I was laying on the bed in my new hospital room, since I couldn't exactly stay in the old one after I broke it again, which brings me to the million dollar question. What the HECK is happening to me? I couldn't use my magic in the swamp, but when I got pissed off enough at the bugs everything just burned. It had to have been me. In my first room when that clearly evil nurse was going to inject me with something, the room was just gone, and now with Seth, I blew the corner off the room. I can't use my magic the way I'm used to, and then things happen when I'm not even trying.

Seth. I have a son... I... I have a son, and he's adorable and I just wanna squeeze him! And what if the thing happens again? What if he gets hurt? What if someone else tries to hurt him? I was so focused on getting back I hadn't even considered what would happen when I did. After the display at Ancientwell, would they leave me alone out of fear, or hunt me down with even greater persistence?

One thing at a time. Deal with my magic problem, then find out what my public image is like. Thankfully, for the first one I wouldn't have to wait long.

It was another couple of days and admittedly, I was feeling better. I was putting weight back on so apparently the intestinal worms had been killed off by the medicine, which was not a slow acting poison meant to kill me without raising suspicion. That's when she came back. The strange unicorn doctor with a cadeceus as a cutiemark, the one who made me sit like a dog. She didn't bother knocking and just walked into my room, making me back away instinctually. Not just her presence caused that reaction however. It was the maniacal gleam in her eye, the same one I'm known to get when I'm being particularly devious. It was predatory and directed straight at me.

"Ah, hello." She spoke in the voice of a pony, while her face was that of a hungry animal, desperate for a meal. "I am Doctor Exotic. We've met before."

"You made me sit." I told her. "I don't want to sit."

"Well then I have good news. Since you're no longer a rabid animal you can do whatever you want, on one condition..." She tapered off.

"And that is?" She was suddenly right in my face, the raw determination returned in full force, like the very strength of her will commanded obedience.

"Tell me... what is wrong." She said with desperation. "I know there's something else, something the useless doctors here have no clue about, something that is confusing you as well, something related to why two hospital rooms have been destroyed since my last visit."

"Um... I can't control my magic."

"Yes! Yes yes yes! Finally! Difficulty with magic control is something only unicorns experience. Griffins and pegasi don't have to worry about any of that. If they did, they could fall right off a cloud. No no, out of control magic is something only unicorns can have, because they're the only ones to truly 'control' it to begin with, but YOU have it, and you're not a unicorn. Now, there may be some strange correlation due to your previous use of dragon blood and your magical training regime, but I'll have to do a full aural scan to be sure." She rambled on with clear excitement. She pointed her horn at me and I found myself covered in a golden glow. "Yes, yes, aha, yes, alright, now, how exactly is your magic misbehaving?"

I pushed her head away from me, interrupting her spell.

"I don't recall giving you permission to run any tests." I stared at her.

"Ah, good cognitive ability, not many catch that one, it's fine, I already have all I need." ... just how efficient is she? She wasn't running the spell for more than a few seconds. "Now, what trouble are you having?"

"When I try to use magic, which I've used countless times before, nothing happens. Then in a time of emotional strain, some completely unbidden effect takes place. Burning half an ancient city sunk in a swamp, blowing entire walls out."

"Mmm hmm, and what magical phenomenon have you encountered recently?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Please, it's common knowledge that you were dropped into the underworld. EVERYONE, not just everypony, knows about that." Well, at least that answers the question of what my public image is like. My image is Dee-Eee-Dee. Ded. Well, not for much longer, though I can't tell what the reaction will be. "The underworld could be a realm very like, or unlike, our own. At this point, anything could exist there without our knowledge of it. Considering I know you were there, you could tell me it was filled with Celestia's rump and I'd believe you." Exotic replied to my sass with a complete and well thought out argument... of sass.

"Fine." I relented. "I was in the underworld, the entire area acts like a null magic field meaning it takes incredible effort to do anything magically. I took a very long swim in the Acheron, the river of pain, ate some underworld food, and was pumped full of an agonizingly painful paralytic toxin by a hell bee." I began gasping for breath as I recounted the things I'd been through. The memories came flooding back. I shut my eyes tight to block out the thoughts when I felt a strong hoof on my forehead. Suddenly my mind went blank, and I no longer felt the tension of those memories forcing themselves to the surface.

"In any case, I'm not entirely sure what any of that did to you, but I can show you what's going on right now. Come with me to the sink." Dr Exotic instructed as she removed her hoof from my head. I followed her over to the nearby faucet as she reached into her doctor's bag and pulled out a piece of paper. Not good paper either, the really cheap, lined, '500 pages for 50 cents' kind, then used it to make a paper funnel, and passed it to me.

"Hold the funnel under the tap." I did so, and she turned the water on to a gentle trickle. "This is what you are normally doing when you cast spells with your gemstones. This is the normal magic flow of anyone who isn't a unicorn, and you're forcing it into a delicate frame to guide it to the effect you want." I nodded to show I understood. She turned the faucet up to about a normal flow.

"This is a unicorn's magic flow. A lot stronger. See how the wimpy funnel can't hold it? Even with your gem casting, most unicorns just stick with their horns. These gems may not require much effort to use for a non unicorn, and unicorns have enough magical control to 'dim the lights' so to speak." She looked at me expectantly to see if I understood. I nodded again.

"Then, this is alicorn magic, like the princesses." She turned the faucet on full blast, making water splash everywhere, filling the basin faster than the drain could empty it. "Without an incredible level of control, it just goes all over the place. Finally... that brings us to your magic." At which point her horn lit up and covered the entire sink. With a grunt of great exertion, she pulled the entire fixture right out of the wall and chucked it across the room. Water shot straight at the ceiling from the exposed plumping, going everywhere and soaking both of us for quite some time until a very large puddle appeared on the floor and the water pressure subsided, leaving the stream coming from the broken pipe as a slow trickle. She gave a huff after having put forth such an effort and turned to look at me.

"THAT, Griffin, is what your magic is doing. It's far too wild to be contained within a measly rock. The only other magic I've seen that's even remotely similar is Discord's, and even then there's more different than there is the same. From what you've told me it seems to build up and then react on raw emotion. If you have any hope of controlling your magic, you'll have to get your feelings in check first. Know what you want, and don't feel rashly."

"Could you simplify that? What do you mean by 'don't feel rashly'?" I asked.

"Let me put it this way. Magic is directly tied to your will. If you want a specific effect you either need to know a specific spell to make it happen, or have so much magic to throw at it that it happens of it's own accord. The problem with the second form of casting is this. Let's say there's someone you care for, but at the moment they're annoying you. You want them to just go away. Well, your magic decides to make that happen and outright obliterates them. You wanted them gone, and now they're gone. Request satisfied. Blasting the buck out of them was the simplest means to reach that end, though obviously not the most preferred. When unicorns get angry, a lot of times they just toss a beam of raw magic at the target of their frustrations. It causes injury, the severity dependent not on their talent, but on their raw potential. At a high point, you have far more magic than any unicorn, almost to the level I'd expect to see in the late King Sombra, who used dark magic in a failed attempt to become a god, or as close as he could get. Once it's expended you're drained and don't have to worry about another outburst till it builds up again. Also, consider the fact that you've been starved and sleepless for a couple months and the effect that'd have."

"... you're saying that unless I can get control of myself, I'm a danger to everyone around me." What would happen if I got in an argument with Gilda, or got frustrated listening to Seth cry? I could unwittingly do something I could never forgive myself for.

"Well, either that or find a safe outlet to get rid of it from time to time. Here." She passed me a card with an address on it. "Once you're out of this hospital, go here. I'm told it helps." The card was for some kind of group emotional therapy session.

"No." I tossed the card away behind me. "I already tried something like that when I was in boot camp, and it didn't work all that well. I think I'll just look for an outlet. I would like to get it back in control, not just throw it away, which means I'll have to practice with it."

"Well then, I have nothing more to do here. I'd like to speak with you again once you're back on your paws. I have an interesting proposition for you."

"How will I contact you?" At that, she laughed.

"You won't have to." And then she left. Doctor Exotic is by far the strangest, and possibly least dull and predictable pony I have ever met. Right as she tried to leave however, the guard posted at my door came in, bringing her with him. He spotted the disaster faucet and looked expectantly at the two of us.

"Umm..." We said in unison before pointing at each other. "S/He did it."

After being moved into yet another hospital room while the plumbing was repaired and the room was cleaned up, I was given a few days before I had another visitor, this time in the hue of purple.

"Hello? Griffin?" I heard a call and knock from the door in a voice I had not heard in a very long time.

"Hmm?" I went to take a look and saw Twilight Sparkle's face through the small window of the door.

"When I heard you'd returned I came as soon as I could." She proclaimed. Her statement didn't make much sense however, as I'd been identified over two weeks ago. Did Celestia choose not to tell her till now? Did that mean my return was now public knowledge? "I heard you've been having magic trouble and so I came to see if there's anything I can do about it."

"Well? What are you standing at the door for? Come in." I replied, noticing her hesitance to enter.

"Well, okay, but don't freak out alright?" Why would I freak out? She's one of the few ponies I ever really opened up to. I don't think she could do anything to surprise or bewilder me. That's when she walked in. She was a fair bit taller than before, her horn was longer, and she didn't move quite so gracelessly. Oh yeah, and she had a pair of wings. And a crown. And the guards bowed to her as she entered.

It was exactly at this moment I broke out laughing.

I rolled on the floor, laughing my scrawny ass off for thirty full seconds till I was exhausted from such exertion due to my lack of muscle mass. I rolled on my side and flopped my head against the floor before wiping a tear from my eye.

"This is no joke Griffin. I'm an alicorn now and I've officially been named the princess of magic."

"Pppffffft... more like the princess of purple. Hasbro's making a new toy line!"

"Hey! Wait... what? Ugh, never mind." She grumbled.

"Seriously though. Called it."

"What do you mean... 'Called it'?" She asked.

"You becoming a princess. I called it." I replied.

"How could anypony possibly predict this? I'm suddenly immortal, I have wings I have no idea how to use, I haven't had to deal with politics yet though I'm sure I will at one point, all of this happened in an afternoon. How could you have 'called it'?" And I could have sworn she told me not to freak out when she came in.

I stood up, waved my claws about in front of her like a stage magician and said,

"The machinations of my mind are far beyond pony comprehension. Woooooo! Ghoooooost noooiiiissseeeeessss."

"If you're not going to take this seriously I'll just leave." Was Twilight's reply. I stopped laughing and sat on the floor, drooping my head.

"Sorry."

"Huh?" She turned around to look at me again.

"I said. 'Sorry. It's just, I haven't laughed in a while and this put me over the breaking point." I replied sadly.

"That's okay." She sat her royal rump on the floor opposite me. "I'm just a little frustrated that nopony is taking this whole princess thing seriously except me."

"Have you ever noticed Twilight?"

"Noticed what?"

"Our lives are absolutely absurd."

"No they're not."

"You spent the majority of your youth cooped up in a library, were suddenly tossed out into the world to purify an ancient evil with your best friends in the world whom you knew for all of a day. From that point on, you've handled crisis after crisis all leading you up to the point where you ascend to what is essentially godhood. I went from a troubled youth with no future to the founder of a new nation, became the worlds greatest destruction mage, then went to hell and lost all of it, and SOMEHOW came out of the pit of eternal torment less crazy than when I went in."

"You weren't THAT crazy before. Okay, before coming to get help yeah, but you were doing really well." Twilight argued.

"And then Ancientwell happened. I envy you Twilight. When the going gets tough, you stick to what you believe in and it guides you through your ordeal. Me? My morals go right out the window and I resort to causing small scale natural disasters. You can see what kind of person someone really is by putting them under pressure. I did not like what I saw, and the worst part is, I'm not even bothered by it. I did terrible things, for what seemed like a good reason at the time. I just couldn't think of any other options."

"Like... what?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"That's fine, but you know that unless you open up, it won't get better."

I took a deep breath then let it out.

"I ate people." I just watched Twilight's everything droop. "I was starving and I couldn't find any other options. And then I caused a flood knowing full well that it'd kill people who weren't even involved, but I did it anyway because I was desperate, and then I made a bloody show of slaughtering my opposition to inspire fear. The things I did were not the actions of a feeling person. They were the actions of a tactician. A cold, heartless strategist. I caused so much pain that I'll never see because they hurt me."

"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind Griffin." Twilight said disappointedly as she cringed with disgust. "That's a phrase from your world, isn't it?"

"In case you've forgotten, as a human, I had both my eyes ripped out. As a griffin, I had my wing cut off, I went to the underworld, met my great grandfather which wasn't so bad, and nearly starved to death in a swamp. And you know what? For what I've done, I probably deserved all those things, yet I don't FEEL like I deserved any of it. I don't feel guilty when I know I should. I just feel angry. I fought to protect my family, failed miserably by the way, I took drastic action to save myself and still went to hell, and I'd probably do it again given the choice. I feel like there's some deep, underlying lesson that I'm supposed to have learned from this but I can't figure out what it is. I can't ask anyone else what they'd do in my situation. Most people would just give up or die. Aoi would somehow make it out looking like a badass with cherry blossoms falling in the background and Knightmare, wherever the hell he even is, would play a rock song as he danced his way out. Me? The only way I could have done anything more 'evil' in that den was if I started kicking puppies and stealing candy from foals. My situation is totally unrelatable." I sighed as I finished.

"I'd tell you to stop trying to deal with everything on your own but you asked for help and it still didn't work. I really don't know what to say to you."

"I just want to make it all go away. To stop being 'The Griffin' and just be Grif. To raise my son in peace without having to worry about people coming after me or... setting the house on fire if I stub my toe."

"Ah! Yes, speaking of that..." Her tone changed completely. It was clear she was eager to get out of this conversation. "I've brought you some books. Since your magic is acting a lot like a baby unicorn's with how uncontrollable it is, I brought you some beginner spellbooks. They're all written in unicornian though, so I also brought an Equish/Unicornian dictionary." She brought out the spellbook, filled with all those symbols like horseshoes and stuff that I never learned to read.

"That's a very good idea Twilight. I'd at least feel better if I could have my protection spell again, though I have the feeling unicorn shields are harder to do than mine were." She nodded, and then I got an idea. "Actually, since it looks like I'm going to be here a while, can you bring me some more books? I'd like to brush up on some old subjects."

"Of course!" She seemed excited that I wanted to read. That's the Princess of Books for you. "What topics?"

"I'd like some biology books, some books on the crystal empire, and anything about alicorns."

"Can I ask why?" She seemed suspicious.

"Well, I've always liked biology, I even went to school to be in the medical field, but I haven't looked at it in a while. As for the crystal empire, I've only been there once, and I didn't even spend the day, I'd like to learn more."

"And the book on alicorns?" Twilight asked.

"Well, as it turns out, people can just up and turn into immortal princesses. I need to know what to do if I start growing a horn because I am NOT wearing a dress." At my reply, she simultaneously laughed and face hoofed.

"I'll see what I can find." I'll be back in a few days, try and get better okay?"

Author's Notes:

I had to rewrite this chapter a couple times because I didn't like the feel, and I still don't. Twilight seems a little too casual for my taste. I wanted her to be more uptight, shocked, appalled at the things Griffin did, but then again she's seen him chop the heads off dragons and foam at the mouth from a seizure so... yeah. It wouldn't make sense for her to freak out about that because it's basically old hat by now. As for the bit with Doctor Exotic, I do like it. She comes off as eccentric, and maybe having spent a little TOO much time around predators that it's starting to rub off on her. I'm sorry for all you people who had Dr.House allusions of her if this breaks them. House was never that excited about anything because he doesn't give a fuck.

Yes, I just swore in the author's notes. This fic is rated mature, I can say what I want!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKuQ6zYaFro