Help me, please.

Just, god why me? I hate this, I hate this so much, I’m scared and worried and nauseous and… just…

Ugh. Sorry, let me back up.

I was born… wait, not that far, you don’t care about that mess. Okay, I’ll keep this basic, because honestly, I don’t expect you to care about most of it.

I was once human.

Somehow, someway, I woke up as a fucking black and red Alicorn in Equestria. And despite being panicky, despite being an admitted asshole and mildly anti-social… I’ve gotten a massive party thrown for me by Pinkie Pie (admittedly, this isn’t a big deal), multiple requests to be part of my ‘herd’, and apparently I’m suddenly "best friends" with the mane six within the hour.

Faster than Rainbow Dash, stronger than Applejack, more powerful magically than Twilight, better artist than Rarity, better with animals than Fluttershy, and everyone thinks I’m funnier than Pinkie Pie. The moment I do something, I do it better than anyone else.

And everyone loves me for it.

Somehow. Someway. Everyone loves me, they think I’m funny and silly and oh so cool. Dark and mysterious and debonair.

Someone, anyone, please help me.

I’m a Gary-Stu.

I live well outside of Ponyville in a small house, one I built entirely myself without magic. It was simple, but sturdy and homey.
I was proud of it, because whatever this magic had done to me that made me succeed at things so easily hadn’t affected my building skills. I was as good as I’d ever been at building things like this, but no better.

There was a large garden and storage shed out back for the enormous number and variety of presents I'd received over the past two years. This is probably a lot creepier than it sounds at first.

I had a fan-club. A very large one. That I got gifts from every day.

Those stalkers you hear about getting arrested? Or for those huge events that the media likes to focus on who scream and act like total idiots? Yeah, those?

I had those.

It's not fun. Or empowering. Or an ego boost. Or any other positive thing you can think of, it’s just creepy. And honestly, more than a little scary and depressing.

Because they loved me… and they loved me fanatically. Despite not having done anything to deserve the affection. In spite of my attitude and actions, they loved me, they adored me. And it terrified me. Because it was a creepy, terrible, smothering love where mares would get uncomfortably close and proposition me... where I would find gifts at every corner, where their eyes would glaze over and they would smile wide at my approach. A love where I would worry that my ‘no’ would be less than ignored.

The only thing that kept them from getting insanely excited was calm, polite, and actively stated disinterest, and even that was iffy. The effect was so strong and far reaching that even here in my home, it still occasionally could reach ponies in Ponyville despite the wards and magic Celestia had helped me erect against it.

So most of the time, here I stayed, well outside of Ponyville and as far away from other ponies as I could stand, well behind layers of magical barriers.

Was it lonely? Fuck yes. The only pony that could get through was Pinkie because Pinkie, and she didn’t do so very often. I think it’s because some part of her recognized what the curse was doing and tried to stay the hell away.

I cannot overstate how much I appreciated that. I honestly can’t.

Most of my days were spent in contemplation, exercise, meditation, studying what books on magic I’d rented from the library, and generally being a lonely, nerdy, antisocial punk. Though the thought of combining 'nerdy' and 'punk' brought a smile to my face at the silliness of it. I tried not to brood, but I did... a lot. I decidedly did not consider myself emo, because I hadn’t given up on trying to find some way to cancel out what had been done to me to make me an Alicorn Gary-Stu.

Sadly, today was not one of those days of isolation.

Alicorn I was. Immortal I was not. Well... not in any way I was willing to test at least. I still needed food. And while, in theory, I could grow my own, doing so left a bad taste in my mouth... metaphorically speaking, the food itself was delicious.

Which was most of the problem really. I’d really enjoyed growing things and making my own food from scratch before all this mess, but now… now it was something that my stupid ‘I'm A Gary Stu and Better Than U' thing enhanced to stupid levels. Anything I grew, grew faster, tastier, bigger, and all around better than anything else. Y'know, just 'cause. And… it didn’t feel right anymore. I couldn’t just grow apples, not anymore, I had to grow apples bigger and tastier and all around better than the Apple family's.

Because, y’know, Gary-Stu.

Urgh.

So here I was, walking through town and picking up my necessary supplies while ignoring the small throng of fanmares that always followed me around in civilization.

“Gary!”

I closed my eyes to suppress the unpleasant shudder. At one time, I would’ve loved to hear someone, anyone, say my name like that. But now? Knowing that I didn’t deserve it, let alone from someone like Applejack? It was a little piece of torment.

“Hello Applejack. The usual please,” I kept my tone particularly neutral.

Still, she tittered like a schoolgirl, “Ya sure? That… special is still avail-“

“No. Applejack,” I ground my teeth, clenching my eyes shut tightly, “The usual. Please.”

I couldn’t… I couldn’t stand that vacant expression. It was lusty, worshipful, and essentially mindless… I hated to see it on such beautiful and otherwise intelligent mares. And yet... in a way, I was grateful for it, it made it much easier to turn down their surprisingly tempting offers.

What? Yes, I used to be human. But when four females that your hormones scream at you are beautiful who have wonderful personalities basically beg you for a fivesome? You tell me that isn’t tempting.

But despite being tempting, I scowled at the mare, because I knew I hadn’t done anything to deserve her affections, and whatever she might’ve felt otherwise, this was fake, a product of whatever fucked up reality warping my Gary-Stu status caused.

“Awww… alright Sugar, if y’er sure…”

“I’m sure Applejack, same as I have been the past two years.”

She pouted, and thankfully, as cute as she was, I’ve never been affected by cute-faces unless I wanted to be. So I was able to get my basket filled with apples without succumbing to her ‘feminine wiles’. I slipped the apples into my saddle-bags with a nod, paying her the appropriate amount of bits and heading off.

I dodged and weaved through the mares practically dancing about me, offering to carry my basket or go get me my list or other such things. It all blurred together honestly. And as tempting as it was to just step over them since most of them would barely have had to duck their heads to get under me, I’d learned a long time ago that such an action would lead to… consequences. Such as getting orally molested.

I really wish I was making that up.

Regardless, I was able to work my way through my personal crowd to Surgarcube Corner. Now, I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, but damnit, they made oreo-equivalents that were to die for. I could have asked them to just send them to me, but I liked to bring them the business of my throng of fanmares. It made me feel like I was doing something at least vaguely honest to do a little bit of good.

Admittedly, it didn’t make much sense and was more than a bit stupid... but I clung to that happy emotion, those brief little bursts were practically all I had... damnit.

Pinkie Pie bounced slightly behind the counter as I approached, “Welcome Bestest Friend!”

I cringed. Pinkie had some good days and bad ones. Sometimes, it almost seemed like she saw through the Gary-Stu-ness Effect (hereafter referred to as The GSE because Gary-Stu-ness Effect is way too damn long) and actually saw the scared, angry, and frustrated person beneath. Other days, she seemed to be just as swept up by its insanity as the rest. Today was one of the latter.

“Afternoon Diane.”

She grinned wider, “Ooh! Ooh! What’ll you have? The strawberry muffins? Or maybe blueberry? Or purpleberry! But we’ve got some-mmmph mmmph mmmph~”

Despite the hoof over her mouth, she kept talking, her eyes sparkling. It was a… to put it poetically… balm on my soul that at least some parts of her personality were preserved despite the ridiculous things the GSE made her and others do, “Just the usual Diane."

She smiled behind the hoof and zipped off to the kitchen, sound effects included. Heh.

I rather deliberately ignored the fanmares around me and put my hoof back down, keeping my head tilted down enough to keep my absurdly long horn from scraping the roof.

“Omigoshomigoshomigoshomigosh-“

… fuck.

A blur suddenly pressed up against my side and I winced. Not because it was unpleasant, far from it. But because of the implications of the squealing and giggling that accompanied it.

“Afternoon Miss Dash,” very carefully, I pushed her away with my hoof. It was a bit uncomfortable to reach back like that but… wings were a bit of a… thing… for Pegasi, and if I’d used my wing she’d have gotten… well… excited about it. Yes, that’s inneuendo. No, I didn’t mean to do it the first time. Yes it had been super awkward.

“Omigosh! Hi! I didn’t know you were going to be here today! I mean- I just if I had I’d have totally gotten you some clouds ready! Have you learned any new tricks? Huh? I’ve got that one you showed me down pat finally! Maybe you could show me more? That’d be so cool! And radical and awesome and completely unbelievably cool!”

I cringed more and more as she spoke. This wasn’t Dash, not really. I wasn’t a Wonderbolt, I wasn’t that cool, I wasn’t really some prince, hell, I hadn’t even done anything to earn this reaction.

Had I saved Equestria from multiple nameless horrors spawned by the GSE? Yes.

Had those fights been awesome? Admittedly, most of them were.

But the key point here was that Rainbow Dash had acted like this within a minute of meeting me for the first time, which had been before I’d done anything in Equestria other than babble like an idiot, freak out, and go ‘Huh…? Wait, what? Wtf?’.

“No Miss Dash, I haven’t learned any new tricks,” that was the safest response, I couldn’t think of ways to address her other questions without showing a vague, maybe-sort-of-there interest, which would have been bad, trust me.

Suddenly, I felt her cheek rub against my own, her wing flapping against my neck as she pressed up against me while hovering, her voice was soft and husky as she whispered, “Maybe I could show you a few new ones then~?”

I’m pretty sure my muzzle turned a shade of red, because it definitely felt extremely warm.

My mouth worked silently as I tried to formulate a response, something that was far harder than it should’ve been at the moment, but I was saved by the sudden, noisy arrival of Pinkie Pie, “Here ya go! Pinkie Pies Extra Special Frosting Cookies~!”

The pink mare bounced off the counter, then off of Dash’s back before landing on my own and dropping the carried bag of delicious cookies into my saddlebag, thankfully dislodging the pegasus in the process. I shot her a grateful look even as she clambered up over my head to get back behind the counter, and I liked to think there was a softer, more real smile behind those eyes that knew what I was thanking her for.

And then she spoke, “There ya go! You suuuuuuure you don’t want something more?” she wiggled her flanks, her smile going from happy-go-lucky to saucy and then down to ‘Take me now stud’ over the course of about three seconds.

Aaaaaand I was gone. Bits still spinning on the counter.

Pinkie Pie after you is one of the most terrifying things you’ll ever encounter, provided you don’t want to do anything like that with her. Thankfully, if I left early like that, I could get away before the GSE really kicked in.

‘I’m about to rape you’ Pinkie Pie is just about as scary as I’d expect a legit Xenomorph to be if not more so. No, seriously, it’s terrifying. I was actually thankful for the speed the GSE gave me. As stupidly blatant and silly as a crimson and black "Rainboom" is, it was the only thing that kept me from being… well, screwed.

I only slowed down once I was well away from the Sugarcube Corner, my fanmares left far behind. Somehow, I’d lost Rainbow Dash as well, I think she was still dazed from acting as a Pinkie-Springboard.

Panting slightly, I slowed to a trot, running through the mental checklist of things I needed to do in town. The less time I was here, the better. Smaller chances of world-ending catastrophes happening just so I could solve them because GSE.

…

So much of my life revolved around handling the GSE or avoiding causing the GSE…

Someone, anyone, please… help me.

Fanmares.

Why me.

Mine are worse than the stereotypical teeny-bopper screaming 13-year-old fangirls. Mostly because these didn’t just try to molest me. They had some actual skill backing it up. That and tranquilizers. This is scarier than you’d think when you’re surrounded by fanmares with nothing but your wits to protect you. Time for me to get creative.

“Look! My un-taken younger brother!”

Read: Stupid.

*Fwumph*

And reliant on immense GSE magical reserves and GSE induced skill to teleport away.

What? I never said I was the element of honesty.

Regardless, now I’d have another issue.

“Gary?!”

A purple and pink and ridiculously powerful issue with OCD.

“W-What brings you here?! Oh! I’m sorry about the mess! I didn’t realize you’d be- Oh, I’m so sorry! Spike! Take a letter! And clean up these books. And I’m so sorry, Princess Celestia hasn’t responded about taking you on as a student to and oh-! Um, right- um, what would you like to drink Gary? Or eat? Or-or-“

Thankfully, when said issue was off balance and fawning over me, things were manageable, and she was rather cute. It was when she tried to seduce me that there were issues. Twilight was probably the hardest pony to resist and keep off of me when she got going.

Thus, I had to keep her off guard if I wanted to get through this day without a purple unicorn trying to get me in bed. I thumped my hoof against the floorboards, “Miss Sparkle.”

“Yes?!” she squeaked.

I focused, feeling the books in my saddlebag with my power, pulling them free with my magic and setting them on the desk, “My returns. I would like the next set.”

“R-Right! On it. Right away!” and she was, snatching the books off of the top of the library desk and sweeping them off into the library proper. I kept an eye on her as she moved, and not just because I loved watching her flanks.

See, I had to keep an eye out for-

I stomped my hoof, “Now would be nice Miss Sparkle.”

“Eep! Yes! I’m sorry!”

A part of me died every time I did something like that. But damnit, going through books always calmed Twilight down. And a calm Twilight was a bad Twilight for me. Fucking GSE. I’m serious by the way. She’d almost gotten me to marry her, unbeknownst to me, seven times already. And that’s the milder end of the scale. She’s also a mean potion brewer.

Aphrodisiacs and Love potions have been used. I’ve never slipped up. We’ll leave it at that.

Thus, I had to keep her off balance. Had to. I didn’t… couldn’t… really fight her off. It wasn’t in me. Jerk and asshole I may have been, but I couldn’t just hurt people.

“Here they are! Omigosh I’m so sorry it took so long, I’ll be faster next time I promise and-“

“Thank you,” quick and terse, the response left her temporarily speechless. I crushed the sympathy that swelled in my chest. I couldn’t afford it. My ear flicked back, the sound of numerous hoofs beating on the ground approaching. Great. My fanclub.

Focus followed by levitating books soon refilled my saddlebag with further books on the magical research into multiple dimensions as well as curses and blessings that resembled the GSE I was afflicted with. Once secured, I promptly teleported again with a soft *fwumph*.

Just because my reality sucked right now, didn’t mean I wouldn’t strive my absolute hardest to find a way to make it better. To break this curse and actually live a life once again, rather than just exist around this stupid Gary-Stu-ness I’d been afflicted with. And damnit, I was no Twilight, but studying the fundamentals of magics and curses like this was at least a step in the right direction to doing something about it.

My magic deposited me on the outskirts of town, and I went over my mental checklist. Food for the next two weeks: Gotten. Research Material for the next two weeks: Gotten. General materials such as spices and soap: Gotten. Food for Droolykins: …

… damnit, knew I was forgetting something.

Yes, I had a pet. No, it wasn’t a dragon or griffon or even something like a wyvern or other ‘awesome’ animal. It was a cat. A gray, boring looking one with mismatched eyes that almost acted more like a dog than a proper feline. Who liked to drool everywhere and preferred to snuggle between my wings on my back and fall asleep. Who also liked to walk around with a balled up sock in his mouth, meowing at me to play with him.

Yes, I played with him, he’s ridiculously cute.

Yes, he’s quite derpy, but I love him for it.

Yes, I named him Droolykins.

No, it’s not a manly name. But my cat sure as hell doesn’t mind, so bite me.

But I couldn’t exactly grow cat food. And I hated fishing with a passion, so I relied on the not-inconsiderable skills of Fluttershy and the reserves of food she kept for animals.

This, unfortunately, was the cause of my current predicament. I was staring down a panting Fluttershy.

Someone, anyone, help me.

I’m an intelligent, clever, devious little asshole, and I needed help. Now.

I was dealing with an assertive, angry demoness with horribly written dialogue and an absurd DOOM-Stare.

Only horny.

This was not as fun as it probably sounds.

“Love me.”

“I’m only here for Droolykins food Fluttershy.”

“I want you to love me.”

I didn’t move, hell, I couldn’t move. But damnit, I couldn’t give in. I couldn’t.

If I did… with the GSE… this would be no better than rape. Both mental and physical. It’d be no better than drugging her up and breaking her mentally.

I wouldn’t.

I couldn’t.

I’m an antisocial jerk, not a fucking monster.

I clung to that, that reminder that this wasn’t Fluttershy, and that my resistance was the only thing protecting her, the only thing keeping me from being the worst kind of monster.

That desperate, if true, thought, was the only thing keeping my resistance.

“I’m here for food for Doolykins Fluttershy. Nothing more.”

“You’re going to love me,” she’s closer than she was before. Fuck. She’s slowly walking towards me.

I snort and force my hooves to move me backwards, it feels like lead weights have been wrapped all about them, it’s sluggish and slow, but I’m considerably bigger than the yellow pegasus, and my sluggish backwards gait keeps me a good distance fro-

… that’s a tree behind me isn’t it.

Fuck.

Somebody, anybody, please… help me!

“Fluttershy…”

“You’re going to mount me.”

“Nnng…” my brain tried to make my mouth work. It’s one word. One syllable. Two letters. Move the tongue and lips and form it damnit! I don’t want- Not like this! I’ve resisted this long! Come on! Work damnit!

I felt tears at the corners of my eyes.

Work! Tell her! Stop her! Something!

Help… I don’t want… I don’t want to hurt her…

Her nose presses against my own, her eyes staring deeply into mine, that terrible force pinning me in place. I can feel her hot breath against my muzzle even as I try and keep my breathing under control.

She began to turn around, her eyes still locked with mine, tears beginning to fall from my eyes.

“THAT IS ENOUGH!!!”

A veritable shockwave knocked me over, and the much lighter yellow pegasus was swept up in the wind.

I was stunned for a moment before a flash a brilliance swept over me, the world lurching as I was rather forcibly teleported.

It was then that I recognized the voice and the magical power. Princess Celestia.

I shook my head and righted myself, keeping my wings spread low to the ground as I lay there. It took only a moment before I saw the tall, regal form of the Princess of the Sun.

I turned and bowed my head low to her, keeping myself on the dirt, “Princess.”

“Emeris.”

I winced, both at the name and her tone, she sounded furious, “Yes, Princess?”

No, my name isn’t Gary. But call me stupid or foolish or whatever, but I didn’t want my name associated with this… abomination… I’d become. The other ponies used Gary, but Celestia used my name.

“What were you doing with my little pony?” her voice was soft, controlled, without the slightest waver, and every bit as menacing as a roiling sea of plasma barely contained by gravity.

I looked up, ridiculous crimson eyes meeting her own.

Suddenly, I felt very, very small, and very, very weak.

Her iris’ blazed with the fury of the sun barely contained behind them.

I trembled, my eyes closing as hot magical power pricked against my skin like a wave of fire ants, barely suppressing a whimper. I drew in a shuddering breath, carefully forcing down the fear, the urge to look away, and opened my eyes, meeting her gaze, “I wasn’t doing anything. I was trying to resist Princess. But… I wouldn’t have gotten away, I wasn’t strong enough. I’m sorry.”

She sneered, and I almost cringed away, “So the one time you aren’t strong enough for something is when it involves taking one of my little ponies?”

Yes. Because I wasn’t perfect. Because I was tired, emotionally beaten. Because Fluttershy is just hard to resist in the first place.

But I didn’t say a word, and didn’t break her gaze.

Because she already knew that.

Celestia looked away first, glaring at a nearby tree instead. It was at this point that I noticed that her flowing mane was practically whipping about in the solar wind, blazing gold.

The offending tree caught fire. Literally.

I laid my head down entirely, closing my eyes. Whatever was left of the bloody tears I’d shed only moments before had been evaporated by her glare, leaving trails of salt on my cheeks.

The white alicorn let out a sigh of frustration, turning back to me, “You were resisting to the best of your ability?” it wasn’t really a question, she already knew the answer.

My eyes opened again and I looked at her sadly, “With every bit of myself, Princess. I’m sorry. It wasn’t enough. I’ll…” I paused, thinking for a moment, “I’ll just order food for my cat from her, have it dropped off outside of the barrier or something…”

“That would be best.”

I winced at her tone, looking down and accepting the admonishment, my wings quivering in submission.

Could Celestia beat me? Maybe, I wasn’t sure. Probably. Did that matter? No. Because here was one of the proper rulers of Equestria, one of the most powerful beings in this world, and the only one I knew of that was able to resist the GSE.

She didn’t treat me like gods gift to the world. She didn’t worship me or mindlessly love me. Hell, she didn’t even just hate me without good reason. Even now, she was angry because I’d almost failed, I’d almost hurt one of her little ponies, because that had been far, far too close.

And she was mad because I, in some sick, twisted, stupid little way, I appreciated being treated like dirt. She knew it and never held back her irritation, her anger at my actions.

Because I knew she was addressing me, I knew I was being admonished for something I’d done wrong and deserved, and a part of me was so impossibly grateful for it. I wasn’t a masochist or even that much of a submissive, but I didn’t want to be loved all the time, not in such a false way.

I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all…

Ugh. I felt emo and stupid.

A hoof began to rub through my messy mane and a sigh escaped me, and I realized that I was trembling far less. Urgh, how pathetic could I get? A lot more, and I knew it.

“I’m sorry Emeris,” the Princess’ voice was soothing and gentle as she rubbed my mane like I was a foal, even though I was actually as tall as her. Then again, her birth certificate would’ve had five digits for her age and I barely had two, “I am not truly angry with you–“

I snorted.

There was no need to open my eyes to feel her scowling at me, “Oh come on… you’re angry, justified in it, but you are angry Princess.” The ‘Don’t lie to make me feel better’ went unsaid, but not unheard.

“I do not hate you young one.”

My lips quirked up in a smile, “That one I believe…” The hoof stroking my mane thunked down on top of my head hard for that one.

We stayed like that for several moments, Princess and Pet.

The realization hit me, like it always did.

I had been yelled at, felt like I was going to die, nearly been incinerated, and was still little better than a quivering mess before a goddess that only tolerated my continued existence because she was essentially the epitome of good and I had sworn my soul to her service.

And this was the closest to honest happiness I’d had in the past month.

Somebody, anybody… please… help me.

The plate floated over to the Princess, Droolykins curled up between her wings on her back.

Lovable little traitor. Hope he drooled all over her back.

“So, fortuitous timing of your arrival aside, what do you need of me Princess?”

She arched an elegant eyebrow at me even as her magic enveloped the plate of cookies and brought it closer, “Whatever makes you think I came for you Emeris?”

“You followed me inside instead of just escorting me home.”

Celestia hummed at that, eating one of the cookies.

A sigh escaped me as I sat across from her, snagging a cookie for myself.

Eventually though, after the tea had come out and a second plate of the cookies gotten filled and slowly emptied, she spoke again, “I have need of your power, Emeris.”

I scowled slightly in confusion, “Princess?”

“You are the only one with the raw power and…” she seemed to search for a more tactful word before just saying it truthfully, “Blood-lust… to accomplish it.”

My scowl deepened, “Princess, whatever can I do that the Elements of Harmony cannot? Anything I accomplish will be all over the headlines, and it will all get attributed to me…”

“I am aware, in fact, I am counting on it.”

A blink, “… I’m sorry, run that by me again?”

Celestia smirked at me, “I want you to go, and handle this with every bit of flair and reality warping as your curse can provide.”

My mouth worked silently, my brain working slowly, “… why?”

“I am having you deal with an elder dragon that has been encroaching upon Equestrian borders.”

“… but…" my brain struggled to understand, this was a political play, not merely a military one, so why... "Don’t they need to see you as powerful and terrifying? Not me?”

“Of course, and what else could I be if I am ordering around the Alicorn of Terra itself?”

That was when it clicked.

She was using me as a pawn… and making it obvious to political figures that I, powerful enough to move around mountains, manipulate lava itself, and create volcanos from nothing… that I was essentially her bitch to order around. What did that imply about her?

Vicious, manipulative, ever so slightly subtle… but layered. Depending on how this went, it could imply that I’m a vicious dog, kept on a tight leash that only the Equestrian royalty held.

I loved it.

“But…” stupid mouth, still working when I should be a good dog, shut up, and just go fetch, “… what if this backfires? You know full well how crazy my curse can act… making me the center of attention and awe…”

“I do have contingencies, Emeris,” her smirk was enigmatic and mysterious.

“That you’re not going to even hint to me.”

“No.”

“… so be it. I am eternally at your service, Princess of the Sun,” I stood, flexing my wings slightly, a giddy sensation trembling in my chest, here was a chance to do good for others that wasn’t initially spawned by the GSE in the first place, “Where is this dragon which needs to be introduced to the power of my curse?”

The white Alicorn smiled, sipping her tea.

I was her dog, rabid and dangerous, being let loose from its leash.

And I reveled in it.

Some fun facts:

Dragons are Immune to Fire and Doesn’t Afraid of Anything.

Dragons aren’t Immune to Rocks and are Huge.

That means they have huge guts.

Rip and Tear.

Anyways, despite what people would say, the fight wasn’t all that interesting. Impressive? Oh Celestia yes. But not interesting.

I tried talking to the elder dragon, but my social skills are… mediocre at best. And it doesn’t appear that I’m a ‘Purity Sue’, and thus causes everyone to lurvles me forever despite how much they hate me while converting my enemies because they’re just so misguided.

That, and when I fly over a town still trying to clean the blood from the streets and crushed houses being rebuilt? My hesitation to hurt someone tends to fade considerably.

So, when the dragon had attempted to force a confrontation, I’d just ripped a bunch of jagged boulders from the mountain side and beat it with them. An animated avalanche was impressive, but… not a whole lot to talk about. I just stood there, my horn bright with power, and beat the crap out of the dragon. Yes, it was about as subtle as taking a brick and slapping someone in the face, but that’s what Celestia wanted. And I made sure to mention working for her, doing her bidding, and other such to the dragon in the Royal Canterlot Voice so that anyone within miles could hear me.

Was it perfect? No. But subtlety on command wasn’t exactly one of my strong points, y’know, just in case the animated avalanche wasn’t enough of a hint.

Regardless, I hadn’t killed the dragon, that would’ve defeated the purpose. I did send the massive scaled thing running with its tail between its legs. And yes, I made sure to fix the mountain back up after I used it to beat up the dragon.

The... scale of what I had done, so casually... it overwhelmed me when I thought about it after the fact. I'd used a mountain… to beat up a dragon the size of a high-school football stadium… and this was not surprising in any way, shape, or form to me, nor would it be to Celestia.

Someone, anyone, please… help me.

I don’t want this, I’ve never wanted this, not really.

I’d wanted power in my life, but never much. I’d wanted to have an effect on history… not make it. I’d idly considered what it’d be like to have the power to shape the world at a whim.

But to be able to literally move mountains? To be a force of nature nearly as much as Celestia or Luna if not more? Never. I’d never wanted that. It was too much. Too much temptation. Too much responsibility. Too much everything. I'd wanted to be a hero, not a god amongst men.

And yet… here I was. Flying through the air towards the palace after breaking up a chunk of a mountain, using it to beat up something that was almost more landscape than living thing, and then put it back in place, good as new.

How fucked up is that?

“Princess,” I bowed low in greeting and held the position, my horn barely above the tile and my wings spread out and held low.

“Gary.”

Gratitude, brief as it was, surged through me at the use of my pseudonym. There were more than a few nobles in the room for the Day Court, and I didn’t want my name getting out amongst such gossipy idiots.

“Your will has been done, Princess,” what can I say? I enjoy being mysterious. Wizards prerogative, and I’d always wanted to be a wizard.

“Then you have accomplished your task to my satisfaction, young one?”

A part of me squealed happily as I tuned out the murmurings of those around us, focusing my senses on Celestia alone. It was a game, to see who let it slip first. I’d lose, but it’d be fun to see how long I could keep up.

“I have fulfilled every criterion you had set out for me to the best of my ability, Princess.”

“Mmmm… has he been… handled?”

Still too easy Princess, “I was able to… encourage… him to leave, Princess.”

It was annoyingly hard not to giggle and dance in place. Not because of some ‘Oh! I’m a guy! I’m too masculine for that!’ thing, but because it’d ruin the act and I was having fun. Silly, pointless fun, but fun.

“Then my message was delivered appropriately?”

“I had to be a bit… rough… but yes, Princess. I have delivered your message as requested.”

“Delightful, your quarters have been prepared. I shall summon you again when I have need of you.”

I dipped my head lower, the tip of my horn accidentally scraping the tile. That was a dismissal if I ever heard one, and I was out. I backed away from the royal alicorn, still bowed low. Ten steps back by the front right forehoof if I remembered correctly, then stand and turn, walking out with head held high.

Since I didn’t feel the tangible pressure of Celestia’s disapproval when I did so, I assumed it was close enough.

By the way, dodging insane fanmares is creepy.

But dodging insane fan-stallions is a lot creepier, and not just because I don’t swing that way.

Because all of the same things were there. The same attempts at molestation. The same mindless, going-through-the-motions attempts to have my attention, the same worshipful expressions that made me die inside, the same gifts and presents and songs about how we’ll be together forever because Twue Wuv.

But the mares usually didn’t try to proposition me… or mount me… or sing horrible songs while playing a ukulele to try and woo me.

Key word being ‘usually’.

At least I can vaporize a strap-on that a mare is wearing.

That is not one of my (admittedly numerous) fetishes, thank you very much.

Shining Armor in particular was disturbing to have to dodge. I know he’s a married stallion for Celestia’s sake!

So I was very happy when I was able to slip away after getting him talking about the mechanics of the magics behind the shield he had created. Dick move, I know, but I’d already heard it, and between him and the other guards, I felt like I was a slab of meat at a carnivore convention.

That’s particularly disturbing when you’ve been a herbivore for two years.

And now? I was hidden away in my quarters in the palace. Saying that my ‘quarters had been prepared’ was a nice way of saying ‘Go to your prison room, a mile beneath millions of tons of rock and stone of the mountain and as far away from Canterlot proper as can be safely achieved without sending you all the way back to Ponyville’. Obviously, she wanted to talk to me still about something, but we had to mitigate the effects of my curse.

The GSE was reduced with distance, and neither Celstia or I wanted the GSE affecting those in Canterlot any more than necessary. I always drew monsters as well. Even down here, I occasionally had to fight nameless horrors, usually mighty worms or wyrms tunneling through the ground. Only my house, behind some of the most powerful wards and magical barriers in Equestria, was I safe from them.

This, thankfully, was at least reasonably cool, if a bit frustrating and tedious. At least I didn’t have to worry about hurting someone, as the creatures spawned by the GSE to ‘show off my l33t skillz’ tended to be mindless. I didn’t care for hurting things, but some ridiculous and stupid part of my consciousness didn’t mind killing non-sentients.

I sighed, pouring myself another cup of tea in the rather spartan room. Stupid tiny cups, always getting in the way of my addiction.

I honestly felt like a monster sometimes, despite assuring myself with cold hard logic that I wasn’t. At least not in the way my emotions thought I was.

“Emeris.”

“Celestia?” Man I was out of it, I hadn’t even noticed her come in. Blasted existential crisis, ruining my situational awareness like that.

An elegant eyebrow was arched and I corrected myself, “Princess Celestia.”

A small, amused smile graced her face as she sat down across from me, a tea poured for her silently.

Neither of us spoke for a while, I was content to just be near someone without being propositioned in some fashion, worshiped, or getting into a brawl. Besides, starting this conversation was royal prerogative, not mine. And of course, I obviously had no idea what to say, so there was that.

Social awkwardness passed off with patience go!

“Emeris.”

“Yes Princess?”

“You’re not going to ask?”

Mentally, I searched for what she could mean, though my response was evasive, “It felt improper.”

“Your curse played out exactly as I expected.”

Oh, duh, the plan. Man I felt stupid. Still, a smile crossed my face, “Good. I was worried it’d do something weird.”

“Mm. You had no idea what I was asking, did you?”

“Not a clue,” I said cheerfully, pouring myself another cup. What were these things? Shot glasses? I totally needed to bring myself a proper mug next time I visited.

An amused smile crossed her face as she sipped her own tea.

Silence reigned for a time. Celestia likely enjoying the brief break from the tedium of the court and nobility with someone that knew how to shut the fuck up. Useful skill that one. Learned it at a young age I did.

Hrrrmmmm, Yoda my mentor was not, I assure you.

Though that would have been really cool.

“Emeris.”

I opened my eyes, taking in the Princess’ far more somber and serious expression, “Yes Princess?”

She was silent for a long moment, the white alicorn setting her cup back upon the table, “What if I told you that we had found a way to break your curse?”

My jaw dropped.

A thousand thousand emotions flashed through me, each fleeting and powerful as my mind raced but no coherent thought went through it. But there was a theme: Happiness and disbelief.

After who knows how long though, I was able to push that back, swallowing slowly, “I…” something was wrong… why did she ask it like that… “I… would say that I’d be elated… almost… overwhelmed… that’s what I want… hell, it’s what you want as well… exempting situations like before of course…”

Celestia nodded slowly, apparently expecting that answer. Her eyes were hard as they bore into my own, her tone as frozen as the furthest reaches of the north, “And what if I said it meant sawing off your horn?”

“…” my jaw worked soundlessly as I processed that information, “I-I… I… would ask t-to be warned before such… Princess… I… I don’t know how to feel about that…”

“And if it meant having to take off your wings?” When’d she stand up?

A small squeak escaped me at the thought, “I-… I…” I swallowed again in spite of my suddenly dry mouth, “I think I would have to request your research… Princess… and exile myself to find another way.”

She was encircling me now, terror was settling in my gut as sweat began to trickle down my back, this… this wasn’t the Celestia I’d come to know over the years, “And if I did not let you?” Her voice was low, dangerous.

I tried to swallow again, holding perfectly still, “I-… I-… I would have to ask why… Princess.”

“And if it was because you were too dangerous to be let out from under my hoof?”

Belatedly, I realized I was trembling like a leaf, “T-Then… then I would have to…” a deep, shuddering breath, “Then… we’d have it out, Princess.”

She was in my face, eyes simmering, “Here and now?”

I squeaked, barely keeping myself from scrambling backwards, “Y-Yes, Princess… but-! But… I’d really rather just exile myself… Princess,” I scrambled for something to say as her eyes burned brighter, “I don’t want to fight you Princess… I don’t want to hurt anyone… I just want to live instead of exist… but not at the cost of your ponies…”

The mighty Alicorn of the Sun didn’t back down.

“Please Princess… if we fight, there’ll be so much devastation… it’ll destroy the city… ponies will be hurt… please…” I was crying, when had that started, “Just let me leave… no pony will ever see me again! I won’t come back until I find a way to break my curse! Just… please…” I was begging now and didn’t care, “I don’t want to fight you… I don’t want to hurt anyone…”

Something soft touched my nose, something clicking as it came in contact with my horn. Slowly, I realized that my eyes were closed even as Celestia, the goddess that had been about to incinerate me, cooed softly, nuzzling me gently.

My thought process, what little there was, ground to a halt. I… I didn’t understand. My emotions were in turmoil. I was afraid, my insides clenched in a knot of fear, confusion run rampant, I wanted comfort, I wanted everything to be alright, I wanted to not be guilty about her being correct, I wanted her to not be angry with me anymore.

“Princess…?” my voice was little better than a strangled whimper as I tried to keep myself together.

“Calm your heart, my not-so-little pony.”

That did it.

The dam snapped. She’d never claimed me as one of her own. Not once. And whatever tenuous hold I had on my emotions shattered as I began to bawl like a child.

My head was tucked under her own, her chin resting atop my head, my horn off to the side. Her wings encircled me, hugging me close as tears flowed freely from my eyes. I had curled up against her, crying desperately as I hugged one of her legs tightly, desperate for comfort, for reassurance that someone was there, that she wasn’t angry, that everything would be alright.

A small traitorous part of me whispered in the back of my mind: How pathetic. Here I was, terrified out of my wits by one of the most powerful beings in Equestria… and now I was being comforted by the same being like a mother would a foal.

The rest of me reminded that part that I needed the comfort, so my ridiculous macho-issues could go crawl into a fire and die.

I sobbed quietly against her, whimpering as the tension and panic slowly faded from me. The mighty alicorn murmured soothing nothings into my ears, holding me close even as I got her white coat damp with tears. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, mighty sun goddess comforting an undeservedly powerful and confused former-human, but in time, my sobs faded into occasional sniffles, the deep ache in my chest subsided to a far milder version, and my trembling ceased.

It was only when my breathing calmed that Celestia spoke actual words again, her voice soft and soothing, “Do you know why I did that, Emeris?”

Despite my best efforts otherwise, in my emotionally drained state, I couldn’t come up with anything, so after a moments contemplation I shook my head.

“I had to be sure. Sure that you weren’t lying to me. That you truly wanted this curse gone-“

Something between a sob and a laugh escaped me, “And how in the hell did scaring me senseless accomplish that? Celestia, I thought I would have to fight you.”

“No, it did not. But even when truly thinking you were going to fight me, you did not attack, you made no aggressive moves, and you still showed concern for those above us.” Belatedly, I realized that she was gently stroking my back with her wings, I was surprised I hadn’t noticed that, “It also told me something very important. Even when threatened, you will not attack a pony. This is crucial for what I have found to work.”

Something stirred in my chest, “… you’ve actually found a cure…”

“Yes.”

“A-… a way to break this curse? To make me a normal pony? Or turn me into a human? I–…” I cut myself off, letting the Princess explain. My brain was rattling around in my head, trying to make sense of the emotional rollercoaster it had been put through.

“It will burn away one of the three traits you carry, either the strength of an Earth Pony, the horn of a Unicorn, or the wings of a Pegasus. You will still be a pony, and a hybrid at that, but it will burn away this curse with it.”

A small, happy sob escaped me as I clung to Celestia. Freedom, in my reach? A life? Friends? But something nagged at the back of my mind, “I… you use the word burn…”

“Yes.”

In a way, I appreciated that she let me figure it out, as the few pieces I had fell into place, “It’s going to hurt… isn’t it…”

“Everything I’ve seen indicates that the agony will be unimaginable… and that if you break the circle, it will be wasted.”

“… and with the power of this stupid curse…”

“It will be trivial to break free and cause untold devastation if you do not keep yourself under control.”

I swallowed, not even willing to contemplate the destruction I’d cause. Volcanos were terrifyingly easy for me to create. I could recreate Mt. St. Helens. With some effort, I could create blasts worth of a Spirit Bomb. An accident or slip of control at that level... “I–… I understand… Princess…”

“Then gather yourself, my not-so-little pony,” her wings uncurled about me, letting me (albeit reluctantly) stand again, “I shall gather the necessary components of the ritual.”

I blinked, “Just… just like that?”

The white alicorn’s smile was gentle, “I have not doubted you are worthy of the efforts to break this curse, not for a year. The only question was whether you could control yourself.”

“But…” another confused blink as I tried to process it all. She’d been furious with me yesterday, she’d jumped straight to the conclusion that I was taking advantage of one of her little ponies and the power of the GSE to ravish one of the elements of harmony… and she’d not doubted me?

“I have been afraid of you succumbing to the temptations of your curse. Of your resolve weakening that fraction enough to let the worst happen. But that does not change your worthiness.” Damnit woman-… mare, stop reading my mind! That’s my schtick!

I scowled at her slightly, shaking my head in disbelief. Urgh. I had a bit of an understanding of women, but multi-millenial goddesses of the sun were apparently outside of my relevant range. Accounting jokes. Gotta love’m.

Celestia smiled gently, scratching behind one of my ears with a hoof, “I trust you.”

As a bit of pride swelled in my chest, I couldn’t help muttering, “… I need a freakin neck brace around you…” A delicate eyebrow was raised, and I finished the thought, “Mood whiplash doesn’t even begin to cover it.”

Another smile, and damnit she was doing that on purpose. Gah.

I’d found an emotion to settle on: Nervousness.

We were leagues away from any signs of civilization, and by we, I meant myself, both of Equestria’s Diarchs, and all of the Elements of Harmony.

I was sitting in a circle of runes, basins of multicolored fire had been lit around me, and the sun and moon both hung in the sky in a beautiful twilight. It actually kind of scared me that it would take this much power to break my curse, but I trusted Celestia, no matter how much of a pain in the ass she might be at times.

The mane six had taken far more assurance, from both Celestia and myself that this would be fine, that I wanted this, and that this was the right thing to do. Especially Twilight. I think she understood what the spell was better than I did, and in there I think I saw a very honest concern for me, not caused by the GSE or the GSE’s self-preservation.

Now that had worried me, and despite my best efforts otherwise, I was still fidgeting in the circle. As a human, I’d liked moving around and fidgeting, but I could force myself very still when I had to. In this body though, my wings or tail had a tendency to disobey, twitching and ruffling when they really shouldn’t have.

The mane six were taking up positions in front of me, Celestia and Luna taking up another set of positions behind me, forming a rough triangle of the three strongest forces I knew of in Equestria.

Hoo boy, this… yeah, I’m officially sweating.

Celestia was the only one here immune to the GSE, but while the mane six were fully under its damn power, Luna had a considerable amount of resistance to it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough for her older sister to risk letting us hang out, and after seeing her eyes glaze over once during our brief interactions in the palace, I had been far too terrified of doing that to her to contradict those orders.

“Princess…”

“Yes Twilight, I am sure about this. Gary is very sick, he’s been affected by a far more dangerous and powerful version of the Want Me Need Me spell, and it will take the combined power of the Elements of Harmony, my sister, and myself to undo it.”

“That’s… that’s a lot of power to direct at one pony Princess. Even one as amazingly powerful as Gary…” A cringe from myself and Luna, but Celestia, the focus of the conversation, had a perfect poker face.

“I assure you Twilight, anything less would not affect this spell.”

The purple unicorn looked to me pleadingly, “Gary…?”

I grinned wide at her, fluttering my wings pleasantly, “Don’t worry Twilight, Celestia’s right! I trust you.”

“But…” it was Rarity this time, “Aren’t you scared?”

My grin widened, “Not a bit! Ready when you are~” Blatant lies! Yaayyyyyyy.

What? I’ve already said I’m not the Element of Honesty.

Celestia had walked Twilight through the spell, and the details of the spell went well over my head. I understood enough that I didn’t need the simplified version she gave the others, but that level of magical theory went well over my head. As in, almost completely over my head despite the GSE and studying this kind of stuff for two years.

I’m not stupid by any stretch, but fuck, Twilight blew me away.

Regardless, my part in this was probably the simplest. Stand there and don’t move. The easiest job was that of the Elements other than Twilight. They just had to focus on their elements while Twilight did all the heavy thinking. The three most powerful spellcasters I’d had the pleasure of meeting had the toughest job, they had to guide this spell to unravel my curse without atomizing me.

No, that was not an exaggeration. Celestia had tried to hide it behind advanced language, but she’d forgotten that I was learned enough to understand that much. If they did this wrong, I’d be literally atomized and removed from existence.

Thus, no matter how much I trusted the trio, I was just kinda sorta totally freaking out at the moment.

“Are thou ready?”

“As I’ll ever be Princess~” Which was, on a scale of 1 to 10, a 3.

Yes, I use horrible running commentary in my head to stay calm and chipper in times of extreme stress, how’d you know?

Slowly, the elements of harmony on the mares necks (and gaudy crown thingy) began to light up, the mares in front of me beginning to lift in the air. A blaze of golden light appeared in the corner of one of my eyes, Celestia’s warm power washing over me. Silver light, softer and gentler than her sisters, but Luna’s power was almost frigid in comparison as it seemed to creep into my veins.

Okay, not too bad yet, I’d put this at a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10 of discomfort.

Then there were more rainbows in the air than just Dash.

I’d seen the Elements of Harmony in action before because GSE. But… I’d never been on this end of it. It’s a lot scarier from this end. The amount of power in that rainbow, even from over here, was… staggering.

I thought I was powerful. Hell, I thought Celestia was powerful.

This?

This was on a completely different scale.

And I was on the wrong end of it.

I was pretty close to shitting my metaphorical pants. Because imagine your big brother or some bully or whatever is appropriate sitting on your chest. Now imagine two of them. Now imagine someone sinking hooks into your guts and pulling them out while replacing them with cold, hard rocks. Now imagine that someone lit a bonfire in the base of your skull, and that you know exactly where it’s coming from. That’s about as close as I can get to explaining what it’s like to someone who can’t sense magic because ho-lee fuck.

Normal magic was sparks in the back of your mind, and more powerful magic felt like a lighter back there. Not really unpleasant, but very definitely there.

This was like a bonfire… in my skull… and holy shit it’s about to hi-

…

Whoa.

It hurt, but it was like a hot shower, or a rough massage, or that bit of pain as a chiropractor works or a hot spring and just… wow…

It was… I was within a kalediscope of color and power and overwhelming magic and it was unbelievable. I couldn't see much outside of the swirling, multicolored bonfire except for some vague shapes.

I was in pain, but it was only a 4 or a 5 on my scale, and I’d experienced a solid 9 as a human, so this wasn’t too bad.

And then Celestia said something, and I realized that the spell hadn’t actually started. They’d just been engulfing me in the proper power.

Then the spell started in earnest.

…

I…

I was on the floor…

Pain…

I couldn’t…

Thinking is hard…

I thought I knew pain...

I–

I’m sobbing… and thrashing…

So much-

It’s like fire ants, crawling in my skin, eating me alive, crawling through my veins and biting every inch of the way and oh Celestia stop it-

My bones–

The pain–

Why–

This–

It feels like white hot needles are prying my bones apart and cracking them to pieces–

God–

My wings–

My wings–!

They were burning away.

They were burning away!

I could feel them! They were burning away!

Oh god–

No!

This is wrong!

They were messing up! They were atomizing me! Wings first!

I–

The–

Stop it! Please!

Someone!

I just–

How long?!

How long is this taking?!

This is wrong! It’s–

I can’t think!

I can feel the feathers burning away! Stop! Stop!

Ripping–!

I’m being ripped apart!

I was crying, tearing apart–

The world was shaking–

No.

The world was really shaking–

It was an earthquake–

That’s–

I was thrashing–

No–… stop–… I had to…

A sob as I burned–

I forced the power away.

Not the Elements, not Celestia, not Luna–

Mine. My power. I was using it, but–

No, I shouldn’t be–

They didn’t want me to–

Even if I died, I couldn’t–

I screamed, feeling the bones of my wings burning away, molecule by molecule.

But I buried it, every bit of my power, buried it in my skin.

The magic followed, diving deep into me to burn the power out.

But I kept it buried. I couldn’t let it out.

And then it was over.

The pain was gone, leaving me a trembling, sweaty wreck on the ground. Oh god, why…

It was all gone, all of the pain, leaving me aching and trembling and sweating and cold. Why had it hurt so much? What had I done-? Celstia-… Luna-… why? That had been worse than everything else combined. That had made cracking out wisdom teeth with pliers and ineffective anesthetic seem like a pinch.

Just–… why?!

There was a hoof on me, and a choked sob escaped me at the aftershocks it caused.

Someone was speaking, I couldn’t hear the words though…

Trembling, I lifted my head, which felt like a lead weight. Something brown fell across my eyes… was that… my mane?

A white hoof hooked around my head, gently cradling the overly heavy appendage, brushing against my horn. My head was gently turned, the world was fuzzy, but the white and Technicolor blob couldn’t be anything but Celestia. But what was the green…?

… that was me.

My coat wasn’t black… it was blackboard green… my mane wasn’t red... it was brown… I didn’t have wings… just a horn… Celestia was so much… bigger…

I wanted to laugh… to cry… to scream… but only a small, happy crooning escaped my throat before unconsciousness began to claim me.

And as the world fell away, an ecstatic thought crossed my mind.

Someone had helped.

And I was free.

Author's Notes:

This is something that popped into my head and refused to get out: What happens to the world, realistically, when a character is a Mary Sue or Gary Stu? What happens when someone is made into a one? To have that distorted, terrible, mindless impact on the story and characters, the be just better than everyone else at whatever you do... and yet still be yourself beneath it all?

And now we move on to the story proper, an analysis of the aftereffects of being a Gary-Stu. I've hope you've enjoyed the fic so far!

Fun fact: This is not going to be pleasant for Emeris.

Critiques and constructive criticism are appreciated, be as harsh as you feel! Telling me what you think sucks helps me a lot!

Anyways, until next time!

Autobots, roll out!