Six

by Awesomedude17

First published 20th of October, 2012

A prophecy, 6 men, 6 ponies, one hell of an adventure.

Six
The Honest Drunk.
The Kind Hero.
The Loyal Law.
The Generous Normality.
The laughing Psychopath.
The Magical Wizard.
Heroes forever.

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A Humble, Yet Traumatizing Beginning

In an ancient time, there was a pony cult by the name of 'The Alliance of Futures.' They were prophets, forseers of the future. One day, one saw a vision, and gasped.

"What, what is it?"

"My word! I saw the future, two millennia!"

"What, how is that possible? Art thou sure of this?"

"I have never been so sure of it! I saw six... creatures."

"Creatures?"

"Yes, I see... A bipedal creture, drinking from a bottle, stumbling like a drunken idiot!"

"What? Are thou sure you aren't..."

"I also see, another creature, clad in red and talking... nonstop."

The stallion overseer remained silent. This was too strange, but it had to be true.

"Then, one more, clad in green, sword and shield drawn for combat! Another, dressed in strange armour, one that could be better than ours!"

"What?"

"And, it isn't any type of metal we hath seen before! One's capable of our magic. And finally, the last one, one with no power at first, but will gain, if he chooses to accept a new normalcy!"

"Hmm. I see. Write it down!"

The pony did as he was told, as the drawing is finished, the overseer gasped. Humans were what he drew, and they seem to be a future hope for the land foretold.

"And one more thing... These men, they are forced to absorb the spirits of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony! By night they come out, and at day, they recede and let the bearers take control."

The overseer widened his eyes, the Elements of Harmony were involved, and it seemed that they were going to have to fight for a new era of an unknown land.

"You may leave now."

"Thank you."

For your sake, I hope this one is wrong.

There was a man dressed, full-body, in red spandex. He was humming 'Some Chords' by deadmau5. He then began to speak.

"Well, what's my job today?" He was to be answered by a voice in his head, two actually.

Maybe you'll kick some ass!

A nice relaxing day?

"Nah, maybe I'll..." The man's phone began to ring.

"Yello!"

"Is this Deadpool?"

"Yep, I also go by the Merc with the Mouth, the..."

"Shut it! I have a job."

"Really now?"

"Groom Lake, Nevada. 7:40 p.m.! Don't be late!"

"Fine! I'll be right over."

"Excellent..." The caller hung up.

"Welp! I gots me a new job!"

Groom Lake? Why does that seem familiar?

Who cares? Jobs!

"Yep! Time to arm up!" Deadpool walked to a nearby closet and opened it.

"Oh ho! This is gonna be good!"

David Vulakh was a normal teenager, he had a family, was just getting out of high school, and was ready to go by the day. He was 6'1, brown curly hair, hazel eyes, average gut, square-frame glasses, and was fair skinned.

"David! Time to go to school!"

"I'm coming mom!" David put on some jeans, a t-shirt and dashed down to the door.

"You ready, David."

"Yep! I'm good." David said as he took some Pop-Tarts for breakfast. It was going to be his last day of school and he was ecstatic.

"Great! Hailey, you ready!"

At that moment, David's step-sister came out. "Ready."

"Great, let's go."

The three went out of their apartment and walked down the stairs. David was going have a good time.

Death... It was everywhere. A single man was crawling out of the carnage. He looked to the pyramid nearby, and saw a man fall down the steps, face smashed. He looked to see a man with a skull helmet and a massive war hammer walk down.

No... It can't be... It is... over, we... lost.

The man slumped down. He had lost the battle that would determine the fate of Earthrealm, and he was one of the protectors. He needed to get out, there is no stopping Shao Khan now, he would need to raise a resistance.

How the hell did you get into this, Stryker?

A man in a green tunic was riding his steed down to the castle. Link had always knew that Epona would be a reliable steed, even if she had a few scuffs here and there. He patted the horse's head, and proceeded to stop by the town square. Hyrule Castle awaits, and so does Queen Zelda. Without words, he walked through the bustling marketplace.

Oh look, it's that goron I helped to set up that hot spring water stall. Link thought to himself as he passed a stall run by two gorons, miners of ore in Death Mountain near Kakariko Village.

Link walked to the castle doors, and was stopped.

"Halt! What is your business with the Queen?"

Link took out a sword, along with a scroll. In it, it wrote, 'This man is to be given access for an important delivery. Queen Zelda of Hyrule.'

The guards looked at it, and proceeded to open the gates. Link walked in.

Just make the delivery and get back to Ordon Village Link, easy!

Link looked back to see the gate closed behind him. He looked forward, and started walking.

"Well, we blew up Earth."

"No shit, Nikolai!"

"I berieve, that this is just the beginning of a new battre!"

"I agree with Uncle Takeo!"

Four men, An American diehard, a drunk Russian, an honorable Japanese warrior, and a little girl's soul, trapped in a German man. Tank Dempsey, Nikolai Belinski, Takeo Masaki, and Samantha Maxis were very vengeful of Richtofen for ruining their lives.

"You know..." Nikolai started off. "I think we should drink."

"And I say, be quiet, you Russian pigret!"

"Fuck you Takeo!"

"Uh, guys." Dempsey said.

"What!?"

"Freaksacks!"

The group looked to see zombies, hopping over to the four in low gravity.

"Time to kick some ass."

"URA, Dempsey!"

And so, the four began to finish the fight on the moon, unaware of the challenges that face them now.

*BRR!* *BRR!* *BRR!*

A man smacked his alarm clock on the top. He was tired, but his job in England was not over by a long shot. He got up and looked over to his wife.

Ah, Ginny. Good to see you're okay.

The man got up and walked towards the shower. Harry needed to get clean for his job at Auror Department at the wizarding community. It was just 7 years since Voldemort was defeated for good. It was a good time so far.

-25 minutes later-

Harry was fully dressed for work and gave Ginny a kiss, before going to Diagon Alley.

Twilight Sparkle was ready to test out a new spell, she had gathered her friends to show this new spell.

"Okay girls, if I'm right, this spell should allow us to gaze into another dimension."

The mares 'oo'ed and 'ah'ed at that comment, they were ecstatic.

"Oo, oo, I wonder if whatever is on the other side likes cupcakes!"

"Well, we won't know Pinkie Pie. This is like a one way mirror."

"Well Twi, Ah hope ya know what yer doin'." Applejack said.

"Trust me! I know what I'm doing." Twilight began to cast her spell, a wormhole-like portal appeared, an image was starting to appear.

"This is it! Let's gaze into the beyond...AHHH!" The spell went wrong, it was hurting not just Twilight, but the rest of the Mane 6 as well.

"Okay guys, I surrender!" Deadpool said as he put away all his guns.

Crap, how'd we get into this?

When you accepted that job to sneak in Area 51 to steal technology, and got caught doing it.

Oh yeah.

"Well I'm screwed!"

"DEADPOOL! YOU ARE TO BE TAKEN TO A TOP SECRET MILITARY BASE FOR YOUR ACTIONS!"

At that moment, Deadpool got a shock to his system.

"Ah, the pain is here somehow!"

OH CRAP!

Wade! I think we're...

Deadpool glowed a bright white, floated in the air, and disappeared.

"Where'd Deadpool go?"

"Don't know, it did seem like he was killed."

"Let's go with that, soldier."

And with that, the high-alert was over.

"Ahh..."

"What is it David?"

"Nothing Nolan, just a headache. Ahh." David rubbed his head. Is it me, or is this headache getting worse?

"Okay class, since this is the last day of school, I'll just let you leave early. Okay?" Said the teacher.

The student cheered, except for David, his headache was now really bad, and he suddenly started getting chills. The students began to leave when...

"AAHHH!!!!! THE PAIN!" David began to glow, everyone was confused. After a few minutes, he floated up and disappeared. The students naturally did what any sane person would do, panic!

"What the hell happened to David!"

"Did he die?"

"What just happened? Is it going to happen to me?"

Naturally, the bell then rang, but panic was still commonplace.

Go Kurtis! GO!

Stryker was trying to get away from the battleground, but a busted knee cap and a broken arm urged him to stop. He ignored these signs, his death was imminent.

Ugg, the pain is getting worse. No! Don't stop here Stryker, you have to live another day!

Stryker didn't stop moving, he couldn't. That is until...

"RAHGG!"

"Who's there?"

Shit! Shao Khan's got me!

Stryker was willing to accept that he was going to die, but that didn't mean he would embrace it. He took out a M9 pistol with his good arm, and was ready to at least annoy the emperor of Outworld before his death. But fate was fickle, he began to glow, the pain intensified, and he just... disappeared. Shao Khan came to the area, and saw nothing.

"Hmph, why should I waste my time here, I have entire realms to conquer now." Shao Khan opened a portal to Outworld to ready his armies, and conquer every world he could find.

Nikolai was glowing a bit, but he was drunk, so he didn't know anything.

"Ret's go to the tereporter!"

"Right Takeo!" Answered Nikolai. He normally didn't agree with the Jap, but the battle was horribly turning to the worst. The four jumped on and went to Area 51. When they arrived, they went to the Pack-a-Punch Machine to fight off the never-ending horde.

"Dempsey, why is Nikolai floating?" Sam asked.

"What are you..." Dempsey couldn't believe it, Nikolai was floating, passed out nonetheless. The passing out was understandable, but floating! To make things weirder, Nikolai disappeared.

"What the fuck!"

"What the... Nikorai, is gone. Huzzah!"

Samantha joined in the cheering while killing the zombies, Dempsey was just plain shocked.

Why now?

"Welcome to Hyrule Castle Link, Hero of Time." Queen Zelda said. Link presented the sword to give to the leader.

Zelda took it, and observed it. Link meanwhile felt a small pang of pain in his body. What was that?

"Are you alright?"

Link nodded, pain wasn't anything new to Link, he could take it.

"Good, this is a fine sword. Tell Rusl that this sword meets my expectations."

Link nodded, never one to speak much. Link suddenly grabbed his head and yelled. Ahh, the pain! Where is this pain coming from!?

"Link!"

Link began to glow white, and soon disappeared with a flash.

"LINK!"

Zelda could not believe it, but it just happened. Link, what just happened to you!?

Harry was at his desk job. It was boring, yes. But it had good pay. The hours were tedious, and Harry got a migraine from working so long and hard, nothing out of the ordinary.

That is, until the pain spread a bit.

"What is with this strange pain?"

"Harry, you alright?" Asked Harry's boss.

"I hope so, this headache getting worse and, ahh, worse."

"You should go home and rest."

"Yeah, I sho... AHH! should."

"That sounded painful, I think this might be serious, let me check you out." The man pulled out his wand to cast a spell, but he didn't have a chance.

"RAAHHHGGG!" Harry began to glow a bright white and soon disappeared with a flash.

"What the bloody hell! Harry!"

It was 15 minutes after the botched spell. The mane six had recovered from the pain, but they were now cautious. Twilight began to talk.

"Sorry everypony. I made a huge mistake."

"Don't sweat it Twi," Rainbow Dash said. "it could've been worse."

"I have to agree." Rarity interjected. "The pain was bad, but not fatal."

"Oh yes. And it went away very quickly." Fluttershy said.

Twilight looked at her friends, and smiled. "You know what, I'll perfect the spell soon enough, for now, let's just go home. It's getting dark."

The mares agreed and left for their respective homes. Twilight could not, however, shake the feeling that things were going to change around here soon.

The sun was soon gone.

And Twilight began to feel an immense pain. So much, that she could do nothing. She began to lose her vision, and disappeared. In her place, was a human with a scar on his forehead.

Rarity also felt pain, and soon was replaced with a normal human.

Pinkie began to hurt, and got switched with a spandex wearing man.

A man with a smell of alcohol was where Applejack passed out in Sweet Apple Acres.

Fluttershy disappeared. Angel looked to see a green clad blond.

Rainbow could not reach her home and ended up passing out on a tree branch. A flash of light, a man in SWAT armor replaced Rainbow.

This to be, was the first night of the prophecy of the human saviors, as predicted by the Ancient Ones.

Author's Notes:

Arc 1 (Arrival and Settling)

Meet and Greet

Wade Wilson woke up in the middle of a bedroom. He seemed confused, but this wasn't even the weirdest thing he's been through.

Wade, buddy! You alright?

"Yep! Just peachy keen! Where ams I?"

Huh...

What was... nevermind! And did you just speak like that Skwisgaar character in Metalocalypse?

"I sure did!"

What am I seeing, and hearing?

Deadpool looked around, until...

"OH JOY! I have a new mental playmate!" Deadpool said in a sing-song tone.

What? What's going on? Who are you?

"I'm Wade Wilson, but you can call me..." Wade paused for dramatic effect. "DEADPOOL!"

...

Umm, you okay?

The pink voice laughed, Wade was pleased.

"Great, where are we? You know what, window jumping time!" Wade dashed towards the nearest window and jumped through it. He didn't realise one thing yet.

"Oh fuck, third floor!"

Deadpool landed headfirst on the ground and was out. A normal person would have been dead, not Deadpool.

Stryker woke up in a terrible mood. The world as he knew it was over, his friends were dead, his knee and arm were... okay?

"What the..." Stryker touched his arm, then his knee-cap. No pain... he was fine. Was he dead?

"Ugg, I gotta..." Stryker rolled out of the place he was sleeping on, a tree branch in the air, and fell. He hit the ground hard.

"Dammit! Okay, not dead." But sure that Shao Khan never reached this place.

mmm...

Stryker pulled out his handgun. "Who's there?"

What the...

"Come out!"

What are you... is this a dream?

Stryker looked around for a few more minutes, before guessing he was going insane. He wouldn't be surprised, after all: he nearly died, saw many of his friends get killed before his eyes, especially Johnny Cage being decapitated, and he felt that he let down everyone. He put away his gun, and walked towards a random building.

I need a drink... and some admittance to a mental institute.

Stryker walked by a pond and saw his reflection. He saw that his suit was replaced with the armor he wore when he first knew there was an evil tyrant trying to take over his home.

Okay, kevlar... how'd I get into this?

I can hear your thoughts! Why are you here?

"Shut the hell up! I don't know anything!"

"Hey man, are you okay?"

Stryker turned to see a young man, with a look of concern on his face.

"Umm, yeah, I am."

"Good, I wake up in a house I don't know shit about and wander around. I like nights, yes, but this is not good."

"You too? Weird. My name's Kurtis, by the way."

"David."

David woke up in some home, in a bathroom. He had no idea how he got there, but he knew he wasn't going home without directions there.

"Ahh man, where am I?"

What the, what happened?

David looked around, but didn't see a woman. He just assumed that he was imagining things again. He did have autism.

"Where to go..." David looked out the window. "Out, I guess."

Out in that dirt and darkness?

"Whoever's in my head now, shut up!"

Wha... Is that any way to treat a lady?

"I say, shut up bitch."

Wha... He called me bitch! That jerk!

David usually was nice, but he just was abducted, felt immense pain, and doesn't even know what to do. He just hoped he would find something to play deadmau5 on. Then, howling.

"What the..." A cat latched onto David's face, claws in. He just screamed at the cat.

"Get off! Get off!"

Karma, quite the fickle one, isn't she?

David managed to get the cat off his face, and retorted, "Hey... fuck you!"

I am starting to hate you.

Same here bitch.

Stop calling me that.

I don't care. David walked out the front door, and finally noticed that it was night. He liked warm summer nights, so he walked around a bit.

Do you even know where you're going?

"Nope." David said. He then saw... another man! "Oh thank God! I thought I was alone here, with voices in my head!"

...

David ran to the man, and slowed down when he heard him say something.

"Shut the hell up! I don't know anything!"

David seemed worried for this man. "Hey man, are you okay?"

The man turned to David.

"Umm, yeah, I am."

"Good, I wake up in a house I don't know shit about and wander around. I like nights, yes, but this is not good."

"You too? Weird. My name's Kurtis, by the way."

"David."

"Good to meet you. I am..."

"A member of S.W.A.T., or Special Weapons and Tactics unit in law enforcement, the kevlar gave it away."

The man looked at his armor, before chuckling at this fact. "He he, I like you kid, you seem to be a good guy."

"I try to be."

I doubt it.

"Well, we can't be running about alone, we need to team up."

"Okay, but give me a gun."

Gun?

"Why?"

David gave look that said 'Are you serious?' to Kurtis.

"Right, you even know how to work it?" Stryker said as he gave the gun to David.

"I'm a gun nut." David said as he pulled back the slide of the gun slightly to check the ammo in the chamber.

"Oh..."

"The strange thing, I'm Democratic."

"Okay, that isn't really helpful."

"Forget it, this M9 will do just fine."

Kurtis nodded, he had an idea that this was going to get stranger.

Link woke up with a headache. He found himself in a cottage of some sorts. He was no stranger to nature, he has gone through a temple in a forest, ran through some woods to reach a time-traveling temple, swam down a lake, and somehow went through a mountain range to catch a piece of a helmet. He just needed some rest. Link sat down at the couch and took stock of his gear.

Master Sword and Hylian Shield, check.

Hero's bow with 100 arrows, check.

Ball and Chain, check.

Clawshots, double checked.

Three bomb bags, full of three different types of bombs, check.

Four bottles, one with Rare Chu jelly, one with Great Fairy Tears, the rest with fairies, check.

Gale Boomerang, check.

Lantern, good, but needs oil.

Spinner, check.

Hawkeye, check.

Fishing Rod, perfect, the coral earring's still there.

Iron boots, check.

Dominion Rod, here.

Slingshot? Why do I still have this?

Zora Armor and Magic armor is still here. I wonder if there are any rupees here?

And finally, the horse call. I think this'll be useless, but...

Link finished taking stock and soon was out the door.

What is going on?

Link paused for a moment, he thought he heard someone speak.

It just your mind playing tricks on you again Link.

And with that, he was out.

Big Macintosh was worried that Applejack might have gotten lost on way back home, it did happen time to time.

"Ah'm gonna look fer Applejack, Apple Bloom."

"Okay. Ah'm worried fer her."

"Ah am too." Big Mac went out the door to look for her. About 15 minutes later, he found an unusual creature. It had claws that were stubby, a flat face, and it reeked of liquor.

"Ohh, oh my..."

The creature stirred. "Mmm, What happened?"

Big Mac widened his eyes, and ran away. The stallion was not the bravest pony, his size did make it hard to be sociable to anypony besides mares.

"Ahh, where am I?" Nikolai was confused, just 5 minutes ago (At least, I think it was 5 minutes.), he was killing zombies on the moon, and now, he was in an apple grove at night.

"Air smells good, no blown up Earth. I think I am in alternate dimension, or that Bee Cave, Texas Dempsey mentioned once."

What the...

Nikolai looked around a bit. "Heh, for moment, I thought I heard someone talk... I need drink." Nikolai took a swig out of his vodka and decided to look for liquor store or bar. He walked in a random direction (incidentally, where Ponyville was), and was met with a voice.

Ah don't know who you are, but yer better let me go!

"Jeez, I think I am turning into Richtofen... or 8th wife."

What was that last part?

"Shut up, I need drink."

Yer gonna be trouble, Ah just know it.

"And I need you to be quiet, I think I have hangover."

Hangover, great. Ah'll have ta wait for him to sober up.

Nikolai entered town and saw another person, sleeping. Nikolai decided to be a dick and wake him up.

"Hello, you asleep?"

The man stirred, "MM, mommy, daddy, uncle Sue?"

"Waky waky, Соня."

"Можете Вы, пожалуйста говорите на английском языке, читатель не будет понимать." Deadpool said as he stood up.

"Alright, I'll speak English. What is your name?"

"Wade, but you can call me Deadpool."

"Deadpool, I am Nikolai Belinski, armed and drunk Russian."

Ah thought you had a hangover.

I lied.

Jackass.

Сука.

Was that an insult?

Yes, shut up!

"Okay, let us find liquor store, or bar, or distillery."

"Sounds good!"

And the two went on their own, unaware of where they were.

"Harry..."

"What! Voldemort!"

"Harry Potter, You! Will! DIE!!!"

A curse towards Harry hit him.

"AHH!" And woke Harry up. After panting in panic for a few minutes, he looked around to see that he was in library of some sorts.

Where am I?

What the...

"Is someone there?" Harry looked around. He reached into his pocket and felt his wand. Good, it's still there.

Who said that? Who captured me?

"Where are you? I can help!"

Aren't you the one holding me in your mind?

Harry thought about it, "I hope not, but considering what is happening, we have to understand a few things. What is your name?"

Twilight Sparkle.

"My name is Harry. I'll find a way to free you, I promise."

Thanks, you're very nice.

"Thanks, I can't believe what is happening though."

Me neither.

Harry walked out the front door, and soon noticed that it was nighttime.

It's dark out, I better look to see who's here.

Apparently, I can hear your thoughts, so be careful of what you think.

I will.

Harry walked to what he believed was south. He soon met a traveler in green walking into town.

Hmm, better say hi.

"Hello."

The man looked at Harry. Harry noted that this man had blue eyes, blond hair, and had pointed ears.

"I'm kinda lost here."

This man nodded. "My name is Link. I don't speak much, but I don't know you much. I am also lost." This is the most I've spoken in a long time.

"Oh, okay. My name is Harry. How about we look through town before we go find someplace to stay."

Link nodded. And the two teamed up to look for more people.

I hope this is finished with soon.

Stryker and David were walking around the town, when David spoke up.

"Stryker."

"Yes, David?"

"I think we should go to the center of town."

"Why?"

"I feel like we should just go there."

"You feel like?"

"Yeah, just trust me."

Stryker shook his head, he obviously had no other options.

Deadpool and Nikolai found no liquor, but they were trying to find a place to stay.

"Hey Nikolai!"

"What is it Wade?"

"The Author wants us to go to the center of town."

"Author? Nevermind, let us go. Maybe there is bar there."

The two turned left, towards town square.

This is becoming half-assed.

Or is it?

Yeah, it's half-assed a bit.

See, she knows what I mean!

I like you Yellow Caption Box! MMMMMWAH!

Me gusta.

Oh brother.

Link and Harry went towards the town square. Link noted that the words were very different from Hylian language, most definitely.

"Any idea where we're going Link?"

Link shook his head.

"Great." He really doesn't speak much, the only time I heard him speak was when he introduced himself to me.

Maybe he's shy.

Maybe.

The two made it to town square, and soon saw four men walk there as well. They all looked at each other and approached each other. The one with a full body suit was about to speak, but...

"MONSTERS!"

The six turned to the source of the noise, and were shocked. A pony was there, trembling. The thought were as followed.

WHAT THE FUCK! David thought.

Maybe this is my personal hell then! Stryker thought.

Talking ponies, that's not new. Deadpool thought.

Nope.

Nada.

Did that horse just talk? I need drink.

What? I must be in a new world. Link thought.

I can't believe this. Harry thought.

The six looked at each other, and high-tailed it to the Everfree Forest, unaware of the dangers within.

Hate, Activation and Bragging Rights

Princess Celestia was going through the royal prophecies. She had heard Discord mention once of a great evil coming, and an even force against it. But she had no idea what to do about it. And his vagueness didn't help. If only things were so easy, but this was real life, and real life has its difficulties. As she looked through, one scroll caught her attention. It predates even Discord's reign judging by the age. The fact that it was so well preserved meant that it was important, and possibly objectionable. She opened it and gasped.

"The Prophecy of Corrupted Harmony!"

She read the ancient tome and saw 6 things that were nothing that she wanted in her world.

"Humans, dammit."

"Sister?"

Celestia looked to her sister, Luna, and smiled.

"Yes?"

"What could make you curse at this point in our lives? Aren't we immortal and understanding?"

"Yes, but this tomb here could very well be the worst news I've ever read."

"Why? It is ancient!"

"Yes, but it is from 'The Alliance of Futures.'"

Luna gasped. They have predicted the future with perfect precision. If this is true...

"Tia, is this a foretelling of disaster?"

"No, but according to this, it is supposed to happen today."

A royal guard came bursting in the room. "Your highnesses! We have reports of six strange creatures in Ponyville."

"What! We'll go immediately!" Celestia said. "Luna, come along as well!"

"Yes sister!"

The two went off to the chariot, unaware that they were going to see things that would make a normal pony sick to their very core.

David, Stryker, Nikolai, Link, Harry and Deadpool were all panting after so much running. Deadpool recovered first, mainly due to higher endurance.

"What the hell was that all about?"

"I... don't know." Replied Stryker.

"Oh, this makes Nikolai confused, I need drink!" Nikolai then proceeded to chug the whole bottle of vodka down. David seemed to be disgusted by the Russian, but kept his mouth shut about the matter.

"I think we just discovered interdimensional travel, and ended up in a world full of talking ponies. Why must the God that possibly doesn't exist torment me like this?"

"I don't bloody know," Replied Harry. "I just know that this is a new world, and we need to go back."

Link just stood there, not talking. He'd rather try to find a way back home. But if he has to fight his way there, then so be it.

You know, you don't seem so bad anymore. That guy drinking excessively seems intolerable.

Aw, thanks for giving me a case of 'I don't care!'

I hate you.

"You know..." Deadpool said, "I think this is a start of a new adventure!"

"I agree with Deadpool! We need to find bar now."

David glared at Nikolai. Stupid drunk.

Harry decided to talk. "Whatever, we need to know each other before we go out and fight for our chance to go home."

"Yep, I'll introduce myself first!" Wade cleared his throat. "Gentlemen, My name is Wade Wilson. I go by many names: the Merc with the Mouth, The Guy Who Won't Die, THE KICKER OF MANY ASSES!" Deadpool continued to ramble on, Link seemed to be annoyed by the man.

Ugg, this man seems to be incredibly arrogant!

"And I'm available for Missions, Black Ops, Assassinations, and Birthday parties!" Deadpool finished off by pulling out a party blower and making it expand with his breath.

Yeah, blow that thang!

We are so getting prestige from these guys.

"I don't know what's more crazy, him, or the fact that we're stuck with him." Stryker said, getting a nod from Link.

Nevermind.

"Clap in 15 seconds."

"Why?" Nikolai, Harry, David, and Stryker said at the same time.

"Just wait..." Deadpool turned around and walked slowly. After about 5 seconds, he turned around and shot a manticore that was about to pounce onto David in the head with his MP7. The five humans were shocked, and the guys who asked 'Why?' clapped at this feat, but Link did not.

"Hey you! Clap."

Link closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened his eyes, he saw Deadpool giving him the stink eye.

Link seemed a bit creeped out by this, but he'd rather not anger him further.

Kurtis looked at Harry, and got a suspicious look. David noticed this.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like that guy over there is hiding something."

"What could he be hiding?"

"I don't know, but it ain't good."

David shrugged and looked at the drunk.

"You know, your liver going to be shot if you continue drinking."

"Fuck you! I do what I want!"

"What! Don't talk to me like that!"

"You know, you are bitching like fourth wife, I hated her!"

"I don't like you."

"Neither do I." Nikolai reached for his sickle to use. Link noticed and separated the two.

"I still don't like you, you drunk."

"Neither do I, Bourgeoi."

David noted the use of the word bourgeoi. Great, a communist. I hate soviets.

What's a soviet?

Forget it.

"Well, I guess since I just got in verbal fight, I'll go next. I am Nikolai Belinski, armed and drunk." Nikolai said as he pulled out his sickle and a bottle of vodka, not necessarily in that order. Harry noticed one thing.

"Is that blood?"

Nikolai looked at the blade and said, "Da, zombies everywhere makes this awesome weapon, no?" Nikolai turned to see the looks of the guys faces. Needless to say, David and Link were the most surprised. Stryker did know that Raiden revived Liu Kang as a zombie, Harry wouldn't discount the undead, and Deadpool had a zombie head as a companion once or twice. Link got out of his shock first however and said nothing. David however...

"How, what, you..."

"I think you just broke." Nikolai said with a smug grin.

David gave Nikolai a glare and proceeded to prepare his introduction.

"Well, I am David, and I am just a normal guy. You go next." David said pointing to Harry, who nodded in return.

"Well, that was vague. Anyway, I am Harry Potter, and I'm like David." I don't want reveal the fact that I'm a wizard.

Why not?

Too risky, and that officer is staring at me in a suspicious way.

Oh!

"Well," Stryker started off, "I am Kurtis Stryker, S.W.A.T. Officer."

Link looked at Stryker. What's a swat officer?

Nikolai asked, "What is swat?"

"It's an acronym, Special Weapons and Tactics."

"Okay."

"What about you?" Stryker said as he pointed at Link. Link stood up, and began to speak.

"I am Link. I am an adventurer and master swordsman. This will probably be the only time you hear me talk."

"Why?" David asked.

"I prefer my actions to do my speaking."

"Okay then."

Link sat back down, and the six began to build a fire. When they were done.

"Nikolai is hungry, what do we have to eat?"

The humans just seemed to looked confused, until they stared at the dead manticore Deadpool killed.

"Well that's a no brainer." Stryker said.

I can't believe that you would...

Eww, meat!

What, you vegan?

Are you?

Sorry Twilight, I need to survive.

Eeugh, that just wrong.

Screw you, bitch.

You need food, I understand.

That's something. "I wonder if it tastes like chicken?" David asked.

That poor manticore.

Link looked around, but no girl. He shook his head then unsheathed his sword.

"Thank you my little pony, let's go sister." Celestia said as she finished talking to a witness to the 'monsters.'

"Right Tia!" Luna said.

"I just hope these humans are not violent."

Luna seemed thoughtful, but she had a thought. "I wouldn't count on it."

The six humans had finally cooked the manticore, and dug in. David was off on the taste though, it tasted more like pork rinds. To eat them chewy was awkward for the group, but it was food.

"So, Link." David said. Link looked at him. "You have other skills?"

Link was about to contemplate on telling him a few things, but Deadpool then said something.

"Whoever's there, don't come here, or I will shoot you."

Whoever listened to the warning, just ignored it. It came to the campsite. It was an alicorn, two actually.

"Dammit, why did you follow us here?" David asked.

"Please, just listen to us..."

"No, forget it! I'm out!" David got up and proceeded to walk off in a random direction. Stryker called out to David.

"David, wait!"

"NO WAY, DUDE!"

"You should not go out into the Everfree Forest alone, human!" Celestia warned.

"I don't care! Fuck you!"

Celestia didn't flinch at that insult, instead...

"We have to go after him."

"I'm with ya, strange tall pony!" Stryker said.

"Do we have to?" Nikolai asked.

"The author has to make you Nikolai, so get yo butt up and march after him!" Deadpool said.

"Fine, but we better stop by liquor store on way to jerkoff bastard."

Celestia could see that the five were all different, yet similar. Will they be the ones who'll save us?

You had to walk away, in the middle of a monster-infested forest! You are insane!

"Hey! Fuck you! I do what I want!"

You're testing my limits, David!

David just opened and closed his mouth while doing the same with his hand. He really was going to have a bad time.

"Grrrr..."

"What was that?"

I don't know.

David looked around, and saw yellow eyes.

Better run. Wait, I got a gun! David took out the M9 Stryker gave him, and pointed it at the eyes. He then slowly backed away. The creatures revealed themselves as Timberwolves. David just stood slack-jawed.

"Fuck..."

The wolves pounced, and David rolled out of the way.

Damn my lack of exercise!

You're going to die! Run!

David did as he was told, no questions asked.

Why are you helping me?

Just because you are mean, doesn't mean you should die for it.

Sounds legit.

David looked back to see the wolves running for him. David was so focused on them at that point, that he didn't notice he entered a cave until...

A landslide covered the entrance and killed the wolves. David gave sigh of relief, but he knew better.

"Better find a way out."

It's dark.

"No shit."

Must you be so vulgar?

"Must you have a pole up your nonexistent ass?"

I... grrr.

David chuckled, and saw a light. David smirked.

"Already? Must be my lucky day."

David walked through, only to see a white-glowing object.

"Maybe not, but it looks bitchin'." David looked to one side, then the other and began to reach for it.

I don't think that's a good idea.

Doing it anyway.

"I know I heard something from over there." Harry said.

"For David's sake, I hope you're right." Stryker said.

"Well the sooner we find him, the sooner we can introduce ourselves." Luna said.

"Sounds good to Nikolai."

"Are you drunk?" Celestia asked.

"I am always drunk... I think."

The group came to the landslide area, one that the princesses know all-too-well.

"Oh no. This 'David' must have entered 'The Cave'. His fate is sealed." Celestia said in solemn tone.

"What do you mean?" Stryker asked.

"That cave has a treasure that took more lives than the long-dormant traps that used to protect it."

"WHAT!"

"So David is dead, right?" Nikolai said.

"Only if he touches the treasure. We have to dig him out, now!"

All except for Nikolai began to dig. Nikolai only joined in when he was promised vodka for his work. When they managed to dig it out, they saw lights and heard... revving?

David was almost touching it, Rarity begged him not to take it. Her pleas fell on deaf ears as David grabbed it, and immediately regretted it.

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

The pain consumed David as he dropped to the ground, the energy absorbing into David's body. He could die any moment from this power.

Why me?

You touched it.

David was weakening, his vision fading. He was close to death.

"NO!!!!" David slowly got up, and walked towards the pedestal. Sheer willpower and perseverance was making David go to the energy, and touch it again.

What are you doing!

Something stupid!

David held on, and soon his every oravice began to release light. It grew until it disappeared and David was on the ground, panting. The glowing object also disappeared.

"Damn, that was... intense."

You just lucked out.

"Maybe, but I'm alive. Heh heh." David looked at his arm, and perked an eyebrow.

Does my arm look different?

He then noticed his clothes felt... different. He looked down and lifted his shirt. He widened his eyes in shock.

Oh my God! I'm BUFF!

David was now in the pinnacle of physical fitness. He felt powerful. He punched the podium and was even more lucky.

"Ha ha! I am stronger than Chuck Norris!"

Who's Chuck Norris?

David ignored her, and looked at the wall. He then saw something he didn't see before.

"Holy FUCK! A car! I don't know how it got here, but thank you God! You're awesome!"

David went in. As he did, he thought about finding an Uzi and...

Holy crap, how'd that Uzi get in my hand?

Indeed, David was holding an Uzi. David then thought of holding an AUG, and got it in a flash of blue. He thought of getting a katana and got it in a flash of blue. When he didn't want it, it disappeared in a blue flash.

"Fucking A++, BITCHES!"

David finally sat down in the car. It had six seats, white leather, and a radio. There was no gas or temp. meter though.

"How do I know... You know what, if this runs, I don't give a fuck! I'm the luckiest man alive right now!"

David pushed the button to start the motor, and it ran.

"Hell yes." David looked at the radio. It was a touch-screen radio, just move through the selections and choose something. But David noted something important.

"Wow, this thing has every fucking song known to man."

Just use the damned thing.

David got silent, then said, "Fine, bitch." David choose a deadmau5 song, The Reward is Cheese. Rarity gave a contemplating noise.

You know, this song is... okay.

"At least you have a taste for progressive house." David stepped on the gas pedal. This car was an automatic transmission, so all David had to do was push the gas pedal. He soon saw he was going 50 MPH. He wanted to go faster, but...

"Hey, the entrance is open."

How?

"Maybe those guys over there.' David said, pointing to the humans at the entrance. "I'm gonna be a dick!"

Don't you...

David sped up to 125 MPH. At that point, the people at the entrance moved out of the way. David slid the car to a perpendicular position as he sped out the cave. With the driver's seat now facing the cave, David looked out the window. The people there looked panicked, so David opened the door and hopped out. Needless to say, they noticed that David was different, and that he had a car now.

"You miss me?"

The only words he heard were from Stryker, Nikolai and Deadpool. They just said three words, in unison.

"What the fuck."

Shut Up and Explain

David gave an amused look at the reactions of the three men. He looked to see Harry equally surprised and Link interested at the 'Super-Lamborghini' David had. He proceeded to turn on the radio to play Channel 42, By deadmau5 and Wolfgang Gartner on the car radio. Link became interested at the steady tempo, and became thoroughly enamored when he heard more sounds joining in a harmonic melody as he would put it. Nikolai however...

"This music is shit! Turn it off."

"No way man, I'm likin' this!"

"ME TOO!" Wade said, bopping his head to the bass tempo.

"Well," Princess Celestia started off, "Are you now willing to at least listen to me?"

"I'm willing to give a nice chat, but we need someplace more secure and secret." David said.

"Good. Here's a map of our land." The princess gave a map of the land.

"You are near the Bogg. I shall meet you at Canterlot Castle."

David looked at the map. He then looked up to the princess, who was just barely taller than David.

"Very well, we'll be there ASAP!"

"Excellent. I shall see you soon. Sister, time to leave." Luna nodded and the two took off to the air. David smirked and got in the car. As he did, Nikolai became jealous.

How come he gets muscles all of sudden?

Ah dunno, he just got 'em.

"You guys coming with?"

The others quirked eyebrows, but nonetheless went in. Stryker got shotgun, Harry sat behind David, Link behind Kurtis, Deadpool behind Harry and Nikolai behind Link. Link noted how comfortable the seat was and felt it.

Huh, it's a type of leather.

Leather! The poor animals!

Link took a frantic look around as the song was ending. Harry noticed and got worried.

"Are you alright?"

Link nodded, not wanting to worry the group. Everything that was happening was really making Link confused and helpless.

What is this machine? What did Deadpool use to kill that manticore? What is with their slightly archaic way of speaking? Why am I here in the first place?

Those questions will have to wait, David was ready to leave.

"Okay, seatbelts on guys."

Link looked around and saw Harry put a belt-like object to something, He saw it was near him too, and proceeded to put it to use. David began to look through the songs on the radio, and chose one.

He began to drive, the others in the car were shocked at how fast they were going all of a sudden.

"Do you even have your driver's licence?" Stryker asked.

"I need one here?"

Stryker just stared blankly at David.

"Let's just sing along to this song boys!"

Stryker, Deadpool and Harry agreed. All of three of them were deadmau5 fans, and Harry liked My Chemical Romance.

"Time for another verse!" David said, as the group prepared to sing again. Link just chucked, he didn't like the song much, but they were having fun, so he was enjoying this time. Nikolai was merely covering his ears, hating every second of the song.

The song began to end and they were near Canterlot castle.

How did we get here so quickly?

This car seems to go 200 MPH, easy.

Isn't that dangerous?

Who cares? It's awesome.

You're insane!

And I say, screw safety!

Rarity just sighed at David's idiotness. They soon stopped in front of the castle doors, where Princess Celestia was just walking through. The six got out of the car, Link doing so a bit sluggishly.

"You came here quickly." Celestia said, a bit surprised at the time it took.

"How long was it?"

"Merely 5 minutes."

David smirked, "and how far were we?"

"50 kilometers!"

"This thing can go 200 miles per hour, easy. I'm not surprised."

Celestia just widened her eyes. 200 miles! Not even our fastest pegasi can reach half that speed.

200 miles! Even I can't reach that speed without hurting something.

Just what are you?

"If I may, I know you have questions, so follow me."

The men agree with the princess and followed her. After about 10 minutes, she opened a secret tunnel among the wall of her throne room.

I didn't even know about this tunnel!

I wonder why?

The seven traveled down the tunnel. It got dark, but the princess glowed her horn to create light. If only Link had oil for his lantern. That's it!

Link tapped the princess' shoulder, and showed her his lantern. She looked at it and said, "We'll get you some lantern oil, don't worry."

"Oil?" Stryker said, "I got something even better." Stryker took out his flashlight, spun it a few times and turned it on, creating a light brighter than the princess' horn. Link at this point was not even remotely surprised at what he was seeing.

"Why are we underground? We don't have to be that secretive." Harry said.

"Trust me, I kept seeing a cave drawing with archaic symbols that I can't even read. I possibly thought that you might know a thing about them."

"Right! And Stalin was a good leader."

"Hah! Sarcasm was good Nikolai." David said. Link had no idea who Stalin was, but he assumed a horrible leader from what he was hearing.

"This is probably only thing we are going to agree on David."

"Yeah, you drunk-ass bastard."

"Arrogant dick."

"You humans done bickering?" Celestia said.

"Pretty much." David said.

"Good, here it is."

Nikolai and Link looked at the drawings and widened their eyes.

"This half is in the language of the motherland!" Nikolai said as he moved his fingers along the writing.

Link approached the other set of writing. "And this half is in Hylian."

The humans seemed confused at the fact that Link spoke, but considering that only he could read them, they were expecting him to speak more that he would usually do.

"Very well, Nikolai, if you would read that first then." Celestia said.

"Da!" Nikolai cleared his throat, took a swig of vodka and began to read.

"On the day this is read, there will be six humans appearing in this world. The Honest Drunk! The Kind Hero! The Loyal Law! The Generous Normalcy! The Laughing Psychopath! The Magical Wizard!"

"Wizard?" Stryker looked at Harry. Is that guy a sorcerer?

Why do you care?

Sorcerers and I never went well together.

"What about wizards?" Deadpool asked.

"I never really liked them."

"How would you know?"

"If I may read this writing, ненормальные!" Nikolai said, a bit annoyed at these people, especially David.

"These men will go out at night with the spirits of the Elements of Harmony."

"What!" Celestia said.

"What about it?" David asked, arms folded.

"I was hoping that this wasn't true... Have any of you noticed voices in your head?"

"A bitchy voice in my head that got there tonight? Yeah, I got that."

"Nikolai has hick voice in head, I thought I was turning into 8th wife." The 8th wife comment caused David to cast a glare at Nikolai.

Link nodded, I knew it! I was hearing things!

"I did notice a pink caption box in my head today."

All except for David gave confused looks, David assumed that Deadpool fitted the 'Laughing Psychopath' category.

"Well," Stryker began, "I have been hearing an arrogant voice."

"And I've heard a voice, named Twilight Sparkle."

David chuckled at that, he hated that vampire romance series, but he enjoyed a good joke about it every once in awhile. He did think that Vampires Suck was so bad, it was funny.

"What! This is bad." Celestia said.

"I'm assuming that these voices used to be normal..."

"Ponies, yes."

"Well," Harry said. "What are the Elements of Harmony?"

"Honesty, Kindness, Generosity, Laughter, Loyalty, Magic. These elements are the foundation of this world, and our most powerful artifacts. Without them, we are powerless."

"Well, that's interesting. You done Nikki?" David said.

"Don't call me that! And yes, that is all."

Link nodded and began to read.

"These men will begin to fight for the safety of Equestria. In the next year, they will fight a great evil force, and the six must fight to save not only this world, but the worlds they hail from. The Honest Drunk, Nikolai Belinski! Kind Hero, Link! The Loyal Law, Kurtis Stryker! The Generous Normality, David Vulakh! The laughing Psychopath, Wade Wilson! The Magical Wizard..." Link hesitated at what name was there. Harry already knew what was going to happen.

"Alright then! I am a wizard! I didn't want to tell you guys because I felt that we would end up fighting."

"You're damn right, Sorcerer!" Stryker said, pulling his gun out at the wizard.

"Woah! What are you..."

"Stryker! Don't!"

"But David..."

"Don't, or I'll break your arm." David said, cracking his knuckles, then his neck.

Stryker shook his head and put away his M9, while David gave the other one from earlier back.

"If I may, We already know what may happen, we must now finish reading that writing. Link."

Link nodded and began to read again.

"When the night is over and the sun has risen, the humans switch roles with the mares in the minds of the humans, and they become watchers themselves."

The others were expecting more, but Wade then spoke. "That's it?"

"Apparently so."

"Then we shall go back to Ponyville to discuss important issues."

The humans agreed and soon left the tunnel. The night was almost over and the six humans need to get home soon. They knew that they had friends and families to be with at that point in their lives.

And it was not going to be done soon.

I Said

The group of six humans went into the car and the princess went up to them.

"We'll discuss more about you tomorrow night, when the ponies are asleep."

"Fine, but you better know that we're omnivores." David said.

"That's okay, the Gryphons that border our land are omnivores as well."

"Gryphons, just great." Lion-Eagle hybrids that might want to punch my balls. Just great...

Gryphons won't hurt you, some will just annoy you.

That supposed to make me feel better? David proceeded to look through his music selection.

Yes, you ungrateful, arrogant jerk!

Blah blah blah is all I hear.

GGRRRRrrrr...

David choose a song, finally.

"See you later pony princess, don't be a stranger."

"I'm a leader, why would I be a stranger?"

"Exactly, bye!" David drove off, and Link shortly gave an annoyed look. David noticed.

"Can't I be casual with royalty for once? She seems nice."

Link just shook his head. Such disrespect for standards, small wonder I am forced to be with him.

Well, he seems to be in a high of good feelings. Give him some time for it to burn out.

Sounds like a plan, madame...

Fluttershy.

Madame Fluttershy. Nice to finally meet you formally.

Thanks. You seem nice.

Of course, I always try to be on my best behavior.

Such a gentlecolt.

Link didn't know what a gentlecolt was, but it seemed to be a compliment, so he smiled and looked out the window. He was amazed at how fast he was going in this 'car.' Even Epona could not reach a quarter of this speed without injury. He also was amazed at the music David was playing. He had never heard anything like it. He didn't like it, per say, but he was thoroughly interested in it.

Deadpool was ecstatic, he had a chance to be a hero for once and not be criticized for anything.

Only until they find out how insane you really are.

Quiet! You too Pink box.

Why?

You'll blab...

No I won't! Cross my heart and hope to fly! Stick a cupcake in my eye!

Seems legit! Give me a smooch!

No way!

But, you smooched me earlier. :-(

Yeah, but I find White Caption Box to be more my type. MMWAH!

Oh... oh my.

You sonuva...

"Oh look! We're here." David said.

"About damn time." Stryker said.

"Listen, We'll discuss our skills tomorrow night. Capeesh?"

The other humans agreed, Link doing so because he assumed David meant 'understand.'

"Wunderbar!" David stopped just outside the town limits. "Let's get out."

The six went out, Link doing so sluggishly again. Deadpool chuckled at Link's pathetic display.

"Heh, not used to riding a car yet, ehh Linkarino?"

Linkarino? Was that an insult?

"Let's go to where we first woke up when we got here, those places might be where these 'mares' in our heads live." Harry suggested.

"My voice lives near a tree?" Stryker said.

No! I live in the clouds.

How the hell does that work?

Pegasi can control the weather.

Pegasi... nevermind, I need a drink.

"Nikolai will go to apple orchard! It is where I appeared. But I will first find liquor store."

"Do you ever do anything besides drinking?" David asked.

"Da! I think about drinking. I talk about drinking. I fight zombies. I am carpenter."

"Carpenter! You can build?"

"Da! You need to in motherland."

David just shook his head, but he understood. "Let's just go to the homes, Good night guys."

The rest said goodnight and went to the places they appeared in tonight.

Celestia was thinking about the humans, and how they acted.

Stryker seems to be a protector of law and order, and seems to be loyal. He had to be forced with Rainbow Dash for sure. Link seemed kind and courteous, Much like Fluttershy. Deadpool is apparently a man who loves to laugh, like Pinkie Pie. Harry, being a wizard, is naturally a master of magic, like my faithful student. Nikolai is constantly drunk, but very honest in his opinions, even if they are hurtful. He had to be with Applejack. David so far took five humans he barely knew to Canterlot by himself in a machine that even I never knew could exist, shown a great amount of logic, and seemed to be one of the youngest of the group. He has shown to be generous and willing to help others. He must be with Rarity. Those two...

Celestia looked out the window, and got a thoughtful look.

I wonder how long it will take before the two get to know each other a 'little better.'

Celestia chuckled as she prepared to go to bed. She would see those humans tomorrow, and see if they are truly hero material.

Nikolai passed out in the front porch of the Apple family house, drunker than a man who binged drunk about 6 oz. of alcohol in ten seconds flat.

Link went into Fluttershy's cabin and laid down on the couch, avoiding the white rabbit as he did so.

David, after barely avoided getting his face attacked by Rarity's cat again, hopped into her bed and went to sleep.

Stryker just laid down besides the tree he arrived on and tipped his hat down. He soon fell asleep.

Harry went into the library and found a few books on Equestria. He decided that sleep could wait, he needed to know as much about this world as possible.

Deadpool climbed Sugarcube Corner and went through the window he broke. He looked around and hopped on the bed. He began to fall asleep, talking about tacos and chimichangas.

Who's up for a threesome?

Nah.

No way.

Aww.

The Dilemma and Finding an Answer

The sun had risen, and the humans glowed a bright white. When the glow dissipated, the ponies that were forced to be the humans were now in their place and in control. None of them were conscious, but they were waking up soon.

Twilight woke up drooling on a book. When she realized that she did that, she frantically tried to dry it off before any damage was done.

"Oh good, it's still good. I must have been on one of my all-night study nights again."

If only that were true Twilight.

Twilight froze, then gave an annoyed look and groaned. "I thought that was just a bad dream!"

It wasn't. There was David, Nikolai, Link, Deadpool, and Kurtis.

Alright, at least you and I are on good terms.

Yep, but don't get any ideas. I'm married.

Twilight gave a confused look, but shrugged it off. Don't worry, you're not my type anyway.

Alright. What to do today?

"TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT!"

Twilight turned to see three fillies, three familiar fillies.

"What is it girls?"

"Scootaloo found a strange box object just outside of town! Check it out!" Apple Bloom said.

"Alright Apple Bloom, I'll check it out. Can't be that dangerous, right?"

High speeds and very heavy... you can guess the rest, right?

Don't even Harry.

Rainbow Dash woke up laying against a tree. She didn't know why she was there instead of her cloud home, but...

Hey! You awake yet?

Rainbow widened her eyes, and mentally groaned. She then took off for home. Yes, I'm awake Stryker. You really need to find a way to stay in my home.

Why?

I live in the clouds.

Okay then.

Rainbow ended up at her home and went straight to her bathroom to take a shower.

Don't you even get off at this.

Why would I get off at a pony showering when I prefer human women?

Exactly!

In all seriousness, we need to know as much about this world as possible.

I'm sure the princess will tell you tonight. Right now, I got a job to do.

And what is that?

Managing the weather.

Stryker sighed. You know, at this point, even the weather being manual isn't a surprise.

You don't have ponies controlling the weather where you're from? Rainbow asked as she got out of the shower.

No, I've seen people control the weather as a way of attacking, but it mostly works on its own.

Sweet Celestia, I can't even think of a world like that.

Imagine a world where an evil tyrant kills your best friends, and takes your world as his prize, that's my home there.

Rainbow gasped. That was the most depressing thing she had just heard from the humans. She now felt sympathetic for the S.W.A.T. officer, she could not be in the place of him at this point, but she could only imagine.

I'm... I'm so sorry.

Don't be, what's done is done. Right now, I got a new responsibility, and I'm not abandoning it until the very end.

Rainbow smiled as she left her home.

You know, you are a very loyal pon... person. I starting to like you.

Same here. Hey look!

Rainbow saw the car David drove last night and swooped down to look at it. She saw Twilight and the Cutie Mark Crusaders there.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

"This thing, Rainbow." Twilight answered.

"Looks like a statue-sculpture... thingy."

"Thingy..."

Even I know that was a lame way of saying what a car is.

Shut up!

"Well, what could it be?" Rainbow lied, already knowing what it is.

"I don't know, but I'll have the princess pick it up tonight."

Hey, doesn't she know that someone owns this? More specifically my new friend, David.

How is he doing now anyway?

Rarity had already woken up and primed herself up, but this morning was already horrible for her.

Bitch!

Ruffian!

Gem-whore!

Imbecile!

Words cannot describe how much I hate you.

I agree! Words cannot describe how much I hate you.

Why us?

Fate can be fickle. It just happened to hate us and put us together.

Fuck me!

We'll have to deal with it, I supposed.

Fine, I'll be quiet, begrudgingly.

Rarity looked at the calendar and knew one thing.

Guess what David.

What?

Spa day!

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

...UUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

Are you done?

Yeah, pretty much.

Good, we're here.

This is the worst possible thing to ever happen to me in my life.

Now you know how I felt when I was forced to follow you last night.

I hate you.

I hate you as well.

Rarity went in and saw a familiar face.

"Fluttershy, ready for our spa trip?"

"Oh, of course."

So this is what a spa is like, I've only heard of them before.

Then you'll like it Link, but it is a bit pricy.

Then why do you go?

Rarity pays for it all, and she has had a lot of bits to spend after her dresses became popular.

Bits?

The currency we use.

Oh no, I guess my rupees are useless here then.

I guess so.

"The usual, please." Rarity said. Aloe nodded and took the two mares to the usual spa treatments. The reactions of the humans were different.

Boring...

Interesting.

Applejack woke up on the ground in front of her home. She didn't know how, but then a familiar voice came in.

Man, I am still drunk in mind of sober pony. I wonder if I stay drunk.

Applejack sighed and snuck in. She slowly went to the her shower and prepared for a long day's work.

So, what is your name, cause we need to know who we're insulting, ehh?

Ah'm Applejack, and yer Nikolai.

You know what, fuck you! I don't like you.

Same here, drunk.

You know, this reminds me of day sixth wife died, she should not have snuck up on me in shower.

Ah'm choosing to ignore that.

Fine, be that way... Bitch!

Applejack finish, dried herself off and went out to the hallway, where she saw her brother.

"Oh, hey Big Mac. Sorry 'bout comin' home late."

"It's alright, s'long as you're okay, Ah'm fine."

"Really, thanks big bro."

"EEYUP!"

Man of little words, like brother-in-law. I hate that bastard, should kill him when I'm out of this world of tiny horses.

Ponies.

I don't give a shit.

Applejack sighed internally and went over to the breakfast table to see one thing off.

"Where's Apple Bloom?"

"It's summer if Ah recall."

"Oh right. Well, what's fer breakfast?"

Big Macintosh turned around and took a dish out, a platter of apple goods.

Pie? Isn't that bad for breakfast?

So's drinkin'.

I will never give up vodka!

Why even bother?

After Applejack had her breakfast, she went out to get ready to farm a bit more. The apples in the southern acres should be ripe now.

Applejack went over to the acres with a few baskets and was ready to go along the day.

Yer better behave while I work.

If it is manual labor, than I have no qualms.

Really?

We praise men and women who work with bodies, makes them more equal for everyone.

Yer about everyone bein' on equal terms?

Yep, I'll be honest. I hated that Celestia first moment I heard she was royalty. Her sister too.

What! Are you nuts!?!?

Nope, just drunk. Hey my buzz is still here!

Great, just great. Applejack proceeded to one of the trees, and bucked it. A bit too hard.

"Ah consarn it!"

Ha ha! Hilarious.

Shut up Nikolai!

Pinkie Pie woke up and found out something immediately.

Got any threes?

Dammit!

Oh, splendid game!

I love being a caption box! All I gotta do is watch.

Hey Wade, Why are you combining Bold and Underlining?

'Cause yellow on white is unreadable, and people on FiMfiction.net are too lazy to change it from light to dark.

Makes sense. Well, better get ready for today!

May I ask why, considering that you are now essentially a female, powerless, less violent, hyperactive, pink pony version of the merc we've all come to know and love, what are we going to be doing today?

"Baking cupcakes, cakes, muffins, chimicherrychangas, donuts..."

You had me at 'chimicherrychangas.'

"Let's go then!" Pinkie dashed in and out the shower, somehow getting her mane wet in the short time she was there, shook out the water, dashed downstairs and went to the cash register.

7 seconds.

A new record!

Nice! I like you Pinks.

I like you too Wade, and Yellow caption Box, and White Caption Box.

You broke my heart. : - (

Well I'll have you know I'm breaking up with White Caption Box.

Why?

You're too boring. You need to be more exciting.

I'm a voice in a psychopath's head, how can I be exciting?

Be George Lopez?

Why even bother?

"Pinkie..."

"Yes Mrs. Cake?"

"Why is the window in your room broken?"

"It was broken? I didn't even notice."

Either that, or you're lying, or you forgot, or never really payed attention to us. Which one was it?

I never payed attention.

LMFAO! LOL! OMG! BBQ!

"Tell you what Mrs. Cake, how about I take care of the twins today."

"Sounds good Pinkie. They're upstairs right now."

"Yay! I'll be there."

I wonder what they look like?

I bet they're cute.

They are! Pinkie thought as she ascended the stairs to the Twins' room.

Nice.

I wonder if they're... they're... Deadpool never finish when he saw what was in the Twins' room.

OH FUCK BABIES!

After a few mishaps from Applejack's excess force done on the trees, she went over to Twilight's to discuss a few things about the humans. When she got there, she noticed the other mares there. Twilight noticed Applejack and spoke up.

"Ah good! We're all here!"

Maybe we'll have some idea of what to do tonight.

Maybe.

"Well Twilight, tell me! How are we going to deal with these humans. Mine is absolutely insufferable."

Fuck you, bitch!

"Well Rarity, we've got to know who's with whom. As we all know, I'm with Harry."

"Well," Pinkie said, "I'm with Deadpool, and he hates babies! What the heck!"

What! Babies are creepy.

"Wade says that babies creep him out."

Rainbow gave a confused look. "Okay, well Stryker's with me, and he seems to be very loyal about a lot of things."

"Really?" Rarity said. "Well, David is with me and he's is quite infuriating."

Bitch.

Rarity gave an annoyed look. "You see how he is! I'm this close to losing it Twilight! You have to find a way to help us!"

Twilight gave an unsure look. "I don't know anything we could do right now. For now, just try to avoid insulting each other."

Fine, I'll shut up.

"Okay, I guess that'll work, for now."

"Well, Ah'm next. Nikolai is with me, and he's a bit annoying."

Being a drunk-ass bastard that he is, I wouldn't be surprised.

"But he's honest, and Ah respect him fer that."

Even if I bitch about your pathetic monarch.

Don't you insult the princess like that! She's a good mare! She helps keep this land in peace and harmony.

"Well, umm..."

I wonder what butter pony is going to say.

It's Fluttershy.

Whatever, I need drink.

"My partner is Link, and he's a true gentlecolt."

"Really! I would've guessed so, considering how kind and courteous he was to the princess at the castle. He must have come from a very wonderful land." Rarity said.

"I guess, but I'm somewhat afraid at the fact he carries that sword around."

"I guessing where he came from wasn't that safe."

"Seems to be."

"Well, tonight we're going to see what is going to happen, so I've decided to invite you all to a sleepover." Twilight gave a wink at the word 'sleepover.'

Very clever. No one will be suspicious if...

"Hey Twilight!"

"Yes Spike!"

"The princess send back a letter." Spike came in with a scroll in his claws.

Is that a dragon?

A baby dragon, yes.

I remember fighting an evil dragon that terrorized a civilization in the sky.

Really, all by yourself?

Indeed. I was scared, but I knew that I needed to defeat it to save the City in the Sky, and help save my land.

Oh my! You really are brave! I wish I could be brave.

Fluttershy, being brave isn't being without fear, it is overcoming that fear to face the threat and confront it!

Hmm, I'll keep it in mind, thank you Link.

You're welcome.

"Hmm, thank you Spike. It's almost time to go to bed though."

"Already?" Spike said in an annoyed tone.

"Yes, already."

"Fine, good night Twilight."

"Good night Spike." Spike went into the other room, while the mares began to speak again.

"Okay, you all understand?"

The mares nodded.

"Good, tonight, answers wiil be given."

I'm thinking about a change in music tonight.

I hope it's something I can agree to.

No promises.

"And Rarity."

"Yes Twilight?"

"David needs to park his car more inconspicuously."

Better not have taken it away, we need a quick way to Canterlot.

"Did they..."

"Not yet, the princess claims that she'll take it away tonight at 8."

Thank goodness.

"Good. So, sleepover?"

The mares looked at eachother, then smiled deviously.

"SLEEPOVER!"

Answer to Questions

"Pillows?"

"Check!"

"Graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate?"

"Yep!"

"Ideas for scary stories?"

"I got one!"

"Check! This sleepover should be ready now!"

Only we're not even...

I know, sundown will happen before that happens.

Very well.

I'm glad you decided to read last night.

I needed to know a few things about this place first. I'm surprised I'm not even tired.

You are resting in my mind.

Touche.

"Well, I'm ready!" Rarity said. "I did like the last sleepover we had Twilight."

Ugg, girly!

I'm a mare.

Did I say that I care?

You're impossible.

"Hey Twi."

"Yes Rainbow?"

"Ready for tonight?"

"Of course." And maybe we'll get some answers.

"Great! Oh look, the Sun is setting!"

The six mares went over to see the sunset and were hoping that the curse would not reveal itself.

It did. The mares toppled over in pain and soon were replaced with the six humans in a white flash. Deadpool was the first to recover.

"Man! I can never get used to that!"

Yes you can.

No I can't.

Hey, how's Nikolai?

I'll check.

"Hey Nikolai? You alright?"

"Da, drunkenness helps with pain."

"Typical." David said, helping Harry and Stryker to their feet.

"You know, if it weren't for fact that you drive, I would kill you like with first wife... She was bitch."

"Let's just go to the car and see the princess. The sooner the better."

Link, who had recovered already, nodded in response. Maybe he'll finally find out why he was brought here.

David hit Nikolai with all the pillows, once. The enhanced strength of David really made the hits the equivalent of a heavy-weight boxer's punch.

"OW! What the hell was that for?"

"So things won't get suspicious for the mares."

"Fine, but you owe me drink."

"Excellent! Move on out!"

The six moved to the vehicle that was on the outskirts of town. After getting in and buckling up, David went over his choices.

I'm not in the mood for deadmau5 anymore. How about... AH HA! KMFDM!

KMFDM?

David choose a soft opening for the song set, Rip the System by KMFDM, and drove off.

Link seemed interested in the new music. It was different, as it seemed slightly more aggressive.

As the gunfire sound effect began to play, David looked at the other's reactions. Link was interested, but seemed to have a distaste in the industrial metal. Nikolai was thoroughly enjoying it with Deadpool. Harry seemed indifferent. Stryker seemed skeptical.

Synth began to enter the song and the group was now increased in their original reactions. David seemed disappointed at this.

Once again, nothing.

Dammit, I thought that might be more enjoyable.

Maybe you should have eased into it.

Verdammt!

I like it!

Strange.

Not my first choice, but good.

Oh, my...

This is... okay.

The outro began, and the group was almost to Canterlot. David thought it was time to be more aggressive, so he put on Free your Hate, by KMFDM.

"Ladies and Gentleman, Hau Ruck!"

A build up of the music began. When it ended, the group was surprised, at least Link was, at what this music was like. He covered his ears to try to block it out.

It was truly aggressive. David was enjoying it, as was Nikolai and Deadpool. Link was hating it.

This is horrible!

I know!

An epic guitar solo played, making it very metal and brutal as a Heavy Metal fan would say. A radio-like message soon played afterwards. The guys couldn't discern what it said, but it was negative sounding.

The same radio message played, the crowd was cheering, as if it meant much more than hatred.

That was not... Oh my... I hated it so...

Too aggressive? Too bad!

Why you.

"Hey look! We're here!"

Indeed, they were right next to Canterlot... Castle...

"Oh crap."

David accidently crashed through the front doors of the castle and skidded to a stop in front of Princess Celestia. The men in the car were needless to say, shocked.

"Ahh, dammit! Everyone okay?"

"Yeah! Watch where you fucking drive, dumbass!" Nikolai said in anger.

"I deserved that insult. My first accident in, like ever."

"You never drove before last night?" Stryker said incredulously.

"Yeah, I guess. I hope the car ain't damaged too badly."

David turned to see the princess with an annoyed look on her face. David rolled down the window to talk to her.

"Heh, sorry about the door."

"Nevermind that for now, I think I figured out how you got here, and why."

"Great! Lead the way." David said as he and the others got out of the car. Needless to say, they all went out a bit sluggish this time. David looked at the car and quirked an eyebrow.

"Huh, guess this is indestructible."

"Like me?" Deadpool said.

"I don't kn... wait! You, indestructible?"

"We're discussing our special skills here, right?"

"Right, but how does..."

"All will be explained, let's just go to that place, where we are doing... that... thingy."

Not really creative. If I must say so.

I agree.

Yep.

I still think the three of us should be friends.

With benefits?!

Nah.

Aww.

"Quit it you three."

"I didn't say anything." Stryker said.

"Oh, did I say that aloud?"

"Yep, pretty much."

"Oh, my bad. Let's go and maybe get some tacos too."

With no other reason to complain, the group of seven went over to the library to discuss the circumstances of the humans' arrival. Celestia began.

"Now, I'm sure you are all aware that you have somepony stuck in your minds."

"Some... pony?" Harry said.

"The mares in your heads."

The humans gave understanding nods and noises. David spoke next.

"Well, why are we here? Why take a cop, a drunk, a swordsman, a wizard, a mercenary, and myself to this colorful world?"

"Excellent question and I found out that when you arrived, it was due to a spell."

A spell.. Oh no! It couldn't have been...

What are you talking about?

But, I'm sure it was my magic that brought you and these other humans here in the first place.

Let's not jump to conclusions.

"The spell from a pony most familiar with me." Celestia started.

It so my fault, I'm sooo sorry for...

"It was a spell from my father, cast 1000 years ago."

The humans gave surprised looks. Twilight was more confused.

Wha...

"How the hell does that work? Stryker asked, clearly not really understanding how and why a single pony would summon six unknown men to an unfamiliar world, from the distant past.

"I do not know why, but I last saw my father cast one last spell before passing away long ago. I was never sure how it worked, but it clearly was used to summon you, the residual magic is still on you six."

David stepped forward. "Bullshit! How can he even know who we are? And how can you know your father died 1000 years ago? How does..."

"Some questions were never meant to be answered David, but even if I knew how he knew, I still wouldn't know why."

A brief pause made things tense between the two.

"Right." David said after a few moments. "So what could make us special?"

"You six, are special. Because you six have something that would truly change Equestria forever."

"What is it, princess?" Harry asked.

"You six are the corrupted forms of the Elements of Harmony!"

The humans gave surprised looks. The mares in their heads were even more confused. David stepped forward.

"How are we corrupted? Stryker is a officer of the law, and Harry and Link are clearly people who know right from wrong."

"Corruption doesn't always mean evil, young one. It just mean that the ways of using the elements are more... dark for a lack of a better term."

David gave a skeptical look, before stepping back. Deadpool then gave an assumption.

"Maybe I'm the guy who laughs at the misery of others. And Stryker will kill for saving a life. And Nikolai, being drunk, is always honest. And Harry can used darker magic! David's a dick."

"Hey! That was uncalled for!"

"And Link thinks he such a badass! Ooo, I has a sword that looks cool, but is probably useless!"

Link gave a very annoyed look, but didn't retaliate. Ugg, that is outright insulting.

"Well, that pretty much the gist of it. As for David's new look, I found out how."

"Tell me, that glowing stone hurt to touch, that's for sure."

"That stone, known as the 'Stone of Armament' was to be given to the human who was capable of thinking up multiple weapons that nopony has ever seen before."

"Me, well that is amazing. Especially since I can do this." David soon summoned a minigun, causing Nikolai to do a rare spit-take with his vodka. He now was really jealous.

He can summon any fucking weapon! That lucky, fucking asshole!

Wow! Just, wow.

"I know, it's awesome!"

The humans were speechless. David made the gun disappear, and lean against a bookcase with smug look on his face.

"Well, yes. There are five others scattered through Equestria. I believe that these will also unlock special abilities that would help you in this prophecy."

"Well, where are they?"

"Here is a map."

"One's in the Frozen North, the 'Never-ending Attack' relic for the Corrupted Element of Honesty."

"Me?" Nikolai said. "I guess I can go to frozen place, I am Russian bear!"

"Meaning you're fat." David said.

"Whatever, it'll help."

"Stryker, the 'Amulet of Combat' is in the Badlands."

"Alright, better be ready for anything."

"Link, Neighagra Falls is where the 'Trifocal Power' is."

Trifocal? That can't mean... Link looked at his hand, and saw a faint glowing of the Triforce of Courage. He shook his head, hoping that it is not a cruel twist of faith.

"Deadpool, your's is in the Hayseed Swamps. The 'Statue of Confusion' was its name if I recall."

These names are getting lame.

No doubt.

"Harry, your's is under Canterlot actually, so you can go now. As a matter of fact, you all can go now."

"What about me? What can I do?" David asked.

"Well, I got a diplomatic peace signing tonight with a rival country. If that is successful we won't have to worry about these creatures again. You can be my bodyguard."

"Bodyguard? I can do that."

Are you even competent enough?

Of course, just don't distract me.

Very well.

"And you guys, you going to be okay without each other?"

The others nodded. They all had instances of fighting alone, with no help.

"Good, we'll all go tonight."

"Hell yeah!" Deadpool said.

"Alright!" Nikolai said.

"Yeah!" Stryker said.

"Very well!" Harry said.

Link just gave a strong nod as a response.

"Good I'll have the guards take you to these locations immediately. David, if you would come with me."

"Okay your royal highness. Show me what you do in diplomatic situations."

Celestia smiled at David. He didn't seem to care whether she was royalty or not. He just cared for the character of said pony.

The seven split up, unknowing of what would happen later on.

(A/N I am requesting a person to draw a good cover image for this story. Anyone who can give it, send me a message and I'll get back at you.)

Smells, Frosts, and Dragons

The princess just informed the group that they would all leave in one hour, exactly. With no other options, the group came together under Harry's request.

"Okay guys, we need to know each other's skills. If we need to work as a team from now on, we need to know what we excel at, and where we lack."

Stryker wasn't too trusting of the wizard, but from he can tell, this rivalry was the most mild, with David and Nikolai actively fighting and Deadpool was constantly annoying Link. He began to speak.

"Right, I'll go first. I am proficient in the use of firearms due to my services as a S.W.A.T. officer. I am also a skilled hand-to-hand combatant."

"Typical S.W.A.T." David pointed out.

"I am not proud to admit this, but I've also killed many people before."

"That's understanda..."

"I'll just say this, in my world, an evil tyrant invaded my world, and I pretty much blew up men that grew blades out their forearms."

The others looked at Stryker incredulously, except Deadpool.

"Big deal! Marvel made me, in an alternate universe, the same, except with eye-lasers, and no mouth. It was the worst remake of me, in like ever."

Most looked at Deadpool like he was crazy, except for David.

"Well, you're insane, I'm insane, we're all insane. But I am proud to admit it. And I can summon any weapon I can think of, have muscles and have an excellent intuition. I am a badass!"

You're an arrogant punk.

Shut it!

"Well," Harry said. "I'm a powerful wizard, I know many spells and am excellent in potion making." Link perked up at the mention of potions.

I hope he can make blue potions. Those are my favorite.

Why?

They can heal me to full strength. I've used it until I could finally get Great Fairy Tears.

Fairy tears?

They can do the same as blue potions, but also give me a burst of power as well.

Oh! That's, umm, nice.

Link smiled, before bringing out his bag of gear. Deadpool looked at it.

"What's in it? Toys!" Deadpool laughed a bit before Link emptied the bag. Needless to say, they were surprised at how much gear he had.

"Holy, what is with the ball and chain?" Stryker asked.

"What is this funkay top?" Deadpool said as he looked at the Spinner.

"Even Nikolai could tell that... holy shit, that is lot of bombs." Nikolai saw how many bombs were in the bomb bag he was looking in.

Why so many bombs?

I don't know, but this enough to blow whale of first wife to smithereens.

I don't believe this, but yer not lying about yer wives, aren't ya.

Oh yeah, fourth wife stole all my money, and I chased her down, took my money back, raped her, and beat her to death.

Mah... Ah'm gonna have nightmares fer weeks now.

"What are these gauntlets?" David said as he handled the clawshots, and accidentally fired it into Deadpool's face.

"OW MY FACE!"

"Oh my God! I'm sorry Wade! Okay, how do I..." David released the claw, and saw that the clawshot had pulled out Deadpool's right eye out and heavily tore up his face.

"Oh God! Wade, don't worry..."

"I'm not! I've got something called healing factor."

"Healing factor?"

"Yeah, look at my face."

The humans did so and saw that Deadpool's face was healing faster than an average man's would, his eye even grew back. Nikolai seemed to be thoughtful.

"Hmm, Richtofen would like you to be his bitch for sure. As for Nikolai, Red Army make me good with guns too. I also have special weapons."

"Special weapons?" Harry said.

"Da! Here!" Nikolai took out his Zap Guns. David seemed skeptical.

"Those look like toys." Stryker said.

"Believe me, I thought so too. But these are microwave thingys."

Link had no idea what a microwave was, or how it worked. But he assumed that it was lethal in the hands of this drunk.

"Well," David said, "Deadpool never explained his skills, just showed he can heal fast."

"Oh, I'm a skilled mercenary! I can use guns, swords, hand-to-hand, confusion-fu!"

"So you're saying, you just wing it in every fight."

"Yep, I'm a magnificent bastard."

David chuckled at this man. He looked to see the princesses come in.

"We're ready to go! Luna will watch over this place while David and I are at the peace treaty signing."

"Right! Harry, if you would please follow me, your challenge awaits."

"Very well your highness."

"Let's go!"

The eight split up, Deadpool would go to the swamps, Stryker to the badlands, Nikolai to the mountains, Link to the waterfall, David and Celestia to wherever they need to go. This was going to change the way thing are to be seen and done for sure.

A chariot flew down to the most stable piece of land that was on the swamplands and Deadpool got off.

"Thanks for the ride, buddy!"

"Just remember why you're here. Use that stone I gave you after we left to talk to me if you're done."

Deadpool took out a cyan gem and looked at it. "I thought this was a down-payment for my services." Deadpool looked back at the royal guard and saw his unamused face.

"What, I'm kidding!"

The guard just shook his head and took off. Wade had been told that the treasure was in a series of abandoned villages in the area, so he ran in a random direction.

You even know where we're going?

Nope.

Ehh, just find the statue. This swamp is boring and smelly.

Yep! Time to... oh look! Abandoned village!

Deadpool ran off, inadvertently capturing the attention of a monster in the murky water.

"Ugg, this is cold... like eighth wife after I found out that she was dead."

Nikolai had traveled to the Frozen Mountains and knew that it would be cold. Nikolai was drunk though, so he didn't mind. He soon came up to cave with the pony who had to drug Nikolai before taking him to this place.

"Okay Nikolai, this cave is dangerous, so take this lantern." The pony said as he gave Nikolai a lantern, an oil lantern specifically.

"Great, a fucking outdated lantern."

"It's more useful for this place. After all, it's also a heat source."

"Okay, I guess that'll work. Nikolai is going in now, bye."

Nikolai saw the guard nod before walking away. Nikolai walked in the cave after lighting the lantern on. It soon became to the point where Nikolai couldn't see unless he had the lantern.

"Ugh, this place is cold."

What did ya expect?

"Some vodka as a reward."

Typical...

Nikolai walked deeper in the cave, not knowing that there was a familiar danger in this cave.

*Grrr...*

Stryker could see a orangish landscape ahead, and there was something sleeping there.

"You sure this is safe?"

"No Stryker, but this is needed for the safety of Equestria."

"Fine, I'm going."

The chariot landed near the entrance and Stryker got out. He had a map of the area and the location where he would go was marked. All he had to do was avoid what was here. He looked to see a dragon creature that was covered in gems, and looked like a child's crude drawing.

"Well, that isn't ugly."

Yeah, haha!

Stryker saw the entrance and walked towards it, quietly. The last thing Stryker needed was to be burned to a crisp by a bunch of dragons for no good reason other than interrupting their nap. He reached the cave and saw the treasure. But it had protection.

"Dammit! That dragon isn't going to let me just take it, and he's too close to just snag it, especially from how painful it seemed to be for David."

What now?

Stryker seemed stuck, until he reached in his bag, and pulled out some C4.

I got an idea. A crazy one, but one that'll probably work.

It involves that thing, doesn't it?

Hell yeah.

David leaned back in the chariot as he flew over the 'other capital' with Princess Celestia.

"Well, I expect this to be interesting."

"It is a peace signing, but these creatures have been harassing my loyal subjects for months, before we declared war and won."

"War? I expected this to be all sunshine and lollipops."

"Hardly, there is problems such as balancing the economy, keeping order, enforcing laws, and making sure that the ponies are happy."

"Sounds like my world." David remarked with a little resentment, obviously angry at how stupidly the Democrats and Republicans fought over things that could have helped America in the long run.

"What is wrong with your world?" Celestia asked, hearing the resentment in David's tone.

"Oh, just the fact that my congress does nothing because they just bicker."

Your world is a democracy?

Yes.

"Interesting." This man has a democracy at home. This may play into making him help us. "Well, I'll give you a choice then, you can go with me to the signing, or..."

"I'll go with you. It's not a good idea to run off alone in a hostile country."

"What makes you think it's hostile?"

"You said you had a war with these things, right?"

"Oh, right."

"Exactly!" David said. "So I'm going with you, incognito of course."

"What is your..."

David simply put his fingers on Celestia's mouth, and put them off shortly afterwards.

"I got a cloak, and I plan on rooftop hopping." David said as he pulled out a cloak hidden in the corner of the chariot.

Celestia smiled at the human, knowing that he'll do fine, if he would not go overboard.

Restraint David... David thought. They may be creepy, but they won't kill you.

Glad to hear you say that.

Thanks, but I still don't like you.

Likewise.

Deadpool looked at the abandoned huts and found nothing, except a map that had a cave marked, Deadpool then decided that he would get chimichangas somehow, so he went there to get closer to the deep-fried food.

Explain to me how that description of what happened makes sense?

Because, CHIMICHANGAS!

How about chimicherrychangas?

That too.

I'm hungry for those lips.

Sorry, you're too touchy, and he's too boring.

I never had any interest anyway. Though the Deadpool vs. Equestria version of me seemed to be.

What was that about anyway?

That story is about me going to Equestria after being forced to watch your show because of Weasel, and I end up dating you. And there was something about ghost-zombies and stuff.

Sounds good.

Yeah, but grammar could use some work.

Definitely.

We're here!

Wade was indeed at a depressed part of the swamp, and a tree had a suspicious looking water-ripple.

"Better..." Deadpool then brought out his MP7s and fired at the tree like hell was coming, all while saying,

"BANG! BANG BANG BANG! BANG BANG! BANG BANG! BANG!"

The tree fell and a water spout came, releasing a totem pole, with Deadpool's face on the top. It was glowing pink.

"Oh look, an important plot point, better pick it up and feel pain."

You better not involuntarily lose control of your bladder and rectum like the other fanfic.

"Shut up, it was not me! How'd we know that anyway?"

You're asking the ones who just noted that there was a version of you dating a version of me, like right now.

"Seems legit."

Deadpool grabbed the totem pole and felt pain, and weak.

"Wade..."

"Death?" Wade said weakly.

Wade, stay strong, this world must be saved before we meet again.

"Ugh, I will, for you. You sexy skeleton."

If I had cheeks, I'd be blushing. Good luck Wade, and goodbye.

She seems nice.

"RAAGH!" Wade had began to make an effort to stay alive and absorbed the power of the totem pole. He had ended up on his knees and now was wondering what awesome powers this dude had gotten just 17 seconds ago.

Real nice to superimpose your penname in, author.

Thank you. Anyway, Wade had looked at his hands, and got up. He felt... nothing.

"What did I get?"

*RAAGH!*

"What the fu..." Deadpool turned to see something horrible dangerous.

"Oh by the power of Old Spice and Black Jesus! A fucking hydra!"

It was a five headed hydra, and looked at Deadpool like a tasty midnight snack.

Wade, Run! And use the power of Old Spice!

We left it at home!

Oh fuck! We're fucked!

"SHIT! RUN AWAY TIME!"

Deadpool began to run away, firing his guns at the hydra, but to no avail.

"Why must this be hard?"

No Old Spice.

"Not helping!"

This seemed like the end, but then...

"Wait, don't I have grenades?"

Oh, for Faust sake! Throw them, call the guard, and get the hell out of here.

"Right!" Deadpool got his Deadpool bombs and threw them at the hydra, making it fall back. Deadpool took this moment to call the guard.

"I got it, pick me up!"

"Right!"

Deadpool hopped into the treetops and hopped over to where the pegasus was landing. It was a few minutes but he got there.

"You okay?" Asked the royal guard.

"Yeah, fly off! We gots a hydra!"

"A what-now?"

*GGRRRAAA!*

Deadpool looked at the stallion, and the pegasus flew off as fast as he could, a hydra appearing out of the swamp as he did. Deadpool then decided to taunt it.

"Nya nya nya nya nya nya!" Deadpool pantsed the hydra, angering it fully.

*RRAAAH!*

"HA!" Deadpool pulled up his pants and sat down.

"Mission accomplished."

HOORAY!

"Where we going now?"

"Canterlot."

"Sweet!"

Nikolai had found a quartz crystal colored orange and was glowing. It had to be the relic. One problem.

"Shit, frozen out. Maybe I'll drink, that'll help."

No it won't

"Whatever."

*Graa...*

"Huh?"

Nikolai looked up to see a zombie, frozen in, with only the head out of the ice.

What is that thing?

"Oh look. It is zombie wanting death. You want bullet, here." Nikolai aimed his H115 Oscillator, a heavily modified HK21, at the zombie.

"Damn my blurry vision."

Maybe you should sober up.

"My ass that'll happen."

Why even...

Nikolai fired a shot, and got perfect headshot.

"Either I'm good, or I'm drunk! I got two zombies with one bullet."

Yer drunk.

"Sounds like Nikolai. Hey, how did..."

"Uh, what?"

The ice cavern began to crack, and the quartz crystal fell out the ice. But the cave was falling apart and the zombie in the ice wasn't the only zombie.

*Grr...*

*Ragh...*

*SAM!*

"Oh shit!" Nikolai took out a rag and picked up the gem. He then hightailed it out of the collapsing cave.

If Ah die 'cause of you, Ah hope you don't end up in heaven!

"I just am fucking FUCKED!" Nikolai said as he ran away from the hoard of 50 zombies. The entrance came up, and Nikolai dropped something.

"Oh no! My vodka!"

Ferget it, if you die, no more vodka ever.

Nikolai thought about it. If he was dead, then no vodka ever. If he just lost one bottle, he could get much more vodka.

"I will forget it, but you owe me." Nikolai said as he ran towards the exit.

Glad tah hear.

Nikolai jumped out, took out his EPC WN, and fired at the zombies with extreme sternness. Applejack was surprised at how he tackled these creature. The cave finally collapsed on the remaining zombies, and Nikolai fell back on his ass.

"Ha ha! I just killed more zombies, how'd they get here?"

Ah dunno, just knew they were here.

Nikolai rested a few minutes, before taking the crystal in his hand and calling the guard.

"I am good now, pick me up. And bring vodka."

You got it.

Nikolai took the crystal, and grabbed it. His drunkenness made the pain dull and it went away quickly. Nikolai then noticed a few things.

"Perma-perks. Wow, I am going to drink lots of vodka."

Ugh.

You sure this'll work Stryker?

Positive, wait for the boom.

Stryker had set up the C4 at a good distance away from the cave. All he had to do was activate the detonator, and BOOM! Stryker had put his hand over the trigger.

Three...

Two...

ONE!

"What the!"

"What was that!"

"Dude, there was an explosion there."

"Let's check it out."

Stryker heard some stomping move past him. He looked to see the pseudo-guard wake up and walk out, confused at what happened. Stryker then went up to the prize, an amulet that looked like Quan Chi's amulet. Stryker grabbed it and felt the worst pain of his life. He stayed quiet though, lest he attract the attention of the dragons. When the power was fully absorbed, Stryker collapsed, panting in exhaustion.

Damn, David was right.

When you feel good, get the hell out!

Was thinking the same thing.

When Stryker got up, he ran out the cave and snuck past the dragons going to and from the fire. Amazingly, it was easier than when they were sleeping. Once Stryker got out of the Badlands, he ran a good distance before contacting the guard.

"I got the power, gonna see what I got back at the castle."

"Be right there."

After a few minutes, Stryker found the chariot and got in. They then flew off, knowing that this was just the beginning.

"So, Princess. Who is the diplomat?"

The answer came when they came through the doors. The diplomat was sitting in chair with a quill and an inkwell. She had an angry look on her face. She spoke.

"So, you ready, Celestia?"

"Of course, Queen Chrysalis." Celestia said as she sat in her end of the table.

Water Temples and Magic Puzzles

Link had been in the chariot to Neighagra Falls for a good 5 minutes. He had noted how some the towns he had pass seemed so similar to him, and yet so very different. Canterlot was much like the Castle Town in a sense, and Ponyville like Kakariko Village. But they had things he could not even think about, and yet many things he had seen so often in his journeys. It was confusing to say the least.

Umm, Link...

What is it Fluttershy?

Do you think that this place we're going to... is dangerous?

I can expect it, the treasure there has to have monsters in there to protect it.

Monsters!

Don't worry, monsters are not things I haven't dealt with before.

Oh good, you seem so brave. 'And cute.'

I guess so, I know that this was not what I was expecting. But then again, I was not expecting to go from a ram herder to a hero, just like that.

Oh, sounds like a strange way to become a hero.

Believe me, some things even I didn't get, but I went along with it nonetheless.

Good for you. 'Oh, he's so humble.'

"We're here!"

Link turned to the guard and saw over his shoulder the waterfall. It shocked Link how beautiful it was. Almost made him regret not trying to see the Twilight sunset during his last adventure.

"You okay?"

Link shook his head, and nodded at the stallion. He motioned to go down, which the puller understood. When they landed, Link got off and proceeded to take out a cyan gem and pointed at it.

"Thats right, just speak into it, and I'll pick you up."

Link nodded and the pegasus flew off. Link then looked for an entrance for a shrine. When he failed to do so, he assumed it was underwater.

Well, this is probably why the treasure is so well guarded. The entrance isn't even on the surface.

But how are going to go underwater?

I have something that will help. Link thought as he took out his Zora Armor and began to put it on. Fluttershy didn't know what it was.

What is that?

Zora Armor, it allows me to breath underwater.

Really! I can just imagine all the fish I can talk to.

I bet. Link had put on his Armor and put away his Hero's clothes. He proceeded to then get a running start to the water and dove in. As he did, he put a veil over his face and began to swim down. It was 5 minute before he found the cave entrance.

Blocked? No problem.

Link put on his Iron Boots and sank to the bottom. He then took out a water bomb and threw it at the cave entrance, blowing up the blockage. To his surprise, the cave began to suck in water and sucked our hero in as well. He was being trashed around along the walls and getting seriously hurt.

AHH! UGH! AEIA!

LINK!

A geyser made from the cave's sudden entrance spat out the hero and...

Link was seriously hurt.

LINK! DON'T DIE!

Link's breathing was labored, but he took a bottle and uncorked it. Out came a fairy and healed Link to only a fraction of his health. But that didn't matter, Link was okay.

Link! Don't worry me like that again, please don't!

It's okay, I'm fine now. I just need to find the relic and find a way out.

Link looked around and noted the room was flooding. He saw a large circular door and walked up to it. He pushed it open and walked through. It then closed itself on him and he looked around. The cave was really a temple...

A very large one.

Oh, for the love of Nayru!

"So Harry, are you sure that you will not need help?" Luna asked as she showed Harry a gate into the caverns under the castle.

"No, I know many offensive and defensive spells. There is probably not even monsters down here."

"Very well! Take care."

"Thank you." Harry said as he saw the gate unlocked and open. He took one last look at the princess, before entering the cave. He took out his wand and lit the way.

So Harry, how does your magic work compared to ours?

Well, my magic requires stern control of a wand, and incantations to perform the spell.

Interesting!

My magic also come in both spells that can heal, hurt and everything in between.

Has anypony in your world... murdered someone with magic before.

Many times, with curses and very powerful spells.

What!

Indeed, but with the dark lord gone from my world, that is not going to happen anymore.

Dark lord?

I'll explain when we're done here. Harry thought as he came to a puzzle, a simple lock. Harry tried to move it with his hands, but he couldn't move it. He then assumed that magic was needed.

Perfect, I just have to move this just right...

That's it!

Harry saw the lock fall forward to reveal a doorway, leading to another puzzle, a giant version of Wizard's Chess.

Chess, this may be more difficult than I thought.

Just so long as the opponent isn't skilled, I think we'll be fine.

I guess we have to take this slowly.

"So, you ready, Celestia?"

"Of course, Queen Chrysalis." Celestia said as she sat in her end of the table.

David noted how this 'Queen Chrysalis' looks very bug-like.

Are those holes in her legs?

Yes, I never really understood why Changelings have them.

Aerodynamics?

It's plausible.

Yeah... still creepy as hell though.

Indeed. Hey, we're agreeing on something!

Holy crap! That is not something I'm interested in.

Why you...

"Ahem, Celestia."

"Yes Chrysalis?"

"Who is that?" Queen Chrysalis said as she pointed at David, who took off his cloak to reveal himself.

"His name is David, He offered his services and is my bodyguard for this meeting."

"Really Celestia, getting a non-pony to do your dirty work."

Chrysalis turned to see David point a massive 5 foot blade at her. He began to talk.

"Behave, or you're getting more than a failed treaty."

David made the blade disappear and saw Celestia's disapproving face. He took the hint and went out of the room for a few minutes.

Way to go, threatening the queen of an enemy country.

She should not have been a smartass.

You should behave more!

You should... Hey, what is with those changelings?

Indeed, a group of changelings were gathering and then some other creatures. David even noted some ponies among the group.

That can't be good.

What do you think will happen?

I expect shit to hit the fan, we need to warn the princess.

David walked in and noted the two were in a very heated negotiation process. David walked to Celestia.

"We need to leave, now."

"Not now, I've almost got the queen to agree to my treaty."

"Well, forget it, we've got problems."

"What kind of..."

The nearest door to David blew open and in came multiple creatures dressed in orange and black. The apparent leader, a gryphon, spoke up.

"Tuer la Grève 782! Kill the Queen and Princess!"

"Dammit!"

After about 30 minutes of solving puzzles, killing the monsters that stood in his way and getting the master key, Link had finally stood in front of the entrance of the monster that guarded the Trifocal Power Link needed to get.

This is it then.

Be careful.

Link put the key in the keyhole and turned it. The lock fell and the door opened. Link ran in and the door closed behind him. He looked up to see...

Nothing. There was nothing in this room. Link was confused, but he looked at the markings on the dry ground.

That seems familiar. Link noted as he looked at the markings. He looked at the wall above the door and gasped.

It's the relic!

The relic was glowing yellow. But from the distance it was at, it clearly could not be discerned what shape it was. The ground then felt, shaky?

What was that?

What the... Link turned around.

A six armed monster came down, in each of its arms was in metal gauntlets and it's face was twisted to the point that is barely recognizable as a face. Its chest was skeletonized and its weak point, the heart, was covered. It looked down at Link and screamed at the hero.

AHHHHHH!!!!!!

Link just entered a battle pose and unsheathed his sword with his left hand.

Hexorse brought its middle right arm down where Link was. Link dodged out of the way and saw that its ribcage had cracks in it.

Maybe... Link took out his Clawshots and fired both at the ribcage. It worked, the ribcage began to split and the heart was exposed. Link dashed forward and hopped on it. Sword in his left hand, he began to stab the heart. Hexorse began to scream in pain as it frantically tried to shake Link off. After a few hits, Link was off and ready to repeat the process. Hexorse lifted its top arms and swung down, creating a shockwave. Link managed to backflip to avoid it and clawshotted the ribcage again. After it opened up, Link dashed again and began to stab the heart. After this was done, Hexorse roared in anger and took off its gauntlets. Link got off and stepped back to see that the hands had an elemental power in each hand. Forest in the middle right, Fire in the upper right, Water in the upper left, Shadow in the lower left, Spirit in the middle left, and Light in the lower right.

Once again, it roared.

Link had took off his Zora Armor in favor of his regular clothes. Fire would hurt Link severely in Zora Armor. Hexorse used the forest power to summon Deku Babas to attack Link.

AHHH!

Link swung his sword and sliced off the stem of the Deku Baba, killing it. Link repeated the process with the others. He then clawshot Hexorse again, opening its ribcage. Link began to attack the monster and stabbed it with fury. Link began to give the final strike and stabbed the creature in the heart. Hexorse had had enough, it began to stubble and collapsed. The power in its hands began to consume it until it dissolved into nothing. Link spun his sword twice in front of him, then another three time behind his back, before sheathing the sword.

The treasure fell down and Link looked at it.

Link! You did it!

I know. So this is what we need to get.

Has to be. Pick it up.

Link did pick it up, and fell in pain, still clutching the Trifocal Power. Link took one good look at it to realized something.

It looks like... AHH! the Triforce.

Link began to scream as the power consumed him. In bright flash, Link was now panting. He had looked to see the Triforce of Courage glowing brightly on his hand. It faded away shortly after.

Well, that was interesting. Let's get out of here.

Let's.

And Link began to leave the room, but one thought crossed his mind when he looked in his bag.

How'd I get this ocarina?

I never knew that Wizard's chess could be so... graphic!

And now we have went through about 7 different puzzles, each more difficult than the last.

This better be the last one.

Yeah. Harry looked at the layout. A large boulder in a sphere shape was in a maze, and there were multiple holes. There was a pressure gauge near the apparent end.

I'm guessing I have to be careful and calculating.

This is difficult, I know. I've done this before.

And I only get one chance, better move slowly.

Harry took his wand.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Harry lifted the board and began to tilt it. The boulder moved. Harry did so carefully, as so the it would not fall in the hole. After about 25 minutes of doing so, Harry was on the last stretch.

"Last run, slowly and carefully now." Harry told himself as he drew closer to the goal.

He had done it. The ball was now on the gauge and the door next to Harry opened. He went in.

He looked on to see the relic he needed to find. When he looked closer, it looked like the Hogwarts symbol. This made Harry raise an eyebrow, but he nonetheless knew what to do. When he grabbed it, he felt immense pain. He screamed at the power forced into himself. He only held on on the hope that he would get home soon. When the flash of power blew out, Harry was now panting in pained way.

Damn, that was painful.

I would figure.

Harry got up, slowly, and began to walk out of the cavern. After a few minutes, he reached the castle grounds and was walking to the throne room. There he saw four familiar faces. Deadpool turned to see the wizard.

"Hey! Harry's back! Now we can..."

"Wait until David's here." Stryker said.

"Do we have to?" Nikolai said.

Link nodded vigorously. And the other humans said 'yes' in their own ways.

"Fine, but I need..." Nikolai then felt something rising. "Oh shit! Nausea!"

The other's looked, expecting vomiting. What really happened was that Nikolai belched out something with a little fire, a scroll. Luna then took it.

"This is from my sister." Luna unraveled it and soon widened her eyes. Harry became worried.

"We need to go to the changeling empire! Tuer la Grève 782 has attacked my sister!"

"Tuer la Grève 782?"

"We need to go!"

"Does that mean Nikolai has to get drugged again?"

"Yes, let's go, NOW!" The six soon went to a large chariot and after Nikolai got drugged again, they went off. They all knew that their new skills would have to be tried in combat.

Revelations

David had summoned two FN Five-seveNs to fight off the hoard of mixed creatures. As he did, he hid behind a turned over table with Queen Chrysalis and Princess Celestia.

"Tuer la Grève 782, who the hell are they?"

"They are a paramilitary company that perform less than moral jobs all over the world." Celestia answered. "I condemned them about 1000 years ago and they are still considered a terrorist group by yours truly."

David looked at the princess with a confused look. "Just how old are you?"

"Isn't it rude to ask a mare her age?"

"Forget it!" David went out of cover and shot a minotaur PMC in the chest four times, and went back in cover.

I wonder how much I can get on his remains on EBay?

What's EBay?

Something where you can buy and sell everything.

Really!

I can't give it, don't own it.

Shame, think of all the cloth I could have brought.

That's stupid.

If you weren't in danger of dying, I would be retorting.

While David and Rarity fought in David's head, the princess wrote an urgent letter to her sister, and sent it.

"Are you sure that that'll help?" Chrysalis asked.

"Of course," Responded Celestia. "Did you think he was the only one?"

"No, I just assumed that only he was the competent one."

"Competent, maybe..." David said as he summoned a balistic knife and shot it into a unicorn PMC's eye. "But I'm also insane. So naturally, I'm the guy who knows how to do things in a different way. By the way, this is the first time I've killed anything." David summoned an AA-12 Shotgun and blasted a changeling PMC in the face, peeling away it's face to reveal it's grey and green brain.

"Ugh, it's horrible that my own subjects would turn against me like this." Chrysalis said.

"As have my own, we may have to bury the hatchet for now Chrysalis. Agreed?" Celestia said.

"Of course! It is our lives."

The two nodded and began to help David, who had summoned an AKS-74u to fight off the PMCs attacking the meeting. David counted about 56 creatures overall...

57, and the last one had to be a damn dragon!

I'm scared!

Well I'm fucking not! This is a real challenge!

You really are insane...

Thank you.

David went out of cover, summoned two FMG9s, unfolded them, and aimed at the leader.

"Who wants some?"

Deadpool, Harry, Link, Stryker, Luna and Nikolai were on a carriage over to the changeling empire. At the same time, multiple royal guard were also there to help the fight. Harry knew things were serious, but he had some time before they were at the fight.

"Explain to me why Nikolai is drugged."

"Well," Luna explained. "Nikolai is apparently acrophobic, so he has to be drugged to avoid panic from him."

"Ah!"

"Well, what is this Tuer la Grève 782?" Deadpool asked.

"An international paramilitary group that is considered under Equestrian law, a terrorist group."

"Oh, I remember being with a paramilitary group. They were Vermaak 88, and I accidently blew up their base."

Oh yeah, that was not a good day.

I told you not to pull that switch.

"Well excuse me, Voices!"

"Wade, you're thinking out loud again." Stryker said.

"I am! Weird. I wonder how they are."

"Probably still pissed at you."

"Yeah, I guess."

They could have been your friends. I'm disappointed.

I could have been your boyfriend! Come back!

Only if you don't get touchy.

No promises.

No.

Oh, I'm gonna be... not here.

Oh dear, he gonna bawl now. I better go with.

"Kay, bye!"

"Who are you... Nevermind." Harry said.

"I hope we're not too late." Luna said, hoping that her sister is alright.

David and the PMC's never moved an inch. The suspence was nearly killing him.

The slightest movement would set this fight off, but this battle need to end badly. Only one side must win.

Nopony knew who moved first, but what happened next could only be described as a gory bloodbath. David fired at an earth pony PMC until his face was mutilated beyond recognition. He then summoned an RPG-7 and fired at a group of 4 donkey PMCs, killing them. David looked around to see 52 more enemies.

"Come on, you want to die?"

They just readied themselves for battle. David shrugged, and summoned a chainsaw, then revved it up.

"Fine then, DIE!" David charged at the dragon and sawed through its chest. David was getting soaked in blood and the massive creature was screaming in pain. David jumped off as soon as the dragon began to yell less loudly, but left the makeshift weapon in the chest.

In his mind, this was the most dangerous, yet fun action he's been in of all time. He began to listen to music in his head.

Ugh, I don't like this.

David dashed at the hoard of changeling PMCs and summoned katanas to slice them up. He then turned towards a group of minotaurs, who each had crossbows with bombs on them.

"Damn, that's overkill."

David summoned an M202 Rocket launcher and fire four napalm rockets at the same time at the minotaurs. Blood and guts flew all over the room, not even sparing the royalty from this bloodsplatter.

"Oh by the Faust!" Celestia said, shocked at how gory that explosion was. She was used to violence, but not on this level. Queen Chrysalis...

"Please help us." Chrysalis said in a helpless tone.

David charged at the gryphon group, who was armed with swords. One of them managed to slice into David's arm. Incredibly, however. It didn't even dent his bone.

"That hurts like hell, you prick!"

David punched the gryphon out while he grabbed another's head, did a handstand on it, and twisted sharply, snapping the gryphon's neck.

David grabbed the other three gryphons, threw them up into the air and summoned a double-barreled over-under shotgun, and aimed.

"This is skeet shooting."

David fired at the gryphons and they were severely wounded, but still alive.

I'm going to have nightmares for months.

Not my fault, completely.

At that point, there were a good amount of PMCs left, and the leader had a massive axe drawn. He rushed David at incredible speeds, just enough for David to take full swing into his ribcage.

"AHH!" David's ribcage never broke, but the swing left him short of breath and he collapsed.

"Now, stay here while we kill you." The gryphon said as he raised his axe.

"Stupify!"

The gryphon was hit and launched away. David got up to see the cavalry arrive.

"Where were you guys?"

"Getting over here." Deadpool replied.

"Well, then! Let's finish this!"

The other humans cheered and they entered battle against the rest of the PMC.

"Tuer la Grève 782, retreat!"

The PMC ran away, they had lost this battle. David was especially ecstatic.

"Yeah! Eat that, you mixed up bastards! WHOOO!"

Princess Celestia and Queen Chrysalis came up to the six humans, and bowed.

"Thank you for saving us, our heroes." Celestia said.

"We are forever in your debt."

"Thank you, you two. That means a lot." Stryker said.

The two rulers rose and smiled. It was now over.

"RRAAHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH"

The gryphon leader had dashed into David and gave him one hell of a punch, knocking him out cold. Stryker retaliated by shocking the lion-eagle hybrid, then shooting his head off with his handgun. The gryphon fell to the floor as his tongue wagged around, dead. Stryker then came to David.

"We need a medic!"

David was confused. The last thing he remembered was that he was being sucker-punched by a gryphon. He looked around.

"Am I dead?"

"No, you're not."

David turned to see a white unicorn with a curly purple mane in his presence. The voice told him enough who it was.

"Oh, Rarity..."

"David..."

Silence. The two hated each other with a passion. David turned away from the mare.

"Get away."

"How can I? We're in a world where we have to stay together."

"Well then I'll make you go away." David said as he turned around to face the mare.

"Is that a threat?"

"Maybe it is, Maybe it isn't. Who cares, just get out of my face!"

"You know, you could be more polite!"

"Maybe you should stop being a bitch!"

"Maybe you should stop insulting ladies!"

"Maybe you should shut the hell up!"

"I bet you're enjoying this, everything in this world! I bet you love to be here!"

"DO YOU THINK I WANT TO BE HERE!?!?"

Rarity was taken aback at the force of David's outburst.

"Do you think I'm in this world because I wanted to? I never wanted to be here! I never asked for this! I never asked to be torn away from my friends and family for this! If I could get rid of my powers to get out of this world, I would!"

Rarity looked at David. Is he, crying?

"I miss my home, I miss my friends, I... I miss my family." David dropped to his knees. "I miss everything."

David took off his glasses and put his hands over his eyes and began to sob. As he did, Rarity began to see him in a new light. She put a hoof over her mouth, and her eyes widened slightly.

Oh no, what have I done? I've made him cry, and... he's lonely.

Rarity began to cry at his misery. She could not bear to see this man, who had insulted her to insanity, cry his soul out. She approached him slowly, and soon gave him comforting hug.

David looked over the mare and saw that she was crying too. What have I done, I've insulted her for no reason, and she has... David could not finish that thought, as he wrapped his arms around the mare and began to talk.

"I'm so sorry for all the things I said to you. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry for all the things I've done to you too, David. I truly am."

The two continued to hug. They knew one thing, this curse had to be broken, but now, there was a new reason.

The need to get back home, and live life again.

This world faded away, as David began to regain consciousness.

David woke up to beeping, and stinging feeling in his arm. He opened his eyes and heard someone talk.

"Oh thank God, you're alright David!"

"Stryker? Where am I?"

"The medical bay. You took a bad hit to the head, and that laceration to the arm wasn't good either." Stryker explained.

"How long was I out?"

"17 minutes."

"Damn, how long until sunrise?"

"2 hours."

"Good. How long until we can go?"

"Until the doc says you're good."

"Which he is!" Said the Unicorn Doctor who walked in.

"Do I know you?" David asked.

"No. I'm the royal guard medic for the mission to help you."

"And the peace treaty?"

"Thanks to that attack, the treaty signed was a very light punishment for the changelings; a payment of 2 million bits and no trade for a year." The doctor said with a little disappointment.

"Alrighty then." David said as he pulled the IV out of his arm and got out of bed.

"Oh, and one more thing..."

"Yes doc?"

"It seems your bones are stronger than steel. Do you have any idea how that's possible?"

David seemed confused, but said, "I have an idea, but I'd rather not tell."

"Okay, you may leave now."

"Thanks." David said rather politely, which made Stryker seem worried.

"Hey man, you alright?"

"Yeah, just kinda got a wake up call, about my mortality." David replied as he looked at the bandages over his cut arm.

"I think I can understand. The others are waiting for you at the castle."

"Is there a chariot?"

"You're in it."

David seemed confused, until...

"We're here, is the patient conscious?"

"Yes, yes I am! Take me to the princess now!" David replied.

"Are you..."

"Just do it. I'm kinda... yeah."

David walked out of the carriage and landed on the floor. He seemed a bit tipsy from some painkiller, but it should wear off. Stryker hopped out as well.

"You ready to go?" Stryker asked.

David was silent for a few moments. "Yes."

The two went to the throne room, where they would be evaluated for their performance.

The Afterthought

David and Stryker were walking through the hallway. David thought it would be a good time to say something.

"You remember what Rarity said this afternoon?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, when I was out, we talked and we decided not to insult each other and whatnot."

"Really now?"

I'd like proof!

Well ask tomorrow then. I'm sure she'll tell you the truth.

Okay, but I don't take his word for it.

"Well David, I hope you are okay and well. Oh, by the way..."

"What?"

"You still got blood all over you."

David looked all over himself and sighed. "That's what you get when a PMC attacks suddenly and you pretty much go badass mode on them."

"Yeah."

"Completely random thought! If I had the power to go back in time, I would go back to the 1930's and totally kick Hitler's ass!"

"Wouldn't you want to kill him?"

"Are you crazy? That is impossible, because if he dies, then Stalin takes over Europe, then I'd have to back in time to stop that from happening and, oh my GOD, it is confusing!"

"Huh."

That was awkward.

Agreed.

Who's Hitler?

You don't want to know, just don't.

"Well," David said. "we're here."

The group of two were outside the throne room. The two allies looked at eachother, then nodded. They entered and were greeted with the other humans and the two princesses. Celestia rose from her throne.

"I trust you are okay?"

"Just a flesh wound and a mild headache. I'm fine."

"Good to hear. I must say though, your way of fighting is... disturbing."

"What can I say, there's no kill like overkill."

"Amen brotha!" Deadpool said.

I'm back, and I decided that I don't need you Pink Caption Box!

Really?

Yep, he's more into the rainbow-maned one we saw this morning.

She so sassy! Me likey!

"Please Yellow Caption! Rainbow Dash does not need to know you're crushing on her."

"Wade... Why are you talking to someone who doesn't speak?" David asked.

"Well, there's Yellow Caption Box, White Caption Box, and Pinkie Pie! I talk to them regularly."

"In other words, Schizophrenia." Stryker said, seeing his share of schizophrenics.

"Is that the sciency term? Doesn't matter, I'm still badass."

"Which reminds me, what powers did you guys get?" David asked. Nikolai immediately walked forward.

"I got power-ups called Perk-a-Colas."

Link seemed confused. Are these Perk-a-Colas elixirs?

"Perks are extra hardiness, fast running, fast reload, fast fire, quick pick up of fallen comrade, boom-proof, sharp shooting thingy and more killing bullets. I also have bag full of guns now, see." Nikolai dumped his satchel's content's on the ground. It was all Pack-a-Punched weapons that were available from Nikolai's journey. David picked up the Reaper.

"Is this a PPSh-41?"

"Used to be, it is now upgraded so now it's Reaper. It is bitchin' weapon."

Link looked at what used to be an M1911 pistol and picked it up with his left hand. He looked at it carefully.

It's engraved, but that's it. What is this...

Link accidently pulled the trigger to the gun, firing a shot and...

"MY BALLS!" Deadpool screamed. The explosive blew up near the merc, but a piece of shrapnel hit Wade in the genitals.

"Walk it off, Wade." Stryker said, knowing Deadpool's healing factor made this a moot point to worry about.

"Ugh, I bet you did that on purpose, dumbass!" Wade said as he took the C3000 b1atch35 away from Link and putting it in his pants, dangerously close to his groin.

Isn't that dangerous?

And stupid?

And who are you talking to?

...

...

Exactly! "Who's up for chimichangas?"

No response. Wade then deadpanned.

"OH COME ON! If you don't come with, I'll show you my face!"

"Please, can't be that ugly." David said.

Wade narrowed his eyes, then put his hands on the mask.

Oh God, he's doing it!

Hide!

Is he ugly?

Fuck yeah!

Wade lifted his mask and soon it was off. He looked at the reactions, and he was surprised at said reactions. Before he said something, David handed him a mirror.

"Whatever you got, it was good."

"Good? What are you... oo oo oo!" Wade saw that the relic gave Deadpool one of his best gifts ever.

"My God, I'm handsome!"

Wade was now scarless, had blond hair and was looking good.

He still has us though. White Caption box?

Umm...

"OH HELL YES!"

The other humans were confused, but David got out first and approached Deadpool.

"Well, you have no cancer scars anymore Wade, but you're still an insane mercenary."

"Yeah. You know what, I think I'll keep the mask until it's all over just for lulz." Deadpool said as he put his mask on. Stryker was now ready to talk.

"Well I have an idea. David, how about a friendly spar?"

"I'll be friendly, you go all out." David said, cracking his knuckles.

"You sure?"

"Guns off safety man, I'm invincible."

"Alright, your choice." Stryker put his fist in his palm and entered a fighting pose.

Stryker immediately closed the distance between him and David and gave a few powerful punches to his chest. David was surprised at his apparent strength, but also understood it. He retaliated with a palm strike, which pushed Stryker back and made him roll.

"Okay try Stryker, come on!"

Stryker got up and reached for something.

"Eat this!" Stryker said as he threw two grenades at David. One of them hit but David was mildly stunned.

"Concussion grenades? Come on!" David said.

"You asked for it!" Stryker took out two guns and opened fire on David. One of them hit him in the head and deflected off. It did leave a hole in the dermis.

"Hurt like hell, that was good!"

Why are you putting yourself in unnecessary danger?

Training, never know when it'll help.

I suppose.

David dashed forward. Stryker never moved.

"Spread 'em!" Stryker said as he took out a flashlight and blinded David. Once he was on his knees, Stryker smashed his head with the flashlight, then smacked David's face with a nightstick. Finally, he tased David.

Isn't that a bit excessive!

Maybe, but David wanted to do it like this.

David fell back on his back. He looked up at the cop and smiled.

"Okay, you win!"

Stryker reached his hand out, and David grabbed it.

"Good fight. Noticed something different?" David said as he got up.

"Well, I apparently have improved reflexes, and disregard for practicality."

"Good, that's totally me. You'll do fine."

Well that was interesting.

Totally.

Link had watched the fight unfold and was thoroughly impressed.

Stryker seemed to know what he was doing, but it scared me to know that they would just fight like that so suddenly.

They did seem to know what they were doing. I find Stryker's way of fighting fascinating. I'm thinking about asking him for lessons now.

Oh go for it! I wouldn't want you to be hurt badly, especially with what happened earlier. 'And you seem so caring. Oh, why must we be like this.'

As Link conversed with Fluttershy, Harry looked at the two fighters, and shook his head.

Well, that got me worried for no reason.

Yeah, I was hoping that David would win.

You don't like Stryker much, do you?

I don't think of him as my friend, but I do see him a rival.

Hopefully not bitter.

I'll need to know him better beforehand.

Well, just be glad there wasn't any unfortunate accidents here.

"Ahem, are you six ready to leave? That fight seemed unnecessary." Celestia said.

"Fine," David said. "Let's go guys. And we'll hide the car better this time Princess."

"Please."

The six humans went to the car. Harry's and Link's abilities would have to be explored later. Right now, the moon had almost set and the sun was over the horizon. They had entered the car and David looked through the songs. He had chosen an obscure song as his riding music, a house song. David began to drive off. When the synths began to join in, it began to calm the crew, even Nikolai was agreeing with it.

"This is calming, especially with what happened tonight." Nikolai said, drink from his bottle.

This garnered a few laughs from Link, Stryker, Deadpool and even David. David especially felt really good about himself when he buried the hatchet with Rarity.

I like this song, it's so soothing.

I like it too, it calms me down.

The car ride was mainly uneventful. Link then noted something.

It seems the more aggressive this 'music' is, the more reckless David uses this thing.

Mmmm... oh you say something, this song is so relaxing.

Nevermind it, just a random thought.

Oh okay, I guess we'll see each other soon.

But, we're right here.

I mean face to face, rather than...

Oh, I understand.

David had driven to the outskirts of Ponyville as the song was ending and carefully moved the car so that it would be hidden in a ditch, by shadows and rocks, not an easy feat. Once that was done, they all went to Twilight's library, where they got some much needed rest. They soon fell asleep from exhaustion from tonight's event.

Look Ahead, and Hope

Rarity was laying on a couch when she woke up. She knew that the humans were out last night, of course. But she needed to know one thing first.

David.

Yes?

Did we really, stop fighting after...

I broke out in tears and we hugged? Yes, we did.

So, what are we going to do now?

Find a way to stop this curse, and maybe see who is the big baddy?

Sounds good. I'm going to wash up a bit.

Alright.

As Rarity made her way to the shower, Pinkie Pie woke up, drooling.

About time you woke up. Last night, I practically read up that there is going to be a time skip later on in this story.

When is it? Pinkie Pie asked as she stretched herself out.

No way I'm saying. Spoilers!

Well, if the romance tag is any indication, somepony's gonna fall in love.

Once again, spoilers.

Yeah, I thought it was to be mine, and maybe with tacos.

I could go for tacos, and frittatas!

Right now, we speak about what happened.

When Pinkie Pie looked around, she then trotted to the kitchen, awaking Rainbow Dash.

"Mmm..."

"Oh, Dashie. You're awake." Pinkie whispered.

"Yeah Pinkie, I'm awake."

"Good, I'mma go make breakfast. You wanna help?"

"Nah, I'd rather wait." Rainbow said a bit nervously.

"Okie dokie lokie." Pinkie saluted and then hopped into the kitchen.

So, I'm guessing that you're mentally scarred from what I did to that gryphon?

Yeah, even I know that was overkill!

Necessary evils, he was going to be a major threat to us all, and he sucker punched David out.

Speaking of which...

Rainbow stretched herself and looked around for Rarity. When she heard showering noises and Spike waiting by the bathroom door with a lovesick look on his face, it became obvious.

I'm guess I'll talk to her in the afternoon then.

Right, maybe with others too.

Good idea.

Rainbow looked around to find something that'll help pass the time.

"Aha." Rainbow flew over to a seemingly random book and grabbed it.

I didn't take you for the reading type.

I'm more of an action novel kinda girl. The latest Daring Do book is here!

Daring Do? I guess I'll find out what it's about soon.

Yeah! Rainbow opened the book and began to read it. Meanwhile, Applejack was waking up. She looked around and saw an awkward sight.

He, Ah bet Twi and Fluttershy are gonna have an awkward mornin'.

The one good thing about being in mind, is that I am always drunk. Nikolai belched and said, You say something?

Nikolai, honestly, if yer weren't a voice right now, Ah'd kick your flank so hard...

HAHAHA! Oh wait, you were serious? Let me laugh harder, HAHAHAHA!

GRRR!

Applejack got over her annoyance and found that there was a good smell coming from the kitchen, so she got up, put on her stetson and went to the kitchen to find Pinkie cooking.

"Whatcha cookin' Pinkie?"

"Some pancakes." Pinkie answered.

Fucking A!

Oo! Pancakes!

I'll have mine with blueberries.

"Sounds good." Applejack said, finding a newspaper and taking a look at it. There was a headline that caught her attention.

Hey hey, we are famous now! That calls for drink.

Yeah, yeah. Ya think yer so tough by coming in late and just barely saved the day.

And killed assload of zombies.

If we're separated, Ah'll make ya talk more appropriately.

Ohh, I am so...

Ah learned where yer sensitives are.

Nikolai became silent. He valued his balls more than any of his wives.

That's what Ah thought.

While Applejack was reading the paper and Pinkie cooking breakfast, Twilight and Fluttershy woke up, and found out something embarrassing.

"Oh, Twilight, I..."

"It's okay Fluttershy, maybe later we'll look back and laugh at this."

Fluttershy was silent, before finally smiling. "Maybe."

Good save, Twilight.

Thank you Harry.

Twilight looked around to see that Rainbow was reading, and Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity were nowhere in the main area.

My guess, Rarity's in the shower, while Pinkie and Applejack are in the kitchen. Twilight thought as she hopped down, walked towards the kitchen, and saw Pinkie set up some pancakes on the table while Applejack was reading the paper. Twilight smiled.

"Good morning girls."

"Mornin' Twilight." Applejack answered.

"Good morning Twilight! Wasn't last night just super-tacular?" Pinkie said in her usual bubbly tone.

"Sure was." Twilight said. "Let me see the paper, Applejack."

"Sure thing, Twi."

At that point, Rarity came in with Spike, gaining the notice of most of the mares.

"Morning girls." Rarity said.

The rest answered, Spike with a little lovesickness.

He sounds like a kid, isn't his infatuation with you...

Silly? Yes, but he's just a young one. Better to let them dream, rather than shatter them.

I can agree to that.

Yes, indeed.

Fluttershy and Rainbow came in soon after smelling the pancakes. Twilight then widened her eyes in an attempt to seem ignorant of what was happening to her.

"'Strange bipedal creatures help save Equestrian-Changeling negotiators from terrorist attack!' The princess is usually the representative! Oh, I hope she's alright."

"Don't cha worry Twi, this paper said that those 'creatures' saved the princess and actually helped with makin' them work together. They seem suspicious, but they're alright with me if they know who's good an' who's not." Applejack said.

"OH, I wonder if they like parties!"

Only if there's booze and mexican.

In other words, gin and vodka, tacos and burritos, etcetera.

That I can do, if we separate.

And when I'm out of this spandex-wearing moron's head, I'll finally ask that Rainbow maned pony out to a date.

Spandex-wearing moron! My suit is a brand-new poly-carborane compound that is breathable, dumbass!

What about the moron bit?

Don't mind, happens a lot.

Wierd.

"Well, girls!" Rainbow started off. "I bet I can take them on!"

Even on full nerf, she's not gonna win.

"Well, who cares right now! They're good, and so are these pancakes. Dig in, everypony!"

Breakfast went on without much of a hitch. The group separated a soon after and went home to do whatever they needed to do.

Fluttershy had went to her cottage and gave her animal friends their regular treatments, Angle especially.

I always liked nature.

Oh, me too! The animals are always so nice to me.

That reminds me, what is with the butterflies on your flank?

Oh, that's my cutie mark.

Cutie mark?

What every pony gets when they discover their special talent.

Really, it does seem to make sense from what I've seen so far.

Oh yes, of course.

Fluttershy wondered if she could have thoughts without Link hearing. That would make some things so much more easy for her. For now however, all she could do is look ahead and hope that this curse is broken, and she could finally meet her crush truly face to face, and maybe tell him as well.

Rainbow Dash had got her assignment for the day, partly cloudy, so she began to clear the skies for today's weather.

You're going pretty fast.

Fastest flyer in Equestria!

I knew someone as fast as you.

Really now.

Yeah, he was my partner, before getting horribly scarred.

Oh no! Rainbow Dash thought as she missed a cloud, making her turn around and hit it.

And a long time after that, he was convinced to go back to being a bad guy again.

What! Why?

I don't know. I heard him say something about a 'Havik' making him know that 'the Black Dragon Clan' was going to rise again! before he up and left me.

Well, did you try to stop him?

I told him to stop, but he was too deep in. I knew he was evil now.

If my friends turned on me...

Then they aren't your friends anymore. I learned that the hard way. Stryker thought as he remembered being beaten within a inch of his life by Kabal. He was just glad Kabal didn't use his hookswords during that fight.

Rainbow was silent, she had finished her job, then looked near the sun. She could only look ahead and hope that Stryker would stop this evil tyrant, if at all possible.

Pinkie Pie hopped over to Sugarcube Corner to start her day job again. Wade was just humming the Spiderman theme song, adding his own lyrics occasionally for top billing. He then gave a sigh.

Why must you make me so bored during the day?

I dunno? If it'll make you feel better, I'll sing!

You made me so happy!

I am so glad! Oh look, we're here!

Pinkie dashed into Sugarcube Corner, and soon was at the cash register.

Shall we wait?

Yep. And we'll look ahead and hope that you get out of my head and go out being awesome!

Title drop for the win!

YEAH!

Applejack was working the fields of apple trees as she usually did during the summer, keeping the ones not so ripe watered while making sure the apples that were ripe were harvested. Needless to say, it actually seemed to become faster somehow.

Sooner you finish, sooner you can prepare for Nikolai to come out.

Of course, Nikolai making manual labor glorified might have contributed to Applejack's hard work. After a few good hours of working, she decided that a break was well earned, and went back to the farmhouse.

So, Nikolai. Why are ya so focused on equality?

It is Communist Manifesto, to abhor capitalism and make everyone work with what they are good with. I am carpenter and pig farmer.

Really now, well that just sounds alright with me Nikolai. What is this... Communist Manifesto?

Well... As Nikolai explained how ideas of communism, Applejack noted some things that works with her, and some things that she would hate. Overall, it was something that could work with her entire family, but on the scale of Equestria, not so much. She was careful not to note that last part to him. Now Applejack was more focused on making Nikolai get out her head. She would just look ahead and hope that would happen.

I need drink.

Shut up!

Twilight was reading up on ancient prophecies but could not find anything on what was happening. She seemed stuck, until...

Maybe send a letter to the princess. That'll get her to send you that scroll.

That is... absolutely perfect! If anypony knows more about what is happening, it's her! Twilight grabbed some parchment and quills, but soon realized something.

But wait, what if Spike get suspicious?

What do you usually send a letter for?

For friendship reports, wh... Friendship reports, THAT'S IT!

What's a...

No time, I had learned something earlier, and I'll attach the personal message as well. Twilight said to Harry as she wrote down a letter.

Today, I remembered that looks can be deceiving, and some ponies are not so bad when you get to know them, even if they seem scary. I believe that when you really get to know these ponies on a personal level, you'll learn more than you thought you could learn from them.

P.S.: The humans need the scroll you have, please send it over.

After checking and double checking, Twilight was satisfied with this letter. She then trotted over to Spike.

"Spike, please send this friendship report over to Princess Celestia for me."

"You got it Twilight!" Spike said as he grabbed the scroll and breathed magical fire onto it. The scroll's ashs went with the wind as it flew out the window.

"Great, thanks Spike."

"No prob Twi."

Twilight was now ecstatic, soon, she would have the scroll soon and learn more about this prophecy. She just had to look ahead and hope that nothing will go wrong.

Rarity had began to work on her dresses after getting home. Her imagination however was near bursting proportions. By the time she decided to take a break and look around...

"Oh my, 8 wonderful dresses in 3 hours! That rarely happens to me!"

Maybe the fact that we don't fight anymore helps.

True.

Rarity looked at the dresses she made and double checked them. She was very proud of her work and smiled. David however was quiet.

"What's wrong?"

I just feel less free now that we're together.

Rarity had a thoughtful look. Well, if we separate, you can move around, and when you need to rest up, you can stay with me!

Sounds good.

Rarity smiled and looked out the window. The only thing she could do is look ahead and hope that it all ends soon and life goes back to normal.

"If only things were so simple."

Amen.

Rarity looked at the material for her dresses and smiled.

"Time to work."

"Maître, we have reports of the surprise attack on the peace treaty!"

"Really, what have you got?"

"It was a major failure."

"WHAT! HOW?"

"There was a creature that we never even knew existed. He was nearly invincible, and when we stopped him, five others stopped us."

"Failure is not to be tolerated, dumbass pleutre!"

"But that wasn't the worst, these creatures had wiped out most of our troops. Only troops #2912, #905, #115, and myself survived the bloodbath."

The leader stayed silent. "You are no longer useful then." The leader took out his sword and approached the failed troop.

"Wait, no! Don't! Für die Liebe der Götter, nicht!" The soldier's word fell on deaf ears, as his head was grabbed and his throat slit. He fell to the floor and bleed out.

"Kill the rest of the failures." Ordered the leader to another troop, who just nodded and left. The leader then looked at a profile and stamped it, FAILED ATTEMPT ON LIFE!

Intermission: Missed and Loved

"What do you mean that Deadpool just disappeared like that?!?! He cannot teleport!" Nick Fury, director of S.H.I.E.L.D, said in an angry tone.

"Director Fury, if I must! Wade W. Wilson did indeed disappear a few days ago for no reason. We have a recording." Said the investigation agent, entering some code to view the recording. Nick walked forward to the screen and noted a few things, hearing sound as well.

"Ahh, the pain is here somehow!" The recording Deadpool said as he dropped to his knees. He then noted a glow growing brighter.

Nick was now more understanding of what happened, he knew Deadpool wasn't going to be found soon.

Shao Khan walked up the pile of bodies and gave an evil grin. He had taken over Earthrealm and had been given Chaosrealm without a fight. Apparently, he was a popular ruler in the realm of chaos. He turned his head to the next portal to the next realm, Seido.

He looked in to see many Seidian Guard lined up in orderly rows, ready to defend their realm to the very end.

"Pathetic." Shao Khan said with little feeling. He looked over to the Tarkatan leading the charge, who just nodded. He then turned to see his army actually be engorged with Chaosrealmers arming up for battle. He knew one thing too.

"My army, let us take Seido, and soon, all the realms as well!"

Cheers broke out in the crowd as they approached the portal, Shao Khan laughing as they did so.

"Soon, they'll all bow to me, Shao Khan!"

A zombie was stumbling around, not really paying attention to anything around him.

"GRRAH!"

The zombie turned its head towards a noise.

It began to ran. Faster and faster. In the end however...

"SAM!"

It was foolish to do so.

"OHH! Take that, dumbass!" Tank said as he fought off the zombies trying to break into the bus they were driving. He, Takeo and Samantha were gathering objects that would allow revenge on Richtofen to be so sweet. They were having a blast with their new weapons too.

"DIE!" Takeo said.

"Heh, Nikolai would have enjoyed this." Dempsey said.

"That drunk? I don't want him to join us." Samantha said as she smashed a zombie off with a shield she made out of a car door, and some duct tape.

"Yeah, well... He still owes me a drink, so when we kill Richtofen, we find the drunk."

"I can agree to that pran Dempsey, but you'rr have to do it after the we fight." Takeo said.

"Alright." Dempsey turned to see zombies had broken through the back. Dempsey took out a KSG-12. "Time to die, assmaggot-SHITFACES!"

Ginny was crying her eyes out. Her husband just disappeared for no reason and she had no one that could find him. She never felt so horrible. Her brothers came to comfort her.

"Don't worry Ginny, Harry's probably still okay.. After all, he's been through worse." Ronald Weasley said to comfort his sister.

George nodded at his brother. "Yeah, it's not like Harry is dead like that, is he?"

"No." Ginny said, shaking her head as she did so.

"That's right! I betcha he's still kicking it somewhere! Just you wait."

Ginny could only nod, she was skeptical, but did she have a choice.

"I want to be alone." Ginny said. The brothers knew what she meant and left the room. She then grabbed a pillow near her and sobbed into it.

Zelda had been waiting on her throne. She had seen Link, the man who single-handedly stopped Ganondorf from taking over Hyrule with a iron fist, disappear without a trace. She noticed a search party come in and bow.

"Your highness! We have not found Link yet."

"Did you check Zora's Domain?"

"Yes, but we haven't checked Snowpeak Mountain, for obvious reasons."

"Check there, and you may come back early if you are close to dying in the snow. Understand?"

"Yes, Queen!"

"Good! Find Link!"

The guards bowed and left, one of them tripping a little as he did. Zelda sighed at their incompetence, but they were the only men who would find Link, no trouble. That is until...

"The queen is not willing to... Hey, get back here!"

Zelda looked at who would barge into her throne and saw four subjects, one of which was a woman. Zelda raised an eyebrow, she swore she seen them before. The apparent leader of the group stepped forward.

"Your highness! My name is Auru!"

"Auru?" Zelda now knew why he was familiar. "Guards, stand down! I wish to speak to them, alone."

The guards, who were already ready to attack, stood down and left. Zelda got off her throne and walked towards Auru.

"You may speak."

David's parents were extremely sad. One moment, David was learning. The next, he disappeared, out of thin air. They could not believe it, but multiple students and the teacher saw what happened. David's mother was especially hit.

"I'll get it." David's step-father said, getting up to get the door. When he opened it, he saw a police officer.

"Mister Lee, I afraid your son might be gone for good." The officer said morbidly.

"What? So you're saying that you're just gonna say my son is dead?!"

"I afraid so. I'm so sorry." The officer closed the door and left. David's step-father punched the wall in anger, creating a sizeable hole in it. He knew one thing so far.

I know you're alive somewhere, you can't just die like that for no reason.

He slowly walked to where his wife was crying, after dressing his broken hand of course.

David was in the mind of Rarity, before having a random thought.

Hey, I wonder how my family is doing?

Probably worried sick, we need to stop this evil as soon as we can!

Right, I only wish I knew what we're going against.

Don't worry, I'm sure that you can handle it.

Yep.

The Rarity looked at her dresses and nodded.

"Perfect."

Author's Notes:

Arc 1 (Arrival and Settling) over.

Mission Possible

Things were boring for the six humans. Link and Harry were exploring the town, Nikolai and Deadpool were drinking in Sweet Apple Acres, away from prying eyes, and David and Stryker were exploring the countryside in the 'Super-Lamborghini.' Needless to say, it was a quiet evening.

The next song played in the playlist.

"You like?" David asked.

"Of course." Stryker said.

This is good.

This is bitchin'!

Bitchin'? Didn't think you ponies swore.

What adult pony doesn't swear from time to time?

Touche.

"This is the radio edit though." David pointed out.

"Alright, what's next?"

"Hmm..." David thought about it, and went with something.

The beat began to play

Another deadmau5 song?

Nope!

What is.. you have quite vulgar tastes.

Yep!

A build-up began, the synths built up as the song's name repeated in increasing volume.

I guess this is the last set?

Yep!

This is even better! It more my mood!

Why even argue with something that's a fact.

Awesome!

You like it, so I won't complain.

"This is the Wolfgang Gartner remix of Sorry for Party Rocking, by LMFAO. You like it, Stryker?"

"It's okay, not really my real type of music."

"Whatever, lets see how fatass is doing."

"You really hate Nikolai, don't you?"

"Yep."

You and me both. He is absolutely disgusting!

When was the last time he took a shower, 9 years ago?

Maybe longer, UGH!

The two humans drove straight to Sweet Apple Acres where they saw the two men get drunk, or at least Deadpool was trying to.

"Man, can't I get drunk and watch Teletubbies while I embarrass myself in front of Blind Al?" Deadpool remarked.

"I don't know. Is Blind Al a man?"

"No, woman."

Nikolai was silent for a few seconds before saying, "MILF?"

"GMILF."

"Okay. Nikolai can hit that... If she is still hot."

"Yeah." Deadpool looked to see a familiar car waiting for them.

"Look, my pick-up's here Nick, I better go."

"Okay, bye you magnifi..." Nikolai then felt a familiar churning feeling in his stomach. He stood up and went behind the tree. Seconds later, a belch, some lights, and he came back with a scroll.

"I guess that means work time." Nikolai said.

"Sweet!" The two rushed to the car, and went in.

"Hey, David! Take this!" Nikolai said, giving David a scroll. He opened it and read it.

David crumpled the scroll, tossed it in the glove compartment and drove off.

"What was the letter?" Stryker asked.

"A new mission, she better have a good one."

"Why are we doing these jobs for her?" Nikolai asked.

"Easy, funding. You apparently use it for alcohol, but the rest of us use it for more long term... uses."

You mean investments.

Right, thanks!

Don't think a thing about it.

"Well," Deadpool started off. "I bet this adventure is going to take a Mistershield and split us up for once."

"Mister-what now?" Stryker said.

"Mistershield, you know, writes Humans Assemble, Author made suggestions for that story with Eddie Riggs, Ryu, and BLU Spy, the last one in the story for sure."

Stryker just sat there, with a blank look on his face.

"Nevermind." Deadpool said, crossing his arms in disappointment.

David saw two figures near the outskirts and knew they were who he was looking for. After a few moments, he stopped in front of Link and Harry with a skid. Harry rolled his eyes, already used to David's antics. Link was more focused on the vehicle, this would make carriages obsolete in Hyrule if this were recreated, for sure. The two entered the car and David drove off to Canterlot.

"So, what is it?" Harry asked.

"A job, we're going to Canterlot." David responded, putting on some glam metal.

"Hmm..."

What is it?

The princess is more willing to let us do more... dirty jobs than others.

From what I saw, David practically gave out a bloodbath.

He seems to be violent man. I wonder why. This is a good song though.

Yeah, I like it.

David was approaching the castle and decided to go straight for it. He drove along the cliffside. Stryker noticed.

"Umm, David... Are you..."

David just looked at Stryker, and smirked and drove along the cliff.

"DAVID!"

David went faster and eventually drove off, aimed for a stained glass window of Luna's return. The five humans panicked, but Nikolai was making the most noises.

Celestia looked to see a familiar vehicle crash through the window of her throne room. She facehooved.

Clearly, he ignored that last tidbit of information I gave him. She calmly trotted to the car and saw the group get out. Most of them were clearly shaken up from the 'accident' David caused.

"You know, I have to pay for these property damages." Celestia said.

"And I said to take it out of my pay. Now, tell us what is important."

Celestia nodded and motioned for the guards to move the car out. She then spoke.

"There are actually a few thing I need you to do."

"A few?" Deadpool said.

Oh hey, you were right.

I'm now scared.

Me too.

"Yes Wade, and so, I need you six to split into pairs."

David raised an eyebrow and looked at the other five. He could choose his new best friend to be his partner, but instead.

"Link, you want to team up?"

Link looked at David with a curious look.

Why me, and not Stryker?

I don't know.

Link nonetheless nodded. Stryker was surprised that David didn't choose him first.

"Yo, Copta! You wanna join me in asskicking?"

Stryker looked at who talked, Deadpool, and thought about it.

"Why not." He said.

"I am guessing that leaves Harry and me to do, shit." Nikolai said before taking a drink of vodka. Harry looked at the other four humans with a look that said 'Seriously guys?'.

"I believe so." Celestia said. "Now, David, Link. I have reason to believe that my niece and ruler of the Crystal Empire, Queen Mi Amore Cadenza is in danger and needs help. I believe you two should go."

"Okay, north was it?" David said.

"Yes. Nikolai, Harry. I have heard report of my subjects getting harassed in Appleloosa by Diamond Dogs. You two might be of some help."

"How are we getting there?" Harry asked.

"You'll take a midnight train there."

"Oh good! I hate flying. It is reason why I didn't join air force." Nikolai said.

Celestia nodded in understanding, then turned to Stryker and Wade.

"As for you two, Las Pegasus has had some recent rises in larceny cases. You two should find out why."

"No worries, my job deals with domestic issues. Larceny and the whatnot are nothing new to me." Stryker said.

"Good! You six will depart immediately, Stryker and Deadpool will go via chariot. Nikolai and Harry, here is a decree that'll allow you on the train and back. David and Link, you have that 'car', right?"

"Yes."

"Good! You understand what you need to do?"

The humans nodded.

"Excellent. You may leave now."

The humans soon left. Celestia looked out the window and realized something.

"Oh my, I think they should have some things for tonight after all."

David and Link were driving over to the Crystal Empire. Link was looking at the contraption Celestia had given him. David glanced over and began to talk.

"Those are night-vision goggles. They allow you see in the dark."

Link looked at David with confusion.

Goggles that can see in the dark, I don't believe it. Link thought, shaking his head.

"You know, I don't use 'em either. It makes me see all green, I don't like that."

Link raised an eyebrow, but understood. He did know some subtle differences in certain shades of green. He looked to see the kingdom coming up.

"Must be that Crystal Empire or something. Get ready." David said as he put on a song. Link merely shook his head.

He's a crazy man. But he's our crazy man.

He's a nice guy when you get to know him on a personal level, right?

Indeed.

David drove over a rock and was now in the Crystal Empire. David U-turned and drove next to the guards next to the entrance of the empire. David showed them the decree from Celestia for a few dozen seconds, and they nodded, clearly confused, but not showing it. David drove off to the castle and smirked.

"Something will go horribly right today Link, I just know it!"

Link looked at David.

Doesn't he mean horribly wrong?

Even I can't tell anymore.

Nikolai was drinking in his seat and looked over to Harry, who was looking out the window with a look on his face.

"Hey, what is wrong Harry?"

"I, just miss my wife." Harry said in a solemn tone.

"So, I have lost 9 wives, and look at me."

Harry looked at Nikolai and noted a few things: he smells bad, he has a drinking problem, and he is covered in blood.

"Right, look at you."

Using yerself as an example was a really bad idea, Nikolai.

Fuck you!

Applejack just sighed. Nikolai was not going to have a good life ahead of him with his drinking habit.

"Well," Nikolai started off. "what about the killing? When are doing that?"

"The princess said it'll be about 30 minutes until we reach the town about 10 minutes ago." Harry responded.

"Okay, that means we drink!"

"No, I don't want to drink."

"Okay, more for Nikolai." Nikolai then proceeded to take a few gulps of vodka.

And pass out drunk. Harry looked at Nikolai and sighed.

Great, as if loneliness wasn't enough.

Now we have a passed out drunk.

Harry proceeded to find something to wake the drunk up. He had 20 minutes so time was of the essence. Twilight did notice something else about Harry.

You know, we never found out what changed about you. Link got that ocarina, but even he didn't know why it should have been used.

I know, it is strange. I guess I haven't used my magic much, maybe it relates to that.

We can only wait and see, I guess.

Yep. Harry had grabbed a bottle of vodka from the trains cooking deck, left some bits and went back to where Nikolai was. Once he sat down, he grabbed the cork.

This better work.

I'm going to ask that mare out!

How? You're stuck in this insane man's mind.

Yo mother!

That' not even a response to what I said.

Yo father!

Just, just stop.

That's what she said.

Deadpool laughed out loud. Stryker looked at the mercenary.

"Thought of something funny?" Stryker asked.

"Yeah, that's what she said." Deadpool replied, laughing. Stryker was not amused.

That's not funny. Not at all.

Nope. This chariot is definitely stable in these winds.

Yeah, the reason is...

Heyo!

What the! Who are you?

Name's Yellow Caption Box, you wanna go on a date?

NO! I don't even know you!

Come on!

No.

Come on.

No.

Come on sexy!

OWW! WAHH! WAHH!

Wimp, he left.

The hell was that about?

"Stryker, why are you looking confused? I mean, I know I'm crazy but I'm not doing any..."

AHHH! AHHH!

What is it?

I asked her out, and she slapped me! Hooves hurt a lot more than hands. WAHH!

Oh, come here. MMWHA!

Thanks, I feel better already.

Yep.

Wanna go out again?

Don't push it, touchy.

Aww.

Deadpool just stood there with a bored look under his mask. "Nevermind, looks like we are here and HOLY CRAP, THIS IS SIN CITY!"

Stryker raised an eyebrow and looked over. He saw lights and neon all over the place. Casino and bars and hotels.

The pony equivalent of Las Vegas! Jackpot!

The two high-fived and were now anxious to get over to Las Pegasus to find out the larceny cases, and maybe hit the blackjack tables too.

"Master! We are now ready to strike!"

"Wunderbar! Go out and perform the mission or..." The leader turned to the grunt. "Si auspica che si mai nati."

The grunt gulped. Tuer la Grève 782 were known for their multilingual skills. But sometimes, it becomes a more powerful threat when spoken in another language.

"Do I make myself clear?" The leader said.

"Yes! I will give the green light."

"Excellent."

The leader was willing to accept that these humans killed some of his troops, but he won't accept that they were going to stop him every time.

Soon, they'll all fall to me! The leader laughed and laughed. There was evil in the laughter and it showed, that Tuer la Grève 782 was willing to die for their cause.

Laughter.

Author's Notes:

Arc 2 (Missions and Tests)

Stission Mart

Shining Armor and his wife, Cadence were in the throne room. After somepony was discovered trying to poison their food, they been worried that somepony wants them dead. They knew that Princess Celestia would help them, Shining Armor was the ex-captain of the royal guard and Cadence was Celestia's niece. And they heard that some new elite group was formed for the purpose of protection services. Shining Armor was still skeptical.

"What's wrong Shining?" Cadence asked with worry in her voice, obvious.

"I don't really know if these 'elite guards' will be able to protect us. I mean, we don't even know if they are ponies or even if they are even bitter changelings in disguise."

Cadence rolled her eyes and walked to her husband. "Don't worry Shining, if my aunt is trusting them, then I do. She is a smart pony."

Shining Armor still skeptical, but he knew that Cadence had a point.

"Alright, I just wondering wh..."

"What the..."

"Guards, find out what that..."

The doors were kicked open, revealing two bipedal figures, one clad in green and the other one had glasses. Shining Armor, Princess Cadence and some guards in the room were ready for combat. The glasses-wearing figure walked forward and spoke.

"Hey, is that any way to say hello to your new bodyguards?"

Shining Armor was confused, until this creature showed him a familiar decree. Shining Armor looked at it and then did it again, and again. Once it became brutally clear that these two were the new bodyguards, he stood down. He had to know a few things first.

"What are your names?"

"I'm David and that guy's Link, and we're humans."

Okay, two questions down... "Why are you here?"

"Hell if I know, I just am." Said David.

You just are? Seem suspicious. "Well, tell me what really happened at the Changeling negotiations."

"A bloodbath for a terrorist organization, I don't remember their names."

"Tuer la Grève 782." The man known as Link said.

"Right, thanks Link. He doesn't speak much, only when necessary."

Shining Armor nodded, but he knew if Tuer la Grève 782 was involved, that would mean that Celestia is in trouble.

"So, you ready to see how I do my job, and how Link does his?" David asked.

"Of course, just please... please don't go overboard." Cadence said.

"No promises." David said as he went to the doors outside.

"Aren't you..."

David just went out for a few minutes, before coming in, before pushing in a massive machine. Shining Armor raised an eyebrow, but knew one thing.

This'll be one heck of an evening.

"We are now at Appleloosa!"

"Finally! Я становился надоевшим!" Nikolai said. He had woken up earlier when Harry popped open the cork to a bottle of vodka and immediately grabbed it to drink. The strange duo walked out of the train and looked at where they were.

"Huh, seems like a stereotypical American western town." Harry noted.

"That means that... Hell yeah! VODKA!"

"Nikolai," Harry said, grabbing Nikolai's shirt to pull towards himself. "We must find out what to do about these 'diamond dogs' first."

"Do we have to? It seems like much work."

Says the man who values hard work more than other work.

Are you saying that Nikolai is hypocritical? "I was just joking Harry, I want to kick ass, while drunk!"

"Fine, Let's go."

"Alright, let me check money. Come on... Ah fuck, that stripper is going to be dead when I get back home."

I don't even want to know.

"Well, I guess..."

An explosion brought upon a west side saw two figures fly towards them. After a few minutes, the figures landed in front of them, a buffalo and a pony. And Nikolai noted something was off between them. He looked down and then stared blankly.

"Nikolai, are you okay?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I guess." Nikolai answered. "Look down."

Harry raised an eyebrow, did so, and regretted it.

Is that mah cousin Braeburn, with Little Strongheart?

The drunk human didn't answer, instead, he looked at his bottle of vodka, and downed the whole drink. Harry just stared blankly. Braeburn looked at the two humans and nervously chuckled.

"He he, howdy. Welcome to Appleloosa... hah hah hooohh."

Nikolai finished drinking, and then gave mighty belch.

My brain am damaged now, thank you.

Same here.

Stryker and Deadpool looked at the map of recent larceny cases from the portfolio they had received from the royal guard there. They did note one thing.

"It seems that these crimes don't really steal money, more like supplies." Stryker pointed out.

"What kind?" Deadpool asked.

"Tools and nails, the sort of stuff you'd need to build something."

"Building? Who would need to steal to build something?"

You did it a few times before.

Yeah, you even stole from Norman Osborn's credit card to pay for Taskmaster's services.

How is that related to what we just said?

I thought we were talking about stealing.

Yeah right, that's not even a good thing to talk about anyway.

Fine. You have a sexy a...

"Hey, guys! I think I know how to handle this."

"How Wade?" Stryker asked.

"We find a pattern, predict the next case, then beat the hell out of those stealers when we jump 'em!"

Stryker just looked at the merc. "So, you mean a stakeout?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright, I don't see any reason not to."

The two shook hands and went on to find a pattern in the crime wave.

If seeing a species you never even know existed kicked down your door, walked to you menacingly and said that he was going to be your bodyguard would make you worry, then Shining Armor was justified in having even more worries about the humans then the assassins. It becomes more apparent when one sharpens his sword away from the other who is playing strange music from his contraption. Needless to say, they were wondering what Celestia was thinking. Link looked at his sword, twirled it a few times, then sheathed it. Cadence looked at her husband and talked.

"Shining, I know Celestia means best, but was it really smart to send these two over here?"

"Now Cadence, they may seem strange, well at least the one with glasses is, but if Celestia sent them here, then she must know something will go right."

David walked towards the two and spoke. "Besides, would you rather have a drunk and a wizard, or a cop and a certifiably insane mercenary?"

Shining noted that each had a good choice and a bad choice. He guessed a man with strange habits and a swordsman was better than the other choices, so he nodded.

"Good! I'll check the roof!"

"Now why would you..."

"No time! Leaving!" David said as he jumped through the window and grabbed a vine along the wall to climb the wall.

"That human is crazy." Cadence said, getting a nod from everyone in the room.

So far, everything seemed to out of the ordinary for the couple, but then again, when was Equestria normal?

Nikolai and Harry were at the apple fields that seemed to have these heckling diamond dog attacks after getting about 10 gallons of mind bleach and using it all.

"So, this is where stupid dogs are."

"Diamond dogs... I wonder why they would just attack random ponies and kidnap them."

"Slave labor?" Nikolai offered. Harry didn't want it to be so, but...

"That might be so, we have to find the way to them."

"How about hole next to us?"

Harry looked to see a hole literally next to the two. Harry was now getting more and more surprised.

How the bloody hell does he notice these things and I don't?

I don't know, stupid luck?

Harry shook his head, this place was bloody weird. Small wonder he hasn't snapped yet.

The two jumped in and were encompassed with darkness.

"It is dark down here." Nikolai pointed out.

Thank you fer pointin' out the obvious.

You are bitch, like first wife.

Harry just lit up his wand in response. What he saw just made his eye twitch.

"Oh come on! There are multiple paths!"

"Wow, I need drink." Nikolai said as he took a gulp of vodka.

This will end badly.

"Wade, you sure we should be hiding like this?"

"Yes, be quiet, except for the head voices."

"Fine."

The duo were in front of where they thought the next case of larceny was going to be disguised as trees in a clearly treeless city, but Deadpool was insane enough to think it up as a disguise.

This guy is out of his gourd.

Totally.

Luna was pacing back and forth in the throne room. Unlike Celestia, she had doubts about the capableness of the six humans. But she knew that she had no say in this, so she just looked out the now being repaired window.

"When you make a major mistake, so help me, I will banish you humans."

And with that, she left to the castle spa to relax. She would need to after what happened so far.

Men of Action: Part Only

David was standing on the top of the castle. He wanted to get a good look outside. David breathed in the cold mountain air and exhaled slowly.

"Ahh, this is the life."

You seem to like the night.

I do, I always prefered cold weather.

Huh, I never would have guessed.

Better believe it.

You seemed to be the kind of man who goes around randomly as well.

I like to do things without reason, always have.

Sounds like you'd get along with Pinkie Pie well.

David just smiled. He never would have expected to become friends with a voice in his head. He looked to see some shadows moving. He raised an eyebrow and decided to summon a dagger. He hopped off the building and dug the blade into the wall, slowing his descent.

The blade snapped and David fell about 100 feet down to the ground. All he could think was this.

Shit.

Link perked his head up and looked out the window. He saw a writhing David on the ground outside the castle, and immediately went outside. When he got to the superhuman, he noted that David was already getting up.

"That's it, I'll never use blades for anything besides hurting jerk-offs again!" David said, bending backwards and receiving a gratifying and audible pop in his back. Link deadpanned and went back inside.

Why even bother with him?

Because you care for him.

Yes, I guess I do. But he is so... Link tried to think of a word to describe David.

Moronic... I mean, if that works, I mean.

No, he's more naive, if not incredibly arrogant.

Well, how would you react if you were in his shoes?

Link found himself being thoughtful. What if he had the power that David had: incredible strength, increased stamina, and the ability to summon any weapon he could wish for, at just a thought. He then thought of what he got, as he took out the ocarina that somehow got in his bag of gear.

Could this instrument actually be a powerful force?

Link looked at it glimmer in the moonlight. He tried to think of a song, and played it.

David looked at the man playing the ocarina and said, "Yeah, that's okay for a beginner, but you should practice. It really sounds..." David stopped and just left it at that. Link simply glared at David, but it made sense, he never played an ocarina before.

"Hey, I just realized something, I saw something sneaking around here."

"Really?" Shining Armor asked. "What was it?"

"Well, I think it was a..."

"Tuer la Grève 782, CAPTURE THE LEADERS!"

"Not again..." David said, faceplaming.

Harry and Nikolai were traveling in the dark tunnels under Appleloosa. One thing they were able to do was find a path to the diamond dogs, Nikolai had a better sense of smell than Harry thought and the two soon found them, among other things.

"Woof, Work faster!" A diamond dog said, whipping his whip at the many slave ponies in the mine.

"Those sons of bitches," Nikolai whispered. "all should be free, even if it is capitalist system."

Harry nodded and prepared to cast a spell, but Nikolai stopped him.

"I fought for motherland against Nazis, I have snuck around to free my brothers from those bastards. Let me handle these сыновья сук." Nikolai said, taking out his sickle, and approaching the nearest dog.

What are Nazis?

Trust me, you don't want to know half the things they did.

Fine, Nikolai actually knows what he's doing, surprisingly.

Harry looked closer at the drunk and was shocked to see him approach the slaver, sickle ready to slit it's throat.

This can only end in bloodshed... Harry thought as he readied his wand.

Stryker and Deadpool ditched their costumes after a royal guard said that they had the stupidest and most paper-thin disguises in the area. So naturally, Deadpool came up with a more believable bush design for the two, to share.

"Quit shoving." Stryker said in a hushed voice.

"We have to share, don't make Yellow Caption Box enter your mind again."

Yeah, I want another go at that rainbow maned one. Rawr.

Oh brother... Must we have to...

"Shh, we got something." Deadpool said, pointing.

There were three figures: a unicorn, a gryphon and a dog-ape thing, trying to enter a house.

"Looks like we got our culprits." Stryker said as he brought out his nightstick, patting it against his palm.

"Yep, let's beat the hell out of them for stealing."

"And breaking and entering."

"That too."

And the two sneaked out of the bush and quietly went over to the trio of thieves.

"Quick, grab the goods."

"Nails and wood, this is better than buying it!"

"I just grab the screwdrivers too..."

"We really got 'em now." Stryker said as he took out his taser and equipped it with a distance shocker.

"On three... One."

The two went to the door.

"Two."

They stood in front of it.

"THREE!"

Stryker kicked down the door and yelled, "STOP THIEVES!"

The steelers were shocked to see to creatures kick down the door, holding something, and took out crowbars to fight with.

"Big mistake." Stryker said.

David and Link drew their weapons, David using an M16A4 and Link drawing his Hero's Bow. David hit the car which made the radio activate.

"Well well, looks like a good day to die," David said in a calm tone cocking his gun. "for you foreign-ish bastards."

Shining Armor and Cadence were backing away from the humans, and then the PMC attacked.

The song had a drop and the two warriors stuck the many warriors. David's weapon was 3-round burst fire only, but he he didn't need to use anything more. A burst blew apart a PMC's head apart, revealing the bloodied brain.

"Ugh, smells like cheap tomato sauce."

Ugh, I think I'm spending too much time with you, I'm not even shocked at this.

I guess. David replaced his M16 with a RPK light machine gun, and began to fire at the PMCs while striding.

You seem to know what you're doing.

I planed on joining the military and done my research, more excessively than I should have.

David rolled towards a pillar to protect himself.

Way too excessive, definitely.

As David began to fire again, Link was shooting arrows at the soldiers, getting perfect headshots.

EEP, how are you so good at... archery?

Practice, this is self-taught you know.

You had to learn yourself?

Yes, it took me a few weeks, but I became the archer you see now.

Wow. He's so smart... How can you be mine, Link?

Link noticed a few of them not flinching at the shots. Then he realized why.

Armored, that is not good. Link ran back a bit and checked his arrow count.

60 arrows. Wait... Link checked his bombs and found that he had 60 bombs to use.

By Din's grace, I got it! Link had tied the bombs to some arrows and lit the fuse on one of them. He aimed at the most armored of them all, a Minotaur with a crossbow, pulled back, then released.

David looked at what he just saw and looked at Link.

"That some Rambo-ass bullshit there Link!" David yelled out. Link managed to block out the vulgarity, it was really unnecessary. He looked at a dragon and aimed, but then readjusted midway to aim for the mouth.

The dragon's head was now everywhere but the neck. A piece of tongue landed on David's head, and he was not amused.

"Okay then, I guess I should finish this." David said as he hit the car again, changing the song.

David summoned a six-chambered grenade launcher and aimed at a group of charging enemies.

"Lick it!" David fired a shot and hit in front of the group. They were scared at the two men now.

"RETREAT! THIS BATTLE IS HOPELESS!"

The rest of the group noted and soon left. David enjoyed it the most.

"Yeah! And don'cha come on back now, you hear!" David said in a very bad mix of his regular accent, a southern accent and a Bostonian accent. He looked at the others and said only one thing while shrugging.

"What?"

Shining Armor looked at the throne room and saw carnage everywhere. A dragon was headless and it's neck was still bleeding, multiple dead bodies, more blood than he had ever seen, and to top it all off, one of them had spelling on its chest from what seemed to be a knife that said...

Needless to say, Shining Armor lost his dinner, and was mentally scarred.

"Well, let's clean up and leave this place Link!" David said as he moved towards the dragon to drag out of the throne room. Link nodded as he picked up a body of a pegasus and moved for clean up. A guard went up to the two rulers.

"We'll clean up, you two better go rest, and look for some therapy."

The two nodded and just went to their bedroom, blank looks plastered on their faces.

"There, dog is knocked out." Nikolai said as he took a drink of vodka. Harry was surprised when sheathed his sickle and took a rock instead to take out the guard. There were three more to take care off though.

"I guess I'll follow your lead."

"Да, let us go with stealth, Nikolai likes change of pace." Nikolai said as he took a large gem and pocketed it.

Why are ya takin' that?

In case of emergency.

What emergency?

Let Nikolai work, okay Jack!

Ya know damn well Ah hate that nickname.

Blah blah blah, like second wife.

Grrr...

Nikolai had snuck up to another diamond dog and smashed his head with the rock. It made a dull thud sound, but the whipping was blocking out the noise. Nikolai dragged the diamond dog behind a rock and went up to the wizard.

"Okay, we save these ponies, then drink." Nikolai said to resummarize his plan. Harry just shook his head and grabbed a hefty rock.

I'm glad there is no killing, yet...

Why yet?

Do I even need to ask?

Harry nodded at this, it seemed that violence was inevitable for the humans. In this case, it was very lighthearted compared to the others.

The two humans snuck up to the last two diamond dogs.

"WOOF! Work faster!" The dog said raising his whip. When he swung it, he noticed something was grabbing it. He turned to see Harry holding a rock.

"What the..." He never got to finish the sentence when he got smacked in the face, knocked out cold. There were 11 ponies that had looks of terrified curiosity at the human.

"Don't worry," Harry said as he took out his wand. "I'm here to help." Harry aimed at the locks of the ponies.

"Relashio!"

The spell hit the locks and the bindings broke. The ponies smiled at this, but knew that they had to get out before they can truly relax. Nikolai had been picking the lock of a pony's chains, but a spell finished for him, so he drank instead.

"Okay, let us get out of shit hole and maybe kick dog ass. Then, we drink." Nikolai said as he finished yet another bottle of vodka. The ponies looked at the Russian with disgust and intrigue, and looked at the wizard.

"Okay, let's go."

The group of 13 soon were on their way. After about 16 minutes of wandering, they made it to an exit.

"There is exit, haul ass!" Nikolai ordered. The ponies did so quickly, but were stopped by a massive shove.

"WOOF WOOF! Why aren't you working?" The leader asked. He was a bulky dog, a black coat and a purple shirt. He had yellow eyes and had cuffs that had jewels encrusted in it. He then looked at the humans.

"Oh look, more labor. Me gonna like to use you! WOOF!"

"We're not going to submit to you." Harry said, ready to fight.

"Да, nopony should have to be anypony's bitch without a good humane reason."

Harry looked at Nikolai with a confused look. "What, can't I speak like locals?"

Harry just shook his head and aimed his wand at the dog.

"WOOF! You're going to regret that. RUFUS! FIDO! COME HERE!"

Two massive diamond dogs came to join the leader and were armed with clubs.

"Wow, air is heavy with stench of dog shit. Better fix it with gunpowder." Nikolai said as he took out an EPC WN to fight the trio.

The diamond dogs attacked.

"Aqua Eructo!" Harry had summoned a large jet stream of water against the one charging at him. The dog stumbled back and fell backwards.

Nikolai tried to fired his gun but...

"Shit, out of... ammo." A diamond dog blew a dust into Nikolai's lungs, causing him to choke.

"Nikolai! Stupefy" Harry cast the spell and hit the diamond dog that blew the dust, knocking him out. Harry then ran to the drunk and held his wand to his throat.

"Anapneo!" Nikolai took in a huge breath of air and was now ready to fight again.

"Thank you comrade Harry." Nikolai said as he reloaded.

Harry nodded as he saw a wet dog charge after him.

"Ascendio!" The spell hit the dog and launched him into the ceiling, knocking him out.

"Grr... Last time Me let lackeys fight for me. You now face me!" The leader said as he took out a massive club to fight with, and charged.

"Expelliarmus!"

A flash of light and the diamond dog is disarmed and was soon face to face with a gun.

"Meet Calamity, and Jane!" Nikolai said, holding two modified CZ75s before shooting 'Jane' at the dog's face, killing him.

"Ha ha, let us go now, and ignore this guy, then we block exit, then we drink." Nikolai said, garnering accepting murmurs from the ponies. The thirteen went out and went through the process of blocking the entrance to prevent any followers.

A earth pony royal guard was on patrol in the casino zone. He had been told that a few stallions were looking into the recent larceny cases and that they were reliable. He looked to the left to see a unicorn, a gryphon and a diamond dog, all in chains and were clearly roughed up. Leading them was a man in a strange armor, and another in what looked like a full-body spandex suit. The armored one walked up to him and handed him a chain.

"Got your thieves, write 'em up."

The guard had a skeptical look, but these guys did fit the description from eyewitnesses. "Very well, thank you." He then grabbed the chain with his mouth and proceeded to trot over to the HQ. As he did, he overheard one tidbit of information.

"Now that that's over with, GAMBLING!"

"Hell yeah, Deadpool!"

These guys are totally going to lose every bit they have.

After We Finish...

David used the radio and played one of the most unusual songs the royal couple had ever heard. David listened.

Shining Armor was confused, how could humans combine two clearly different genres together. But he knew better to question these humans. So he just listened, he never was a fan of this kind of dubstep, but the other genre he had heard and enjoyed during a vacation to a tropical area.

What was the name of the genre again?

Doesn't matter now, I just hope nothing happens again.

Ugh, the genres clash too much,

Well I like it.

I guess we'll never agree on a few things then.

Compromise!

David got in the car, his job was done and the carnage was cleaned up so no evidence was left. He motioned for Link to move into the car, which he did.

This is very strange music. Link thought.

David does seem strange.

I guess, I hope he isn't going insane.

I wouldn't discount it.

At that, David turned on the ignition, and poked his head out the window.

"Hey, Shining!"

"What?"

"You got saved from a PMC by a swordsman and a self-proclaimed insane dude! PEACE!" David finished holding his hand out with a peace sign, hitting the acceleration and burst out the throne room.

"That human is worse than King Sombra." Shining Armor said in a tired tone.

"No way!" Cadence said, garnering a look from her husband. "Okay, maybe a little."

The couple laughed and double checked everything in the room. When all was said and done, they went to bed for much needed rest.

The car ride back was mostly uneventful for Link and David. Aside from stopping near the gates and admiring the translucent ponies, they hadn't really had much to enjoy after the battle. David sighed.

"Well, I guess we go back."

"Mmm hmm." Link nodded.

"And we tell that they are safe."

"Mmm hmm."

"And..."

"What the hell!" David said. Link also seemed surprised. The two got out to see that they were out of town and saw a pony with a partially sliced horn, and an evil look overall. The car hit him hard, so David assumed that he was pretty much dead.

"Oh crap, I killed a pony! Okay," David picked up the body. "Uh, uh, I uh, CLIFF!"

Link watched with shocked amusement as David ran towards a cliff and threw the dead unicorn off the cliffside. David ran back to the car as he went back in. When they strapped themselves back in, David spoke.

"That never happened. If anyone asks, we never were at this spot. OKAY?"

Link merely nodded.

Why did that stallion look familiar?

Who cares, I killed him and didn't mean it!

I had a distinct feeling that he wasn't a nice pony though.

Whatever, I'm getting the fuck out of here!

The car went off. Meanwhile the pony threw off the cliff had some last thoughts.

Of all the stupid luck that could have come. First I lose the chance to take back the Crystal Empire, then a machine hits me, that creature I spied on, who I was sure was dead, mistakes me for being dead, and I get thrown off a cliff. How could this happen to you so badly Sombra?

He couldn't answer himself, he landed on the ground with a thud, died, and attracted some manticores as a result.

After Nikolai and Harry spent some time at the watering hole, they went to the train station and were now on the way to Canterlot. Nikolai spoke.

"Well, we killed a dog that had to be put down and Nikolai found out what was useful about gem."

"What gem?" Harry asked.

Nikolai took out a gem and showed it to Harry. "It is magical gem, it can be used like enhancement for... wizard shit."

"You mean magic."

"Magic, yes! I hope we don't have to fight again, I still need to be buzzed."

"Alright. You were a surprisingly good partner Nikolai. How did you do it?"

"Well, when I fought zombies, I was with American badass, and a German man who may or may not have thought Nikolai was sexy. Oh, and there is Japanese douchebag I hate."

"Uh huh. Sounds like you were with a crazy set of people."

"Да, but Dempsey, the badass, was real good friend. I admired his fighting skills, but not his sobriety."

Harry nodded. An American and a Soviet. I'd like to see to believe.

Isn't Deadpool one of those Americans?

I overheard him say that he was Canadian.

Oh, okay.

The two rested up. The train would take about 15 more minutes, but they could wait.

"21! Blackjack!"

"Aw yeah!" Deadpool said, taking in the chips from the game. "How much we earn?"

"We earned 150 bits, after losing 150 bits." Stryker said.

"Fine, we'll just go home, not a bit richer or a bit poorer." Deadpool said.

Like the war of 1812?

Except this is money, and that was land.

Why the history lessons for the readers?

'Cause these readers are uncultured people who only claim to be bronies. DasBoSchitt doesn't claim to be a brony, and yet he watched the show, and enjoyed it.

Ahh, I love the smell of the fourth wall shattering under our mental fists in the midnight mist.

Midnight mist?

What mid... HOLY CRAP! A FIRE!

Wade turned to see some idiot stallion drop his cigar onto an expensive fabric rug, burning it.

"Let's get the fuck out of here! FIRE!"

The ponies inside looked and saw the fire. After a few panic-filled moments, the two humans were out and about and hopped on a carriage.

"We're done, let's go to the Canterlots!" Deadpool said.

"Do you ever be quiet Wade?" Stryker asked.

"Nope! It be out of character for me to shut up."

"Fine, let's go." And with that, the two humans were on the way to Canterlot.

Celestia looked at the moon outside and nodded.

2 hours left, I wonder if they're done.

And she was answered when two men walked into the throne room. She saw who they were and spoke to them.

"Harry, Nikolai! I suppose you succeeded!"

"Yes, Nikolai especially helped." Harry said.

"Really? Well you'll have to tell me about it tomorrow when we have the time."

"Very well, where is payment?"

Celestia rolled her eyes and levitated a 6 pack of vodka bottles to Nikolai. He gave a giddy 'Hehe!' when he grabbed it.

"Thank you, this vodka is better than vodka from motherland. And no one know vodka like motherland." Nikolai said.

"Right." Celestia noted two more figures come in.

"David! Link!"

"I did... succeed in the mission." David said, stopping mid-sentence to avoid mentioning the accident.

"Okay then. Now tell me, what did you do?"

"I killed those PMC bastards, looked good and saw Link combine bombs and arrows. Pretty much the usual result of them trying to kill us, again!"

Celestia nodded, before saying, "Well, I'm sure King Sombra wasn't difficult for you then."

"King what now?" David said in a confused tone.

"Princess!" A guard came bursting in the throne room.

"What is it?"

"We found that King Sombra never attempted a second invasion, he was killed by some kind of horseless chariot a few minutes ago and thrown off a cliff before he gave the order to attack."

Celestia looked curious, while David had a look of relief.

"Oh, I guess that was me. Thank God! I thought I had killed some poor schmuck on the fields. Right Link?"

Link nodded, clearly relived as well.

"Well, you seem to have remarkable luck on your side." Celestia pointed out.

"Maybe, maybe."

As David looked out the window, Stryker and Deadpool came in.

"We did it! The thieves are under lock and key." Stryker said.

"And we found out that an idiot burned down a casino while we were there." Deadpool said.

"I didn't tell you to..."

"We were gambling." Deadpool said bluntly. Celestia nodded, not wanting to know.

"Well, I hope that you six are done, because for the next few days, you are going on vacation."

The six humans nodded, but they knew one thing was coming up.

"Thank you Cel." David said, just making up that nickname.

"I much prefer Tia, thank you David."

"Fine, Tia." David said. "Let's go guys, I feel much more better knowing I ran over a jerk-off that was supposed to invade a country and fought off a PMC with only one person helping me."

The group went out the room. As they did, Luna came back from the spa.

"Luna, how was the spa?"

"Wonderful! Tell me, what'd I miss?"

"Everything went by without a hitch. Those humans are what Equestria needed."

"Did they make a mistake?"

"David left before his job was finished, but he finished on the way here via a 'hit and run' case against King Sombra."

Luna deadpanned. "What kind of luck does that crazy man have?"

"A lot, apparently. By the way, I got us some things for stress relief."

"What is it sister?"

Celestia took out some gooey substances and gave some to her sister.

"Gak."

The Determined Cure

Twilight had 'awakened' and trotted over to the kitchen to see what's for breakfast. She had been welcomed to the smell of freshly made pancakes and hay bacon as she trotted over to the table.

"Breakfast smells good Spike!"

"Thanks Twilight! What are we going to do today?" Spike asked.

"I think we know what we're going to do today."

"Study that scroll the Princess sent you a few days ago. Please Twilight, it's just a moldy old scroll." Spike said as took a sapphire and bit into it.

"Just a moldy old scroll,"

Oh crud, not again...

"JUST A MOLDY OLD SCROLL! It is a important piece of literature that the princess want us to study. It more than a moldy old scroll Spike, and you know it."

"Fine Twilight, it's very important. Let's get it over with."

"Good!"

You know, books are not everything.

Not everything...

Oh dear...

NOT EVERYTHING!!!

Rarity was in funk, she had managed to make 8 dresses in 3 hours, but that was it. She needed help. She had an incomplete dress, but had no idea what to do to bring it to her standards. She sighed.

"Opal, any ideas?"

Opalescence shook her head, not really having any idea of what to do.

Rarity sighed once more. "I guess it'll come to me. Maybe I'll see what Fluttershy is doing."

Better that Deadpool, I think that Yellow Caption Box he calls it tried to tell me to tell Rainbow Dash he was totally into her. How'd he... it do that?

Some things I'll never get about that man, small wonder he was paired with Pinkie.

Let's go then.

Rarity nodded and trotted out the door to see her friend.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash were taking their day off together. The two were at the park.

"So Applejack, you willing to bet how long it'll be until those monkey things reach Ponyville?"

"Yeah right, Ah bet that they're pretty much everywhere."

That much is true, it's not lying at least.

Ironic, since we're here already.

"Whatever, I bet I can take them!" Rainbow said.

"Rainbow, just one held off 'bout 50 of those Merc men, just imagine what all of them can do to one of us."

Ha ha, I'm drunk... Big surprise, no?

Quiet you!

"That doesn't mean that they're tough."

"Whatever, they'll kill ya before ya even get close to them. Let's talk about something else sugarcube."

"Alright then... But I still think I can take them."

May God have mercy on your soul when you pick a fight with us.

I'd like to see you hurt me without regrets.

Fine by me.

Pinkie Pie was dashing around the kitchen, gathering ingredients for all kinds of sweets.

Like cupcakes, muffins, chimicherrychangas, donuts, etcetera, etcetera.

Yep. Pinkie thought as she began baking some cupcakes for the day.

"Now if only we had some hot sauce."

¡La salsa caliente en pasteles! ¡Eso es la mejor idea jamás!

¡Si!

Mexicano savvy.

I'm turned on.

Eww.

"Pinkie, are those cupcakes ready?"

"¡No, pero ellos casi son hechos a Sra. Cake!" Pinkie said, before realizing what she said and restated. "I mean 'No, but they're almost done Mrs. Cake!'"

Mrs. Cup Cake gave a confused look at the sudden change in language, but decided that was nothing strange by Pinkie's standards. "Alright, you finish up."

"¡SI, Senora Cake!" Pinkie said saluting and moving around to gather more baked goods ingredients. Mrs. Cake shook her head and smiled, and went to the register.

Fluttershy had given another bear a very intense massage. When she heard that Twilight saw her do that, she felt sorry for making her think otherwise for her.

"Okay Boris, this may hurt for a moment, but then it'll feel good." Fluttershy said as she pulled the arms of the bear. Very audible pops came as a result and the bear winced, before having a look of relief on his face. It roared softly in pleasure and licked Fluttershy, causing her giggle.

"Oh Boris, you are always so fun to be around. You have a good time."

'Boris' nodded and went into the forest. Fluttershy looked at all the other animals and smiled.

Job well done?

Very! Fluttershy said as she went into her cabin. She looked around to see that everything was in its own little harmonious nature. The birds were singing and the mice were eating the nuts and berries they got from some bushes out back. She went to the couch when...

"I wonder who that could be?" Fluttershy said as she went to the door. She opened it to reveal her friend.

"Rarity! Did I miss our spa date? Oh, I'm so..."

"No you didn't miss it, it isn't until Thursday, remember?"

Fluttershy stood there, until she did remembered.

"Oh, oh silly me. You want some tea Rarity?"

"Please." Rarity said as she moved towards the couch.

Hmm...

What are you doing?

Thinking, I think I can make up some more ideas for your dresses here.

Wait, why are you... helping me.

A week ago, we were fighting, badly. I just want to make it up to you.

That's very nice of you... Rarity didn't realize it, but she was blushing a bit at David sincerity. It went away shortly after, just before Fluttershy came in with the tea.

"Here you go Rarity."

"Thank you Fluttershy." Rarity said as she grabbed her tea with her magic. "I must say, we barely hang out outside the spa nowadays, I thought we'd talk a bit."

"Oh really, that's nice. Why now though?"

"Oh, I have no ideas for dresses right now. I figured I'd take a break, gather my ideas first before I work again."

"Oh, okay."

"Honestly, sometimes I'm jealous of you Fluttershy." Rarity said as she took a sip of tea.

"Really, how?"

"Well, you have such a simple life, and you manage too look so good naturally. I wish I could have a bit of your life in mine." Rarity said sincerely. Fluttershy looked at her friend and nodded.

"The thing is, I sometimes get jealous of you sometimes too Rarity."

Rarity perked up at this. "Really?"

"Yes, you have a great social life and you managed to have such a successful business. I sometimes wish I had a bit of your life in mine."

Rarity looked at her closest friend, and laughed.

"Oh wow, it seems so funny when we think about it, jealous of each other's life. Why if we were fillyfoolers, that'd probably make us want to be together." Rarity laughed a bit more, and so did David, being quick to think about it. Fluttershy also began to laugh, but Link...

What's a fillyfooler?

Oh, it a mare, that falls in love with a another mare.

Wait, what?

Fluttershy, then realized something, there might not be fillyfoolers in his world, or they might not want to be public.

I'll explain later.

"You know Rarity, it does seem kinda funny when you think about it. Hehe."

"Yes, oh my goodness! Idea~! I'll see you later Fluttershy, right now, I got a job to do!" Rarity said as she trotted out the door and towards Carousel Boutique. Fluttershy smiled at this.

Now I'll tell you about fillyfoolers...

(A/N The humans and the mares have tumblr now, check them out, and don't forget to leave a question.)

Look Back and Think: Part 1

Our six heroes had decided to camp out in the Everfree Forest for the night. They had built a campfire and David set up some logs to sit down on. Link had made a soup that was a very common meal to eat in Ordon Village, vegetable soup with some bread. Stryker also gotten some marshmallows for roasting on the fire, with graham crackers for s'mores. The six sat down and watched the fire.

"This is relaxing." David said, leaning back.

"Yes, it is." Harry said.

Link checked the soup, tasted it, and felt proud of his work. He got the bowls he brought along and poured some of the soup into them.

"So Wade," Nikolai started off. "What are we going to do later on?"

"I guess the author is going to do a time skip and take us to the next story arc after the next intermission."

"Huh... Okay then, what are we going to do later on Wade?" Nikolai asked again.

Deadpool sighed, then pinched his eyebrows. "We'll just kick ass in a few weeks."

"Oh, why didn't you say so?" Nikolai said as he took another drink of vodka.

"Because you can't see the world the way I see it." Deadpool said as he saw Nikolai as Zangief from Street Fighter and Link as John of Arc.

"Whatever, I'm drunk."

Harry just shook his head at the two men. They were very awkward and strange, but he came to like them...

"Hey Nick, see what I can do with my nose." Deadpool said as he put a harmonica on his nose and began to play, badly.

...Even if they were insane.

"That's just awful Wade, bloody awful." Harry said.

"Awwwww, shudup!" Wade retorted.

David took his soup and took a spoonful of it.

"This is good Link." David said, pointing his spoon at the dish. Link nodded in agreement as the others noticed that thy had their meals.

"This is better than how fourth wife cooks soup. Damn shame she had to use my pigs as meat, they would have been better as fertilizer makers." Nikolai said, making Link nod in agreement. Both were apparently adept at farming.

"You know, we know what we can do, except Harry, and yet, we don't know anything about ourselves." Stryker said.

"Hey, your right! Backstory time! I'll go first!" Deadpool said as he sat down, cleared his throat, and began to speak.

"My story goes..."

"Hey wait, how come you go first?" Nikolai said.

"Because I'm awesome, and because the author want's the OOC's backstory over with. Now my story goes way back!"

"How far back?" Asked Stryker.

"10 days ago."

"Well duh, that's how long we were here." David said.

"Quiet you! Now, 10 days ago, I was getting ready for the day."

I was in my 'headquarters' putting on my costume.

"Well, what's my job today?" I said. I was answered by two long time friends, the Caption Boxes.

Maybe you'll kick some ass!

A nice relaxing day?

"Nah, maybe I'll..." My phone then rang. I answered it.

"Yello!"

"Is this Deadpool?"

"Yep, I also go by the Merc with the Mouth, the..."

"Shut it! I have a job."

"Really now?"

"Groom Lake, Nevada. 7:40 p.m.! Don't be late!"

"Fine! I'll be right over."

"Excellent..." The caller then hung up.

"Welp! I gots me a new job!"

Groom Lake? Why does that seem familiar?

Who cares? Jobs!

"Yep! Time to arm up!" I walked to a nearby closet and opened it.

"Oh ho! This is gonna be good!" I said as I grabbed my usual gear, two MP7's, two TDI Kards, multiple grenades, thousands of rounds of ammunition, and my two blades.

Damn, you always carry that much gear?

No Stryker, I usually bring millions of rounds of ammunition, in my magic satchel.

...

Anyway, about 12 hours later, I reached the town and met my contractor, he was a old, but fit guy with hazel eyes, and a device on his throat. He then spoke to me.

"You must be Deadpool."

"What was your first clue, the costume?"

"Yes, yes it was." He said as he grabbed a soda and opened it. It was Mountain Dew, my favorite.

Wade, was that necessary to be so detailed?

Yes it was. Anyway, he spoke.

"Okay, here's your job, I want you to sneak into Area 51 and steal some top secret technology that I originally created."

"Whoa whoa, whoa! I don't do that stuff..."

"I'll give you 5 billion, American."

"Unless you give me shitton of money! DEAL!" We shook on it, and I was off.

Real smart of you.

Hey, would you steal something valuable for $5 billion?

No, I'm not stupid.

I hate you right now David.

Hear hear!

Right, anyways, I snuck in.

You sure we're not gonna get caught?

Only if he messes up.

We're doomed.

'Shut it you two!'

Fine.

'Good. Now where's that stuff?'

I dunno. Wait, check the asphalt.

'Where?'

Umm... The garage... heh heh...

'You guys are useless.'

So I walked around, and avoided the guards when I saw what I was looking for, the devices that that dude made. I tried to grab one when I saw a note on it.

'Sucker, you fell for it!'

"That tip was right, it's Deadpool!"

"Crap."

Run.

"What do you think I'm doing?"

I ran and ran, using my guns along the way. Then I got cornered.

"Okay guys, I surrender!" I said as I put my guns away

Crap, how'd we get into this?

When you accepted that job to sneak in Area 51 to steal technology, and got caught doing it.

Oh yeah.

"Well I'm screwed!"

"DEADPOOL! YOU ARE TO BE TAKEN TO A TOP SECRET MILITARY BASE FOR YOUR ACTIONS!"

At that moment, I felt pain.

"Ah, the pain is here somehow!"

OH CRAP!

Wade! I think we're...

And then I blacked out. When I came to, I was at the third floor at Sugarcube Corner, jumped out the window, passed out again and woke up to Nikolai poking me.

"The End!" Deadpool said as he clapped his hands together.

David nodded, then spoke up.

"Well, I'll just say, my backstory is boring. Anyone want to pass?"

"Typical teenager?" Stryker said.

"Typical teenager."

"We can skip you. Link?"

"Very well, I guess I can tell you my backstory. About 2 years ago, I was a simple ram herder."

"What about the day we got here?" Deadpool asked.

"You could have also told us what made you you, Wade."

"Well, I kinda forgot."

"Typical. Anyway I'll just say some key points in my journey."

"Seems legit." David said as he took a bite out of his bread.

"Right. Anyway, about 2 years ago, I was tasked to bring in a sword by my master to the princess of Hyrule so she can become a queen."

"Wait, you know her?"

"Yes David, but there is something else about this story, so listen."

"Fine."

"Anyway, Before the delivery I had found something I wished I knew about."

"What?" Harry asked.

"A special type of Twilight, one that corrupts when you enter it, and I was dragged in."

"Really!"

"Yes, most who enter the Twilight are turned into spirits but I was an exception."

"How?"

"I turned into a wolf."

A wolf!

"Wow."

"I know, during so, I was captured and brought to a dungeon. It was at that time I met a new friend, her name was Midna."

Wha...

"A good friend," David smirked, thinking he was hiding something. "I assure you all, just a bit..."

"Snarky?"

"I guess you can use that term Stryker. Anyway, she told me that if I help her, I can save this place from eternal twilight. At the time, I though it was ridiculous, but then I saw what was happening. After moving around, I had found myself face to face with the princess of Hyrule herself, Princess Zelda. She told me what to do and we got out of the castle. Midna then teleported me to my home to gather a sword and shield. We did it, but then we realized that only I could use them competently, so we tried to purge the Twilight away."

"How, with the power of light?" David said with a bit of sarcasm.

"Yes David, exactly."

"Oh."

"Anyway, there were three cases of it, during said adventure, I had gotten three pieces of a helmet that Midna could use. We then hit a snag."

"What kind?"

"The one who caused the Twilight, Zant came to us, and attacked us. Midna was seriously hurt, and I was turned back into a wolf. I knew Midna could not die, so I took her to Zelda to see if she could help, and sure enough, she did. But I was still a wolf and I didn't know what to do. I was told to go to a hidden part of the forest to find a special sword, the Master Sword. When I grabbed it, I was turned back into a human, and Midna also found out something."

"What is it?" Nikolai asked.

"As long as the artifact that she had gotten was contacting me, I would turn into a wolf. Needless to say, it was very useful."

"Cool. I wonder what my spirit animal is." Stryker asked, before remembering his was a T-Rex from Nightwolf.

"Midna told us that we need to go to the Twilight realm to face off Zant. What's so funny Wade?"

"Nothing, ha ha, sounds like... nevermind, go on, go on."

"Right, anyway, we had to go to a cut off part of Hyrule, a desert."

"This Hyrule seems crazy diverse."

"I had thought so Stryker, anyway, after reaching the where we needed to go, we hit another snag, the portal was all but complete. The Mirror of Twilight was shattered and we had no way to reach Zant, so we had to go on another adventure."

"I hate it when that happens." Nikolai said as he took another drink.

"Needless to say after a few weeks, we were facing down Zant and we were ready to fight him."

"Let me guess, you beat him."

"Indeed Stryker. We had then realized that he was not the one we were suppose to defeat."

"The big bad wasn't the real villain, no big surprise." David said as he grabbed a marshmallow and began roasting it over the fire.

"Right, at that point, we realized that Princess Zelda was in trouble and we needed to help her. After many hours, we had reached the throne room and found Zelda trapped. She became a puppet that I had to free."

"Which you did, so cliche." Deadpool said.

"Okay, yes I did, and the two of us had to fight off the real enemy, and man named Ganondorf."

David remained silent as his marshmallow caught on fire for a few seconds, after which he blew it out and ate it.

"In the end, we were facing one on one, ready to determine the fate of Hyrule. You can already guess what happened by what you see. Anyway, after we had defeated Ganondorf, I found that Midna had changed."

"How, she turn into something?"

"Well, if you'd say beautiful and tall a change, yes."

"Cool."

Grr...

"Anyway, as it turned out, Midna was the true ruler of the Twilight realm, so she had to go back. Before she went however, she had cast a spell that would destroy the mirror of Twilight, permanently separating the two worlds."

Oh good, less romantic interests for Link, and a better chance for me.

"Two years later, I was called again to deliver another sword for a knighting ceremony. I had accepted and was on my way. When I got there, I went to the princess, and then... well what happened to Wade is what happened to me."

"Alright, so that's two down, three to go." Harry said.

"Anyone mind if I turn on some music?" David asked. The others nodded, letting David turn on some music.

This another one of those 'Skrillex' songs David?

Yep.

The six humans were deciding who would be next, but then...

"Excuse me comrades, but I need to take big Russian bear shit. I'll be back." Nikolai said as he went into the woods.

"I guess we'll talk more about our backstories later." Stryker said.

"Definitely." Harry said as he got a marshmallow and started roasting it.

(A/N: This is to clear some confusion of some of the characters that some people don't know about. Be sure to check out the humans' tumblr and the mares' tumblr as well. Happy Thanksgiving, even though it's almost over for me. Goodbye.)

Look Back and Think: Part 2

David had waited for Nikolai to come back, in the meantime, he put on a new song.

Rainbow Dash was really enjoying this. It made her feel, like her soul was invigorated.

I love this song!

I like it too!

Link was even finding himself bopping his head to the beat. When he realized this, he had one thought.

We're rubbing off on each other, I just hope not too much.

"This is great!" Harry said.

"It Madeon." David said.

Deadpool was also enjoying it, a lot.

"Aww, already." Deadpool said disappointed that the song ended so soon. At that point Nikolai came back.

"Okay, I am back, how about I tell my adventures about fighting zombies and you listen to Nikolai?"

The other humans nodded, no reason to argue about that.

"Good! It all started in a swamp."

"Ohh, where am I?"

I wake up with hangover. When I fully see, I see an American, a Japanese guy, and a Nazi watching over them. The watch came to Nikolai.

"Ahh good, you're awake!"

"Who are you? What is going on? Where can I get drink?"

"All will be revealed in all due time. Right now, we've got a problem."

"What problem?"

Then, zombie grabbed my satchel, he regretted it.

"Hey, let go of my vodka Ублюдок!" I then take knife from German and stab zombie in eye. He died, and I grabbed a bottle of vodka to drink.

"Oh, that was a wunderbar kill Russian! I am Doctor Richtofen! You are?"

"Nikolai Belinski, Drunk."

"Good, here." Richtofen handed me a handgun. I think it was American M1911 pistol. Then American approached me.

"Are you kidding, I have to fight with this drunk? Even the Tojo is more badass than him Richtofen!"

"Well I like him!"

"Hey!" I said. "Who are you?"

"Tank Dempsey, United States Marine Corps, 57th Infiltration Unit Division! You?"

"Nikolai Belinski, Red Army, 3rd Shock Army!"

Wait wait wait, you were in the Red Army?

Yes David, I had fought against Nazis before fighting zombies and time traveled to 2025, I think it was 2025 at least.

I... Words cannot express what I am feeling right now.

Right, so as I was saying...

"Okay, then who is that douche?"

"Oh, well that's Takeo. He is a good fighter from what I can tell." Richtofen said.

"Well I don't like him."

"Why?" Dempsey asked me.

"You don't know about Russo-Japanese War, do you?"

"Umm, no."

"Typical." I took drink of vodka.

"Right, now, we need to get out of this Gottverlassen swamp! Shi No Numa is crawling with zombies."

"Zombies? Wait, that thing was zombie?"

"Ja, didn't you kill him because of that?"

"I killed him because he almost stole my vodka!"

Dempsey looked at me like crazy man, Richtofen...

"Oh, wunderbar. Listen, I know a way out of here, so stay close you three!"

"Very werr Doctor, I'rr fight by your side and die if I have to, for honor." Takeo said.

"I can tell I won't like you.

"Neither wirr I, you pig!"

And so, we went from swamp to factory where we kicked much zombie ass. Der Riese was cramped, but I was okay. Afterwards, we time-traveled to shit movie theater.

"Who forgot to pay electricity bill?"

"Where are we?"

"I think the better question Dempsey is..."

"When are we?"

"No, where the hell is my vodka?"

I tuned out for a while before Takeo kicked vodka bottle to me. I thanked him and we kicked more ass. We ended in my country. More specifically, Soviet cosmodrome.

"What the, the zombies took over Motherland! They are fucking dead!"

"Nikolai, do you even realize that there is no color?" Dempsey said to me.

"I am pissed off drunk Dempsey, ask me that again."

"Fine."

"Please, help me, she's coming! The mechanism must be repaired."

"Usually the voices sound so angry!"

And so we turned on power and do butch of seemingly random and convoluted things until we free this jackass and get sent forward in time again, and get stuck in closet.

HA!

Laugh it up David, laugh it up.

"AHHHHH I'm blind, I'm blind, in my eyes!"

"Holy shitballs, me too... What did you do Richtofen!?"

"I did nothing. Where's the light switch? Oh. I think I found a lever. Perhaps this will turn on the light."

"Ooh, AAH! Let go, that's.... not... a... LEVER! Richtofen!"

"Haha! Shhh! Did you hear that?"

"Uhh... Sounded like someone outside. Hey, you! Hey! I need vodka!"

"Hello? Could you help us? There must be a blown fuse or something. It's dark in here."

Takeo then threw up on Dempsey, the bastard.

"Oh man, that's wet."

After we get response, man leaves. Richtofen then spoke up.

"Hi Takeo, yeah, how you doing? You see all the puke? That we're picking up? You're not saying thank you? Nothing? You know why? Because you're a little shit."

After more time...

"Oh for the love of.., Richtofen, just cause the lights ain't on doesn't mean I can't kick your ass." Dempsey then slapped Richtofen. "Now get your finger out of mine!"

"You know, I kept the power off my entire first marriage... first wife looked like Nikolai too much... ugh."

"Yeah that's nice."

"It's so dark and quiet! Anyone up for a game?"

"NO!"

"But..."

"NO!"

"AWW..."

Takeo threw up again. And then power went back on.

"Ah much better, now I can see the problem. We must have gone too far in the future. Look, the teleporter is completely broken. The time circuits are damaged. We'll have to reboot the..."

"Wait, you took us here on purpose!? Where are we?"

"A better question Dempsey ..."

I found blinkey light, so I reach for it.

"Oh look! Blinkey light, heh heh, what´s this button do?"

"Nikolai, NOOOOOOO!!!!"

Then there was force field thingy.

"Oohhh great Nikolai, you just activated the MDT security system."

"Good!"

"Excuse me! You outside, ja... the handsome one. We need you to locate the power sources of the security system. They look like little half domes with a hole on top, kinda like a big... forget it. If you destroy them, it should shut down the security system."

After a few minutes, we hear Dempsey talk again.

"This force field is good for something after all, keeping me separate from 'Mr. Touchy Feely' over there."

"I can break these force fields with Russian head strike..." I charged into force field "Grr..! Argh..! Ooh... shit! Bad idea. I lie down."

"Oh its situations like this make me wish I haven't erased their... I mean... force field, force field, stuck behind a force field. Hehehe... Do you know that tune?"

After a while, force field disappears.

"Okay that did the trick."

"Ah yes, Takeo can you hand me that screwdriver?"

Takeo threw up on Richtofen's hand. Hilarious.

"Ok, ew."

"Is that all he's going to do this trip?"

"Oh, I have such a headache... I need vodka!"

"Now ain't the time for drinking, Nikolai!"

"I heartily disagree! Now is perfect time for drinking."

"Ja, vodka! That will give me the distraction I... I mean, good idea!"

"See Tank? It always good time for drinking, eh?"

"But there couldn't possibly be anything left to drink anywhere, could there?"

After a while, I hear Dempsey speak again.

"At least there aren´t any fucking zombies in here... I feel like I'm on vacation."

"Oh, I'm not, I want to..."

"Wait, my eye-sight is clear, my hands do not shake, I can hold coherent thoughts... aaah! I'm... SOBER!"

"Oh for the love of... shut up Nikolai!"

"NO! I am sober! It is horrible day!"

"Whatever Nikolai. Remember, if you have to go to the potty, I have designated this corner the potty corner. Meaning that if you have to potty, in a corner, this will be the corner that you would potty in. Number 1 or 2 is acceptable"

"Great, I need to take a piss."

Once again, Takeo... You get idea. And then vodka came.

"Oh hello thank you so much."

"Come on Richtofen. It's singing time!"

"Ahh I feel like dancing with third wife, like she's doing the troika with me."

"Wait isn't the troika that dance that needs three people?"

"Yeah, but third wife, big woman. She can do both parts!"

"Eew."

"I lie in bed I just roll towards her, you know."

Another Takeo throws up thing, it became less funny as it went on to me.

"Takeo, lets dance you barfing fool!"

Then Dempsey and I sing, song goes like this.

"99 shots of vodka, 99 shots of glee, we drink for fun, it's better than rum! 99 shots of vodka for me! 98 shots of vodka, 98 bottles of glee,we drink for fun, it's better than rum! 98 shots of vodka for me!"

"So now that they're occupied I've been wondering, could you do a special errand for me? I need you to retrive a very important device, it looks like a long, stiff, hard, golden rod... With fingers on the end, Aaaoohh, delightful."

"96 shots of vodka..."

"Come on, you lost count again you dumbass! Now we have to start all over again!"

"Well, I do not like math.'"

"Whatever drunkass." *Urp* "You know, sometimes I feel like I can't remember a time before the zombies, er, I really can't. Heh heh, maybe it's the vodka. Well, maybe not."

"Ha ha ha, everything is right again! hehehehe!"

"One more piece, and the world will be MINE! Nehaha. Oh, I mean, force field force field, I'm not stuck behind a force field. Do you know that tune?"

"You asked us that already."

"And I'm asking again."

After another few minutes...

"Kinda sick of me to ask this but Richtofen, is that a rod in your pocket?"

"Nein, let's go! I've got us what we needed."

"Ha yeah....DRUNK!"

"Thank you so much for your help out there. Goodbye!"

We try to go home, but...

"What happened?"

"Should I get out and push?"

"Ugh, the fuse box must have shorted out, again!"

"Oh come on! This better be more rewarding than last time. Stupid Gersch."

"Vodka!"

"Good, much better! Thank you again stranger, perhaps we will see you another time.. goodbye!"

"Yo sauerkraut, never did tell us why we came, wherever this is."

"All in good time my clever Dempsey, all in good time!"

Takeo throws up, again.

"Oh.. that's what you get for eating raw fish!"

We go to paradise and fight more zombies, getting meteor. And we help some British guy or something, whatever. We then go to some place in Nevada and fight off more zombies. Then we teleported.

Where, to the moon? Ha ha...

Yes actually, it was so fun, and so bouncy!

Oh...

Anyway, Richtofen then stabbed us in back like Stalin did to me, I accidently blew up Earth...

What?!

And I end up here.

"The end! Where is vodka?"

The five humans were just staring at the drunk. They all thought that when he blew up the earth, he ended millions of lives.

"You major dumbass." David said as he threw his fiery marshmallow into the fire itself.

"Well, I guess I'll go next then." Stryker said. "I really didn't do much for my group. I found out that my enemies tried to take over my world, and I helped stop them. Many years later, I was called again to do it, fought major bad guys, saw a pyramid rise up from nowhere, and I saw that my effort were in vain."

"What, how?" Nikolai asked.

"The big bad, Shao Khan had killed my allies, taken ultimate power and was now ready to take over the entire universe."

"Damn!" Deadpool said. "The only other man I know who would do that is Thanos. I hate him for making me unable to bone Death."

You like... Death?

The physical embodiment.

Oh, so sexy!

Sexy body, bony face.

And she speaks, like this!

You really like her, don't you?

To die forever and be with her forever, is the greatest gift of all for me.

Huh.

"Well then I guess we can go on to Harry's story." David said.

"Yes, but first, I need something to drink. Anyone bring any water?"

The others looked kinda awkward.

"Fine, I saw a riverbank coming here, I just go there then."

"We'll be waiting." Stryker said.

"Good." And Harry was off.

"Was Richtofen Homosexual?"

"I don't know Wade, maybe."

"Cool."

(A/N: Be sure to check out the humans' tumblr and the mares' tumblr as well. Happy Thanksgiving, even though it's almost over for me. Goodbye, and enjoy the fact that this is 20 chapters long.)

Look Back and Think: Part 3

Deadpool had Pool-o-vision again. It went like this.

"I love chimichangas, Latino illegals always make it better."

The others looked at Deadpool with confused looks. David shrugged it off first.

"You know, the readers are going to laugh at you, instead of with you."

"You know what? Screw you! Du na na na na, du na nana nana na!" Deadpool said, wiggling around like a snake.

Harry came back with a canteen full of water and a confused look.

"What... are you doing Wade?"

"Telling David to screw off!"

"Is good thing Wade!" Nikolai said, raising his vodka bottle and taking a drink of it.

"Right, well let's get on to my story then." Harry sat down at the log he was at a few minutes ago. "My story begins when I was a simple infant."

"When you mention infancy, it's never good." Deadpool pointed out.

"Yes, an evil wizard killed my parents when I was a baby. The only reason I lived was because of my parents love."

"Pff, that's stupid." Nikolai said.

"Then you never felt love then."

Nikolai piped up, and got an annoyed look.

"HA!" David shouted. "Continue Potter."

"Right David. Anyway, afterwards, I was sent to my aunt and uncle's home."

"Abusive?" Nikolai asked.

"More like they couldn't care less for me."

"Abusive, like father was. I hate him for loving brother more than me, and arranging first marriage."

David was bored and looked through the song list in his radio.

I never noticed this song before, I'll play it after Harry's done telling his story.

I think that for the best.

"Right, so for my tenth birthday, I finally found out that I was a wizard, and I was sent to a school for wizards. I'm not telling the name, nor am I telling what I learned."

"Damn." Deadpool said, disappointed that he wouldn't learn magic.

"Anyway, there I meet a few people. My two closest friends, Hermione and Ron. I also met my wife, Ginny."

"Interesting. Where are they now?" Stryker asked.

"Ron and Hermione are married, and Ginny is probably crying her poor eyes out." Harry sighed. "I hope we can get back home soon."

"At least you have an undying reason to leave. Eventually, I'll give up on going home and go off the deep end and start being with one of these ponies. And that'll not be good for me now." David said, genuinely worried that he might no longer want to go home one day. He was trying his hardest not to find a reason to stay beyond breaking his curse.

"It probably doesn't hurt to say Ginny and Ron are brother and sister."

Link nodded, smiling. He thought that being friends with your brother-in-law was a very good accomplishment, especially if you did it during the courting period of your relationship with you one true love.

"Anyway, before my learning was finished, a few things went horrible wrong for me. First, the dark lord came back, Voldemort."

Deadpool laughed a bit. "Ha, what a stupid name."

"Maybe, but he is pure evil. And then the headmaster of the wizard school dies in front of my eyes. And to add insult to injury, me and my friends become fugitives as Voldemort takes over the wizarding world."

Nikolai somehow could relate. "It is like Stalin after Lenin dies, he takes over and rules with iron fist. Sent me to Siberia, then front lines."

"Guess that's why his name means 'man of iron' in your language." David said, poking the fire.

"Right." Harry said. "Anyway, we had to weaken him somehow. He had split his soul into many different parts called 'horcruxes' to ensure his immortality. They were destructible though. We had to hunt each one down until we faced down Voldemort himself."

"And then you killed his ass! Right!" Deadpool said.

"Wrong. As it turns out, I was one of his horcruxs, so there was only one way Voldemort could die."

Stryker raised an eyebrow, until...

"Unless you die yourself."

"Exactly! It did happen, but I came back from what you see, and we faced down."

"I bet he died by his own stupidity. It's cliche, but understandable."

"Yes David, as it turns out, he had what was supposed to be my own wand. When he cast a killing spell on me, it backfired and killed him instead."

"Like wheat before a scythe!" Nikolai said, drinking his vodka.

"Not exactly, but now that he's gone, the world could live and breath easily. I got a steady job now, and a loving wife. What more could I want?"

"Nothing!" Stryker said.

"Exactly! About seven years later, I came here."

"So that ends, good! I gonna play another song now." David said, playing This Noise (Deeper Logic Mix) on the radio.

"Ohh, my brain feels logical!" Deadpool said, seeing Harry as Gandalf the Grey and David as Captain Price from the Modern Warfare series.

"Logic, since when were you logical?" David said with a smug look.

"David, we never figured out what your backstory was." Nikolai said.

"Too boring."

"Come on!"

"Nope!"

"Come on!"

"Just drink."

"Okay!" Nikolai said, taking a gulp of vodka.

Why are you not telling us about your past?

I don't really think it's interesting. Besides, at this point, I still don't trust them enough too say much, except...

"Hey Wade!"

"What?"

"I totally remembered something, my friend John totally looks like Jesse Eisenburg."

"Really now, that I got to see!"

"Yep, let's just listen to the rest of this."

And so the group of six enjoyed the rest of the night before packing up and leaving to go to the mares' homes. They were just beginning, but there was more to come for them.

Seeing the End?

Twilight had gone through the same scroll over and over again, but couldn't even find anything new.

"UGH! This is hopeless!" Twilight said, smacking the scroll off the table and into the sunlight.

We'll have to see that cave drawing one more time just make sure we didn't miss anything.

Might be so. I just hope...

Wait, Twilight the scroll!

"Wha..." Twilight saw the scroll start to smoke a bit, and then it caught on fire.

"AHH! How'd that happen?" Twilight cast a spell to suffocate the fire. It worked, but now the scroll was ashes.

"Oh for Faust's sake! I can't believe that just happened! Spike!"

"Yes Twi?"

"Get a broom and dustpan please, that scroll we got from the princess finally turned to dust." Twilight said, stomping the ground in frustration.

Wait, is it just me or does that look like... writing?

Twilight raised an eyebrow and looked at the ashes. She widened her eyes when she read it.

The Saiyahar Desert?

It's a desert far out southeast. It is extremely dangerous to go by hoof.

We have a vehicle that has temperature control, that desert won't be so bad when we go through it in the car.

Twilight raised her head and smiled. She prepared to write a letter when Spike came it.

"I got the dustpan, where is the... Twilight, didn't you say it crumbled or something, not burned?"

"I know, but we need it either way. By the way, I need a letter sent later. Let's clean this up and then we'll send it, okay?"

"Alright, let's do it."

After a few minutes of cleaning up the burned up parchment, Spike sent the letter. It read...

Dear Princess Celestia,

That scroll we had kinda burned up and no longer exists. On the bright side, I finally figured out what it meant. Prepare some supplies for the humans, they need to go to the Saiyahar Desert.

Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle

Rarity had managed to make 5 more dresses. David even helped make one out of purple silk, something that Rarity hadn't thought of before.

So, how is it?

Hmm, it looks good, but it's missing something.

What is it, a certain gem?

No, it's more subtle than that. Try freeing up the flank.

Rarity did so, looked at it and gasped.

"My word, it's... it's... absolutely perfect!"

Indeed it was, the purple fabric intermingled with the emeralds well and the way the flank was exposed was not so less provocative, but more to give a clear look at one's flank, one's cutie mark. It also had violet flairs near the collar to give in a fiery look. Needless to say, she was very happy with the result.

Oh thank you David. A couple weeks ago, I would've though you were useless. But seeing how you wanted to help me when I needed inspiration...

Don't sweat it, I like to be creative. It's like my one true talent really.

Really, if you were a pony, I wonder what your cutie mark would be.

Hopefully something crazy, I like to be a little insane for my creative justice.

Oh dear. You know, you've been acting more generous lately.

Aren't I the corrupted form of generosity?

Okay then... Wait, what were you before this?

A normal human, by what used to be my standards. I never really killed anything larger than a large bug before this.

Do you feel bad for... shedding blood?

Only if it's innocent blood. How I cope with being drenched in blood is that I think of hope.

Hope?

Hope to have a wonderful life, and that means right now, going home.

Strange, from what I heard, it's on par with being Tartarus.

My home might have corrupt leaders, idiotic laws, horrible crime lords and a economy that is on the verge of collapse, but it's also my home, one that I love very much, and I'd like to go back to my friends and family, or at least see them one last time.

Rarity was silent. David just said that his world was a horrible place, but he wanted to be there nonetheless. He was truly devoted to his true home. He'd acted like he'd kill himself for it. A true sign of generosity.

You are so great, for having such a powerful moral compass.

Erm, thanks.

Oh you heard that? Heh heh, sorry.

Rarity felt like she needed some wine. Why not?

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were outside, ready to enjoy the day.

"Okay Fluttershy, I need you to cheer for me while I train for the Cloudsdale Best Flier's competition in a month. Can you do that?"

"Oh... sure."

"HIYA GIRLS!"

The two pegasi looked at Pinkie Pie, who came here to watch Rainbow fly.

"Pinkie, why are you here?"

"To watch you fly silly! HEHE!"

Got the popcorn?

Yep, time to watch that sexy ass.

Ugh, such pervertedness.

Cultured dddddddddiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

Ugh, why even bother?

"Well okay Pinkie, we'll let you watch us. You better be ready to cheer!"

"OKIE DOKIE!"

Rainbow nodded and flew up into the air.

Fast.

No duh.

I'd like to see that Rainboom thing you mentioned so often.

Okay. It's going to be awesome!

Rainbow flew around with speed and elegant acrobatic moves.

She's good.

Yes she is.

I wonder what's happening soon.

Something good hopefully.

Rainbow Dash had made three clouds spin and was ready for the creme de la creme, the Sonic Rainboom.

Harder...

A cone appeared around Rainbow.

Better...

Tears from flying so fast formed in Rainbow's eyes.

Faster...

It was almost time.

Stronger!!!

Rainbow had done it a boom sound was made and a ring of the entire spectrum of the rainbow appeared while Rainbow flew with a rainbow trail behind her.

HOLY CRAP! That was... AWESOME!

Yeah it was.

With quick movements, she flew straight down into the ground in front of the two mares, and created a dust cloud. When it cleared, Rainbow was standing with a smug look on her face.

"Was that good, or was that good?"

"That wasn't good." Fluttershy said.

The two other mares stared at the shy mare.

"That was amazing! Great job Rainbow!"

"Aw yeah, I'm a shoe-in for the win next month!"

"Yeppers! I wonder what Applejack is doing?"

"I don't know, at the market?"

Applejack was selling apples at the farmer's market, nothing new.

I'm fucking bored.

Well why don't cha watch the antics that Ponyville has to offer?

I am drunk, it seems like good idea to me.

Good.

"Excuse me, I'd like two apples." A mare ordered with her friend.

"Coming right up ma'am!" Applejack grabbed two apples and handed them to the duo. "That'll be 3 bits."

"Here you go." The mare said, giving the coins to the farmer.

"Thank you kindly fer choosin' Sweet Apple Acres Apples. Come back again, ya hear."

I'd like to see if there are potatoes here.

Why?

To make vodka!

Of course.

Applejack saw Twilight approach her stand and stood upright.

"Twi, how're ya doin'?"

"Great, can you get the other girls later?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Great, we'll meet at your barn."

"Sounds mighty fine, I'll tell 'em."

"Thanks Applejack, I'll see you soon." And Twilight ran off, seeming looking for somepony.

I hope that means good thing.

Me too.

Hours later, the six mares gathered in Applejack's barn. The sun was almost set, so Twilight, went straight to the point.

"Okay, the princess needs the humans to go to her. And also, they have a chance to break this curse."

"Really!" Fluttershy said in surprising volume. The stares she garnered made her eep in embarrassment.

"Okay, but it's a very dangerous journey to the Saiyahar Desert."

"The Saiyahar Desert! The same desert that ended many ponies' lives when they tried to pass though it, both day and night?"

The mares looked at who said it, Pinkie Pie.

"Yes, the same."

Pinkie gasped and her normally poofy hair flattened. "We're doomed."

Wait!

"Wait Pinkie, we..."

You forgot the super Lamborghini!

"These humans are tougher than you think."

And the author would never kill us off!

"These humans have shelter, the car!"

Pinkie, after hearing both side of the reasoning, brightened up and her hair got poofy again.

"You're right! We're not doomed! Let's go to Canterlot!"

"That's the spirit Pinkie!" Rainbow said.

"Let's get ready."

And so, the sun set. Out of the barn came six humans. They approached a single vehicle and drove off.

Body Sharers Have Hope

When the group got in the car, David, decided to mix up some of the tracks. He found out this feature last night when he accidently played two songs at the same time, he also found he can manipulate the song themselves to create mash-ups. He chose one that seemed to fit well.

"You guys ready? The Saiyahar Desert will await us soon, but first, the boss lady needs to know we're going there." David said. The others responded and they were off.

"David, about why you don't want to talk about your home..."

"You want to know the real reason why I won't tell Stryker." David leaned in closer and whispered to the SWAT officer. "I don't want to be saddened when I need to focus on getting out."

Stryker nodded as David approached the castle. He decided to be straightforward with his arrival, simple knocking on the door. David looked in the rear-view mirror to see Harry smiling, Nikolai covering his ears, Deadpool headbopping, and Link looking out the window. The group reached the front door and David knocked. It opened to reveal two gold clad guards.

"I got a meeting to attend to with your royal highness."

The guards nodded and let the humans go in. David hit a new song on the playlist and drove slowly.

"Ah yeah, Skrillex! I hope that... aww it's the Flex version." Deadpool said.

"Don't worry, at least it's music." Stryker said.

"Whatever, it's not thrashing my head around."

At least it's not doing the same to me. Link thought.

The car entered the throne room where Celestia looked on in amusement. David got out of the car and began to speak.

"So, any idea that what we're doing will work?"

"No, I don't even know what lays beyond the desert."

"Well, let's see the map."

The princess brought out the map of Equestria.

"Beyond the San Palomino Desert lies what we call the Saiyahar Desert, the most dangerous land in the entire world. Nothing that goes in far will go out."

"But us. We have AC!"

"That doesn't mean..."

"We'll be fine, this desert won't know what hit it!"

"I have to agree with David," Stryker said. "we can go through this easy. We've been though worse."

"I still don't think you can survive."

"Not without supplies and planning." Harry said.

"Yeah, we can do it!" Wade said.

Celestia looked in the eyes of these humans, then sighed.

"Very well, you will go in three weeks."

"That long?" David asked.

"Yes, when you go outside of Equestria, you end up being outlaws to other countries, unless you've been in good standing for the time you were here."

The humans nodded vigorously, they really tried to behave here.

"Good, We'll see each other soon enough. Goodbye." Celestia then trotted out of the throne room. The six humans got back in the car and drove out. David hit a new song on the car.

"I am liking this." Nikolai said.

David was halfway to Ponyville now. He was enjoying this song a lot.

It is, strangely touching.

I know, right!

Awesome!

Really get your blood flowing, doesn't it?

Heck yeah!

The piano outro began, and Link was pleasantly surprised. He saw the familiar farm ahead and tilted his neck, creating a few gratifying pops.

The car stopped and the six men got out.

"So, want to look around?" Deadpool asked the others.

"Da, I will!" Nikolai said.

Link looked at the merc, and nodded.

"Great, let's go!"

And trio ran off, leaving Harry, Stryker and David.

"You know what, I'll relax here. You two, do whatever." David said, as he looked through the playlist.

"Okay David, let's go Kurtis."

"Right Harry." The two men left the man alone and he choose a quiet song, well quieter than most other songs he chooses. David layed on the hood and stargazed.

"This is relaxing."

Indeed. I wish things could be so simple.

Me too. You know, just two weeks ago, we were bitter enemies, and now, we're close friends.

It is quite funny. Oh my! I never could have thought that the piano could really bring out this song so well.

Sometimes, we just need to chill out, relax, forget our worries. Maybe we could lose all inhibitions too if it won't hurt anyone in the long run.

Hmm, yes, that seems like a good philosophy. He's wiser than he looks. And he is kinder when you get to know him. I'm glad to not be his rival.

One thing I really miss though was my home. I really miss my family.

I know that feeling, I truly care for my family.

Yeah...

It was quiet, and then David felt like falling asleep, so he drove off to Rarity's to take a nap. He was going to enjoy whatever sleep he got.

"Ugh, are we there yet?"

"Not quite Nick!" Deadpool replied.

"Fuuuuck!"

Cheer up Nikolai, you're losing weight.

You just enjoy seeing fat man run, do you?

Maybe.

Гребаная сука...

Пьяный ублюдок.

You can speak Russian?

Learned it from ya, ya should really learn to swear less, especially in fancy.

Я все еще ненавижу Вас.

Аналогично.

"We're here!" Deadpool said.

"Finally, now to drink!" Nikolai said as he sat on a rock and drank from his vodka bottle.

Link looked off the cliff and saw something interesting.

What a beautiful night sky.

Indeed.

The cliff they were at was overlooking Ponyville and Canterlot, and was also showing a great view of the night sky as well.

I love it!

Will you date me?

Don't be touchy.

He'll never do that.

Yes I can! If you let me date you until you separate from Wade, I'll never touch you.

Hmm... DEAL!

YAY! Oh, almost touched you.

Hugs don't count.

Sweet!

Deadpool chuckled, Yellow Caption Box scored, and all he had to do was change his habits for a woman.

"We go in 30 minutes, mainly to find the mare's homes and rest there."

"Sounds good to Nikolai, Wade!"

Tonight was good. But in three weeks, the most important adventure begins.

When do I get to second base?

6 months.

Fine...

This won't end well.

Shipping galore!

Intermission: Not so Bad at Home

Nick Fury had gathered the Avengers to do one single mission.

Figure out what happened to Deadpool. Reed Richards had scanned the multiverse to find any anomalies that might have something to do with Deadpool's disappearance. There were five other cases similar to Wade Wilson's predicament, in five other universes. He came in.

"Okay you five, you ready?"

Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Nick Fury and the Hulk gathered around to perform the mission.

"Yes I am." Tony Stark, aka Iron Man said as his mask clasped shut on his Stealth Armor MK I suit.

"Hulk ready to smash!" The Hulk said.

"Ready!" Steve Rogers said as he put his shield on his back.

"I am ready, Richards!" Thor said, wielding Mjolnir in his right hand.

"I'm ready." Nick Fury said, loading his M9 handgun.

"Good, Captain, you'll go to Earth Tr3. Tony, you'll go to Earth 115Z. Hulk, Earth 13-11. Fury, you'll go to Earth 2. And finally, Thor, you'll go to Earth 7-13-3. All of you understand?"

"YES!" They unisoned.

"Good, I'll open all the portals. Good luck."

The portals opened and all five Avengers went through to their respective worlds.

"Ginny, I just got a report from the case."

"Really Ron!"

"Yes, according to this, Harry's disappearance was magical, and it was a teleportation spell."

"REALLY! Oh Ron, that's great news!"

"I know Ginny. I..."

"What the..." Ron said as he pulled out his wand. Ginny did so as well. What appeared was a portal. Out came a muscular blond man wielding a hammer and was clad in armor. He took one look around and spoke.

"Excuse me sir, doth thou mind telling me where someone disappeared in a flash of light?"

"What! How did you..." Ginny started.

"HAHA! Then you know who it was! Tell me where and I will go there post-haste!"

"Wait wait, who the bloody Hell are you?" Ron asked.

"Oh, my apologies. I am Thor of Asgard. I have come seeking the same thing that happened to my friend, Wade Wilson. Perhaps you know of the name of who disappeared, Hmm?"

Ron was bloody confused, how the bloody Hell did Thor, the Norse god of thunder, end up in Ginny's living room, and how'd he know of what happened to Harry, but not know the person.

"Okay, you want to know, it was a man, my brother-in-law, Harry Potter."

"Ah, I am terribly sorry for your loss, dear friend. I shall now lead you to my world, where we will find your friend, post-haste!" Thor said in a booming voice.

"Please do so! My Harry is somewhere out there, confused, defenceless, possibly worse!" Ginny pleaded.

"Very well, follow me and..."

"Ron, are you... what the!" Hermione said as she enter the room.

"Ah, another friend of this 'Harry'?"

"Yes, who are..."

"No time for questions, follow me and all will be revealed!" Thor said as he reentered the portal in the living room. All three looked at each other, shrugged and entered as well.

Dempsey, Takeo and Samantha were talking to a fellow group of survivors. Their names were Misty, Marlton, Samuel and Russman.

"So, tell me, what it's like up in the moon?" Misty asked.

"Kinda awkward, but pleasing." Dempsey said.

"Russman feels kinda uncomfortable near the Japanese man." Russman said, garnering a look from Takeo.

"Berieve me when I say that this apocarypse is never going to stop untir the true reader is dead!" Takeo said.

"Whatever, I can say that going to the moon is going to be difficult when we have no fuel, no means of building a spaceship and zombies everywhere." Marlton said.

At that point, a portal appeared.

"Or that can happen."

Out of the portal came a metal-clad thing. It looked around until it saw a group of zombies rushing over.

"Sir, it appears to be a giant hoard of zombies." Jarvis pointed out.

"Yes, a shambling pile of dead meat is zombies, Jarvis. I'll take care of this." Iron Man flew into the air and blasted the zombie hoard, reducing it to mere piles of limbs. He landed in front of the humans, removed his facepiece and spoke.

"Gentlemen, I am Tony Stark. Entrepreneur, playboy, billionaire genius and part-time superhero. I need you to come with me regarding an issue about someone disappearing in a flash of light."

Marlton was just shocked at what he saw. The ultimate of robotic technology, a weapon that could only be used by it's builder, a...

"Wait, flash of light?" Dempsey said. "What about it?"

"Well, it means someone teleported." Tony said nonchalantly.

Takeo widened his eyes, dropped to his knees and raised his fists into the air.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Tony was amused, but... "We'll go now. It'll only be temporary if you like."

"Very werr, but I am... disappointed." Takeo said solemnly.

The group of eight entered the portal and disappeared. At that point, a bus came and opened its doors, revealing a machine. It looked out the door and spoke.

"Those dumbasses left without boarding the bus. They're fucked." T.E.D.D. said as he drove off.

Captain America appeared in some kind of throne room and saw someone on the throne, some kind of leader. He approached the leader when...

"Halt! You shall not take the queen!"

Steve looked to see a guard, wielding a spear. then about 7 more came in to help.

"Please, I just want to talk..."

"Never! You shall not pass!"

Steve prepared his shield to throw.

"Your choice." Captain America threw the shield, hitting the guards, one by one via ricocheting it into each one. After the last one was down, Steve grabbed the shield mid-flight.

"Told you." Steve walked up to the queen, when four more elite-looking guards came to protect her. Steve then spoke.

"Look, I'll just say this now, has anyone disappeared in a flash of light?" Cap said. The queen perked up.

"I seen it with my own eyes! How did you..."

"I heard it happened to someone else in my world, I need to come to with me to explain to you what we believe happened, miss..."

"Zelda, Queen of Hyrule."

"Very well your highness. Will you follow me?"

Zelda looked thoughtful, but she had no other options. "Very well."

"Thank you. Follow me." Steve said as he walked to the portal, the other five following. Steve knew one thing now.

Maybe that person is with Wade. I hope he hasn't killed himself yet.

A monster was destroying the Netherrealm. It was huge...

...It was strong...

...it was green.

"HULK SMASH PUNY MONSTER MEN!"

The Hulk ended up in the Netherrealm. The demons there tried to kill him, but he just smashed them into oblivion. He was soon approached by a robed man. This one, did not attack.

"You no hurt Hulk. You know what happens when Hulk angry."

"Indeed. I saw you came out of that portal. Why?"

"Did puny man disappear with bright flash?"

"Hmm, yes, yes he did. You know something about that?"

"Talking man disappear in home, Hulk sent here to find puny man who see flash."

Shinnok smirked, this would be easy. "Very well then, take me to your home."

"Follow Hulk!" Hulk said as he grabbed the former elder god and jumped to the portal. Shinnok was surprised, but he wasn't dying. He did trick everyone at the battle of Armageddon by sending a avatar, but he still needed help to overthrow Shao Khan, and advance his own agenda.

This will help defeat the emperor, and then I will rule the realms.

David's friends: John, Nolan, Sarah, Emma, Johnathan and Sebastian went to see David's grieving parents. They knew they need all the help they can, and so did they.

"Don't worry Miss Lee, I'm sure David's alright." John said.

"Oh hope so..." She sniffed. "I hope so."

It was solemn, quiet, dark. It was very bad.

"What the hell!" Mike said.

A portal appeared in the living room. Out the portal came a African-American man with an eye-patch over his left eye. He then spoke.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, have you seen a man that disappeared in a flash of light?"

"I have!" Nolan said.

"Good, tell me who."

"My son." Diana said, sniffing.

"Then I have good news for you."

"What?"

"Your son is alive."

David got the strangest feeling in his gut, waking him up.

What is it?

I dunno, I feel like something got lifted off my shoulders all of a sudden.

That's... good?

I guess.

David just went back to sleep, this place was weird already.

Intermission: What Happened

(A/N This will be a short chapter, sorry if it doesn't satisfy.)

Reed Richards had been watching the portals to other universes when he saw a few people go through the portal to Earth 115Z.

"Tony, good to see you got a few people." Richards said.

"Likewise. After we explain all of this, I'll need a martini." Tony replied.

"I'll need a drink too." Samuel said. "This kind of thing points to a conspiracy!"

"Shut the hell up Stupinger!" Misty said. "This isn't in our world, so it doesn't count!"

"You know, do you have to be an insufferable bitch?"

"Do you have to be a jerkass bastard?" Misty was now at Samuel's face.

"Why don't you fuck off, BITCH!?"

"Why don't you..."

Everyone looked to see a robed man being one armed by a giant green monster. The man spoke.

"Unhand me creature!"

Hulk looked at the former elder god, and dropped him. Hulk then walked to Tony.

"Good to see you got someone Hulk, but are you sure he saw someone disappear?"

"I am sure! He was a police officer. I am Shinnok."

"Puny man was in evil world, full of puny monsters!"

Marlton was really confused. "Wha... How... What is..."

Captain America then came out with five others.

"I'm back, and I brought company." Steve said.

"Holy crap, you really are patriotic." Dempsey said.

"Indeed. I am Steve Rogers, but you can call me Captain America."

"Nice to meet you." Dempsey shook Steve's hand.

Nice and firm handshake, this man must have been through a lot. Cap thought.

"Okay then... Russman wonders what is next, a hammer-wielding phycho?"

"I am back from my mission! I have a few people who hath been through what we hath been through!" Thor said as three people came through the portal.

"Oh for FUCK'S SAKE! Is there going to be a bunch of weird-ass people going through that portal?" Dempsey yelled out.

Nick Fury came out with 8 people, three women and five men.

"I give up."

Zelda just watched, some of these men were vulgar, but also clearly been through violence. One also resembled a moblin too.

"Well, now that everything's together, I need you to follow me. I am Reed Richards, and I'll be your guide to tell you what may have happened."

"Fine, just tell me where Nikolai is. He owes me a drink." Dempsey said.

"And my Harry!" Ginny said.

"And my son!" Diana said.

"And my land's greatest hero." Zelda said.

"And that SWAT officer will be helpful too." Shinnok said, being more capable of manipulating these mortals.

"Very well." Richards stretched his hand to the door controls and entered a code, opening it.

"Follow me."

The other humans were confused at how he stretched his arm. Tony decided to speak.

"Remember, this is an alternate universe, same rules don't apply."

The others accepted it, some were even willing to give up on moping for a while to appreciate what this place had.

"Okay then, let's explain what happened quickly before we return you to your universes, but you seven can stay if you like." Richards said, pointing at the zombie killers.

"No, we have got unfinished work there. We must go back to stop a great evir!" Takeo said.

"Very well, let's begin." Richards activated a hologram projector.

"Ahem, at approximately 12:36 p.m. in our world, a man disappeared in a flash of light." A hologram of Deadpool appeared. "His name is Wade W. Wilson, better know by his mercenary alias, Deadpool. He along with five others disappeared:" The image changed to Link. "Link of Hyrule," The image to David. "David Jesse Vulakh-Lee," The image was changing to certain characters. "Nikolai Belinski, Harry Potter and Police Sargent Kurtis Stryker. We believe that these six men ended up in the same general area."

"Wait, so you're saying, that a drunk, smelly communist ended up with a cop, a civilian, a swordsman, a mercenary..."

"One that is mentally defective I might add." Tony interrupted Dempsey.

"That's worse, and a Brit. Yep, they're fucked."

"Must you be so vulgar?" Zelda asked Dempsey.

"My world has freedom of speech, I don't need you to tell me off."

Mike shook his head. "Well tell me, can we get them back?"

"Yes, but it'll take time. At the very least 9 months to just find the world they're in." Richards said.

"9 months! My son is out there with a bunch of freaks and you can't get them until 9 FUCKING MONTHS!" Mike said, getting angry.

"You no like Hulk angry, you no like puny man angry too." The Hulk said of all people.

"Believe me when I say, they will be fine. Hopefully they didn't end up anywhere too violent." Stark said, having his armor removed, revealing casual wear.

Mike glared at Stark, then at Richards. "Do it ASAP, or I'm coming for you."

"Fine, you all can leave now. We have an expert researching these disappearances."

"Who?" Samuel asked.

"A very strange thing indeed." Dr. Strange said, feeling the magical aura from the spot Deadpool disappeared from.

"Perhaps he's dead?" Asked a nearby guard.

"No, this was not a lethal spell, but it is an unfamiliar spell."

"Hopefully we can figure out what it was."

"Yes my friend, but for now," Steven put some of the aura in a jar. "we still have work to do."

Author's Notes:

Arc 2 (Missions and Tests) over.

Blank Nightmares

David was sitting near his car with the others. No music was playing, for the six were trying to think of a plan about what they were going to do in two weeks. Well at least Stryker, Harry and Link were trying. Nikolai just drank, Deadpool was preforming katas and David...

"...and I keep saying we don't know enough about this desert to just plan ahead, I say we wing it."

"We need a game plan for this David." Stryker said.

"I agree with David, it's more fun to do it blind anyway." Deadpool said.

"DA! I'm drunk." Nikolai slurred.

"Honestly, I feel like the adult here, and I'm 18." David said, facepalming.

"Me too, and I'm 19." Link said.

"Seems like you're more willing to talk to us now." Harry pointed out.

"When Nikolai's vision is blurry and Deadpool doesn't listen to anything but words, it's necessary." Link said.

"Right, I think we need to take a break."

"How about a drive, we'll need to be sure we won't crash and burn." David offered. The other five looked at each other and nodded.

"Great, Let's go."

And the six humans got in their usual spots. David hit the radio, liking deadmau5's earlier works quite much. David hit the gas and drove off.

"Let's check out that forest near that cabin." Deadpool said.

"Why not!" David drove into the Everfree Forest and swerved around the trees with expert precision.

"Man, I've gotten better."

"At the expense of sane driving David." Harry said.

"Why doncha make this car fly then?"

"I'm not doing that."

"Your loss." David drove past a hut, attracting the attention of a zebra gathering herbs outside.

"Do my eyes deceive me now? With such speed I ask, how?" Zecora rather not think about it, she'd rather finish her potion first. It was supposed to heal ponies to full strength.

"Did I just see a zebra?"

Yes you did Wade.

I wonder if there's an African-esce place here.

Well, from what I heard, there is a lot of different places named similar to your world. We got Saddle Arabia, Manehatten, Fillydelphia...

Oh God, the puns!

Behave, or you're dumped again.

Okay, you're cute.

You're making me blush.

David just drove around, and then noticed the lack of wildlife.

"Hey, why aren't there animals trying to eat out our necks?"

"I have no idea." Stryker said.

"As long as there are no bears, Nikolai is good."

"Right..." David still didn't like the Russian, but at least they aren't killing each other anymore.

Link looked out the window to notice some corpses. He assumed they were unlucky travelers who died long ago. After all, they look very rotted, almost to bone. Then he looked forward a bit.

"Is that a town?"

The others saw what they were approaching and drove into it.

"Another pony town." Stryker said.

"Da, but why do they not have butt mark?"

Indeed, this place had no ponies with cutie marks, it was a village of blank flanks all around, and they were looking at the car.

"This... feels like we're die soon." David pointed out.

"As long as I drink, I am okay."

"Let's get out." Stryker said.

"Apple Bloom, you sure sure you saw that block thing from a few weeks ago move into this forest?"

"Yeah Scootaloo, Ah'm sure of it! Ah'll even ask Zecora if she saw it!"

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Who knows, we might find our cutie marks for this!" Apple Bloom said.

"Maybe, but this is scary."

The trio soon saw a familiar hut and knocked on the door. Zecora opened the door and was mildly surprised.

"What are you doing here Apple Bloom? High in the sky is the full moon."

"We saw a thing move through here, ya saw it?"

Zecora tapped her chin for a moment, before speaking. "I have indeed saw it, but you'd be wise not to follow with. It moves faster than you can see, and I'm not sure if it is alive and free."

Apple Bloom's ears dropped and she looked down. "So you're not telling us where it went?"

Zecora shook her head and said, "Good night my little pony, for I need sleep to foresee." Zecora closed the door. Leaving the three fillies.

"Maybe we don't need her, look!" Scootaloo said.

The other two noticed the tire tracks, and smiled.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER MONSTER CATCHERS!"

The three followed the tracks. As they did, Apple Bloom felt, uneasy.

"What's wrong, you scared?" Scootaloo said.

"Ah don't know, maybe."

"We need to catch that thing. Let's go!"

"Okay." The trio went further in, it was at that point that they were all feeling uneasy. They then noticed some noises.

"What was that?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"It seems like fireworks. We need to look!" Scootaloo dashed in, with the two others going after her. When they got there, Apple Bloom's heart sank very low.

The humans got out, it was sunny, and yet they didn't change. The humans knew this was a dead giveaway that this place was not normal. A grey pony then trotted to them.

"Welcome my travelers, my name is Grey Hoof and this is Sunny Town."

Harry looked around and said, "It is... well... sunny."

"Come, we were planning a party. You want to join us?"

Deadpool was now in Grey Hoof's face. He whispered something.

"Fuck... Yeah." Deadpool backed off, leaving the stallion confused. He then smiled.

"Come on, look around. But don't go in there." Grey Hoof said, pointing at a church-like building.

"Sacred place?" David asked.

"Yes, something like that. He he."

David looked at the radio and set it to play Aural Psynapse (Original 2001 Mix), but didn't hit play. He knew something would hit the fan soon.

"Go on now! Explore!" Grey Hoof trotted away, leaving the six humans confused.

"This place ain't right, let's get out of here." Stryker said.

"Nikolai agrees, this place, it is too cheery."

"Not to mention it's daytime, when... you know... didn't happen." David pointed out as well.

Indeed, and why isn't there any cutie marks in this village?

Something's wrong, terribly wrong.

The six looked at the church, then at each other.

"We need to find out what's wrong with this place." David said.

Link nodded, grabbing the hilt of his sword, but not drawing it.

"Good, we'll need to be inconspicuous." Deadpool said.

About 30 seconds later, the Deadpool, Nikolai and David charged in, leaving Harry, Link and Stryker annoyed.

"So much for inconspicuous." Stryker said.

"Look around, there might be vodka." Nikolai said.

The others nodded and looked around. The locals noticed the doors were kicked down and Grey Hoof went in.

Deadpool looked around and looked at the fireplace. He looked away before finally noticing something. He reached in and dusted it.

It was a skeleton. Not any skeleton.

"A child's skeleton..." Deadpool started to feel a strong rage.

Uh oh.

These guys just fucked themselves for not disposing of the body.

"Guys," Deadpool said in an unusual tone. "Look in here."

The others did so. Harry gasped, Stryker and David widened their eyes. Nikolai felt like taking a huge drink and Link tightened his grip on his sword.

"That filly was cursed, we had to."

The others looked at the voice, Grey Hoof.

"Cursed, maybe. But that doesn't mean she had to die." Deadpool said, taking out his MP7s.

"She had the accused mark, she was doomed."

"What the hell are you..." David then realized something, then summoned an AA-12. "You bastard."

Why?

They might have had a town-wide case of cutie pox, and they became fearful.

Harry drew his wand. Link drew his sword. Nikolai cocked his H115 Oscillator. Stryker entered a kombat position.

"And now that you know," Grey Hoof began to transform into a monster, with wings and a horn to boot. "We have to kill you."

"Yeah," David pointed his shotgun at the monster. "Fuck you."

David fired 4 rounds of Frag 12 rounds into the nightmare, but it didn't so much as flinch.

"Shit."

It charged, but the six rolled out of the way. They then ran out to see the entire town turned into monsters. Deadpool just aimed his guns.

"You can attack my friends, you can insult my family, you can even say I'm worthless, but when you kill children, you are all going 6 feet under."

Link was genuinely surprised at how serious Deadpool got, and even more so that he was literally willing to do it without cracking a joke.

I'm scared now.

I know these monsters are scary but...

Not at them, at Wade.

What? Oh dear.

David ran to his car and hit it.

"Alright zombie maggots, get ready for an asskicking you'll never forget, and then some."

The nightmares charged at the human, who just blew off the head of one of them in a spectacular show of bloodied mist and brains.

"Headshots work guys, let 'em have it!"

Deadpool aimed his guns and shot each one in the face. Wade wasn't even cracking jokes.

"Shit, this is not good. Wade is not funny anymore!"

"Nikolai, I wrote an S.O.S. message, I need you breath into this flame." Stryker said, holding a lighter.

"Okay, watch this." Nikolai then belched into the flame, causing a fire stream. Stryker threw the scroll in and it turned into magical ashes meant for the princess.

"Now let's go kill these things." Nikolai aimed his Max Wave Gun at one of the creatures and fired. It looked sick, then began to expand.

It then exploded.

"Ohh, smells like I just kicked ass!"

Way tah go! Stop more!

"DA!"

David changed the song.

"Bangarang." David summoned a minigun and spun it up.

Link was slicing heads off. He took out his clawshots and fired at a rooftop, grabbing it and was pulled to it. Once he was on top, he took out his Gale Boomerang and threw it into the crowd, confusing it. Stryker took the opportunity to stick a grenade in one of them and kick him away.

"HEEEEEEEEEELP!"

David looked to see three fillies running away from a nightmare.

Is that Sweetie Belle?

"Oh shit." David opened the back door and fired at the monster, literally ripping his head off.

"Get in. You five, time to leave."

"Da! These zombies are not stupid like zombies I fight." NIkolai said, punching a nightmare in the face with his Galvaknuckles and then running away. Once all nine were in the car, David drove off, changing the song.

"Oh yeah!"

The fillies were scared, but there were saved, and they found out that this thing was indeed a thing, sort of.

"You girls okay?" Harry asked.

The fillies nodded.

"Good, 'cause when you get home, we're telling you parents." Deadpool said. The fillies looked sad.

Stryker looked at the rearview mirror.

"We got company."

David looked at his and got annoyed.

"Dammit."

David opened his window and aimed an Uzi out the window, and fired without care for the world.

"DIE MONSTERS!"

"You are all crazy!" Sweetie Belle said.

"We're heroes, don't question our methods, much." Deadpool said, killing the zombie things.

"I need drink."

David drove past Zecora's hut while she was looking out the window. The monsters followed.

"I need to stop taking the powder, It is not worth the power." Zecora said, clearly confused at the sight.

David finally drove out of the forest, but the monsters followed.

"Persistent, like sixth wife." Nikolai said.

At that point, Celestia arrived with an annoyed look. She saw the car and the zomponies and sighed.

"Of all the stupidity these humans could have..." Celestia cast a spell, causing the zomponies to be flung back far into the forest. David stopped mere inches from the princess and got out.

"Thanks, sorry about... that."

"You're welcome. Please be more careful about the Everfree Forest."

Deadpool then came out. "Well they..."

"Were cursed by yours truly after I learned that they killed a young filly for finding her cutie mark, in my name."

"SO, we're heroes?" Deadpool said with a cheeky smile under his mask.

Celestia looked at David. David nodded and walked to the merc. He then grabbed his jaw and wanked it out. He tossed it aside and spoke.

"You. are. a. dumbass."

The others got out, and they were just glad it's over.

"You nine get home, you have a lot to look forward to."

The CMC looked really sad, but also really relieved. The humans just seemed annoyed.

"Right, night Tia."

"Goodnight David." Celestia then teleported away, leaving the fillies ready to take punishment.

"Глупые девушки." Nikolai said. "Let's go, we need rest from what we just been though, and... damn lost my train of thought."

"Yeah let's go." David said, getting in the car. The others followed suit and they ended up back in Ponyville.

This night was over and unnecessary. It seemed like trouble always followed them wherever they went. But they survived, and that's the important thing.

Author's Notes:

Arc 3 (Separation)

Intermission: It's Bad

(A/N This chapter is really short, but will play on later. Enjoy)

Grey Hoof landed on the ground and tumbled on the ground along with many other nightmares. Their forms dissipated as soon as they stopped. They were in pain, and something grabbed them.

Grey Hoof woke up, he was in some kind of metal cage and had a collar on. He tried to take it off.

"I vouldn't take zat off if I vere you, it's vhat's keeping you alive right now, schlangengottheit."

Grey Hoof looked to see an earth pony, smoking a cigarette. Grey Hoof lurched forward but was stopped by chains.

"Incidentally, you can't transform into your monster form, swinehund." The pony spat out the cigarette and stomped on it. He then looked at the zompony.

"Why have you put me here, you Germane bastard?"

"Simple mein Freund, ve have somezzing in common, a hatred of Celestia."

Grey Hoof widened his eyes. "I'm listening."

"I am Kommandeur Gegenangriff, the commander of the 5th battalion of Tuer la Grève 782."

"Wait, weren't you..."

"Declared as a terrorist group, ja, ve vere. Zat verdammt Princess took away vhat could have been, ze greatest fighting force in ze history of ponekind! Ve have been very bitter ever since, but vith your help, ve can overthrow zat königliches Weibchen!"

"And why should I help you to overthrow that harpy of a leader?"

"Ze princess, she is protected by six creatures, I believe you met zem already, vhen ze just defeated you, zese men!"

Gagenangriff showed Grey Hoof a picture of the six humans, the six that killed off half of the village and was able to tell the tale. It made his not flowing blood boil. It... it...

"I will help you, for revenge."

"Excellent, you vill do nicely mein toter Freund! You vill do nicely!" He pushed a button and the cage collapsed. The chains opened up and Grey Hoof was free.

"Now, let's go meet our leader. Follow me."

Grey Hoof had wondered how they knew about zomponies, but then again they were Tuer la Grève 782, the world's most unorthodox paramilitary company. After a few minutes, Grey Hoof was at the door.

"Here ve are. You're on your own. Good luck, und gehen Sie machen Ihre Art stolz!" Gegenangriff trotted away as the door opened, Grey Hoof trotted in and was met with a bright light, almost too bright for him.

The voice was compelling, so he obeyed. When he was fully inside, the light dissipated to reveal a chair and desk. The one sitting in the chair spoke.

"So, you want to have revenge against Celestia. I would ask why, but I already know you, Grey Hoof."

"What, who are..."

The chair swiveled to reveal the stallion, an alicorn with a coat as white as snow and a mane that is pure light. He opened his eyes to reveal red eyes. Grey Hoof recognized him immediately.

"Apollo, the fallen consort."

"So you have heard of me. Good, then it will make introductions moot."

"Why are you..."

"Leading this group? All will be revealed soon Grey Hoof, but for right now, I have a plan."

"What plan?"

"I'll tell you, but only if you join my cause."

"Which is?"

"To overthrow the Celestial government and take over as the true leaders of Equestria, and then, the world." Apollo chuckled. "I never took getting dumped well anyway, especially in the way she did it." The alicorn gritted his teeth, oh how he hated Celestia, and yet how he loved her as well.

Grey Hoof grinned evilly and spoke. "Deal."

"Good. You will make a fine addition to our group. You may explore now, that collar will keep that curse of yours in check. For right now, you must train. Tuer la Gieve has a saying that every soldier must recite by heart. 'Dans la rouille de la peine, nous nous lèverons des cendres!' Remember that, #1000000!" Apollo had a reason to celebrate now, Tuer la Grève 782 now was one million soldiers strong.

"Y... Yes master!"

"Good, now leave."

Grey Hoof did so, and Apollo laughed, and laughed and laughed...

Laughter.

Ready to Leave

"Final checklist: 20 liters of water?"

"Check!" David said.

"30 kilograms of dry food?"

"We got it!" Deadpool said.

"Emergency flares?"

"Nikolai doesn't know why we need them, but check. What about vodka?"

"We didn't put it on the list."

"Well why not Harry?"

"Because we're not getting drunk during this trip."

"Speak for yourself Hair-y!"

"Hey, my hair was always this messy."

"Cut it out you two. What's next?" Stryker asked.

"Hmm, some medical equipment."

Link yelled a bit, holding the first aid kit.

"Check! Okay, we're good to good."

"Saiyahar Desert, here we come!" David said.

"After we get past San Palomino Desert."

"Shut up Nikolai."

"Arrogant capitalist."

"Vodka Drunkinski."

"Bourgeois jackass."

"Pathetic hypocrite."

"Guys! Not! Now." Harry said.

The two shrugged and got it the car.

"Maybe we'll pass this Saddle Arabia and see if it's really nice." Stryker said.

"Maybe I'll get to shoot stuff." The other four got in the car as well and David hit the ignition. He hit the radio with some unusual music, for him anyway.

"We already got green lit by the princess, so let's go." David hit the gas.

"WHOOO! ROAD TRIP!" Deadpool yelled.

Now if only he would put on some of that house music.

Will be later.

Yep. Snuggles!

It's so soft and cuddly, why must you be so cute? WHY?

I don't know, I was born that way I guess.

Now isn't that cute?

Cultured DIII...

No.

But...

No.

Aww!

"Are we there yet? I need drink."

"No Nikolai."

David exited the Ghasty Gorge and was going west now.

"Okay then, I'm drunk."

"Are you ever sober?" Harry asked.

"Only if I can't get vodka."

"Believe me Harry, I'm annoyed by fat, drunk commie too." David said.

"Fuck you." Nikolai flipped off David.

"Right back at ya!" David said, also flipping of Nikolai.

"I'm going to be insane by the end of this, I just know it." Stryker said, facepalming.

It's too late for me, I find the blood and violence funny now. It scares me...

About time you showed your true colors.

Well, I may be fast and awesome, but all of this... I almost can't take it anymore!

It's almost over, just wait.

Fine.

They took a left turn and was now speeding through Las Pegasus. The locals looked in curiosity as the massive machine passed them at near the speed of sound.

"You know, I just realized something!" Deadpool said.

"What?" Harry asked.

"BYE!" Deadpool teleported out, David stopped and found that Deadpool just...

"BAM!"

Teleported back in with a bag of chips and a soda. David shook his head and drove off. Link was surprised at what he did.

"Teleporter belt, twice to be used before it explodes slightly." Deadpool said as he opened the bag of chips.

"Explode?"

"Yep! Happened 68 times, exactly."

"Doesn't that thing break?"

"Nah, it only just short-circuited 68 times, just that."

Harry just shook his head, he tried not to figure out Wade to save what was left of his deteriorating sanity.

That man is crazier than Pinkie, even down to the sanity.

No doubt.

The song ends, David chose a new song.

Sounds like Ah'm in the jungle.

I was in jungle. It was hot and humid as fuck.

Of course ya were.

David drove past the Applewood sign without so much as a second glance and was closing in on the San Palomino Desert.

"Okay guys, I found out this thing has an extra surprise in it." David pushed a button that caused the tires to protrude spikes to drive on the sand. As soon as they fully shot out, they were driving on desert.

"Fuck ATVs." David said.

"Isn't this one?" Harry asked, garnering a look from David.

"Duly noted."

David looked back at the dunes and hopped a sand wave. He was enjoying the song, it fit the environment well, and was catchy.

I'm so glad that this is almost over.

Same here. I'd kill to not worry of being cursed.

David, I... I have noticed that Fluttershy is acting strange.

Hmm, maybe she's found someone she really 'likes', so to speak.

Likes, as in, like like?

Maybe, I can't read mares, yet.

Oh dear, I wish I could ask who.

Alright.

David looked at Link, and nodded.

Umm, Link.

Yes Fluttershy?

Have you ever, saw a friend, as more than a friend?

Pardon me?

You know, a really good friend.

Please don't tell me you're a fillyfooler, I was scarred enough to know that people could... love like that.

Oh no, I'm not.

Good.

Well... um... EEP!

Oh dear... heh heh.

The song ends and David looks for a new song. He found one.

"I guess we're at the Saiyahar Desert now."

We were already there 5 minutes ago.

Really, how?

I do know geography, I have to if I want or need to find luxury cloth and gems.

Cool.

David looked out the window and scowled.

"Dammit, a sandstorm. Guess this is one of the few reasons no one made it far."

"Wait, does that mean..."

"Only if we get out for any reason. We'll be fine if we just move on. It'll be hell for my paint job though."

"I bet. I guess I'll drink to your misery."

"It's just a car man. An expensive one, yes, but just a car too."

"Okay then, maybe you are not as greedy as I thought you were."

"I'm the embodiment of corrupted generosity, you are of honesty. Harry is magic. Link is Kindness. Deadpool is laughter. Stryker, Loyalty. We are not pure, but we're not the worst."

Nikolai was silent. "Okay, I'm drunk enough to say that I didn't understand that."

"Whatever."

Link just looked outside and admired the desert nature. He sure wasn't going to worry about dying like in the Gerudo Desert.

"Hey guys?" David asked.

"What?"

"Is that a mirage, or am I really seeing a jungle?"

David turned off the radio and took a closer look at the 'mirage.' He does not know if it's real, or that he's really going insane. Nonetheless, he drove towards it.

"Well, if it's a mirage, than it'll disappear when we drive into it."

David closed in, but as they got closer, it became less and less like a mirage, and more like a real jungle.

"Oh crap, how the hell does a jungle live at the end of a desert!"

David hit the brakes, but the sand was making it less viable. The car hopped up and flew into a tree.

"Oh bullocks." Harry said before...

Jungle Fever

The car smashed through about three trees before being stopped in its tracks. It landed with a thud and the six humans were very shocked. Deadpool then spoke up.

"That went better than expected, eh Happy Punisher?"

"Happy Punisher?" David asked.

"You remind me of the Punisher, except you're optimistic and happy, and you act stupid."

"Right."

"Let's go Happy Punisher, Nick, Sargent Cop, Linkara and Dirty Harry."

"Oh great, he's calling us nicknames now." Stryker said. Link nodded, not understanding why Wade chose Linkara as a nickname for himself.

The six humans got out and noticed that it was humid. Stryker took off his armor, revealing simple clothing and a SWAT badge. Nikolai ditched his hat and jacket in favor of light soviet summer clothing. Harry stripped to his undershirt. Deadpool gets a sleeveless version of his costume and switches out his costume. Link does not change his outfit much, despite the possible heatstroke. David goes without a shirt at all, finding that he has a well-chiseled body now.

Oh my, that magic gem really changed you.

Yep.

"Let's go... that way." David said, just taking a wild guess. The others agree, with no other options and walked.

"Heh heh, reminds me of time I got in ancient temple that wasn't ancient and helped some British guy get stuck in time loop." Nikolai said, drinking some vodka.

"I'd rather not know." Harry said.

Link looked to see a river. He taps Wade on the shoulder to get his attention and points to it.

"Wow."

Nikolai ran towards it. "It's vodka!" He slurped it up. "Damn, just water."

Wow, yer pathetic.

And you are bitch.

Ah can't wait to find what we need to get.

Da, me too.

The other five took some water and looked around. David noted something off about the taste, as did Stryker.

"Is it just me or do I taste... blood?" Stryker asked.

Deadpool looked thoughtful and slurped up more water. After swishing it around in his mouth a bit, in a rather humorous manner, he swallowed and spoke. "Definitely blood. Very dilute too, so it must be upstream. I wonder if it was a jaguar!"

"We can only look, let's go." Harry said.

The six traveled along the river, seeing a few eyes among the bushes. Link had his sword drawn, Nikolai kept two guns he just found, Ultra and Violet, at hand. Stryker limbered up for combat. Deadpool drew his blades and Harry drew his wand. David cracked his knuckles. The six traveled for a few more minutes before noting something.

"Okay, we've got a cave." Harry pointed at a cave a few dozen meters above the ground they were walking on.

"And waterfall. I hope my hair doesn't get wet."

"Why?" Deadpool asked.

"My hair never looks right."

"Says the guy with so poor hygiene, even a full bath and delousing, twice, doesn't make him less smelly. By the way, you still smell like piss." David said.

"Ass." Nikolai took a drink of vodka.

"Well, let's find a way into that cave." Stryker said. "Anyone rock climbs for a living?"

"I DO!" Deadpool said, going shirtless all of a sudden (Remember readers, Deadpool's gift took away his scars) and ran towards the cliffside with a few dozen stakes and a long rope.

"Well Nikolai, hope you can climb with your fat ass." David said.

"And I will still dislike you David."

As David and Nikolai shared insults, Deadpool climbed up the wall. He took out a stake every few meters and drove it into the wall.

Almost like Minecraft.

Except more boring, and more dimensional.

Cultured DIIIIIIIICK!

Stop that!

No! It's our own running gag!

Oh for fuck's sake.

Who is this, 'fuck' person?

You're a moron, he's a jerk and the mare's too hyper. I'm done!

Did White Caption box just leave?

Maybe.

I wonder if Wade will be okay.

Maybe.

Hello, you two mind if I stay here for a while.

Who are you?

I'm one of Wade's voices, White Caption Box.

Why'd you switch minds?

He kept calling me a cultured dick.

That Richard!

Oh dear...

Deadpool tugged on the rope a few times before climbing up some more. He had reached the cave and hammered in a few stakes near the entrance and put his shirt back on.

"ALL CLEAR GUYS!"

The other five nodded and began to climb up themselves. Link went first, followed by Harry, then Nikolai, then Stryker, and finally David.

Link climbed up the rope with no problem. He had done that before.

Harry had a little trouble from inexperience, but managed to keep a steady pace.

Nikolai was struggling due to his drunkenness. How he hasn't fallen off is beyond the group.

Stryker was climbing up in a steady pace. He viewed climbing similar in tactics as with running. Watch your pace.

David climbed up with no trouble. He had to keep his pace slow as the last member though.

"Shit, this climbing thing is hard." Nikolai said. Then his grip slipped.

"OH FUUUUUUUU... Ogh!"

Nikolai looked up to see that David grabbed the drunk by his ankle. He shook his head.

"Alright already, I'll just grab onto your back."

"No homo." Nikolai hopped onto David's back and David began to climb again. Link reached the top, barely breaking a sweat. Harry made it too, but was more sweaty. As soon as Stryker got on the top, he leaned against the cave wall. Finally, David tossed Nikolai on his ass onto the ground while David climbed up. The six humans were now in the cave and were ready to move on.

"Alright... after we... rest up... we go and... see if we're right." Stryker said in between breaths. Link brought out his lantern and checked its oil level. After seeing it topped off, he readied it. The others soon recovered and began to enter the cave.

You seem good looking.

Oh, well thank you.

Yes, but I don't feel attracted to you.

Pity.

Oh man.

(A/N: Be sure to check out the humans' tumblr and the mares' tumblr as well. Christmas is almost here! And so is vacation.)

Temple of Equinox

Ambiance, the humans won't hear this.

Nikolai looked at the cave once Link lit up his lantern and Stryker turned on his flashlight.

"This place looks like home after revolution, and revolution wasn't pretty."

"I have to agree with you, this place actually creeps me out." David nervously replied.

Link found a torch and lit it. Three doors opened up and the room filled with light.

"Much better." Stryker turned off his flashlight.

"Hmm, three doors, six of us. Let's split up, Nikolai you're with me. We're taking the right." David said.

"Do I have too?"

"Why not, we need to make sure we can tolerate each other, right?"

Link and Deadpool looked at each other, with not so happy looks on their faces, but what did they have to lose?

"Link and I will take the middle road, maybe I'll find a new way to piss him off too."

Link just blew a lock of hair out of his face in response.

"Well Stryker, we'll take the left." Harry said, flourishing to the door.

"Alright, but let me go on point, I got special forces training." Stryker pumped his Remington 870 and walked over to the door.

"Nick, let's go!"

"Alright already." Nikolai and David went to the right door and opened it. They walked in and the door closed. Link and Deadpool got in the middle door. Stryker went in in a military pose while Harry followed, wand drawn.

Link was slowly walking, he'd rather not get in trouble with the merc right now. Wade however...

"I'm bored, when are we getting to the good part? Can we stop for chimichangas? Where's the bathroom? I want a basketball!"

Link tried his best to block out the merc when they reached a room that looked like some place in the Arbiter Grounds. In the room were a couple of cloaked armored creatures.

What are those?

The armor unveiled their cloaks and drew their massive swords, revealing themselves as darknuts.

"What the... Oh look, a bunch of armor freaks." He saw Link draw his sword. "Let's see... I guess it's time for..." Deadpool drew his own swords.

Deadpool charges at the left darknut while Link fought the right one. He had taken care of dozens of these warriors before, he just had to attack when it was venerable. He looked over to see Wade get his arm chopped off.

"HEY! That's my jacking off arm!" Wade took out his TDI Kard and fired at the darknut. The bullets were deflecting off the armor though.

"Hmm, I guess I'll just kill you the old fashioned way." Wade picked up his arm and put it back in place.

Wade's insane.

Yes, indeed.

Link dodged a massive swing from the darknut he was fighting and took off the last of it's heavy armor. It jumped back and threw it's sword, which sliced Wade in half.

"Oww, hey... that's my dick on the floor, and my spleen on my ass." Wade looked to see the darknut ready to finish off Wade.

Oh crap.

Quickly, use the cheese!

"Cheese! Of course!"

Wade took out his trusty and always fresh fake cheese spray and sprayed it into the darknut's face. As it wiped it off, Wade put his body back together. As soon as the darknut was ready to fight, Wade charged and sliced off the rest of the monster's armor. It threw his sword and drew it's backup.

"Well then author, I'd like some ambiance music now."

Link looked at the nimble darknut and narrowed his eyes. Wade did the same as Link. They both charged.

Link swung his sword, but was blocked by the weapon of the monster. It swung, but Link rolled out of the way and behind and did a spin attack.

Wade slid between the darknut's legs and stabbed the general area of the testicles. It was super effective.

White caption box doesn't know what he's missing.

Link smacked the darknut with his shield, before doing his helm-splitter technique. The darknut fell to it's knees and then exploded in a cloud of darkness. He looked to see Wade decapitate the enemy after kicking it in the testicles.

"And you thought it would die the usual way for me, eh readers?"

I did.

And you're an ignorant fool.

With the monsters defeated, the door in the room unlocked.

"Shall we Linkara?"

Link just shook his head, Deadpool was bloody strange.

David and Nikolai were walking around in the temple aimlessly. David was at least looking rather focused.

"Hey Nick, what's with that?"

Nikolai looked to see something hidden behind some bushes. He moved it to see something strange. He did not know why it was there in the first place.

"Hey hey, it is power switch, but where is handle?"

David looked to see that it was a power switch, and there was no handle.

"Look around, maybe we'll find it."

"Hmm, these words confuse Nikolai."

"Nikolai, those are carvings of what we need." David said as he noted that a terminal, a handle and strangely, a hand was needed to power on the temple.

"Oh, well I'm drunk!"

"Whatever. Let's go looking."

The two went looking in the dungeon, David found the hand and the switch. He put the two together and was still so damn confused at why he need the two to be together. Nikolai found the terminal and the two came together. Nikolai put the terminal in and David finished the switch.

"Hit it?" David asked.

"Da!"

Nikolai hit the switch. And then a voice came, then another, then another.

*Groan*

RAGGH!

SAM!

RA Ra RAHHHGH!

"Fuck." Nikolai said.

"What was that?"

"Just kill what comes at us."

And then the zombies came.

"Zombies, I need headshots."

David summoned an MG42 and aimed.

"MORE DAKKA!"

I vant to go home!

Ahh!

"Stay away from my vodka!"

Harry looked around, he had just saw statues come to life and Stryker beat them up like they were fleshy. He was hoping this wasn't going to end badly.

WRRRR

"What the?"

As the noise finished, the temple lit up, revealing that this temple wasn't as old as they thought.

"What the?" Stryker said, turning off his flashlight. He saw a old radio and activated it.

Doctor Richtofen, how are you?

Good Doctor Maxis.

I trust you gave up on the pointless teleporter projects I assume.

I thought about what you said, and I've... come to agree with you. It is way too complicated anyway, too much work.

Good to hear. Edward, I've been thinking of getting my daughter something for her birthday, any suggestions?

There is nothing like a good German Shepard, but the final choice is up to you Ludvig.

Alright Richtofen, if I find out you've been disobeying orders, you will be terminated, understood!

Yes Doctor!

Good!

*Walking noises*

But that doesn't mean you'll find out about my experiments.

Stryker had listened very closely didn't know what to think.

"Who was this Maxis?"

Harry shrugged, the nearest door unlocked and opened, revealing tunnel with symbols along the walls of a hand holding an atom with the number 935 in it.

"This is strange indeed."

As the two walked, something crawled along the vents.

Crah crah crowe...

"Huh." Link blurted out as the temple turned out not to be so old.

"Hey look, a radio! I wonder if it'll play Wolfgang Gartner." Deadpool said as he turned on the radio.

Entry number 7624D, date: August 23rd, 1945!

Dear diary, today I have learned that Dr. Maxis has taken my teleporter ideas after finding out that they work. He has already built a prototype at Kino der Toten and at Der Riese. Needless to say, I'm pissed. But acceptable losses, for today, I have entered an alternate universe! I found out after roaming around this ancient temple and avoiding the traps. There are colorful talking ponies everywhere, and it's very bright. It disgusts me! I have plans for this world, but first, I need to find out how to get back.

Link looked at Wade, who just had a thoughtful look on his face.

"My sexuality is banana."

Link deadpanned and just walked towards the next room. When he entered, he noticed that it had about 39 Dynalfos.

Why must you torment me so Din?

Oh no! Link, be careful.

And then Deadpool came to the area wearing sunglasses, a vest and holding a boombox. He hit it!

Link was confused as was the monsters as Deadpool began to dance.

Link was confused at why Deadpool was dancing like he was on a horse, and what was that language?

Link was at the exit of the room, and the monsters, were joining in!

I... I... What the HELL!

Deadpool was at the exit with Link, and the creatures actually did not attack the duo, they actually were saying goodbye.

"You were great! Thank you!" Deadpool said.

The duo left the room, and Link was confused to the point where even he did not know if he still had his sanity left.

"That was fun, eh Linkara?"

Link did not respond. Not at all.

Nikolai and David were fighting zombies. Nikolai had touched a rock and some music suddenly started.

"What the..."

"This song speaks to Nikolai!"

Nikolai began to drink as the song went on.

Even your world has such vulgar people.

Yeah, but hey! I like it.

Small wonder I like you.

Yep!

Is it over?

"Great, now that that's done, let's get the fuck out of here!" David said.

"Fine, I'm drunk."

The duo ran as the zombies gave chase.

Stryker and Harry were running away, why?

"We have to make sure those crawling things don't reach us!" Stryker said as he shot a gas zombie dead.

"Oh God, that smell!"

Gross.

"Stryker, there!" Harry said as he pointed at a hidden wall. The two ran through, unaware that they were activating traps and dodging them, the zombies were hit however.

"Keep running!"

The floor collapsed under them as they ran. They landed hard, but they found the other four. Link looked like he was broken, Deadpool looked cheeky and the other two...

"Ugh, what the hell are you two doing?" Stryker asked.

"Making sure zombies don't eat us." David said, taking the full force of the smashing of the door the were holding closed. "Wade, cut off your arm and leg."

"Why?"

"Distraction, idiot!"

"Alright, but it better not cost more than the arm and leg." Deadpool then took out his katana and cut off his leg, then his arm. Stryker grabbed them and tossed them to the drunk.

"Throw 'em Nick!" David said as he opened the door. Nikolai obliged and threw them out the opening. The zombies then followed the meat.

"Good, let's get the fuck out of here!" David said.

The other five nodded and they dashed out.

The six appeared to have entered a sanctuary of some sorts, and in each pillar was some kind of gem. They were colored: A purple one that David walked to, a pink one that Link walked up to, A blue one that Wade teleported to, an orange one that interested Nikolai, a red one that Stryker took a look at and a violet one at the center that Harry went to.

It looks so beautiful.

Must, smash!

What?

Author wants us to destroy this.

Kay.

I'm enjoying this.

Oh mah goodness, this feels funny.

I feel angry at gem, must be because I'm drunk. I'm breaking this gem.

Wow, that looks awesome.

Ugh, why am I reaching for my grenades?

Link, are you okay?

No, I'm going insane! I feel like breaking this gem for no reason!

Link!

Harry, I know what to do here, destroy them.

Yes, it's what I'm feeling right now.

"Guys, the sun's rising!"

The others looked to see the sunrise. They decided to just follow their instincts. They took the gems and dropped them to the floor. David stomped on it, Wade jumped up and opened fire, Link took out his ball and chain and swung it down on the gem, Nikolai took out a China Beach and fired, Stryker fired his M9 into the gem and Harry...

"Confringo!"

Caused the gem to blast away.

The sun rose and the six fell to the ground in agony. They were changing. A flash of light enveloped the room.

Rarity got up, coughing. She looked to see her friends getting up rather weakly in a dusty room. She stumbled over to them.

"Girls, I think that failed."

"Oh no." Twilight said.

"Well ain't that just sad." Applejack pointed out.

"Oh no!" Fluttershy mumbled.

"Aww, that's just great!" Rainbow groaned.

"I know right!" Pinkie responded.

"OHH, my head."

The six mares turned to see some figures walk out of the dust. It was the six humans.

"Wha... OH MY GOSH! WE DID IT! Oh this calls for a party!" Pinkie said cheerfully.

"Yeah, hold off now, my head is killing me, ow." Wade said.

How do I cure headache?

Aspirin.

How'd you get back?

I got forced back.

Oh man, maybe you were a...

Shut. The fuck. Up.

The six humans and six mares smiled, there was much to do now. They began to walk out.

"Hold on, you are not going anyvhere, svinehunds."

The twelve looked to see a grey Earth Pony with a dual swords cutie mark and a cigarette in his mouth. He had a short cropped blood-red mane, a black right eye, and a green left eye.

"Who are you?" Nikolai asked.

"Me, I am ze one who vill kill you! Tuer la Grève 782! Assemble!"

The room filled with red clad mercenaries, holding enchanted blades and surrounded the group of twelve. Harry could only speak two words.

"Oh bullocks."

Showdown

Stryker looked at the general in his eyes, and saw a passionate evil in his soul, a ruthless warrior's spirit.

Much like Baraka.

"Who are you?" Stryker said, pointing his Remington 870 at the earth pony.

"I am Kommandeur Gegenangriff, und you have killed some mien troops for ze past few veeks."

"Tuer la Grève 782... Pff, they ain't so tough." David said, summoning an M1014 shotgun.

"On the contraire, ve are ze most advanced und trained strike force in ze vorld! Or at least ve vere, until you svinehund came here and ruined it!"

"Große Sache! Sie sind noch ein Esel?" David said in an attempt to intimidate the commander. It failed, it just made him angry.

"Such disrespect, Small vonder vhy ve vanted you dead."

"Gut sage ich dieses…" Deadpool said, getting the attention of the others. "BUMSEN SIE SIE ALLEN!"

Deadpool leaped in the air began to fire indiscriminately. When he landed, the others began to enter fighting positions, but the bullets barely hurt the enemy.

"Magical armor."

David charged at the Minotaur enemies and summoned a large broadsword and sliced their heads off. He knew that any armor that didn't break had some weak points, like the necks.

Stryker took a grenade and threw it at a large group. It exploded and the group died. It was the shockwave that did them in, the armor did it's job of preventing shrapnel injuries alright.

Link took his bow and arrows and used his Hawkeye as well and aimed for the eyes to the enemy.

Whoosh!

An arrow hit a changeling in the eyes, killing him.

Harry rather not use any unforgivable spells, so he used others.

"Aresto Momentum!"

Harry saw a thrown sword fly towards Wade. He used the spell to reduce the velocity of the blade. It hit Wade, which merely annoyed him.

"Time for a hyper combo!" Wade threw a flashbang into the air and it exploded and... HEY, WADE!

I just need to borrow this keyboard. Ha!

Here you go.

Thanks. Nikolai was using his Galvaknuckles to fight off the warriors. He found out that they had armor that did stop bullets, but not blunt force drama and electricity. He punched a gryphon in the face and gloated.

"None of you can beat me while I'm drunk!"

Deadpool approached Link and noted how the shield never broke.

"Hey Linkara, you mind if I try something?"

Wade grabbed Link's shield and spun it on Link's arm. He then jumped into the air and fired onto the shield, causing ricocheting bullets to hit mercs in the eyes.

"BITCHING!" Wade landed on the shield and jumped off. The two looked at each other and nodded.

David and Nikolai both had Galvaknuckles and looked at each other. David grabbed Nikolai

"I'm going to throw you."

"I do not like flying!"

"Too bad, get ready to punch!"

David threw the drunk at a young dragon. Nikolai was scared, but he prepared for a punch and hit the dragon in the face.