If there was one thing I envied about movies, it was the convenient cutaways. Don't want to deal with all the missed moments, awkward lead-ins, and other minutiae? Just skip ahead to the next relevant scene! Nobody needs to see how the characters actually deal with that embarrassing blurt, the post-storm-away confusion, securing a replacement ride home, or anything.

Too bad life didn't work that way.

Oh, sure, at first there had been plenty to do. Doctor Isshenaen got to finish casting his pain relief spell, which proved to work quite well, thank God. Apparently humans were perfectly susceptible to Equestrian magic once we’d been thoroughly saturated with Harmony, or something. There was also Arissa’s near-constant molestation; poking, prodding, recording vitals, and taking samples of everything she could convince me to let her get her grabby little hooves on: skin, hair, spit, blood... The latter she was so anxious about taking that you’d have thought it was her on the wrong end of a stabby medical weapon.

She also insisted on acquiring everything else a human might feasibly expel. More tears? Check. Piss and shit? Sure, though I wasn’t allowed to use the toilet - didn’t want to contaminate their septic system with human ick, or something - and the latter wouldn’t… manifest. She didn’t force the bile issue, nor did she ask me to jack off - thank fucking God - but she did ask whether it was a thing.

That was totally coming up again later.

Then we must have examined every potentially-edible leaf, flower, and grain between Canterlot and... somewhere really fucking far away from Canterlot - sue me if I didn't have a good analogy - before I got so much as a nibble! It was all fucking finger food and contained far too many leaves. Arissa seemed to enjoy the spread just fine. And fuck it all, I could understand why they did it, even if I really didn’t want to, because we were all just ecstatic when none of it killed me.

Arissa also replaced the translation spell. Not that I could tell the fucking difference between the old and the ‘properly-applied’ new one. That naturally led to a great game of ‘I Spy’ just so I could activate it. Then there was a rousing round Guess the Human Taboo - like clarifying the whole nudity thing - some sorting out of human daily habits - which Arissa just ate right up - and a whole lot of checking and triple-checking whatever readings they were getting on me. Look, I know we were all worried about how Harmony was affecting poor, little me, but by the eighth time I was fucking sick of it.

Somewhere in there the cell’s window had dimmed. It turned out I was underground, and the thing was merely a magical decoration cued to their day and night schedule. When the lot of us passed around a series of yawns - a truly universal tradition, apparently - Arissa relented, urging rest for everyone’s sanity.

Bed time. Sleep. Quiet. Trying not to close my eyes because screaming ponies and muzzle flashes lurked behind my lids. In the stillness I couldn’t hide nearly so well from everything lurking in my memories.
Just don’t sleep; the FBI can’t get you then.

The waking world wasn’t any better either. There were so many ponies all around me, doing pony things, and possibly just waiting to jump out and… stare at me, or something. An irrational feeling, sure, but so goddamned powerful.
So I was exhausted and yet not. My eyes were heavy, and yet they stayed restless. My thoughts were twisted up in nervous knots, and every time I got anywhere near sleeping, I’d remember something else that could still go wrong. Like how Twilight hadn’t sent word back, much less returned, and what the hell that might mean for me.

Plus, they just hadn’t been able to save my contacts. Nothing they could do had time to be verified as safe, so fuck me again, I was the next best thing to blind! And angry Alex is not a sleeping Alex.

Arissa, bless her heart, had really tried, going so far as to drag another cot into the room to be right there for me. But she wasn't my family, nor was she my roommate, or any of my friends. She was a pony. An alien. I wasn’t going to bother her if I could help it. And I could help it.

So the night dragged on…

...and on…

...and on.

But like any watched pot, morning eventually condescended to come. The fake window was suddenly lighter, so I must have dozed off at least a little, but once I noticed, that was it. Further rest became impossible because I was too busy anticipating inevitably being roused. In its place was a weird, counterproductive mental struggle where I wished against myself, alternatively hoping that the new day would never actually arrive, or that it would make everything better.

Arissa must have had a reputation, or something, because her attendants left prodding consciousness into her to the guards. Even then, it only took a few groggy blinks for her to roll out like an uncoiling spring, instantly brimming with vigor.

I hated her for it.

Then she was right there by the bed, and I knew I was out of time. Just like I'd kinda' wanted.

How was I feeling? Miserable.

Had I slept well? No.

How was my pain? Getting there.

Had I called for Doctor Isshenaen? Nope.

Why not? I didn't have a good answer.

She immediately fetched him from wherever they were storing all their spare ponies. It was amazing how a couple minutes with him reduced the symphony of movement-induced stabs to a single large, achy patch deep under my skin, like a large bruise that defied the physiology it actually encompassed. He was again nice to a fault, but I just wasn't in any kind of mood, and let his niceties go right out my other ear. Arissa surely noticed because some of her pep slipped away.

I was sick and tired of feeling miserable - which only made me moreso - but fuck if I could figure out how to bring things back to normal.

Breakfast was much like last night’s dinner had been, but along with the smattering of leafy greens were now ‘fun sized’ tidbits of fruits and vegetables. It wasn’t any more fun or filling; I really, really wanted a pancake to go with it all.

And that was how I found myself wrapped in blankets on the edge of the cot with three ponies in the room: the currently designated note-taker, one of Arissa's assistants, and Arissa herself. She, being right in my face, was the only non-blurry pony in the area. Her hooves gently guided my head by way of my cheeks, while a little ball of light hovered just out of sight below my nose, allowing her to take a good, long gander at my chompers.

"...three of four incisors have had their tips chipped off. How did you manage that?"

I had no idea; they'd been that way for as long as I could remember. Also, I can't answer with my mouth pried open, you twit!

"...bottom left - his orientation - is whole. Others seem in good condition otherwise. There's... some unusual amount of abrasion on the forward edges of the top right - his orientation again - rearmost molar. Now what could-? No, there's some faint discoloration..."

Congratulations, you found a filling! I still couldn't-

The doors down the hall banged open, clattering hooves flying closer.

Arissa jumped back, turning, and let me shut my mouth as the hoofbeats slowed, drawing up to the guards. My hopes for a Twilight Sparkle were dashed as the guards made way for a dark rose-colored pony-shaped fuzzy blob wearing something blue and white over its forequarters. It presented what looked like a piece of paper, head zeroing in on me as the commanding pony - I assumed - read whatever it had brought.

Arissa walked right up and inserted herself, her little ball of light tagging along just behind her head. "What's going on?"

The guard held up a hoof. "You will wait."

Arissa began tapping one of her rear heels.

I tried to listen in - it was a bit easier; I was pretty sure yesterday’s ringing was fading into a simple, thick fuzziness - but the new pony’s unwavering attention made me shiver in anxiousness. I was more comfortable not looking directly at them.

"Well?" The little light advanced on the guard, but bobbed back when his head jerked up.

The guard pointedly took his time pocketing the paper before turning and replying. "The- Alex is being freed. The princesses say Princess Etherea... ...his story, so... ...moving him to one of the diplomatic... ...castle."

I blinked. Etherea was awake? Yes! That's exactly what I wanted!

For a second - just one - I wanted to jump up and dance. And then I realized I must have heard wrong. Everything was horrible and awful; nothing could have actually gone right!

At the same time Arissa let a 'whoop!' and whipped around. Her grin was big enough to see despite the blur. "That's great news! You heard that? Tell me you did."

I braced for the other shoe to fall. "I heard something... about a castle."

She must have seen my hesitation, her next words calmer and softer as she began approaching. "Yes. You're being cleared of wrongdoing." She whirled on the guard again. "Right?"

The poor soldier flicked an ear. "The orders... ...that."

"Wait... How quickly is this expected to happen?"

It took a moment for the new pony to register that everyone had turned on them. "Umm... ...not told anything about... ...the orders right away." Definitely male by the rougher voice.

Commander Pony Number Two nodded. "Then it seems... ...all haste. ...can you be ready?"

Arissa looked over at me.

"No," I murmured, as the need to stop them overwhelmed me. I couldn't help clutching the blankets closer as that drew all eyes to me. "Do not want to... go like... this. Get my clothes?" I hadn't meant to sound so pitiful. I needed to get a handle on myself!

"They were taken as evidence," the guard replied. "I... can find out. Is this... ...problem?"

Arissa's little ball of light swung around toward the guard again, but still didn’t dare to venture too close. "You missed the briefing, hmm? Yes, it's a problem. For one, his people have a strong cultural aversion to being without clothing. He's not cold-" well, not terribly so, "-he's trying to maintain his modesty.

"Another reason is we aren’t prepared to go yet. At the least, I need to check whether it is safe to move him out of this area." The guard made the beginning of a sound, but Arissa trampled right over him. "Additionally, I'm concerned about his ability to react properly. His vision is heavily impaired, and his paws aren't protected the way our hooves are. If he's meant to go where I think he is, then it's a ways to walk, and I’m not unnecessarily risking him being injured if I can help it."

It's not that-

Everypony had stopped and was looking my way. Oh, I'd opened my mouth. I pushed backwards a few inches and drew up my knees, wrapping the blankets tighter.

"It is not that... bad," I carefully let my thoughts voice. "I can... see things, just... not details."

"But you would feel much better with your things back."

I couldn't place Arissa’s tone, nor read her expression, but she was right. And we were kinda' going in circles here, so I nodded, too busy considering options to say much. Go or stay? Each had good and bad points. This cell sucked, but I was familiar with it. Wherever they might take me was strange and unknown.

"Then they will be found," said the guard, surprising me; I'd expected more resistance. He stepped back, looked down the hall, and barked an order for another guard to come over. I couldn't follow what all was said before the other guard trotted off.

Arissa dismissed herself with a flick of her tail, coming back within reach and bearing a bright smile. "You're going to be alright, Alex. See? Things are working out."

I wasn't entirely sure why - maybe I just needed the physical confirmation - but my hand extricated itself from under the blankets. She barely hesitated before bumping it lightly with the tip of her muzzle.

"Now, I'll need a few tessenlias to confer with everypony else. Just relax for now."

A few what? Whatever it was didn't translate.

Arissa was well on her way already, directing the current recorder-pony to keep doing her job - not that the poor pony had stopped - and then dragging off her assistant, the two of them gabbing back and forth about magic-this and timetable-that. Apparently I had time. Waiting was a nice, safe activity anyway. So I scooted back against the wall, feeling and testing the not-bruise shifting around in my back, my entire body heavy with the need to flop over and drift off.

Must be nine or ten in the morning then; that’s when my body normally called it quits after an all-nighter. I chuckled internally at the thought. It wasn't like that was going to happen - last night’s anxieties hadn’t gone away - but even the adrenaline was slowly losing out.

Closing my eyes for a just a minute would feel oh, so nice.

My mind just wouldn’t let me ignore that I was surrounded by all these ponies and things, especially since they were apparently preparing something just for me. Was I ready for this? Yesterday the rest of ponykind, and by extension the outside world, were interesting in a distant, safely 'out there' kind of way. I did kinda' want to see everything, but, well…
My hands itched with nervous need as I listened to my heart thumping in my ears, and I was no closer to a decision, or sleep, when Arissa showed up by the bed again.

"Mind if I join you?"

What?

She dipped her nose toward the space beside me.

Trying to rub the tired out of my eyes, I peered at the area. "What? Why?" Use Equestrian. “Mari?"

She shrugged. "We're friends, right?"

I guessed so, which, when I thought about it, was probably a horrible disservice. On that note, and with a spike of determination, I slipped a hand under my blanket's edge and patted near the spot. She hesitated, her ears twitching, before climbing up in one smooth go. My pulse fluttered in my fingertips, exhaustion gone in a rush as she carefully lay down just a couple feet away, facing me with her side against the wall and forelegs curled under.

"I see I assumed right," she said, a wry hint to her tone.

Okay, I had to ask it. "What are you... doing?"

"Showing you my vulnerable side."

I blinked hard. My snort was totally unintentional.

"See? Funny. We're not that different." She was smiling proudly now, her neck arched prominently. "Calm, close proximity is almost universally a gesture of trust. From what I've seen of you, I think humans are similar. My next question would be whether gentle physical contact would be comforting."

That got the old gears going; she'd pretty much admitted to wanting to hug me. Nuzzle? Probably that, since Etherea had been big on them. Yeah, I wasn't ready.

Even then, I had to admit, "They can."

"We can leave that for later then."

Yup, I was going to be getting more nuzzles, but at least she understood. And y'know what? I found I was pretty okay with her being beside me. As the adrenaline filtered away again, I put my head back down. Closing my eyes still felt amazing - like I could almost relax - but my ears were too busy with all the nearby pony activity. I couldn't risk missing a thing.

Which meant there was no missing when soft, melodic humming began drifting up from next to me. Sure, why not. She probably thought I could sleep. A giant yawn likely only furthered her impression.

Suddenly there was another pony voice, deep but a little hesitant, above the strangely quieter hubbub. I opened my eyes, blinking at some lingering dryness, as I focused on the gold and teal blur. Who the hell was this, and where had-

I'd just missed whatever Arissa had said.

That pulled my jumbled thoughts together to one clear conclusion: I’d been snoozing and now something else had gone wrong! Focus Alex! I buckled down, looking for that feeling that would let me sort through the ponies’ alien syllables. Yes! It was still there!

"...yasma osseu a retrieve these of the- his belongings."

Arissa, still laying next to me, looked back and inclined her head when she saw that I was watching. That's when I noticed some familiar shapes and colors atop the wrinkled covers just on the other side of her. It could only be my shoes. And only my shoes...

"Is-" everyone turned to look at me, "-that it?"

One of the shoes wiggled under the control of Arissa’s pale golden halo. "That’s right, I was told he had a full body outfit. Where’s the rest of it?"

"They have been taken for a thorough cleaning now that they aren't needed as evidence. The larger pieces were apparently quite... stained."

So, no clothes. The important point was that they were being washed. Right? Arissa's grin seemed to confirm it. It hit me then: things were actually looking up!

"When will they be done?"

"I don't know, Lady Derinetth. They were, or are, being transferred."

Arissa harrumphed, her tail lashing against the bed once. “You at least have these back."

My shoes floated over. Just as I was about to reach out from under my precious blanket cocoon, I noticed that there was more: my shoes sat atop what had to be my underwear and socks. So I'd be only mostly naked. Perfect for a silly, sexy party a la Benny Hill, but for running around Equestria?

"Well, go on. You can take them."

That's not what I- Y'know what? Never mind.

Carefully extending a hand, I felt at the clothing to pinpoint my underwear, then pulled it free of Arissa’s hold. Some careful and very awkward wriggling later, I'd managed to get them on without compromising my position. It probably would have been easier to just stand - they'd already seen me naked - but, well, no. I'd drawn the line, and wasn't going to give it up now.

Socks followed shortly, and yup, I barely felt less naked. "How long... for the rest?"

The new guard gave a slow neck shake. "I don't know... ...a while. I was told your garments... ...some time to fully clean... ...be a tesahnlen. Maybe more... ...less."

So... not soon?

Arissa was looking right at me, her expression carefully schooled. What now?

"They want you moved to a suite in the castle complex as soon as you’re able."

“Already?” How long had it been since I’d drifted off?

She grinned. “You’ve been resting for a while now.”

I had? And now she wanted me to leave? Without clothes? My resistance must have been obvious.

“I know you’re uncomfortable with the idea, but you’re not a prisoner, and this place-” she motioned around the room, “-wasn’t meant to hold you; it's much harder for us to care for you here. Plus, the guard doesn’t want you staying here any longer than you have to, and right now, they are clearing a route to your new room.” She leaned in, angling her head almost conspiratorially. “You won’t have to worry about meeting any random ponies just yet.”

Stretching her head even closer, I worried for a moment that she was going to go straight for a nuzzle. “Most of my staff is at the suite already, and the palace staff is ready to receive you there. I’m certain you’re going to be much more comfortable because it’s three rooms all to yourself, furnished and cozy. It’s your own space, your own bed, your own facilities, and you can stay inside at your leisure. And if it matters, you’ll have balcony access” With a faint smile, she tried looking me right in the eyes, but I kept mine off hers. "I know you’re familiar with this place, but do you really want to remain in a prison?"

I didn't. I also didn't want to go out and about like this. “Do I have to?”

Her ears dipped. “No, but we would really like you to. Like I said, they already have us setting up, and I don’t want to leave you unmonitored for long.” She paused, waiting on me. “I’ll be with you the entire way. We’ll take it slow.”

Through all the desire to resist, even if it was simply out of spite, my brain pointed out one very big thing she'd brought to mind: the wall hiding the toilet was short for ponies. If I could pee without an audience... That and shower! Okay, yeah, I really wanted private facilities.

There was just one thing, though I wasn’t sure how Arissa could accommodate. "Clothes."

She hesitated, her mouth opening, but she thought better of whatever it was and simply nodded. "Right. I’ll see what I can find." A moment of clambering and a short hop brought her up to the guard. "Tell whoever needs to know that we're making Alex modest, but it may be some time."

He twitched and angled his head, but she’d already bypassed him.

"Alex, I'll be back as soon as I have something."

Right. Of course. Everyone seemed equally stunned as she up and disappeared around the corner. The guard dipped his chin, mumbled, and then followed her out. The poor pony in the corner looked around several times before shaking his or her head, and hesitantly bringing their quill back to paper.

Which left one very important question. It meant interacting with the guards, the mere thought of which made my nerves hum, but after a moment of working the dryness out of my mouth, I was sure I had it.

"E-excuse me, s-sirs." I flinched - and hated that I did - as the six blurry pony shapes snapped their heads up attentively. Here goes. "Does that mean... i-if I, um... wanted to go out and see... would- would you... really let me?"

"Yes," the middle one didn't even hesitate, though I could already hear the 'but!' "Orders are to keep you safe, however. You are free to come and go within reason, but for the moment it wouldn't be wise to let you wander around. You could explore this location, if you chose, but you would not be permitted beyond it without Doctor Derinetth present."

I figured.

"It is for your safety, Alex."

Catches are catches. I went back to my own little world only mildly reassured, waiting for things to happen and trying not to think too hard. It was a little while before Arissa showed up again, and she didn't come unburdened. With little more than a howdy-do, she came to the cot and flipped some kind of garment out of a saddlebag.

"Vwah! A modified pegasus long-tailed vest!" It spun around and pulled open, guided by a halo of magic, and she reared to stick a forehoof through one of the large openings in each side. "It's long in the breast, so you should be able to wrap the front around, it has a short tail-cover, which will probably look nice coming off your back, and the color complements those blankets."

Bright blue on blue-gray? It coordinated, I guessed, but I wasn't seeing anything else with it.

"...could wrap the blanket around your legs - you said the nudity taboo was mostly around your hips area - so you would be covered. And best of all, you would look clothed!"

It's just that... "I would look like a girl," I said under my breath in English.

"What?"

"A... mare. I would be... dressed like a human mare."

That snapped her ears back.

Actually, I wasn't entirely right. I'd seen Muslim men in long, flowing garments. Not quite the same, but similar. Samurai had billowy leggings too, right? Still pants-like though, if my memory served. Indians though! I was pretty sure I'd seen high class outfits from India that were kinda' like what Arissa was refolding. I might look like their royal caste, or whatever.

Internally I chuckled uneasily and raised a hand. "Wait." She perked right up. "You think this... is best?"

A sharp nod from her. "I realize that leaving now isn't ideal for you, but I think you'll be much more comfortable. It will be your space."

"And food?" I hadn't forgotten how much time all this was taking!

She chuckled. "Yes, we can make sure you get some lunch."

Her good mood was heartening. "Good food... this time?"

This time her laugh was crisp and clear. "So, looking like a human mare will not be too bothersome?"

You didn't answer the question! Damnit. That meant I'd be going through more taste-testing rigamarole. "I am going to... try and think... of it as... looking like I am from, um... another human culture."

Her ears were already up, but their rigidity shot through to the rest of her body. She glanced over her withers at the pony in the corner, who also suddenly looked much more attentive.

"A different culture? There are multiple?"

Tamping down on my insecurity, I motioned her back with a hand, and then carefully slid to the edge of the bed. "Yeah. Lots." Standing and loosening my back after having again been curled up for far too long was both amazing, and made me regret whatever life choices had led to here and now.

Not that many of them had been mine.

I took a couple deep breaths; now wasn't the time to be wasting thoughts of death and dismemberment on a certain Princess. Sorting out my blankets to remain covered from the waist down was a decent distraction; one was re-wrapped and the other got shucked to internal admonitions a bare chest didn’t actually make me naked.

"There is a famous saying... that if you put... ten humans in a room... you will get... eleven opinions. There are... more cultures than I... can count.”

Laughter bubbled up from Arissa again. "Very... evocative. I hope I get the chance to see some of them."

That... I hadn't even thought about that! Ponies - at least some - would be ecstatic to meet us strange new creatures, and I was going to be their introduction. As if I was unsure of what to do before, now I had to consider that whatever I might do, it would be their first impression of humanity! No pressure, right? Nope! I was absolutely calm about how every little thing was doing was potentially historic!

Fuck my life...

Distracted by fresh worry, I failed to immediately take the vest-thing from Arissa. She must have grown impatient, because she bobbed it a bit, recalling me to the here and now. My first piece of alien technology... Sure, it was merely a textile, but it had been made with alien processes! At least I imagined they'd constructed it with something a bit more exotic than a pony Singer sewing machine.

The vest-thingy actually wasn't too different from a tuxedo coat. Built for a pony, it was more round than broad, with a collar area that most humans would consider much too low. The front - or underside, as it would be - also had a pair of overlapping flaps lined with those hook-tie things. It made sense; a zipper would be a real bitch with hooves. But the only reason I could imagine for the ‘arm holes’ being so large was so that both a foreleg and a wing would fit through each. I just couldn't quite picture how it would actually look on a pony.

It was also light blue-ish, and satin-y. And very smooth, so ponies clearly knew about thread count. And it smelled just like cloth.

"Does it smell bad?"

Of course she hadn’t missed that. "No. Smells a little… like ponies and like… new." Close enough.

"It should be." It sounded like someone would be in trouble if it wasn't.

Turning away from her - not sure why, since I didn't have any privacy anyways - I figured that without any direction, treating it kind of like any other coat would work best. It was hard to wrangle with one hand - one had to maintain a death grip on my towel! - but once I managed, it sat well enough on my shoulders. As expected, it was too loose in both front and back, and sort of folded down to reveal a lot of chest. That, plus with so much of my sides left bare, it felt very... low brow. And awkward. It might work with a fuller outfit, or at least a shirt, but-

A white-gold pony shape slunk around me right then, practically against me, her head drifting back and forth to take in every little detail. Jumping, I shoved false calmness over myself even as Arissa danced away, her tail flicking gaily.

"Looks good." Oh, she was grinning something fierce. “I thought it would. That’s why it was my first option.”

First? Sure… Of course there had been other options! "Yes, well..." The loop-ties proved an easy distraction. They were all on the outside though, so I was left with just tucking each flap in, tying the… ties, and hoping for the best. It fit a little bit better then, so there was that.

“It’s... different.” She caught herself before continuing right along. “Exotic. Interesting! A lot of ponies will want to meet you and make friends.”

I didn’t want new, pony-type friends; I wanted my old, normal friends! “We will see.” I didn't want a lot of attention either, but I deep in my heart I knew that was a fool’s hope.

She wasn’t phased in the least by my internal snideness. “If gryphons, dragons, and changelings can all find welcome here, I'm sure you will do fine.” Her head shot up. “Oh! You probably don't even know what most of those are! You’ve seen gryphons among the guards, and you might have seen a dragon around somewhere. I think there was one-“

A raised hand stalled her. “I know what all… those are.” The memory of the one - a real, live fucking dragon - chilled my skin. Telling myself we were now on the same side didn’t help as much as I’d hoped.

“You do? Oh!” She gave a twisting shake of her head. “Princess Etherea told you about them?”

How much should I tell her? If I really was free and clear, then we'd probably be having a lot of conversations about these kinds of things. If I wasn’t actually free… well, the point was moot, because I’d need to cooperate anyways.

“Some.” Plopping my butt onto the cot, I bent over to deal with my shoes. “Dragons and gryphons are… legends from… my world.”

If it weren’t for the fuzz in my ears, I imagined I could've heard a pin drop after that bomb.
Arissa had gone completely still, eyes wide and body rigid. She looked at Recorder Pony. Recorder Pony looked back. Then Recorder Pony began scribbling furiously.

“They… are?” Arissa finally asked.

Okay, that had been kind of fun. Kind of a lot of fun!

Oh! Oh… The princesses might not want me to go around throwing out that kind of information. I know the United States government wouldn’t. But the princesses had to have planned for that; not just any pony had been allowed down here.

Never mind. I could keep my mouth shut just in case, and deal with that later. That wasn’t even my primary worry. Was I really going through with leaving? With heading outside? The closer my shoes came to being tied, the more it seemed I was. Just thinking about it solidified a knot low in my chest, but I figured if I just didn’t stop moving forward, then I wouldn’t get bogged down with avoiding it. So I stood when I was done, unsure of how else to signal my, well, forced readiness.

Even as I looked up, the closer set of guards was moving up the hallway. So they’d already noted my willingness. Recorder-pony was also sweeping up his or her things with an amber aura. Arissa, though, was now sitting on her haunches right in the middle of the room.

“Not going to tie your hair back?”

Looking down at my wrist, which had the little band stretched around it, I’d kind of already made the decision without thinking. The band was a little worn, and my hair was unwashed, so the thing wouldn’t work that well. I could deal with all that at the new room. Exciting!

“No. We can go.”

“Perfect!” Her cheerfulness was not infectious. “So you will know what to expect, we’re going down this hall back to the communal room where we first met - there will be nopony there today - and then to the front reception and processing.” She momentarily leaned closer, dipping her muzzle. “Some of my team should be waiting there, just so you know.

“From there we'll take a side access passage that connects to the battlements at the back of the castle complex. It’s a bit of a trot around the side of The Spire, but we're around the northwestern reaches so you-” she dipped her head again, “-won’t have to worry about encountering anypony.

“From the battlements we’ll be heading down into one of the rear park areas. It will be a short walk through them – it’s nice and peaceful-” she grinned and bobbed her head at me, “-and has also already been cleared for you - then it’s around one of the guard wings and into the diplomatic section through a side door. You're up on the second floor, in an area of overflow suites and - again - shouldn't have to worry about many random ponies wandering by.

“The suite is a standard triple with a mutual communal room. One is yours, and yours alone, another is for the monitoring and care material we want nearby, while the last will be for the rest of your helpful staff. If you should need anything, we’ll be just a door away.”

Then she stepped up to me, turning while I was frozen to be inches from my side; close enough to casually touch should I so choose. She bumped my thigh with her shoulder, proving the reverse was just as true.

“The nice soldiers will be with us the whole way,” bending her neck around, she looked up at me with bright eyes, “and I’ll be right here.” I guess I had my very own doctor pony.

My nerves jangled in their courses, and my hand hesitated, but she'd never done me wrong. Arissa’s coat twitched as my fingers fell across her withers, but I quickly got another thigh-bump for reassurance.

I was okay.

“…hem out, if anything feels off, let me know immediately.”

Stretching my back, I was too nervous to help myself, “Like this… weird ache… the doctor left me with?”

She laughed quietly even though it was a sucky attempt at humor, and nudged me into motion which, deep down, I was grateful for. It neatly took away my option to waffle.

And the first few steps weren't all that hard. I kept imagining Luna jumping out of some corner with a cadre of angry guards, but as that kept not happening, walking continued to be rather easy. After all, other than the trio of guards leading the way, and another set at the doors down ahead, the hallway was bare and quiet. Every cell was conspicuously empty, like there hadn't been a mass of ponies in here last night watching my every move. It was eerie, now that I had a moment between worries.

Even weirder was how the corner gems floated free and began pacing us. It was apparently Recorder-pony's doing, judging by the orange halo around them. She – I assumed by her slight build - fell in behind Arissa and I, while the last three guards followed at a bit of a distance. I was being escorted now, instead of escorted. The difference in attitude was palpable, even though I was again surrounded by guards with those shoulder-mounted staves. Especially since this time they were all upright and locked out of attack position.

My feet momentarily stalled as the door to the large room was opened - the one I tried not to think too hard about - but there was no fanfare, nobody lying in wait, and certainly no dragon overlooking the far door. The other cells had also been empty, so other than us and the guards, the whole place seemed just plain uninhabited. My free hand still grasped at her over the tips of her shoulder blades, and in the back of my mind I felt bad for mussing up her coat.

Arissa was talking - saying something in a reassuring tone - as we went right on through the room and entered areas that were new to me. “…eyufial riyiussha foot coverings you have, Alex.” Arissa was looking down, watching my feet as we passed along the next hallway - a short one of maybe twenty feet. “Are they particularly nice? They look well-made.”

What? It took me a second to switch back to Equestrian. “They are alright? Not very fancy. Good enough for every-day. Why?”

“I’m curious. It looks like-“

We passed through the thickest set of doors yet, and out into a much larger space – maybe three stories tall - painted or constructed of a darker warm brown tone. We were still indoors, but the sudden lack of oppressiveness to the air, and the shaded light streaming through two-story windows high in the far wall marked a major change. Underground we were no longer.

Beyond an enclosed workstation by the doorway out lay a small expanse of desks, other bits of furniture that were harder to identify, and what seemed to be delineated queue lines like those in an airport. The problem was that I could see that there were many more details to the architecture, but not what they actually were! This was clearly a place of some activity, but it was just as eerily empty as the rest of the… dungeon. Mostly. A cluster of ponies to our left, who had been sitting on a number of the couches and benches, rose to await us.

I only noticed I'd stopped when Arissa bumped me again. She was, and had been, talking at me.

“…nasi, Alex, they're part of our group. They're just going to walk with us.”

The surprise was unwelcome, but-

No. They weren’t a surprise. Arissa had specifically told me someone would be here. So, that was okay. If they were here to help.

“You’ve met Doctor Isshenaen,” Arissa dipped her nose toward a familiar brown blur, who returned the gesture at me. “Then we have Aulullu Threllinun-“ she indicated an aquamarine, white, and gold pony shape, “-lead researcher in the Department of Theoretical Harmonic…”

Around she went. There were actually only five of them, so it was hardly a herd, but I wasn’t going to remember even a single name because one of them wasn’t even a fucking pony! Sure, it was shaped almost like a pony - head, long neck, long body, four legs - but it’s form was too ‘boxy.’ With its longer, narrower head, no mane or tail that I could see - not that I was going to check back there - and almost frail-looking legs, I really wanted to call it a deer. But then there were the thick black stripes running backwards through its ruddy coat, starting at the top and sides its face, and going all the way down across its back and flanks. And then there were the large gray swaths at its sides, and its brilliant orange eyes...

“…ekdact, one of the leading authorities on Ka'oraxsek alterations. He's here because of his knowledge of systemic changes due to large and small scale-“

The not-deer - he! - bent a knee, bobbing his whole front while lowering his head. At the same time his sides spread-

Wings! He had fucking bat wings! Yup, now I wasn’t remembering shit else about the rest of them. I tried not to stare at the… buck, avoiding his eyes while everyone else got an introduction, but... Damn! Ponies were ponies - I knew of them, more or less - but this was a real alien alien! And I could’ve reached out to touch him!

I… Wow… I was the first person to ever be in this situation. What do I do? What should I-?

Arissa bumped me again. “...easu with us, Alex?”

What? Oh! She'd stopped talking and now everyone was watching me. Just like that, I needed the comforting familiarity of the cell again.

“It’s alright if you need a moment before we continue.” She paused, a round of nods circling through the group.

Here? In this wide open space that I’d caused to be evacuated? No! And I’d been promised a safe place! Taking a steadying breath, I searched for words, “No. We can go.”

She pressed her side against my thigh, letting the contact linger. “We’re going through that doorway-“ The blurry and open one to the side; not the larger, double off to our right, got it. “-and then up a set of stairs.”

Starting up again wasn't as hard as I expected. As she and I parted the group like wind-kissed wheat, my feet were perfectly content to let Arissa lead me, even if my heart was beating half-thought objections against my ribs. I slowed down a little as two of the group - a golden brown pegasus and a stormy gray unicorn - slipped by and began pestering the guards. Thank God my life was blurry, because unlike the guards, they weren’t wearing anything over their rumps, and their tails bounced and swished all over the place.

The doors guarding the stairs were impressively thick, and what little I could see of their fronts seemed designed to blend in with the surrounding wall. And the stairs beyond? Awkward as fuck. They were weirdly deep - the ponies could stand on one without having to turn sideways - but for me it meant a couple off-size strides to get to the next. The things went in a straight line, eventually disgorging us up through another set of heavy doors that were clearly designed to fall closed over the stairway, apparently meant to lie flush with the floor when down. Talk about high ground; any defenders would essentially be standing on anyone trying to break out! It was a goddamned brutal setup! And these were ponies!

A chill crossed my skin as I realised how well-off I’d actually been in their care.

Continuing directly on from the stairs was a long, clear hallway that curved gently to the left - wide enough for five us to walk abreast - with half-arches every few feet supporting a ceiling that sloped down from left to right. As far as I could see - maybe a hundred feet, or so - every third arch was part of a pair that also framed an alcove in the right wall, each one letting soft light pour into the hall. At the same time, the air here was lighter, little whisks of breeze tickling my ankles and carrying sweet hints of fresh growing things.

I looked into that first alcove as we passed. It wasn’t terribly deep, and the far wall had a tall, very narrow window in it. No glass, grate, or covering obstructed the green and blue I could seen beyond.

It hit me. The window was open. That was Equestria! Just one measly wall away! My feet stalled again, all my readiness fleeing. Maybe the cell wasn’t such a bad place. After all, I was just little, old me, and that… that…

Arissa chirped something at my side, leaning into me. “...strong. You can do this. It’s not far.”

I bit back the urge to snipe at her, because even as resistant as I felt, I had to admit that she might have a point. It was hard to admit even to myself, but this wasn’t just nerves; I really wanted to look out that window. Who wouldn’t? That, out there, was something entirely new, and that made it so interesting as to be a burning need. The whole of Equestria laid out before me? Would it be the palace? Some part of Canterlot that hadn’t made the show? I might see anything!

Pinkie’s ‘nervouscited’ was so appropriate. This was like walking to my own exe- No! What a fucking terrible example! More like heading up to a cliff. There was always the worry that I’d somehow end up going over the edge, but damn it all, I still wanted to look!

All I had to do was keep going, because the whole of Equestria was ahead of me, not just one lousy window. My legs started a little unsteadily, though that largely worked itself out as we got back into a rhythm. At the same time, the group’s conversations picked up right where they’d left off.

“…gait is so much more fluid now. Just look…”

“…there’s not even that much draw…”

“...agree. We can’t without…”

“…if it drops more than a third should…”

“…how flows can be so steady…”

I didn’t need to understand what they were talking about to see that nopony was anxious, nopony was yelling, and nopony was even that tense. It lent an air of much appreciated calm to the trek. All the freaking out was just me.

“...ivi niyem was the old Canderiloen jail.” Then there was Arissa, who seemed to think that I too needed a conversation to be part of. “It’s hardly more than a tourist attraction these days. I think this is the first time in twenty years that it's been used as the builders intended.” She bumped my thigh again.

Great? Was that supposed to be comforting?

“...initial structures when the castle complex was first being built. The castle commands the overlook and approaches, while the jail-” she tipped her head to indicate behind us, “-was placed at the far western of Olestherad. If anypony got out, they’d have to get past the castle. Pegasi were another issue of course.”

Of course. I wonder what they did for-

“Out there,” this time she pointed her muzzle past me, to another alcove, “used to be clear field. But about the time of the Princess’ ascension, the castle was expanded, and the influx of ponies required a better solution. The Canderiloen hedge maze was initially grown to make it harder for potential escapees, and it eventually included enchantments to confound even flyers who got too close.”

Neat?

“Actually, doctor,” the deeper, slightly worn voice of one of the forward guards commanded our attention, “The Spire wasn’t gifted to ponies until well after the princesses’ ascension, and the fort not started until years after that. About seventy years before Lunalislensulla, I think. The hedge came even later when-”

The what?!

“-course it was after their ascension; Ka’oraxk wasn’t given to us until then. That’s basic history!” Arissa stared at the guard for a second, then gave her neck a shake. “I really have been away too much. I hardly feel pony anymore.”
The guard, still looking over his back at us, shook with laughter I couldn’t hear. At least he raised his speaking voice.

“Correct. And the hedge was started-”

“-by inmates. I remember now.”

Guard Pony’s head bobbed in agreement. “Prisoners who behaved themselves were allowed outside to garden, and they planted the first hedges, which they then used to sneak short moments of privacy. But the princesses quickly realized the benefit of a completed maze, and co-opted the inmate’s efforts.” He looked about ready to laugh, and his wry tone reflected that. “Though apparently they weren’t aware of the situation until guards began reporting on the amount of time that had to be devoted to foalsitting.”

I blinked. The inmates hadn’t been-?

Arissa, on the other hand, didn’t hold back her laughter. “What else would anypony possibly use the hedges for?”

“Not much has changed over the years,” agreed Guard Pony.

Hah! I snorted, adding to the good-natured chuckles all around me. In response, I got a grin from Arissa. What?

Actually, it wasn’t just her - it felt like everypony was watching. Well, the other forward guards didn’t look like they were, but the two ponies who’d slipped past us had their heads angled so they could see. When I checked behind me, Deer Guy definitely had his eyes on me. Was he staring? My shoulders itched, so it felt like he was. This is why I didn’t call attention to myself!

Distraction time! I motioned around at the nigh-endless hallway. “What about this?”

“It’s the supply bypass.” Arissa looking forward, waiting until the helpful guard gave an affirmative nod. “As the hedges went up, it became more difficult to come and go from the prison, so the guard built this fortified access hallway. They could then move freely to and from the prison, and it let them keep an eye on the hedge maze.”

So that’s what I’d see from those thin windows.

“There are actually a number of vantage points.” That was the guard chiming in again. “Between this, the western defenses of the castle, the outer wall along the edge, and some perches on clouds and The Spire, the guard could see every nook and corner of the maze. Only guardsponies and staff were ever allowed to use the hallway, and the door back there-” he motioned behind us with his muzzle, “-is exactingly disguised as part of the wall when shut, so no prisoners would know how to use it to escape. Even so, there were still more defensive measures taken…”

I couldn’t help but tune him out a little. It was hard to imagine tour groups being headed by the kind of guards who would be assigned to actual prisoners, or interdimensional ambassadors, but he’d clearly been through this spiel before. And like any good tour host, something about his explanation made my attention wander. It was nothing against him personally, but this place was apparently over a thousand years old! It didn’t look it. At least not as far as I could see.

I’d once seen a documentary on an old chinese monastery, where the monks had literally worn deep divots into the stone floor by practicing in the same spots for generations. But there was none of that here. The stone tiles were smooth and in good shape, without any scuffs or wear from what I could see, and the architecture around us didn’t look marred by fading or patina.

But if what they were telling me was true, just imagine how much history this place had witnessed-

A sudden jaw-cracking yawn forced its way free. Somehow, even in the midst all this, I managed to still be tired.

“Boring you, are we?” Arissa’s playful lilt accented the lack anyone else talking.

After a moment of pondering my options while eyeing the brighter tunnel ahead, I caved a bit to my irritation. “Yes.”

“We’re coming up on the exit. And then you’ll have the Canderiloen castle complex to interest you. Just think,” she tossed her mane, looking up at me, “you’ll be the first… human to see it!”

Gee, thanks, I’d nearly forgotten all the pressure I was under!

But I still kept my hand on her back, too preoccupied with the last hundred-some feet as an opening into unfettered daylight crawled ever closer. Arissa remained there, a friendly face and warm presence at the ready, with more of those little rumbling noises. They were weird, sure, but if they were meant to comfort, then I could appreciate the spirit in which they were given.

The exit opening resolved before me, so this was it.

Luna could be waiting in ambush on the other side with a cadre of guards!

I knew it was a stupid fear, and one last attempt by my nerves to fail me, which is why my feet kept me moving. But the idea didn’t lack for teeth, and my hand shakily stroked over Arissa’s coat as we passed into the daylight. She simply rolled her shoulders into my ministrations. Yeah, I could count on her.

To our left, the tunnel wall became a sheer expanse of stone extending up into the heavens. On our right, the wall with all the alcoves gave way to crenellations that commanded a view of a deep green sea of foliage. Ahead, and where the walkway was heading, was a broad white tower attached to the cliff face, rising something like two stories over us and connected to a similarly bright wall that extended off to our right. Impressions of surface shadows and regular intervals of darkness had to be overlooks built into both the tower and wall. Overlooks that faced our-

Oh. The tunnel exit would be a death trap. Well, shit. Ponies were supposed to be friendly!

I shivered again, hand pausing on Arissa, but there was still so much more to see! The canopies of giant trees on the other side of the wall nearly overshadowed the tower. Far to the right and behind everything… Oh, behind it all…

Reaching into the sky like a medieval architect’s God-gifted vision of heaven were towers of alabaster and navy, capped in a variety of glinting violet and gold shapes. From what little I could see, things jutted from, circled, or even bridged various levels, some capped or covered much like the towers themselves. There might have been a pattern to it all, but I could hardly tell from here. The only thing I knew for sure was that a single massive spire sat in the center of it all, easily dwarfing everything but the mountain.

I found myself at the crenellations - the kind where the gaps were level with the floor - as though being a few feet closer would somehow let me see the whole castle-city-thing better. I waved off a concerned call from Arissa and leaned into one of the stone barriers, resting my arms on its flat top. Canterlot wasn’t any clearer, but the position gave an amazing perspective on the sea of green below us, cut with an extensive and varied pattern of neat lines, dead ends, curves, and other geometric shapes.

Some part of me rejected that I was actually here, looking out over The Canterlot Hedge Maze. I squinted. There was another white wall on the far side, and it was barely visible! Just how far was it? Actually, that wall connected to a tower, then another, and another, and so on… and then back to the one we’d been heading toward. Fuck, the whole place was huge! Beyond that far wall was, well, nothing. Just… blue.

We had to be so high up the mountain that we couldn’t even see the surrounding lowlands. Or... my vision was just that bad. Fuck not having contacts!

“The hedge maze,” supplied Arissa, rearing up to hook her forehooves over the crenellation next to mine. She grinned and nodded, then turned back to the view.

I bit back a retort; I could see it. She, of all ponies, didn't deserve my annoyance.

“Originally planted as a deterrent, now it's an attraction for curious ponies with a lot of time on their hooves.”

“Does it still… confuse…?” My eyes snapped upward as my mind caught up with my aborted question. I ignored Arissa’s response as I scanned the sky for irregularities. And there were a few…

Some clouds were right over head - and swaths of high level wisps off in the distance - but there was something different about the blue backdrop behind them. I couldn’t quite pick out what though. It only took a few moments to see that despite the local clouds being all the same relative type, a half-dozen were slowly drifting contrariwise to the rest. And not all were even in tandem with each other!

I wasn’t sure if I was actually seeing small bits of organized motion amongst them, or if my imagination was getting caught up in my strain to see, but there must be pegasi up there! And there could be literally hundreds of ponies watching from those towers! And I was in plain view!

I stepped back, Arissa following the motion. “Okay. We can go.”

She glanced around before slipping back onto all fours, ears flicking. “I understand.”

This time all our hangers-on grouped up behind us, initially silent as we passed into the shadow of the tower, through another set of doors – also wide open – and up a flight of stairs into an open room. Yet more open doors failed to guard against us, with another group of three armored ponies standing near, watching us pass. I was so glad we were on the same side now; these ponies were serious.

“What did you think?”

I glanced down at the doctor, then backward, pulled from looking at the tower’s indistinct furnishings with a shiver. Deer guy was just… there. Following like the rest of them. “I can not believe I... am seeing it.”

Arissa’s next couple of steps had extra bounce. “Wait until you see the palace. And don’t worry, we’ll work out something to help.”

Who was worried? Certainly not me! I had nothing to be worried about!

We took a right, heading down another long but narrower hallway. The whole place was a mix of stone - bright white like the outside, but with pale geometric patterns - and wood accents. It was solid and functional, clearly being the interior of the wall, yet it wasn’t oppressive. The light color probably had something to do with it. And so must the periodic thin windows that let in light and fresh air, and which kept revealing new views of the maze.

Much like before, the windows all tugged at me, but I didn’t - couldn’t - stop, letting Arissa guide me on autopilot. I mean, I'd agreed to get closer to Luna. What was I thinking?!

Well, Etherea had much to do with it. I just needed to get to her first.

Arissa was doing that pony purr-thing again. “It’s alright, Alex. You are fine. You are safe.”

Yeah, no. Real safety felt like such a fleeting thing, though remembering to take deep, easy breaths helped a little. And maybe her stream of comforting words did too.

We entered into another room, this one larger and in sort of a rounded rectangle shape, with a higher, heavily braced ceiling. The two long walls were lined with… storage lockers? Well, except where there were closed doors. Despite having a complement of tables and associated chairs pushed up against the walls, clearing the way for us, it felt like a guard post.

And yup, another set of armored ponies was to one side, standing casually but showing curious ears. I tried to play it cool and ignore them, but my hand stayed firmly latched to Arissa’s withers.

Gotta’ keep moving!

Then we were gone from there too, a quick turn taking us down a corkscrew staircase made of those awkward pony stairs. That let out into a what I was pretty sure was a gift shop, what with organized shelves and displays of knicknacks taking up the lion’s share of the floor space. Barely a glance later and we were back outside, passing through a comparatively smallish doorway that made me feel the need to duck.

On this, the rear of the wall, was a lane of open ground that paralleled its length. Down in one direction the wall connected to more structures I couldn't really make out, while the rock wall of the mountain was the other way, going up and up and… Well, fuck. I’d seen Devil’s Tower, but this was something else. How could something that tall be completely sheer? It didn’t seem natural.

Beside us was a... wide path? Narrow road? Whatever. It was pale, smooth, and came through the wall-straddling, medieval-esque gatehouse structure we’d just stepped out of. On the far side of the path-thingy, gathered in a loose cluster beneath the gatehouse’s inner arch, were a half dozen more armored ponies, watching as intently as I watched them back. I shivered once.

Hey guys! Don’t mind us; just passing through. No, seriously, just stay put.

I didn’t let my feet stop, which worked out doubly well. The gate guards proved agreeable, remaining where they were and we left them behind. Secondly, reaching the shadow of the boughs hid us from the sky, lifting a weight from me and letting me catch a breath. I took it gladly.

And that’s when a burning tickle struck the back of my sinuses.

“Alex?!” Arissa worri-

-and SNEEZE!

Damnit!

The guards, who had started to turn, leapt clear off the ground as they whirled. Arissa popped up right in front of me just as abruptly, peering up with ears rigid and eyes wide.

“Rusiol a sher, Alex!”

I held up a hand, otherwise helpless.

Leaning to the right, I fired the second one past her.

“And there… is two.”

“Two?” Arissa had gone a little shrill. “What’s going on? What was that?”

I held up a hand. “It is okay. It is! Just sneezes.” ‘Just?’ No. Nothing is ‘just’ with this! Look at all the shit Etherea and I had gone through!

Yet just like that, Arissa relaxed, standing down. “‘Just sneezes?’ Good, I thought so. But why? Why now?” It didn’t seem like she was directly addressing me with the question, but then she stepped closer, trying to bring her face up to mine. “Has anything changed?”

No? At least nothing more than now having post-sneeze relief, so I shook my head. She probably wanted me to be thorough though. “My nose will run… for a little… while.”

“Run?” Her eyes darted and she shifted in place, ears flip-flopping. “Will it require my assistance?”
All I could do was blink in response.

“I’m serious.” She was certainly wearing an appropriate expression. “If anything about your… symptoms becomes unusual, I need to know.”

I got it already! We’d only been over this… Well, I’d lost count how many times.

Gritting my teeth, I made sure my response was more measured. “Will do.” Taking a look around, I found that all our hangers-on spread out in a rough half circle, all looking similarly intense. And yup, there was Deer Guy, ears just now rising back up from a half-crouch. “Two is pretty normal. Feel fine. Might just have… been, um-” I shrugged in indecision, “-in and out of… the sunlight-”

“Sunlight? Do your people have problem with it?! I can’t believe I didn’t ask yet! Is there-”

I grabbed at the edge of my vest-thing, forced back by the frantic pony.

Her mouth snapped shut, and shaking out her neck, she also stepped back. “Apologies. I do not mean to frighten. It’s-”

I nodded. Yes. Etherea and I’d been through this too! Chuckling from the sudden amusement and relief, I had to reassure her too. “Sun is no problem.” Or is it? Magical pony star, and all… I’d rather not upset her with conjecture. “Bright light can… tickle nose. I feel just… fine.”

She grinned after a moment, making a vaguely happy sound. “We’re strangely alike for being worlds apart.”

It took me a moment to place her meaning. “Yes. I noticed.” But there were bigger things commanding my attention. Like, y’know, being out here in an incomplete set of pony clothes. The ever-present vague sense of unease was trying to knot itself, so I didn’t want to dawdle if I could help it. “Can we…?” I gave the path a meaningful look.

“Of course.” And yet, she remained for an awkward moment, head shifting slightly as she appeared to ponder something. One of the forward guards must have said something, because Arissa snapped an affirmative, pivoted, and took a small first step before looking back at me. The invitation was clear.

Passing beneath the great trees provided plenty of cover, sure, but also another reason to get right back inside: the air was just this side of ‘cool.’ Out in the sun it had been fine, but in the shade, and in a very open pegasus vest, the goosebumps were multiplying. It still wasn’t bad, per se, but the ponies could definitely have set the thermostat higher.

My hand drifted up to Arissa’s withers again. At least she was nice and warm.

The lightly undulating landscape around us was very park-like, with large tracts of open land between the trees. They were just so big as to shade the whole area. Breaking up the consistency were colorful patches that had to be flowerbeds - public picnic buffets? - as well as swaths of bushes, shrubs, and other low plants that seemed to have a carefully cultivated wildness. Paths branched off of our walkway, meandering off and out of sight past the carefully chosen breaks to line of sight. It was the kind of place that made you want to wander off into and explore.

And being gradually revealed ahead was a bright, directly lit area. So no more trees…

I couldn’t help myself. “Are we there yet?”

That got me a curious look.

“Sorry. Human joke… when things are taking… a while.”

“Oh!” Arissa laughed lightly. “Almost. You're doing great!”

Showed how much she knew. “No. You are supposed… to say ‘do not make… me turn this… thing around!’”
Another curious look. Yeah, she didn’t get it, which only made me more determined to just drop the subject. It was a stupid thing that made me look stupid anyways.

Then I received another shoulder bump, Arissa extending her head when I looked down. “Look ahead. Past the last trees is the park - part of the rear gardens - but you should be able to see our destination ahead on the right. It’s not far now.”

Sure enough, there was white and blue through the trees. Finally! It still took a solid minute to exit the main body of the forest though. Even then, it never really stopped; the spaces between trees just became wider and more open. To our left, a couple hundred yards away, was a white structure boasting teal, violet, and gold portions, built against the face of the mountain and stretching tall like it was trying to climb the towering gray behemoth. Between it and us wasn't all grass and trees either; a large pond was over by the far edge, fed by a pair of streams coming from the direction of the spire. Near the water on our side was an open pavilion, benches and things visible beneath. Strange and colorful ovals also dotted the ground throughout the park, each maybe five feet long by my best guess, and arranged here and there in round patterns.

At least there were no ponies. How much effort had they gone through to clear everyone out?

The walkway branched, leading off in multiple directions, but we went right, skirting the area and staying under the outer branches of the main body of the forest. This put us on course for another white structure, the blue patches that I’d seen through the trees turning out to be accents around its base. Three stories high, set with tall windows, and partially obscuring a tall dome in the near distance, it curved out toward us. However, the path led to a graceful inward dip in walls - a clear entryway - that went under the upper stories and opened up into a small enclosed garden.

It was just a building. But it also wasn’t; it was a fucking huge pony building. Maybe that’s why the architectural choices seemed so weird. Like… contrary to the outer wall, the levels around the courtyard rose higher and were tiered, with the upper stories set back from the lower ones. Would that make this an atrium or a forum? Would it even be either since this was a building and not just… seating for a stage?

So as my restless eyes took everything in, I stayed right against Arissa for the small safety of her presence, hand pressed firmly between her shoulder blades.

There was so much to see! Benches, patches of grass and flowers - I assumed - and paths were arranged in bisected circles around a small fountain with an elaborate centerpiece. All were noticed yet soon forgotten as we came to another door. Double, wooden, and solid, it was at the top of two steps and invitingly open. My feet hesitated at the threshold, crying for me to make absolutely sure the other side was safe.

Inside was a hallway that appeared to be mostly wood, with swooping, light-colored patterns filling the upper portions and reaching out onto the ceiling. Rising every few feet to support that ceiling were delicate stone columns that also worked to break up the rest of the patterns. And best of all was that the place was empty. One slow step turned into more, taking me closer to an open interior space just ahead.

“...a su ambassadorial reserve wing at the rear of the palace.”

“Thanks,” I replied automatically.

She just grinned, tossing her head lightly.

Yeah, okay, I was fine. Sure.

The open space… God, if only I'd had working eyes! It went up, up, up… with several levels of railings, supports, and other flourishes I couldn’t accurately see, each clearly a floor unto itself. And to cap it all off - literally - was the dome. It had to be the one I’d seen outside, because even I could see the expansive, tiered panorama of sky painted in the spaces between the dome’s ribbing, a multitude of winged creatures cavorting through it.

This must be what it would be like to step into The Pantheon back on Earth. “Wish I could… see.”

Arissa rubbed her shoulder against my hip. “You will. All of this. You're doing very well, Alex, just a little further.”

I guess we’d entered from the rear, because across the open area from us was a vaulted… causeway? Transept? What term would even work for a massive, four story tall hallway-thing that would have been at home at the center of a cathedral? Whatever was appropriate, it was less a passageway and more that the building had a hollow core, allowing us to see clear down to the other end. Fucking ostentatious. Who the hell needs this much open space?

Deer Guy answered my question by being; he could probably just fly between the floors.

For some reason I expected the guards to head right down the middle of the place, but they turned along the wall and instead took… a ramp. An elegant, if simple, solution for ponies I supposed. There were in fact a series of them curling up along the walls to higher floors. The first took us a quarter of the way around the room on its way up to the next floor, and on cresting the top, the guards swung around again to backtrack around the outside of the second floor. Doing so gave us an absolutely fantastic view of the room-ringing mural we’d crossed below, which seemed to be pastoral with brightly-colored shapes – ponies? – chasing each other around.

God, I wanted to be able to fucking see!

Fuck it! Not worth my time.

So I turned back to where we were going. The floor we were on connected with the other side of the building - crossing the open center passage - though again our guards turned, taking us down the near side. Toward another large, open area it seemed. In fact, I was pretty sure there was a third beyond that. This building didn’t go all the way to… well, I wasn’t sure what I expected - some part of the palace, maybe - but it was still a long fucking way to the other end.

We passed doors as we walked, which drew my eyes even though we had a perfect view up and down the center of the place. All seemed divided across the middle kind of like, well… I looked around at my company. Was it weird that pony doors looked like stable doors? But they were still clearly Equestrian constructs, being carved with intricate patterns and painted brightly. And they were quite short, the break between the top and bottom halves was only around crotch height.
I’d really have to watch my noggin around here.

But something was really bugging me. A building meant people. Or, well, inhabitants. And this place was huge! Doors meant rooms, which were places for said inhabitants. You know what I wasn’t seeing any of?
“You actually... cleared everypony out?”

Arissa nodded her head, but it was the guard who spoke first. “Yes, sir. This is still a very delicate situation, and we felt that a certain level of discretion was appropriate.”

“We thought you'd appreciate it,” added Arissa more gently.

Looking back and forth between the two, I couldn’t decide whether to add my two cents in response. Even if I was the only representative of humanity, so much effort just for me… My skin crawled at the thought. I mean, how many ponies worked or lived here?

“Thanks.” It would have to do; I was having enough trouble with a calm façade.

“Quite all right, sir. We are glad that this situation is turning out as well as it is.” Sounds of agreement came from his two companions. “Much seems to be unintended consequences, and I would like you to know that the ponies with me understand that you are just as caught up as the Princess was.”

Thanks? That sounded almost like an apology. It also begged the question of just what they'd been told. I didn’t get the chance to muddle out a question as the next space opened before us.

Did I say ‘space?’ It hardly even deserved to be called interior, though it was much like the last: round, open, and multi-floored. Equestria must have borrowed design cues from The Galactic Empire from Star Wars, because the new area was far too spacious - big enough to easily hold the area we’d just left - with a floor like a tiny indoor park. Collections of seats and benches dotted the floor, broken up by paths and planters, and even an asymmetrically-shaped ‘natural’ pool burbling away in the center. The dome above this was a skylight the way a sandcastle was a medieval defensive structure. I couldn’t even tell how it was braced, but I could see the curvature built across its panes.

Another three guards stood below, spaced around the area, but an open door halfway around the place - much like the ones we'd been passing - commanded my focus. Two unarmored pony shapes bracketed it, and as we came around, one disappeared inside. The other took a step toward us, jerked to a halt, and then got moving again, gaining surety as it closed with us. The guards stepped aside, they and the newcomer nodding to each other in passing.

Who the hell was this now?! I forced my breathing to steady. One pony couldn’t be anything bad, could it?

“H-Hello doctor and…” She, a terra cotta-colored unicorn, had a fairly dry voice - older maybe? - that was on the quiet side.

Arissa kept right on going, angling across the new mare’s path, forcing her to make a wide turn. “Sorry, Hirethroen, but he’s highly uncomfortable with all this. We’re getting him inside.” She flashed a smile up at me, again rubbing her shoulder against me mid-stride.

Yes, thanks, doc. My own, private room sounded good. Really good.

“O-oh. Yes, of course.”

Hire-? Er… It was hard enough to remember people’s names on Earth, and now I was surrounded by all these weird-ass pony names. Well, H-something… what’s-her-face fell in on Arissa’s other side, ears flicking madly as she looked me over.

“It’s nice to meet you, A-Alecks. I-I’m Hirethroen. I'm in charge here, um, of the back wing of the diplomatic grounds that is. If there is anything you need, my ponies will provide. If they can’t, j-just let me know and I'll find somepony who can.” She pointed her muzzle at the open door. “Y-You're being given one of the extra ambassadorial suites for, um... Well, they’re yours.”

“He knows,” said Arissa, rubbing me with her shoulder again. “Almost there. Now, I want you to be prepared, Alex-”
Fuck! What now?!

“-there are going to be a number of ponies in there. I didn't want you to be surprised.”

Oh, of course there were! But getting right to my room was still the plan, right? Strengthening my grip on the towel, I braced against my own nerves. I better not fucking drop it now!
“You're doing just fine, Alex.”

Sure, I was… I still managed a soft thanks, keeping my sarcasm out of my voice.

The head maid - I guess she was - jerked when I spoke, nearly tripping over her hooves. Even blurry, I saw her ears pull back for a second.

“Yes, he can speak Equosar.” Arissa sounded just shy of laughing her ass off. “It’s just a spell. Once we have a moment, somepony will go over the specifics with you and your staff.”

“Reta,” said a male voice behind me.

Ow... Whipping around to see who’d spoken was fucking dumb; the pain wasn’t gone. It wasn’t even Deer Guy who’d spoken, just one of the others telling Head Maid something about explaining the situation. I again waved off Arissa’s concern. I’m okay, I’m okay. Just forgetful and stupid.

Arissa turned to Head Maid as we filed across the threshold, “Sorry for the short...” She launched into something that was too fast for me to follow.

The room we'd entered was large enough to be three or four combined. In fact, it seemed to be that many in one: eating and cooking took up much of the right - judging by the table, counters, and cabinets - while the front-center was open and available for whatever, and there was seating and gathering space on the left. And the place was full of ponies!

Ponies, ponies, everywhere...

There were actually ‘only’ ten or so. And I’d even been warned, but that didn’t seem to matter, my heart spastically missing a beat or two. Every eye was on me! Heat bloomed, my brain scrambling at friend and foe assessment, the room’s openness evaporating.

But there was space around me! I wasn’t even in reach any of them!

Why? Why was I not okay?

Arissa turned sideways, gently pushing me. She was trying to usher me toward the central of three widely-spaced doors in the slightly curved far wall.

Okay or not, I was the representative of all humanity. My breath hitched, but I fought back for a moment.

“No.” It was barely a whisper - just for her ears - and it gave me the two seconds I needed to look everyone over. Hi. I think I even managed a smile, awful and strained though it must have been.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck! I needed to be anywhere but here!

“O-ok-kay.” But I'd done it!

I jerked forward, intent on being away! Everything blurred in a rush, but Arissa's warm presence never lost touch, guiding me unerringly. Through the open door we went, me fully ready to eject anyone on the other side, physically if necessary. It was just an empty hallway though, with brilliant daylight streaming in from the room at the other end. Rattled through and through, I slapped a hand to the wall as soon as I heard the crack of a slammed door, bracing myself on weak knees.

God, this was awful! Fuck that situation. Fuck this fear. And fuck my inability to control it!

A harried look around showed no further surprises. Nothing immediate that is... There was, however, a familiar white unicorn bodily checking the door, stiff and alert on her haunches. Bless her little unicorn heart!

“Talk to me, Alex. How can I help?”

That… was a good question. “I-I am fine.” As long as my heart let up within the next few minutes.

She said something else but my faint legs needed respite, and that meant finding a safe place. Easily said.

The hall wasn’t even much of one, being more of a narrow space between rooms really, with an open door on the left, a large opening on the right, and… the room at the other end that appeared to be quite deep. Through the door - also the split variety - was the promised bathroom! Most everything within was at least recognizable, and not much different than I’d seen in Etherea’s room. It also had a second door that probably accessed the rear room.

A sitting area, complete with bench-couch-things, small tables, and plenty of shelf space full of… well, stuff, as best I could see, was on the other side of the open wall. Its rear wall also opened right into the back room, which was looking bigger and bigger the more I saw of it. I wended my way around the furniture and I poked my head into the… bedroom. No other ponies - or anything else - were in sight, even with several overly tall, un-curtained windows letting light in through the arc of the far wall. Right near me, and in perfect view of the windows, was more seating, but the bed was in the back-left, by my perspective, and also away from the windows, next to, well, the other bathroom door.

So the least-visible location - unless I wanted something stupid like crawl under the bed - was the sitting area. One of the bench-couches near the front wall was out of sight from the entry door, so I took full advantage, plopping my sorry ass down. It was almost too low for my legs to be comfortable, and the fuzzy discomfort in my back wasn't appreciative, but fuck it, I had a nice, quiet, and secluded seat.

So breathe, Alex. Just breathe.

It did little though. Once the adrenaline pumps had had a moment to cool down, my hands really started to shake, exhaustion rushing in to fill the void with a numbing, bone-deep weakness.

Arissa, who had been silently tailing me the whole time, stopped beside the coffee table in the middle of the room, looking me right in the eyes. “You did very well, Alex. That was very strong of you.”

It's like she was in my mind, specifically poking at all my doubts. I still shook my head. No, I was pretty sure that I was probably the wimpiest first representative humanity could have provided.

She took a small step forward. “Take your time; relax. We don’t have any pressing concerns at the moment.”

I nodded. Thank God.

“So, what can I do to help put you at ease? What would you like me to do?”

I… I had no idea! I was no psychologist! Hugs? That sounded good, in theory. And I think professionals would tell me I was going to make it through this and be fine. Or was that just cliché?

“Give me time,” was all I felt sure of saying. Or, well… “Staying, um, close is alright. Having s-somepony there… is comforting.” I bobbed my head, finalizing the thought. “I will get… used to it.”

She sat still for a second, contemplating, then dipped her head. “I understand. Now,” she leaned forward just a bit, “I would like to do a quick examination. Would that be alright?”

Ummmm… “And then food?”

With a bit of a laugh she got up. “Yes. I'll make sure you get something good.”

She placed each hoof exactingly, gauging my response I guessed, but I was fine. I was!

“What are you… looking for?”

Angling a bit to my left, she paused just within reach. “I’m going to step up.”

That didn't answ-

She reared, planting her hooves on the armrest. At least she didn’t climb onto the couch. There might've been room enough for two or three ponies up here, and she’d been that close back on my cot, but still…

“A number of things. First, I’m looking for general state changes. Prolonged, extreme emotions can affect the local Harmony, and likewise the self. I doubt I will find anything because your exposure is hardly ‘prolonged’ yet.”

That… Wow. I might be warping Harmony - their very world? - just by being unhappy? That wasn’t calming at all! That was the opposite of calming! Staring into space, I fought resurgent nerves as her head moved around in one side of my vision, giving her different angles on, well, it seemed the air near me. Her horn kept an obvious halo, so who knew what the fuck she was actually doing.

I… Maybe I was looking at it the wrong way. I only needed to worry if she found anything. But how could I not worry that she’d find something?

“How do you like the pegasus vest?”

What did that have to do with anything?! “Um… feels weird.”

She dropped down with a solid thump of hooves, but soon popped up again behind my other side. Her breath tickled the bare area top of my shoulder. “How so? Does it sit poorly?”

I would have given her the most deadpan of looks if I hadn’t been so focused on just maintaining. “It was made… for a pegasus.”

She chuckled right behind me. “Yes. Yes, it was. Would it be alright if I had you remove it?” Her voice moved a little more right-ward. “Just for a little. I want to see how your back is doing.”

I didn’t move as the bottom dropped out of my stomach. Of course she did. It wasn’t like it felt very concealing, but I still had to swallow the desire to tell her to fuck off. This was Arissa! And no one else was around.

My poor ears tried to focus, wary for the sounds of anyone- anything besides us as I fiddled with the vest's loop ties. Nope, they were a bit much for my twitchy fingers. I needed both hands. Just had to let go of my towel.

Arissa kept moving around so she was obliquely forward on my right, eyes still roving around near me, never focusing on any particular thing that I could tell. The point was she wasn't specifically watching me undress, which felt ‘professional.’

With a little shifting, I got the vest to fall down around me on the couch. “So… finding anything?”

Her eyes met mine briefly and I looked away. “Nope! Everything feels normal.” The halo around her horn winked out. “Without disharmony there’s only harmony. Or that's what they say. I’m not going to question good fortune when it happens.”

Yeah, sure. That was kind of my thinking, so it was nice to get some reinforcement.

“How does your back feel?” She disappeared back around the couch-thing, and after a moment I felt the backrest give a little. I didn't flinch… much. It helped that she'd placed herself a little to one side so I could kinda' see her out of one eye.

“It is… the same.”

“That’s good. Lean forward a little bit, please.”

Done.

I twitched when the warm, hard curve of a hoof touched just below my right shoulder blade. For a second I wondered why there wasn’t more pain. Yeah, I can be a bit slow. But in my defense, I had so much to pay attention to! Like, that was a pony behind me!

Her hoof moved across me, gently probing each bandage in turn. “Looks-”

Several dull thumps reached my ears. Both our heads shot up.

That had come from the door! Who…? Fuck it, I didn’t really want to know. Arissa seemed similarly resistant to the idea of visitors; her sharp words were almost too soft to understand, but they lashed at the silence.

“Just stay here.” She stalked away, tail flicking, but pulled up shy of the hallway and looked back. “You are safe here. Remember that.”

Right. Sure. My lower brain still strongly begged to differ. But the point was moot, since she turned and disappeared. Damnit, damnit, damnit!

Someone was talking. Two actually. I strained and strained but caught nothing useable. The other voice was deeper and more masculine though. My unwillingness to move was now interfering, but-

Nope, Arissa could handle this.

When she crossed back into view I got to see her do something completely new: scrape a hoof at the floor. Okay, so that wasn't alarming in the least. Nosirree!

“Alex, the guards say that Princess Celestia would like to see you.”

The individual words made sense, but taken as a whole, well… I could only stare for a moment. I knew this would happen at some point, but now? I'd just gotten out of pony prison, walked halfway across Canterlot while near blind, was half-naked, and greasy, and unkempt, and, and, and…! And I'd just gotten my heart under five hundred beats a minute! No! I was not ready for this!

I just couldn't immediately think how to voice that. My throat was stiff and uncooperative. “Can… Can I say no?”

Arissa took a small step sideways across the opening, her head tilting. “Danta?”

‘What’? Oh, fuck! Equosar!

“I…” Shoving my hands between my knees prevented them from fidgeting. Much. “Later?”

Her head angled one way, then the other. Then back again. Even my piss-poor eyes could see her ears flip-flopping madly. “I… suppose. You're really not ready.” Her braid bobbed in time with her head as she turned back toward the door. “She’s very understanding. I'm sure the Princess can, um, wait. You’ve been through so much in such a short time already.”

Yes! That! The Princess would understand, right? She had to.

I drew my knees up as Arissa went to tell off the Princess' messenger. Some representative of humanity I was! First fleeing a group of simple civilians, then hoping that a mere wall would hide me from dealing with any more of them. I had to be better than this. I just… wasn't.

Voices drifted through the air, words still unintelligible, and I planned my escape through the bedroom windows, imagining what I’d find out there. I could get pretty far if I was smart about it, right?
I knew it was a fool's gambit, I was just one-

A jump in somepony’s tone jarred my senses. Had that been Arissa? A second later, she backed into view. I couldn’t see her expression clearly, but she moved stiffly - uncertainly - as her head came around.

Oh, no. Possibilities bombarded me as my brain tried to preempt whatever new horror was about to be revealed. The worst possibility was so obvious. I wasn’t about to get a choice!

Sudden confusion halted me. Why was I on my feet? I wasn’t even wearing the vest yet!

“Alex,” Arissa began, voice strengthening as she continued, “I take it you heard.”

No. Spit it out, woman!

“The Princess is here. She-” Arissa’s attention wavered. “She says it's very important.”

Sure it fucking was! So much needed saying. And I had so many choice-

Nope! This was Celestia; I needed to keep my thoughts about her sister to myself! Celestia might be understanding, but pushing those buttons would probably be suicide; I remembered those deadly magenta eyes and a horn set to blazing death! Even if she’d ended up sparing me...

Another voice sounded, words still below my ability to hear, and Arissa's head whipped back toward the doorway. “Excuse me, Princess,” she cut them off, dipping her front. “Forgive me this, but his ears are still recovering, and, um, he is still acclimating to the translation spell. You will have to speak loud and clear.” She ducked her head once.

An instant of silence wracked my nerves. Was I really about-?!

“Erettha, Alex.”

The heavenly chimes of a descending angel it was not. Nor was it the soul-shaking resonance of a goddess manifest. The actual voice of Princess Celestia was simply lightly-pitched and feminine, with the same subtle undertone that Etherea, Arissa, and every other pony had, though a bit deeper and more rounded than expected.

“Soheriar shi enter? I would like to talk a easu, hen shi feel this conversation should happen ho am shoual nem later.”

My overwhelmed senses could barely keep up, even so. Had she really just asked my permission to enter? Her? The Princess of motherfucking Equestria! I got no help from Arissa, blind to facial details as I was. How could the Princess would play at something like this?!

I carefully picked my words. “It is not as if… I can stop you.”

“You can.” Her simple affirmation neatly crushed my ability to respond. “If you truly lyar non kehri sher to, then I will not, but len esvoar eyufial important. I feel you etrora danta a letheduar what I have to say.”

This was her castle! I was in one of her rooms! Biting my tongue, I clenched trembling hands, trying to rein in the urge to fire back that she fucking stop screwing with me! It was a nice dream that these rooms were my personal haven, but realistically she could do whatever the fuck she wanted. She'd announced herself already, so I just wanted…

I didn’t know. ‘Honesty’ just wasn't quite the word for it.

“Just…” My tight throat didn't agree with making the sounds. One cough, then two, helped clear it slightly. “J-Just come in.”

Arissa had initially made as if to move closer, but failed to actually take that first step. “Are you sure? Princess Celestia wouldn't say such things lightly. If you aren’t comfortable with letting her in-“ her head twitched door-ward, “-she won't.”

At some point I'd snatched up the pegasus vest. Would I be more awkward in its ill fitting embrace, or in my bare skin? Did I even have the time to figure out? The garment offered no answers. Arissa, on the other hand…

“I… have a choice? If it is so important… did not you say-?”

“This is important too!” she blurted, sending a wave of clenched muscles through me. “You need a safe place, Alex. And… I don’t think whatever sh-she wants to discuss is more important than that.” Somepony sure sounded unsure of themself.

“Arissa is correct, Alex. While I surettheya len esvoar fayaia and I think you will want to hear what I have a efriarn loen esvoar not dire, so the decision is yours.”

Celestia really needed to master the art of talking slow enough to understand! Fuck! I think I got what she was about. Something, something, she needed to talk, but it was my choice in the end. My upset ebbed into resignation, a rush of fatigue following; I just wanted this to be over, and I was the only thing holding things up. Again, fuck! If I really wanted to get to Etherea - and I did! - I needed to do better. To be better!

Plopping my sorry ass down on the couch, I waved a hand at the air, mentally bracing myself. “Just come in.”

Heat rushed over me from that simple declaration, my heart leaping into a frenzy and my nerves again thrumming. The Goddess-Princess of ponykind was about to enter. I wasn't ready! I’d never be ready! My fumbly, jittery fingers did a poor job with the simple ties of the vest as I finally remembered to pull it back on.

When I looked up again the hallway was still empty. Somehow, that made the whole situation worse! Straining to hear, I made out the tail end of several someones talking. One - Celestia, I was sure - said something with finality that an unidentified male voice agreed to. I thought.

Then Arissa came back around the intervening bit of wall, heading straight for me. She didn’t get in range for me to gauge her expression before a gleaming white pony stepped into view behind her, head upright and wings held loosely, given how they bobbed with every movement. Magenta eyes dominated the pony’s features while glinting gold and silver ornamentation - not armor - adorned its brow, breast, and legs below the knees.

Now that I had a clear view of it, Celestia’s mane, well… the cartoon didn't - couldn’t - do it justice. It wasn’t four striated colors like in the show. No, the whole thing rippled with a spectrum of brilliant iridescence, with warm golds, greens, and teals shifting smoothly into cooler blues, lavenders, and violets as the light played across it. The idea that it was caught in some unfelt wind was there, but wasn’t nearly as dramatic as that made it sound; it rolled backward in gentle undulations to caress her shoulders and back, buoyed by gentle unseen forces.

I still couldn’t imagine how it didn't drive her mad.

We eyed each other up, a pregnant pause filling the space between us.

Something pressed against the point of my knee, giving it a rub through the blanket. Arissa had her cheek outright against me. When our eyes met, more low vibrations came through as she smiled up at me.

“You’re being very brave.”

Shows how much you know.

A little turn put Arissa side-on to the couch-thing, and as close to me as she could get without hopping up here too. It also put her head in easy reach, I noted. “Princess, I'd like you to meet Alex. Alex, this is Princess Celestia.”

That was all we each got?

“Hello, Alex. I have been looking forward to meeting you.”

Oh, sure, now you are? What about yester-?!

I clamped down hard on those feelings. Celestia was unarmored, without guards, and her horn was still, so this was as equitable a presentation as I could hope for. And she was supposed to be one of the trustworthy ones. Still, my pulse was up again - I could feel it in my ears! - but I couldn’t tell if it was the restrained anger, fear at facing one of those who'd put me in my current position, or because this was the Princess Celestia. Or maybe all of the above!

For a moment we just eyeballed each other, this vast distance between us adding so much tension to the room. I couldn’t quite look right at her, but she blinked first - figuratively - by lowering her face.

“I am truly sorry for what has happened to you, Alex, and for my part in it.” She dipped her head. “I and my ponies will do everything…”

A purple head poked around the wall from the direction of the door, leading with a horn complete with magenta halo. I recognize those purple and blue bangs. Who’d let Twilight in? Was… I going to have to face both of them?

“...brought the possessions of yours that I could retrieve. I’m sure you are eager to have them back.”
Celestia’s final words piqued my already not-inconsiderable interest. I hesitated, but needn't have worried.

“Doctor, would you mind?”

That made Arissa twitch, her ears flipping back, then forward. She had been staring at Twilight too.

I got another gentle bump from her nose before she retraced her path back across the room. Celestia lifted her right wing, head dipping to that side, and revealed something - a bag, maybe - out of which a couple other somethings floated. Both were small, black squarish things.

Arissa met them halfway across the room, the horn-cast backlighting switching color just before she turned to backtrack again. She took full advantage of the opportunity, stretching her head closer to each item, one after the other, as she had them lead the way to me.

One of the objects was thinner and shinier- My phone! I’d... tossed it away when I rushed to help Etherea, hadn’t I? My hand lashed out almost as soon as it was in range, surprising even me, but I hesitated just shy of contact. Its two halves had been slid open, revealing the keyboard. Had that happened when I threw it - I couldn't see how - or had that been the ponies? Had they seen my background when the screen lit up? Had Celestia seen her own digital sprite?! Shit!

Arissa flinched away from my hand, pausing her curious examination long enough to offer it up. I nabbed it, noted that it didn’t seem to have any new wear and tear, slid it closed, and looked up at the lot of them. All three were just watching, every ear perked, with the Princess now sitting on her haunches. Why...?

And yes, her tail flowed and rippled much like her mane, even while curled around her hooves. It was like she was sitting on a particularly-colorful patch of writhing carpet.

“How are you doing, Alex?” There we are; cue the game of twenty questions!

Let’s go with miserable, of course! But I restrained myself. “Not well.”

Arissa's tail swished as she pulled her eyes from my phone and looked up at me. I didn't feel like elaborating.

“I can only imagine how terrifying this must be,” said Celestia, her voice soft enough that I had to strain to hear, “taken from your home and loved ones. There is so much about this situation I wish we could have avoided.” She tipped her nose toward me. “And I understand you were badly injured in the process. How is that coming along?”

Shifting in place and feeling how the ache moved, I held back more frustrated thoughts. I needed to stay diplomatic. “It is… better…”

“Good. We’ve all been concerned for you, so I’m very glad that Doctor Derinetth and her associates have been able to help.” She sounded genuinely relieved, but I couldn’t help a few very snide thoughts. “Is your device still in good condition?”

I glanced down at the phone my fingers were idly fiddling with. Nodding to Celestia, I finally nabbed my wallet back from Arissa, who was unabashedly angling her neck to peer at my phone.

“We were worried when it opened to the way it is, though it seemed designed to. While I have many questions, that’s something that can wait.” That was ominous, but damnit, it didn’t actually tell me whether she, or any of them, had seen the pony on my phone!

“The other object. What is it?”

My wallet? As nice as it was that Celestia cared, she couldn’t be here just for small talk. “Was not there something... more important?”

Celestia’s nodded once, ruffling her wings. “You’re right. But first I wanted you to see that I’m not here to harm you.” She paused. “What would you say if I were to ask you to tell us about what happened while Princess Etherea was on your world?”

That put my back right up, despite its sharp protest. What the hell was this about? What would I tell her? I… Well… My fingers picked up their pace, twitching and worrying at my phone. It was the only way I could think of to maintain some modicum of calm everywhere else. I mean, would she be okay with how I had treated Etherea? Had it been good enough? Etherea was a princess, after all!

Would she fault us for Etherea’s accommodations? Or the food we’d provided? Or… or the company we’d kept? Dare I hope that she would be so understanding when I’d taken none of the precautions that her ponies had for me? That key difference felt more and more like a major failing! I’d even taken Etherea, an alien in a strange world, into a shopping center, surrounding her with who knew how many other human sources of… of…

I didn’t even know, and that only made it worse!

And…! And...

And there was something off about the question. She hadn't actually asked it? She hadn't. She’d said what if.

“I think you have figured it out,” her melodious voice interrupted my disjointed musings. “Or at least that is what your appearance seems to say. You wouldn't want to answer the question, would you?”

Okay, that was creepy. Chessmaster Celestia, anyone? I nodded, somehow feeling even less in control.

“It’s alright, Alex. You do not need to answer the question.” Oh, good! “Please do not be too alarmed, but you are under the effect of geas spell. It’s not intrinsically harmful, but Princess Luna, in order to hinder your ability to assist others of your kind in pursuing her, laid the enchantment-”

I blinked, opening my mouth, again seeing hose teal slit-pupil eyes boring into my soul. But somehow I wasn’t raging inside; I should be angrier. Or maybe I was so angry at Luna's constant fuckery that I couldn’t even feel it anymore!

“Yes?” Celestia prompted.

All three ponies were staring! Right, my mouth was still open. “N-nothing. G-go o-on,” I sullenly replied.

Celestia inclined her head after a pause. “If the spell is working as intended, it will encourage you to not speak of the events in question, as defined by the parameters you agreed on. Unfortunately, without foreknowledge that I fear you could not possibly have, it would be nearly impossible to tell its effects from your own motives. Thinking back now, does it seem like you were unusually resistant to speaking of your time with Princess Etherea?”

No. Maybe. I hadn't wanted to tell anyone because I would’ve gotten sent down shit creek without a paddle! Even friends or family could have blurted the wrong thing. Some of that had to be real!

It was sobering to see Arissa’s coat standing on end, her ears flat as she stared at the Princess.

“I would like to remove the spell. It was done in haste - Princess Luna worried over it almost from the moment she returned - and you do not deserve to continue suffering under it.”

Almost everything inside of me leapt at the idea. This was strange, frightening, and mind-altering shit! I was very not okay with it! If it was in my head, affecting how I was fucking thinking - and the more I thought about my encounters with the FBI and Luna yesterday, the more it made sense - then it had to go!

But then there was that one insidious whisper that kept me from throwing myself at their hooves. What did they need to do to remove this thing? More mind-fuckery!?

“What- What do y-you need to do?”

“It is an emplaced spell at this point, so dismantling a few key connections will let its constituent Harmony dissipate back into the local ambience.” She lowered her head a bit. My eyes locked onto that horn. “The issue is that it is an uncommon spell, and a quite complex neshetriankeltriss. Few ponies have the experience to detach it properly.”

‘Uncommon?’ So… it’s down to you or Luna then.

“I believe what may be hard for you, is that I would like to be very close to it and you while removing it.”

She paused, giving that time to sink in. And it did. My throat didn’t want to voice the natural question, fearful of the answer. “How close?”

Her head remained angled down. “Enough for casual contact.”

Yup! There it was. Get myself into biting range of her! My eyes drifted over to Arissa, though I didn’t quite meet her gaze.

“You should, Alex.” She nudged my knee with her muzzle, her expression visibly strained. “I don’t like this spell. I don't like what it does, I don’t like that I don't know if it-” She blinked and glanced at the Princess. “If it was properly applied, and I don't like not knowing what else it might be doing to you. We’re taking great care with what you’re exposed to, but this…” She grimaced, shaking out her neck.

“The Princess? She will not harm you.”

“The doctor speaks true; I will be nothing but gentle with you, Alex.”

“But you need to… touch me,” I stated, deadpan.

“Possibly.”

Apparently everything I wanted required going through everything I didn’t! And there didn’t seem to be any outs. I scrunched my eyes, overwhelmed, and took a couple deep breaths. I couldn’t fully convince myself it would be okay, but Celestia… Her concern and care felt so earnest that I wanted to believe that things would be alright with her help.

To get to Etherea… “A-alright-t.” Calm, Alex. Be calm!

“Wait,” Arissa cut in sharply, tail lashing, but her voice was unsteady. “Just to be clear, Princess, you want me to stop even you if I feel Alex is in undue danger?”

“Correct.”

“Just so we’re clear.”

Celestia bowed her head. “Yes, doctor, I am entrusting you with his safety.”

Arissa’s stance was still stiff with tension that I sympathized with, but her hackles went down and she shuffled a little to her right - a subtle sign that the way to me was clear. Only then did Celestia rise and take a first cautious step.

I was okay. Every of the Princess’ motions was deliberate and measured, clearly intended to be plainly visible and nonthreatening. Light played across her in little ripples, revealing her coat to be not just white, but shimmery, as she gradually went from less than a stone’s throw away, to within spitting distance, then to where I could’ve reached out and petted her. Not that I would; this was Princess-

Celestia was right in front of me! It seemed so unreal even with her right there. She was just a cartoon character. So was Twilight Sparkle there, in the back!

Was… Was this really reality?

As she crossed that closest threshold she spoke gently, “I trust you, Alex, and I will not hurt you.”

And now I was staring. Well, at the base of her neck. This was really happening!

“She’s a friend,” affirmed Arissa from beside us.

When had I started leaning away? Probably around the time I'd started crushing wads of my blanket in my fists. I had to relax! It was hard, even with Arissa's promise and Celestia's reassurances. But it was enough to get me upright again. I could do this. I had to…

Now I could even see Celestia's smile. It was bright and crinkled her eyes pleasantly. She also seemed skinny, with a narrower face than Arissa’s.

“So, how do your people greet one another?”

I think my brain skipped a beat, puzzlement reigning supreme. What was she up to now? Also, there were so many options for answering that question! Too many! Bowing, cheek-kissing, the ever-popular flying chest bump…

They - the ponies - had absolutely no experience with human cultures. Zip. Zero. Zilch! I could tell them that lavish pancake breakfasts were customary, or contests of bare-chested couch-flipping, or hoofbumps, or… Hell, even if they didn’t believe me for a second, I could tell them that wild orgies were customary, and they’d at least have to seriously consider the possibility! Hah!

A braver man might have tried, but my stomach wasn’t even up for it. I needed simple. “D-depends on the… culture. A handshake is pretty normal.”

“How is that done?”

“Ummm…” Okay, confusion was clearly going to be the in-thing throughout this. I managed to get my right hand to release the blanket so I could look down at my palm. “You, well… It is between two… people. They each offer… a hand, then grab- hold… the other's… hand and shake it. A couple times. Up and down.” Ugh, an awful way to explain it!

Glancing down, she shifted to the side and brought up her left foreleg. “Would you show me?”

My brain, stuck in overdrive, couldn’t figure her angle in all this. Why was she so concerned about a handshake while… while this thing was fucking with my head? All I could do was look at the offered limb. Did I even dare grab her? My brain took the first chance to delay.

“W-wrong one. Right.” I couldn’t stop fumbling words! Why’d it have to be Celestia? “Normally the other one.”
So she just switched legs on me.

Damnit! This was only going to end one way. I was going to have to. My hand reluctantly relinquished its grip on my phone as I powered through a fresh cascade of nervousness. I brought it up to-

Wait. Her hoof. A non-grabby-type appendage.

“Then what do we do?”

“You grab,” my mouth said, of its own accord. No! Take it back!

She moved right then, before I could jerk away, hooking around my hand with her… Ankle? Wrist? I didn’t fucking know! But it effectively trapped me, putting my fingers in an awkward, off-center grip around the thin joint above her hoof. Her coat was smooth - ‘silken’ was beyond appropriate - and she was surprisingly warm. Or maybe that was just me: I was holding Princess Celestia’s… ankle!

She lifted and lowered my hand once. “Like that?”

I had to resort to autopilot because my mind was too busy flailing. “More like…” One tentative pump gave her the idea, and she responded in kind.

“It is nice to meet you, Alex.” She flashed another bright, genuine smile.

I might've mumbled something affirmative as I hurriedly released her. Let’s just get this over with. Please! “So… What d-do I… need to… do now?”

Her expression dimmed a hair. Shit…

“I would like to get on the couch with you.” I struggled to think of just what to say to that, but she just kept going. “This needs to be done correctly for your continued safety, and while I can work on the spell from here, it will take some time. Being on the couch will be more stable, and probably more comfortable for us both if we’re here for a while. It will probably also be easier for me to see what I’m doing.”

My eyes, in a natural bid to escape the uncomfortable situation, drifted across Arissa. She looked less certain than before, but was still very focused on me.

“You can still say no, Alex,” she said, nearly softer than the fuzz in my ears.

The thing was, I think I’d pretty much made up my mind. I'd let Celestia in. And allowed her closer. And shaken ‘hands.’ And I really wanted Luna out of my fucking head! Somewhat successful in suppressing an anxious shudder, I patted the unoccupied cushion to my left.

Both ponies closely followed the motion, but Arissa preempted the Princess’ question. “It’s a gesture of consent; an invitation. I’m surprised though, Princess, that your guards are letting you do this alone.”

That was a good question!

“Ah… They’re not particularly happy,” Celestia chuckled. “They relented only after I accepted so many protective spells that I’m surprised I can move.” Then she put one hoof on the couch.

Noting how little space there was beside me, I scooted a bit further down. It was just the right thing to do. It also kept us apart for at least a bit longer. My stomach assumed a familiar uncomfortable knot. Please, no.

“Thank you, Alex. If you were this considerate to Princess Etherea, I can see why she thinks so highly of you.”

Um… thanks?

Arissa’s gaze was highly critical. “I’m assuming none of these defenses are likely to trigger onto Alex, are they?”

The cushion depressed under Celestia's weight, her other forehoof coming up. “Oh, no,” she said. “I did not allow anything that might trigger onto another.” Leaning forward, she got fully up beside me one hind hoof at a time in what was a slightly ungainly clamber. With me here, there was only so much room to be graceful. “I’m more likely to be unceremoniously teleported halfway across Canderiloen.”

Now, with a large, white pony towering over me, the tension redoubled, setting my skin ablaze with lifted hairs. At the same time I fought a losing battle against smiling at the thought that if I poked Celestia, she might just poof away to parts unknown. Magic is some amazing shit.

I bounced slightly as Celestia dropped herself down, haunches then front, her long forelegs folding upward at the knees just to fit between us. This placed her face at about my level, though it didn’t help. Her magenta eyes were right there and yesterday’s memories just wouldn’t leave. Hunching over and scrunching my eyes let me focus on the torn feelings raging within. I needed space. But I needed her help, here and later. Damnit, damnit, damnit!

“Alex?” It was Arissa.

Sucking in a breath, I groaned out, “I will be fine. Just... nerves.” It was just hard to be calm!

“I am right here, if you need,” assured the doctor for the umpteenth time.

Maybe if I didn’t look at Celestia I could fool myself into being less frantic. It was her visage that was really doing it. Well, and the memory of her sister, the angry guards, the-

Not helping! With a burst of frustration I scooted a little further down the couch, drew my knees up, and rotated to face away from her. I could continue to not look at her and maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t freak out so much. Like some demented version of ignorance being bliss, or something.

It had to be worth a shot.

“Are you comfortable?” asked Celestia’s voice right behind me.

All I could do was nod once, staring across the armrest toward the open bedroom, feeling my nerves just waiting for one little thing to tip them back into overdrive though. God, this sucked!

Arissa chose that moment to turn around - I flinched! - concern clear in her face as she walked past me, around the end of the couch. Plopping her chin beside me on the backrest, she kept looking between me and what was right behind me, ears rigid.

“I’m beginning now.”

Arissa focused on something just behind my head. “Let me know if anything feels… wrong.”

I nodded hesitantly - didn’t want to disturb the Princess! - quiet descending over the lot of us. It left me with nothing to do but immerse myself in my shallow breathing, the harsh pattering of my heartbeat, and my thou-

“...etrora easu esvoar how Princess Etherea is doing?” The Princess’ friendly tone carried an amused edge, her breath hitting the back of my neck.

I seized up, my chest hitching at just how fucking close she was! But I’d put myself in this position! “Did not want… to disturb you,” I mumbled honestly.

She hummed, her answer a moment in coming. “Oh, I’m fine to chat. This isn’t difficult; just intricate.” And Luna just slapped it in my brain?! “...Etherea woke up, her first thoughts were of you. She was very lost and confused, but she immediately worried over your well-being. I wanted to let you know that.”

A little thrill coursed through me. Etherea was trying to reach me too! Okay, okay, I was cool. I was calm. That was good news.

“Arissa told me she was doing well.” Or had that been Twilight? “But… So… How is she?”

Celestia made an indistinct happy noise. “Hurting but rambunctious. Her leg and horn will be fine with a little time, and last I saw, she was resting comfortably. When she awoke, I had to assure her that you were well and being cared for before she would relax.” Wait… I was ‘well’? Telling lies, Princess? “More than anything else, that tells me that our Darling Princess will probably be terrorizing the halls again in no time. You two must have become good friends.”

I supposed so. And ‘terrorizing?’ Etherea? I wasn’t certain about asking, so I shelved that, my thoughts tentatively turned to Saturday’s birthday celebration, staying guarded against letting loose around Celestia. Which left me generally indecisive, and the silence once again grew wonderfully awkward.

“I’m sure you have many more questions than that.” Celestia’s tone was oddly subdued. “I’ll be more than happy to answer any I can.”

I blinked, and then blinked again. Was she really pushing carte blanche? Could I really pin her with the most relevant hole in their story?

“It’s alright. Go ahead.”

Fine! A hot flash roared through me at the memory of Sunday evening. My fists clenched on their own, shaking with the sudden need to hit something.

“Why did not you ask Etherea what happened?” I hissed through gritted teeth.

There was a moment of silence before soft words flowed past my neck. I could hear her downcast posture. “When she was brought back, she was yelling what we later learned was your name, and how Princess Luna was hurting you. She was trying so hard to escape us - her friends and family, no less - to return to you, her apparent captor.” Her pause was telling. “Our assumption had been that she was being held against her will, and her actions after being rescued seemed those of a pony suffering under mental compulsion. I’m sad to say that we chose to subdue her. Checking for and clearing that sort of magic is not a simple process, so she had to be held for some time, for her protection as much anypony else’s.”

Yes, but I was the one who had to suffer under Luna’s misbegotten fucking hooves! I managed to hold myself still nonetheless, knowledge of just who was behind me lending strength to the effort, relegating my fury to violent shaking.

“She was understandably upset afterward,” continued the pony at my neck, “and didn’t immediately say much, keeping to herself. We felt that giving her a moment of space was the right thing to do. If anypony could reach her - comfort her - it would be her friends or parents-”

I flinched, worriedly berating myself for my strong reaction.

Another low, rumbly sort of sound emanated from behind me. “It’s alright.”

Arissa’s reaction from the backrest was more direct and full on confidence. “You’re safe, Alex.”

Yeah. Sure. “Why did you not… come back and… fix things when you… figured it out?!”

The cushion shifted a bit under me. “Unfortunately, there were a number of reasons,” Celestia’s voice was low and morose. “What Princess Luna had found was strange beyond belief. It was not some remote location on our world, but some entirely new place with no trace of the Harmony we took for granted, and with creatures nopony had ever encountered. Only in the wildest fantasies had such a thing ever been conceived, but now it was reality. It took some time to piece enough of the picture together, because even though Princess Luna said she was certain you had attempted to attack her-”

What?! When had I done that?!

“...not some defended location…”

I remembered getting up before being slammed into the wall, but that was it!

“...a plain civilian residence...”

Shit! And I had missed what Celestia was saying! I forced my fists to unclench again, wrapping my arms around my knees to give them something else to do.

“...troubled her greatly. We spent much of that day consulting anypony whose expertise might give us guidance, and debating what we could possibly do.”

She sighed into my neck again, eliciting a nerve-jarring shiver. I rudely shoved down a fresh feeling of uncertainty.

“But while Princess Etherea met with some of her best friends the next morning, it was only a short while later that she went back for you. Her friends had no idea she was planning to, so the only warning we had was when a guard went to check on her and found you.”

Something felt off about that, but I couldn’t place what it was. I shifted, trying to uncoil my back a bit and relieve its persistent low-level complaining. How much longer would this take?!

Channelling my spite, I felt the need to grumble, “I did not attack her.”

“Princess Luna?” I vaguely felt Celestia rocking forward and back. Nodding? “We know that now. She said you immediately rose and… made aggressive motions toward her. Then her initial holding spell was rebuffed and she became very alarmed.”

And back to me suffering for it! The problem was, I couldn’t think of a good way to snipe back at the ponies who’d hurt me without just screaming aimlessly. “And this... spell in my mind?” I couldn’t unclench my teeth, eloquence failing me. “Wait. Mind spells were not… okay for Etherea, but were for... Luna?”

There was a moment of silence before Celestia answered. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

What?! What was so hard about that? I had so much I wanted - needed! - to say, but impotent rage kept letting the Equestrian words slip away. “You thought we… controlled Etherea. Not okay! You controlled me. Is okay!”

Arissa’s head jerked up from the couch, the shock on her face like a slap to me. Her eyes bounced between me and the Princess, mouth open like she was about to lay into one of us.

“Oh, no, no, no, no…” Celestia murmured against the back of my neck. “It was a serious mistake on our parts. I- we know that now, and very much regret its use on the two of you.” Craig! “Princess Luna’s intention was simply to delay. She wished to slow the spread of information until we could sort out and better understand the situation.”

“But… I…” Scrunching my eyes, I slowly worked my head back and forth. She’d already said that Luna had thought I was attacking her! Damnit! “I could have been... killed, unable to... say anything. Because I was-!”

“No, it-” She cut herself right off, eventually letting out a long, deliberate breath against my back. “It wouldn’t have come to that. We are not disharmonious, and would never use such a… blatantly detrimental spell on somepony. I know it is no consolation, but as designed, it would have failed had you felt in enough danger over remaining silent.”

Oh, that was sooo much better! “So I was... just not scared… enough yet?” I snidely spat. “But how? Would they have… had to stop and.... ask about Saturday while shooting Etherea?” Godamnit Celestia, I was so done with this ‘meeting!’ Aren't you finished? “And how... do you even know… it would? You are still… figuring out how magic… works on me!” I indicated Arissa, who had lifted her chin while watching me gesticulate.

“I have faith that it would have.”

Choking on my disbelief that that was her answer, I couldn’t do anything but blink aimlessly.

“The rest of the spell seems to have worked properly, and as far as we’ve seen, magic works as intended when your normal lack of a neshourraiennen is accounted for. I am confident it would have failed properly. I know that is small consolation, since you were the one stuck in your situation.” She paused again, apparently taking a deep breath. “A situation that I am extremely sorry for.”

What. The. FUCK! None of this gave me any satisfaction! There seemed to be a rational explanation for everything I’d been through! As far as they’d known, Etherea had been kidnapped. Then Luna had simply been defending herself and Equestria. And then Celestia had done the same! Of course the spell would have worked perfectly. And of course she was sorry about the situation. It was completely unfair; there apparently wasn’t any obvious fault for all my suffering!

God fucking damnit! I couldn’t lash out righteously without making myself feel like the bad guy, and that just made everything worse! The only thing I could attack was my blurring vision, wiping bare amounts of clarity back using the back of my wrist. At least tears were a clear and present annoyance that couldn’t defend itself. Small, pathetic victories, ey?

“...easu esvoar. The spell is gone, and your mind is entirely your own again.”

I jolted, doing a double-take as my brain wrapped itself around Celestia’s revelation. I mean, clearing me was the whole point of this, but I also didn't feel any different. Where was the lifted weight, the clarity of thought, the… anything?!

“...esvoar aienth etrior you mind sharing something from your time with Princess Etherea? It can be something small and simple.”

Even though I could think of many reasons not to, each justified around not pissing off the ponies, none were imperative. I was still a wreck, and that lent power to my desire to shut everything away until this all blew over, but thinking about the weekend didn’t come with a need to dissemble or dissuade. Which was kinda’ different. At least I was pretty sure it was.

Was that the power of Luna’s spell? Fuck me sideways…

But I was distracted; Celestia wanted something. With my thoughts turned to what was worth revealing, I couldn’t escape the one image that dominated, refusing to lie quiet and let happier memories take the fore. I could remember pancakes, watching movies together, exploring the town, and more, but the only thing in my mind’s eye was Etherea’s whole body jerking as the gun flashed.

I had to vent! I had to explain my side! They needed to understand it wasn’t my fault!

“She was not supposed... to come back.” My trembling voice was so pathetic.

“Princess Etherea?” Celestia asked quietly, her surprise clear.

But I also couldn’t stop, my eyes watering profusely. "I told her… not to. I tried to... spare her... all of this! But they tricked... her. Used my phone.” I dipped back into English, grabbing the little black slab and holding the blank screen before me. Now that I had it in my trembling grip, I wasn’t sure what I actually wanted to do with it.

"'They?'" Celestia took full advantage of the break in my thoughts.

Laboriously pulling myself back on track, I let my thoughts filter into soft words. "They... They are like, um, guards. Th-they were questioning... me about… what had happened. They told her I... That it was safe... and ‘I’ needed to talk… to her. They were not... expecting her. They did not..." I couldn't go on, impressions of a handgun going off echoing through my thoughts. Etherea had come so close to dying. Or if it had been pointed just a little to the side...

I wiped the blur from my eyes, finding Arissa looking uneasy, her head pulled back.

“I do not even know… what she was… trying to… do.”

“How much did you tell her?” Arissa chimed in, looking distant as she fished for words. “Could she have been trying to protect you from them?”

I shook my head. “N-no. I do not… They... showed up later. But then… then she appeared… right in front… of them.” Flash. Crack. Etherea screaming.

The cushions under me moved again, something drawing up behind me, sending skitters across the skin of my neck and back.

Arissa twitched stiffly, looking past me.

Soft words cut in near my right ear. “Oh, Alex… I’m so, so sorry for what you’ve been through. But it’s alright now.”

Great expanses of white closed in from both sides, putting every nerve on alert. My avenues of escape narrowed as they came around. What do I do? What do I do?!

“Lo’svor nasi. Lo’svor nasi.” Celestia kept repeating as her wings - wings! - met across my drawn up legs, enfolding me in warm sheaves of feathers. Something rounded and soft, yet hiding powerful muscles beneath, pressed into the top of my back. “...evefi saerden. Easu esvoar.”

Trembling, with every sense screaming confusion and alarm, I found only indecision. This was a hug, right? I couldn’t imagine it being anything else. Well, I could, but there wasn’t any pain. Please don’t let there be more pain! No, it had to be a hug from… the Princess of all Equestria?! That idea refused to make any sense in my head.

Arissa’s face was twisted with worry, but she was glaring over me, her mouth working furiously. Surely she would tell me if things weren’t alright! She’d help if they weren’t!

My entire body strained, arms ready to lash and legs itching to go, but fearful indecision kept me frozen on that spot. After all, if things weren’t dire, wasn’t a hug what I’d wanted? I mean, sure, Celestia wasn’t on the list of people I might accept comfort from, but I needed someone to be there in this fucked up reality that was my life. It should have been… I don’t know, Etherea. Did I dare ask for that?

I hunkered down tighter, not liking how I felt like I desperately needed this. Wasn’t I pathetic?

“Easu enu’n just do things like this, Princess!” Arissa had found her voice, stomping around to the front of the couch, eyes flicking back and forth between us. Words blitzed from her mouth at the princess, but the doctor didn’t advance further, even if her twitching ears showed that she clearly wanted to.

“Sae’svor entovai,” the Princess’ voice cut through Arissa’s tirade. “Shi enu’n-”

“Sae’svor kunaief, non-!”

Something small pressed against the top of my scalp, flexibly dragging down and away, gently pulling some of my hair along. The sensation was so alien - so bizarre - and yet somehow recognizable because it wasn’t hard to imagine what would create that sensation. Unadulterated shock was a weird sort of blessing; I was suddenly too busy to worry!

Arissa similarly choked up.

Then it happened again, and Celestia’s chest rumbled faintly against me.

I had the words ready to go before I’d considered just what they meant. “You… You licked me?”

“I did,” she said carefully, breath tickling the top of my head. I wasn’t willing to look up. “Injured, then… interrogated, put in deadly danger, stolen from your world, and assaulted by us scared and angry ponies; it’s more than any one pony should have to face. You are suffering so clearly - so strongly - that I could not stay idle.”

“Saesvor tahya ne uszoel world!” Arissa wasn’t shouting, but she looked like she was, wound up like a spring and ready to launch herself at the Princess. “We barely ustaearn ses equevkuan communication norms; you can’t just do things like this!” Her hoof swiped at the two of us.

Even so, Celestia wasn’t letting go, and her white chin dipped into view over me. “...niyem ustaern very little. However, I saw him with Princess Etherea yesterday. I didn’t realize aiv thoristienlen, haern sae esvoar enkurai her close and stroking her neck. Shi shezuar it was a true and honest display. You were trying to comfort her, were you not?”

That question had to be for me. My answering nod was jerky, and bumped my chin on my knee. At the same time, I sneakily - I hoped - brought a hand up beneath her wing, which lifted with the slightest pressure. So I wasn’t confined here. Good to know!

“I did not know… what else to do.”

“You still did well. Nopony could have done better.”

Laying it on a bit thick, aren’t we?

Her nose nuzzled into my hair. “Are you alright with me hugging you, Alex? Is this the right gesture? Doctor Derinetth is right; I need to know.”

How convenient that she asked after she’d already done what she wanted. Arissa, for her part, seemed particularly unimpressed, so I was in good company. No help there though. The absolute truth was that I had no idea how to feel. Nervous? Awkward? Scared that any little thing would set off the princess’ defenses? Like I wanted to hide on the other side of the room? Yes!

Both wings began slipping away from my knees and sides.

“Alright,” I blurted in a too-small voice. “It… is alright.” That one was better. I guess I wanted it more than I feared it.

“Are you sure?”

Don’t give me the option to back out now! I took a shaky breath. “No.”

The Princess did that chest-rumble again, giving me a light squeeze, drawing me closer against her breast. It... didn’t alarm me as much as I expected. She didn’t lick me again - thank God! - but I was subjected to a long, side-of-her-face-against-my-head nuzzle.

Yeah, she needed to know something about that.

Rubbing my fingertips together, feeling the expected oily coating, I swallowed to wet my tongue. “I have not… showered… in days.” And my hair would have the worst of it. “I am… not clean…” I let my words run out, retreating back within myself once the implication was clear.

She actually chuckled at that! “I’ve birthed and raised one hundred twenty six foals; I’m sure a little grime won’t harm me.”

What?! I couldn’t have heard that correctly, right? No. Maybe. She was how old? I found no courage to question her assertion, and so instead tried to turn my discomfort to other ends.

The words proved harder to fling at the princess now that I was wrapped in her clutches. “You threw me across… Canterlot.”

“Across what?”

Oh, right, I’d dipped back into English. I was just so used to the show’s names! “The, um, c-city. To the prison.”

She sighed tremulously against me, wings giving me another small squeeze, voice strained with emotion. “That is true; I did teleport you across Canderiloen. I am very sorry for that and dearly hope I can make things right between us.”

Words evaded me again. She sounded absolutely sincere and I wanted to believe her. I also wanted to kick something in the face.

Not her, no. Not Princess Celestia.

I shivered again, terrible indecision dominating, which earned yet another squeeze and nuzzle.

I couldn’t help but note: she was a good hugger.

“Is there anything more I can do here and now to make this more comfortable for you?”

My first impulse? “Pancakes.” In my head I facepalmed. And before I remembered my languages too. “Neya tiel… Zulaeletuas?”

“Interesting... Not something I can do quite this moment, but… Hmmmm. Doctor?”

Arissa, who had cocked her head, stiffened with narrowed eyes, carefully stilling her expression. “I…” She looked off to the side. “That’s likely possible. I did promise you lunch when we got here.”

“Good,” came from above me. “Any particular reason for pancakes?”

Now that they were likely, desire for their simple deliciousness left me sheepish. “They, um… first thing on my mind. Also, first thing when Etherea… wh-when…”

No, don’t think about what happened later! My stomach considered an unfortunately familiar knot. Think about…! About… I pushed the first day’s memories forward, consequences be damned.

“She w-was not happy… when she… woke up. Scared, hurting too. We did not mean… all this. I made pancakes to… say sorry. Simple. Good.” Which made me remember how well that had worked out. I laughed just a little as something trickled down my cheek. “She did not… want to do any magic. H-had to strap… knife and fork to her… hoof. Rubber bands. She… she looked so, um, so… put out. It worked. Mostly.” I fidgeted my fingers in lieu of physically demonstrating.

Closing my eyes, I let the memory play. Her consternation at the ludicrousness. Yes, that was good! And hell, like this, I could imagine that the winged horse wrapped around me was actually just a normal, everyday person giving me the hug I so desperately needed. Almost. The feathers were weird.

Don’t think about it. Just-

How about something else?

I sent my mind’s eye searching. It came back to me with Etherea running across the dark ground, chasing and dancing with the fireflies. The way she’d booped them with her nose. It was such a happy memory, clashing so violently with my mood, and fresh tears welled up. Why couldn’t I be back there now?

And that was it. The floodgates opened and words poured forth. Or, well, it was more like dribbling and spurting, because I had to consider each and every one. But once started, I found it was hard to stop. I wanted to tell someone what had happened.

With a little light encouragement from Celestia, they all got to hear about hiding Etherea, sneaking her out twice, why ponies flying on Earth wasn’t a good idea if you were trying to hide, movie watching, meeting the horses, and Etherea’s polymorphing skills. It was all disjointed, skipping between topics as my racing mind latched onto things, but it seemed like they understand the general order of things. It all felt like so much had happened; like it had been such a long time in the making. Wrapping it up what couldn’t have been more than a few long minutes was surreal.

And letting it all out naturally brought with it the primary things lurking in mind: Luna’s attack and how it’d destroyed so much, putting me in the hospital in the process. I… I tried so hard to keep my anger out of the retelling - I couldn’t risk lashing out at the ponies trying to help! - and I did a good job. Mostly. Fear could only do so much while I seethed.

Happy. Enraged. Nostalgic. Terrified. It all mixed poorly. I was a man; we don’t cry. I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t...

Celestia was there the whole time, looming above but with a cottony-light presence. Sue me; my mind wasn’t up for proper similes. Soft touches, little squeezes, and those pleasant little purr-like things kept me from losing it one way or the other. I was deprecatingly proud that I could hold back crying, though I kept having to wipe my eyes so I wouldn’t have to clean my cheeks.

Why? Why me?

At some point Arissa brought over a small towel from somewhere. Yeah, thanks.

Then, while trying to recall which exact pictures Etherea had shared, a giant yawn cracked my jaw. My body had been inching closer to leaden, which had so far been overshadowed by my situation, company, and the persistent roughness in my back. Now though, the scales had flipped, and once one yawn escaped, another quickly followed. I really hadn’t gotten real sleep in… Well…

“...uller is my cue to let you rest.”

Wait, just like that? Scrambling for the right thing to say netted me amazingly little. “But… you have questions too?” No! I take that back! I’m… not ready for that!

“A great many, but I didn’t come here to interrogate you. I came to help and set you at ease.”

I breathed a sigh of relief - questions delayed! - and received another faint squeeze, her wing-wrists rubbing at my knees.

“There has been so much disharmony between us that I knew this wouldn’t be easy for you. Thank you for letting me in.”

“You are, um, welcome.” What else could I say?

“I’ll leave you to Doctor Derinetth’s capable care - something I believe she has desired practically since I entered.” Didn't she sound cheeky?

Arissa’s relatively neutral expression grew guarded, but she nodded.

The feel of Celestia’s presence slipped away, her wings drawing back and out of sight, which seemed to ease the very air around me. I guess I hadn’t been as okay with her proximity as I’d convinced myself. She’d really gone all out for this though, and that was something I really did appreciate. And probably would more so if I wasn’t so-

Yawning again, I admitted she had a point; I wasn’t in the best frame of mind.

“...reneshour, and I thank you for coming by to help him with… that spell, Princess.” Arissa sure sounded more upbeat now.

“I couldn’t not, in good conscience.”

Celestia’s weight left the couch. Angling my head to see over my shoulder, unwilling to truly move yet, I watched her slip away from me more gracefully than she’d come. To the middle of the floor she went, carving a lazy arc before turning to face me again. Putting her head forward placed her just within reach, magenta irises standing in vibrant contrast to her brilliant white equine-ish alien features. No, I couldn’t look her in the eyes.

The whole self-moving iridescent mane thing was also really distracting.

“Are you feeling any better now?”

Was I? Maybe. “Not really.”

Her head bobbed slowly. “I understand, and hope you do. Would it be possible to see you again tomorrow?”

Tomorrow? I hadn’t even thought about that! What was going on tomorrow? I had no fucking idea! But there was one thing I knew: if I saw her again, she'd finally get to ask all those questions I was dreading!

But… she was alright. “Okay…”

“I look forward to it.”

“Yeah. Ummmm… Have a good one.” And my brain fails me in the end! What even was that?

But she just smiled, chuckling. “I hope the rest of your day is wonderful as well.”

I had so much I wanted to say - so much I should have said! Something better; something intelligent! But, well…

Just like that she’d turned and stepped past the violet pony sprawled in the hallway. “Come along, Lady Naois.”

Oh, right! Twilight was there! She appeared to have redecorated the floor with a whole thesis-worth of paper while no one was paying attention, her… writing utensil working quickly over one particular page.

“What? But I-”

Celestia’s voice sounded from around the corner.

“But-!”

“I must also insist,” Arissa stated, her voice level. “Alex needs some space. I’ll let you know everything that happens. Later.”

I could only imagine Twilight grumbling the whole way as she got up to go, the papers flittering around her into a neat stack. She paused for one last look, but Arissa began walking forward, almost literally disappearing around the corner on the other mare’s tail.

Boy was she serious. Well, not that I didn’t appreciate it. I don’t know what I’d do if they came back, but I was in no mood for more ponies right about now.

As the moments ticked by, and the vague impressions of distant conversation between the doctor and princess dragged on, I let the reality of the past little while tumble back and forth in my head. There was so much to think about and so much to react to, but the major takeaway - and what really stuck in my head - was that I’d just survived meeting Princess Fucking Celestia. Did I need to pinch myself or something? I mean, I’d been there the whole time, and she was still just out by the door, but I couldn’t help doubting the reality of it all.

Man, I had to be messed up.

My back certainly was. A constant little jabbing sensation told me I’d been curled up for too long, but unfolding… Fuck! Where was that other doctor? Forget the pancakes, I wanted painkillers first.

Thankfully Arissa didn’t make me wait long. And by the time she returned I’d even managed to sit fully upright, turning so my feet were on the carpet.

“...uller was Princess Celestia,” she stated, pausing in the hallway to look me over.

I couldn’t help it. “She seemed nice.”

That got me a snort. “She is. She wouldn’t be Princess if she wasn’t.” Arissa crossed the carpet, her ears perked and eyes alert like she was taking in every detail. She probably was. “I should have known better though. You weren’t really ready for that yet, so I’m sorry.”

I felt like I should say it was no big deal, but my hands were trembling a little. And I’d nearly cried my eyes out. And… Well, let’s just agree to agree. So I nodded.

“But how are you doing, Alex? Be honest.” She stopped right in front of me, just after I began to lean away.

Stop that. She’s a pony, yes, but also a friend!

“Where is the, um… pain doctor?”

“Doctor Isshenaen? You’re in pain again? Why didn’t you say anything!”

What, should I have thrown off the princess the moment I felt a little discomfort? “Was not bad,” I replied a little sullenly.

She dropped her chin, giving a stinging glare. “Well, thankfully he should be right outside. I’ll be right back. Again. Then we’ll give you a thorough going over. And in the meantime you can tell us how and with what ingredients your people’s pancakes are made. Sound good?”

Pancakes were imminent? Well, it was a small, silly thing, but it did make me feel a bit better. Hopefully that would be just the beginning.

Author's Notes:

And there we are! Finally!

Once again, a huge thanks to my wonderful editors: M1ntf4n and Seven Fates! They've been so patient in putting up with me, but my story has become so much more neat and tidy for their efforts.

The Glossary and Equestrian Language list should be fully up to date, and include all the things I stuck in this chapter. It's about damned time I got Arissa in there properly.

---

So, how about some things?

Well, the most important one ended up at the beginning of Part 1, and that was the reminder of the reactions to extreme emotion. Being overwhelmed sucks so much. And yet, looking back, it was also such an interesting experience, because even though I couldn't stop myself, I could still spare time and effort to analyzing being overwhelmed. And with that insight, I believe I can make truer representations of extreme emotion.

There's also the point where I stumbled over how Equestria would reference Luna's fall. "Luna's Fall" just felt so... insensitive, and I figured they'd put a more distinct label on it. So I crowdsourced for ideas.

Nalu, an artist who's great friends with my own friends, Anzel and Crystal Wishes, suggested the term "astasia." It took me a moment, but I fell in love with it despite it being not exactly relevant. But that's the fun of a living language; it doesn't have to be. It just has to be relevant enough for speakers to make the association. So we have "The Lunar Astasia" as the official term for Luna's fall.

Though I'd be remiss if I didn't give an honorable mention to Snu - another friend from the same group - for his suggestion: The Cattywampusing. I knew it was a word, but not that it had actual meaning like that! But I'd never be able to include it with a straight face, so oh well.

---

Which leaves the one cohesive deleted scene. Man, the middle portion where Alex is traveling from the prison to his new rooms has changed soooooo much!

Chapter 12 part 2 - Alex's first trip down the Canterlot prison supply tunnel-

A shape came up from behind on my near right. It was the navy and cream unicorn, head high and looking me right in the eyes, who must have broken from the herd to-
“Alex? …(you) mind if …some questions?” Her voice was a soft, almost airy, yet surprisingly low-pitched. “We'd like …(specifics) about your …Harmony so far.”
I hadn’t caught half of that! In my confusion, I bumped Arissa hard enough to push her half a step sideways, suddenly overwhelmed by how little space there was in the hallway! Five of us might have been able to walk abreast, but that wasn't enough! I needed more! I'd go through Arissa if I-
What the hell was going on?
Arissa's violent hssssst! made me leap almost clear of my shoes, losing touch with her as my hands latched onto the towel. At the same time, the deep blue mare danced several feet sideways, recoiling like she’d been slapped.
“…(him) some space,” Arissa fired over at the other mare. “See him skittish? He's…!”
The rest was lost to me as Arissa gave up her measured words. Likewise was the mare's reply, but her tone was apologetic. I was too busy with the war between cold sweat and flash-hot skin as I tried to breathe evenly and get myself back under control.
What the hell had all that been? God, I didn't like it one bit. Panic? Fuck that!
Even so, calm remained elusive. I still managed to purposely and carefully put my hand back on Arissa.
“...(we'll) be more careful until you're more comfortable, Alex,” the contrite mare was saying somewhere behind me.
“Yes, they will,” affirmed Arissa. “Everypony will.”
Looking down at the mare I was touching, a small flash on anger zipped through me. “And you?” I snapped before thinking.
She blinked and flinched. Folding her ears momentarily, she chuckled ruefully, “Ahhh… Yes, I’ll try to remember not to startle you so when I get defensive.” I received another bump. “I told you I had spent some time among gryphons.
“I know we're all sorry-“ I caught faint murmurs all around me in response, “-and we'll be more conscious of how stressing all this is. Right?” She swung her head around at everyone else. Much nodding ensued.

“Now, if you need a moment, just go ahead and relax. We can wait.”

As much as I appreciated the consideration, standing here with all of them waiting on me just added self-consciousness to the mix of emotions that was slow to settle. “No, that is okay. I would rather… get there.” The promised land, where I wasn’t here, wasn't as worried about my coverings, and could shut the door on anypony I did

I changed my mind, not seeing the point of having such an interaction just to make Alex jump. The ponies have had a whole day now to understand his status, and to hear Arissa's thoughts on it; they're not going to make these kinds of stupid mistakes. *cough*Celestia*cough*

But anyway! Hope you enjoyed! This chapter should have cleared up quite a few things, hence "Square One."