If you came to hear a story, I’m sorry to disappoint. I suspect this’ll just end up as one big confession, really. When you’re the first Teutscher to set hoof into Equestria, I suppose that’s to be expected. And when you’re the universe’s favorite chew toy, doubly so. Still, with enough wit, some Prussian ingenuity, a droll sense of humor, and wanton murder, I might just survive this. Then again, when you’re going up against an unending list of things like government conspiracies, that guardian angel who keeps telling you to kill ponies, psycho Equestrian girls with allophilia, a lunatic princess, the legions of the Inferno, the Equestrian culture itself, swashbuckling sword fights, and laissez-faire economists, you begin to realize why there’s a big “if” in the middle of your life.
Your thoughts/critiques/deathreats are welcome in the comments. Spoilers are also encouraged. If you don’t have anything to complain about, do please tell me what you liked so I know what worked.
Now on TV Tropes. Posted on the Equestria Daily 5/28/13. Now in ePub format for your convenience.
43 Chapters:
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Chapter 1 — Also Sprach der Engel [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 21st, 2013
5,572
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Chapter 2 — Nemawaschi [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 31st, 2013
6,095
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Chapter 3 — That Government Boy [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 6th, 2013
8,901
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Chapter 4 — Cards [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Oct 10th, 2014
12,425
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Chapter 5 — Dice [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 10th, 2013
13,110
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Chapter 6 — Justice [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 11th, 2013
17,794
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Chapter 7 — Bump [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 26th, 2013
15,582
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Chapter 8 — Dogs [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Feb 20th, 2015
14,026
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Chapter 9 — Brunch [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Nov 11th, 2013
14,444
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Chapter 10 — Stories [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Nov 19th, 2013
21,197
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Chapter 11 — Knights [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Aug 31st, 2013
22,292
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Chapter 12 — Smile [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Jan 1st, 2014
27,072
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Chapter 13 — Nuts [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 9th, 2013
17,155
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Chapter 14 — Mother [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Jan 3rd, 2014
13,033
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Chapter 15 — Murderer [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 2nd, 2013
8,340
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Chapter 16 — Orpheus [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 1st, 2014
19,208
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Chapter 17 — Mud [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Sep 10th, 2013
14,774
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Chapter 18 — Drown [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Nov 14th, 2013
12,505
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Chapter 19 — Mirage [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 28th, 2013
12,916
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Chapter 20 — Foreleg [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Sep 28th, 2013
6,510
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Chapter 21 — Arm [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Oct 5th, 2013
7,641
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Chapter 22 — Crystal [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Oct 19th, 2013
12,953
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Chapter 23 — Ice [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Oct 19th, 2013
6,320
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Chapter 24 — Canterlot [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 29th, 2013
15,982
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Chapter 25 — Cherriest [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Nov 3rd, 2013
6,157
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Chapter 26 — Somewhere Far Beyond [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 7th, 2013
8,970
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Chapter 27 — Courses [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 22nd, 2013
10,854
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Chapter 28 — Gunslinger [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 22nd, 2013
24,381
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Chapter 29 — Black [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 22nd, 2013
26,880
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Chapter 30 — Robbery [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Dec 29th, 2013
23,171
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Chapter 31 — Victory... [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Jan 5th, 2014
10,980
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Chapter 32 — Oaken [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Jan 20th, 2014
13,508
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Chapter 33 — Decked [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Jan 26th, 2014
16,808
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Chapter 34 — Ende [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Feb 23rd, 2014
3,727
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Chapter 35 — Glass [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Mar 9th, 2014
7,489
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Chapter 36 — Rosenlied [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Mar 22nd, 2014
9,528
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Chapter 37 — Thinking [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 12th, 2014
1,278
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Chapter 38 — Depths [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Apr 13th, 2014
8,906
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Chapter 39 — Back in Black [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
May 4th, 2014
9,531
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Chapter 40 — Penrose [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Sep 13th, 2014
24,573
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Chapter 41 — Death of a Teuton [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Jan 17th, 2015
3,377
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Chapter 42 — Lady [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Mar 2nd, 2015
6,416
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Chapter 43 — Der Leiermann [Fimfiction.net] [Cache]
Mar 7th, 2015
3,388