Who am I?

Well, that's a very long story, but I know that I'm a mare with a lot of time on her hooves. Now, with my pudgy assistant sedated, I lay my head down on my battered bed, and I found the perfect moment to just look back and think about one of the questions I've asked myself throughout my life various times. How in the world did I get to this point?

As they say, every story has a beginning, and so does mine. I was born into a middle class family hailing from Canterlot, the very place I've spent my entire lifetime. My parents were...they were guardians, ensuring that I wouldn't get killed, but not much more than that. Ever since the moment I could walk, they started to groom me into what they wanted to see by enlisting me in beauty contests and forcibly altering my personality severely.So severely, in fact, that they controlled what my very cutie mark became, and even that didn't garner any more affection from them. At times I would come home from a pageant just to find them counting the bits they got in contest money, never sparing so much as a glance towards me as I trotted up to my small room, much less a scrap of allowance.

My coat began to gain luminescence from the extended, and sometimes painful, treatments my mother would use on me. She truly never cared about the risks, using chemicals that would make a chemist start screaming just because of its name to permanently change my coat's details. I had been born white, a color I loved severely due to how lustrous it would look in the sun, but my mother tested out some of her latest bottles of cosmetics on me to change my coat to what was in fashion at the moment. And so, I lived on with a blue coat that caught the eyes of many, but the luster it once held was gone, at least until she started pouring more of her torturous solutions onto it.

Beauty pageants became such a routine part of my life that I would be going there almost every single day of the week. As I grew a little older, my parents stopped accompanying me on the path to the building were the competitions were hosted, and I would have been fillynapped if a stallion from the pageant center hadn't seen me being carried away by some depraved lunatic.

I actually let a faint smile grow on my lips when the day for my parent's trail came, being accused of child neglection. Of course, my status-craving guardians were able to pull many strings in order to save their hides from rotting in the dungeons, earning nothing more than two years of community service. It was still fun to look at them work physically for once, watching them feel just a fraction of what I felt whenever they forced me onto the pageant stage.

My parents never changed though, save for the fact that they would now begrudgingly take me by my hoof and walk me over to the competition center. I on the other hand, changed very much, but it wasn't into the perfect filly they wanted. No, inside me were all the bottled up emotions I had refused to let out in fear of disappointing my caretakers, but it wasn't until the day I was enrolled in Princess Celestia's school that I finally discovered them myself.

The princess had caught onto the lack of education being given to me when she attended one of the pageants. During the academic phase of the competition, I failed horribly again, earning another bout of humiliating laughs from the onlooking crowd. Celestia, in an act that I will never forget, silenced them all with but a stomp of her hoof. After that, she glided over to me from her balcony seat and gave me a ride home, personally putting me to bed before she went to berate my parent again for not following the law. She gave them an ultimatum, start giving your daughter the life she deserves, or go to prison.

The few years following their decision had less beauty pageants in their schedules, a lot less. My father grew abusive, blaming me in his drunk stupors for 'uselessly spending money' right before he beat me. Mother never stopped him, much less said anything about it, but the small amount of generosity in her soul urged her to heal my physical state after each beating session. Any free time away from the deviants I knew as my parents was taken up with my strenuous studies, I aimed to be the best of all the unicorns in the school, just so that I could feel like I accomplished something in life.

But, that was all changed when she appeared.

Twilight Sparkle seemed as if she were just the ordinary unicorn, no, she looked much weaker than than the rest of our classmates. She hailed from humble beginnings, but that had only given her a humble nature that many of the students in the class abused, including myself.

I felt as if my world had started to crumble, what with parents that pretty much ignored my existence when they weren't torturing me and having lost the rank as the smartest unicorn of the school's generation. So, I followed in my beloved parents' hoofsteps, and attempted to crush the little lavender filly at any chance I got. It was really easy to hurt her feelings, most likely due to her lack of friends. I enjoyed the satisfaction that came along with every tear I caused her to shed, knowing that somepony else could feel what I felt every second of my horrid life.

I joined a duo of troublemakers to spread my pain to others even more, but I really liked Twilight above every other sad soul that had the dissatisfaction of crossing me. She was so easy to break, so fragile, all I needed to do was taunt her about how her parents had dumped her with the princess because they didn't want to see her anymore. She reacted much like I would have if I hadn't bottled it all up, crying all the way to Princess Celestia to see if her parents hated her, and she never revealed that I was the one responsible for putting that in her pretty little head.

As Twilight rose to the top of the world, I was left to drown in my failures. I had a degree set for me, surely, but it wasn't as prestigious as I could have made it, nor was it enough to satisfy me. So, to fill in the void left inside of my ego, I doubled the dismay I spread to those around me. I started to drop classes I didn't need and instead replaced them with extra hours to visit the gymnasium, where I spent much of my school life from that point on. The weight room was the perfect place for me to gain the build I wanted, the form that would give me a sense of authority over all others that tried to oppose me, and something I could be better at than all the mares.

The harassment I inflected onto Twilight grew in severity, extending from the emotional damage to the physical as well. I never did enough to leave a mark that could be used against me later, but I hurt her bad enough to silence her please for help, along with any thoughts of telling anypony about everything I had done.

What I didn't account for was that she didn't plan on telling a pony, she went ahead and told a dragon.

Spike, I had learned his name by overhearing it from others, would walk around with Twilight as her bodyguard. I may have been a teenage filly with a good build, but this was a baby dragon, one that had naturally gifted strength that could easily surpass mine. So, whenever he was around, I picked on the rest of the class to feed my desire.

One day, Hearts and Hooves Day I think, the dragon that had blocked my attempts to further break my 'Nemesis' walked into class with a love letter in his little claws. I followed his eyes and found that he had become transfixed with Twilight, who was buried in a book at the edge of the classroom, and a wicked little grin grew on my face.

I found a way to pop the dragon's inflated heart.

The duo of morons I hung out with approached Spike on their own, intent on harming him as well without me having to urge them to do it. We took his letter and mocked him for it, but I didn't stop at that. I made sure to leave a deep scar in his thick skull, one that I was almost guaranteed would destroy any hope he had of ever becoming an item with Twilight. His tears felt so much sweeter to me, just because they were hard to achieve, but I had done it. I had caused a beast as mighty as a dragon to cry, and I loved every bucking second of it, reveling in all the dreams I crushed in the span of a minute.

How could I have known that decision would bite my flank in the future?

More years passed by, filled with the regular beat downs executed by my father and the tears of my mother, who was bawling over the way I had put their reputation to shame. They were truly the two biggest pieces of shit anyone could ask to have as parents. I was forced to put up with their everyday routines of berates and scolds just because I wasn't old enough to live on my own yet, so I decided to blow off all of my accumulated steam in a single day, and I knew the perfect filly to help me out.

I gathered up my little posse and searched the castle grounds for her, but it took me a long time to find her little hiding spot, where she was sitting near a tree in a secluded clearing. She looked at me for a single second before a scream welled up in her throat and her eyes widened in fear, only to be shut by my horn as I telekinetically forced her muzzle to seal itself.

"Please no, put me down!" she somehow managed to break free of my silencing hold when I began to levitate her off of the ground, but I liked to hear her screams so much more than her whimpers, they reminded her of the sounds she would make when her father would wail on her. I actually decided to laugh at her, mocking the helpless filly in my grasp right before I played along with her.

"Oh, what was that, put you down? Sure thing!" I hurled her against the tree's trunk, and the yelp of pain she gave of brought even more humor to my 'Friends' and I, but what really set us off were the little sobs we could here.

"HEY, LEAVE HER ALONE!" I didn't know what to think when I heard that voice, the one that had stopped me from getting the emotional release I needed to achieve by damaging Twilight's body and mind. So, I decided to play it cool and turned around with the same intimidating grin that had scared almost every student in my class on my face.

The rest of the argument with the scaly kid was pretty dull, mostly just dry taunts being thrown his way. The only interesting point I noticed was that he didn't remember me or the duo of nitwits at my side, and it really pissed me off that he couldn't even remember what I had done to him. It should have stayed imprinted in his mind forever, but he looked as if he genuinely didn't know who her group was, and I didn't like that at all. So, I decided to hurt him even worse than last time by mocking Twilight right in front of his face, dangling her upside down to increase the pain from her impact against the tree.

Then, it happened, the one thing that changed the course of my life took place on that day.

Before I even knew what had happened, I was consumed by a green flame spreading all over my body. That purple bastard actually had the nerve to blast me with his fire, and I wasn't sure I liked the way I looked when I started to panic for my life. Thinking back on it now, I wish the fire had simply burned me to a crisp to save me the trouble of living my life, but no. When the flames died away, I was left a horrifying monster, no longer being hidden behind my beautiful coat and mane. I was shocked at the sight of my newly-balded body, but that shock gave way to rage when I noticed something much more important that had been taken away from me.

My cutie mark was gone.

I was nothing more than a bald, unloved, blank flank with a temper that wouldn't be soothed by every therapist in the world if they were to so much as try. They had stolen what made me...me, or at least what my blasted parents shaped me to be. It was the signature mark that had sealed my fate as a model, and the two little bastards chuckling in front of me were responsible for everything. I planned to make them pay, so I lunged at them with a shout straining at my throat.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH, I'M GOING TO KIL-"

I couldn't say much more than that, not after the telekinetic aurora of a guardpony that had been attracted to the clearing by all the shouting held me floating in the air. Everything around me seemed to have burned away at that moment, metaphorically of course. I could only see to figures in the darkness I was immersed in, and they were the bi-cores of my hatred, ones that I swore to get back at as I was dragged away by the guards. The other two idiots I hung out with were captured as well for not running away sooner, and all three of us were hauled away to a holding cell inside the castle.

My trail started after three days of being shut inside the bland room that housed my posse and I as we thought about what had just happened. My parents weren't there among the crowd for me when I was being judged by Princess Celestia herself, accused with multiple counts of physical and verbal harassment after Twilight grew a spine big enough to be able to fess up everything I had done to her mentor. I never said a single word as I was shackled and transported to the correctement facility in the lower regions of Canterlot.

As soon as I walked into the cell I would call my home for the next seven years, I was introduced to Jacky, a tough looking pegasus mare with a red coat. I instantly saw the slightly crazed look in her eyes when I made contact with them, and they seemed to rove over my curious body as they took in my appearance. She didn't say a single thing for the entirety of the first day, and the only thing letting me know that she was even alive was the occasional shuffle her wings would give off.

The day in my cell wasn't all that bad, it gave me a moment to think about the track my life had taken since I was born to where I was now. Lunch was pretty calm as well, save for every mare in the room staring at me as if I were an earth pony that had just sprouted a horn. I felt horrible walking around the prison grounds, not just because I was in the prison itself, but because the flames had also burnt away my tail, leaving everything I had to show on display for anypony willing to look.

When the sun went down to make way for the moon bearing the silhouetted shape of a pony of legend, the bells signaling shower time rang out in a cacophony that strained my earlobes. All of the mares filtered into the massive bathing room, which was just a big square chamber with shower heads lining the walls and a drain at the center of the room. But what was really weird about the room was that it lacked any guards, or supervision of any form.

After realizing that this was a serious danger zone, I noticed that all the other ponies had made a circle around me, every single pair of eyes piercing into my very being.

My cellmate walked out of the small crowd with a smug grin adorning her malicious face, and she said things to me so horrid that I have difficulties even remembering exactly what her words were. The idea was still clear as air in my memory though, and it showed her asking me that if I thought I was a hotshot just because I beat up others. I didn't reply to that, I just opted to listen to their laughter reverberate off of the rooms walls, but it didn't end there.

I was caught by surprise as two earth pony mares came up behind me and pinned me on my back, giving me a perfect view of Jacky stalking ever closer to me. Her mouth was basically a factory for lewd commentary that visibly riled up everypony else in the room, causing their faces to grow ever more crazed by her tantalizing ideas. My horn was incapacitated, and my strength was useless while being held down, so I could only lay there and watch as she rested her body against mine and started to grind herself against me painfully hard.

That was my life for the next seven years, being everymare's little sex bitch at least four times a week. I would cry myself to sleep, wishing I had my normally crappy life back instead of being stuck inside that hellhole. As much as I didn't want to admit it, they changed me much like my guardians had. All of the depravity and sadistic intent rubbed off onto me as they literally rubbed themselves on me, hardening me from a simple schoolyard bully into a potential maniac, but I didn't let myself go off the deep end. Well, at least not at that time. I began to dream of what I would do when I got out of prison, what I would do to destroy the mare and the dragon responsible for putting me through all of that without inflicting as much as a single punch against them.

When my time was served, I was released from jail as a new mare, one that would stop at nothing to exact the revenge she truly deserved. The first thing I did was go visit my parents, just so that they could take a good last look at their daughter before I disappeared from their lives forever, but they had beat me to it already. The house was deserted, nothing but pictures of myself had been left behind when the penny-pinchers living within left, letting her know that they had been driven away by shame. Somehow, that managed to hurt my cold heart harder than anything in the past ever had. I cried myself to sleep on the floor again that night, actually wanting any company there to hold me, but I was alone on the dusty floorboards.

Princess Celestia called me to her castle on the second day of my newly-gained freedom, saying that she had an important matter to discuss with me, so I obliged. After all, one does not simply reject a request from a princesses.

When I trotted up to the castle, there were a pair of guards clad in gold waiting to escort me from the gates to the royal throne room. I was just glad that I could finally get some clothes on to conceal myself from the world, there's something about staring eyes that always seems to get me to give off a little shiver.

The princess awaited me on her throne, keeping her hawk-like eyes concentrated on me as I made my way to the base of the stairs leading up to her royal chair. She took in my appearance, incredibly not showing any sign of disgust at what she saw, but a nod of her head snapped me out of my own examinations.

She asked me a series of questions pertaining to how I felt now that I was back in a normal society instead of the power pyramid she called a jailhouse. I responded truthfully, letting her know that I was happy to finally be out of that freaking hellhole, but I didn't exactly phrase it like that. No, I passed myself off as a reformed mare, and she didn't spot a single lie because, for the most part, I was truly a changed mare. Not exactly a peaceful mare, but a changed mare.

To my surprise she offered me a job as a maid in the castle, one that I would master in the following few years as I climbed my way to the top rank in the castle's sub-department, ultimately becoming the adviser and accountant for Princess Celestia. I knew that my position would help me when the day to confront Twilight and Spike would come, and I was absolutely right when I stalked them to their bedroom window by using a simple cloudwalking spell. I took a couple of photographs of their little shenanigans that would destroy their public reputation. The next phase of my plan was to prepare a way to finish the job with a bang, and luck smiled down on me when I stumbled upon a vacant training room that held a chest filled with charged fire rubies. I only took one to avoid arousing suspicion in Celestia, and it worked out in the end.

For the following days, I followed the duo I so desperately wished to humiliate right before I annihilate them, building up my plans along the way. The day finally came where I blew them sky high with the makeshift bomb I robbed, and I felt satisfaction like no other that they were finally off of the face of Equestria, almost enough to finally have the peace of mind to kill myself. But no, that was all ruined just a day later when I found out through a couple of gossip mares that they had survived my final trump card.

I snapped at that point.

Now, I don't want to make fun of them anymore, I don't want to make them suffer, I don't even want to watch the blame get pinned on someone else, I just want to bucking send them to Tartarus as soon as I can. I can't go near Twilight right now since the guard is raised due to the search Luna has set up to find the ones responsible for the robberies, but I can prepare for the perfect moment. I can get ready for the chance I'll get to sneak into the castle and just blow half of the bucking building into smoldering rubble.

Now, we are back to the present time, with the morning light filtering in through my room's window. The sunlight reminded me of something important I almost overlooked, Princess Celestia. She was bound to figure out exactly who had thrown the fire ruby that blew up Twilight's library, and there were only so many suspects that had the connections to be able to get a fully charged one. Adrenaline rushed into my veins as fear of all my plans going to waste again came to my mind. Paper Press was still snoring on the ground, drooling on a pillow I don't remember lending him. A grin spread my face as I raised a hoof to smash it down on his rib cage, but something in my dresser's mirror caught my attention.

There was a monster there, one who's golden eyes pierced souls and hooves would rip apart all those whom it hated. It's exposed flesh poetically symbolizing what had become of the mare I once was. The facade cast by my beauty was torn off, leaving behind what I truly hid inside, nothing but destruction and hatred so confused it only latched onto three subjects that it despised with all of its being.

Twilight...Spike...and myself.

I put my hoof down gently onto Press' back, shaking him softly to rouse him from his sleep. He mumbled for a while before blinking open his eyes, without a doubt wondering why I hadn't beat him like I regularly did. I just responded by putting on my neutral face and talking in a even tone.

"Come on, Press, we've got to get moving before the guards raid this place." his face only grew more shocked, but he nodded back a response.

I handed him one of my spare brown cloaks as I switched out of the one Celestia had given me, it would be a dead giveaway to be walking around with the sun emblem resting upon my back.

I walked towards a little device I had created yesterday by hooking up an alarm clock to one of my makeshift bombs, pressing the button on it to activate the countdown. Press and I quickly exited the old building I had called my home for so long, not wanting to be anywhere near the scene when the device activates itself. I didn't know what to do other than hide, but I would come up with something sooner or later, I always do when I'm pressured. I heard the deafening explosion a couple of minutes later, and one of the smiles I had come to use so much in my lifetime crept onto my face.

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A/N:
Yo Spilight fans! Don't forget to check out the other Spilight I've got cooking up if you want to, here ya' go. Enjoy!

Faded Flame.