An Island, Two Mares and a Bottle of Rum

Chapter Thirteen

That One Point Where the Excrements Get Real

***

"Vinyl, can't you just stand still?" Octavia grunted as she vainly tried to groom her marefriend's spiked mane. "What have you done with your mane so it always stays like this?" she wondered weakly, placing the brush onto the tiny bed with a sigh.

"It's alcohol, Tavi," the DJ explained cheerfully, smiling at her mare with a 'you-so-silly' look. "When you drink a lot, it makes some chemical reactions and stuff, and - bam! - you have an awesome mane, like mine!"

The cellist facehoofed at such idiocy. "Yes, sure, and I'm Princess Celestia's niece," she replied sarcastically.

Vinyl gasped. "You are?! I've been rutting the Princess's niece all this time?!" she exclaimed in awe. "Wow! You know what that calls for?"

"Me kicking your flank?" the cellist growled, nearing her marefriend, squinting her eyes in a dangerous glare.

Vinyl staggered back, waving her hooves in the air. "No! Tavi, no! Don't touch me with these sticky hooves of yours!"

Octavia stopped, blinking in amusement, even lowering her Striking Hoof of Justice. "Sticky?" she clarified as her brain struggled to find a foundation for Vinyl's phrasing, which was a very difficult task itself.

"Well, you've been clopping with those hooves recently, so, naturally-" the DJ began with a sly grin but was cut short as a furious ball of grey fur and muscle leapt at her, pinning the poor mare to the ground.

"Do you know what I do with funny unicorns?" the cellist growled, nibbling on Vinyl's ear.

The DJ took it as a good sign - if she ever was good at reading signs - so she decided to play along. "What?" she wondered, grinning.

"I rut them to death~" Octavia pressed her lips into her marefriend's fervently, making the white unicorn moan in delight.

This is the best punishment ever, she thought. I have to tease Tavi more...

"What a noble death."

The cellist rolled over with a yelp, falling to the floor from the eminence of her mare's body while Vinyl blushed profusely, turning her head to the door, where a familiar mint unicorn was standing, her hooves crossed in the same peculiar manner as the night before. How the hay does she bend her hooves like that? the DJ mused, trying to copy the gesture but failing miserably.

"Who are you?!" the cellist shrieked, vainly trying to cover herself with her hooves, as if she were embarrassed about her being naked. Which would be totally silly, given that she was naked all the time, save for her pink bow tie, which she was wearing even now.

"Ask your marefriend," Lyra replied with a shrug, not changing her pose that looked more and more appealing, at least from Vinyl's point of view.

"Vinyl?" Octavia glared at the DJ suspiciously. They didn't- Did they?!

"Tavi, I didn't!" the white unicorn exclaimed, taking in the possible implications. "I would've never commited adult- adulte- ad- this adult thing," she finished with an embarrassed smile. "You know what I mean."

"The word you want is 'adultery'," the mint unicorn supplied, finally standing back on all fours. "And no, I did not partake in any sexual activities with your marefriend," she addressed the cellist, eyeing Vinyl from the corner of her eye. "Though, if it were not for my mare, I would have gladly considered a menage a trois, given that you are both quite fitting." She tossed the mares a wink, making Octavia flush with embarrassment, while Vinyl hopelessly tried to get a grasp at the fancy words.

"A mewhatnow?" the DJ asked her still blushing marefriend, giving up any attempts at understanding foreign (and long!) words.

"It means..." Octavia whispered, averting her gaze. "A threesome."

Vinyl's eyes lit up in anticipation. "Cool! Me, you and Lyra? Where and when?"

Once again, Octavia'd proved that The Striking Hoof of Justice wasn't called The Striking Hoof of Justice for nothing. Vinyl sat on her haunches, rubbing her aching forehead. Adding 'Never piss off Tavi' to the list of things-not-to-do, she thought lamentably. Oh, who am I kidding! It's so much fun!

Octavia shifted, occupying a prim and regal pose. "I do not want to be rude..." She eyed the smirking mint mare. "But what are you doing here?" she demanded in a rather harsh tone, which, to her, was somewhat justified, for this unicorn had not only entered their room without permission, but also interrupted... some pleasant business.

"Oh, nothing, basically. Just..." Lyra stood up on her hindlegs, crossing her hooves again. Does she do that often? Octavia wondered idly. "I have a matter to discuss with you."

The unicorn smirked confidently.

"A business affair, if you wish."