A Writer’s Guide To Being Octavia

by ThatOneRandomPony

Holy fuck, it’s been a long time since Ive put out a chapter. With all the EOC tests and stuff, it’s taking up my time. Plus Ive been working on my new story. Jeebus. Well, the time has come. So, please, take this chapter. Sad, though, that this chapter is a really crappy chapter due to my slacking. No slacking from here on out!

Oh, there’s no derpy in this chapter.

Jus’ so you know

So yeah.

Here yah go.

~

For some reason I'm unaware of, this song seems to be in my head again.

Strange.

The song lyrics swirl in my head, My heeaaaaaaad is spiniiiin’, and I feeeeeeel alriiiiigh’

“Man, I feel good right now. Like I can do anything!” I say to myself, throwing the now empty water bottle on the ground.

Food! I need food!

“Where can a pony get food nowadays...” I question, eyeing the street for any food vendors, noticing one in bright vivid flashing colors traumatizing yet hypnotizing me at the same time.

“McDonalds...”

I churn my legs towards the fat-filled, pink slimed, utterly disgusting restaurant at full speed. Why? I have no idea.

Though, that may be a bad idea.

Nah.

I run in through the front doors, and basically jump up on the counter

“Large fries, large whatever salad you have”

The person behind the register didn't seem to hear me

“Did you hear me? I said Large fries and a large whatever salad you have!”

I stare at him in his eyes. How can one person be so stupid?

“Earth to human, you there?!”

“Y-yes, ma'am” He replies, “Seven eighty-four, p-please”

I put nine dollars down on the counter. “Just keep the change, I just want my food. And don't forget the sweet and sour sauce”

Not too much later I get the classic white bag with the yellow ‘m’ on it. I grab the bag with my mouth and hop off the counter, and grab one of those booth tables. Kinda big for only one pony, but oh well.

I set the bag onto the table, and grab the other side, and yank to my left. The “food” inside comes spilling out onto the table.

I bite the plastic cover thingy off the salad and shove my face into it.

Lettuce.

Yum.

Wait.

Waitwaitwait.

I look back at the salad, noticing that they gave me a chicken salad.

“Oh, shit”

I run back to the counter where I got my order. Jumping up, I look the cashier in the face.

“You dumbass! You gave a pony meat!”

“I what now?”

“You deserve this” I say, standing up straight.

Next thing I know, I'm literally getting thrown out of the store. Maybe vomiting on him wasn't the best idea.

I land on my rump, a similar pain occurring from the first time it happened.

“Ow. Fucking idiots. Its his fault he gave me chicken.”

I stand up and regain my posture.

“What now?” I say, looking around the wonderful state of California.

I look into my satchel bag thing Ive kept.

Laptop, pencil, paper, and a can of coke. Strange, though. I don't remember packing that coke. Happy accident, right?

Taking out the coke, I stare at the metal top in awe.

Sometimes I wish I had thumbs, ya know?

“I guess this'll do” I say to myself, biting into the side of the tin.

Maybe not the best idea, but It certainly wasn't the worst one I thought of. Some included chucking the can at someones head hoping it would open on impact.

The can, not the head, jeesh. The minds of some people.

The soda from the can basically exploded all over my face. I cant believe I forgot how strong my choppers were.

I mean, her choppers. Not mine. Not that I could even forget something that I didn't even know.

But now my face is sopping wet from sticky coke.

Joy.

I chug down the rest of the Coke, and toss the can to the side. I don't think there's a law about talking magical ponies from Equestria throwing empty cans of coke on the ground on earth, so I think I'm in the clear.

The only problem was that the soda was still on my stupid fur-covered face

I sit down and contemplate on what to do next.

Perhaps sleeping?

Yeah. I think that sounds like a pretty swell idea.

But where to sleep is the question at hoof.

Perhaps asking a stranger would yield the best results

“Hey, bozo, where can I get a place to sleep?” I asked

The guy apparently just walked right by or didn't hear me.

“Hey! I was talking to you!”

The guy turned around, and for some reason, he seemed somewhat surprised. I wonder why.

“What do yo-” He started, looking around, only seeing a pony. “Hello?”

“Down here, bozo”

He just stumbled back a bit. ‘Parently he's never seen a talking pony before.

“Earth to human! You there?”

The guy just looks around. What the hell?!

“Dude, C’mon, you cant be serious. you've seen the news, right?”

“Alright, haha, very funny. You got me.”

“Ohmycele- Dude. This isn't a ‘haha pranked you kinda thing. I'm real! I'm a talking horse!”

“Uh... J-just don't do anything hasty, now.”

He threw a ten at me then ran. Sometimes people can just be retarded.

I take the ten and put it in my satchel.

Heh. Satchel.

I just think sleeping on the ground will be the best idea anypony ever has ever thought of. Ever.

I wander until I find an alley and lay down next to the classic green trash bin and close my eyes.

Perhaps nothing bad will happen after all.