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Disgraced

by HoofBitingActionOverload

Chapter 1: Homecoming

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It was raining. Little droplets of water peppered the window. The force of the speeding train pulled them back, leaving long, slippery trails across the glass in their wake.

Rainbow Dash leaned her head against the window. The cold glass felt nice against her forehead. She looked past the rain, past the misty haze, at the scenery rushing by outside. It was all so sickeningly familiar. She’d ridden in a dozen different identical train cars down those same tracks. She had rattled past and gazed at those same trees and hills more times than she could count. She’d bought a one-way ticket from Canterlot this time. It would be her last trip.

A deserted old barn loomed on a hill overhead. ‘Barn’ was a generous term. The ratty, broken heap of darkened wood was little more than a shack, if that. In past trips her heart had skipped at the site of that old barn. Her wings would flare as she smiled and fidgeted on her hooves. Ponyville was close.

She didn’t smile this time. A deep sickness spread through her stomach as she watched it pass by. Soon, she would be back. She would be face-to-face with her marefriend. She would explain to Pinkie Pie exactly what she had done and why she had done it, and Pinkie would hate her for it.

Exhausted, she closed her eyes, focusing on nothing but the rhythmic clatter of the train’s wheels.

_________________________________________________

“Why not?” Pinkie Pie whined. “Rainbow Dash loves my party cannon.”

Twilight groaned and massaged her temples. It wasn’t the first time she had to answer that question. “Pinkie, I understand that you want to cheer her up, we all do, but now isn’t the time for party cannons.”

Pinkie gasped at the ultimate blasphemy, her jaw nearly dropping onto the floor of the train platform they were gathered on. “All the time is a time for party cannons!”

“No.” Twilight groaned again. “Now is not a time for party cannons. Rainbow Dash has been through a lot. It would be best not to surprise her.”

“Yes, dear,” Rarity said, glancing up at the wide umbrella floating over her and Fluttershy’s heads. “What Rainbow Dash needs now is peace, quiet, and understanding.”

Applejack snorted, drawing questioning glances from her friends. She remained silent, standing at the edge of the platform, away from the rest of the group. Her face was clouded by the shadows of early evening.

Pinkie dropped down on her haunches with a huff and crossed her forelegs over her chest. Her pink tail spread out over the soaked wood of the train platform around her. Her mane, dripping rainwater, snaked its way down her face and neck.

The Ponyville train station was usually a lively place, full of ponies coming and going. Now, the only movement was the seemingly limitless downpour of rain. There were only a handful of other ponies on the platform, all hiding beneath their umbrellas.

“And absolutely under no circumstances is anypony going to mention the Wonderbolts, Canterlot or anything else that could remind her of what happened,” Twilight said, looking at each of the four ponies in turn. Rarity nodded back, Pinkie was still busy pouting, Fluttershy merely blinked. Only Applejack refused meet her gaze.

“Why?” Applejack asked.

“Because she’s been dealing with it for weeks,” Twilight replied. “She deserves a break.”

“Deserves?” Applejack’s mouth creased in a tight frown. “I reckon she’s already gettin’ what she deserves.”

Rarity gasped and covered her mouth. “Surely you can’t mean that.”

“Applejack, she’s your friend!” Twilight shouted, eyes widening.

Fluttershy looked away, her face unreadable.

“Friend or not, what she did was wrong, and everypony here knows it,” Applejack said with a sigh. “She lied to all of us.”

“Please don’t say that.” Pinkie sniffed. Her voice was low, all its usual bounce gone.

Applejack passed her a sympathetic frown. “Pinkie, I know this must be hard for you, but it’s the truth.”

Pinkie sniffed again but didn’t answer. It was hard to tell if the moisture gathering in her eyes was due to the rain or something else.

“She hurt that poor mare—”

“Applejack!” Rarity shouted, shooting the farm pony a glare. She wrapped a foreleg over Pinkie’s wet shoulder and floated her umbrella over so that it was covering Pinkie instead of herself. “With all due respect, shut up.”

Applejack huffed and pulled her hat low over her eyes.

“The train’s here,” Fluttershy murmured, raising her hoof in the air.

Four heads turned to look where she pointed. In the distance, the outline of a train could just barely be made out through the cloudy drizzle.

____________________________________________________________

Rainbow Dash walked down the hallway, past the many doors of the Wonderbolts’ main office in Canterlot with her head held high. The blue tiles that made up the floor were shining in the fluorescent glow of the lights. When she looked down, she could see a broken pegasus hazily reflected in the floor below her. She didn’t look down.

Everypony she passed stopped to watch her walk by. They whispered to each other and stared. Some gave her disappointed frowns, but most just stared. She returned every one with the same bitter scowl.

She pushed the door open at the end of the hall, the word, “Captain”, inscribed on its front, and stepped inside without any hesitation.

Spitfire stood waiting for her behind a desk. She was turned away, facing the wall. Awards and pictures of Wonderbolts in their signature uniforms, soaring in tight formations, covered the walls.

“Do you know why you’re here?” Spitfire asked.

Rainbow Dash didn’t answer.

Spitfire sighed and turned around. “Do you have anything to say for yourself? Anything at all?”

“I didn’t do it.” Her voice sounded hollow and weak, even to Dash’s own ears.

Spitfire’s eyes shot open, her gaze suddenly as fiery as her mane. “You’ve disgraced every pegasus who’s ever put on that uniform!” she spat, pointing at one of the pictures covering the wall. “You’ve disgraced the Wonderbolts, you’ve disgraced me, you’ve disgraced yourself. And now you have the audacity to lie to my face? Again?”

Dash winced at the anger in her one-time idols’ voice. She should have said sorry. Some part of her wanted to, but it got lost somewhere on the way to her mouth.

Spitfire sighed again and turned back around, rubbing her forehead. “As of today, you’re no longer a Wonderbolt and, as long as I have anything to say about it, you never will be again.”

“But I—”

“Get out,” she barked, jabbing at the air with her leg. “I don’t want to have to look at you anymore.”

Dash opened her mouth to reply, to explain, to retort, to say anything. But when she saw the pain on Spitfire’s face, she closed it again. She turned and opened the door.

“Rainbow Dash.”

Dash turned back around, impossible hope sparking in her chest.

“Make sure you leave the suit and goggles in your locker. They aren’t yours anymore.”

_________________________________________________

Dash’s eyes flew open as she was thrown to the side of her seat. The train car quickly came to a stop, screeching and shaking. She couldn’t remember when she’d fallen asleep.

“This is Ponyville Station!" a gruff voice called out over the intercom. "Ponyville Station. Please check your overhead compartment for luggage. Thank you for choosing Canterlot Express."

She quickly turned and pulled the curtain down over the window before her friends could see her.

She slid off her seat and slung her saddlebags onto her back. Those saddlebags contained her entire life now. At least what was left of it. She slid the car door open and trudged out into the dark corridor.

She walked in line with the rest of the disembarking passengers, past the train car’s many compartments and towards the exit. Her saddlebags were heavy, too heavy. They weighed her down and slowed her legs. But for the first time in her life, she didn’t mind going slow.

When she reached the door, she stopped. Pinkie Pie was on the other side.

“Excuse me,” a middle aged mare standing behind her said. “Could you hurry up? Some of us have places to be.”

She took one final deep breath, pushed the door open, and stepped out into the rain.

And then she saw her. Pinkie Pie was sitting on the wood of the train platform, surrounded by the rest of her friends. Her mane was soaked. Dash felt the steady beat of raindrops on her head. Her own mane probably didn’t look much better. The sun had gone down, and the only light came from a few glowing street lamps nearby.

She wasn’t sure what she expected to happen when she first saw her friends. She thought they might gather together in a hug and cry. They might understand. Or they might scream at her until their voices went hoarse. They might leave, willingly forget they had ever been friends.

But, for what seemed like the longest time, they didn’t do anything. In the cold, steady rain, they stood on one side of the platform and she stood on the other.

Rainbow Dash dropped her head, unable to meet their stares. Ponies streamed past her, greeting waiting friends and family, or cantering away to find shelter from the rain.

Dash became vaguely aware of the sensation of somepony holding her and the familiar blasting of a party cannon nearby. She looked up. Pink forelegs were wrapped around her neck. Pinkie Pie pulled back, her smile just as big and full of laughter as Dash had ever seen it. Pinkie said something about how happy she was to see her.

Dash wanted to respond. She wanted to tell Pinkie how happy she was to see her too, and how much it meant to her that she had been waiting with her smile ready. She wanted say sorry, to explain everything. But when she opened her mouth, her throat choked.

Twilight and Rarity, repeating Pinkie’s greetings, smiled and grabbed her in for a close hug, but Dash couldn’t hear them. Their voices were drowned out by Pinkie’s. Her voice was just as animated and loud as Dash remembered. She looked past their shoulders. Applejack and Fluttershy were standing off to the side, looking away.

She focused her attention back on Pinkie. A party. Pinkie wanted to throw her a party. Dash almost snickered as Pinkie blathered on. Everything was already set up at Sugarcube Corner. Cupcakes and punch, just for the six of them. Did she want to go?

No, she didn’t. She wanted to go lie in bed and never have to try or fail at anything ever again. But Pinkie did, that blessedly innocent, beautiful mare did. So she nodded yes.

Pinkie smiled the biggest smile Dash had ever seen. They were going to have so much fun. They were going to play pin the tail on the pony, and dance all night, and eat a gazillion cupcakes...

Rainbow Dash sighed.

She silently walked alongside Pinkie on the dark road into town, her hooves splashing in little pools of water with every step. At some point, an umbrella had begun floating over her head. Twilight and Rarity exchanged mysterious glances to each other over the sides of their shoulders. Fluttershy and Applejack followed somewhere behind where Dash couldn’t see.

____________________________________________________________

“Have you heard what Concerto did at the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra Anniversary last week?” Rarity asked, her voice dripping with false enthusiasm.

Rainbow Dash slowly shook her head. It hadn’t taken long to reach Sugarcube Corner. Just like Pinkie had said, a party was waiting for them. Streamers, balloons, and confetti littered the floor. It was almost like everything was back to normal.

“Oh.” Rarity’s smile faltered for the briefest of moments before returning. She rested her hooves on the table she, Dash, and Twilight were gathered around, leaning forward. “Well, have you visited the Canterlot Royal Gardens recently? I hear their newest displays are quite breathtaking.”

Rainbow Dash shook her head again, not noticing the hoof Twilight jabbed into Rarity's side. She did notice Fluttershy standing by the snack table, filling what must have been her hundredth glass of punch. Applejack was sitting in a booth by herself, hat drawn low over her face. She couldn’t see Pinkie anywhere. Maybe she'd left.

“So...” Twilight began, searching for something to say not related to Canterlot, the Wonderbolts, or flying, but drew a blank. Instead, they all sat together in heavy silence.

“Who wants to play pin the tail on the pony?” Pinkie cried, jumping on top of the table from nowhere.

“Well, that sounds lovely,” Rarity answered. “How about you, Rainbow?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head. At least her mane had finally dried.

“Oh.” Rarity’s smile faltered again. “Perhaps later then.”

“What’s with all these mopey faces?” Pinkie asked, a truly puzzled expression on her face. “This is a party, and parties are for happy faces!” She bounced over to where Fluttershy was scooping more punch into her glass. “Hey Fluttershy, let’s dance!”

Fluttershy drew back. “Oh... um... I’m not really in the—”

“Yes you are!” Pinkie shouted, grabbing Fluttershy by the waist and dragging her across the floor.

Fluttershy attempted to wriggle out of Pinkie’s grip, but it was no use. She was trapped. “Pinkie please, I really don—”

“Let’s go!” Pinkie grabbed Fluttershy by the shoulders and spun her around in a circle. “Woo!”

“Pinkie!” Fluttershy shouted, drawing stares from everypony in the room, including Rainbow Dash. “I said no.”

Pinkie’s smile never once wavered, but her eyes closed. “Okie dokie. No dancing then. That’s totally fine.”

Fluttershy muttered an apology and returned to her place by the punch, leaving Pinkie Pie standing alone in the middle of the room.

“Alright, fine.” Applejack stepped out from the corner she’d been sitting in. “I’m the pony who’s gonna have to say it then.” She looked right at Rainbow Dash, ignoring the angry glares from the two unicorns. “Why did you do it?”

Pinkie’s smile vanished, her eyes still closed.

“Do what?” Dash asked.

Applejack rolled her eyes and scowled. “You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about. How could you do something so awful?”

All eyes were on Rainbow Dash again, but she didn’t answer.

Applejack rolled her jaw back and forth. “So that’s how it is then?”

“I didn’t do it,” Rainbow Dash whispered, not even bothering to lift her head up off the table.

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t do it,” Dash repeated, a small fire sparking behind her eyes.

“What?!” Applejack asked, incredulous. “I talked to her, Rainbow. I know it was your fault.”

Dash's head shot up into the air. "What?"

"That's right." Applejack stepped forward. "I went to Canterlot. I went to the hospital right after she woke up, because I didn't believe it. I couldn’t. But I talked to her myself. She told me what you did to her during the race at those tryouts."

“Sh-she lied...” Dash said, looking back down.

“I can tell when somepony’s telling the truth, and she was telling the truth,” Applejack said, stamping her hoof on the floor.

Dash’s wings fluttered a little. “I won. She lost. I never did anything to her.”

“Why do you keep lying?” It was more of a plea than a question, and Applejack’s eyes looked more tired than angry.

“I didn’t do it!”

Applejack sighed and sat back on her haunches, holding her head in her hooves. “Please tell the truth. Just one time.”

“...I didn’t do it,” Dash repeated, quieter that time.

For a long while, Applejack didn’t respond. She just sat on the floor, staring at the pegasus, her face blank.

“Whatever,” she finally said, standing up. “I’m leaving. Whenever you’re ready to tell the truth, you’ll know where to find me.” Passing Dash a sad frown, she walked out the front door.

“I should go too,” Fluttershy said, quickly following Applejack out the door. She stopped in the threshold, but she didn't look back, and walked out.

“But...” Pinkie Pie looked up at the open door. “This is a party... everypony likes parties...”

Rarity stood up and patted the Pinkie on the shoulder. “I’m sorry, but I think the party is over now. Twilight,” she said, frowning. “I believe it is time for us to take our leave.”

Twilight brushed her muzzle against Dash’s forehead in a quick nuzzle before going to stand by the other unicorn. “I’m glad you’re back. Everything’ll be okay. See you two tomorrow.”

Rarity nodded to Pinkie and Dash before turning and trotting out the door, soon followed by Twilight. The door closed behind them.

Silence fell over the bakery once again. Dash rested her head back down on the table.

__________________________________________________

Rainbow Dash trudged past the other potential recruits, ignoring their compliments. She sat back down in her spot on the field they were gathered in and crossed her hooves over her chest. An elaborate cloud obstacle course floated in the blue sky over her head.

“Alright everypony,” the guy who had been supervising their tryouts said, hovering above them. He’d told them his name at the start, but she couldn’t remember it. “That concludes the agility portion of today’s tryouts. The results have been recorded. Now if you’ll follow me, I’ll take you all over to the next testing area.”

The other dozen or so pegasi began gliding away. Dash wiped a bit of sweat out of her eyes and squinted up at the scoreboard one last time.

1. Razorwind - 53.10

2. Rainbow Dash - 53.40

That was it. She wasn’t going to make it. She could already tell. She absently followed behind the crowd of pegasi. She’d had a chance to actually become a Wonderbolt. That one chance she’d been waiting her entire life for, and she was blowing it. She abruptly bumped into something hard.

“Hey!” The pony she’d run into turned around to glare at her.

Dash muttered an apology and lowered herself down to the ground. They’d arrived in another empty field. Just like the last, the clouds had been arranged into some sort of obstacle course. It looked simple enough. Dash felt her confidence begin to return. She could make it through this one easy.

The supervisor hovered above them again, waving his leg to get their attention. “Okay, this one’s a simple race. First pony to pass through each of the markers in order wins. Easy as that.”

Dash looked over at the blue mare who’d introduced herself as ‘Razorwind’. She didn’t look particularly impressive. Her white mane was tied up in a stupid little ponytail, and she was a little bit smaller than Dash herself. Her wings didn’t look like they stretched as far as Dash’s did either, but somehow she always managed to be just a little faster than her. Dash just needed to find some way to even the playfield.

She noticed Razorwind was looking back at her, smirking. Dash turned back to the obstacle course. No doubt about it, she could do this. All she had to do was win this race, and she would prove once and for all who the real Wonderbolt was.

“Remember,” the supervisor continued. “You’ll all be flying together on this one. Get enough ponies going through a single turn at speeds this high, and it’ll only take one careless mistake to cause a serious accident. Be careful.”

_________________________________________________

“I believe you.”

“What?” Dash asked, breaking out of her quiet musings. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since all her friends had left. She and Pinkie hadn’t moved in what seemed like hours, or maybe it had only been minutes.

“I believe you.” Pinkie’s smile had returned. It was smaller than usual, but it was there.

Dash looked up at her, meeting her sky blue eyes. She loved the sky. “Why?”

Pinkie shrugged. “Because you said you didn’t do it.” As if it was that simple.

“...But I did.” Dash dropped her head, a sob creeping its way into her chest. “I just wanted to mess her up. I didn’t know she would get hurt so bad.”

She felt a hoof under her chin, pulling her head back up. Pinkie’s smile was still there. “I forgive you.”

“What?!” Dash cried, surprised at the force of her own voice. “But... why?”

Pinkie leaned forward, wrapping a foreleg around the pegasus’s shoulder and pressed her lips against her forehead. “Because I love you,” she said, her breath hot on Dash’s skin.

Dash gently pushed her away. “You’re such a stupid idiot.”

Pinkie Pie blinked, at a loss for words for what must have been the first time in her life. “...What?”

“You’re a stupid idiot,” Dash said, simply. She didn’t shout or sneer, there was no anger in her voice. “You’d have to be to love somepony like me.”

“Dashie,” Pinkie said quietly. “Just because you mess up one time—”

“Shut up!” Dash held her hooves up to her ears. “I hurt her.”

“I know, and that’s really bad, but that doesn’t make you a bad pony.” Pinkie moved forward to grab her in another hug, but Dash jumped out of her chair, out of her marefriend’s reach.

Dash shook her head. “You don’t get it. I did it on purpose.” She slumped onto her haunches. She felt so tired. “I did it on purpose and I didn’t even care. I was so happy I won that I didn’t even care. Everypony hates me now, and you should too.”

Pinkie smiled again and reached a hoof out to touch Dash’s shoulder. “There’s nothing you could do that could ever make me hate you.”

“Why?” Dash cried, knocking Pinkie’s hoof away. “Why are you doing this? Why would you forgive me?”

Pinkie rested her hoof back on Dash’s shoulder. “Because you’re a good pony. Because I love you, even if I really hate what you did, and I know you love me too.”

Dash opened her mouth to retort, but Pinkie shoved a hoof in her mouth.

“Because even that time when I was being a sad, grumpy pants and having parties with turnips,” Pinkie continued, leaning forward. “You came for me and showed me that my friends still cared about me. So even though you’re being a sad, grumpy pants now, I’m gonna stay here for you and show you that your friends still care about you. Even if it means we have to hug, and snuggle, and cry, and yell at each other all night. Because I never smile as big as I do when you’re around, and it isn’t even worth smiling at all if you’re not smiling too.”

Dash let out a long sigh. “Pinkie... I really messed—”

“And never doing anything about it but being sad all the time is only gonna make it messier,” Pinkie said, jabbing her in the shoulder. She leaned forward and kissed Dash’s forehead again, lowering her voice, “You just have to be as good a pony as you can be.”

Yesterday morning, Mr. Cake asked me to watch some cinnamon rolls while he changed the twins’ diapers, but I forgot.” Pinkie’s voice dropped. “And they all got burnt. Mr. Cake got mad at me, and I felt really bad. But I just kept on going, and we made a whole new batch of cinnamon rolls, and they were the tastiest cinnamon rolls we ever made. Mr. Cake even said so too!” Dash could feel Pinkie’s lips spread in a smile against her forehead.

Dash snorted. “That’s not the same at all, and you know it.”

“Yes it is,” Pinkie said, moving back to look Dash in the eyes. “It doesn’t matter how big or small the mistake is. You don’t just give up. That would be silly. You keep going until you make tastier cinnamon rolls!” She wrapped both of her forelegs around Dash’s chest and held her close.

Dash let herself melt into the embrace. Maybe it was finally confessing what she’d done, maybe it was the realization that somepony still loved her, maybe it was being forgiven for the first time, maybe it was just the feeling of being held, or maybe it was the tale of the burnt cinnamon rolls. Whatever the reason, finally, Rainbow Dash cried.

She grabbed Pinkie in her hooves, laid her muzzle against her marefriend’s shoulder and, for the first time since it had all started, cried. She let all the frustration, sorrow, confusion, anger, and hurt pour out of her eyes in wet tears. She cried for what seemed like forever, just leaning against Pinkie’s warm chest, feeling a hoof stroking her mane.

Even after the tears had stopped, and Dash’s chest had long since ceased shaking with silent sobs, they stayed that way. They held onto each other, separated from the rest of the world.

“Pinkie, I really screwed up, and I don’t know what to do to fix it.”

It seemed like an eternity before Pinkie answered, when she finally did, her voice was quiet, “I don’t know either.”

Dash almost laughed, she would have if Pinkie’s words hadn’t felt like a permanent damnation.

“But.” Pinkie kissed her on the snout. “I think if you stop lying, and say you’re sorry, that would be a good place to start.”

Dash rubbed her eyes with her hoof to wipe away the last of the moisture, and pressed her head against Pinkie’s chest, listening to Pinkie's steady heartbeat. “I can try. But everypony will still be mad at me. ”

“It might take a really long time. But no pony can stay mad forever, especially at somepony as cute as you.” The vibrations in the Pinkie’s throat tickled Dash’s head. “Especially if you stop being such a grumpy pony and start acting nice like you used to.”

“What about Applejack?” Dash asked, looking up. “I’m pretty sure she hates me.”

“You say the silliest things sometimes.” Pinkie giggled, tightening the embrace. “Applejack could never hate you. She’s really mad at you. But she still likes you, she just wants you to tell the truth.”

Dash sniffed. “I’ll try.”

“No you won’t,” Pinkie said. “You’ll do it. I know you will.”

Dash frowned. She couldn’t remember the last time somepony had actually believed in her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d deserved it. But she realized Pinkie still did. After everything she’d done, somehow Pinkie still believed in her.

“Thank you,” Dash said, reaching up and pulling Pinkie in for a quick kiss. She silently swore to herself on her own life she would never let her marefriend down again.

“That’s what Pinkie Pie’s here for,” Pinkie chirped. “Hey, do you wanna play pin the tail on the pony now?”

“I’m sorry, Pinkie. I’m really not in the mood right now.” Dash remembered what she’d just sworn. “But tomorrow. I promise I will tomorrow.”

“Hmmm...” Pinkie rubbed the bottom of her chin with a hoof, deep in thought. “Do you wanna go snuggle in my bed and make out?”

Dash snickered, smiling for the first time that day.

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Awesome!” Pinkie started bouncing towards the stairs, still not letting go of Rainbow Dash.

Dash allowed herself be half dragged-half carried up the stairs without any protest. She wrapped her tail around Pinkie’s, just enjoying the feeling of being held by another pony.

Next Chapter: Epilogue: Reunion Estimated time remaining: 14 Minutes
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