Stryker and Cage were resting under a tree, watching Rainbow Dash fly around, practicing on her day off.

"Damn, she's fast." Cage said.

"No doubt."

"So, you and her had to switch between, like, souls in the other's body?"

"Umm, yeah, I suppose, it's complicated, really hard to explain, you had to have seen it to believe it."

"Sure, makes sense."

The two looked off to the right to see a familiar face.

"Hey, Weasel, where ya been?"

"At the farm Johnny." Albert replied.

"What happened to your hands?"

"Nikolai had a nightmare, really scared him. He tried to drink it away, but... yeah..." Albert put his hands in his coat pocket.

"What was it about?"

"I dunno, something about some giant, or something."

"Dude, I dealt with giants."

"I don't think shokan count, Cage." Stryker said in an annoyed tone.

"So? Liu may have hurt that guy, Goro? But I have hurt more of them, and then some."

"What the hell's a shokan?"

"Think big asshole, and give him four arms."

"Jesus, four arms? How the hell does that work?"

"I dunno, just know that they can punch really hard. So my answer, give 'em the Cage special."

"What's a a 'Cage Special?'" Wade asked, lying down on the tree branch.

"Come down, I'll show ya."

"Lawl, K." Deadpool teleported down to Cage's level.

"You really?"

"Yep."

Cage nodded, did a split, and gave the Cage special to Deadpool.

The merc immediately widened his eyes, and fell to the ground, holding his groin in massive amounts of pain, whimpering.

"BWAH, HA HA HA!!! HA HA HA HA!!! Ha ha..."

Everyone except the pained merc looked to see Rainbow Dash, hovering above the ground, fauz-wiping away tears from her eyes.

"That was hilarious! Ha ha... ha, my sides." Rainbow said, holding her sides.

"Well, that was... unusual." Weasel said, unsure whether or not to laugh as well. He didn't know Deadpool that well, so he ended up not enjoying the guy's suffering.

"Come on Al, where's your sense of humor?" Rainbow asked, prodding his arm with her hoof.

"I suppose that, I am not in the mood to laughs." Al was silent for a few moments. "I'll go see how John's doing." Albert said, walking towards town.

"What's wrong with him?" Stryker asked.

"I dunno. All I know is... GAAAH!!!"

"WHY DID YOU PUNCH ME IN THE BALLS, BITCH!!! YOU KNOW WHAT, I'LL DO THAT TO YOOOOOU!!! AGAIN!!!"

Stryker then tazed the insane mercenary, making him drop to the ground.

"Dammit Wade!"

Weasel looked left and right. He saw friendly faces, genuine kindness.

It was jarring to think that he was in the hellhole, Alcatraz. Full of some of the worst scum to have ever lived in America. Hell, he even saw Al Capone there of all people, just before... that night.

Oh, how that night changed him future, how he would end up in a living hell...

And worst of all, he was stuck... with them...

He was already dead, but the killers came with him. He remembered it. He hated them just as much as they hated him.

Oh, how he was glad he lied to those fools. The deaths were true, but...

He did it, with a dark pleasure.

And that pleasure now haunts him. He hated himself for loving to kill them. He especially loved to kill Billy the most. Damn bastard mutilated him, while he was alive, truly alive.

He felt alone in this world that could accept him so much, he felt...

"Holy... the hell happened to your hands?"

Albert was knocked out of his trance when he saw David and Link staring at the bandaged hands.

"Eh, long story short, a broken vodka bottle."

David rolled his eyes and spoke in an annoyed tone.

"Ugh, Nikolai. Will that fatass ever stop drinking his life away?"

"What do you have against him?" Weasel said in a menacing tone.

"The man annoys me so much. That man is always drunk, always saying bad jokes, and he spoke about his time with his wives, particularly the dicorces." David said, flexing his index and middle on every syllable of 'divorces'.

"You know, he still has a soul." Weasel said.

"Probably a black one."

Albert was trying to fight the urge to stab him, to shank and shiv him. He took a deep breath and then walked away.

"Geez, why is he friends with that drunk?"

"Is it just me, or did he seem like... he was going to kill you?" Link asked.

"I bet he was just pissed. Now, let go to... Hey, is that Wade running away from Johnny?"

Link turned to see that Deadpool was indeed running away from the pissed action star.

"Come back here!" Cage said, waving his fist.

"nope.avi" Deadpool then attempted parkor, and succeeded. Johnny, now unable to get the merc, just stomped his foot in frustration, and walked away.

"Man, was that close!" Deadpool half-yelled, teleporting in-between the two humans.

"Yeah, close."

"Ya know Link, I used to think your world was boring, but then I saw the rack on Midna an..."

Link responded by finally doing something that he wanted to do since he got here, punching out Deadpool with a right hook. Anger was clear in his eyes, David looked down, and then saw Midna float down to them.

"Link, this is..."

"Ah, don't even say it, the asshole's been taunting Link since we met. Guess it finally spilled over." David attempted to calm the Queen's nerves.

"I don't see how..."

"Yo, tall girl!"

The trio looked down to see Wade, conscious again.

"Awesome boobs you got."

Midna widened her eyes, and had an eye twitch.

"Go ahead." Link and David unisoned.

Weasel walked into the library. He soon looked to see Rarity, John, Harry, Twilight and Spike, in the order he saw them, doing various things in the library.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Albert panicked. Whenever a noise like that happened, it was a shanking back in Alcatraz. He knew it was Wade, but what happened?

"What was that?" John said in a worried tone.

"Wade probably did something mind-numbingly idiotic, that somepony lashed out, with force, I might add." Rarity said calmly, apparently having dealt with this before.

"Yep." Twilight said, not looking up from her book.

"Does this happen regularly?" Albert asked in an exasperated tone.

"Yes." The ponies and dragon said in unison.

"Oh dear." John shook his head, and took out a violin to play. The music he played was beautifully orchestrated. The others in the room sighed in contentment at the man's talent in music.

When he finished playing, he took a deep breath and put away the violin. He then heard clapping from around the room.

"Marvelous playing, darling."

"That was excellent, John."

"Very good man."

Weasel himself enjoyed it.

"Yeah, it was good, very good."

"Thank you all, thank you all very much."

A man who never needs to brag. He would be beaten up back in the day for being a huge nerd.

Just then, a naked man burst through the window and smashed into the wall. Everyone looked to who it was.

"Owie..."

"Oh, Deadpool." Harry said in a deadpan tone as Twilight teleported him upstairs.

"Is that normal?" Albert asked.

"No, but since it's Wade..." Harry left it at that.

"You have to be kidding me." Albert walked out the door, hand on his head in confusion.

"Seems like he broke, I think." Spike said.

"I guess so."

At that moment, Link bashed in through the door, panicking.

"What's wrong?" John asked.

"Midna, she wants to make sure Wade would regret his decision."

"She had a nice rack!" Wade yelled from upstairs.

"Huh?" Spike was too young to understand what that would mean.

And then Midna walked in, and she had an aura with clearly evil intentions.

"Oh no..." Link said with a trace of fear. Twilight's ears drooped, along with Rarity's.

"Where is he?" Midna asked in a fearsome tone.

Weasel walked along, hoping to find something interesting. He just walked and... "What is that noise?"

Al turned to see David's car come around the corner, and he turned on some kind of device. The superhuman turned to see Al, and smirked.

"Hey Al, we need to talk."

Weasel wasn't sure what to do. Would he talk to the man who insulted his friend earlier? David answered that for him as he grabbed Albert by the arm and threw him in the front seat.

"Hey, what was..."

"Oh, shshshsh shhh. I'll just say, sorry. I dunno what I was thinking. Also, Midna's scary as hell. Let's go." David used the seatbelt on Al for him, put one on himself and floored it. Weasel was scared out of his mind, he didn't know what was happening. He was going too fast for his tastes. The most exciting thing for him was Icarus, which crashed and fell.

"This is... hah..."

"Scary, right? You'll get used to it asshole."

"Hey!"

"Fine, no insult of friendliness then."

"What, that's a complement?"

"Well, yeah. Some badasses call each other asshole, or dickhead, or penisballs, particularly Deadpool, heissofuckingdead."

"Oh, of course, him. That guy's a psychopath!"

"Yep." David said, driving into the Everfree forest.

"The hell's this tune?"

"Oh, you don't like electronic music from 2010?"

"Wait, 2010?"

"Oh right, yeah, your from the time of scared bitches in the USSR and the USA. I gotcha." David said, clicking his tongue.

"You're not making any sense."

"I'm not?" David had a blank look on his face, before shaking it off. "Dah, fuck it, we gonna... hey, look." David said, slowing down.

"What?"

"Blue eyes..." David knew one thing, glowing blue eyes meant a zombie, and they were always annoying.

"What about them?"

"How good are you at zombie murder?"

"OH no, I ain't gonna kill anymore zombies, I had enough in Alcatraz."

"And in my world, Alcatraz was finished in 1934. Your point?"

Albert was getting annoyed. "I'm not going out."

"We don't have too. This car's like a shell with superglue sealing it, it'll take a lot more than one zombie to open it... But if it ruins the paint job..." David said, emphasizing the anger with a tap on the wheel.

"It's a car!"

"And one that I raised myself, granted, it appeared out of nowhere when I got my powers, but still."

Hard thudding could be heard. The two looked to see Hagrid, rubbing his hand under a manticore's chin. David rolled down the window and peaked out.

"What?"

"May I ask, what are ya doin' 'ere?"

"Ehh, relaxing. Watching nature. Gonna run over that zombie over there." David rolled up the window and revved the engine. Just as David prepared to go, the eyes vanished, confusing the man, and turned off the engine.

"Ehh, what?"

"Guess it died, somehow."

"Or, we're being watched." David summoned a Python revolver and hopped out. Albert decided he had nothing better to do and took out an upgraded Blundergat. The two walked over to where the glowing eyes were, and found something.

"Hey, looks like a Ray Gun, but... different." Weasel pointed out.

"Eh what now?" Hagrid asked as the manticore licked his face. (Hehe, stop dat, you.)

"Huh." David picked it up. The normally green ring soon grew brighter, then dimmer, and was now glowing purple.

"The fuck?"

"What did you do to it?"

"I dunno." David pulled the trigger, shooting three lasers at a nearby tree. The marks were now burning with purple smoke.

"Blimey! Wot did ya just do?"

"I dunno big guy, but I like it. I'm gonna keep it." David said as he turned off the device and pocketed it.

Meanwhile, Samuel/Richtofen was watching from the treetops, seeing David taking away the Ray Gun MK II.

'Nien, oh vell, acceptable losses.'

Hey, you want me to kill him? Samuel asked nervously as he readied a Remington New Model Army.

'If you vish.'

Good, cause I don't wanna.

'Oh, I hate zis zing ve are in.'

"Yeah, no shit."

"Who's there?" Weasel asked, pointing his Blundergat at the noise.

Ah shit! Samuel fell out of the treetop, and Richtofen took control.

"Hey, another zombie!" David yelled.

Richtofen took no time and fired at David, hitting at his face. The man just recoiled before looking back at the man, welt forming at his forehead.

"Oh shit, you are bulletproof."

"Huh, you must be turning."

"Nien, I am not, get avay." Richtofen ran off, with the two men nodding and running off.

'YOU LOVE TO MAKE ME SUFFER, HUH!!! I'd rather spend a year, stuck inside a small room with Misty then deal with another day with you!'

"Zis is not vhat I planned. How vas I supposed to know zat humans vere here already?"

"Who are you talking too? Humans already here?" Weasel asked.

"Nien, not you." Richtofen fired two more shots at the duo, missing terribly.

"Just stop, and talk, alright!" David yelled.

"No, not now, not ever!" Richtofen dove into a nearby river, leaving two men unable to follow.

"Dammit!" David stomped his foot in frustration.

"What now?"

David snapped his fingers. "We go back."

"How?"

At that moment, the car came back, and David stepping inside.

"Oh."

After driving into the barn, Weasel and David got out to see Nikolai, drinking from his bottle. It was about noon, so it might be a lunch drink, as he put it.

"Hey Drunkass."

"David, what are you doing now?"

"Found this thingy." David said, pulling out the Ray Gun MK II.

"Woah, that looks like Ray Gun, only longer."

"Yep fires lasers too."

"Wha?"

"I do not know either." Weasel said.

"Can I see?"

"No, you stay. By the way, the fuck happened to your hands?"

"Vodka accident."

"Typical." David hopped back into his car and drove off, leaving the two men alone. For several minutes, they simply looked at each other, not wanting to talk. Weasel decided to break the silence anyway.

"So, who was the shrink?"

"Bitch." Nikolai said, taking a drink of vodka.

"Whatever."

"SOUP'S ON EVERYPONY!!!" Applejack yelled to announce lunchtime. The two looked at each other, and simply decided to have some food.

What's is going on Al, nothing is making sense anymore.

Author's Notes:

I'm back bitches!