"Good day fer sum fishin..." An elderly man wearing naught but a pair of faded and torn blue overalls, and a frayed straw hat, said to himself as he put his hand above his eyes to gaze out across the river. "Sure hope I catch sumfin t'day." The man walked to the riverbank and set down his rod and tackle box. The contents of the tackle box were a single chicken sandwich, and a massive curved hunk of iron nearly the size of the pole itself, with a dulled tip and the barb broken off.

"Hemr de derm de derm..." He mumbled cheerily to himself as he attached the massive hook to the relatively puny line and rod. He swung the pole back, then forth, casting the giant hook into the river before him, then jabbed the handle into the ground and piled the dirt up around it so it'd hold. Then he sat himself down and prepared to enjoy his lunch.

A sudden tug on the line made him drop his sandwich in surprise, making a scramble to the pole to grab it before it came loose of it's earthen holding.

"Hooeee I got a live un!" The man hollered with joy as he tugged on the line, pulling back as hard as he could, trying draw his catch from the river before him. He groaned under the strain as his pole bent, the tip nearly touching the surface of the water. He pulled back so far that he fell on his ass in the dirt, the fishing rod coming with him and the thing on the end of his line flying out of the water. It landed on the dirt beside him and began flailing about as it gasped for air.

Pain, unending pain. Broken dreams, betrayal, unfulfilled wishes, lost love and above all, unbearable guilt. Knowing that everything I felt at that moment was what I deserved, that it was hopeless to try and deny the justice brought on me.

... And yet...

Relief. For some incomprehensible reason the agony had dulled. I could feel the warmth spreading through my body, driving the frozen needles from my veins. I no longer felt the crushing pressure of being trapped beneath endless fathoms of depth, nor was I gripped in the paralyzingly self-hatred that had come over me before. I wasn't dead yet! NO! I was still alive, and that meant there was a chance! I felt my lungs burn for air, trying to expunge the wretched fluid hat had filled them. I thrashed violently on the soft dirt beneath me, gasping for air until mercifully, breath came to me.

"We'll I'll be! Talk about a flyin' fish! I'm having buffalo wings tnight!" Just like that, every sense of hope being torn from the river had given me vanished. The jubilation in the voice of a crotchety old man as he contemplated the best way to eat me made sure of that. I couldn't defend myself. I was far to weak to do such a thing. I couldn't even speak. All I was able to manage was opening my heavy eyelids and letting the tears flow from them anew.

"Hey, waiddaminnut!" The horribly wrinkled face became known to me as the man lifted his hat so it wouldn't cover his eyes. "You ain't no fish! Yous onna dem griffin thingies. Whatchu think ya doin in da river?" Hope returns full force! I still wasn't in any state to reply, but the man thankfully didn't press the matter, and instead went on talking. "If yous still in one piece afta fallin in da river, you must still be alive. Ya fell on down here didn'tcha?... Hey! Whatcha layin there cryin fer? Don't cha know cryin don't solve nuthin? Come on, up ya go, git!"

With strength that has no right belonging to such an old being, he grabbed me by the arms, slung me over his shoulder, picked up his rod and tackle, then carried me off.

He carried me for what felt like hours across dry, cracked earth. Unlike the soft ground by the river bank, this looked as though it hadn't seen water in ages. He began talkin to pass the time.

"Well, i was mighty surprised ta pull you outta dat der river. See, us dead folk down here in the underworld, well, that there river makes ya ferget who ya are. All ya know is pain, an when a soul fergets who they is, they kinda fall apart. Can't keep themselves together I mean. Oh, names Lester by the way. Sorry bout earlier. I was jus jokin bout eatin ya, I got mah chicken sammich, s'all I need.... Ya don't say much do ya? Can't say I blame ya after what you been through. Why, I remember a time when..." And then he began yammering on, talking about things I didn't have a clue about. I didn't want to be rude to my saviour, but I may have ignored him and started counting his foot steps to pass the time. One. Two. Three.....

Five thousand two hundred and seventy six.... Five thousand two hundred and seventy seven...

We eventually arrived at some ramshackle little shack. It's door was hanging on by only one hinge, it was made of mostly rotten wood, it's windows had most of the glass busted out.

"Home sweet home!" Lester exclaimed. He gently set me on the ground, then leaned his fishing pole up against the wall of the shack, setting his tackle box next to it. I had regained some of my strength along the way, and found that with some effort I was able to stand.

'What the...' Looking back at the way we came, the river wasn't more than twenty paces away. Why the hell did it take so long to get here! Over five thousand steps I counted! How did... When... I don't even...

"Ya seem confused there fella. Lemme splain sumthin to ya. This ere's tha underworld, er Hades, er hell, er whatever you wanna call it. This's where folk who dun goofed wind up. Well, not THIS part anyway. S'not so bad. Bit lonely, but is kinda peaceful. Guess thas why they call it the sea a desolation. Ya can walk fer hours an not go nowhere, or ya can take two steps an go a mile. Was my punishment, on accounta me bein a right jackass when I was alive. Is alright. Erryday I grab my pole an relax down by the river, eat a sammich, then head on back ta this ere shack. Sometimes it takes me a week ta get back, but I like long walks..."

For someone who claims to like solitude, he can sure talk up a storm when he has someone to talk to.

"So then I died all alone, cuz I drove erryone away. Guess that wad'nt punishment enuf. Then the big man down ere sent me to this ere fishin shack an tol me if I ever caught sumfin, ta bring it to 'im an he'd lemme inta paradise. It's been so long, I kinda came ta like this lil spot, and I don't rightly think I wanna go anymore. Nope, I think I'll stay right here, maybe see if I can't catch sumfin else. Yous gonna wanna head to the castle though. If yous still alive, ya don't belong down ere, an if anyone can getcha back where yer s'posed ta be, it's Hades. This's his place after all. Oh, an look out fer other folk. I'm alright cuz I got mah hot chicken sammich ta keep me warm, but the other dead folk is stone cold. They'll be drawn to you like a moth to a candle cuz ya got the spark a life er some nonsense. Point is they'll suck the heat right outta ya if ya let em. Take care, now get offa my lawn ya blasted kid. Yer annoyin me. Go on! Git!"

That was quite possibly the strangest conversation I'd ever have in my life. Rescued by some old hick, he tells me his life story, then kicks me out because I'm annoying.

... I haven't said a thing.

Author's Notes:

The reason for the slight formatting change part way through is I started typing this on my iPad, and it doesn't have a tab function. Now to figure out how to turn off the auto correct.

Bet none of you expected that about half of the content of the underworld arc is going to be comedy. The other half is going to be feels. There will be some gore as well, sea of worms, people burning and such, but it'll be a fair mix. I suppose it all depends on where in the underworld he goes.