Pony Rock 2by AspergerGoodness
Chapters
- The Saga Begins
- This is Legal, You Know
- Studio Time
- Album Production Shenanigans
- Don't Fire Me, I'm Just the Bass Player
- It's Like Two Chapters in One!
The Saga Begins
It was midnight. Pinkie Pie was on her bed, and she should be sleeping like everypony else. Something was bugging her, though. Something about the whole rock band idea. It was great, and she felt like it was one of the best ideas that she ever had. It was perfect. However, she felt like she took a wrong turn. Lincoln Rhettfield's record deal could crank that whole adventure up to 11. Sure, friendships would be in danger, but she was Pinkie Pie. She knew how to deal with that kind of problem. If things went as they were planned, they'd be immortalized not only as heroes, but also as one of the greatest psychedelic polka-rock bands in Equestria. Of course, she wasn't in it for the fame and fortune, but rather the joyful amount of fun and music. Hopefully, she still had enough time to change her mind and talk to Lincoln about it. Pinkie nodded to herself and went to sleep.
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"Linkret?", said Pinkie Pie, as she entered Lincoln's office at the music scchool. "Do you have the time?"
"Oh, hello, Pinkie Pie.", said Lincoln. "What brings you here?"
"About that record deal..."
"... yes?!"
"... I was wondering if I could change my mind."
"Of course you can! Just think of how many fans you're gonna get! You're gonna sell millions and billions and gajillions of albums! You're gonna get your music featured in movies, or even rhythm games! And then--"
"Linkret, I just want to make an album for now. I don't care about the rest. I just want to make ponies everywhere feel happy!"
"... that's good too. Okay, sign here."
Lincoln took out a piece of contract, and Pinkie signed it with a heart on the side.
"So, is that it?", asked Pinkie Pie.
"Come back tomorrow with the whole band at 8 a.m., and we'll talk."
"Okay! Bye-bye, Linkret!"
"Bye. My name is Lincoln, by the way."
"Oh, right. Bye, Linkin!"
"Sigh..."
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"Twilight!", said Pinkie Pie, barging in Twilight's house. "Twilight! Come here quick!"
"What is it, what is it?", said Twilight, zooming down the stairs.
"Do you remember that record deal Linkin offered us?"
"Don't tell me you just..."
"We're going to make our first album! Isn't this exciting?! We're going to make music, and we're going to record everything, but we'll want to keep some unreleased stuff, so our most hardcore fans can listen to them, and then we play that stuff in concerts, and then we can make medleys, and--"
"Okay, Pinkie, I get it. It sounds like a great idea."
"I know, right?"
"I was going to bring up an entirely new argument about how this could put our friendship in danger, and eventually, ruining everypony's lives, but you make it sound like it's the best thing to do."
"Aww, come on, Twilight, no need to be such a downsider. I promise you, everything's going to be okay!"
"Did I just hear you girls talking about a record deal?", asked Spike, walking downstairs.
"Yeah!"
"Can I help you with organization, and all?"
"Everyone can join us in this wacky musical adventure!"
"I... just want to work with you, that's all."
"Heehee, okay! I'll see you guys tomorrow, at the music school, 8 a.m.!"
"See ya.", said Twilight and Spike.
Pinkie Pie skipped through the door, humming a song of her own creation.
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"A record deal? That's awesome!", said Rainbow Dash, after Pinkie Pie had explained the whole situation to her and Fluttershy, in the middle of the park.
"I'm sure it will be great.", said Fluttershy, with a cute smile.
"It sure will!", said Pinkie Pie. "Meet me tomorrow, at the music school. 8 a.m."
"We'll be there.", said Rainbow Dash.
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"Pinkie, that's great news!", said Rarity, at the Carousel Boutique, after Pinkie Pie told her the amazing news.
"I know!", said Pinkie Pie. "It's going to be really fun!"
"Not only that, but we'll be famous as well! Just think of all the fans..."
"Hopefully, it won't end like last time."
"Don't worry, dear. I'm over it."
"So, tomorrow, at the music school? Is that good?"
"Perfect."
"8 a.m.?"
"Does it have to be so early?"
"Pretty please?"
"... alright. Expect me there."
"See ya!"
"See ya."
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"Sounds like a darn good way to earn some money for the barn.", said Applejack.
"You're not in this just for the money, are you?", said Pinkie Pie. "It means much more than that."
"Yah, it'll be fun too. Count on me."
"Are you free tomorrow, at 8 a.m.?"
"Sure, I start workin' by two o' clock."
"At the music school. Have a nice day!"
"You too."
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The day was over. Pinkie Pie had spent her whole time inviting her friends and planning some technical stuff with Lincoln. She had dinner and went straight to bed, dreaming of the wonderful times she would be having with her friends in the future, as one of the greatest psychedelic polka-rock bands in Equestria.
It would be lots of fun.
This is Legal, You Know
On the next day, the whole band was there... except for Twilight, for some reason. They waited for approximately ten minutes before they saw her running up to them, with Spike on her back, carrying a bunch of stuff.
"What took you so long?", asked Rainbow Dash, frustrated.
"I'm sorry.", said Twilight. "Pinkie, Spike wants to ask you something I don't want to ask for him."
"What is it, Spikey?", asked Pinkie Pie.
"Well...", said Spike. "... I wanted to know if you could hire me as your manager."
"Of course!... what do managers do, anyway?"
"... Pinkie, do you know anything about the technical part of having a rock band?", asked Twilight.
"Well, no. I'll ask Linkin some time."
"I really hope we're doing the right thing here..."
"Don't worry. Every little thing's gonna be alright.", said Spike.
"Hey, ah don't wanna interrupt yer conversatin' here...", said Applejack. "... but we're all here already, so we should be goin' inside."
"AJ's right.", said Pinkie Pie. "We'll set things up later. I'm sure Linkin will help us out too."
"Why am I getting such a huge feeling that something will go wrong here?", said Twilight to herself, as the band entered the music school, heading to Lincoln's office.
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"Good morning, Chia Lincoln!", said Lincoln Rhettfield to his pet chia statue of himself, having just woken up. He often ended up sleeping on his own desk, since he had so very much to work on. He always kept his head up, though. "Beautiful day we're having out there, isn't it?"
"Knock, knock!", said a voice knocking on the door. It was Pinkie Pie, because it sure sounded like it.
"Come in!"
"Here we are!", said Spike, as the band entered Lincoln's office.
"Good! Now, if you guys don't mind, I want to talk to you about... basically, the technical stuff you need to know about if you don't want to risk getting in trouble with the law, or anything like that. First of all, who is your manager?"
"We were thinking about hiring you...", said Pinkie Pie. "... but then Spike came up, and I decided to give him a chance."
"Does that Spike guy know anything about the technical part of having a rock band?"
"I don't think so... do you, Spike?"
"Just some really basic stuff...", said Spike.
"Wait... you are the manager?", asked Lincoln, with a surprised look.
"Yeah."
"Aren't you a little too young to be the manager for one of the greatest psychedelic polka-rock bands in Equestria?"
"Sure."
"... okay. I suppose you know where you're going with this. I wish you luck on that. Okay, so it's actually a good thing that Spike is here. He's the one who needs to know the most about this."
"When are we going to actually make some music?", asked Rainbow Dash. "This is so boring!"
"Well, I can see you're all dying to get in the studio and play your music, but this is really important. So, please listen, mmkay?"
"Fine..."
"Now, do you guys have a lawyer?", asked Lincoln. "It would be a GREAT help to you, especially to Spike."
"I was also wondering if you could be our lawyer.", said Pinkie Pie.
"... that's not a good idea."
"But we don't have anypony else--"
"It's a GREAT idea! Of course, it's a bit more work for me to do, but I can handle it just fine."
"Oh, Linkin, we don't wanna feel like we're drowning you in work papers."
"Yeah... but what can I do?"
"I could help out.", said Spike.
"Spike, aren't you getting a little too involved in this?", asked Twilight.
"Don't worry, Twilight. We'll split the work between us. How about it, Lincoln?"
"Well, Spike, it's your choice.", said Lincoln. "I'm okay with it. Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about royalties."
The word 'royalties' brought up Rarity and Applejack's attention in a matter of seconds.
"Basically...", said Lincoln. "... when you record an album, and release it in record stores, you will hopefully sell quite a lot of copies. You'll earn 10% of all wholesale-priced sales."
"Doesn't sound like much.", said Applejack.
"Who cares about money anyway?", responded Rainbow Dash.
"Well, to be honest, ah care 'bout it as much as you do, Rainbow. However, it'd be nice to have some money fer buyin' some important stuff. Ah'm not talkin' 'bout jacuzzis or diamond-studded swimmin' pools. Ah just want to raise some funds for the barn, that's all."
"Applejack...", said Lincoln. "... let me give you an example. Let's say your first album will cost, I don't know, $15. For each album sold, your band will get $1,50."
"So?"
"Well, if your album is interesting enough to sell one million copies, you'll get a whopping $1,500,000! You'll have enough money to take care of your personal stuff, and maybe you'll even have some bits left!"
"Heh... I never was good at math anyway."
"Anything else we need to know?", asked Spike.
"Just one teeny-tiny thing.", said Lincoln. Rainbow Dash sighed.
"What is it?"
"When you record your album, I will own the rights to it until five years after the contract ends."
"Wait, we make the songs and you take credit for it?", asked Rainbow Dash. "Not cool, dude."
"No, you'll still take credit to it. However, I'm the one who will decide, for example, if your song can be featured in somepony else's work. But since I'm such a nice guy, I'll let you take part in deciding this kind of stuff."
"So, that's all?", asked Pinkie Pie.
"Yep. That's all for now. Any questions?"
Everypony shook their head negatively.
"How about you, Fluttershy? You didn't say a word."
"No, it's fine.", said Fluttershy.
"So, can we go to the studio now?", asked Rainbow Dash.
"Yep.", said Lincoln, before Rainbow Dash zoomed through the door.
"It's music time!", said Pinkie Pie. "See ya later, Linkin!"
"See ya."
"She does know your name is Lincoln, right?", said Spike.
"As long as she pronounces it right, I'm okay with it."
Studio Time
Author's Note: this story will use a special feature that I like to call a soundtrack. It works just like a real one. Now, be warned that the songs used in all chapters do NOT belong to me, and I do NOT own the rights to them. Neither do any of the characters involved in the story. It's all fiction, anyway, so try to at least pretend they do, for coherence's sake, mmkay?
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"Hell yeah!", exclaimed Rainbow Dash, as she got on her drumset and did a rocking drum solo.
"Hey there, girls.", said Vinyl Scratch, apparently head of the recording studio.
"DJ PON-3? Do you work here?", asked Twilight.
"Well, I'm messing with the mixing tables, and I'm testing out your instruments professionally. Of course I work here. Hey, check this out."
Vinyl turned one of the mics and messed with some of the table switches.
"Hello, Twilight!", said Vinyl into the microphone. The sound echoed through the whole studio room.
"Cool!", said Pinkie Pie. "What else do you have there?"
"Now, Pinkie...", said Twilight. "... I think we can save this for later. We should be recording now."
"Your instruments are working just fine.", said Vinyl. "Oh, and I think Lincoln forgot to tell you something..."
"What is it?"
"According to your contract, you guys have exactly two months to get your album recorded and produced. Otherwise, you're pretty much doomed as a rock band."
"Oh boy..."
"I think it's a fair amount of time.", said Rarity. "We already have a few songs written, right?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"We could include them all in the album, and write two or three new songs. We'll get it done in no time at all!"
"Great idea.", said Vinyl. "Show me one of those songs."
"Fluttershy, how about that cool song of yours?", suggested Twilight.
"Okay.", said Fluttershy.
Please (Intro) [original by Fixed]
"It's great!", said Vinyl. "Although I'm afraid it doesn't sound anything like pyschedelic polka-rock."
"Well...", said Pinkie Pie. "... most of our songs sound like that. We'd just like to vary a little, to improve on the variation with the songs that actually sound like that. Get it?"
"... I think I do... anyway, that sounded great. Let's record it."
...
"Got any more songs up your sleeves?", asked Vinyl.
"Yeah, we got a few more.", said Pinkie Pie. "Haha! This is gonna be so much fun!"
"It's just the beginning. Soon, you'll have lots of new songs... hopefully."
During the next three hours, the Mane 6 had a great recording session, and played everything they had written until then. Vinyl was impressed by the huge amount of variation contained in most of their songs. It definitely sounded psychedelic, and it was cheerful enough to be called polka-rock. You could hear the music style of ten different rock bands contained in only one of their songs. There was Devo, there was The Offspring, there was Rush, and others, all mashed up into one masterpiece. Their performance was great too. Pinkie Pie's bass playing was still a bit clumsy, but the sound of the other instruments made it sound much better. Overall, it was pretty good.
"That's it?", asked Vinyl, still amazed by their perfect sound.
"Pretty much.", said Twilight, while drinking a glass of water, after all that intense singing.
"Girls...", said Applejack. "... ah'd hate to interrupt this great moment, but ah should be goin' home. Lotsa work to do at the farm, y'know."
"Yeah, I think that's enough for today.", said Vinyl, while the whole band said goodbye and left, except for Twilight. "See you all tomorrow, so we can start producing that album."
"How complicated is it to record and produce an album?", asked Twilight, always wanting to learn new things.
"It takes time... but once you get the hang of it, it's not that hard. We just take the songs we want, and then we dissect each one of them, so we can make them sound perfect. That is my job here, when I'm not DJ-ing in some special event."
"I'm working on a song right now, and I'm wondering if I can bring it here, so you guys can take a look at it."
"Don't hide any of your music from me. Or the whole band. That counts for all of your bandmates too."
"Even if it's bad?"
"Let me tell you something real nice: there is no bad music. There is bad sound engineering, there is bad instrument playing, there is bad instrument choice. But if everything is done right, with the right instruments and the right players, all music can be good... or at least tolerable. The thing is, don't be afraid to show us your songs, no matter how 'bad' you think they are. If the marketing industry doesn't like it, though, we can always keep your song as unreleased. Then we can release it in future compilations, or even hide it as a bonus track."
"Okay... see you tomorrow then! I still have to get Spike out of the office."
"Great singing, by the way."
Twilight blushed a little.
"Thank you."
Album Production Shenanigans
In the next day, Pinkie Pie was the first to arrive, as always. It was still 7:30 a.m., so she still had a whole hour to do whatever she wanted. She decided to visit Lincoln's office to talk about something important.
"Linkin, do you have the time?", asked Pinkie, as she opened the door to his office. Lincoln was sleeping on a pile of work papers, looking tired. "Oh, I guess you're not awake yet... I wonder what he's dreaming about."
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"Look out, Mr. Beetlehead! There is a cookie monster behind you!", said Lincoln to Mr. Beetlehead, on a war between the Beetles and the Crackers.
"MR. BEETLEHEAD KILL!", screamed Mr. Beetlehead, killing the cookie monster with the spikes on his back.
The war was intense. Cookies flew all over the sky, while beetles fought with swords and daggers until their deaths. Many allies were lost, but much more enemies were defeated. The Cracker tribe was about to give up. It was their last hope.
"Hey there, Linkin!", said Pinkie Pie. "Whoa! Who's winning?"
"Pinkie Pie?!", said Lincoln, completely surprised. "What are you doing?! You gotta get out of here!"
"I do?"
"MR. BEETLEHEAD KILL!", screamed Mr. Beetlehead, grabbing Pinkie Pie's neck.
"No, Mr. Beetlehead! Don't do that!", said Lincoln. "Pinkie Pie is our friend! Pinkie Pie good!"
"... Mr. Beetlehead put pony down."
"Pinkie Pie, what are you doing here?!"
"Oh!", said Pinkie Pie. "I just wanted to say thank you for giving us that record deal. It really means a lot to me and to my friends."
"Couldn't you say that AFTER we won the war?-- NO, MR. BEETLEHEAD!"
"MR. BEETLEHEAD... DIE... with dignity...", said Mr. Beetlehead, as he took an arrow to his chest. Everything was getting dark, and he was fading fast.
"Oh no!", exclaimed Pinkie Pie at the sight of an ally's death.
"Mr. Beetlehead... Mr. Beetlehead! MR. BEETLEHEAD!"
"Lincoln guy... tell Mr. Beetlehead wife and kids... Mr. Beetlehead loves them..."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
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"NO!!!", screamed Lincoln, as he suddenly jumped out of his chair.
"I'm sorry for what happened to him...", said Pinkie Pie. "... he was a great soldier."
"Wait... how did you do that?"
"I don't know... but it's plenty of fun. Your mind is very creative. Some ponies dream about all dark stuff, and others... I'd rather not talk about it. But it's still plenty of fun! There was this other time where I went into Spike's dream, and I got to help him on a true warrior's journey to save Rarity from the evil Diamond Dogs..."
"Alright, alright. Sounds really fun, actually."
"Sorry if I bothered you. I just wanted to say thank you for giving us that record deal. It really means a lot to me and to my friends."
"You already said that."
"I did?"
"Hey, look at the time. Your friends should be here soon."
"Oh, yeah! Thanks for your attention, Linkin! See you later!"
There was a professional-sounding knock on the door.
"Come in.", said Lincoln. Spike entered his office with a three-piece suit and a small suitcase.
"Lookin' good, Spike!", commented Pinkie Pie, as she skipped through the door.
"Heh, thank you.", said Spike, with a professional-sounding accent.
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"Hey there, everypony.", said Vinyl, excitedly. "You all feelin' right?"
"Right as an A-straight unicorn.", said Applejack.
"Twilight, did you bring that song of yours?"
"It's... right here.", said Twilight, taking out two sheets of paper, with music written in front and back.
"... sounds pretty good. I'm sorry, but by looking at you, I thought you were into emo music, or something like that. This actually sounds really... happy."
"Haha, I'll forgive you. Most ponies would say that."
"Can we record these songs already?", said Rainbow Dash, stretching her drumming arms.
"You're right, Rainbow. No time to lose.", said Vinyl, as she put her headphones on and messed around on the table switches. "Twilight, why don't we try your song out?"
"... alright, I guess.", said Twilight, a bit nervous.
Once in a Lifetime [original by Talking Heads]
"Sorry if I sounded too nervous.", said Twilight. "This is kind of new for me."
"Are you kidding?", said Vinyl. "It sounded better than I expected it to!"
"Really?"
"It was good.", said Fluttershy.
"I have never heard anything like that.", said Rarity.
"Well, thank you.", said Twilight. "I thought you wouldn't like it."
"This has to be on the album.", said Vinyl. "Maybe you can release it as a single!"
"You don't have to do that..."
"Trust me on this one."
Lots of songs later...
"How does this sound?", asked Vinyl to Twilight, as she played one of their songs and messed with some sound stuff on a computer.
"Sounds good.", said Twilight. "I think the guitar part should be louder, though."
"... how about now?"
"Not TOO loud."
"... now?"
"Slightly louder."
"... how's this?"
"Perfect."
"I think the rhythm tracks are too quiet."
"Well, we can't keep everything equal. It would sound too messy."
"You know what? I think I know what you're wishing for. Just wait a few minutes."
"I'll go talk to my friends, if you don't mind."
"Go ahead, I'll set everything up here."
"What are you writing there?", asked Pinkie Pie to Applejack, who was busy with a notebook and a pencil.
"Oh.", said Applejack. "Nuthin' much. Just a country tune."
"Hi, girls.", said Twilight. "What are you writing there, Applejack?"
"It's a country tune!", said Pinkie Pie.
"Yup.", said Applejack.
"Seriously?", said Rainbow Dash, with a towel over her shoulders.
"I think it's a nice idea.", said Fluttershy.
"Girls...", said Rarity. "... I've got to go. I've got a few dresses that are almost overdue."
"Okay, I guess we can finish everything tomorrow...", said Twilight. "... or the day after."
The whole band said goodbye and left, except for Twilight, once again.
"Done.", said Vinyl.
"Let's hear it.", said Twilight.
Psycho Killer [original by Talking Heads]
"That's exactly how I wanted it!", said Twilight. "Thanks, PON-3."
"Just call me Vinyl.", said her.
"Thanks, Vinyl. Now, I gotta get Spike out of the office."
"See ya later."
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"Spike, let's go.", said Twilight, opening the door to Lincoln's office.
"Bye, Lincoln. I'm sorry I can't help with anything.", said Spike, looking down.
"It's okay, Spike. It was bound to happen someday.", said Lincoln, looking much worse, as Spike closed the door slowly.
"What happened?", asked Twilight, worried.
"I've got terrible news.", said Spike.
Don't Fire Me, I'm Just the Bass Player
In the next morning, the alarm clock rang. Twilight turned it off and laid on her bed for a while. It was 7 a.m., and she felt like she was the only one awake. It was necessary, though. After the terrible news of yesterday, she would have to warn Pinkie Pie about it before things could get worse.
"Spike, get up.", said Twilight, as she herself got out of bed. "We must hurry."
Spike struggled to open his eyes, as he got up and yawned loudly.
"Don't you think it's a little too early?", asked Spike, scratching his back.
"She's Pinkie Pie.", said Twilight. "She's probably out of bed by now."
"What kind of pony wakes up at 7 a.m.?"
"Well, I'm not used to it either... and I sure wish we didn't have to do this, but it's just how life goes. Got everything ready?"
"Sure... let me get my three-piece suit."
Twilight went out of her tree, with Spike on her back, who was still yawning. He was right about how early it was - the sun wasn't even out yet. The streets were completely empty. Even the birds weren't awake yet. Derpy Hooves could be seen flying around in the rooftops, giggling like... well, herself. Those three were the only ponies around. Twilight sighed as she walked to the Sugarcube Corner. She couldn't run or walk any faster, due to how sleepy she was. The whole city of Ponyville felt completely deserted. At the Sugarcube Corner, Twilight could hear some noise through the open windows. Apparently, Pinkie Pie was already up.
Twilight knocked on the door, to be greeted by Pinkie Pie five seconds later.
"Hey, Twilight!", said Pinkie Pie, sounding as lively as ever. "What brings you here so early?"
"Well, Pinkie...", said Twilight, a bit nervous. "... I've got some news for you."
"You're a papermare now?"
"Not that kind of news... they're really bad news. I don't know if I have enough courage to tell you."
"Oh, I'm sure we can get over it. We're friends, remember?"
"... it has to do with you and the band."
"Ooh, we got our first blues! I'm writing a blues rock tune, it's almost finished. Wanna take a look?"
"Pinkie... you're in the band anymore."
"... haha, looks like I lost a little concentration for a moment. What did you say again?"
"I'm really sorry, Pinkie. I didn't want to do this, but you're not in the band anymore."
"Why not?!"
Twilight noticed Pinkie's mane slowly deflating.
"I... I don't know.", said Twilight, regretting what she just started. "It's not my decision, Pinkie. It was Lincoln's boss. If anyone's to blame, that one is him."
"But... but the album is almost finished! I even wrote lots of songs already, and they're great!"
Pinkie's mane was already drooping down.
"I'm sorry.", said Twilight, desperately trying to keep her friendship intact. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to--"
"It's alright.", said Pinkie, hugging Twilight with one of her arms. "I know it's not your fault. Good luck with the band. I know that neither you or any of our friends would want this to happen."
Twilight couldn't hold a tear of sorrow as Pinkie Pie turned around, going back to the kitchen to finish her breakfast.
"Pinkie...", said Twilight.
"There's nothing we can do.", said Spike, staying silent until then.
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Twilight walked slowly to Lincoln's office. Not because she was sleepy. She felt really bad for Pinkie Pie, after all she did to make it possible for them to be there, recording their music. It was her idea, after all.
Even though the bright sun was the only thing in the sky, the day felt gloomy and cloudy. Pinkie Pie's mood seemed to affect the whole town, apparently. It was rather unnatural, but it didn't matter much.
Arriving at Lincoln's office, Twilight noticed an angry-looking griffon negotiating with an almost equally angry Lincoln.
"20% or I'm out.", said the angry-looking griffon. "It wasn't my idea to participate in a girls' band, anyway."
"Alright, alright!", yelled Lincoln. "You'll have your stinking 20%. Now get the heck out of my office!"
"Whatever, boiled head."
The griffon got out of the office with a grumpy look on his face.
"Outta my way, losers!", said the griffon, as he pushed Twilight and Spike to one side.
"Hey, you shouldn't treat your manager like that!", yelled Spike.
"Wait... YOU'RE my manager? The wimpy dragon in a three-piece suit?"
"Yes, and he's my manager too.", said Twilight. "Are you the new bass player?"
"Don't tell me you're in the band too."
"I'm the lead singer."
"This is the worst thing Dad has ever done to me!"
The griffon knocked over a nearby lamp as he stomped through the corridor.
"Studio 3!", yelled Spike, as he wiped the dust off of his suit.
"Is he the new bassist?", asked Twilight to Lincoln, who had his head dropped on his desk.
"Much unfortunately, yes.", said Lincoln. "Gosh, I can't believe it. Five minutes with him was enough to make me want him out of here!"
"Well, we should give him a chance. Maybe he can write some good music."
"I'd be lying if I said that I don't hope for him to get fired as soon as possible."
"Aw, come on, maybe he just needs to fit in. Anyway, good luck to you and Spike."
"By the way, Twilight...", said Spike. "... me and Lincoln decided that you should be the opening band for a free concert tomorrow, here in Ponyville."
"Well then, something nice for a change. Whose concert is it?"
"'Weird Al' Yankovic. He's going to spend a few days in Ponyville to search for inspiration, and he thought it would be a good idea to do a show here as well."
"... why didn't you decide on that before Pinkie left us? She'd be hopping all over the office right now."
"We did.", said Lincoln, as Rainbow Dash got through the door, holding her drumsticks.
"Twilight, what the hell are you doing here?", said Rainbow Dash, sounding really frustrated. "You're the only one missing at the studio, and there's this retarded griffon thinking he's the boss around here."
"Maybe he just needs to fit in...", said Lincoln, sarcastically, as Twilight sighed and went to the studio. "His name is Stewie, by the way."
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"Alright, so what kind of music do you have here?", asked Stewie, turning the pages on the notebook being used to write their songs (he was introduced to the band off-story).
"Well...", said Fluttershy, trying to make friends with the griffon. "... we've got lots of different music styles, to make up for the psychedelic polka-rock genre--"
"I'm sorry, did I ask you something?"
"Um... no, I just wanted to point out that--"
"By the way, this 'Please' song sucks hard. Who the heck wrote this crap?"
"... I... don't know... it really does suck, doesn't it? Haha..."
"What the hell? All these songs suck!"
"Hey!", said Twilight, entering the studio. "Pinkie Pie wrote most of those songs!"
"No wonder she got kicked out. And I'm lucky that she was the leader of the band. That means I'm the boss now. And as the new boss, I would like to report everyone around this room that these are the worst songs I have ever heard!"
Applejack sat on the couch and put her hat over her face, pretending to sleep.
"You don't have to criticize our music just because it's different than what you like.", protested Rarity.
"Hey, just because you're cute, doesn't mean you have an opinion around here.", said Stewie. "Now we'll have to delay the whole recording process to write new and better songs."
Stewie then destroyed the notebook containing all of the Mane 6's hard work. Every single page got torn up and shredded to pieces. Fluttershy cringed at the sight of such musical cruelty.
"Hey, girls.", said Vinyl, coming out of the kitchen with a glass of water. "... what's all this papery mess on the floor?"
"You guys need a brand new batch of good songs.", said Stewie, as he pulled out a few papers from out of nowhere, with apparent music written on it. "Here's a few I wrote."
Vinyl took the papers and made a funny face, as if struggling to read that scribbly mess that was Stewie's claw-writing.
"Ugh... forget it.", said Stewie, turning to Fluttershy and handing her the rhythm part of his 'good song'. "You. The rhythm track. Learn this."
Fluttershy read the clumsy music-writing, and dropped her jaw a little.
"I can't play this!", said Fluttershy, stunned by how difficult the song was to play.
"Oh, look at me, I'm so wimpy, I can't play this, oh my gosh... shut your mouth and pick your guitar up."
"Sigh... fine, I'll just go... get some water in the kitchen... yeah. Twilight, would you come with me?"
"Okay.", said Twilight, as both ponies went to the kitchen. Stewie took out another piece of paper and gave it to Rainbow Dash, who looked really annoyed.
"This is the drum track.", said Stewie.
"It's freaking unplayable!", protested Rainbow Dash. "Like hell I'm gonna play this!"
"Who's the boss here again?"
"... I'll see what I can do.", she said, grinding her teeth with frustration.
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"Twilight, can you keep this a secret?", said Fluttershy, as she drank a glass of water.
"Let me guess...", said Twilight. "... you think Stewie is a jerk and the band was much better with Pinkie Pie here?"
"How did you know? Anyway, I don't even think we should keep this whole rock band thing anymore. I mean, if Stewie's going to rule everything around here, he might as well rule his own band. I'm sure nopony here wants him either."
"Yeah, I'm starting to think it's not a good idea to let him in the band. But what can we do? Lincoln told me Stewie is his boss' son, and he would be pretty much fired if he just kicked him out. And hey, let's see if we can stand at least one day with him as the bass player. Maybe our band will get much better with him."
Suddenly, the whole studio was getting blasted with incomprehensibly loud metal music. The ponies tried to cover her ears, but it didn't change much.
"Are you sure?", asked Fluttershy, as the paint was peeling off the studio's walls.
"No...", said Twilight. "... I'm not."
It's Like Two Chapters in One!
At the end of the recording session, Stewie went through the door without saying goodbye. During that whole time, the band had only recorded two songs... and both were bad-sounding Metallica covers. Rainbow Dash's legs were hurting from all the double-bassed chaos that was "Dyer's Eve". The other one was "All Nightmare Long", just to point that out.
"Is he gone?", asked Fluttershy, really scared of all that loud noise.
"Yeah...", said Twilight. "... finally. I give up. I think we'll have to break up the band."
"No, we can't do that!", protested Rainbow Dash. "The band is just fine! Just kick that retarded poser out of here and get Pinkie Pie back. Sure, she can't play, but at least she has a good taste and a sense of humor."
"Not to mention the widest creativity I've ever seen.", said Vinyl, drinking a glass of water. Rarity and Applejack nodded with a confirming look on their faces.
"It's not that easy.", said Twilight, with Fluttershy shaking her head in confirmation. "Stewie is the son of Lincoln's boss. If we kick him out, we can get in big trouble, and Lincoln will surely get fired as well."
"... seriously?", asked Rainbow Dash. "Here's my idea: we kick Stewie out, and if--"
"When."
"... fine. WHEN Lincoln gets fired, we pull a Hollywood and make his boss hire him again."
As the ponies discussed the situation a little more, Spike came through the door with a happier face.
"Hey, it's Spike!", said Twilight. "He looks like he has good news."
"Girls, I've got some good news.", said Spike.
"Yes?", said the whole band.
"You're going to be an opening band tomorrow!"
"Oh, that...", said Twilight, a bit frustrated, since she already knew about that. The rest of the band was happy, though.
"Who are we opening for?", asked Rarity.
"'Weird Al' Yankovic. Me and Lincoln talked to him about you... how your music was really innovative, and original. He got interested and signed us in. That's really good news, because he almost never has any opening acts."
Everypony faded their smiles a little.
"Pinkie Pie would have loved to hear this.", said Fluttershy.
"Stewie doesn't even deserve a part in this.", said Rainbow Dash, as the whole band packed their instruments and walked out of the studio.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Twilight and Spike decided to stop at the Sugarcube Corner to see how Pinkie Pie was dealing with the situation. It was almost night, but somehow, the sky has never felt so black. Stewie was pretty much all destroying the good reasons to have a rock band. It now felt like the worst job ever. It felt laboring and monotonous to put up with Stewie's horrible taste in music and his unfunny sense of humor. Not to mention his anger issues. Anyway, the Sugarcube Corner somehow felt lively and musical, for some reason, Apparently, Pinkie Pie was already over it.
Twilight knocked on the door, to be greeted by an overly happy Pinkie Pie.
"Hey, Twilight!", said Pinkie Pie. "How was the day with that new... bassist of yours?"
"I don't want to talk about it.", said Twilight. "And, I didn't think I would see you like that for quite a few days. Looks like you got used to it way sooner than I expected."
"Oh, that was inevitable anyway. Actually, I'm happy because of Weird Al's concert tomorrow! It's his first time in Ponyville, or in Equestria as a whole! I've been a fan of his music since... well... since I was aware of my own existence!"
"Hehe... yeah... that's really nice."
"You sound nervous. Anything wrong?"
"No, nothing."
"You know how good I am with secrets! Don't worry, I won't tell anypony!"
"I don't want to spoil your happiness..."
"Please!"
"... fine. We're going to open for him."
"... wait. You're opening for Weird Al?"
Pinkie's mane felt unstable again.
"I knew it.", said Twilight. "Pinkie, I didn't decide on this. I really wanted you to participate on this, and--"
"No, Twilight.", said Pinkie Pie, putting a hoof to Twilight's mouth. "I'm not sad or angry at you."
"You aren't?"
"No. I'm still going to watch Al on stage anyway... of course, it would be an honor to open for him... and I've been wanting really bad to go back to the Mane 6... and... yeah, I shouldn't have insisted."
"No, you shouldn't."
"Anyway, have a nice evening. I think I'll sleep a little earlier tonight, so I'll be the first to arrive at the theater, and all that."
"Good night to you then. Hope everything works out for you."
"Nightie-night."
As Twilight closed the door, Pinkie Pie's smile went away in the blink of an eye.
"Who am I kidding..."
---------------------------------------------------------------
In the next day, Twilight and Spike arrived at the studio, like they did every single morning. The day felt cloudy and sad, like it should feel since Stewie came in. Twilight didn't want to go. Stewie pretty much annihilated all the fun things in having a psychedelic polka-rock band. It was like... joining the military. Or something.
When Twilight went to drop Spike at Lincoln's office, she could hear some rather chaotic noise coming from the studio. It sounded like arguing. Really heavy arguing.
"What's happening over there?", asked Twilight to Lincoln, who looked kind of happy and sad at the same time.
"I told Stewie about Al's concert tonight.", said Lincoln.
"What's wrong with that?"
"See for yourself. I tried to stop him from shouting, but he's just too stupid to listen."
"Looks like you're in big trouble, Twilight.", said Spike, sounding worried and relieved at the same time.
Twilight sighed as she went to the studio.
"What the heck is going on here?", asked Twilight, slamming the door to the studio. Stewie and Rainbow Dash were having a battle of wits to the death, while the other band members were on the corner, looking scared. Nopony listened to Twilight, except for Vinyl.
"I'll tell you what's going on.", said Vinyl, drinking another glass of water. "Stewie is a jerk. That's what's going on."
"Well, even a retard can see that. I want to know what's happening right now."
"Let's just say that, if Stewie wins, you won't be opening for Weird Al tonight."
"Out of all the jerk moves my dad could pull off...", complained Stewie. "... this is, by far, the most ridiculous one! Put me in a girls' band. Fine. A baby dragon is my manager. Fine. But opening for one of the biggest losers of all time?! That's just idiotic!"
"Well, what do YOU have against it?", said Rainbow Dash. "Pinkie Pie may be the leader of the band, but that doesn't give you the right to boss around! Geez, TWILIGHT over there is a better leader than you are."
"You know, I don't give a shit about that pink-faced brain-lacker. Maybe she's the reason why you're all so retarded, and you keep whining all the time."
"Well, look who's talking now, dirtface!", protested Rarity from the crowd of scared band members.
"Dirtface? Seriously? Is that all you can come up with? I didn't even ask for your opinion. And you know what? I think--"
"Fluttershy, what are you doing?!", said Twilight. That caught just enough of Stewie's attention.
"... the hell?"
WHACK.
Stewie fell to the ground, unconscious.
"Oh my god!", exclaimed Twilight.
"I'm sorry!", said Fluttershy, knowing what she just did. "I'm terribly sorry! I just wanted him to--"
"That was awesome!", said Rainbow Dash. "You just hit him with your guitar, just like in the movies! Bravo!"
"Is... is he okay?"
"I'm pretty sure you didn't damage his brain at all.", said Twilight. "It was already in critical state, anyway."
That line managed to get a few chuckles from all the band members.
"So...", said Applejack. "... wut shall we do now?"
"In case anypony asks...", said Vinyl. "... tell them it was an accident."
"Haha, ah'll just shut up then."
"Vinyl, you just gave me a great idea!", said Twilight.
---------------------------------------------------------------
A few minutes later, the Mane 6 were at Lincoln's office, along with Stewie and his father, who was signing a retirement waiver, written by Spike.
"Come, son.", said Lincoln's boss, taking Stewie outside. "This ain't the place for you to hang around."
"But, Dad, you don't understand!", protested Stewie. "It wasn't an accident! That pink-maned bitch hit me!"
"Seriously? Look at her, she wouldn't hurt a single fly."
"But... ugh, you know what? I'm happy to leave anyway."
"Congratulations, girls.", said Lincoln, shaking Twilight's hoof. "Especially you, Fluttershy."
"Please don't thank me.", said Fluttershy, looking embarrassed.
"She's right.", said Rainbow Dash. "Thank Stewie, for being such a jerk."
Everypony laughed.
"Hey!", said Spike. "Can they hire Pinkie Pie back then?"
"I don't know.", said Lincoln. "You're the manager. Can they?"
Spike cracked a huge smile.
---------------------------------------------------------------
It was 7:30 p.m. The Mane 6's opening act at the Ponyville Music Theater would start in thirty minutes, and the place was pretty packed.
Backstage, no whining or shouting could be heard. Everypony knew why.
"Thank you so much again for letting me back in the band, Twilight!", said Pinkie Pie, hopping all over the place, as the band members were getting ready for the big time. "It really means so much to me. I mean, of course it would, I'm the band leader. But that doesn't mean we can't all be leaders! Anyway, thank you again and again and again and again and--"
"Alright, Pinkie, that's enough.", giggled Twilight, as she put a hoof to Pinkie's mouth.
"Sorry, I'm just that excited, you know! I mean... we're going to open for WEIRD AL! It's not a generic comedy rock band, like Tenacious D or The Offspring. It's WEIRD AL YANKOVIC! Not Yankovich, like most ponies would pronounce it. There's no H in Yankovic. Anyway..."
"Sigh... I'll get used to it."
"Girls.", said Vinyl, coming through the door. "You're up. Good show to you!"
"Equally.", said Pinkie Pie. "Wait, what did I say again?"
Twilight dragged Pinkie by her right arm.
As the Mane 6 got on the stage, everypony in the crowd started cheering. Twilight had forgotten that the band was so well-known around Ponyville. She didn't have cases of stage fright... but it still felt kind of awkward to play for dozens of ponies who knew everything about her.
"Ahem...", coughed Twilight, as she got to the microphone. "... hello?"
Everypony cheered louder.
"... this is, like... our first time playing live. I mean, not including talent shows, I mean... anyway..."
"Screw that!", interrupted Rainbow Dash. "Are you guys ready to rock?!"
Everypony cheered as loud as they could, while the first song began with Applejack's guitar solo.
The opening act was great. It was even better than the talent show act. Pinkie's bass sounded much more profesional as well. The setlist was great as well. The song order, organized by Twilight Sparkle, of course, was perfect, with each song fading into another one. The costumes were the best part, though - Rainbow Dash wore a bandana on her forehead, Axl Rose, while Pinkie Pie wore a bunch of different shirts stacked into each other, as a homage to Weird Al's "You're Pitiful" performance, and she would take them off one shirt per song (the last one had the Mane 6 logo on it). Rarity's outfit looked almost exactly like Ruben's outfit in "The Saga Begins". Overall... it was a pretty good show.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Backstage again, the Mane 6 congratulated each other through high-hoofs and friendly hugs. Rainbow Dash had never been so tired in her life, but she was still happy... along with everypony else, actually.
"Twilight...", said Pinkie Pie, folding her shirts one by one. "... can I ask you a favor?"
"Sure.", said Twilight, drinking a glass of water.
"Could we watch Al's concert now? I've been waiting my whole life for this moment!"
"... great idea! Do you girls feel like watching Al's concert now?"
"Hell yeah!", said Rainbow Dash, as everypony else agreed.
"We better get going then."
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Polka Face
"HELLO, PONYVILLE!", shouted Weird Al, like he did in every other show of his.
Everypony cheered.
"Wow... y'know, I've never played to a crowd of ponies before.", said Al. "I've played to human beings, farm animals, slime creatures from outer space... but never to ponies. Not to mention I had to pretty much break the laws of time and space to get here. As you can see, I have already suffered through enough inter-dimensional traffic, so I hope you enjoy every single stinking second of this show!"
Everypony laughed as the show was starting for real.
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Frank's 2000" TV
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Well, fillies and gentlecolts, that was Pony Rock 2 for ya. I think it's much better than the first one, don'tcha think?
Anyway, thanks to everyone who actually bothered to read this to the end. You rock!
Very special project coming soon. Really soon...
Rate and comment, please. Actually, I couldn't care less about the ratings, just leave a comment down below and go enjoy your life... or something.