An Island, Two Mares and a Bottle of Rum

Chapter Twenty

The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions and Bad Puns

***

Vinyl eyed the wooden door with determination. That was it. The final frontier. The last boundary between their current forsaken position and a nice evening in Manehattan with her marefriend and, by extension, Lyra and Bon-Bon.

"So, we gonna do it or what?" Vinyl asked the mares around her and, receiving approving nods, held her breath for a moment, determination building up inside her. For the foursome.

Without knocking, the white mare threw the door open, entering the small deck cabin. She was instantly met with the sight of shelves filled with various books, none of which seemed to have ever had been opened, not to mention actually read. Though, I suppose, captains don't read books, Vinyl mused. They're too busy... captaining. Doing captain-y stuff. Like smoking pipes and drinking rum.

Thinking about rum made Vinyl sombre and wistful. Her whole body craved to consume the flamy, burning liquid. She could almost feel the rum sliding down her throat, forming a warm, pleasant environment inside her belly... Dear Celestia, I'm addicted. Vinyl sighed. Great, now I'm addicted both to sex and rum. Hope Tavi will never know.

"May I help you, ma'am?" The voice belonged to a gruff stallion, his coat a dirty brown, his mane greying with age. He was puffing on a pipe as he sat at a small wooden desk filled with maps, papers and something-or-the-other that Vinyl couldn't recognise due to her lack of a degree in marine science. If there ever was such a degree.

This must be the captain, Vinyl assumed, proud of her Sherclop-Pones-tier deduction powers. Or was it induction? One way or another, Sherclop Pones was certainly wallowing in whatever detectives wallow, in the wake of his being outshone by such intellectual brilliance.

"Well, yes, as a matter of fact-" Vinyl began, but was cut short by Lyra, Octavia and Bon-Bon all sliding into the room, right after a very peculiar stallion. His right fronthoof was identical to his right hindhoof in the way that both were absent, replaced with wooden prosthetics. His right eye was also covered with an eyepatch; and, to complete the picture, his right ear seemed to be missing.

"Lieutenant Hay reporting, sir!" Lieutenant... Hay? Vinyl thought with a snicker. Well, if my parents had named me that, I'd have run off to enlist in the Navy as well. "I have found that our whole crew-"

"More like, 'Left-tenant'," Vinyl snickered, making the stallion turn towards her sharply.

"Yes, that is my rank," the lieutenant bellowed, making Octavia and Bon-Bon flinch and take a few precautious steps back.

"No, I..." Vinyl stammered, not noticing the desperate waving of hooves coming from her marefriend and potential sexual partners. "I mean, you've got, like, only the left of your body, right? So, that's, like, a pun..." she finished lamely. Yeah... It sounded better in my mind. Actually, to think about it, everything sounded better in her mind. Even Octavia's moans of passion during love-making. Vinyl made a mental note to talk about it with her mare. Or a psychiatrist.

"I lost my limbs in the Great Griffin War," Lieutenant Hay remarked grimly. "It's no subject of jokes."

Vinyl began to realise, slowly but steadily, that it was high time she apologised; and also retreated back to her room, for the lieutenant had noticed their little affair, and the knowledge of who had done it would soon reach him, one way or another. Also, he didn't look like a stallion to be either seduced or knocked out. The overall gruffy-ness (if gruffy-ness was the word Vinyl wanted) of the stallion could get him a medal. Actually, he probably had one. Or a few, given that he'd participated in a war...

"I'm sorry, man," Vinyl amended. "What I mean is, you're all right..." Damn! The stallion's glare hardened. "I mean, I'm sorry that that's all what's left of you..." Damn! Damn damn damn! The stallion was glaring daggers at Vinyl. She looked hopelessly at her slowly paling marefriend. "Sorry, I'm sorry, man! See, I'm not very righteous..."

***

"You know, on second thoughts, this was a bad idea."

"Of course it was!" Octavia yelled, balancing on the narrow wooden plank. "We were made to walk the yard because of your stupidity!" The sea beneath the plank growled menacingly, with only the tip of the plank on board, held in place by the grim lieutenant. Lyra and Bon-Bon were cowering next to the musical mares, on the edge, water licking at their hooves.

"Jeez, Tavi, are those your final words?" Vinyl pouted. "I'd like to get a 'love ya, babe' before getting eaten by the sharks!"

"If the sharks don't kill you, I will." Octavia glared at her marefriend.

"T-the sharks?" Bon-Bon stammered, hugging Lyra tightly.

"Yes, the sharks." The lieutenant frowned. "Let's see what will be left of you after they get a taste."

Damn, he's plainly evil, Vinyl thought in irritation. Also, he's utilising pirates' methods without being a pirate! That should count as breaking copyright or something! As evident, Vinyl's knowledge in Law was just as limited as her knowledge in anything apart from DJing, having sex with Octavia and drinking rum.

The lieutenant tapped on the plank, making it wobble. Bon-Bon shrieked.

A sound of a gunshot pierced the air. The lieutenant fell down.

Bon-Bon shrieked. Octavia felt her blood run cold. Out of the corner, a familiar pony came onto the deck. The stallion was wearing a black garment, a triangular cap barely covering his crimson-red mane. Smiling at the mares, the red-bearded unicorn revealed a set of golden teeth. Vinyl squeed upon seeing a parrot on his shoulder.

"Me name's Cap'n Jeffrey, ladies, iff'n ye forget, and me and me parrot's come to save ye."