Confessions of an Immortal Time Lord

When the Time Lords Broke Free (Part 4)

***

Well, here I was, once again a prisoner. Well, not yet - but I soon would be one, for now I was being escorted by four ponies armed with quite fearsome guns, which prevented me from trying to escape. I was still dumbfounded both by Big Macintosh's attitude (come on, he said more words in one sentence than I'd ever heard him say before!) and by Rainbow's betrayal. Though, I suppose that even though she was the Element of Loyalty in my parallel Universe, she could simply be the Element of Betrayal in this one. Or maybe there were no Elements here whatsoever...

That brought me to an uneasy thought - a thought I'd tried to avoid: How exactly did I end up here? Where was my TARDIS? And, most importantly, why hadn't I predicted such an outcome? Were there universes that were protected even from Time Lords' insight into them?

"Move along!" One of the patrol ponies, a white unicorn, nudged me, prompting me to delay my speculations for another time in the future. Or in the past. Hell, I even didn't know what time I was in!

Though, I moved faster, keeping my head low, my gaze fixed on the bronze ground. I missed grass. I missed soil. I missed home. Damn it, I even missed Twilight! I believe that shows how homesick I was. I'd tried to talk to Big Mac... Macintosh Apple a few times but each time he pretended not to have heard me. So, I gave up any attempts.

The extent of my fatigue was so immense that I seriously considered falling down and letting those ponies shoot me. Hmm... Now that I thought about it... What guns were those guys holding? I turned my head towards the white unicorn and saw a very familiar weapon in his magical grip.

Holy transdimensional psycho tramps! That was a dimensional gun he was holding there! And, if you wonder what it is, it's a little gun, one shot from which can send a pony to a completely random time and location. How's that, huh? And, judging by how confidently the unicorn was holding the weapon in his magical grip, he surely knew how to use it. Well, damn my sorry flank and its ability to et me into trouble. However, if you think about it... could it be that Dash had got me into trouble? Maybe she was an agent of Pinkie's? But then what was the reason behind her saving me?

Maybe... Maybe Pinkie needed me for something?.. Perhaps...

My train of thought approached its station as we came up to the most bizarre building I'd ever seen. It resembled Carousel Boutique almost perfectly, with one exception: it was made of bronze. The whole building was made of bronze that shone in the midday sun, showing off a whole spectrum of the rainbow. Rainbow...

The building was stuffed with different kinds of steel pipes, black smoke erupting from them. I wondered idly whether ponies here cared about environment at all.

Big Mac approached the door and knocked gently. After a few seconds of hushed whining from behind, a very messy white unicorn opened the door, tossing her gorgeous purple mane to the side.

Rarity! I wanted to scream, but swiftly reminded myself that this Rarity was evil; or, at least, mildly cruel, being a supporter of Pinkie's regime and all, you know? I still had difficulty in understanding how in Equestria Pinkie Pie, of all ponies, would be an evil dictator. Well, I suppose that it had something to do with the fact that I wasn't in Equestria any more...

"Mistress Rarity, I am happy to inform you that we have a pleasure of bringing you a new wage labourer."

I blinked a few times. Hearing such words come out of Big Mac's mouth was like... well, hearing unladylike profanity from Rarity, I guess.

"Oh, that's wonderful~" Rarity said in a sing-song voice, dragging me in with her telekinesis. I obliged solemnly, being used to enduring under magic influence. How come? Well, Twilight - the real Twilight - had always been pretty... persuasive when it came down to making me work. Or doing some other difficult stuff which she, as a mighty unicorn, had completely no power to perform. Of course an earth pony like me would suit just any task far better!

...That was sarcasm, if you didn't get it.

Anyway, having been placed upon the cosy (oh, ever so cosy!) brass floor, I allowed myself to take a look around. Actually, the whole place didn't look like Carousel Boutique at all when it came to interior. In fact, it looked more like a large factory with dozens of ponies sitting by sewing machines, working their hooves out, so to speak. And here I was, thinking that only my TARDIS was bigger on the inside!

Speaking of TARDIS... Where the hay was it? It couldn't have been possible for me to end up in this crazy world on my own. Besides, TARDIS was my long-life companion... Never leave home without it! Surely that had either been some cruel misunderstanding or some intended action. But who would be interested in teleporting me from my universe to the dimension where, apparently, harmony had long died, while my own universe would be left in grave... danger... You know, I think I just answered my own question. Thank you and goodnight.

Oh, apart from the fact that it wasn't night and that Rarity was looking at me expectantly, and the sign Why aren't you working, slave? could be well read in her eyes. Now, don't get me wrong. We Time Lords are the most hard-working creatures in the Universe... well, not really, but still very hard-working and enduring. But when it comes down to working against our will... Let's just say, our rebellious nature shows off very well.

"Now, will you be a dear and take your place?" Rarity cooed, pointing her hoof towards an ugly corner where a copper carpet, which most certainly served as a sitting pillow for 'wage labourers', perfectly matched a rusty steel sewing machine.

I began slowly trotting towards the strange device, not having the slightest idea what to do. The gears in my head began turning. There were no guards in the room; that is, if posters with Pinkie's face on them didn't count as the guardians. The only armed pony in the room was Big Macintosh, who started having a lovely talk with Rarity.

Dammit. Big Mac. Having. A. Talk. What next? Talking rocks? Sea ponies?

I halted to a stop, eyeing the sla- wage labourers. Most of the, were exhausted, and in no condition to fight. Besides, I couldn't risk their lived, trying to charge Big Mac with my screwdriver...

My screwdriver!

MY SCREWDRIVER!

I realised that this universe was probably the most cruel I've ever been in. No TARDIS. No screwdriver. Slaver Rarity. Evil Pinkie. Talkative Big Mac. Could it get any stranger?

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

Apparently, it could. An explosion of light and colour splashed before the entrance, sending rainbow rays inside. Big Macintosh immediately took an offensive stance, while Rarity gasped and backed down. In an instant, a cyan pegasus entered the Boutique (a.k.a. Slave Factory), holding a weapon, which resembled a gun, in her muzzle. Not losing any time ('cause, you know, that's not the way of a Time Lord!), I rushed to help my loyal (after all) friend. But I needn't, for Rainbow Dash had pulled the trigger, pointing the gun at the red earth pony. The stallion vanished in an instant, as if he never were here.

I blinked. Rarity yelled in fear and ran away, pushing the pegasus mare aside, evading another shot of magical energy. The wage labourers just sat in awe, witnessing their mistress leave. I approached Rainbow, pinning her to the nearest wall.

"Hey!" she tried to protest, but instantly realised my motivation. Understanding that they were free, the slaves formed a long line (or, to be more exact, crowd), and galloped out of the Boutique with all speed, sending a fervent wind inside. I held the pegasus tight, preventing her (and me) from being stomped to the state of a pancake. Or worse.

When the trouble was gone, I let her go. The pegasus had spread her wings and was hovering above the copper floor. I wanted to thank her for coming to my rescue, but deep inside I was still mildly hurt by her leaving me before.

"Damn it, Rainbow!" I swore, trying to cast a disapproving glance. "Where have you been?" I demanded.

Rainbow Dash saw my confusion and rubbed her chin, pretending to be thinking.

"Erm... Napping?" she suggested with a grin.

I chuckled, unable to be angry at her any more.

"Thanks for saving me, by the way," I added, looking around, The place looked positively empty, aside from the posters on the walls.

"All in a day's work," she replied, as if it saving Time Lords was what she did on a daily basis.

And here was her mistake: opening her muzzle too wide, she dropped the gun on the floor. Seeing it, she quickly regained it, the barrel pointed at yours faithfully.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" I waved my hooves in the air as the pegasus directed the weapon away from me. "That's a dimensional gun here! Are you sure you know how to use it?" I wondered, taking a closer look at the weapon.

BLAM! With a confident smirk, Rainbow shot one of Pinkie's posters, which disappeared immediately, like Big Mac some moments ago.

"Well, I guess you do..." I sighed.

"Of course I do!" she boasted, paying attention to the gun in her mouth. In reality, it sounded more like Of fors w wu!, but for the ease of your reading, I'll transcribe it to natural pony-speech. "I just killed Big Mac, after all!" she added with unconcealed pride in her voice.

I shook my head. "You know how to shoot but don't know how this thing works," I chided her. "You just sent him..." I paused. "...as well as the poster... to another dimension."

Rainbow pondered for a moment. "Sure, but that means he is dead in this dimension, right?" she wondered.

"You see-" I paused. Hell, maybe it was like this. When it came down to actually thinking about how one or another universe worked, I was just as helpless as the next pony, despite being a Time Lord and all.

Confound those pegasi! They drive me to think!

"We've no time for philosophy," I concluded, taking a look around.

Rainbow nodded. "Exactly. We've not much time. And that's why I have a plan."

She grinned. I sighed.

I had a bad, bad feeling about this...

***

Next on the Confessions!

~~~

"No! No way!"

"Oh come on! It's a flawless plan!"

"You know where's the one main flaw?"

"Eh?"

"In your DNA, apparently."

~~~

"Rainbow Factory? Like, where they make Rainbows from-"

"Sugar and spice."

"Oh, and I have thought-"

"Sugar. And. Spice."