Ohshitohshitohshit! Okay, what the hell do I do now? God, it feels like my heart is auditioning as a bass drum for a heavy metal band! Okay. First things first, I need to calm the hell down so that I can think about this! A couple of deep, shaky breaths and I feel just lucid enough to analyze the situation.

Well, one thing I could do is go check on her... Yeah. That sounds like a great fucking idea! She probably expects her 'jailor' to check in now that she has made some noise. I know I would, if I were her. Waltzing in there would just be asking for a telekinetic choke hold a la Darth Vader.

Waiting here for her to find me while pretending to be asleep sounds safer. Ponies seem like the types to ask questions first and attack helpless victims later. Though if she does turn out to be hostile, then feigning sleep would be the worst idea. She could just use my own blankets as weapons against me. I would even come pre-wrapped! I didn't want to be caught with my pants down - figuratively of course; I prefer sleeping with my pants on. With my adrenaline soaring I'm pretty sure that it would be impossible for me to lay still long enough.

Other options? She might just hide out in my room. There are no monsters in there at the moment, so it is comparatively safe. Or - my brain train kept right on running - she could be more hurt than I thought and is unable to get herself up and about. I could wait here and accomplish nothing more than just letting her suffer. How would I know?

Maybe I should call out to her. Or not! It is not like she would understand me if I asked whether she was okay. Goddamnit! I am getting nowhere fast.

I suppose I could meet her part way; knock on the door or something. At least then I would be safely behind the hallway wall. But then, if action movies have taught me anything, it's that hiding behind the wall would just get me the magical equivalent of a shotgun blast. She's the good guy here, so shooting me through the wall would clearly work for her.

Oh God, I need more time to think about this!

I decided to sit up, which was a start. The shifting of my blankets was not any louder than Craig's snoring, so I doubted the pony could even hear it. My mind was still racing back and forth between the options I already imagined, but it was getting nowhere fast. There were so many ways I could do this, and so many ways it could go wrong. The big thing was that I just did not know. Would she hide like Fluttershy or jump to the offensive like Rainbow Dash?

Hunching over, I rested my chin in one hand while running the other slowly through my long hair. The dark room was doing much to help me brood, but nothing to give me a solution. In fact, it was probably perfect for brooding. With the sun not any more than a hint at the horizon, the only light was from the lamps in the parking lot outside and it came through the blinds as thin yellow bands that flowed across the couch and floor. From the hallway I probably appeared as nothing more than a sinister silhouette surrounded by spooky light effects. Oh God, I was acting out another perfect cliché!

I needed a night light or something so the mood was not so intimidating. And I needed to sit in a less sinister pose. And...

And the room was all blurry - every shape and shadow little more than a fuzzy blob. Fuck! I needed my contacts... Which are still in the bathroom, of course! What a perfect way to make first contact! Nice to meet you miss pony, but if you do not mind waiting a moment before pummeling me, I would like to retrieve my eyes first.

I swallowed a frustrated groan before I could make a sound. After everything that has happened - and with all that could happen - at this moment the most important thing was an ordinary pair of contacts in a room separated from me by less than thirty feet.

Dying of embarrassment was actually probably the easiest way out of this nightmare. I was glad that the room is so dark; there was no chance that anyone else could see how badly I blushed. My shame also made me very resistant to the idea of getting up, which, I quickly realized, was still probably the smartest thing I could do. My hesitation did give me a moment to calm myself though - not that it worked - and it let me do something I should have been doing in the first place. Listening.

Straining my ears brought back all of the same information I already had. Craig in his room blissfully snoring away, Dimble somewhere in the living area making his normal, slightly stuffy breathing sounds, and there was nothing else. I think. There might have been a soft tapping sound somewhere in there. The quiet, which is normally so good for a peaceful sleep, felt oppressive. It felt like something was hiding from me.

And I still really needed my contacts.

Feeling very resigned to an unfortunate fate, I got off the couch. It is an achingly slow process as I try to go without making a sound. I slipped first one leg out, then the other, before gently letting the blankets settle. With my feet on the floor I eased upward so that the couch made no noise behind me. Other than my excited heartbeat the (relative) silence is total; devoid of even tricks played on me by my own ears. I'm supposed to be the bad guy here but the ambiance is creeping me out.

I timidly crept across the carpet toward the hallway in a mirror of the previous evening. As I passed through the room I noticed that Dimble was lying on the floor to one side of the TV in an impossible pose. He had twisted himself around to lay on both sides at once - his hind end on its left, and his front on the right. You rarely see contortionists attempt that sort of thing, but apparently he likes to sleep that way.

Dismissing my dozing cat, I came to the hall entrance and paused to listen again. I still got nothing unusual back. Either the pony's special talent is stealth or she had not yet left my room. I took a deep breath in. I let it out slowly. Following that I placed my hand on the wall and leaned to look around it.

Everything was blurry of course, but there was a large, dark shape in the hall just outside my room. It was far too short to be Craig, and far too large to be Dimble. I had not heard a damned thing so apparently she is a master ninja. As fast as my brain can register that the pony is pretty much right in front of me, she figures it out too.

With a shocked gasp the same golden, back-lit halo that had surrounded my phone several hours ago sprung up about her horn, bathing the hall in light. For a moment I could see a yellow-orange blob framed by vibrant blue. Then the light cut out just as suddenly.

"Owowowow...!" She cried, just a hair shy of a sob.

It was the kind of heart-wrenchingly agonized sound that any guy would jump at to smooth away with gentle assurances and comfort. I, on the other hand, was too busy blinking an afterimage out of my eyes to do anything. That included ducking back behind the edge of the wall apparently. With a start I remembered that I was leaning my head around the corner and in to her line of sight. If this had been a video game I would have been sniped long ago.

She seemed to come to a similar realization just as I did. I might not be able to see, but I swear our eyes met for the briefest of moments before I jerked backwards behind the relative safety of the wall. From the other side came the sound of hooves scrabbling against linoleum. A quick scraping sound followed, then a heavy thump, and another shocked gasp. Before I could fully work out what I was hearing there were more sounds of a pony struggling with the hallway floor before several rapid, softer thuds told me that she had made it back in to my room.

I slammed my back to the wall and tried to slow my racing pulse. I had no idea what she had just tried to do, but I'm sure I had been inches from death. My head thudded softly as I let it fall against the wall behind me. For a long while I could do nothing but lean there, gasping and shaking, with the wall supporting me in a way that my body refused to.

As the pounding in my ears began to fade, I noticed another sound working its way in to my ears: someone else's rapid staccato breaths. Someone who was clearly also terrified.

"He..." My voice broke - damnit all! - and I heard a sharp intake of breath from her.

"Hey." I tried again softly and with more success. "I'm not gonna' hurt you."

God, I felt silly! I knew she could not understand me, so I was pretty much just talking to myself. Did it make me feel any better? Sort of. Voicing my thoughts was a welcome distraction from my rampant pessimism. If I was too busy trying to not get killed, then I wasn't spending my time worrying about how I might be killed. And that was a dark thought...

"Look. I know you're scared, but I'm scared too." I was so very glad that Craig was asleep. "I don't want to hurt you..." That had sounded much better in my head. "God, that came out wrong. What I mean is that I'm not going to hurt you, so please don't hurt me. All I want to do is get my contacts, and then maybe we can sit down and try to work this out. I promise I'm just trying to help."

I waited and held my breath. She stayed silent though. "Nevermind. You can't understand me anyway." I'm not sure how well my voice was reaching her, but it struck me that talking like this probably was the smartest thing I could do. It let her know that I was not sneaking up on her, and it was a sign that I was not being aggressive. Or... it could just be me trying to lull her in to a sense of security before striking. My fucking brain; ever so helpful! Why couldn't I have one that did not sabotage every positive thought I had? Still, talking with her was what I wanted, so putting myself out there was the best option.

"I know you don't know what I'm saying, but I'm going to come out now. I'm going to go in to the bathroom and put my contacts in. After that I'll go back in to the living room and wait. You just come out whenever you're ready. No rush."

I'm not an idiot. Sometimes. I peeked around the edge of the wall before proceeding. Though just as dark as before, the hallway was empty of pony-shaped shadow blobs. I was not trying to mask my footsteps, but I did take each one slowly.

"Okay. I'm in the hall now, no need to jump out and blast me." Yeah, thanks brain. Step. "Rounding the corner in to the bathroom. Not attacking you, by the way." Step. I felt like a complete moron narrating like this. "In the bathroom now. Going to turn on the light so I can see. Don't worry, it's nothing bad." Step. Click. Viola, light!

I held my breath - apparently developing a bad habit there - and waited for my eyes to adjust. I was also waiting to see what the pony would do. She was still silent, though I did hear someone shifting around quietly.

"Right. See? Just some good old light. Nothing to be scared of." It was too bad that the mirror and door were not situated so that I could see down the hall toward my room. The arrangement ran the other way, so as I hovered over the counter I had a partial reflection of Craig's door before me. She would have to venture almost all the way to the entrance of the living area for me to see her.

"Just stay put now." I called softly. It amazed me that I was able to keep talking so evenly despite drowning in adrenaline. The years of working in customer service were finally paying off... with a perfect poker voice. "I have to get these contacts out and in. Not doing anything bad or scary. Just fixing my eyes." I also wanted to curl in to an embarrassed ball on the floor.

Righty went in first with no problems, then lefty, and finally I could see! The man in the mirror blinked several times to make sure everything fit correctly. There was still no sign of the pony though.

"Okay, now I'm all done here. I'm going to come out now, and go in to the living room. I'll leave the light on for you, okay? Like I said, you just come out whenever you feel safe enough. I just want to talk." How we were going to manage that I had no idea. The translator seemed like the only option. Given the conversation that was likely to occur, it was also probably going to be the most annoying option.

"I'm coming out now." I took a deep breath and edged my way back in to the hall. I really needed to stop trying to asphyxiate myself. And saying 'okay' so much. She was oblivious to this, being still hidden in my room somewhere, and my trek back to the couch was uneventful other than the worried musings that filled my head. As much as I wanted this to just be over, I was again thankful that she was behaving more like Fluttershy. And I felt awful for appreciating her fear. And that entire distressing thought process was yet another thing to stop doing.

"Alright. I'm just going to sit here on the couch, miss pony. Not doing anything bad, just sitting. On the couch. In the living..." I needed to just shut the hell up.

As much as I normally liked the darkness, having the lights on in the living area was comforting. Nothing could jump out at me while I was protected by impenetrable incandescent illumination. A five year old's logic at its best, but it made me slightly less nervous. Slightly.

From my spot on the couch with one leg folded beneath me - I had always been more comfortable that way - I waited patiently. Or tried to. My eyes may have been riveted firmly to the entryway across the room, but my body was just brimming with nervous energy. I could not help it. My un-sat-upon leg bounced away merrily while I pseudo-unconsciously drummed the fingers of one hand on the cushions.

"Mrowr!" All of my ticks came to a screeching halt when I heard Dimble's happy greeting. From down the hall.

Oh, fuck me! Please, please, please do not hurt Dimble!

I had been sure that I was a hyped up as I could get, but my body surprised me once again. I tried to dig my fingernails through the couch cushions as a veritable tsunami of chills washed over me in the wake of another adrenaline surge. Dimble was an innocent in all this, and I had forgotten all about him! I had let him wander blindly in to the crossfire.

I heard soft shushing and shooing sounds from the hall and all (some) of the tension left me just as quickly. The sudden relief that she was not going to blast Dimble had me hunched over and trying not to gasp with shock. If this pony did not kill me, then a heart attack seemed very likely. And at a meager thirty years old it would be an embarrassing way to go. Craig, I love you like a brother, but you still can't have my stuff.

The realization that she was pretty much right there impacted me soon after. Just as Dimble wandered back in to the room I sat back up and gave one last heroic effort to calm myself. I folded my hands together - lacing my fingers to keep them from fidgeting - and tried to make my face placid and non-threatening. I doubt I even came close to succeeding.

Then I remembered something I had forgotten. I really should have put a shirt on.

I wanted to facepalm. I really did. But there was a golden yellow horn inching its way in to view from behind the edge of the wall about three feet up from the floor, and that put a stop to every thought, conscious and otherwise, except for one:

I was about to meet a pony. An honest-to-God pony.

The horn was followed shortly by part of a slightly tousled wavy light-blue-on-dark-blue mane that reached almost to the ground. I am sure that I was staring unabashed and wide-eyed as part of her muzzle and most of one very wide eye slid slowly in to view. And Craig was right. She had really purple eyes. They were the sort of deep, rich violet found rarely in nature. Apparently My Little Pony had been right about ponies being colorful.

We just stayed like that. For how long? I have no idea. I needed some time to come to grips the fact that she was actually real because, while somewhat different than the show's depictions, she was still recognizable to me as an Equestrian pony. Her unwillingness to act was completely understandable; being from another world, I was sure she had never seen a human before. I was a complete unknown to her.

That is why I was the one to eventually break the detente.

"Hi." Even to my ears my greeting sounded way too cheerful, and completely out of place. At least it was not shaky, too quiet, squeaky, or threatening. I could be happy with small victories.

She blinked at me. Another long silence followed as her visible ear slowly drooped a bit.

"Esu lyon orun equsar?" Her words had a lilting flow that perfectly matched the style of the Equestrian script that I had seen. The inflection made it sound like a question. Hopefully our worlds were similar in that regard.

She had spoken quietly, but her voice still carried well enough. It was a bit higher pitched than my own, and had a softness that reminded me very much of a young woman's. Unlike a human's, hers was a bit more sonorous. It also had a subtle extra vibration under the primary tone. The sound was different - probably because her neck and palate were much longer than any human's - but it was not altogether unpleasant. And to be honest, after the last few hours, I was thrilled to hear her voice used for something that was not pained, surprised, or fearful.

"I'm sorry, but I can't understand you."

Her visible ear drooped lower and she replied with something too quiet to catch. After a moment she refocused on me. "Neyalo esu rusiol asherlo equsar seza esu lyon...? Lyo esu hesario sherula owerias?"

Again with the questions. I'm not even sure I caught the whole thing because she spoke faster that time. It's not as though I would have understood her had she spoken slower anyways.

I shook my head and picked up my phone. I was about to turn it on and call up the translator when it struck me that that would not work either. I might be able to plug in English and tell her things, but unless her phone was miraculously connected to an Earth network, or she could somehow type using English letters, then I was going to get back nothing more complex than 'yes' or 'no.' I sneered at my phone for failing me and tossed it to the end of the couch. I was still careful to land it on the cushions though - I'm not that dumb.

She had followed my every move while dealing with my phone, and her eyebrow raised when I casually discarded it. She was simply puzzled by that? Couldn't she tell that my phone was the method behind her situation? There was nothing else I could do though, so I just shrugged.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean for any of this. I don't suppose you have any ideas now?" She just kept staring at me. Eventually I sighed and broke eye contact. I began to play with my fingers as I looked down at my lap. My nervousness was creeping back. We could not communicate and I had no clue what to do about it.

A minute later, or maybe two - I don't know - I heard her shifting slightly. When I looked up I found her with one hoof raised. She paused as our eyes met again, but when I did nothing more than look at her, she carefully set it down ahead of her.

Then I found out why she was so effectively sneaky. She made sure that her hoof was firmly planted on the linoleum before easing herself forward on to it. Then she ever-so-slowly shifted her weight, probably moving her rear hooves, before cautiously lifting up her other front hoof to take herself further. It was like watching someone walking across a patch of ice, only slower. Linoleum and hooves had proven to be a very painful combination and now she was being extra cautious.

Her eyes did not leave mine as she painstakingly took the two steps to the carpet of the living area, but her ears kept flicking back and forth between Craig's room and myself. She did not relax until both of her front hooves were securely on the carpet of the living area. It was not much by a long shot, but her stance and the way she held her wings softened. It was clear that had she not been venturing in to the room where I was, she would have sighed in relief at being off the smooth floor.

My nerves were gradually piecing themselves back together as she continued to be non-hostile, and I watched with interest as she drew herself up. She held her head level with mine, though had I been standing she would have only come up to the base of my neck - right around five feet tall. Though still somewhat hesitant, I could definitely see a growing regal air to her stance. The bandage pad half hidden under her bangs did mar the effect just a little.

As we got our first good looks at each other I held my hands up before me with my palms out. "See? I'm friendly." Well, she was getting her first good look. I had gotten more than my fair share earlier. I could only hope that I was not visibly blushing at the memories of how... intimately I had gotten to know her.

"Shi osuara ilishu neharum, lya'on shi?" My blank look was apparently answer enough and she finally broke eye contact to look down toward the floor. She shifted her hooves to a slightly wider stance, then took a deep breath before letting it out through her nose. It looked a bit like Twilight preparing for a big spell. And that meant...

Oh shit!

I was already moving when her horn lit up with her signature halo. Before I could fully get to my feet she gasped as if someone had socked her in the gut, and her horn went out. One of her forehooves rushed to her forehead and she wobbled a bit. I noted that she was not holding her hoof to the bandage on the side of her head, but to the base of her horn. I do not know how I could have helped, but in spite of myself I found myself taking an involuntary step forward to see what I could do. I am not (normally) a dick, after all.

She noticed that, of course, and immediately hopped a step backward. Her ears pressed firmly to the back of her head and she spoke, though it was too fast for me to catch individual words. Her voice was thick with pain, but her tone was apparent. I was to stay away from her.

There was absolutely no way I was going to comply if she thought she was going to use magic on me. Maybe she was trying to be helpful. Maybe she was not. I had no idea, and was not about to find out the hard way. She interrupted my thoughts by lowering the hoof from her head and pointing it at me. She waved her hoof at me and said something more while blinking away tears. My confusion and distrust must have been apparent because when she spoke slower when she opened her mouth again.

"Non esu. Sher." She put a hoof to her breast, her mane bobbing a bit as she nodded. She then waited expectantly.

I am no expert with foreign languages, but if she were human the message seemed clear enough. But I had to be sure. "Me." I pointed to myself and shook my head. "You." I pointed to her and nodded.

"Kel. Sher." She tapped her chest and then nodded again.

If she was going to use magic on herself, then who was I to stop her. I took a step back and folded my arms over my chest. She seemed satisfied with my response and braced herself again. Gritting her teeth and clamping her eyes shut preceded her horn's halo coming alive again. She hissed through her teeth before tilting ever so slightly to one side, and I worried that she was in no condition to try whatever she was up to. I was assaulted with the mental image of her falling yet again. Fortunately, she managed to catch her balance.

She held her place for a bit with her horn glowing steadily. Eventually she looked back up at me through squinted eyelids. Despite some pretty obvious pain, she was smiling faintly. It was not an aggressive grin from what I could tell. Triumphant maybe. She was proud?

Her hoof came back up and tapped her chest. "Etherea." Then she pointed at me again - to which I raised an eyebrow.

"You want my name?" It was a dumb question and I knew it. I'm not sure why I didn't just introduce myself.

"Etherea." She repeated the gesture, but this time her tone carried a touch of annoyance.

I took the hint when she pointed at me again. "Alex."

She looked at me intently for a second before turning her head slightly and pointing past me. I looked to the side and saw nothing more than the couch, my untidy pile of blankets, and the window.

"You want what now?"

She frowned again. With her teeth gritted it was like she was baring her them at me.

"Well I don't know! You want a blanket? Blanket?" I grabbed one off the couch for emphasis. As soon as I did she pointed lower. I tried to trace her line of sight, but it made no sense.

"Couch? What...?"

She did not even pause that time and immediately pointed at the TV to her left.

"Um, the television?"

Again she pointed elsewhere. I couldn't figure out what the hell she was up to, but I tried to follow along as best I could by saying what things were. If I didn't know any better it seemed like she was trying to learn English. Was she using some kind of dictionary spell?

Eventually she pointed to the couch again. I responded like I had leading up to that moment, but she grimaced when I called it a couch again. Fuck, this was confusing! So what did she want this time? I had listed off everything in the area. She grumbled something under her breath that I did not catch.

Then she blew me away.

"No. More word."

I gaped. Shamelessly so. In less than thirty minutes she had picked up enough English to make conversation. It was extremely basic, but if she only needed a few minutes for that much, then how long would full fluency take?

"Couch?" She pointed again at it, obviously not satisfied with the time I was wasting while getting my brain back in gear. "More."

"Well. It's an old couch that I got from a buddy. It's off white and sort of green in a flowery pattern. It's not the prettiest thing in the world, but I like it because it's very comfortable. Is that good?" I really should not have been surprised when she nodded.

And so we went around the room again. She pointed again at everything in turn, and I described them in as much detail I could think of. I was in a bit of a daze as she gradually began to follow along with what I was saying. It couldn't have been even an hour of this and she finally waved me to silence and let her magic fade. I waited with bated breath to see whether the entire ordeal had worked. Was I about to speak to a pony?!

"I... think I... have it. Can you... understand me?" Her sentences were a bit disjointed because she apparently had to spend time thinking about what she wanted to say, but by Jove, she had done it! I should have known. Alicorns are overpowered!

"Yeah." I replied, awed. "You're speaking perfect English! That's incredible!"

"Good." She straightened to her full stature and looked me dead in the eyes. I froze as my nervousness suddenly rushed back. She was probably still very angry with me! "I demand that... you release me now!"

I just stared at her. We were barely in to her very first conversation in English, and she immediately ordered me to do something that I could not. It's not that I intended to hold her prisoner; I just had no way to return her to Equestria. I didn't want to simply tell her 'no,' but there was no way for me to back up the alternative.

As I stood there, wide-eyed, and pondered what to do about this, her jaw gradually set itself. She was no longer quite so afraid of me, and now she was going to fight for what she wanted. As giddy as I should have been to be talking with a real, live pony, I was tired, frustrated, and more than a little fed up with the crap I was going through. The surprises, one after another, interspersed liberally with equal helpings of confusion and full-bodied terror, were getting to be too much. Just as she opened her mouth - probably about to let me know in no uncertain terms that she was going to get her way - I sat down hard on the couch.

"Etherea, right?" I looked up as surprise crept along the edges of her stern mask. She nodded. "There's the door if you want it." I waved vaguely in its direction.

She opened her mouth, then closed it again without saying a thing. Her brow furrowed as she looked back and forth between myself and the door. She finished with a glance at the window behind me. "I can... just leave?" Her eyes narrowed.

"I don't think it's even possible for me to keep you against your will. You're not..." Do not say 'in Equestria!' "There are only more humans out there. You'll be all alone. But I am willing to help you." I held up a hand to forestall the question I could see forming behind her eyes. "I know you're angry with me, but my best advice is that you at least stay long enough for me to explain your situation."

"Fine. But I... will want to talk to your... Celestial Princesses... when we are done."

Right. Princesses. There was just one teensy little problem in her plan.

"We... don't have princesses."

Her eyes widened at that. "Princes then? I have the correct term... right?"

I shook my head. "Yes, but no. We don't have anything like that. We have a President who is a citizen that volunteered to go through a nomination process and then won a public election. I don't know how..."

The look on her face was heartbreaking. A mix of realization and abject fear had replaced every ounce of confidence. "And there is... no Harmony. There should be... but there is... nothing. Nothing at all." She did not direct this at me. Instead she was staring over my shoulder at the window through which the early morning sun was streaming. "If there is no Harmony, why... would there... be any Princesses? If... there are no Princesses... and no Harmony..." Her eyes met mine. "...who controls the Sun and Moon?!" Both her face and voice revealed a growing terror that was barely held back by a paper-thin veneer of hope. Fuck me! I was going to have to poke that bubble because I couldn't give her the answer she really wanted.

"Nobody does." I doubt she heard the resignation in my voice. God, I felt so bad for having to do that, and the way she wrapped her wings about herself as her rump hit the floor only made it worse.

"But... but... but..."

"Etherea. It still works. See?" I tried to reassure her, simply leaning forward on the couch since I was sure she still did not want me approaching her. "It's rising just fine on its own. Later today it will set, just like normal. I'm sure things seem very strange here. That's why I didn't want you to just up and leave."

She continued to stare beyond me. Without any other options I let her sit there while I tried to decide how to proceed. She was used to Equestria where everything was under control, and would need some time to get used to the idea of a self-sustaining system that was not intrinsically dangerous. I desperately wanted to do something that would make up for, well, everything. The words that would make it all okay were just not there, so I could only sit in awkward silence while she dealt with her breakdown.

I didn't get to twiddle my thumbs for very long before Dimble decided that I wasn't doing enough to please the apartment's overlord. After all, it was at least half an hour in to the morning and he had yet to see his regularly-scheduled catering service. This was a travesty against all cat-dom.

Etherea shrank away from me as I rose but never took her eyes off the window. As though everything would continue working normally as long as her attention never wavered. She was trembling slightly.

"I'm sorry." I breathed quietly. "I just... If... I... I'm sorry." I finished lamely. Way to go, me.

Dimble followed me to the kitchen area and meowed happily the entire way. He was about to be fed, so to him everything was just fine. Barring the fact that I wasn't fast enough about getting the food to his dish, of course. If only I could bottle that feeling of rightness and save it for times like these.

As I freshened Dimble's water and dry food I kept stealing looks at Etherea. What could I say? What could I do? More than anything else she needed something comforting. In a strange world, surrounded by strange creatures, and finding out that nothing worked in ways that made sense... what she really needed was something normal. But lacking the ability to rewrite the fundamental laws of reality, what could I do?!

Watching my cat eat breakfast... Dimble, you're a genius!

He was so content in the simple act of eating. Maybe I could use that feeling of rightness.

"Etherea." I spoke quietly as I ventured back in her direction. "I'm going to toss on a shirt, and then how about some breakfast?"

Her folded ears twitched, so I knew she had at least heard me. She did nothing else for a long minute, but eventually her head turned ever so slightly in my direction. A moment later she tore her eyes from the window. Meeting mine she gave a hesitant nod.

Progress! I smiled reassuringly. Or I meant it that way. I gave her as wide a berth as I could while moving to the hall, but she still stood on shaky legs to get more distance.

It was a quick trip, but I took a little extra time. She had not been wearing her torc or circlet so I wondered what she had done with them. A quick look around my room as I was donning my shirt confirmed that they were not readily apparent. She must have hidden them. So she had planned on coming back. That meant she probably could not go home right away.

Though I knew in my mind that she would be in the living area, it was still thrilling to walk around the corner and see a pony. And then I felt bad for feeling good... And she was still there - off to the side, standing in front of the TV, and watching me warily. And judging by the hoof that hovered in the air, she was being careful to not let any of the beams of sunlight strike her. I sighed inwardly.

"I don't have anything with hay or flowers since we can't eat that stuff. But I've got some cold cereals. Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Raisin Nut Bran are made with some kind of grain. The first has cinnamon of course, and plenty of sugar. The other has almonds and raisins. I also have some granola which I like to have with dried Dates." I wandered back in to the kitchen where Dimble was now licking his paws.

"There's bread for toast if you want, with butter, peanut butter, or jelly to go on it. We've got bagels too, though just plain ones. Oh, and cream cheese." I had left the can of cat food on the counter, but quickly hid it in the fridge. It was meat, more or less, and I'll be damned if I let her see meat lying around right now. With that in mind, I also resolved to hide the leftover Mac 'n Cheese and keep her away from the sausage links and ground beef in the freezer. That still left a tricky item though.

"Um... Do you... er... use eggs in any form?" I asked hesitantly.

She did not answer right away. "We do... but just.. for baking... in to other foods... and the like. You do not... use... fertilized eggs... do you?"

"I... don't know." I pondered the carton, but it refused to reveal its secrets. Being mass produced, fertilization did not seem likely. "I highly doubt it. Farmers would probably lose a lot of stock if they were letting roosters mingle freely. If you're okay with eggs, then I could make pancakes." I watched her mull that one over.

Now I really wanted to make pancakes. I always felt better eating them, and I thought she might as well. There was just something relaxing and 'homey' about cooking and eating pancakes. Plus who, in their right mind, does not like them? That would be un-human! Probably un-pony too.

She had been watching me right back. Maybe my own enthusiasm convinced her. "Fine."

I smiled in spite of myself and gathered the ingredients from around the area while Dimble did his best to trip me. I knew he didn't actually like pancakes, but that didn't matter. I was making food, therefore he was entitled to something.

Despite the mobile cat-shaped speed bump I quickly had batter to stir. Mixing it right takes some time, and since Etherea seemed unwilling to pick up the conversation from earlier, the silence once again stretched in to Awkwardland. I again felt a growing compunction to do something. Inspiration was slow in coming though. I could talk about the solar system, but that could be long and convoluted. Plus it was tangent to the big issues. I had so many questions about the real Equestria, but asking them had to be done tactfully or else she would know that I knew far too much. I wanted to wait a while before broaching that particular subject.

I could bring up her general options for her time on Earth. That was something that needed to be dealt with sooner... Well maybe not. As I was heating up the pan I thought of something that needed to be asked first.

"Etherea? Can you get back home again?" Wow. That sounded really insensitive. I hate being on the spot like this because it makes me nervous, and then I say really fucking stupid things.

She flinched and looked away. "I-I should be... able to." Her voice trailed off. My stirring of the pancake batter gradually wound to a stop while I waited for her to continue. Nothing more seemed forthcoming though.

"But..." I prompted gently.

"But it... took so much effort... to get here. I should... have realized something was wrong... when I was... scrying. It is such a... simple spell; it should not have been... so taxing. But... I was too upset... to notice! The actual teleport? It was... like pushing my way through... Canterlot's wall horn-first. I nearly lost my focus... in the middle of it. It took... everything I had to hold on D-do... you know what would h-have happened... if I had... l-lost control?!" 'Blazing' was a perfect descriptor for the look she gave me. "I might have died! And it was you. It... is all your fault! How could... you send me messages like that?! And now... now..." She took a menacing step toward me, her head lowered and her wings flaring. The only thing that spared me was that the step took her into the area that was lit through the blinds. Shock instantly took over her features as she noticed this and leapt sideways to escape it. She barely caught herself before she could hit the edge of the TV.

"And now... I am stuck in some place... that is... devoid of Harmony, with... whatever you are," an accusing hoof pointed at me, "and... I do not... even know if I can find a way back! And so far... nothing here makes sense..." Her wide purple eyes scanned across the bands of light on the floor and she shuddered faintly.

How dare she yell at me! I knew that thought was misguided and a much larger part of me was angry at myself for being angry with her. Being in the wrong sucked, but she was completely justified. I was angry at her, at myself, at my shame, at what had happened... So many things. But there was nothing I could do about it so I swallowed those feelings; forcing them down to a low simmer to let them burn themselves out in their own time.

I might be over a head taller than her, and halfway across the room, but it felt like she should be towering over me. "I'm sorry." There really was nothing more I could say. It was simple, it was too the point, and it was what I felt. "I am, Etherea. I screwed up. I..." I hung my head and looked dolorously down at the batter I was no longer stirring.

"It is... fine." I heard come back. Her tone told me that it was anything but.

"No. It isn't." And I was back to angry! My harsh, low tone was proof enough that I did not have as good a handle on my feelings as I wanted. I turned and practically slapped a dollop of pancake batter on to the pan. If it were not for the fact that I intended to serve these pancakes I would have been more than content to just watch them blacken and eventually burn - I could always take the batteries out of the fire alarm for a few minutes.

"Alex." I was so wrapped up in watching the cooking batter - while being various shades of upset - that I was surprised to hear her voice call softly. And closer. I looked over my shoulder without turning. Every negative feeling disappeared for the blink of an eye as my brain registered that there was a yellow Alicorn standing by the kitchen island, and not ten feet from me.

"I... You did..." She sighed and settled her rump on the floor, shuffling her wings and neatly arranging her tail about her. "What I want to say... is that you clearly... meant no real harm. A... ...wise pony once told me that... anger will only result in more pain and suffering, and to... do everything I can... to work past it to an amicable resolution." The long pause at the beginning was a very noticeable omission. It sounded like something Celestia would say. Or Yoda. "I am upset. You sound upset. But... it is done and... there is nothing we can do about that. The best thing to do is... exactly what we are doing - working... toward forgiveness and a solution."

She might not have the legendary unflappable demeanor that fans give Celestia, but she clearly had some practice at it. The image of her as an actual princess gained some traction in my mind. And then was ruined almost immediately as Dimble, who, tired of me not sharing what I was cooking, began using his nose to make a thorough and completely inappropriate investigation of her. She desperately raised a protective hoof before her to ward him off.

"Just push him away." I could not help but smirk at my cat's antics. "He'll get the message. If he doesn't, just swat the tip of his tail."

I could see some faint pink around the edges of her ears. She did eventually push him bodily to the side with a tentative hoof though. With my cat safely out of the way (now investigating her tail) she resettled herself back to a more dignified pose.

"And to... answer your earlier question; I do not know. Not exactly." I blinked in surprise as my thoughts tried to catch up to her topic switch. "I... taxed my own Harmony greatly to get here, and... with no ambient Harmony to help, I have... to rely on my own ability... to recuperate." She looked down and dug a hoof in to the carpet. "I do not know how this world will affect it either. If this... were Equestria I would say that... a day or two of rest would be fine, but... it might be weeks before I can attempt to go back. And that is... if I do not use a lot of... magic."

Right. So she was stuck here for a good long while. "What about the ponies in Equestria? Do you think they can figure out where you are?"

"I do not see why not." Her tone turned thoughtful. "But I was using... a tracer spell on my pad... to follow your messages back to you. They will not have that... direct connection. I suppose my... that my family might be able to... use their connection to me in its place, but I do not know whether that will... make it easier or harder. On one... hoof... it is a more personal link, but on the other it is not as... 'fresh' of a trail to follow." She scrunched up her face like something was tickling her nose as she thought - which was very adorable, by the way - before nodding. "That is probably the best way to say it."

"So you could be here for a while."

She did not answer right away, her face jumping through a quick series of emotions - from consternation to anger and then resignation. "Yes."

I set the first pair of pancakes on a plate and slid it over to the edge of the island closest to her. The butter and syrup quickly joined her plate and, after adding more proto-pancakes to the pan, I passed over the shaker of cinnamon as well.

"I have orange juice, milk, peach iced tea, soda, or water if you want something to drink." I was not going to touch Craig's stash of beer this early in the morning, no matter how extensive it was.

"Um. Water is fine." A glass of water joined the growing assortment of items before her.

After a moment I decided to re-broach what was surely the most important subject at hand. "Back to another earlier topic then. If you'll be on Earth for a bit, then I think you have two options. You can either lay low until you can get back to Equestria, one way or another, or you can announce yourself and see if my government will help."

"It sounds like... you do not like the second one." Her tone carried the hint of a question.

"I don't like either option." I stated. "But I like turning you over the least. Humans are incredibly suspicious of new things. There have been too many conflicts and too much..." Ix-nay on the iolence-vay, Alex! "I don't know. Heartache? You're a complete unknown to us." I emphasized that with a wave of my spatula. "The first reaction is not going to be casual curiosity. Everything I know about my world tells me that the first thing they will do is try and figure out what sort of threat you are."

"But I am... not a threat! I just... want to get home!" Her voice bristled with indignation.

"It doesn't matter. They don't know if you're malicious or not. They don't know whether you're carrying some sort of deadly disease..."

"But... I... You think I am... infectious?!" And I had gone and pissed her off. Again. I needed some fucking sunshine and rainbows, or something! Except that she was scared by those too! Fuck me.

"We... Ugh...!" I gave a frustrated snort. "To be honest, I don't know. Thous... Many people have died from epidemics caused by simple first contact situations like this. Those were just in human populations separated by time and distance. You're from a completely different world. Even if it's not going to happen, the government will still want to make absolutely sure that we're not all going to die from simply being near you."

The stare she gave me was somewhere between horrified anger and breaking in to tears. I found there was a lump in a my throat and I wanted to pat her on the back and tell her that everything would be alright. That I was just being an alarmist. That nothing bad would actually happen.

"I didn't want you to wake up in that kind of situation!" I quickly interjected to head off her breaking down again, though I had to stop myself there and reassess where I was going. Describing my thoughts about a government test facility that would have been at home in the X-Files would only scare her more. I was so fucking tired of being an endless dispenser of bad news.

"I thought it would be worse to wake up surrounded by officials with no more concern for you than what sort of danger you were to us. And I'll be honest, if you approach them as an intelligent and rational being, they'll be very wary of you but you'll probably be much better received. I wanted to give you the option so that you could decide for yourself. Either way, I'll do what I can to help." I tried to fill that last thought with earnestness.

"Why would going to your... President... be a problem?" Her voice was a bit shaky, but she looked more confused than anything. I was thankful for small miracles. "Would she not... be more than happy to help... once I explained things?"

"He, by the way." She twitched in surprise. "But maybe. I don't know. I think it would take some time to check you out though, so you might be held until they felt safe, which could delay your return home."

"I would be a... prisoner?!" she recoiled and clenched her wings to her sides again.

I sighed. Again. I got myself out of one hole and just jumped into the next! "Not really?" Trying to be diplomatic while on the spot in a bad situation was not my strong suit. "I doubt it would be as bad as that, but I'm sure you would not be allowed to roam free. They'll certainly be very interested in your magic. The benefit to you laying low is that you would not have teams of officials watching you all the time and asking you to do things. You still wouldn't be able to run around freely, but we might be able to make it less confining. And it might let you go home sooner."

I removed the long-suffering pancakes from the pan. I certainly deserved slightly burnt ones. When I sat down on a stool to eat I noticed that Etherea hadn't touched hers.

"Don't you want your pancakes?"

She had been staring at the floor with her ears laid back. Her mane shifted and bounced when her head jerked up and she faced me over the counter. I noticed that she was really short to be eating off of a surface built to human dimensions.

"I do. I was waiting though. As terrible as..." The pregnant pause made me want to sigh again. "...this morning has been, you... are trying to be kind to me. I think. So I was being... polite in return." She too noticed her plate sitting at about chin height and scowled at it. "I also want to... conserve my Harmony."

I quickly retrieved the short end table from next to the couch for her. After all, Craig didn't need it to hold the remotes at the moment.

"I do not... know for sure, but if it is any comfort, I do not think you... can catch anything from me." She said after transferring her plate to the lower surface with her mouth. I raised an eyebrow and motioned for her to go on. "Equestrian... diseases are based... around localized... corruptions of Harmony. There is no Harmony in your world, and without it... I do not think you can catch our diseases."

"So your diseases are... magical?"

She shook her head at that. "No. Magic is when you... use Harmony to do things."

And now I suddenly had a ton more questions! But they were not important right now. "If we can't catch a pony cold, that's a load off. But I still worry about you..." Just leave it at that, Alex. Just leave it! Wait... 'Localized corruptions of harmony?' Does that mean Discord is little more than a sentient, mobile super disease?! Holy shit, that is a frightening thought!

"I will let you know if I... start feeling under the weather." She began before I looked questioningly at her horn. "Well, if I begin to feel... particularly unusual." Of all the things she would be casual about, dismissing the possibility of dying from disease had not been on my list.

"Speaking of which, you took a nasty fall last night. How are you doing?" I pressed on while watching her struggle doggedly with the syrup. She held the bottle upside down, in the crook of what I guess is her ankle, so that she could squeeze it, and kept it from sliding out with her other forehoof. It seemed like a really awkward way to do things and I wondered why she did not use her wings. Maybe the show had gotten the prehensile wings thing wrong? Now I needed to ask her about that as well.

"I am... okay, I guess. Thanks... for asking. It is my horn that bothers me more actually." She tilted her head to the side and waved a hoof in its direction as she explained. "Doing all that magic in such a short a time when I was not prepared for it... I could have seriously injured myself. My... I have heard of ponies... fracturing their horns... or worse, by trying to do too much magic too quickly. I am glad it is not that bad. Still, it... feels like somepony keeps tapping it with a... hammer." She finished with a small grimace.

I inclined my head and motioned with my fork that I was happy she was okay. Good news was... good. She noticed my gesture then looked to her pancakes. I noticed her lips compressing to a thin line as her ears slowly folded back. If her escapade with the syrup was any indication, she was finding out that breakfast was going to be an ordeal.

I debated what to do while she seemed to be doing the same. Offering help could go one of two ways; leave her incensed that I did not think she could do this on her own, or have her gratified that I was being considerate. Honestly, since I had been making a terrible impression so far, it seemed like it could go either way.

"Do you... have a strap or something that... I could use for these?" Her unhappy question broke through my indecision. She nudged her fork with a hoof.

Strap? That sounded so dirty... I forcefully squelched that thought and went with the more reasonable response. "I don't think so. I do have rubber bands though."

I presented her with an assortment, but again there was the problem of how to manipulate them. Trying (a bit unsuccessfully) not to worry over her response, I knelt and held out my hand. She looked at it like I had just offered her a moldy, worm-ridden fruit. Just as I was ready to pull my hand back in defeat she wilted just a tiny bit, then lifted a hoof and set it on my palm.

I was so surprised that I forgot what I was doing. I had a pony's hoof. In my hand! Electric thrills were flowing down my spine, running back to the top, and doing it again as fast as they could. I know I had touched her before, and been talking to her for quite a while, but casual physical contact was a whole other thing! Sure, her hoof felt just like a hoof - there was a hard outer ring pressing against the edges of my palm, and a softer, roughly tear-shaped frog in the center - but this was not just any hoof. It was a pony hoof! The edges were rounded neatly and evenly, and the faces were uniformly smooth in a way that spoke of careful tending. It had a slight luster as though lightly polished - which it probably was. It was clearly not a normal hoof. And I was holding it!

And now Etherea was giving me a wary look as though regretting her action.

"Sorry! I didn't think you actually would..." My cheeks suddenly felt very warm and I quickly began examining the rubber bands. I picked out a couple larger ones and stretched them around her hoof before sliding her fork in to place. Then I wiggled it a bit to make sure it was secure enough to eat from. It seemed to be out of the way enough for her to still use her hooves to grasp her water.

Then I found a problem with this arrangement. There was no way for her to comfortably use a knife with the same hoof, and if it was on her other one, then she would be unable the entire front half of her body to support herself. That did not strike me as comfortable, no matter how happily-animated Lyra was.

"Do you want me to..." I motioned with my free hand at her plate. She went slightly pink around the edges again and looked away. I took her lack of refusal as assent and quickly cut her breakfast in to bite-sized pieces.

I retreated to my own seat just as quickly, but I waited before digging in. She took a long look at her fork-clad hoof before giving a short giggle and grinning faintly. The utensil certainly looked silly, and the blue and tan stripes holding it in place clashed horribly with her golden yellow color. It was good to see her smile.

With a shrug of her wings she began to eat. Then so did I. For a time there was no anger, no alarm, and no fear. Despite what had happened, and all that might yet happen, everything was right in the world. The great calamities would have to wait because at the moment there were pancakes to be had.