Some time later, I returned to the boutique for dinner. Sweetie Belle was out with her friends, so it was just the two of us, after which, I went to bed early so I could get a fresh start the next day.

I awoke first thing in the morning and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast. As I made my way through the house, I smelled something in the air, something strange, yet familiar. I couldn’t quite make sense of the scent, till I saw the smoke wafting through the house. Rushing into the room, skidding to a stop on the tile floor, I saw Sweetie Belle in front of the stove, using her hoof to try and wave the smoke out of the way.

“Extinguo.” So, first thing in the morning, I’m already burning through magic, dousing the entire kitchen in an extinguish spell, because with that unicorn who KNOWS what’s on fire? I rushed to the window and opened it, flapping my wings to blow the smoke out, and free up some much needed breathing room.

"Uh... Hi. Rarity said you were going to be living with us for a little while..." The tiny unicorn muttered.

"So, you tried to make breakfast..." She nodded. "Okay, so, what caught fire?"

"The juice." She stated blankly.

"And, why were you cooking juice?"

"Well, Rarity complains when her juice is cold, because it hurts her teeth, so I thought I'd warm it up." She explained.

"So, you used the oven?" I asked in disbelief. She just shuffled her hooves around on the floor. "Maybe you should learn to cook before you, you know, try to cook?"

"I've been asking Rarity to teach me, but, she never has the time, and when she does, she's always so finicky. If it's not perfect, it's no good, so she just winds up doing it herself..."

"Okay, well, hows about I make breakfast instead?"

"Yeah, alright..." She walked over to the table and sat down.

"And just what do you think you're doing?"

"Um, you're making breakfast, so, I'm going to wait?" I actually snickered a little at that.

"You know, there's a saying where I'm from. It's called, 'Monkey See, Monkey Do.' Do you know what it means?"

"... You're an alien." Right, captain obvious just pointed out that she wouldn't know that.

"Never mind. It's a complicated explanation that ends with 'You learn by watching, and then mimicking.' So get over here, and watch what I do."

I began by pulling out a loaf of bread, a carton of eggs, milk, vanilla, and a number of spices. I buttered the frying pan, and set it atop the stove. I poured the eggs, milk, and vanilla into a bowl, then mixed it up, followed by adding in some chives, pepper, turmeric, and a hint of chili powder. Then, I added in a tiny bit of various other herbs, rosemary, thyme, basil, etc. Mixing it again, I cut the bread into slices, soaked the slices in the mixture, and tossed them in the pan. Once the sides started turning a golden brown, I flipped them, and finally, put them on a plate. Then I sprinkled icing sugar on top and poured some corn syrup.

"Normal French Toast doesn't have the spices or herbs, but I like mine with a little kick to them. That's one thing you should note, everyone has their own preferences, and the perfect meal has to be made according to what the one who's eating it wants. In Rarity's case, easy on the syrup and sugar so it isn't messy, and a piece of parsley on top to complete the look. I don't know how well she'll take to the spices though, but that's the fun of guessing."

"Alright, so, that's the food, what about the drink?"

"If she doesn't like her juice cold because it hurts her teeth, then she has sensitive teeth, and needs to see the dentist about a special toothpaste. Drinks should be cold as the mountains and twice as fresh, except warm milk before bed, and hot cider, hot chocolate, coffee, or tea. For breakfast, either juice, milk, or coffee is best. Since we have apple juice, we'll pour her a glass and wait for it to warm up."

"Alright, so, I'll go wake her up now. *inhale* RARI--mmpphh?"

"What are you doing?"

"Well, Rarity always takes forever to get ready after she wakes up, so if we get her up now, by the time she gets down here, the french toast will have cooled off and the juice will have warmed up."

"Right, but a heart attack is NOT the best way to start the day. How would you like to be woken up? Picture the ideal way to be woken up."

"Umm... light shining on my face through the window, a slight breeze, and music from songbirds." Sweetie Belle replied.

"Well, we can't help the light, since that's the Princess's department, and it's not spring yet, so it's too cold to open the window, and the songbirds aren't back from the south, but your idea gives me one."

I was woken from my slumber by ever so faint music, and the gentle scent of fried egg and herbs wafting up from the hall. As I removed my eye mask and shook off the last dregs of sleep, the music slowly, but steadily built in volume. It was as though there was an orchestra in the boutique. Wrapping myself in my bathrobe, I rolled off the bed, got to my hooves, and trotted to the kitchen to investigate.

As I opened the door, the full force of the smell hit me, and the music reached a crescendo, which I bear no shame in admitting I hummed along with it. I gazed into the kitchen to find Griffin and Sweetie Belle sitting at the table, eating French Toast. I opened my mouth to ask, but they both quickly motioned for me to hush, lest I ruin the moment. Taking my own seat, I first took a sip of the apple juice, which I was pleasantly surprised to find was lukewarm, before I took a bite of the meal which had been prepared for me.

The soft, yet slightly crunchy bread, with the texture of fried egg, the sticky sweet of the syrup, and the harmoniously blended herbs made my mouth water and my eyes close, only to be jolted open as a slight heat assailed my tongue. It was not unpleasant, just unexpected. We three finished eating without saying a word, since the music playing set the whole mood of the meal for us, and to engage in conversation would ruin the experience which had clearly been carefully planned.

And the planners? They were seated across from me, so that I might have my back to the light, warming me, as well as sparing my eyes. At the same time, it shone directly on them. The sun made Sweetie's porcelain coat shine, and illuminated her two tone mane, while it glinted off the steel of Griffin's wing, and made the white of his feathers shimmer, all while giving them both a sparkle in their eye. Over all, I felt like I was eating breakfast next to a pair of angels.

I suddenly became aware of my own disheveled appearance. Mane, unkept and wild from sleep. Makeup, not yet applied. Coat, unbrushed. I almost felt ashamed to be sitting next to them. Clearly I was the unsightly stain on this otherwise perfect morning, yet when I looked into their smiling faces, and realizing that they had done this for me, that how I looked didn't matter, I almost wanted to cry.

As the music died down, and eventually ended, along with breakfast which, I now realized, I had absolutely devoured in a most unladylike manner, Griffin and Sweetie Belle looked to me, and asked me a question.

"So? How was it?"

Author's Notes:

Yes, I just wrote 1400 words of how to properly wake up and and have breakfast. Seriously, you should try it. You should, once in your life, shell out the cash and pay people to wake you up like this. Or get your family to do it.

(Insert breakfast related meme here. Perhaps a Volvic joke? I haven't done one of those yet. Being original is hard.)
Allen: What'cha doin Mr. Volcano?
George Volcano: Hello Tyrannosaurus Allen! I'll have you for breakfast!
King: *indignant* Dinner is what all true warriors strive for!
Heavy: *angry* Stupid! Sandvich is moist and delicious! (Because sandwiches can be eaten at any meal)

This is what it's like living in my brain.

I have an entire series of G-mod skits in there about Dr. Spencer (A heavy in medic clothes) and Medic. They diagnose a zombie scout, (You are dead.), help a paratrooper who got stuck on a 'TelefonMAST!', give Soldier a prescription when he can't get his 'Painis' up, (L4D Lewis, the pharmacist, gives him 'Peels', and then Soldier, smiles, runs out of the Drug Store, and Rochelle can be heard in the background, along with some 'whumping' sounds), help an engie who cut off his arm (give him gunslinger), and the same engy later returns having sat on his wrench and gotten it lodged where the sun don't shine, and for the series finale, Medic gets fired because he was drunk on the job.
Spy: The medic did not heal me, he was too drunk. *dies*
Medic, next to Demoman: Oktoberfest! Haha!
So, Dr. Spencer tries getting any number of assistants, none of which work out, including 'Dr.Fluttershy'

'So much blood!'
'Oh.... my...'
Fluttershy gtfo's because she can't handle all the blood.

Eventually, with the help of Spy, Medic tricks Dr. Spencer into giving him his job back.

A running gag would be that with each new episode, the opening gets stranger.

I am Doctor Spencer, un dis! *camera cuts to medic, with TF2 killcam sound* "Is medic"

Next time, it would take him a little bit to come on screen, or he'd be looking the wrong way, or be upside down, and for the finale, he wouldn't show up at all. When Spencer goes to find him, he's drunk, which kicks off the episode.

Sadly, I don't have Garry's Mod, and I have no talent when it comes to animation or artistry, so if I ever do make it, it'll be shoddy at best. So yeah, if anyone can make this, and make it 'Idiot Box' quality, please do. It would be funny as hell, and I'd gladly be a consultant for plot.
Lol, 'plot'

Farmer's use 'hoes' to 'seed' 'plots'!
...
Basically, a farmer is someone who goes in the backdoor of a prostitute.