Looney Ponies: Friendship is Looney!by Nathan Traveler
Chapters
Discord Cracks Up
Canterlot Gardens, Midnight...
All was quiet and peaceful in Canterlot, as Luna's beautiful and mysterious moon cast its light onto the sleeping populace. An incredibly old Earth pony whistled a jolly tune as he pushed a cart filled with various gardening tools in front of him.
He was the Royal Gardener, or as he liked to call it, The Royal Weed Whacker. As the Unicorns constantly used their magic to shape the hedges and rosebushes, he didn't really have much to do, except pull weeds and make sure that there weren't any moles digging up the roots. He didn't mind though. To be honest, he preferred the silent work, as it gave him time to think, something he couldn't do in the hustle and bustle of the day. His name was Grass Trimmer, and he had been the Royal Weed Whacker for over thirty-five years now.
He made his rounds around the garden, tugging weeds, and cleaning the bird waste off of statues, making sure that all was perfectly clean. He smiled thoughtfully, as he came upon an infamous statue of a creature that was a medley of various body parts.
"Wonder what's going on in yer head?" Trimmer wondered, as he wiped a particularly large piece of feces off of the statue's eye. "Chances are, probably nuthin'. I mean, yer just a stature, now aren'cha?" He cackled slightly, and spit on the statue's face.
"That's what I think of yer chaos. I hope I don' live to see the day you get freed again..." He laughed, and trotted off, whistling as he went.
He didn't notice the small cracks that had formed on the statue's back...
An insane laughter could be heard, echoing throughout the silent night.
XHXHXHXH
Ponyville Town Library, the next day...
Twilight Sparkle yawned, and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Using her magic, she levitated a small hairbrush to her mane, which she then attempted to organize. The smell of sizzling vegetables wafted in through her open door, and she felt her mouth start watering at the enticing aroma. Her stomach grumbled, urging her to hurry and finish brushing her hair so it could attack the meal which awaited her.
"I know, I know!" Twilight grumbled at her stomach. She finished putting the last strand of hair into place, and then trotted down the stairs, saying, "Good morning Spike! Breakfast sure smells good!"
The baby purple and green dragon looked up from the pan he was currently poking with a spatula. He gave Twilight a big smile, and said, "Thanks!" He hopped down from the stool he was standing on, and he tipped the pan's precious contents onto a plate. "I've been up all morning, working on it for you!"
Twilight walked over to the plate, inhaling deeply. "It smells great Spike! But how long have you been up?"
Spike grinned, and said, "Since eight!"
Twilight raised an eyebrow, and asked, "What do you want Spike?"
Spike blushed, and turned back to the stove, saying, "What? Your number one assistant can't just decide to do something nice for you?"
Twilight just stared at the small purple dragon.
He sighed, and turned off the stove. "Fine...Can we go to Canterlot today? I haven't had any of Pony Joe's doughnuts in FOREVER! And as much as I like Pinkie Pie's cupcakes, they're just not the same!" Spike drooled, as he remembered the taste of what could arguably be called the greatest doughnuts in all of Equestria.
The lavender unicorn giggled, and started eating her meal. "Of course we can go. I've been meaning to get some new books for the library anyways. Maybe we can see if the others want to come too, I'm sure they'd love to actually get a tour of Canterlot!"
Spike chuckled. "Yeah, because when we went to the Gala you all kind of went crazy, and when we went there for Rarity, they only saw the garden!"
Twilight grimaced, and said, "You're never going to let us forget about that, are you?"
"Nope!"
XHXHXHXHXHXXH
After breakfast, Twilight and Spike gathered the rest of their friends, and extended the invitation to go to Canterlot to them.
"Wah, I'd love to Twi!" Applejack had said, while bucking the apples off of another tree. "Ah just gotta get these apples into the barn, and Big Macintosh'll take care of the rest!"
"Oooooh! Canterlot! We can get more of those really yummy doughnuts!" Pinkie had said, skipping around in happiness. Spike grinned when she said that, and couldn't have agreed more with her.
"Well I do believe that I am running low on certain fabrics that can only be purchased at Canterlot...I would love to go!" Rarity exclaimed, already packing a set of saddlebags with seemingly random articles of clothing.
"Oh, um, I guess if you really want me to, since the animals are all hibernating for the winter," Fluttershy stated quietly, a small spark of excitement in her eyes.
Rainbow Dash didn't even need to be asked. If there was even a slim chance of seeing her heroes, The Wonderbolts, then she would go.
As all of the Ponies met at the library, a large chariot pulled by four of the Royal Guards of Princess Celestia herself landed just outside. Twilight looked at the chariot in confusion, and said, "But I didn't ask for a chariot! I was jut going to teleport us all there!"
One of the Pegasi walked away from the main group, and in a stern voice, said, "Princess Celestia requests that Twilight Sparkle, and the rest of the Elements of Harmony, report to Canterlot Castle for an Emergency Meeting with The Princesses."
"But I didn't get a letter or anything!" Twilight said, right as Spike belched out a tongue of green fire that shaped itself into a sealed scroll.
"Oh...Never mind," She said sheepishly, after reading the scroll. She turned to the rest of her friends, and said, "Girls, it looks like we're gonna have to go sight-seeing later. Right now, we're needed!"
The ponies all agreed, although Rainbow Dash huffed a little in annoyance, and they jumped into the chariot, wondering what could possibly be happening now...
XHXHXHXHXH
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna both sat in their thrones, anxiously waiting for the Elements to arrive.
"Tia?" Luna said hesitantly, looking at her older sister.
"Yes?"
"Do you really think that we can do anything now? I mean, Discord-"
She was cut off, as a Royal Guard opened the door to the throne room, and announced in a loud voice, "Your Majesties, Twilight Sparkle, and friends, have arrived."
The regal Alicorn nodded her head, and said in an authoritative voice, "Show them in."
The Guard bowed, and opened the door wider, allowing the confused ponies to enter.
"You are dismissed," Princess Celestia said to the Guard. He bowed once more, and left, closing the door behind him. Once he was gone, Celestia looked at the six friends, and said, "It is good to see you all once again, but I'm afraid we don't have much time, so I'll just get straight to the point: Discord has escaped his prison once again, and the Elements of Harmony are nowhere to be found. We discovered this when we found the Royal Gardener, Grass Trimmer, encased in stone and...other substances."
Everypony gasped, and Celestia continued, saying, "He has already started to spread chaos through Manehatten, Appleloosa, and a large section of the Everfree Forest has been showing signs of Discord's brand of magic."
"But wait," Twilight said when Celestia stopped to take a breath. "Why hasn't he tried to attack Canterlot, or even Ponyville, like he did last time?"
Princess Celestia shook her head, and Luna answered, "We can't say for certain. Discord has always been unpredictable, always acting in the better interest of Chaos."
"Oh, I should say so Princess Looney!" A voice suddenly said in a gleeful voice. Everypony in the room gasped, and looked around, searching for the speaker. "Oh, My Little Ponies! It is soooooo good to see you again!"
One of the tapestries shifted, as if blown by a gentle breeze, and the draconequs appeared form behind it, a mad smile on his lips.
"Discord!" Celestia snarled, her horn already glowing. Luna stood beside her sister, as they charged their magic, watching the Spirit of Chaos warily.
"Oh really, Celestia, you simply MUST learn to lighten up a little bit! So what if I turned that gardener into a statue, and had birds relieve themselves all over him?" Discord said, examining his nails. "If he wasn't going to take proper care of my stature, then he needed to be taught a lesson!"
"What do you want Discord?" Luna shouted, almost slipping into the Royal Speaking Voice (also known as Caps Lock).
Discord laughed, and replied, "Oh, just the usual. Chaos, revenge, and a nice little summer home on the beach!" He snapped his fingers, and a red and yellow Hawaiian shirt appeared on him, as he sipped on a coconut drink.
"Well don't get too excited Discord!" Applejack called out, glaring at him. "We beat you once, we can do it again!"
"Yeah! Bring it on you big pile of meanie!" Pinkie said, hopping next to her farmpony friend.
He laughed, and said, "Sorry, but I'm in a bit of a hurry today! I still have to clip my toenails, make a few cotton candy fog banks (because clouds are SO second season) and of course, make sure that you can't find the Elements! Arrivederci!" He vanished in a cloud of twinkling lights, and left the ponies with worried looks on their faces.
"Wait, why didn't he give us a riddle like last time?" Rainbow Dash asked, gulping audibly. She wasn't ever one to back down from a challenge, but she didn't like their chances without the Elements...
"Princess Luna did say he was unpredictable," Twilight responded.
Luna nodded, and said, "I fear that our power may not be enough to deal with this threat. 'Tia, do you have any ideas?"
Celestia was silent, as she considered the idea that had come to her last night, when she found out about Discord's escape, and then subsequent theft of The Elements. It was a slightly desperate move, but from what she knew of Discord...It might be their only chance.
"There is one solution that I have been considering..." Celestia answered hesitantly. "But I'm afraid it might be too risky to try..."
"What is it?" Luna asked, worried by Celestia's hesitance. Her sister was always one who could make swift, decisive movements and choices for her ponies, and if she was hesitant...
"It would require both Twilight Sparkle, and I, and perhaps you as well Luna, but...we could summon warriors from another universe to fight Discord for us, while we search for the Elements of Harmony."
Everypony started talking at once, causing an incredibly loud racket, until Luna spoke in the Royal Speaking Voice, and called out, "QUIET!"
Luna looked to her sister, and said, "Are you sure 'Tia? Summoning spells are incredibly difficult, and if we aren't completely focused, we might accidentally summon something worse than we intended."
Celestia nodded, and said, "I know. But I'm afraid it might be our only hope of stopping Discord. Twilight? If you are willing, I'd like to start the spell now, instead of later."
Twilight nodded her head, and eagerly said, "If it will help stop Discord, I'll gladly do it!"
The Princesses were unsurprised by the answer, and they stepped down from their thrones, until they stood in the center of the room, where Twilight met them. "I assume you are already familiar with such spells Twilight?" Celestia asked, as her horn glowed.
"Yes. We simply need to pool our magic together, and focus our thoughts on who we want to summon."
"Good. Now remember: Focus only on three things: A group that works well together, a group that can do the impossible, and a group that has enough wit to counter Discord's chaos!"
They all closed their eyes, and focused, touching their horns together. Lights started flashing, and a sudden burst of wind started shaking the tapestries. Applejack had to hold onto her hat, in order to stop it from flying off of her head, and Pinkie had pulled out a small kite, and was currently flying it in the wind.
With a final flash, the three magic users were suddenly pushed against the walls, the force of their magic causing them to be launched. Twilight was the first to recover, as she looked at the brave team of heroes in front of them...
"Who are they?" She asked, her eyes widening.
Celestia looked over, and gasped in surprise. She turned her head to Luna, who winced, and said, "I might have been distracted...That insult, 'Princess Looney,' just wouldn't leave my head."
All of the ponies looked at the group in front of them, as a gray form with incredibly long ears stood up, and took in his surroundings. He munched on a carrot, and shook his head.
"I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque!"
Meet the Tunes
Royal Throne Room...just after the last Chapter.
Twilight's jaw dropped at the sight of the six creatures. These are supposed to be our brave heroes? They don't look like heroes at all! More like...like... She stopped that train of thought when she realized that she didn't have anything to compare them to. They were things that she'd never seen before in her life!
The figure, which she realized was an anthropomorphic rabbit, looked over at her, and his ear twitched. He scratched his head, and said, "Pardon me doc, but you wouldn't happen to know where we are, would you?"
Twilight could only stare, stunned. "You can talk...this can't be real..." She managed to stammer out.
"Well of course this is real!" The rabbit exclaimed, tossing the carrot stub behind him. "If I wasn't real, could I do...this?"
With that, the rabbit grabbed Twilight's face in both of his hands, and planted a huge, slobbery kiss right on her mouth. Twilight's eyes widened in shock, and she pushed him away, while wiping at her tongue in a panicked frenzy. "Ewewewewewewewew!" She shouted, attempting to wipe off the flavor of that kiss.
"Now what's all this, I said, what's all this hub-ub?" A new voice asked in an accent that was surprisingly like Applejack's. A massive white figure, with a brown colored head and large yellow beak stood up, dusting off his knees as he did so. He looked over at the slightly wet faced unicorn, and the laughing rabbit, and shook his head, chuckling. He turned to the other stunned ponies, and said in a knowing voice, "Now, I reckon someone wasn't thinking straight, and they said something like, 'He can't be real', right?"
Applejack was the first to recover from her initial shock, and she nodded. "That's about what happened."
The Rooster laughed uproariously, slapping his stomach in his mirth. "Oh, that's rich, I say, I say, that's richer than my Grannie's homemade pea soup!" He brushed a few tears away, and looked at the orange pony again. "Well, pardon me miss, but it seems I've forgotten my manners! Foghorn Leghorn's m'name," He said, tipping an invisible hat, and extending a massive, white feathered hand.
Applejack decided that she liked this newcomer, and she instantly grabbed his hand, and started shaking it in true Apple family fashion. "Well Howdy-Do there Mister Leghorn! Mah name is Applejack, and it's a pleasure making yer acquaintance!"
The Rooster grinned. "Well I'll be, I ain't had my hand shaken like that since my Pappy taught me that a good handshake is the first step in a good impression! And you Miss Jack, have just made a fine one!"
Meanwhile, another of the figures had started to awaken, and he blinked quickly, unsure of what was going on. The last thing he remembered was snatching some cheese from that loudmouth duck, and then poof! He and his friends were falling into...nothing.
"Madre de Dios," He groaned, adjusting the sombrero on his head. Glancing around, a rainbow maned Pegasus caught his eye, and he zipped over, faster than almost everypony could make out.
"Excuse me senorita!" Rainbow Dash looked around, snapped out of her daze, and looked down. A small mouse wearing a sombrero was waving at her. "Si! Down here!"
"Who the hay are you?" Dash asked, glaring at the mouse suspiciously.
"I am Speedy Gonzalez, the fastest mouse in aaalll of Mexico!" Speedy said proudly, pronouncing Mexico as "Meh-Hee-Co."
Rainbow Dash forgot all of her suspicion, as a familiar glint appeared in her eyes. "Is that so? Well I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier in all of Equestria!"
"Ees that where we are?" Speedy questioned, tapping his foot.
"Yeah, that's right! Hey, while you're here, how about a race?" Rainbow Challenged, lowering her head so she could meet the mouse, and look him in the eye.
"Maybe later senorita, but I'd like to see if my amigos are okay," Speedy laughed, excited at the prospect of racing someone who could match his speed...other than the Road Runner of course.
Rainbow Dash huffed, but she couldn't help but agree with the mouse's loyalty.
A fourth figure picked himself up, grumbling all the while. He readjusted his bill, which had become slightly lopsided in the crash, and said, "Ever since that moronic hunter tried blasting me in the face, my bill hasn't ever been the same...Alright Rabbit, where are we now?"
He searched the room, and then his eyes widened as he beheld the magnificent gemstone necklace on a white unicorn. He didn't care in the slightest that he was in a room filled with mythical creatures that shouldn't exist. I mean, did you SEE the diamonds on that baby!? Dollar signs appeared in the black duck's eyes, as he eyed the necklace appreciatively.
"Forget that question! Why haven't we come here sooner!" He shouted, running over to the confused unicorn. He skidded to a halt, landing on one knee, and held the necklace in trembling hands. "Just look at the almost perfectly cut diamonds on this one of a kind, custom made, gold royalty style chain! They must be worth a fortune!"
Rarity blushed, and said, "Oh, this old thing? I just decided to throw it on for the occasion. It's not everyday you get summoned by royalty...Oh, but where are my manners? My name is Rarity, proud owner of the Carousel Boutique in Ponyville, where you can find some of the most exquisite and tasteful outfits in all of Equestria!"
Daffy Duck only heard one thing before going off into la-la land. "Royalty hmm? That means that we're in the presence of rulers...wise beings...noble creatures...LOADED WITH MONEY!" He jumped up, his semi-greedy little heart pounding in excitement. "Yes! I'm gonna be rich! RICH RICH RICH RICH RICH!" He started bouncing around the room, making his trademark, "Hoo-hoohoo-hoo-hoo" Sound, and he was quickly joined by Pinkie Pie, who started bouncing around with him, giggling as she did so.
"You're funny mister!" Pinkie said, giggling when she passed the Duck on the ceiling.
"And you're pink!" He replied, grinning. He didn't know why, but he liked this weird horsey thing.
The last two figures woke up at the same time, and one shook their head, sending drops of slobber everywhere. He looked at his friend, and started snarling and jabbering incoherently to the tall, almost emancipated figure besides him.
"I can't quite say, my good chum," The figure replied, apparently able to understand what the other was saying. "But I must admit, this place does seem rather intriguing..." He cast his intelligent gaze around the room, where it landed on a unicorn who was still watching Daffy bounce around the room in confusion. He cleared his throat, and held out a small business card to the unicorn.
Rarity eyed the card, and used her magic to lift it in front of her face, not really reading it. She looked at the figure, who extended a hand, and said in a polite and intelligent sounding voice, "Please pardon my Colleague, Daffy Duck, he tends to get a little excitable at the prospects of a potential opportunity to increase his wealth."
Rarity took the hand in her hoof, and shook it daintily. "It's quite alright. At least it would appear that you know proper etiquette. My name is Rarity, proud owner of the Carousel Boutique."
The Coyote bowed, and replied, "It is an honor to meet a pony with such an exceptional sense of style. May I have the honor of introducing myself?"
Rarity nodded, delighted to meet someone that met her level of sophistication. It wasn't that she didn't love her friends, but she did appreciate the occasional pony (or in this case, alien) of high quality. Although she did have to admit he appeared rather malnourished.
"As it says on my card, my name is Wile E. Coyote, and I am, in both profession and lifestyle, a genius," He said, placing his hand over his chest in a gentleman's bow.
"A genius? Why it sounds as if you would get along famously with my friend, Twilight Sparkle. She is the unicorn who just got, erm, kissed by the rabbit..."
"Oh? Another intellect for me to match wits with? Delightful! I shall make her acquaintance at once, but first, there is the matter of dealing wi-" Wile E. looked up suddenly, and pointed at the last, unknown figure, and shouted, "TAZ, PUT THAT DOWN, THIS INSTANT!"
The Tasmanian Devil looked over, a large statue of a pony held over his head, as he opened his jaws to devour it. He snarled, and set it down, crossing his arms in a huff. Going into a frenzied spin, he whirled around the room in a fierce brown tornado of fangs and claws, searching for something to satisfy his hunger. He stopped in front of a butterscotch yellow winged-horsey (as Daffy had told him they were called) and started snarling and waving his hands about.
Instead of being frightened, as everypony expected, Fluttershy smiled softly, and nodded her head at the beast, already guessing what kind of animal he was. "Oh, you poor baby, you're just hungry, aren't you?" She cooed, reaching into a set of saddlebags. "Don't worry, I have just the thing for you!"
Taz took on a look of confusion, which quickly changed into one of happy surprise when Fluttershy hoofed him a small pile of dried apple slices. He quickly snatched them from her hooves, and devoured them quickly, leaving a mess of drool all over the throne room.
The rabbit wiped off the small bits of saliva that had hit him, and said, "Say it, don't spray it Taz."
Taz burped, and said in a gutteral, growling voice, "Sorry." He then looked at the winged-horsey, and grinned, baring all of his razor sharp teeth, as his small stubby tail wagged happily.
Fluttershy smiled, not at all intimidated by the ferocious appearance, and patted his head gently. "You're just a big ole' hungry fella, aren't you? Yes you are, Yes you are!"
She proceeded to scratch his stomach, and Taz started kicking his legs just like a dog would.
While all of this was happening, Princess Celestia looked on, smiling. She had a feeling that there was more to these creatures than they could guess, but right now...
"If I could please have everypon- Or, I should say, everyone's attention," She called out. Everything in the room stopped, and looked at the Princess politely. "I am sure that you would all like to know why you are here, is that correct?"
The group of creatures looked to the rabbit, and he nodded, saying, "Yeah, that might be a nice way to start things."
Celestia nodded, and said, "Alright. Now, as I'm sure you all have figured out by now..."
XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX
After the situation was explained, the creatures were silent, as they thought about what they were told. They were unsurprised, and as Daffy had put it, "Well, I guess this is Karma. We asked a basketball player from another world to help us, and now WE'RE the ones who need to help out...But what's in it for us?"
Before Celestia could say anything, a mad cackle cut her off, as Discord reappeared, grinning wildly.
"Celestia! You actually changed the game up a little!" He said proudly, flying over the newcomers. "I'm impressed! Just look at these things! Wherever did you find them?"
Daffy spoke up then, and spat out, "Probably not the mysthical scrap heap! Unlike you of course!"
Instead of getting mad, Discord's smile grew even larger. "And they even know how to say decent insults! Oh, this is WONDERFUL! Now this will be a truly wondrous game!" He rubbed his hands together gleefully, as he considered all of the chaos these new creatures could cause. Oh, what glorious fun he would have!
The rabbit stepped forward, and while munching on another carrot that Fluttershy had been so kind as to provide for him, said, "Eh...What's up 'Cord?"
Discord teleported in front of the rabbit, and said, "Now who might you be, rabbit?"
"The name's Bugs. Bugs Bunny."
The Chaotic being then appeared behind him, and snatched the carrot out of his mouth. "And WHY do you keep trying to eat while I'm talking to you? Don't you know it's impolite to eat while others are talking?" He said, a glint of anger in his voice.
Bugs shrugged nonchalantly, and pulled out a small book from his apparently invisible pocket. "Well don't YOU know the foist thing about challenging dimensionally displaced heroes?"
Discord was, for the first time in his life, dumbstruck. "There are RULES!?"
Bugs laughed, and while Discord wasn't looking, crossed out the title of the book with a red pen, and wrote in, "Chaos for Dummies" over it.
"Of course! Why, just look at page 231, right here!" Bugs shoved the book in front of Discord's face, and slammed it shut on his nose, leaving it comically flat. "It says that if something new is thrown in by the challenged, then the challenger has to throw in a hint to make things fair!"
Discord frowned, and reshaped his nose back into its normal shape. "Let me see that book!" He said, reaching out to take it."
"Ah, ah, ah! Sorry Doc, but you should have studied before you got us into this!" Bugs said, hurriedly stuffing the book back into his pocket. "Thems the rules you know, right fellas?"
All of Bugs' friends nodded, and pretended to agree with him. Discord sighed exasperatedly, and said, "Fine. Even I have to go by my own rules...Very well. Your precious Elements can be found in places where I have and haven't been!"
Rainbow Dash scowled, and said, "That isn't a good hint! What do you expect us to do with that!?"
Discord laughed mockingly, and answered, "Well that just seems to be your problem! I gave you a hint, and now you have to-" He stopped for a moment, and poofed up a pair of sunglasses that rested on his head. "Deal with it."
There was the sudden sound of an explosion, and a piercing voice yelled out, "YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!" while Discord disappeared, leaving all confused.
Bugs glared where his carrot now lay on the ground, and then he looked at all of the ponies. With a familiar ear twitch that his friends recognized, he slowly said, "Of course, you do realize, that THIS. Means war!"
Celestia sighed in relief, and looked at Bugs. "That was fairly clever, tricking Discord into giving us a hint, vague as it may be...Perhaps you are the heroes Equestria needs right now."
"Speaking of which," Wile E. cut in. "But might I make a suggestion? If Ponyville is, as you say, untouched by this being's brand of magic, then might we stay there for the time being, as we try and puzzle out that riddle, and get to know more about the way this world works?"
Foghorn smacked him on the back, and said loudly, "Now that's a mighty fine idea there Cai-yote! Why didn't ya say somethin' earlier?" He then picked the coyote up, and set him on his feet, grumbling, "Stand up boy, you're tripping over your feet again!"
Wile E. sighed, and nodded, by now used to the Rooster's rough and tumble manner.
Celestia considered it, and looked at Luna. They both nodded, and Luna said, "That is, as the Rooster said, an excellent idea."
"Twilight, you are hereby charged with familiarizing these newcomers with the workings of Equestria, and I would also ask that you find them a place to sleep for the duration of their stay."
Twilight bowed, and said, "It would be my pleasure." She looked at the others, and said to herself, I feel sorry for whoever has to stay with Bugs though...
And with that, they all left for Ponyville, each of the Looney Tunes eager to learn about this world for their own various reason.
"Those gems! Could there be anymore like that?! Oh, I'll be RICH!"
"I reckon that there Farmpony might know her way around a ranch! Wonder how they grow things here?"
"Wah, hubllealiba wubba!"
"I wonder if this poni really is as fast as she says she is?"
"What sort of technologies do these ponies have? Could my inventions finally be used for good now?"
"Eh, I'm just in it for the adventure!"
Equestria, get ready to meet....The Tune Squad!
The Gem In Daffy's Eye
Ponyville Town Library, Six Hours later...
"So this is where you live?" Daffy said/spat. "You live in a LIBRARY? Pfft, Neeeerrrrrrd."
All six of the Tunes, plus the six mares, had just reached the library, which had been volunteered as the temporary base of operations, at least until they could figure out where everyone would be staying, and until they could figure out Discord's riddle. Wile E. in particular had gotten a particularly alarming smile on his face when he heard that Twilight also used it to create different potions and scientific experiments. Bugs silently promised to keep an eye on him, since he was still cleaning out the results of the coyote's last "Experiment" from his rabbit hole.
"Yes, I live in a library!" Twilight replied, somewhat defensively. "There's nothing wrong with that!"
Bugs munched on his carrot, and clamped his hand over Daffy's mouth when he opened it to spit out a retort. After he gave the duck a look that plainly told him, shaddap, he looked at Twilight and said, "What he meant to say was, 'You have a lovely home,' isn't that right, Daffy?"
Daffy glared at Bugs, but crossed his arms, and nodded reluctantly. As soon as Bugs removed his hand, Daffy opened his mouth to say something, until his beak suddenly snapped backwards, and slapped him in the face.
While the tunes laughed at this, Fluttershy flew over to Daffy, and said, "Oh, you poor, poor, thing! Are you alright?"
Daffy grumbled incoherently, and pushed his beak back down, resetting it onto his face. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He stomped over to the library door, and stopped, his hands on his hips, turning to look at the still laughing tunes. "Are you quite done yet?"
Just as he said that, the door opened suddenly, revealing a surprised and very relieved looking Spike, and slammed Daffy against the side of the library, flattening him in a familiar fashion. The tunes laughed even harder at this, and even the kind-hearted Fluttershy had to suppress a few giggles.
"What's going on?" Spike asked, not knowing he had just made a Daffy-Pancake. He then noticed the tunes for the first time, and his eyes widened. "Who are these guys?"
Foghorn peeled Daffy off of the wall, and gave him a quick set of shakes in order to restore him to his 3D shape. He set Daffy down on the ground, and then turned to the baby dragon.
"Well Howdy there, squirt! Foghorn Leghorn's m'name, and that Duck you just squashed is Daffy," he said, shaking Spike's hand enthusiastically. "Now are you, I say, are you an actual Dragon?" Foghorn asked in slight disbelief.
"Well, yeah!" Spike replied, as is that was obvious. "Are you a giant talking Rooster?"
Foghorn grinned, and let out a deep belly laugh. "The boy's got spunk in him! Now that's what I like to see in a youngin'!"
"Uh, okay then?" Spike looked at the others, and once the introductions were over, he led all twelve of them into the library.
"I stand corrected," Daffy said, as he took in the nearly endless amount of books on the shelves. "You. Are a SUPER nerd."
Wile E. looked at all of the books in awe. In a slightly quiet voice that was normally reserved for Holy ground, he asked, "And you own ALL of these books?"
Twilight blushed, and said, "Well, technically since I live here, I guess you could say that. Although all of these books belong to the library!"
A small smile appeared on Wile E.'s lips, as he picked up a particularly large book titled, Equestria For Beginners. Convenient. He turned to the others, and, clutching the book in his hands, said, "If I could be excused for a moment? I would like to, erm, familiarize myself with the workings of this world."
Twilight shrugged, and led the Genius into the kitchen, where she said, "Feel free to read as much as you like during your stay. But please make sure you put the books back in their proper places, and that you don't damage the books."
"My Dear Sparkle, I would never dream of desecrating such a treasure trove of knowledge!" Wile E. proclaimed, already burying his nose in the book.
"Well, it's nice to meet somepony, er, someone who appreciates knowledge as much as I do," Twilight said, sitting across from Wile E. at the table.
"Oh thank you. As a matter of fact, I'm a bit of a scientist myself," Wile E. said, not even looking up from the book.
"Really?" Twilight said, her interest piqued.
"Yes, as it says on my card, I AM a genius!"
"Would you mind telling me about some of your inventions, or discoveries?"
"It might take a while..."
"We're not doing much tonight, remember?" Twilight argued, leaning closer to the coyote. "Princess Celestia told us that until you know more about this world, you can't leave this library!"
Wile E. put down the book, and sighed. It seemed that he wouldn't get much reading done tonight, unless he answered this Unicorn's questions. Besides, he reasoned, perhaps it is best for everyone to simply get to know one another.
"Very well then. What do you want to know?" Wile E. asked.
"What do you think is your most useful invention?"
Wile E. thought for a moment, before he smiled, and said, "Well, there is one particular little device I'm rather fond of...It's my patented Lump Massager..."
XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX
Daffy held his head in his hands, and let out a long sigh. "I. am. sooooooooooooooo bored!" He said, over-dramatically tossing himself on his chair. "We've been here for foreeeeeeeeverrrrrrr!"
Bugs looked up from his card game (he was attempting to teach Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash poker), and said, "Daffy, it's only been fifteen minutes."
"That's like thirty hours in dog years!" Daffy whined, tossing another book over his shoulder.
Rarity cringed, and said to Bugs, "I can't believe you have to put up with his incessant whining all of the time!"
Applejack snickered, her hoof currently locked around Foghorn's arm in an Arm/hoof wrestling match, and said, "Really, Rarity? Yer the firs' one who's gunna say anythin' bout it?"
Rarity grinned sheepishly, and said, "Well, I realize the irony of the situation, but surely you must agree with me!"
"Oh don't worry Senorita Rarity," Speedy said from on top of a bookshelf. "Ees okay!"
"Yeah," Bugs said, laying down four kings. "But don't call me Shoiley."
Rainbow Dash's eyes widened, and she flung her cards on the table, and folded her forelegs. Pinkie simply giggled, and showed her hand, an impressive five of a kind in her hooves. "I win!" She said, giggling.
Bugs smiled, and started laughing. "I thought I was the only one who knew that trick!"
Dash looked at the cards, and said, "Hey, no fair! You cheated!"
Bugs grinned, and said, "No she didn't! In fact, we forgot about Taz's hand!"
All three of them looked expectantly at the Tasmanian Devil, who was still getting his hair gently brushed by Fluttershy. He liked the feeling, and it had caused him to temporarily forget about the card game.
"Taz?" Bugs said, snapping his fingers in front of him. Taz blinked, and looked at Bugs, confused.
"What have you got for your hand?"
Taz grinned, which caused Rainbow to shift a little nervously in her seat, and put down...
"A Royal Flush!?" Bugs said, laughing. "Taz, you Devil! You've done it again!"
"B-but that's impossible!" Rainbow said, looking at the cards. "I thought there were only four of a kind in a deck! What gives?!"
A familiar gleam appeared in the Bunny's eyes, as he winked conspiratorially at Pinkie, and said, "Sometimes, you've gotta be ready with a surprise up your sleeve, you know what I mean?"
"We don't have sleeves, silly!" Pinkie said, waving her hooves in front of Bugs.
"Neither do I! What a co-inky dink!" Bugs said, grabbing another carrot.
"How many of those have you eaten?" Fluttershy asked, concerned. "If you eat too much of those, you might get a really bad tummyache."
Bugs waved her off, and said, "Ah, don't worry. I could eat nothin' but carrots for hours!"
"Ees true!" Speedy said, jumping off the bookshelf and landing on Fluttershy's back. She turned to look at him, and he added, "Just don't get him started on Carrot juice!"
"Hey, it's not my fault!" Bugs said, reshuffling the deck. "How was I supposed to know you spiked it with Tequila?"
Meanwhile, Daffy had finally been pushed to the point of no return. He had been driven...to read. He absently flipped through a book, and stopped when his eyes caught a familiar word...gems.
Reading out loud in an excited voice, he said, "Dragon caves are known to house vast hordes of priceless gems, such as rubies...emeralds...sapphires...and also an immeasurable amount of gold!"
Daffy put the book down, and lost himself in a temporary fantasy of himself jumping into a pool of gold coins, cackling triumphantly as he did so. He then reread the passage, and gulped audibly when he saw the word, "Dragon".
"Wait a second!" He turned to Spike, who had by now joined the four in their card game, and held up his hand, measuring him. "THAT'S how big the dragons are here? I could take one on easily!" He grinned, and sneaked off, saying over his shoulder, "Hey, uh, I'll be right back, I just need to use the little Duck's room!"
He climbed out of a nearby window, and put his hands to his eyes, forming a set of makeshift binoculars. Looking around, he spotted a nearby cave that was in a forest, and smiled.
"Oh, I'm going to be RICH!" He said, already running full speed towards it, laughing his trademark, "hoo-hoo!" laugh.
XHXHXHXHXHXHXH
Daffy wandered through the forest, not noticing in his haste for treasure that he had nearly been mauled at least seventeen times, and had only avoided the monsters with sheer dumb luck.
Example: Bending over to pick up a shiny rock, and causing a Manticore to leap into an Ursa's cave. Needless to say, the Ursa was pissed off at being woken up.
The Manticore will be missed.
As Daffy went deeper, and deeper into the forest, he started shivering. He glanced at the trees, and said, "Now who would make a tree with polka-dots on it? Oh no, Bugs better not be messing with the Drawing board again!"
He then waved a fist at the sky, and yelled, "YOU HEAR THAT BUNNY?! I'M ONTO YOU!"
Still grumbling, his face lit up with a large smile when he stumbled upon the cave he had spotted. He tip-toed into the cave, and stopped when he saw the massive pile of treasure that lay before him.
"What'cha doin?" Pinkie suddenly asked, bouncing next to Daffy.
He yelped, and then placed a hand over Pinkie's mouth, telling her, "SHUSH!" He glanced around, making sure that nothing was about to attack them, and whispered, "How did you get here so fast?"
Pinkie shrugged, and said, "I skipped here! Why are you being all sneaky?"
Daffy opened his bill to let out a witty retort, when he snapped it shut suddenly. Why was he being sneaky? If dragons were really that tiny, he shouldn't have to worry about anything!
"You're right!" He shouted, standing up straight. "Why should I have to worry about anything?" He proudly walked over, and scooped up a huge armload of gems. "I'd like to see some wimpy dragon try and stop me from taking these babies!"
He walked around, picking up random trinkets that caught his eye, and he stopped when he came upon a necklace with a balloon-shaped blue crystal in it. It was set into an intricate gold band, and Daffy's eyes widened at the sight of it.
"Pinkie, would you get a load of this!" He shouted, reaching out to grab the necklace. Right before he did so, a gleaming golden eye opened unexpectedly, and glared at the greedy duck.
Daffy met the gaze evenly, and said, "Pinkie?"
"Yes Laffy-Daffy-Waffy?"
"I thought Spike was a dragon." He continued talking in a calm, monotone voice.
"He is!"
"...So why is THIS dragon so huge?"
"Spike's a baby dragon, silly!"
The Golden Dragon, whose scales were the same color as the massive pile of treasure it was sleeping on, slowly got up, glaring at the duck. It opened its jaws, and let out a torrent of blue fire that melted the stalactites above him.
Daffy gulped, and said in a small voice, "............mother."
He then screamed, and snatched the necklace from the pile, running as fast as his duck legs could carry him. He jumped on top of Pinkie Pie, and clicked his heels into her, saying, "Yah, Mule! Ride! Amscray! Flee!"
Pinkie looked at him quizzically, and said, "I'm not a mule. Hey, is that my Element?"
Daffy looked at the necklace he was holding, and said, "I don't know, and I don't care! THERE'S A DRAGON THAT'S TRYING TO EAT ME!!!"
"It's not trying to eat you, it's just trying to roast you!" Pinkie said, giggling. "Can I please have that necklace back now?"
The panicked duck turned his head, and when he saw that the Dragon was getting dangerously closer, he finally shouted, "FINE, HERE TAKE IT!" He clasped the necklace around Pinkie Pie, and then shouted, "NOW GET US OUT OF HERE!"
"Okie-dokie-lokie!" Pinkie said, as her necklace started to glow. "Huh? This is new!"
With a bright flash of blue light, Pinkie and Daffy vanished, leaving a very confused and angry Dragon behind them.