I can hear the grey eyepatch-wearing pony walk behind me.

“Here, have this,” She says, holding out my new ice cream “It’ll make you feel better”

Instead, I stare back at her. I can feel the warm salty trickle of tears go down my cheeks. I had no idea what to think. All I knew was that I was sad, and confused. I say nothing, and just continue to stare back into her eyes.

“Don’t want it to melt, do ya’?” She says, smiling at me, probably in an attempt to help my mood

“I don’t want ice cream. I want to die”

“Now why would you want to do that? You have a full life ahead of you!”

“You mean a life full of lies? I mean, my life isn’t going as great as it is! Vinyl and I-”

No. Nononono! I don’t know Vinyl! I’m from earth, not Equestria, earth!

I can’t take this anymore. I shove my now furry face into my now furry legs, and cry like I’ve never cried before.

“Honey, it’s alright, we're in this together!” She says, hugging me, and yet stroking my mane at the same time. It was oddly comforting.

“No, its not. You can't even help me as it is!” I scream back at her

“Shh, it's alright”

I pull away from the hug. “No, it’s not.”

“That's why we’re going to new York”

“But I’ll have gone crazy by then! I don’t even know who I am anymore!” I say back. I’m desperate.

“Hey, aren’t we all crazy? I mean, who else would be crazy enough to come all the way here to meet up with me?”

“I only came here because I thought you could help me,” I say, pausing

“but you can’t.”

“The only way to get help is to help yourself.”

“How can I even do that?! I’m going insane!” I say staring down at my hooves "How are we even going to get to New York from here?” I ask, quietly

“Walking, driving, flying...” She responds back, unconfident.

“And your point is?” I ask, not really paying attention to what she is saying

“Hold on, come look at this” She says, walking over to a small flyer posted on a wall

“Idunwannamove,” I slur back to her, still lying in my cramped position. “What does it say?”

“Something about the... Lunar guard?” She says, grabbing the flyer, and dropping it

“Ack!” I say, scrambling the poster away from my face. “And, uh, your point is?”

“It interests me. Where is it again?”

“Somewhere in California, er, or here. I guess. I don’t really care for it. Isn’t our main goal to get to New York?”

“Oh, shush! We’re going here first!” She says, dragging me along by my bowtie “Hey, stoppit!”

I smack her her hoof away, and scootch back. “Your idea is on the border of stupid! Actually, It’s already crossed the bleviathan order, had children, so now it’s implanted in your America, uh, er, I mean mind!”

The next thing I see is the back of Derpy’s hooves meet my face.

I feel memories flooding my head, over taking the others.

I can’t...

Handle..

I then opened my eyes, surrounded by a world I have never seen.

“Where are we?” I ask, looking at the scarf and eyepatch wearing pony.

“Are-are you ok?”

I look to my left, and watch a leviathan of a steel monster hurl down a black path. I scoot back all the way to the wall.

“W-Where are we?!” I ask. The only emotion I felt was horror.

“Er, near a Coldstone”

“B-but I don’t see any rocks near here” I say, looking around even more

“Umm, quick question. What’s your name?”

“Octavia Philharmonica, why?” I reply, still shocked.

“Okay, do you know my name?” She asks, awkwardly staring at me

“Ditzy Doo, or something like that,” I say, waving my hoof around in circles. “I don’t really hang out with ponies of your kind”

“What do you mean by that?!”

“You’re a retarded horse, aren’t you?” I say, confident in my answer.

“Excuse me, I’m not some retarded horse!” She screams at me, as if I said something wrong

“Then what are you?” I ask in disgust

“I’m myself, and I don’t need to take any bullshit from you, thats who”

“Well in that case, I wouldn’t want to be near you so you can’t take bullshit from me!” I yell, and walk down the grey concrete path.

And then I see it.

A tall, tan-skinned thing wearing clothes

I clench to the side of the street in horror as it reached for me

I can hear the derp-horse in the background. “Um, sir, could you please let go of my imbecil of a friend?”

“I’m anything but your friend, retard!” I yell back at her

“Oh shut up you moron! How dare you call me a retard! You think you're Octavia of all things! We are on EARTH, not Equestria, we live on EARTH!” She screams back at me

Wh- what? That’s not... not possible

“W- what?” I ask, full of terror. I start to look around in a panic, and start to hyperventilate

“It took you that long to notice?”

“B- but I was.. just in.. I can’t” I say, as I start to feel my head go light, and my vision blurry.

-~

“That would have had to have been the craziest dream...” I mumble to myself as I open my eyes. Though the first sight of the grey mare isn’t pretty.

“No! Nonononononono!

“Good morning, pain in the ass”

“I want to be back in Equestria, now!” I scream at her

“If I could I would” She states flatly.

I start to tear up a bit. “Where the hell are we?” I ask, desperatly

“We are in Redding, you traveled here so we could meet up’

“I most certainly did not!” I pout back at her

“Yeah you did. You just don’t remember it.”

“How can I remember something I never did?” I scold back at her

“Let me inform you on what is going on: People are turning into ponies”

People?

“What are... people?” I ask in confusion

“Er, humans. Remember that thing you tried to pick you up? That was a human”

“That thing?” I ask, looking back

“Uh yeah. That thing was a human”

I sit silent for a while before asking. “Why?”

“Nobody knows, that’s why I’m taking you to New York”

“New what-now?” I ask, starting to get confused again

“This big city, don’t ask”

“Like Canterlot?”

“Uh, more like Manehatten, but close”

“Wait. Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be delivering mail?”

“I’m not Derpy, I don't do that.”

“But you are, you’re right here, and you are you, aren’t you?”

“My name is not Derpy, it’s Danielle. I’m glad to see that you’re catching on”

“Oh, so Derpy, er, Ditzy is just a nickname around ponyville?”

“Thats not my name...”

“Yes it is”

“Thats not my name, though. Danielle is my name.”

I stare at her with a dumbfounded look

“I don’t understand...”

“I’m not Derpy, or Ditzy, or anything like that. I’m not a mail mare from Equestria, or anything like that.”

“Then what are you?”

“I’m Danielle, that’s who I am”

I ponder my thoughts for a while before saying more

“I think I’m starting to get this,” I say, pausing for a while. “but I’m Octavia, though”

“Yeah, I know that” she replied, rolling her one eye.

“So what’s wrong?”

“This is what’s wrong: I shouldn’t be a pony.”

“Well why not? You were born in Ponyville, weren’t you?”

“No I wasn’t. I was born here on earth.”

“But you’re a pony...”

“Since yesterday morning, people have been transforming into ponies, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, right. But thats impossible.”

“Exactly!”

“So how is this happening?” I ask, astonished. “Discord?”

“Eeyup”

“Am I... is this reality?”

“Sadly, yes”

“So... I think I’m starting to understand this.” I say as I look around.

My cello! Where is it?!”

“Where’s my cello?” I ask, coldly

“You... don't have one”

“Yes I do. I always keep it with me.”

“Not here”

“Yes I do”

“This is another dimension, you became a pony yesterday, just as I did.”

“No I didn't, and I need to know where my cello is!”

“What's the last thing you remember?”

“Falling asleep”

“No, what do you remember?”

“I remember going to bed after a show, and falling asleep”

“Dreams?”

“Uh, not really. I don’t dream too much. Though, I did have a flashback in my dream, er, if that was a dream.”

“Dreams are messages from your brain to remind you what happened the day before. “What was the flashback?”

“It was between Vinyl and I... say, where is she?”

“I have no idea, she... kinda doesn’t exist here”

“She what? That’s just not possible”

“This isn’t Equestria, this is America”

“I know that, but she still has to exist, though”

“Not here, or atleast not yet. If you didn’t know, people have been turning into ponies”

“Oh, yeah, right. I guess its not that bad, though”

“You need to watch the news.”

“How do I watch news?”

“By using a T.V., imagine tiny flashing lights making pictures.”

“Wh-what? Like a photograph?”

“Eeeyup” She said, doing an impression of a farmer at sweet apple acres, or something.

“You irritate me on so many levels”

“Well sorry for tring to help”

“How are you helping?”

“Thats not the point, now is it?” I reply back, after thinking for a bit

“I hope you get hit by a bus!”

“Well I’ve rather had enough of this,” I say, as I stand up. “I wish the same for you, too” Finishing as I start to walk away.

“I wouldnt go running out if I were you!” She calls to me

“And why’s that?”

“How stupid are you?”

“I would very much like to ask the same question towards you”

“Ok then, have you seen an ipod?”

“A what now? A ‘Eye-Pod’?”

“Exactly!”

“How is that relevant to what we’re in right now?”

“It’s dangerous to walk in a world you know nothing about.”

“And we’re in this so called ‘America’ now, right?”

“Yes, do I need to give you a map?”

“I think I can make it through here without a map, thank you”

“Actually, you can't. Doing that is just like asking to be stuck in the middle of nowhere!”

“Well if I get lost, I can ask for some help, right?”

“From who?”

“Any of these walking two-leggers, that who!” She says, turning around, and smacking face-on into a large telephone poll

Memories... human past... flooding...

My nose

It hurts

Oh, shit! It hurts!

“‘Tavi, are you okay?”

My nose felt like the burn of a thousand suns.

“Owowowowwow!” I screamed, clutching my nose

“Okay, that answered my question.”

“My nose! Or snout, whatever! Is-is it broken?” I ask, trying to show her my snout without hurting it

“Nope, not that I can see”

“Frack! Then why does it sting so much?!”

It might be... bleeding” She gave me an awkward smile. “I guess I have to take you to the Doctor, huh?”

Heh... doctor...

Wait.

I stare at my hoofs, noticing a red stain. “Damnit! Thats the third nosebleed in the past two days! Where’s the nearest doctor, anyways?” I ask, my voice muffled

“Uh, I think there is one over by Coldstone...”

“Well,we’re about 10 feet from it, dummy” I say, still clenching my nose

“Uh, I have Derpy’s brain...”

“I think I can tell from the, uh, slow thoughts you are having”

“Hold on, did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“I heard Derpy’s voice...”

-~

Why she decided to bring me into a vet, I’ll never know. I’m not fond of being treated as an animal.

“How about getting some help, Derpy?” I ask, still clenching my snout.

“Shh! I’m filling out the paperwork!” She snaps back.

“But it hurts like living hell!” I almost yelled back at her.

“Then you fill it out!” She screams back at me, and hoofed me the pen and clipboard.

I kick away the clipboard from my now stumpy hands, or hoofs. Whatever.

“You think I can do that when I’m holding my nose?!” I scream back.

“Perhaps I can help.” Said a kind feminine voice from beside Derpy.

“So, your nose hurts, right?” Says the lady as she kneels down and takes the paperwork. “Looks like some minor blunt force trauma. We’ll get this paperwork filled out and get you in for some scans just in case there’s damage to and hard tissue that we can’t see, okay? Should be nothing to worry about.”

“Can we just get this over with?” I ask. I’m not in a good mood.

“Sure, Ms. Phillimonia, right this way. We’ll clean up the bleeding and get those scans.”

As I was lead back to the room, I had no idea what was in store for me.