you said, "'Nighty night, cupcake," as you pulled the trigger.

Your aim was true, the bullet hitting your target in the back of their head. The spray of red mist was accompanied by the shockwave generated by the supersonic round. Your target flew forwards, blood spewing from where its head used to be.

"How the hay do you keep doing that?! There's no way you can have aim that perfect!" screamed Rainbow Dash over the headset, which brought you back to reality. You leaned back into your comfy chair and placed your controller in its designated sleeve on the side of the chair, it's surface coated in sweat from hours of intense gaming.

"Patience, Dash. Patience," you replied. "Pony Warfare 3 is called a 'tactical shooter' for a reason, y'know. You can't just run around without a sniper putting a bullet in your head from a mile away."

"That's thirteen times in a row! Are you using aimbot or something?"

"No, I'm just a really good sniper. Practice makes perfect," you replied, trying to keep the smugness out of your tone.

You heard a growl come from the headset. "Alright, you have to teach me how to be that good!"

You pushed the microphone away from your mouth and sighed. You weren't even all that good at Pony Warfare 3: Rainbow Dash was just really bad at it. Readjusting the microphone, you said, "No promises." You glanced at your watch. 11:12pm. "Sorry Dash, it's getting late. I'm going to go to bed."

"C'mon, one more match! Please!" begged Rainbow over the headset.

"That's what you said last game," you replied. "And the one before that. I'm putting my hoof down this time. You should go to bed too, Dash. We have school tomorrow, remember?"

You heard a rush of static, which you presumed was Rainbow sighing. "Alright, you got a point. Don't want to miss first block again, I guess. See ya tomorrow!"

"See you at school," you replied as stood up and powered down your X-Station. You disentangled the headset from around your ear and placed it next to your stack of games. You left your bedroom and began the descent to the living room. Did I do anything productive today? you asked yourself as you walked down the steps.

Let's see: Woke up at noon, finished 'Red Thrush Private School', got a text from Dash asking if I had an X-Station...nope, nothing productive at all.

A grin came to your face as you thought a bit more on the topic. Although...that is what Sundays are for, right?

"Somepony's in a good mood tonight," your father said. "Excited for school, kiddo?"

Your dad knocked you out of your reverie, making you notice that you were standing in the doorway to the living room. You weren't sure how long you had been standing there for, but you hoped it wasn't for too long. "You could say that," you replied. "I came down to say goodnight. 'Night mom, 'Night dad."

"Goodnight, son."

"Goodnight, sweetie. Have fun at school tomorrow!"

"I will." I hope.

With the nights salutations given, you ascended the staircase once more, the fluffiness of the carpet warming your otherwise bare hooves. You brushed your teeth, grateful for the fact that you had your own bathroom. Wearing nothing but your underwear, you crawled into bed. You felt your eyelids grow heavy as you stared at the ceiling, thinking about tomorrow.

I really hope Pinkie's 'surprise' doesn’t embarrass the crap outta me, you thought as your eyelids closed of their own accord. You were asleep in moments.

Author's Note: A HUGE thank you to everyone that caused Anthropomorphism to explode with popularity like it did. That was all you guys, not me. As always, if you have any questions, either ask in a comment or send me a PM. I won't bite, I promise. Keep them reviews coming, too! I can only become a better writer if you guys tell me when I screw up!

And a special thanks to TheDaringDone for pre-reading/editing for me. He is a boss.

-DivideByZero

Chapter Three: New Friends, New Beginnings: Part One

Anthropomorphism

Chapter Three: New Friends, New Beginnings: Part One

Edited by: TheDaringDone

You were lulled awake by the soft sounds of a violin. Forcing your eyes open, you lazily swatted the 'Off' button on your alarm clock. Sitting up in your bed, you yawned and stretched.

You wearily made your way to the dresser and started rummaging through the drawers, picking out your apparel for your first day at a new school. Jeans, plain black T-shirt, grey blazer...

After getting dressed, you dug out your backpack and filled it with all of your school supplies. With the backpack slung over your shoulder, you made your way downstairs for breakfast, the smell of scrambled eggs with cheese permeating the air along with hints of coffee. Breakfast of champions...

You found your way to the kitchen where your mom was already sitting and eating. She was wearing her dark blue robe, the sleeves nearly falling into her food as she waved you over. You saw a plate of steaming scrambled eggs and a cup of coffee already waiting for you on the table. Your mom looked up from her plate and smiled.

"Good morning, sweetie! Ready for your first day at school?" she said cheerfully.

You sighed as you sat down beside your mom. "It's not my first day at school, it's my first day at a new school. I'm not a foal anymore, mother."

Your mother smiled and pinched your cheek. "You'll always be mommy's little colt to me, sweetie."

Ugh. "Yes, mother," you forced yourself to reply as you took the first bite of your breakfast. Damn, these eggs are good! you thought. You dug into the eggs with abandon, devouring them like the hungry teenager you were. Before you knew it, you had eaten the whole plate without touching your coffee. After taking a swig, you asked, "Is dad still sleeping?"

Your mother nodded. "He had a bunch of important phone calls that kept him up last night. He told me to wish you well on your first day at your new school," she said with a smile, putting extra emphasis on the word 'new'.

"I'll try," you replied after you finished off your coffee. You checked your watch. 8:02am. Plenty of time to get my locker and my schedule. "Alright, I'm heading to school now," you said as you shouldered the backpack that you had left on the floor.

"Do you want a ride, sweetie? I can call the chauffeur..."

Do you want to destroy your social life on your first day, sweetie? No thank you, mother, you thought. Instead, you simply said, "No thanks, mom. I'd rather walk. I need the exercise, anyway."

"Okay, darling. Have fun!"

*****************

You left your house, the brisk October wind cutting into your exposed face while causing some strands of your hair to whip around. Tucking your chin in, you braved the wind and started walking towards your new school.

As you walked, you acutely noticed that the forest surrounding the gravel path that you walked upon felt...off. On Saturday, you didn't feel anything from the dark woods. Today though, with the Sun not fully up, the forest gave off a haunted and malevolent aura that sent chills down your spine. It felt as if the almost leafless branches were reaching towards you, intent on squeezing the life out of you.

It's nothing to be afraid of, you thought to yourself as you increased your pace. All forest's look creepy and menacing before the Sun is fully risen, right?

You tried to find comfort in your words, but the omnipresent feeling of being watched lingered. This is ridiculous, you thought as you forced yourself to slow down. There are plenty of reasons to be scared of something, but this is ridiculous. It's just a forest, for Celestia's sake. Look, there's the road. Just a few more seconds of walking and I'll be-

You thoughts stopped dead in their tracks and you froze on the spot as you heard a deep, menacing growl come from the forest on your right.

"Shitshitshitnononono!" you yelled as your legs moved on their own accord, sprinting towards the protection of the town. When you hit the edge of the road, you stole a glance behind you, sure that some form of terrifying creature was hot on your tail. Instead, the only movement was a few leaves tumbling in the wind.

"What the f-" you started to say, but stopped when you heard a chorus of riotous laughter coming from up the gravel pathway. Fuming, you thought, You gotta be kidding me! Who in their right mind does that to an innocent passerby? Unless...

You quickly put the facts together. Just moved here, first day at school...yep, they're definitely pranking the new kid.

You turned and stormed back up the hill to give the proprietors a piece of your mind. By the time you got back up however, there was no sign that anypony had been hiding in the forest. Son of a...bah! There goes my early day start. I'll be lucky if I get my locker and schedule before the bell rings.

Grumbling to yourself, you continued on your way to Ponyville High School.

******************

Aside from a few strange glances from the ponies in the immediate vicinity when you ran screaming down the hill, the rest of your walk was uneventful. You were constantly looking over your shoulder, expecting somepony to be following you, but nopony was.

You made it to the school a whole five minutes before the first bell was supposed to ring. It looked a lot bigger a couple of days ago, you thought as you walked up the steps to the main entrance. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. How many high school aged ponies could there be in a town this small, anyway?

Opening the door, you felt a rush of warm air greet you, pushing away the chill that had crept up on you. Rubbing your hands together to get the blood circulating, you walked over to the doorway that had a plaque with the word 'OFFICE' above it. Thankfully, the doorway was high enough that you didn't bash your skull open when you walked through.

You briefly looked around, noticing the rather drab, grey walls. There was a tan coloured earth pony wearing a gray top with some sort of jacket draped on her chair. She had short, olive green hair and she was sitting behind the only desk. She had a phone to her ear, so you sat down in one of the red chairs and waited patiently for the call to be over. You couldn't help overhearing the secretary's half of the conversation, though.

"Why won't Cloudchaser be able to make it to school today?"

You heard a mumbled response from the phone.

"Sick again? Well, tell her to get well soon. We wouldn't want her to miss another week of school, would we?"

More mumbling.

"Alright. Thanks for letting us know!" finished the secretary with forced cheeriness. Sighing, she turned to face you. "Can I help you?" she asked with a business-like efficiency, her eyes not leaving the desk.

Slightly unnerved, you replied, "Err, yes. I just moved to Ponyville and I-"

When the secretary looked up at you, her eyes widened. "Oh! You must be Valencia's son!" she said with interest, all traces of her bored and business like tone vanishing without a trace.

Surprised by her sudden mood change, you asked, "You know my mom?"

She laughed. "Only recently. We met at Carousel Boutique, I believe. She told me all about you."

You shuffled your feet uncomfortably. "Good things, I hope." You don't waste any time at all, do you mother?

The secretary laughed and said, "Yep, you're exactly how she described you. I take it that you're here for your class schedule and locker combination?"

You were a bit surprised to find that it was a combination lock: at your old school, you had to bring your own padlock. "Yes, but I was wondering-" you started to say, trying to figure out how your mom had described you.

"Here you go, big guy," interrupted the secretary as she handed you two pieces of paper, one with what you assumed was your class schedule and one with your locker combination. She looked at the clock on the wall and said, "I'd hurry to your first class if I were you. The first bell should be ringing-"

*BZZZZZZZZ*

"...shortly," finished the secretary. Sighing, you thanked her and left the office, looking for your locker. As you walked down the hallway looking for the lockers, you saw a few ponies walking down the halls, some alone and some in small groups.

One of the ponies you passed, a pegasus with yellow fur and a light pink mane, looked at you with undisguised fear. When you met her gaze, she hid behind her hair and seemed to shrink into her woolen yellow sweater. Before you could ask her where the lockers were, she hurried along in the opposite direction.

"I'm not that scary, am I?" you muttered to yourself as you continued to search for your locker. After turning the corner, you caught sight of a row of dull orange lockers. Finally...

You followed the lockers, your eyes scanning over the numbers. Sixty-four...sixty-five...here we are, locker sixty-six. Now, how do I open this bloody thing?

You looked down at the piece of paper that had your combo written on it. It read: 'Turn the dial clockwise three times and stop at the first number. Next, turn the dial counter-clockwise, passing the second number once and stopping on it the second time. Finally, turn the dial clockwise to the last number.'

Sounds easy enough, you reasoned. You grabbed the lock and tried to turn it to the right, but you couldn’t manage to get a good grip on it. Frowning, you tried again, this time putting more pressure on your grip. Your hand once again slipped off, hardly moving the lock.

You turned your hand over and noticed a slight sheen on your palm. Now sufficiently suspicious, you leaned over and inspected the lock. It was coated with a thin layer of the same oily substance. Really?! First day here and somepony's already screwing with me?! you thought angrily. I really hope Pinkie Pie's 'surprise' isn't anything like this...

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you went to the water fountain that was conveniently across the hall. You washed off your hand as best you could, but the cold water didn't help remove the oily substance from your hand. Grudgingly, you wiped your hand on your pant leg, hoping that nopony would notice the slight yellow stain.

You pulled out your schedule and found that your first block was Calculus, in room 103. You didn't mind math; in fact, you were rather good at it. The only problem was that you had no idea where the classroom was. Deciding that aimlessly wandering the halls wouldn't get you anywhere, you asked a passing pegasus for directions.

"Excuse me, do you know where room one-oh-three is?" you asked the charcoal grey pegasus, who was wearing a uniform of a kind that you haven't seen before.

The pegasus stopped for a moment. "You're the new kid, aren't ya?"

You snorted. "What gave it away?"

He laughed, his steel-blue and off-white striped fauxhawk swaying slightly. "I like you, new guy. I do happen to know where the Calculus room is. In fact, I'm heading there now. You can tag along if you want..." he trailed off, evidently asking you for your name. You told him.

"Hmm," said the pegasus. "I think I'll stick to calling you new kid for now. My name's Thunderlane, but you can call me Thunder."

"Nice to meet you, Thunder," you said as you shifted your backpack's weight, following the pegasus. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted a small group of girls your age walking past looking at you funny. You ignored them, as you were trying to memorize the path from your locker to the classroom.

After walking in silence for about a minute, Thunderlane slowed down and said, "Here we are. I'm sure you'll like Mr. Divide. He's one of the best teachers in the school, in my opinion."

You chuckled inwardly. Mr. Divide! Definitely a math teacher name, you thought as Thunder opened the door to the classroom and walked in, with you following in step. As you crossed the threshold from hallway to classroom, the bell rang. Just in time.

You looked around for a seat, wary of the multiple pairs of eyes watching you. You caught a glimpse of Twilight Sparkle sitting alone, wearing the traditional schoolgirl attire of a violet skirt and button up blouse. There were books piled up high on her desk. She gave you a smile and a small wave when she noticed you. Wait, how is she in my math class? She's got to be at least a year younger than me...

Putting that thought aside for now, you smiled back as you looked for a desk to sit at. As your eyes trailed over the classroom occupants, you realized something: the majority of the students were girls. In fact, aside from you and Thunder, the only other male in the class was the teacher. Weird, you thought. It's probably just this class, though. Now, where can I sit?

Thunderlane had already taken a seat at the back of the classroom, and the only other available desk was next to him. Mentally shrugging, you sat next to the burly pegasus. As you took your seat, the black business suit wearing teacher, a unicorn with a golden brown coat and short-cut maroon hair, got up from his desk and addressed the class.

"Good morning, class! Glad to see everypony this fine Monday morning," said the teacher with a roll of his eyes. He looked to be around thirty-five and he had a slight accent, one that you hadn't heard before. It was similar to a Manehattan one, but different. You heard several groans come from your fellow students as they heard the word 'Monday'. Apparently, the teacher heard them too.

"Glad to see that we're on the same page. Mondays suck."

Laughter.

The unicorn waited for the class to become quiet before speaking again. "I see that you took it upon yourself to start corrupting the new student with your tardiness, Thunderlane,” he said with a grin, causing more muffled laughs. “Welcome to Calculus Eleven. I'm your teacher, Mr. Divide," continued the unicorn, his words directed at you.

"Thanks," you replied. "Sorry for almost being late. I had trouble finding the classroom."

"Yeah, you'd probably still be walking in circles if it weren't for me," said Thunderlane.

Mr. Divide raised his eyebrow. "Thunderlane...helping somepony else? I guess there's a first for everything..." trailed off the teacher, eliciting more giggles from the students and a grimace from Thunderlane.

Smirking, the teacher started to write several equations on the board, using both his hand and telekinesis. You knew that you had to concentrate carefully when you used levitation, but Mr. Divide was writing two completely different questions at once with little to no effort. When he was done, he stepped back and said, "Complete those two questions, then start on assignment number twelve in your workbooks. If you require assistance, you know where my desk is. "

Workbook? Convenient...except that I don't have one.

"Mr. Divide?" you asked.

"Yes?"

"I don't have a work-" you started to say, but stopped when a giant book wafted over to you, dropping on your desk with a muted thump. "Never mind."

You opened up your backpack and pulled out a pencil and a sheet of paper for the whiteboard equations. You copied down the first question and started to work on it.

Seven minutes later, you stared at what you had written.

This is going to be a long class... you thought as you sighed and started on the next one.

****************************************************************

"Remember: questions one through six of assignment twelve are homework!" announced Mr. Divide as everyone started to pack up, as the bell was about to ring. You had just finished question seven, so you were in the clear for math homework.

The bell rang a few seconds after, announcing the end of your prison that was the sixty-five minute class of calculus equations. It seemed that you weren't the only one who felt that way, as your fellow classmates rushed out the door as quickly as they could. You packed your belongings slowly, waiting for the crowd to clear so that you could talk to Twilight and ask her the question that had been bothering you.

Your patience was rewarded as the students filed out of the classroom, leaving it empty save for you, Twilight, and the teacher. "Hey Twilight," you asked. "What grade are you in?"

"Oh! I'm a sophomore," she replied as she used her magic to place all of her books in the book bag that she had around her shoulder. "I suppose that you're wondering what I'm doing in a grade eleven class, right?"

You nodded, as she took the words right out of your mouth.

"Well...I was getting bored in the Foundations of Math and Pre-Calculus class, so they bumped me up to real calculus! It's a lot more fun and challenging!" said Twilight enthusiastically.

You blinked a few times, dumbfounded. "You think that...math is fun?!"

A light blush came to her face. Just as she was about to respond, the teacher cut in.

"Will you two foals get out already? It's hard enough marking these tests without you two lovebirds chatting it up over there!" said Mr. Divide from across the room without looking up from his desk.

An awkward silence coalesced between you and Twilight from the teacher's words. It was broken when he started laughing. "I'm kidding! Man, you kids are easy to embarrass."

Her face red, Twilight finished packing her book-bag without another word to you. As she was about to leave the classroom, she said to the teacher, "See you in fourth block, Mr. Divide."

"Indeed you will, Ms. Sparkle," he replied, even though Twilight was already making her way down the hall.

Sighing, you shouldered your backpack once again. "See ya tomorrow, Mr. Divide," you said as you left the class.

You heard him respond with, "Cheerio!"

Smiling, you pulled out your schedule out of your pocket as you walked down the hall. Holding it up, you read what your next block was. You blinked, then you read it again. Drama?! I didn't sign up for Drama! What the hell?!

Fuming, you started to walk back towards the office with the intent on correcting the obvious mistake. When you were half way there, you stopped, abruptly realizing something.

What am I going to do? Tell them to put me in a different class? Order them to put me in a different class? Act like a snobbish brat until I get my way? Sighing, you turned around and started to walk back towards where you thought the classroom would be. I'm not going to act like a spoiled rich kid, you told yourself. I'm going to deal with the situation like a stallion: suck it up.

You unfolded the schedule again to find out what room your drama class was in. 'Theatre room'. Fair enough.

You adjusted your backpack and started walking down the hallway, looking for the theatre. After only a minute of searching, you spotted a double-door entrance with the word 'AUDITORIUM' painted above it. This must be it, you thought. The level of conversation that you heard through the doors supported your guess.

You opened the doors and took a second to look around, your eyes adjusting to the dimly lit interior. The students were sprawled out along the rows of black, cushioned seats chatting noisily with one another. You noticed that the theatre looked well kept, albeit tiny. The one at your previous school was big enough to hold all sixteen hundred students, while this one looked to hold a maximum of one hundred and fifty.

I guess everypony's just waiting for the teacher, you thought as you took a seat in an empty row in the middle section of the theatre. You sat there drumming your fingers on your leg, waiting for the bell to ring. When it did, the teacher was nowhere to be seen. The students carried on their conversations like nothing was amiss. Confused, you cleared your throat to get the attention of the three girls that were sitting two rows ahead of you.

"Excuse me," you said when you had their attention. "Where's the teacher?"

Two of the girls looked at you for a couple of seconds before turning back to each other, continuing to talk, but in hushed tones. The third one on the right, an earth pony with raspberry coloured hair and very pale yellow fur, giggled. "You must be new to the class. I'm Roseluck, but everypony calls me Rose. What's your name?"

You told her your name, to which she replied, "That's an interesting name. Did you just move here?"

You nodded. Having still no answer to your question, you asked, "So, where's the teacher? This is drama, right?"

Smiling, Rose opened her mouth to reply, but whatever she was about to say stopped in her throat when the double doors burst open and an earth pony with fur the colour of plums staggered through the entrance. You guessed that she was about thirty years old, but she could've been older or younger, as you weren't the best at guessing other ponies ages. You winced as your eyes beheld her neon orange cardigan, along with a lime green skirt.

I don't have any fashion sense, but even I know that those colours don't go together, you thought as the teacher continued along the aisle, her mulberry coloured hair in disarray. When she passed you, she stopped, her hand on her chin, as if she was pondering something.

"Have I *hic* seen you before?" she asked, squinting at you.

"N-no," you replied. "It's my first day here."

She seemed to perk up a little upon hearing that. "Oh! So you're my new *hic* student! I'm Berry *hic* Punch, and I'm your drama teach-*hic* teacher," slurred Berry Punch, her cheeks flushed.

She's...she's drunk!

"Uhh, n-nice to meet you, Ms. Punch," you said with as much politeness as you could muster, as you were unable to believe that the teacher would have the audacity to show up to class in such a state. After your greeting was given, Berry Punch steadied herself by putting a hand against a nearby wall and addressed the now silent class.

"Sorry for being *hic* late everypony. You all *hic* know what to *hic* do! I'll be in my office if anypony *hic* needs me," she said an octave higher than she needed to. A collective "Yes, Ms. Punch," reverberated throughout the amphitheatre.

You watched the tipsy pony stumble down the steps and bring her key up to unlock the door to a small room off to the side. It took her a couple of tries, but she eventually managed, almost falling into the room as it opened. When you heard the door click, the silence of the theatre was broken by all of the students continuing their conversations as if nothing had happened.

You sat there for a few seconds, unable to comprehend what had just occurred. Turning back to Roseluck, you asked, "What the hay just happened?"

She shook her head slowly, a look of pity on her face. "That was Berry Punch, our drama teacher. Well, supposed drama teacher. She comes to class every day while hammered and tells us to do 'the usual'. We don't even know what that is; she hasn't taught us anything!"

You filed away that information for later use. "So Ms. Punch comes to class every day drunk and everypony just sits around and talks?" you asked.

The unicorn sitting to Rose's left answered you. "Well, if you have any work that you need to do, that gets done first. But yeah, we pretty much sit around and talk. It's basically a free block."

How in Tartarus has this gone under the radar for so long? you asked yourself. "Why hasn't anypony done anything?"

Your question was met by several blank stares. Sighing, you rephrased your question. "Why hasn't she been fired for misconduct? Being drunk on the job while she's supposed to be supervising in a public establishment isn't exactly...tolerated," you explained.

"Well...none of the students have actually told on her, if that's what you mean," supplied Roseluck. After seeing the look of disbelief on your face, she said, "We don't want her to get in trouble...she's a nice teacher, even if she is always a bit tipsy."

It's...it’s not the right thing to do, not by our society...but...it’s the kind thing to do. After a few moments of careful deliberation, you finally decided, Hopefully Berry Punch can sort out her alcohol issues by herself.

After a pause in the conversation, you simply nodded and grabbed your math workbook, seeing as you had time to spare and that the questions you hadn't done would inevitably be assigned tomorrow. The three ponies in the row ahead of you went back to their conversation as you continued working on your assigned calculus equations.

***********************

Hmm. If I call that value 'h', then the area of the rectangle with base 'x' and height gives the speed, distance divided by time, a constant-

"Hel-lo?!"

Rose's light voice snapped you out of your math-induced stupor, causing you to blink your eyes owlishly and look up from your workbook at the earth pony who was standing in the aisle beside your seat. "Oh, uhh, y-yes?" you stammered.

Roseluck smiled and said, "The bell rang almost a minute ago. Thought I'd give you a heads up, since you were so engrossed in whatever it is you're doing.”

"Thanks for telling me," you replied as you started packing away your stuff. "I get carried away sometimes."

"No need to thank me! Just helping a fellow student, that's all!" said Roseluck as she walked away.

Ugh, you thought as you packed away the last of your writing supplies and started to walk out of the theatre. Too much math for one day...well, at least I already did most, if not all of tomorrow's work. Hmm, maybe I should go to the library after school and get another book to read in class. I wonder-

"Pardon my interest, but are you new here?" asked a feminine voice from behind you that cut off your thoughts.

"Yeah, this is my first day here," you replied before turning around. "My family just moved here from-" you continued to say, but the words died in your throat when you looked upon the owner of the voice.

Oh sweet, sweet Celestia...

She was a unicorn, her coat the colour of freshly fallen snow, while her meticulously styled mane was a deep, dark indigo. A secretive smile played across her plump lips, and her bottomless, azure eyes seemed to pull you into their depths. She was wearing what you thought was a stylish blouse, the deep indigo vainly attempting to match the same shade of her hair. The wide neckline showed more skin that you thought the dress code could allow. An intricate, swirling pattern drew more attention to the large roundness that was already hinted at by the neckline. Am I imagining this? you thought, unable to believe that such physical perfection was possible.

Your gaze continued its descent, scanning over the luscious curves of her jean-covered thighs. That ass... However, you quickly realized that jeans wouldn't have flaunted her figure as well as they did. What type of pants is she wearing? you asked yourself. You thought back to your old school and what fashions were popular there. Wait, are those spandex leggings made to look like jeans? Her curvy figure made you think 'yes'. You wracked your brain, trying to remember what they were called.

Jeggings! you thought as it finally hit you. You wished you could personally thank the pony that had invented jeggings for the gift that been bestowed upon your eyes. I wish I could see what her cutie mark looks like, you thought without shame.

"Oh, do tell where you're from! I just adore listening to tales from other cities!" said the beautiful girl, causing you to blink repeatedly and look back up to her face. She had a faintly amused expression.

"O-oh, o-okay. I'm f-from..." you started to say again, but your mouth just didn't seem to want to respond to your neural commands. Why is this so difficult?! you pleaded with yourself. Just tell her where you're from!

"...T-trottawa. I'm from Trottawa," you managed to say.

Her eyes seemed to light up at the mention of your hometown. "You're from Trottawa? Oh, is it really as cold as they say up there? I heard that snow falls year round there, even with the weather stations running at full capacity. Is that true?"

"Err, n-not really. It's a bit colder overall, but it doesn't snow all year," you explained. I wonder where she heard that from...

"Wait a minute..." she said whilst narrowing her eyes. "Are you really from Trottawa? You don't seem to have an accent..."

Accent? "A-accent? W-why would I have an accent?"

She tilted her head slightly, as if surprised. "I thought that all the ponies from the most northern parts of Equestria had accents differing from the norm. You're telling me that you don't say 'Eh?' or pronounce certain words differently like 'aboot' instead of about and 'hoose' instead of house?"

"I think that it is a...a...um...Stereotype! Yeah, a stereotype! Like thinking everpony in Stalliongrad drinks vodka,” you explained nervously.

"I'm terribly sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, darling," apologized the white unicorn. "I'm just simply fascinated with the whole of Equestria outside of our humble little town."

You waved off her apology, by saying, "D-don't worry about it...I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." Oh Celestia, did I just ask for her name?!

"Oh, how rude of me! Here I am, asking you all sorts of silly questions and I haven't even told you my name yet! My name is Rarity, and yours?"

After telling Rarity your name, she proceeded to exclaim, "Oh, I recognize your second name! I do believe your mother came in to Carousel Boutique the other day! Her name is Valencia, right?"

Surprised, you nodded and said, "That's my mom, alright. Why were you there? Part-time job?"

"Yes, I work there from four to eight on weekdays and from noon to six on the weekend, with Sundays being my day off," explained Rarity. Why would she tell me, a new student, the specifics of where and when she worked? you thought, wondering what her ulterior motive could possibly be.

Putting the nagging feeling of suspicion aside, you were going to ask how long the recess break was but before you could, a pony wearing a frown poked her head around one of the double doors and said, "What's taking so long Rarity?! You said that you had something to-"

After a few seconds of painfully awkward silence, her frown was replaced by a mischievous smile. "Ohh, I see how it is. You take all the time you need," she said before disappearing behind the door once more. You turned back to Rarity and raised an eyebrow, wondering what that was all about.

"While it was nice chatting with you, I'm afraid I have some...unforeseen errands that I absolutely must attend to. Ta-ta for now!" she said before quickly walking out the doors. You stood there for a couple seconds, unable to wrap your mind around what had just happened yet again.

Not only do I have a drunken drama teacher to worry about, but now I have a bad feeling that I'm the target of some sort of nefarious plot. By Celestia, I hate Mondays. Shaking your head, you walked out the doors yourself and started to walk back towards your locker, thinking about how to remove whatever substance was generously lathered on your combination lock.

***********************************************************

I really hope this works, you thought as you walked towards the bathroom. You were reluctant to even enter the bathroom, but after several minutes of searching for a disposable material to remove the oily substance and finding nothing, you realized that you had to, unless you wanted to carry all of your school supplies around with you all day.

Thankfully, the bathroom was nothing like your old school's; it was well maintained and didn't smell like somepony had died in it. Strangely enough, it seemed like it was hardly used. Maybe there are a lot less guys than girls at this school, you had thought as you started pulling paper towels out of the dispenser. After grabbing what you thought was a sufficient amount, you went back to your locker and wrapped the lock in layers of paper towels. After a minute or so of vigorous cleaning, you figured that it was as good as it was going to get.

You tossed the bundle of paper towels into a nearby garbage can and proceeded to test the lock. It was still a bit slippery, but you could manage. Finally! Damn, what was the combo? You pulled out the same piece of paper and memorized your combination by repeating it in your head. 33, 3, 13. 33, 3, 13...

You followed the instructions, turning the lock to the right three times before stopping on 33. After that, you turned it to the left for one rotation before stopping on 3. You turned it one last time, stopping on the number 13, the lock undoing with a soft 'click'. Just as you started to open the locker, you thought, If whoever did this knows which locker was mine...

Your thoughts were interrupted when the locker swung open and hundreds of small, white balls started tumbling out of your locker, creating a cacophony of plinking and plonking sounds as they bounced out of your locker and into the hallway.

...then they could have done something else, you finished, stunned by the level of noise that the ping-pong balls were creating. When I get my hands on whoever did this...

It took almost thirty seconds for the balls to stop bouncing, slowly coming to a rest beside the lockers and along the hallway. I'm going to have to clean this up, aren't I? you thought miserably. Sighing, you took your backpack off and grabbed the garbage can that was nearby. At least there's nopony in the hallway, you thought as you started to pick up the ping-pong balls and toss them in the garbage. You were so focused on picking up the balls that you didn't notice that somepony was helping you clean up until your hands touched when you both made to pick up the same ping-pong ball.

The hand jerked back when you made contact with it. Startled, you stopped what you were doing and looked over at the owner of the hand. The owner was wearing what you thought was a yellow, homemade, woollen sweater and a simple pair of jeans. You quickly realized that it was the same pegasus that had practically ran away from you when you were looking for your locker. If she's afraid of me, why is she helping me?

"Uhh, hi? How long have you been helping me clean up?" you asked her. She didn't respond, opting instead to make herself look smaller. Wow. Either she's super shy, or I'm just one bad motherbucker.

You tried to coax her out of her shell by asking, "What's your name? You don't have to be shy; I won't bite..."

"F-fluttershy."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" you asked, unable to hear what she had mumbled.

"Fluttershy."

"I still can't hear you."

"M-my name is F-F-Fluttershy," she finally managed to squeak out.

You smiled, glad that you were finally able to get her name. "A pleasure to meet you, Fluttershy." You paused for a few seconds, wondering what question to ask first. You finally decided on the question that you asked before. "How long have you been helping me pick these up?" you asked while tossing a ping-pong ball up and down in your hand.

"I-I was walking down the hall and I heard a loud noise, so I-I went to see what caused it," said Fluttershy, who was now able to magically communicate properly. "When I turned around the corner, I saw all the ping-pong balls everywhere and...started helping you pick them up. The same thing happened to me on my first day here, too..."

At least I'm not the only one who had to go through this headache, you thought as you started throwing the balls away once again. "I really appreciate the help, Fluttershy. It's really nice of you to help someone without being asked."

Your compliment caused Fluttershy to blush and hide behind her long, pink hair. "T-thank y-you," she murmured as she started helping again. "J-just trying to help out somepony on their first d-day..."

**********************************************************

With Fluttershy's help, you were able to gather up and throw away the majority of the ping-pong balls before the break was over. You turned around and prepared to thank her once again, but she was already walking down the hall. When she glanced behind her and saw you looking at her, she increased her pace and disappeared around another corner. Shrugging, you walked back to your locker.

Never have I known somepony whose name is so relevant to their personality, you thought as you started emptying your backpack and placing the contents into your locker. Let's see, what's my next block? You pulled out your schedule and saw that you had social studies as your next class. Social studies? Is that like history class?

As you pondered what lay in store for you in the next block, the bell rang, denoting that your break was over. Grabbing your binder that was full of paper and writing utensils, you made your way towards room 116, your social studies class. You found the classroom in no time at all. This school isn’t so difficult to navigate after all, you thought.

After having been traumatized by your drama class and the mess that was your break, you were a bit more wary upon entering the classroom. When you opened the door and stepped in, you noticed that you were the first student to make it to class, as the only other person in the class was the teacher. She didn't notice you come in, as she was busy writing on the chalkboard, humming a tune.

Her coat was a dark magenta, while her rose pink mane was just past shoulder-length. You couldn’t help but get a good look at her shapely rear end as you walked in the door. You quietly took a single seat near the back, trying to distract yourself from the wonderfully enchanting sight that was your teacher’s backside. The room was white, quite typical when it comes to classrooms. You decided to look at some of the motivational posters, desperately trying to not look at...her.

'Aim for the moon and you'll land amongst the stars!'

'You have a right to be heard, and a responsibility to listen to others!'

'Stand up for what is right - even if you stand alone!'

Despite your best attempts, you found that your eyes kept being drawn back to your teacher. Damn...Teachers should not be allowed to be this attractive... you thought. She was wearing a long, purple skirt, and a white button up shirt. You sighed, putting your binder beneath your desk. Somehow, your teacher heard this and turned around. You almost wished she hadn’t. Her button up shirt was not buttoned nearly enough. Not nearly enough.

"Excuse me, are you my new student? I haven't seen your face before," she said, her voice practically oozing enthusiasm, her green eyes sparkling.

"Uh, yeah. That would be me," you replied, making a conscious effort to not even glance at her chest.

You weren't sure how it was possible, but her eyes seemed to light up even more. "Oh that's wonderful! 'The more students, the merrier!' is what I always say," said the teacher. "I'm Ms. Cheerilee and I hope that you have as much fun learning as I do teaching!"

I know exactly what I'd like to learn from you, your mind said. Thankfully, your mouth didn't say anything that would get you sent to the principal's office, no matter what your mind was thinking. "Yes, ma'am," was all you allowed yourself to say.

You were saved from further interrogation by other students entering the class, with Ms. Cheerilee greeting every single one by name. Once again, you noticed that the gender ratio was extremely one-sided, as you and one other unicorn were the only guys in the class. What the hell is up with the gender distribution at this school? After a quick glance around, you rectified your thoughts. Not that I'm complaining...Actually, I could get used to this...

As soon as the second bell rang, Ms. Cheerilee introduced you to the class. "Welcome back, everypony! As you may have noticed, we have a new student in our class! I hope that everypony does their best to make him feel welcome!"

Your classmates gave you various greetings and welcomes. You thought you heard someone say something about your cutie mark, causing you to blush and stare at your desk. At your old school, you didn't talk about someone else's cutie mark unless you were flirting with them profusely.

Thankfully, the teacher took everyone's attention away from you when she started explaining what the schedule for today's class was going to be. "Since we have a new student, I'm going to quickly go over what we do in a normal day of class. We start by discussing current events, followed by a brief history lesson. Seeing that we just finished our previous research project on the Crystal Empire last week, we will be starting a new one today on our town of Ponyville!"

Heh. Maybe I can find out why the male to female ratio is so unbalanced, you thought.

"So, in the last section of the class, I will be assigning new partners. You will have the remainder of the block to get to know your partner better, and to discuss which aspect of Ponyville you'd like to research," continued Ms. Cheerilee. "But now, it's time to discuss current events!"

This class doesn't seem so bad, you thought as the teacher started picking ponies with their hands up to talk about what was happening around Equestria. This doesn't seem that bad at all...

****************************************************************

You didn't contribute to the event discussion, seeing as how you have been out of touch for the last few days. You learned a couple of important things by simply sitting quietly and listening, such as a holiday called 'Nightmare Night' that was coming up. I wonder if has anything to do with the legend of Night Mare Moon, you had thought absently.

After the discussion, Miss Cheerilee gave a history lesson on the origin of Nightmare Night, which you eagerly listened to. Apparently, the holiday had started from a cult made up of Princess Luna's Night Guards. The guards were rumoured to have tried to summon her every year on the same night, October 31st, without success. One year, the leader of the cult, known only as Blackwing, had spread false rumours regarding Night Mare Moon's return in an attempt to create enough chaos and anarchy so that the spell that had locked her on the moon would weaken enough for her to actually return.

While his plan to free the Nightmare didn't work, the citizens were so fearful of her return that they dressed up as creatures of legend and myth, hoping that their disguises would protect them from her wrath. With the successful chaos that his first rumour caused, Blackwing started another one the following year, saying that everypony had to give food offerings to the Princess of the Night so that she would be appeased.

The ponies had done as Blackwing said out of fear. When Night Mare Moon failed to show up yet again, the cult disbanded. However, the citizens continued to dress in black on the same day, every year and give offerings to the fallen princess' statue. Nopony was sure who started the tradition of giving out candy on Nightmare Night, but it stuck, along with wearing costumes and giving an offering. Eventually, ponies started dressing up as creatures and monsters of the night, such as Manticores, Ghosts, and Windigoes in an attempt to appease Night Mare Moon even more. Even after Nightmare Night became an official Equestrian holiday, ponies everywhere still dress up as scary monsters and give out candy, even to this day.

By the end of the lesson, you were genuinely excited for the upcoming Nightmare Night. What should I dress up as? you wondered as Ms. Cheerilee wrapped up the story.

"...And that's the history of Nightmare Night!" exclaimed the teacher. She checked the clock on the wall and said with surprise, "Oh dear, it seems that that lesson took far longer than I expected. It looks like there's only a couple of minutes left in class!" After thinking for a few moments, she continued. "Okay, here's what we're going to do: I'm going to call two ponies that are going to be partners for the research project and you two will get to know each other a little better. We'll start the research project tomorrow!"

When Miss Cheerilee announced that you didn't have to start the project until the next day, the class responded with a resounding chorus of ‘Yes!’, ‘Alright!’, and ‘Yay!’ You sat and waited for the teacher to say your name as she started calling out pairs.

Your ears perked up when you finally heard your name being called. "-will be partnered with...Fluttershy!" said Ms. Cheerilee happily. Wait, what?! Fluttershy is in the same class as me?! you thought as you looked around, trying to find where she was sitting. She hasn't said a word the entire class!

You finally spotted her sitting alone at the very front of the class. Mentally shrugging, you grabbed your binder and walked over to where Fluttershy was sitting. "Hello again, Fluttershy," you said as you sat in the empty desk beside her.

Startled, Fluttershy made a sound that you could only describe as an 'Eep!' before scrunching up into a ball, tucking her knees into her chest. Sighing, you tapped her on the shoulder and said more softly, "Fluttershy? It's me, the pony that you helped clean up all those ping-pong balls."

Speaking quietly seemed to do the trick, as Fluttershy slowly peeked out at you from behind her hair. "O-oh. H-hi," she said while unclenching her legs and sitting properly in the seat once again."W-why are you h-here?"

Smiling, you said, "Well, it appears that we're going to be partners for the next research project. Something to do with Ponyville, I think. Fortunately, we don't have to think of what we're going to do it on until tomorrow."

"O-oh, okay," she murmured. "What are we supposed to-"

*BZZZZZZZZ*

"Okay everypony, class is dismissed! I hope that you all have fun during the rest of the school day!" said Miss Cheerilee after the bell was finished ringing.

"Well, I'll see you later, Fluttershy," you said as you stood up. You heard a muffled 'Bye' as you walked away, making a conscious effort to not even look at Miss Cheerilee's backside as you strolled by.

Author's Note: Well, here you go. Just shy of 8000 words. I was originally going to make everybody wait until the chapter was done, but I figured that splitting it into two parts would make everyone happier. As always, please point out any errors that you happen to come across.

Special thanks to TheDaringDone for editing like a boss and helping me write out some of the more...err, difficult parts.

Oh, and if anyone can figure out how Applejack is going to be in the story, major props to you. I dropped two of the most subtlest hints that I could manage.

Chapter Four: New Friends, New Beginnings: Part Two

Anthropomorphism

Chapter Four: New Friends, New Beginnings: Part Two

Edited by: TheDaringDone

After leaving your social studies class, you made your way back to your locker and stuffed your binder inside, intent on grabbing some lunch from the cafeteria. Your stomach growled like a manticore, voicing its displeasure at not being fed recently.

Not long after you started walking down the hallway towards the cafeteria, you heard somepony behind you call out your name. You glanced behind you and realized that it was Rainbow Dash, who waved you over when she saw that you heard her. You smiled and turned around, glad to see another familiar face.

"Hey Dash," you said as you approached Rainbow Dash and her two friends, whom were both Pegasi.

Before Dash could open her mouth, one of her friends, who had light gold fur and turquoise hair that looked as if it was made to look like she just got out of bed, interrupted her. "So this is the pony you've been going on about all day. You're right, he is pretty h-" she said, but stopped when Dash put her hand over her mouth.

"Shut up, Rain!" Dash whispered, loud enough that you couldn't help but overhear. "Not another word! Got it?!"

'Rain' nodded, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Rainbow Dash turned back to you, blushing. She gave you the cheesiest smile that you had ever seen, along with saying, "Eh heh, yeah, uhh, I was just telling her how, uhh, high-reaching you were." This was followed by more nervous laughter.

You were surprised to see Dash so flustered. If my memory serves right, she hasn't acted like that since the diner when the waitress said...oh. After a few moments of thinking, your mind put the pieces together. Does she have a crush on me? you thought, worried how quickly your easy friendship with Rainbow Dash could end with a few wrong words.

Hmm...what if I act like I don't know that she was going to say 'hot'? Dash must think that I'm completely oblivious, if she thinks that I'd overlook an obvious lie like that. Yeah, that just might work. Heck, maybe we can forget this whole thing ever happened, you thought, trying to bestow confidence in your own hastily constructed plan. You ignored the small part of yourself that told you that it would never work, not in a million years.

"Oh, uhh, yeah. I guess I am pretty tall, aren't I?" you said, hoping that your lying abilities weren't as bad as Rainbow Dash's.

Rain gave you a look of utter confusion that seemed to say, 'You're kidding me', while Dash exhaled in relief. Thunderlane, who was the third member of their little group, raised an eyebrow. Dash turned to her friends and said, "I'll see you guys later. I promised the newbie here that I'd show him around the school at lunch."

Wait, when did she say that?

Both Rain and Thunder bid you farewell, with the former still giving you a look of 'Really?' while the latter gave you a smile that made you think that he knew something you didn't. You waved goodbye as Dash shuttled you along the hall in the same direction that you were going before she had called you over.

You could have easily broken free of her grasp, but you let Dash drag you down the hallway and into the main foyer of the school. "Okay, I think we're far enough away now," she said you both came to a stop near the cafeteria. "Thanks for acting all oblivious back there. You were acting, right?"

Horseapples. Poker face, don't fail me now...

"Acting oblivious about what?" you asked, hoping that you weren't pushing your luck.

Dash's facial emotions were conflicted, as it seemed that many were vying for control of her face at the same time. You saw relief, disappointment, anger, anxiety, and a slew of others that you couldn't even begin to fathom. She finally settled on a slightly happy, albeit remorseful, expression.

"Never mind," she finally said. "So, up for that tour of the school?"

You would've accepted, if your stomach hadn't rumbled at the point in time. Looking over at the cafeteria, you asked, "How about lunch? I haven't eaten since breakfast..."

"Actually, that's not a bad idea," agreed Rainbow Dash. You both started walking towards the back of the line-up that was waiting for their food. Smells like...macaroni and cheese!

As you waited in line, Rainbow Dash asked, "So, how's your day been so far?"

You had to think for a moment on how to answer that question. "Honestly, I've had more excitement my first day here than I'd have during an entire week at my old school," you answered. "I had a jumpscare while walking to school, somepony greased my lock and filled my locker with ping-pong balls, my drama teacher-" you stopped abruptly, realizing that you almost spilled the beans about Berry Punch.

"-Wasn't in today, so I got a free block. All in all, today's kept me on the tips of my hooves," you finished, not wanting to talk about social studies and the extremely hot teacher that had a great backside, almost as nice as Rainbow Da-

Whoa there! No! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!

Fortunately, Rainbow Dash couldn't hear your internal monologue. Any further guilty thoughts were put to the back of your mind when you realized that you were next in line for food. You grabbed two trays, one for you and one for Dash, and paid for two large servings of macaroni n' cheese. As you and Dash went to go find somewhere to sit, as all the benches in the immediate vicinity were taken, she asked, somewhat suspiciously, "Why do you keep buying me food?"

"Because that's what friends do?" you responded, unsure why she asked. "If somepony's hungry, then why not help them out by buying them lunch?"

Snickering, Rainbow said, "Well, you're going to have to buy a lot more than that to satisfy me. A growing and athletic pegasus like me needs as much food as she can eat."

You raised an eyebrow. "I bet I can eat you under the table." A second after uttering that sentence, you realized what was implied by the seemingly innocent remark. Your smile disappeared as you slowly facepalmed with your free hand. Oh Celestia...Why did I have to use that choice of words?

You peaked out at Rainbow Dash through your fingers, expecting to see her explode in anger, confusion, or possibly even embarrassment. Instead, she was grinning, her eyes full of determination. "You're on!"

Wait, what?! "Uhh..."

Rainbow Dash noticed your apprehension and asked with a smile, “What? Afraid that I'll eat you under the table?”

Your face was arranged in a way similar to when you first learned where foals came from. Oh buck me...she had to say that, didn't she?

“Wha-? R-really?! Did you really just say that?!" you stammered.

Like the flick of a light switch, you saw Rainbow Dash’s eyes widen as she realized the alternate meaning of what you had said and what her response meant. Her face turned bright red and she tried to hide behind her rainbow coloured hair, similar to what Fluttershy had done, albeit having much less success. You saw her wings vibrate slightly, probably out of embarrassment. Great. How am I going to talk my way out of this one?!

"I...I..."

You winced, expecting some sort of physical retaliation from the pegasus in front of you. What you weren't expecting was Dash to begin giggling. As her giggles turned into a full-fledged cackle, she doubled over, holding her side and nearly spilling her tray of food in the process. After her laughing fit was over, she said, "Wow! I can't believe that just flew right over my head the first time! I never thought that I would be the one that needed an explanation for something like that..." Rainbow started laughing again. "I can't believe we both said that!"

You couldn't help yourself: you broke into laughter too. The sheer ridiculousness of what happened, combined with the worry that you had said something stupid enough to possibly lose your first friend in Ponyville, made you convulse with laughter.

After your sides stopped heaving, you wiped a tear away from your eye and wheezed, "Well, we are teenagers, aren't we?" After standing back up exhaling, you said, "I'm glad you didn't take that the wrong way. Some girls at my old school would-"

You stopped talking because Rainbow Dash was holding a hand over her mouth, snickering. What did I say this ti-..."Oh ha-ha," you deadpanned. "'Take it the wrong way'. Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up."

She did. When Dash was finally done laughing at yet another of your poor word choices, you asked, "Still up for that eating contest? I doubt that even a pegasus as active as you can beat me."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" challenged Dash. You didn't answer. Instead, you looked away and whistled a few off-key notes, trying to appear as casual as you could manage.

"Oh, it is so on!" responded Dash, the determined look coming back to her eyes. She grabbed your arm and hauled you over to an empty alcove that was nearby. You sat down, opposite from Rainbow Dash in the U-shaped alcove and prepared to engage in the one thing you knew you were damn good at: stuffing your face.

"On my mark!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash. "Three!"

You leaned in closer, your fork at the ready.

"Two!"

The smell of the pasta wafted towards your nose, causing you to lick your lips in anticipation.

"One!"

Your face was practically in the pasta, the heat coming off in waves towards your face.

"Go!"

You dived in, shoveling the pasta into your mouth. You hardly chewed, opting instead to swallow the pasta whole in an attempt to gain a lead against your adversary. You ended up stuffing macaroni into your mouth faster than you could swallow it, causing you to have to stop and chew. You spared a second to glance at your opponent, who was using a strategy similar to yours. We'll see who has the bigger appetite.

As you continued to chew, you were becoming more and more aware of a peculiar sensation that was starting to find purchase at the back of your throat. What is that? you wondered as you chewed as quickly as you could. It's starting to get...hot? Not long after your sudden revelation, your mouth started to burn, as if you had eaten some hot peppers. What, did they put chili flakes in here? you thought as you looked at the tray of pasta that you held. You didn't see any of the telltale red that indicated the presence of chili flakes, but through your now suddenly watering eyes, you saw that the supposedly-yellow macaroni had a slight orange tinge to it.

Oh buck. Oh buck me... you thought as your saliva started to feel like it had surpassed the boiling point. Your throat felt like you had swallowed hydrochloric acid, then followed it up by chugging a bottle of habenero juice.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-! you thought as tinges of red started to creep up on the corners of your vision.

As the pain started to spread along your entire body, the tears started to flow freely. Through your intense heat-induced stupor, you thought it was a good idea to wipe your eyes with the same hands that had just been near the hot sauce-spiked pasta. Not long after, your eyes became yet another part of your body that felt like it was, quite literally, on fire. Your knee jerked, launching the tray of macaroni of cheese across the floor. You were beyond caring about such trivialities: you were too busy trying to keep the spasms of your body under control.

The sudden flight of your lunch caused Dash to stop eating. "What's the hay?" she asked after the tray clattered to the floor. After you failed to even acknowledge her, she said, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

You lifted your head and make eye contact with Rainbow Dash's. Through burning lips, cheeks that felt like they had been steam broiled, and a stomach that felt like the inside of a volcano, you managed to sputter, "H-h-h-ot!"

Instead of running to get some cold milk or something to help with the raging inferno inside of you, something you couldn't fully understand happened. Rainbow Dash's wings sprung outward, extending to their full length, an almost six foot span, in a second. She yelped, and through your red, hazy vision, you thought you saw Dash's face turn a shade of crimson.

"You did know! You bastard!" she yelled at you while simultaneously trying to fold her wings back into place.

Nononononono! Not what I need right now! thought the lone part of your mind that wasn't screaming from the heat.

"H-h-hot s-sauce in p-pasta! F-feels l-like my f-face is m-m-melting!" you managed to utter before a coughing fit took over. If you weren't in such excruciating pain at that particular moment in time, you might have been amused by the look of utter shock on Rainbow's face. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

"O-oh," she eventually said. She blinked repeatedly, as if finally seeing the pain that you were in. "Come on," said Dash while she helped you to stand up, her wings still outstretched more than normal. "Let's get you to the nurse."

*********************************************************

In your hazy, heat-addled mind, you blinked and found yourself barely managing to walk down the hall. "You and your Celestia-damned tallness! If you weren’t so freaking hot...Why are you so...frickin'...heavy!"

Wha-?

You blinked, the hallways warping into what appearing to be the office. You glanced to the side and saw through bleary eyes that Dash was supporting your right side. Somepony else must have been on your other side, as you heard a grunt come from that direction.

Who-?

You blinked again, this time finding yourself lying down on a rough cot with something shining into your eyes. The sudden brightness caused you to wince and avert your eyes. Your nose felt like it was on fire, and the light was not helping the steady throb of your headache.

"Come on, open your eyes. I need to see if your pupils are still dilated," coaxed a voice from beyond the artificial light.

You grudgingly obliged, flinching as the light scorched your eyeballs. For an indeterminable amount of time, you laid there, forcing yourself not to blink. When the light finally took its leave, you exhaled, relieved. Closing your eyes against the light, you thought, Finally. I thought that would never end...

After laying there for almost a minute, you decided to try moving. You started by lifting your leg. Well, tried to at least. You couldn't actually tell if you had raised it or not. You slowly became aware of an all-encompassing numb sensation that was affecting your whole body, save your pounding headache. What the hay? Did somepony drug me? What happened? The last thing I remember was having an eating contest-

Your realization caused you to sit bolt upright. It felt really strange, not being able to feel your body. The only thing that assured you that you were sitting up was the feeling of the concrete wall behind your head. Not even your tail would respond to your commands. As you sat there, eyes still closed, the memories of your eating contest with Rainbow Dash and your subsequent incapacitation from the intense heat of the compromised pasta flooded into your mind, all at once. You immediately regretted your decision to open your eyes, as a flash of pain alerted you to your two orbs' discomfort.

"Where am I?" you asked as you shielded your eyes with a hand, your throat sounding incredibly hoarse.

"Easy there, easy. You've been unconscious for almost fifteen minutes now. Why don't you just relax for a second? Get your bearings," responded an older female voice from above you. Fifteen minutes? What, did they pour milk down my throat while I was knocked out?

You took her advice and continued to sit there, one hand holding your throbbing head, the other shading your eyes from the bright lights above you. Several deep breaths later, you had organized your questions into a cohesive list, from most important to least important.

Naturally, the first thing you asked was, "Can I get a glass of water, please?" It came out as a wheeze, but you thought that you got the message across. A few seconds later, a paper cup of cold, but not overly so, water was held in front of you. You grabbed it and drank greedily, already feeling relief as the cool liquid soothed your aching throat. Even though your hands were numb, you still managed to bring the water to your lips without spilling. Well, without spilling most of it, anyway.

After finishing the cup of water, you cleared your throat and asked, without looking up, "Where am I?" You sounded a lot less like an eighty year old chain smoker after you drank the offered water.

"You're in the school Infirmary, young stallion," answered what you presumed to be the nurse. "You were delirious from intense capsaicin irritation when your friends dragged you in here."

"Where'd Dash go?" you asked. Stupid! you thought to yourself after you asked. She probably doesn't even know who Rainbow is!

"Rainbow Dash said that she had to 'talk' to someone that worked in the cafeteria. She said that she would be right back."

Great, now I feel even stupider. You briefly wondered how the nurse knew Rainbow Dash. "Dash comes here often, doesn't she?" you asked, taking an educated guess.

The nurse laughed and said, "You could say that. Rainbow Dash currently holds the school record for most broken bones."

Why am I not surprised? Rolling your eyes, you said, "Yeah, that sounds like her." You gingerly removed your hand-shade from your eyes, which forced you to squint for a couple seconds before your eyes fully adjusted. With your vision fully recovered, you looked up at the nurse. Well, started to, anyway.

You realized that even while you were sitting down on the cot, you were still slightly taller than the white-coated nurse. Her light pink hair was done up in a bun and she was wearing a generic, white nurse's hat with a red cross imprinted in the center, along with a matching stereotypical white overcoat. Her snow white fur was just slightly brighter than her apparel.

"You wouldn't happen to know who the other pony who hauled me over was, would you?" you asked, wondering who it could've been.

"That would be yours truly," said a male voice from off to your left. The curtain was drawn back to show Thunderlane sitting in a chair whilst wearing a mildly amused expression.

What, was he just sitting there, waiting for me to ask? Mentally shrugging, you put the thought aside for now. Before you could open your mouth, you heard a buzzing sound and the nurse say, "Yes?"

You looked over to see her holding a walkie-talkie to her ear. After a mumbled response that you couldn't make out, she replied, "Alright, I'll be right over." She sighed and put the walkie-talkie away. "Seems like somepony went and broke their arm again. Thunderlane, would you make sure that he doesn't go anywhere while I deal with the break?"

"Yes, Nurse Redheart."

As the nurse left to go deal with the other pony who was injured, you blinked several times without moving. "No, don't ask the patient to not go anywhere. It's not like he is concerned with his own well being," you said dryly when the nurse was out of hearing range.

Thunder chuckled and rolled his eyes. A slightly awkward silence followed your comment. You tried to break it by saying, "What the hay happened? I know that somepony put some sort of hot sauce in my lunch."

Thunder shrugged. "You probably know more than I do at this point. Dash went to go talk to Pinkie to see if she knew anything." He paused for a second before continuing. "What's up with you and Dash, anyway? You moved here, what, three days ago?" he asked. You nodded, to which he replied, "Three days and she's already all over you. You work fast, my friend."

You felt rather than saw your cheeks become tinged with red. "I don't know what she's said or what her agenda is, but we're just friends right now." You exhaled, then continued. "Besides, from what Rainbow's told me, she loves flying more than anything. If you haven't noticed, that's not exactly something I can do."

Thunder seemed confused. "You two...aren't together?"

"NO!" you said, louder than you intended. Feeling embarrassed, you cleared your throat and tried again. "Err, no. No we are most certainly not."

The burly pegasus fell silent for a few seconds before responding. "If you don't mind me asking, why not? You could do a lot worse than hooking up with Dash..."

"I..." you started to say, but fell silent when you realized that you didn't know the answer. You drummed your fingers on your knee, unsure of how to respond. Do I consider Rainbow Dash just a friend...or do I secretly want something more? You felt your headache that had started to recede come back in full force. Ugh, I've been here for three days! Three freakin' days! Why is this happening to me, of all ponies?!

"I don't know," you finally answered. "I've never...actually...been in this situation before and I'm not quite sure how to go about it. Pleading ignorance has seemed to work so far."

"Wait, what do you mean 'never been in this situation before'?" asked Thunderlane. "You mean...you've never had a fillyfriend?"

You tapped your hoof against the linoleum floor in mild agitation. Should I tell him? you asked yourself. After a second if intense consultation, you decided that it didn't really matter if Thunder knew or not. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying," you finally admitted.

Thunderlane was wearing a quizzical expression on his face after you admitted that you had never had a fillyfriend before. Before he could respond however, your conversation train was derailed when you heard a cheerful voice echo down the corridor. Both of you looked down the short hallway to see who the newcomers were.

The voice was revealed to be Pinkie's when her and Rainbow walked around a corner."It wasn't just any old hot sauce!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie. "It was Super-Duper-Nuclear-Waste-Hot Sauce! I had to get it specially ordered in from Stalliongrad and then the first day that I was going try it...somepony steals it!"

You saw that Pinkie was wearing what appeared to be an apron at first glance, but turned out to be a strange type of over wear, similar to overalls that reached to about knee level. The dark pink overall-type over wear was...complemented by a blue and purple striped sweater that Pinkie Pie wore underneath. You noticed that her legs were mostly bare, aside from some ankle length socks with similar colouring to her sweater. You thought that they would look rather tacky on anypony else, but on Pinkie Pie, they just seemed to fit.

"And you're sure that you didn't accidently put some into the macaroni and cheese?" asked Rainbow Dash, knocking you out of your mild stupor.

"I'm super-ultra-mega-quintupley sure! After I-" Pinkie stopped abruptly after she noticed you. Her eyes locked on to yours and before you knew it, she had closed the distance between you and her. You found your torso being crushed by pink pony as she burrowed her face into your shoulder.

What the-?

"I'm so-so-so-so-so-so-so sorry for what happened!" you heard her say between the sharp cracks coming from your sternum. "It's your first day here and you end up in the Infirmary and it's all my fault because somepony stole the hot sauce that I brought specially for me and-"

"O-Okay Pinkie," you managed to wheeze. You caught a glimpse of Rainbow Dash glaring at Pinkie through her pink, curly mane that was practically in your face. Rainbow's face had inherited an all-too-familiar shade of crimson. "Y-you can let go now, Pinkie," you said embarrassed from her bear-like hug. By Celestia, she's strong!

"Oh! Sorry!" said Pinkie Pie sheepishly as she unwrapped herself from your midsection, oblivious to her friend that was glaring daggers at her. "I just don't want you to think that Ponyville is full of big ol' meanie-pants because of what happened! Jokes and pranks should be harmless and funny, not hurtful and cruel!"

"Uhh, y-yeah. I-it's okay, Pinkie. It wasn't your fault, so you have nothing to be sorry about," you managed to say, your mind still reeling. Telling her friends about me? Check. Jealous when another girl makes physical contact me? Check. Fan-frickin'-tastic...

You realized that you hadn't greeted Rainbow Dash yet, so you said, "Hi Dash. I guess that means you won by default, eh?"

Dash's glare turned into a grin when she heard you. "Yeah, I guess it does, doesn't it? How's it feel to be beaten by a girl who's smaller than you?" she asked teasingly.

You grimaced. "It doesn't exactly make me feel like the most masculine pony in the world. Especially not after you and Thunder had to drag my delirious flank in here."

"Quite frankly, I'm surprised that you're up and cognizant already," said a voice from behind Thunderlane. The voice was revealed to be Nurse Redheart after she stepped around the charcoal pegasus and walked towards you. "That spell must've worked faster than it said in the book."

Hallelujah. "I'm just glad that it worked," you replied.

"How are you feeling, as a whole?"

You concentrated on the various parts of your body for a few seconds before answering. "The numbness has started to go away and my tail seems to be working again, so that's good." You swished your tail to emphasize your point. "My throat still feels sore and I have a nasty headache, but I'll live."

The nurse nodded. "If you can walk, then you're free to go," she said with a smile as she stepped backwards to give you some room.

You attempted to stand on your own, but you just couldn't find the strength to stand up under your own power. You put your hands out and asked with a sheepish smile, "Umm, can you guys help me up?"

Smiling themselves, Thunderlane, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash grabbed your offered hands and heaved you to your hooves. Your legs wobbled a little bit, but you managed to stay balanced. Look mom, I can walk! you thought to yourself as you mentally rolled your eyes. "Hey, does anypony know when the bell is suppos-"

*BZZZZZZZZ*

That timing, you thought as you waited for the bell to finish ringing. "Thank you very much for fixing me up, Nurse Redheart," you said as the noise died down.

She smiled and replied, "Don't thank me: thank your friends," the nurse said as she walked down the corridor in the opposite direction. "They're the ones that brought you here."

You scratched the back of your neck in embarrassment, realizing that you hadn't thanked them yet. "Thanks Thunder, thanks Dash. You have no idea how much that would've sucked for me if you hadn't brought me here..."

"Don't mention it," said both Pegasi simultaneously. They both looked at each other and broke out laughing.

While Dash and Thunderlane recovered themselves, you dug out your schedule out of your blazer pocket. You unfolded it and checked to see what your next class would be. 'Home Economics 12', you read in your head. Oh boy...

"Does anypony know where the cooking room is?" you asked.

Without a moment's notice, you found Pinkie Pie to be practically in your face. Her eyes were less than a hoof away from yours. "That's my next class too! I'll take you there!" said the two-toned pink earth pony jubilantly, her eyes staring into your soul.

"Uhh, y-yeah. Sure. Great. Do I need to bring anyth-"

"Nope!" interrupted Pinkie Pie. "Just follow me!"

You quickly learned that by 'follow', Pinkie meant 'drag forcefully along'. Her hand latched onto your wrist with an iron grip and she towed you along behind her. You barely managed to wave goodbye to Thunderlane and Rainbow Dash before you lost sight of them through the sea of other ponies making their way around the school.

What is with girls and dragging today? you asked yourself.

Chapter Five: New Friends, New Beginnings: Part Three

Anthropomorphism

Chapter Five: New Friends, New Beginnings: Part Three

Edited by: TheDaringDone SoulfulSymmetry Stupid bloody wanker and your confounded name change...

Not long after Pinkie Pie had dragged you through the crowd, she stopped abruptly at the entrance of a classroom, almost causing you to collide into the pink earth pony. "We're here!" she exclaimed. You could tell that she was excited, as she had a certain...twinkle in her eye.

Note to self: do NOT underestimate Pinkie's strength ever again, you thought as you rubbed your aching wrist. With your mental note carefully folded and put away, you glanced through the windowed door and observed the cooking room.

Like the rest of Ponyville High School, the cooking room was a lot smaller than you were used to. There seemed to be five cooking stations aligned in a roughly upside-down U shape formation, with counters and sinks separating each oven. You noticed a distinct lack of tables and chairs upon which to eat at. You turned to ask Pinkie about the missing furniture, but she wasn't there. Confused, you looked back through the windowed door to see Pinkie Pie already inside the room and wearing an apron.

How did she do that? you asked yourself as you opened the door and stepped into the room. You know what? Never mind. I don't think I'd even understand if she told me, anyway.

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to grab an apron and help?" said Pinkie cheerfully. If anypony else had asked, you would've figured that comment to be rude, but Pinkie said it in such a way that you knew she was honestly asking if you were literally going to stand there.

"Coming, Pinkie," you sighed as you made your way over to the rack of white aprons. After sliding one on and tying it around your back, you looked over at the pink earth pony, awaiting further instructions. Pinkie Pie stared at you with a completely neutral expression for a whole ten seconds. Ill at ease, you asked cautiously, "Yes?" What is up with her?

Her mask of indifference broke suddenly when she started giggling uncontrollably. Pinkie's laughing was so infectious, you found yourself smiling and chuckling along, even though you had no idea what was so funny.

"You look so...so silly wearing that apron! It looks so teensy-weensy on you!"

You looked down and realized that, yes, the apron was far too small for your tall form. It barely went past your waist, while on a normal sized pony, it would probably reach as far as their thighs, or maybe even their knees. I feel like a giant.

"Yeah, well, what are you going do? Not all of us can have a fancy, made-to-fit, pink apron like yours," you replied, giving Pinkie's apron a glare. If aprons had eyes, you were pretty sure that it would have given you the evil eye in return.

"I know! I wish we could all have matching aprons too!" exclaimed Pinkie, the sarcasm going in one side and out the other.

"Uhh-yeah. Yep. Definitely." After saying that, you decided to clarify that you didn't actually want a fancy pink apron, as Pinkie had proven herself to be fairly oblivious to sarcasm so far. "Actually, on second thought, I think I'll stick to this plain 'ol white one for now. I'm pretty sure pink isn't my colour, anyway."

Like a deflating balloon, all the energy and joy seemed to dissipate out of Pinkie Pie. She turned her back to you and you swore that she was choking back tears. Did...did I break her? What'd I do?!

"Pinkie?" you asked. You received no response, unless the 'Humph!' that followed was the response. The complete emotional flip-flop caught you off guard and your mind reeled to try and determine what you did or said wrong. After a moment of frantic thinking, it hit you.

'Pink isn't my colour'. Of course. Of freakin' course. Why in Tartarus did I have to say that? You rapidly processed all of this, trying to find a way to reconcile or retract your previous statement. I just flat out insulted her without even realizing it! The heck is wrong with me?! Ugh, think! I need to figure out how to get out of this...

An idea came to you. It was risky, but it was still worth a shot.

"Actually, now that I remember correctly, pink is one of my favourite colours. I don't know why I ever said it wasn't. In fact, now that I think about it, you're the reason why I like pink so much..." you stated, trying to sound as authentic as possible. After all, Pinkie Pie may not get sarcasm and she may be bipolar, but that didn't mean that she was more susceptible to lies than anypony else. You just hoped that she wouldn't take the flattery too seriously.

Your hope was immediately dashed, ground up, and turned into paste as soon as Pinkie spun around and practically flung herself against you, giving you another rib-shattering hug in the process. Oh Celestia, why do my plans never work the way they're supposed to? You awkwardly patted her back in a feeble attempt to get her off. You tried not to think about how nice it felt when she buried her face into your chest. "Yay! I knew you weren't a big meanie who definitely wouldn't get invited to a surprise party after school-"

Pinkie comically gasped and let go of you. She covered her mouth with both hands to stop the flow of words, as it seemed that her mouth had a mind of its own. The doubly pink earth pony kept talking, although her hands managed to reduce her words to mere mumbles. Surprise party? was the single, brilliant deduction you managed to conjure.

Before you could ask Pinkie about the aforementioned party, you heard somepony cough behind you and say, "Pinkie Pie! It's this young stallion's first day and you're already assaulting him..."

Both you and Pinkie turned to face the teacher at the same time. The home economics instructor was a female earth pony, and she appeared to be middle aged. Her fur was similar in colour to Rainbow Dash's, although at a second glance, you noticed that it was several shades lighter than your athletic friend's. If she was still only your 'friend'...

Later, you told yourself. Think about that later, when you have time to yourself.

Your attention returned to the...plump teacher. You felt bad about using the word, but it described her perfectly: she looked like a homely housewife. In fact, she kind of reminded you of your Nana back when you visited her as a foal. Even her pale crimson mane was curled and rested atop her head in a way eerily similar to how your father's mother's hair always was.

Beside you, Pinkie bounced to attention. Literally. "Oh hi Mrs. Cake! It may be his first day here, but I already know that we are going to be the very bestest of friends!" She punctuated her statement by giving you a larger-than-average smile. It wasn't the creepiest thing you had ever seen, but it was definitely up there.

Gulping, you turned to the teacher and said, "Err, hi. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Cake."

"Is Pinkie bothering you?"

"Hey! I'll have you know he-" Pinkie started to say, but you managed to silence her by putting a hand over her mouth before she could say anything that you would regret.

"Nope. Everything's all fine and dandy," you replied. Mrs. Cake gave you a look that said, 'I know there's something else going on here, but I'm going to do my best to ignore it.'

"Well, since you're both here early, why don't you two help me get the supplies out?" she asked.

Before you could say, 'Yes', Pinkie started jumping up and down with her hand raised in the air. "Ooh! What are we making today?!"

The bright cerulean earth pony smiled and said simply, "Cupcakes."

You weren't sure why, but you felt a chill go down your spine at the mere mention of cupcakes. I've got a bad feeling about this... you thought as you prepared yourself for cooking with Pinkie Pie.

*******************************************************************

Hmm. Actually, these aren't half bad with regular hot sauce, you thought as you chewed a cupcake that you and Pinkie Pie had made. Even though, technically, you didn't make them: you were pretty much just Pinkie's cooking assistant. I've still no idea how she can eat that obscenely, nuclear-waste-hot sauce on her cupcakes, but whatever. She can put whatever she wants on her own, just as long as I'm not forced to try some...

"See? I told you they'd be good!" said Pinkie from across the fold-out table that you shared. It turned out that since there was so little space in the cooking room, even with only ten students, the tables and chairs had to be of the collapsible variety to allow for maximum space usage.

"That's true: you did tell me," you replied after swallowing your bite. You had no idea why or how chocolate icing went well with hot sauce: it just did. You looked behind yourself at the spotless counter and empty sink. "My turn. Does the food taste better when the dishes are already done?" you asked. It had taken all of your skills at persuasion to convince the bubbly pink pony to put off eating until you had both done the dishes.

"Mmm hmm!" Pinkie said through mouth full of batter cake. "It's so much better than having to do them after!" She grabbed another cupcake from her already dwindling pile. Pinkie was eating her fifth cupcake while you were slowly working on your second.

You smiled and leaned back in your chair. You lazily glanced over the rest of the students in the small classroom. Several of them gave appreciative glances back. A few waved. One filly with carrot orange hair even blew you a kiss. You bashfully ducked your head in response. The seemingly infallible law that males would be outnumbered five to one by females was broken in your Home Economics class: you were outnumbered ten to one, with you being the only guy.

I feel like there's a target painted on my back, you thought whilst taking another bite. You could feel your classmates staring at you, some openly, some sneakily. So this is how all the popular kids feel...

"Alright girls!" said Mrs. Cake, which claimed your and everypony else's attention. "...And boy," she added after seemingly noticing you again, which caused a wave of giggles to erupt from your assembled classmates. You smiled shyly. "The bell is going to ring in a few minutes from now," continued the teacher. "I want all your stations cleaned up, the floor swept, and the tables and chairs to be put away before you leave!"

Wow, that block flew by quickly, you thought as you stood up and packed your uneaten cupcakes into a brown paper bag. "Hey Pinkie, if you sweep, I'll deal with the table and chairs," you offered.

"Deal!"

*********

"See you tomorrow, Mrs. Cake!" you said as you exited the classroom, Pinkie Pie following close behind.

"See you after school, Mrs. Cake!" chirped Pinkie as soon as your words died down.

After school? "After school program?" you asked Pinkie as you walked down the hallway to your locker.

Pinkie beamed at you. "Nope!"

You kept silent, waiting for her to tell you why she would see Mrs. Cake after school. It was only after fifteen quiet seconds did you realize that you would have to be more specific with your pink friend. "Why are you going to see Mrs. Cake after school?"

She giggled and added a little skip to her already bouncy walk. "I live with Mrs. Cake, Mr. Cake, and their twins, dolty-colty!" listed Pinkie.

You sighed and rolled your eyes. Once again, if it came from anyone else, the last thing Pinkie Pie said would've been an insult. From Pinkie however, you understood that she was just saying rhyming words, much like the term 'silly-filly' you heard her use earlier. You looked around and noticed that you were quickly approaching your locker.

"Huh. The more you know..." you replied as you pulled out your schedule for the fifth and final time. Why didn't I just read the whole bloody thing at once? you realized when a flash of déjà vu hit you. It's not like I pulled this thing out five separate times or anything...

Shaking your head slightly to dispel your niggling thoughts, you read your last block out loud. "'Physical Education.' Well I'll be. Guess I will get some exercise this semester then."

"Ooh, Dashie has P.E. this block too! I've got Science class right now, so I'll see you later!" said Pinkie before giving you yet another bone crushing hug. She then continued skipping happily down the halls.

You shook your head and walked the few remaining steps to your locker. Your thoughts turned towards the supposed 'party' after school as you unlocked your locker. Is that the 'surprise' that Dash told me about on Saturday? Well, since she's in my gym class, I might as well ask...

You opened up your backpack and looked around inside, as you couldn't remember if you packed spare clothes for gym class or not. "Ugh...damnit," you said quietly when you didn't find it. I hope we aren't doing anything too physically demanding today, you thought. I don't want to be all sweaty and have nothing to change in to.

Sighing, you locked your locker and made your way over to the gym, which was on the opposite side of the school. You didn't bother going to the change room, as you had nothing to change in to. When you pushed open the door to the gymnasium, you were immediately singled out by a huge, white pegasus wearing a muscle shirt and long shorts. "Where's your gym strip!" he shouted at you.

Startled, you stammered, "I-uh, d-didn't know to bring it. It's my first d-"

"Two laps around the school!"

"But-"

"GET TO IT!"

Seeing as how the gym teacher was having none of any of your excuses, you walked towards the nearest outside exit with your head down and your posture downcast. You sullenly opened the push-bar door and started to jog around the school.

Couldn't have just brought spare clothes anyway, you thought as you jumped over a particularly sodden patch of grass. Seems like I'm going to need them with how my luck has been lately. You continued to jog around the school, your long legs eating up the distance faster than you thought possible. Either I'm suddenly good at running or this school is just really small.

You were just starting on your second lap when you saw a winged shadow on the ground to your right. Perplexed, you stopped jogging and looked up.

"'Bout time you looked up!" announced a familiar voice. "What, do earth ponies disregard everything skywards?" There's only one pony that this could be...

You gave the pegasus a level look before starting to jog again. "Very funny, Dash," you said in-between breaths. "How long have you been flying above me?"

"Since I saw you get kicked out by Mr. Flake," replied Rainbow Dash from above you. "I figured you'd like the company. Running alone isn't fun. Trust me; I've ran more than my share for not bringing my spare clothes."

"How very...thoughtful of you, Dash."

You could practically feel her cocky smile. "Yeah, well, I'm not an egghead like some ponies, but it's the very least I could do for a friend."

A brief silence followed before you recalled what you were going to ask your feathered acquaintance. "Is the 'surprise' you warned me about on Saturday going to be a party?"

You heard an irregular flap in Dash's otherwise completely routine flying, causing her to drop slightly in altitude. "N-nope! What made you think that?"

Yeah, it's definitely a party, you confirmed to yourself. I wonder who's going to be there...

"No reason," you replied to the pegasus as you ran back towards the gym, seeing as how you had just completed your second lap. "No reason at all." You paused at the door, waiting for Rainbow Dash to land. When she did, you asked another question that was more relevant. "What are we doing in P.E. today?"

Rainbow landed beside you, her wings folding up and pressing against her back once more. She flashed you a grin. "Haven't you heard? We're playing Dodgeball today!"

Oh dear...

***************************************************************

"Ya'll can't keep dodgin' forever, sugarcube," stated the bane of your gym class. The tanned orange earth pony with a blonde mane done up in a ponytail had gotten you out every single time during the four other games of Dodgeball. If you were of a slightly more self-centered variety, you would've assumed that she was going for you and only you.

Kind of like how I went for Rainbow Dash every single time, you thought with a smile. The athletic pegasus was fast, but even she couldn't dodge missiles thrown from both you and Thunderlane at once. Many ponies thought that earth ponies were at the most disadvantage in Dodgeball: this was untrue.

Unicorns had the most accurate throws due to some basic heat-seeking spells, but the power and speed behind them was weak. They couldn't dodge very well and any magical shields were instant disqualification.

Earth ponies could throw fast and powerful volleys, but the accuracy factor wasn't in their favour. Most earth ponies like yourself could dodge fairly well, but your size happened to be your greatest disadvantage.

Pegasi, on the other hoof, were an absolute terror to deal with, as using their wings was a perfectly viable strategy. Pegasi could dodge with ease due to their flying nature and the fact that they were in the air, which also meant that gravity was not on the other pony's side. Gravity was on their side, however, which meant that they had the easiest time launching barrage after barrage of soft rubber ammunition.

Of course, none of the racial imbalance mattered now: it was just you and the Stetson-wearing cowpony left, with the match point determining the victorious team. The score was tied 2-2 and you were the last hope for your team.

Crap...

"Go get him, A.J.!" shouted the ponies from the opposing team's sideline.

Not wanting to be outdone, your own team responded with, "You can do it, new kid!"

At least my team has some faith in me, you thought offhandedly. With barely any warning, 'A.J.' whipped a ball towards you with frightening speed. You narrowly avoided it by jumping to the side. It was close enough that the wind ruffled your shirt.

"Alright big fella: no more games!" shouted the cowpony before flinging rubber projectiles at you left and right. You managed to dodge the first by flinging yourself to the ground, but that left you open to her unnervingly precise and surprisingly powerful throws. You scrambled on the ground, evading volley after volley by a painstakingly narrow margin that only seemed to get smaller as the showdown continued.

What the hay! you analyzed while clambering around on your side of the gym. How is she so freakin' good at this?!

Your opportunity to strike back came soon after that thought. While A.J. huffed in agitation and went to pick up some more dodgeballs to fling at your face, you took advantage of her momentary distraction to throw your own.

The ball flew straight and true, hitting her right in the stomach. You heard her make an 'oof' sound, the breath being forced out of her lungs from the impact. She doubled over immediately.

Did I...did I actually manage to...?

Your rush of exuberance was immediately cut off when A.J. stood back up, holding the very ball that you threw at her. She triumphantly held the ball in one hand. Son of a-

"The blue team is victorious!" announced Mr. Flake from his referee vantage point of the sidelines. "That means the red team has to run three laps around the school! Blue team, you can hit the change rooms and leave early!"

Damnit! you thought bitterly. So. Bloody. Close!

You turned to your teammates with a disappointed sigh, expecting them to heckle and jeer at you for losing the game. Instead of insults, congratulations and friendly pats on the back were sent your way.

'Nice job!', 'Damn close game!', and 'At least you did better than me...' were just some of the commendations you received. What's going on here?

"Shouldn't you guys be angry at me for dropping the game?" you asked.

Thunderlane cleared his throat and responded, "I think I speak for everypony here when I say you did better than anypony else thought you'd do. A.J. has a helluva arm on her, Celestia knows why, but you managed to go hoof-to-hoof with her." The end of Thunder's speech was met with approving nods from your Dodgeball compatriots.

"Uhh, well, thanks everypony," you said with a smile.

A collection of ‘No problems’ and ‘Your welcomes’ filled your ears. Thunderlane took charge and said, “Now, if we don’t want to stick around after school, we should probably get to running.”

Nodding, your team started to file out the side door with you bringing up the rear. You were just about to step outside when a voice that had been taunting you only a few minutes ago called behind you, "Good game, tall stuff!"

The orange earth pony had her hand outstretched and waiting. With a grin, you grasped her protracted limb with your own and shook her hand. "Good game, A.J." you responded. Ow! you exclaimed inwardly soon after the handshake was finished. She has a strong grip!

You turned to exit, but stopped when the earth pony asked, "Do Ah know you from somewhere?"

"Umm," you replied, trying to think of where you could've possibly seen the surprisingly toned girl before. "I don't think so, no."

She frowned in thought, her freckles becoming more prominent through her thin facial fur. "Hmm. Must be the ol' adrenaline gettin' to me. Anyhow, see ya 'round!"

"See you later."

**************

After you finished your three designated laps, you made it to your locker just as the bell rang. Nice timing, you thought as you entered in your combination and twisted the dial accordingly. When you opened your locker, a small envelope fell out with your first name printed on the front. What do we have here? A secret admirer? A long lost relative recognizing me but too afraid to say anything? you thought, your mind going through all sorts of implausible situations.

...Or it could be the party invitation, you realized when you opened the envelope to see party balloons on the front of the half-sized card. You flipped it open and read the inside.

'Be at Sugarcube Corner at 8:00pm for a fun surprise! Don't be late!' you read in your head. You subconsciously read it in Pinkie Pie's voice, as you were almost one hundred percent sure that it was from the sprightly, pink earth pony. "Fun, fun, fun," you muttered to yourself as you grabbed your backpack from the open locker and placed the invitation in one of its many compartments.

"BOO!"

You rapidly spun around, surprised by the sudden noise. You managed to ram your fingers on your open locker door as you did so. You swore out of reflex, holding your fingers with your other hand.

Snickering in front of you was Rainbow Dash. "Oops," she said whilst snorting. "Sor-ry!” The snort rather diminished the validity of her atonement. "I didn't think you'd react quite like that..."

You narrowed your eyes at the rainbow maned pegasus. Your fingers were starting to throb. "Yeah, well, you startled me, alright? If somepony did that to you, I'd bet your reaction would be similar," you reckoned.

Dash harrumphed and brushed back a few strands of her hair that had gotten out of place. "I doubt it! I'm not as easy to spook as you are!" she declared arrogantly.

We'll see about that, you thought, already picturing how her reaction would be when you snuck up on her. "If you say so, Dashie," you said as you shouldered your bag and locked your locker.

No reaction. She had yelled at Pinkie Pie for calling her that, but she seemed ambivalent towards you using it. Well, confirmation is nice, I guess, you thought amiably. "I take it you're going to walk with me?" you asked.

"Pff!" she replied. "Nah, I just felt like scaring ya. I've got flight practice after school, but I'll definitely be seeing you later!" With that, Dash turned tail and jogged away, giving you a nice view of her backside.

"See me later where?" you managed to ask.

"I think you and I both know what I'm talking about," she teased before disappearing around a corner. She poked her back around and added, "Oh, and have a shower first: you stink," before laughing and withdrawing again.

You unconsciously sniffed your armpit. Nose wrinkling, you started the walk back towards your home, grumbling about how you couldn't understand girls.

***************************************************************

You stood outside Sugarcube Corner a few minutes before the party was supposed to start. You had left early, never one to believe in being 'fashionably late'. The only thing stopping you from knocking on the door was the fact that the building seemed to be completely empty. No light broke through the tiny slits in the blinds and you couldn't hear any voices whatsoever.

You frowned and tugged on your dress shirt sleeves. Your mom hadn't so much as requested that you wear something nice rather than forced you to wear what she thought somepony going to their first party was supposed to wear. I can't believe she made me wear a tie, you grumbled inwardly.

Your dad had been slightly more pessimistic about the party after you told him about the hidden hot sauce in your lunch. He had figured that it would be even easier for somepony to try something if they knew exactly where and when you were going to show up. It had taken all of your persuasive skills, of which you didn't have very much to start with, to convince him that you weren't the target of some nefarious plot and that it was just a couple of ponies pranking the new kid.

You checked your watch. 7:59pm. Well, it's now or never. Maybe it's a surprise party...?

Taking a deep breath, you strode the few remaining steps to the door and knocked three distinct times. You waited a few seconds for a response. When none came, you knocked again the exact same way. After still no answer, you thought, I guess it is a surprise party. As you grabbed the door handle and made sure it was unlocked, you thought, Only one way to find out...

You twisted the handle and stepped inside the pitch black bakery. Try as you might, you couldn't make out anything beyond the rough outlines of some shapes. Is that a wing-?

"SURPRISE!"

The sudden onslaught of lights flickering to life and a cacophony of noise blinded and deafened you momentarily, causing you to wince and take an involuntary step back. As soon as your eyes cleared, you scanned across the main room at faces both familiar and not.

Thunderlane, Rainbow Dash, Roseluck, A.J., and Rarity were just some of the faces that you recognized. There was a slew of others that you couldn't identify by name, but you had seen them around and about the school. And, of course, there was Pinkie Pie.

"Yay! You made it!" she exclaimed happily. She turned to everypony else and said, "Now that the guest of the hour is here, LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"

I hope she doesn't mean what I think she means, you thought, suddenly worried. We have school tomorrow...

********************************************************************

I'm glad that Pinkie only meant to bring out the food and start up the music, you thought as you began the slight ascent up the driveway to your home. An unhappy growl sounded from your stomach. Ugh. Next time, I'm going easier on the food.

The party had been short and sweet, only an hour long. Pinkie had said something about not wanting to drag the party on for longer because 'Some ponies don't appreciate good music after midnight.' You had to give the pink pony credit: she certainly knew how to throw a party. A smile appeared on your face when you thought about that. A pink party pony named Pinkie Pie...

Your smile quickly turned into a grimace when you remembered that the 'Welcome to Ponyville' banner had your name spelt wrongly. It's not like my name is that hard to spell, you thought with a roll of your eyes. The mistake had given you something to laugh about, so it wasn't all bad.

With a grin on your face, you unlocked the door to your house and stepped inside. You breathed in the nice, warm air as you closed the door behind you. The only thing wrong with walking, according to you, was the fact that it got really cold in the later months of the year. You slipped off your hoofshoes with numb fingers and made your way to the living room.

"Mom, Dad, I'm back," you announced when you stepped into the living room.

"How was the party, sweetie?" your mom asked. Your dad was nowhere to be seen. "Did your friends like your clothes?"

You paused for a second, unsure if you should answer truthfully or not. "Well, Rainbow Dash thought I looked, and I quote, 'like a colt on his first date,'" you answered wryly. "The party was fun, although I felt a tad bit overdressed."

Your mom gave you a look. Bah! How do mothers always know?

"Alright, I was the only one who actually wore something even slightly formal."

Your mom beckoned you over. "I'm sorry, darling," she apologized as she undid your tie for you. "Did some of the lovely young mares at the party at least compliment you on your looks?"

You shifted uncomfortably. "That depends: being called 'cute' is a compliment, right?"

The smile that your mother wore made you think that she knew something that you didn't. "You really don't understand fillies at all, do you?"

You were going to make a witty retort, but you realized that you really had no clue whatsoever regarding the inner machinations of the female mind. "Nope. Not a clue...Anyways, I'm heading to bed. I'm pretty drained of energy."

She let out an exaggerated huff. "I have a feeling that you're going to have to make some very difficult choices soon," said your mom as she placed your now undone tie into your hand. "Some choices that will determine exactly how the remainder of your high school years will pan out."

You blinked, surprised. "That was...surprisingly deep, mother."

"I have my moments," laughed your mom. "Have a good sleep honey. Be sure to say goodnight to your father as well! He's up in his study."

"Yes'm."

You walked up both flights of stairs, as the study was on the third floor. You had only been up there once before and you didn't really know where everything was. After a minute of searching empty rooms and finding dead-end hallways, you finally found the study.

Your father was sitting in a simple leather swivel chair. He was hunched over a very expensive-looking ancient oak table, writing something down. You decided to wait quietly by the door until there was a break in his scribbling.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to say hello to your father?"

So much for waiting quietly. "Hey Dad, whatcha doing?" you asked as you stepped into the room.

"Just another pet project of mine," he replied. You raised an eyebrow at this. Your dad's last 'pet project' had been the nanobots. He put his pencil down and swivelled in his seat to face you. "How was your party, kiddo? Any more pranks?"

You shook your head. "It was good. Food, music, awkward dancing, the full bit.'

"I take it your mother is the reason you're wearing formal attire, eh?"

You looked down at your dress shirt and pants. "Is it that obvious?" you asked sarcastically.

"Yes," replied your dad with a perfectly straight face. "Now, what was the reason you came up here?"

"To say goodnight. I'm beat."

Your dad nodded sagely. "Parties will do that. Have a good sleep, kiddo."

"'Night, Dad."

With the nightly farewells given, you wearily stepped down the stairs and headed to your room. Stifling a yawn as you closed your door behind you, you shrugged off your clothes, except for your underwear, and crawled into bed.

You briefly thought about everything that had happened to you on your first day at a new school. Too much, you thought tiredly as the events and occurrences started to really pile up. Too many things happened today.

...Is it strange to be looking forward to school tomorrow?

Chapter Six: Read it and Weep

Traditionally, the employment of the second-person form in literary fiction has not been as prevalent as the corresponding first-person and third-person forms, yet second-person narration is, in many languages, a very common technique of several popular and non- or quasi-fictional written genres such as guide books, self-help books, do-it-yourself manuals, interactive fiction, role-playing games, gamebooks such as the Choose Your Own Adventure series, musical lyrics, advertisements and also blogs.

-Wikipedia

Chapter Seven: A Day at the Movies

(Right click and click 'View Image' to read easier)

As can (hopefully) be seen by the above snipping tool picture, I've been invited to something that I never thought I'd manage to be a part of.

For those of you who can't see the image, or it's not large enough for you to read, I'll copy and paste it below with certain information omitted:

Dear {Name Hidden},

On behalf of the {Name Hidden} Firm, we would like to cordially invite you to participate in a unique opportunity to learn from the most accomplished persons in {Name Hidden}. This two-week long workshop running from January 16 - January 30 will prepare you regarding what to expect working at the {Name Hidden} Firm. The workshop is located in {Name Hidden}. Both the plane ride and any and all expenses will be paid by us.

-Get involved - meet people, introduce yourself, ask questions and look for opportunities to learn more. Talk to aides, lawyers and other trainees about their experiences. This will help you to build a more detailed picture of the firm and what a career in commercial law involves.

-Come prepared - two weeks will fly past so make sure you are ready both to learn and to show your own abilities and talents. Prior to your workshop identify particular areas that you want to find more about. Remember, everyone here was once a newcomer and they'll be happy to answer your questions.

-Listen and ask questions - this is your opportunity to learn about what a major law firm does and what a long-term career entails. There will be a lot of information to absorb. Do ask if you wish to learn more or clarify something. You will find the people around you understanding and helpful and even if they can't help directly they'll be able to point you to someone who can.

-Have fun - the workshop isn't just about work, it's also about experiencing the culture of the firm and getting to know our people.

If you have any questions, Mr. {Name Hidden}, don't be afraid to reply to this message or call toll-free at {Number Hidden}.

Sincerely,

{Name Hidden}

There is very little (practically none) chance that I will be able to write anything that has to do with my stories during the two weeks that I'll be gone. I'm deeply and truly sorry.

-DivideByZero

Never Mind

As soon as I'm done writing Dash's Addendum, I'm marking this story as complete. Which means no more endings.

'Why?' you may ask.

I'm sick of writing this story. I don't like it anymore, and right now, it's only holding me back.

I ain't going backwards after I've gone forwards.

That is all.

Goodbye.

-DivideByZero