"Okay... again... gently... gently..."

*THWACK*

"Okay, even gentler now." I want to touch the book. I don't want to move it, just touch it. Not just touch it, but touch it like I'm playing Jenga and the entire tower is balancing on a single brick. Slowly... slowly...

I winced as my magic just barely brushed the edge of the book, a faint, dark pink aura exuded not from a horn, but my entire body, reaching out in a tendril the width of a hair, just ever so slightly resting against the spine of the book.

"Okay.... okay... I got it. Okay... now to pick it up..."

*THWACK*

Immediately the aura pulsed a very vivid red and sent the book flying straight into the ceiling, after which I lost contact with it. It took me hours just to get contact with it that didn't fling it across the room, and the first thing I did after that is fling it across the room. To say that I was frustrated was an understatement.

"Ugh, guess I better just go get it."

*Thump*

This time the book raised of it's own accord and flew straight at me, impacting my face with enough force to knock me flat on my back. The book came to rest atop my belly as I held it in my hand that wasn't limited in it's motion by a sling on the arm. It may not have been what I intended, and it may not have been effective, or graceful, but I HAD THE BOOK.

"... WOOT."

"Okay... so, what I want to happen, but way too strong. So I need to... only want it a little?" It was like trying to make a marionette dance, but each individual string was attached to an industrial construction crane, the slightest little movement just made it go flying. I had made next to no progress. I could at least reach out and touch it consistently, but any amount of motion just sent it flying.

"Okay... okay... I want the book." *Smack* Right in the face. Again. I just don't understand. I should be capable of learning this! Why can't I figure it out? Basic levitation. Just reach out with your hand, pick it up. Just reach out with your magic, pick it up. It's the same damn thing in the book! Why can't I do it? Beginner unicorn spell my ass.

"Ow... Try again. I kinda want the book?" *Smack*

"Why is it always my FACE!?!?" *Thud* it landed on the opposite side of the room.

"Well, you're no help." The book lightly shifted on the ground.

"Hello Griffin."

"WHA!" The book, the other books, the bed, the bedside tables, and the bedside lamps all slammed into the ceiling with a loud crash before slumping to the ground in a broken heap. I turned to the door to look at the startled nurse.

"Uh... I could come back if it's a bad time."

"No... that's alright. Go ahead, I was just about to take a break anyways." I had been practicing this entire time, and had asked several times to be changed between forms so I could see if it was any better when I was a griffin. It wasn't. I miss my amulet. Theoretically, I should still be able to use it because it doesn't use MY magic, it has it's own. That is if Fia hadn't FUCKING TAKEN IT!

"Well, the doctors say you're free to go." She began. "So long as you take it easy and don't strain your arm, you'll be right as rain in no time. I'm here to do your outpatient paperwork. And uh... give you your bill."

"Alright... well, lets see." I spent a ten minutes filling out the papers before the nurse handed me the payment slip.

"Um... this can't be right." I stated as I saw then numbers.

"No, it's right, we triple checked. Here's the medical bill, and here's property damage, furniture replacements, plumbing costs, construction, construction materials, heavy construction equipment rentals, and a multitude of fines for disturbing the peace and noise complaints. See? It all adds up."

"That's... a very long number." Wait.... "Okay, send it to Princess Celestia."

"What?" The nurse asked, slightly surprised.

"As an 'official' Knight of Equestria, the state is responsible for any medical bills, fines, complaints, and or destruction caused by my duties or part of my recovery." Hey, don't look at me like that. I already have enough of a debt to Fancypants, I can't afford this. And no, I'm NOT taking money out of New Dominion coffers. Taking even a single coin is the start of a very dark road where I start blowing all my country's money building casino's and private islands. "Oh, and send this note with. I want her to read it first." I quickly scrabbled something on a piece of paper and had it attached to the bill. before it was taken away to be mailed.

"Now that we've settled that, come with me. I'll get you your belongings."

"One torn and mangled shirt, check." They had to cut it off me to operate. I'd been wearing the same pair of boxers and my 'gem jeans' Rarity made for me the whole time. She's gonna kill me when she sees this. I had them laundered daily while I slept nude or wrapped myself in a bed sheet for modesty's sake. "One black scale knife." Prisoners, I mean patients aren't allowed to carry weapons. "One ruby." The one I had eaten. "One makeshift nap sack...."

"Don't care about the rest. Just throw it out."

I collected my things and headed into town where I cleaned and sold my ruby for cash. I ate lunch before catching a cart ride to go see Gilda.

"Mail for you, your highness." My butler brought in several envelopes. One of them from the hospital Griffin was staying at. On opening it, I quickly scanned the page, settling on the bottom number.

"Yes I suppose he'd send me this." I sighed as I counted how many digits there were. There was also a note attached, hoof written.

Dear Princess Celestia,

We need to talk.

Griffin.

Author's Notes:

Sorry it took me so damn long to get this out. My brain hurts and I'm boiling in my own skin. After a few cold days here in Canada, the temperature suddenly shot up to a bajillion degrees, it's incredibly humid, and it stayed like that for a week now.

I am the lobster.

From my icy home, to steam.

I am Delicious.

Quillo Manar fixed my terrible Haiku