Etherea wanted to go outside? As in into the wide open, human world, outside?

I sat up, leaning forward over the edge of the couch. She had one hand on the wall next to the window frame. Her eyes were bright and her lips seemed barely able to contain an excited grin.

"I know you said that you would... not stop me but that was also in a very different context."

"I, uhhhhh..."

Okay, other than she being a pony in a human body, and having both unnaturally violet eyes and vibrant two-toned blue hair, were there any problems with that? Well, she wasn't very stable on her feet, for one. She was ignorant of human social customs, was wearing my clothes, still lacked things like shoes, and just generally did not know the area. I didn't feel at all comfortable letting her go off alone.

But she also wasn't a prisoner.

"I guess... I don't really want you doing this by yourself though, okay?"

Her mouth pursed lopsidedly. "I was simply going... to step out onto the walk and look around..." She gasped, her eyes widening as they jumped from the blinds to me. "We could visit all of the places we saw last night!"

Craig snickered but one firm glance smoothed away his expression.

I nodded my appreciation while trying to reroute my thoughts to Etherea's new topic. Would there be any problems with another tour of the town? With her as a human I couldn't imagine any. It's just that her looks, attire, and motile ability were a little unusual. Though I would be there just in case.

Another very valid question popped into my head. "I gotta' ask: how much of your, um, Harmony are you burning right now by staying human?"

That made her blink. "Burn...? Oh! None. Like the translation spell, once cast it... simply requires my concentration."

Well, that was good news. Though... "Concentration? It seems like it would be a lot more complex than the translation one. You're not going to lose it and pop out as a pony if you get surprised by something, are you?"

"No." She paused, her eyes holding steady even as she started fiddling with her fingers. "Ummm... It is rather more like breathing. I do not stop... breathing simply because I am not thinking about breathing."

"You also don't stop breathing when you go to sleep though." Was I picking at this too much? Not if it prevented her from going pony in the middle of a crowd.

She huffed. "It is just an analogy."

"Right, right. I just want to be sure, y'know?" I idly scratched my neck as I considered. "Is there any chance of you accidentally actively releasing it?"

That got a longer, more telling pause.

"It is possible." I didn't miss her wistful glance toward the window. "But I have been casting... spells for most of my life and am trained in spell composure by some of the... best unicorns in Equestria. It has been a very long time since I accidentally let... a sustained spell fail."

"Gotcha'." Just one last catch-all and I could call my worries thoroughly quashed. "Are there any other problems that might, might, come up from it?"

She shook her head, her tone brightening, "Not now that it is cast, although maintaining it will eventually lead to mental fatigue. Even if a spell like this was not inherently temporary, there is still a limit... to how long a pony can maintain it."

That was less than reassuring. What if...?

"But do not worry, I can easily... hold a transformation for an entire day. Longer if absolutely necessary."

Alright then. Questions about Equestrian day length aside - that would be alarmist of me - this sounded like it would work.

"So, wait." Craig sat upright, turning an intensely questioning look on Etherea. "Wait. You're saying you've turned into a human before?"

"No. Other beings, yes, but this is my first time as a human." Her explanation had been patient but her attention never wavered from the outside world.

Now I was really paying attention.

"What kinds of other things?" Apparently Craig was just as interested.

Etherea took one look at the two of us waiting eagerly and rolled her eyes. "I have a template for each race of pony, a couple alternates of myself, one of a kittekkeer changeling, and a shen rak gryphoness." She blinked. "Those sound really... weird coming from this mouth."

Craig voiced my exact thoughts. "A what now?"

What was a... 'kittykeer' changeling and how was it different from a regular changeling? Or was it? I had no idea!

"Which one?"

"Uhh, that change-thingy and the griff-thingy."

I snorted out a chuckle. "I know there's at least one sports team somewhere out there somewhere with a gryphon logo. You can't not know what that is." His face stayed blank. "Seriously? Not one team with a gryphon mascot?" Still nothing. I was just dumb enough to try again. "They're half eagle in the front and half lion in the back..."

"Really? Cool! And yeah, there's a hockey team with that."

I dropped my head, exasperatedly rubbing my forehead with a hand.

Craig took that moment to jump back in. "So you have gryphons in ponyland?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing!"

The words registered, returned an irrational result, and were sent back for further processing. I looked up as I tried to figure out what the hell Etherea meant.

Apparently she'd already caught on, her eyes wide with red all over her cheeks. "I, uhhhh... I mean that I meant to ask how humans know about gryphons."

Which I took as my cue. "Well, like unicorns and pegasi, they've been legends for centuries." Certain Babylonian statues came to mind. "Actually, gryphons and dragons have been legends for thousands of years. I don't think anyone has any idea where any of them actually came from."

"I... Dragons too? Ouuuwaaaa..." she trailed off, staring off into space. I think I broke her.

Naturally, Craig was oblivious. Or just didn't care. "So princess, you can turn yourself into one of these lion birds?"

"I could..."

Craig eagerly opened his mouth, a smile at the ready.

"...but that would be incredibly unwise. I have already done more... magic in my panic than I should have."

That stopped my roommate cold but he settled back into the couch, nodding sagely. "Oh yeah, right. Good point, man. 'Cause if we spend all day making you play dress-up then you can't get back home. Wouldn't want that." He took a faintly unsteady breath. "Still woulda' been cool to see."

I chuckled as his mind went back to the truly important topics. And he was totally right too.

"I do not have any images of gryphons, but I can... show you some of my friend Namerril if you wish," Etherea offered helpfully, tilting her head with a pleasant smile. "She is a changeling."

"A what, now?"

I grinned knowingly. "You shoulda' been there the other day when we were looking at her family photos. A changeling is like, um, like..." A surge of self-preservation instinct stopped me from going further. Calling changelings 'bug horses,' or any variation of that, was likely a very bad idea.

Actually, I wasn't sure any of my description was a good idea. But I wasn't coming up with anything else that Craig might actually understand.

"Well, um, it would be hard to explain so why don't we just show you? We can get Etherea's, um..." I looked to her for help.

"Seratyen."

"Her seratyen," her brow scrunched. Guess I hadn't quite gotten it, "and she can show you those pictures. Since I've seen them before, I can take a quick shower." I turned to Etherea. "Afterwards we'll see what we can do about getting you out and about. Kay?"

She hopped a short ways into the air, an almost alarmingly wide smile flashing into place. Unfortunately her happy little trip ended when her legs wobbled on the landing and she crumpled backwards, thumping heavily onto her rear with a gasp.

Everything seemed to freeze for a second.

"Woah, you alright, princess?" came from Craig.

"I - ow - am fine. And would you please just use my name?" The glare she fired at Craig was somewhat weakened by her new rosy complexion. "That did not go at all... like I thought it would. Being excited is a lot easier on four good hooves."

She preemptively waved us both off, so we had to wait while she shifted around onto hands and knees to get her feet back under her. Talk about awkward. It was inelegant and strained her balance, but with the help of the wall she managed to get upright again. She ducked her head - seemingly an attempt to cover the additional red creeping onto her face - before lifting her chin and grinning at us.

"See? I am perfectly capable." She brought her excited smile to me, which did something airy to my heart. "And to answer your question, I would like that very much." Faux regality suffused her voice.

"Uh, well, excited are we?"

She nodded, violet eyes glinting with the strength of her answer, and took right off - slowly and with only a little wobble. I followed from a small distance because I didn't really have confidence, or any real desire, to stop her. But most importantly, if we were actually going to go anywhere with her as a human, then she would need all the practice she could get.

I was actually more worried, and a bit excited - worrycited? - about any potential interaction between her and other humans.

She moved off to the side as we entered my room, her eyes meeting mine as she grinned and tossed her head gently to send some errant hair back over her shoulder. I was about to comment on how confidently she was standing when her eyes flicked to something across the room, her halo popped up, and something flashed toward us.

Yeah, I flinched. It's a good, natural reaction to unexpected flying objects in close proximity.

Etherea giggled soft and sheepishly, "Sorry. I keep forgetting you are not used to unicorn magic."

I nodded to the device - a seratyen? - and stylus now floating slightly less than an arm's length from her. "Actually, it's more about something whizzing at my head. Also, isn't that cheating?"

"Cheating? What do you...? Oh!"

Her things went back across the room to land gently on the bed. I would have thought she might use a hand motion to guide the effort - that's what every good wizard did - but no, she paid her levitation almost no mind. "Good point, Alex. If I am to practice, then I should practice!"

Her smile set as she squared herself up. Back straight, head held easily, eyes forward, and hands completely unsure what they should be doing as they clasped each other. It was far too entertaining to see the effort she put into it. Not that I showed it for her sake. Then she carefully strode across the room, turning at the side of the bed to bend over laboriously, legs spread for balance. It put her butt out, defining it better for someone who happened to be in a position to admire what little my jeans showed…

Ew. It was probably a stupid hang up, but still. My jeans.

Her efforts with her tablet-thing were even more laborious - sliding the slim device over to the edge with a palm once she'd determined that she wasn't up for working her fingers under to grasp it. She slipped it off the bed onto one palm, then put the other palm to the other side of it. With painstaking effort her hands maneuvered around until she could fold the device into the crook of her elbow, freeing up one appendage. Her stylus ended up clenched in a fist.

When she turned her smile was triumphant and I received an overly-regal nod. Someone was having fun.

"There you go. Takes humans years to learn that." I slipped off to the side to retrieve the rest of a fresh change of clothes - my current shirt would be fine.

"I'm just a natural."

I laughed and went on my way, dipping into the bathroom ahead of her return trip. She had showed surprising capability given so little time in that body. I couldn't imagine taking anything less than months to get any semblance of decent control of an alien body. The only thing I could figure was that maybe transforming into a fully grown member of a species somehow eased the process.

As I stared into the mirror, taking a moment for myself in a now very familiar way, I couldn't help my mind turning back to the events of the day so far. A low level tension - like some distant vibration - suffused me, though the feeling came and went as I paid more and less attention. I guess it wasn't surprising that I was still on alert. Which made a good, hot shower just what I needed.

I certainly felt better - more relaxed - when I reentered the living area. Sort of. There was a sort of background expectation that something else would be a problem when I got back. It was strangely disappointing, and yet relieving, that all I found was Etherea standing before the window - the blinds now up - and Craig flopped across the couch with one arm across his face. Her device was left forgotten on the end table next to a half glass of water.

She had already turned and was grinning at me like a loon.

Her expression faded slightly when she saw me. "Ah, ummm, would you like me to help you with your mane? It will probably be faster."

Say what now?

Even if the offer was tempting - I'd always liked having my hair played with - Craig was right there. "Nah. It won't take long." I headed over to one of the stools in the kitchen. "You're really excited about this."

I guess, like every other girl who'd ever seen how I cared for my hair, she couldn't stand seeing me using a comb because she frowned critically as I started working it through the strands. Heaven forbid... An eye roll and an exasperated head shake spared her having to actually say her feelings. I just shrugged, at a loss as to the best - the kindest - way to voice my lack of desire for a brush; I'd never done wrong with a comb.

It left me some quality time in my little corner as Etherea went back to staring raptly out the window, her head doing its best to keep up with eyes that couldn't stay still.

"So, Craig, you're sure you don't want to come along?" I wasn't even really joking - I'd kind of hoped he would. I knew my way around town but he was better versed in what was where - especially the more social locations.

"Nnnnnnnnn..." He groaned. "Nah. You two go have fun. Was up all night anyway so I'll just pass out here."

"Want me to get the TV?"

"I got it." He gently kicked around until he found the remote with his heel, dragging it close enough to reach.

Etherea looked torn, evident concern kept her there watching him. That same look came around toward me after a moment. I waved her off before motioning to the door. Craig would be fine - this wasn't even a particularly bad one for him.

"You are a good friend," she whispered as she followed me to the door.

"I'm all heart," I quipped.

I liked hearing her answering giggle. What I was less than thrilled with was our shoe options. I only had two pairs: some good general-purpose grey and white sneakers for casual wear and a set of well-crinkled, paint-speckled black shoes for work. It didn't take much thought to realize I really didn't have a choice; I was going to look so weird wearing black shoes with blue jeans.

Placing the sneakers near Etherea's bare toes prompted a quick detour to acquire socks. Which, like everything else I had, were just a bit too big for her. Not that the size concerned her all that much. She was more concerned with being able to don her own clothes without magic or my help. All I could do was wait and try to be patient while she sat on the floor and struggled to simply grasp the fabric.

Her tying her own shoes though... Yeah, it wasn't just wasn't going to happen, which meant that I had to get down, right at her side, and lean over her knees so I could reach - it's stupidly hard to properly tie shoelaces from the other direction. Deep down, I wanted to get close to her but that feeling just made it even more awkward.

Not that she seemed to notice. She had fingers tying knots to distract her.

After some short goodbyes, and a half-hearted wave from Craig, we were on our way. Though as soon as she got out from under the building's overhang Etherea stopped and turned her face to the sky. Above us was crystal blue sky, dotted sparsely with little bits of white fluff, and just off center was the eye-searingly brilliant bringer of daylight. For some reason she chose to look right at it, leaving her blinking furiously and shaking her head.

Her second attempt - the one where she used her hand as a visor - worked much better.

Then, shortly thereafter, I lost her. Oh, she was still beside me as we ambled slowly out to my car, and initially she might have been able to pay attention to me, but first she had to spend some time testing how my shoes clomped along. Apparently the rather large and cumbersome footwear reminded her of trying to walk on a hoof that had fallen asleep.

And, of course, our surroundings soon sucked her in. I was okay with this, even if her obvious distraction was headshake-worthy. She was having fun.

At least until she noticed the group of half a dozen or so people gathered around the steps of a nearby building. They were just hanging around chatting - someone's baby's momma' was apparently a prominent figure in the world today - and they could hardly miss the bright-haired, attractive young woman energetically waving an arm at them. It went about as well as I would have expected and I couldn't help mentally kicking myself as the group’s nudges and smiles resolved into some full-fledged jeering laughter.

In a word, it sucked. Especially because of how it upset Etherea, and how we then couldn't escape having something of an audience while I gave her a crash course in getting into a car as a human - fortunately without any actual crashing.

I'm sure those people would have loved that…

She took to poking into all the nooks and crannies on her side of the car once she was sitting relatively comfortably in the front passenger seat. When the glove box dropped open on her knees she tried to leap back out of the car - the door proved solid enough to stop her - but in the end it was like she’d found a little treasure trove.

And I say 'relatively comfortable' because even as nice as the seats were, and though she finally fit them correctly, I could only describe her as 'uncomfortably tense.' Whatever problem she had with my jeans wasn't leaving her alone. It was something that I tried to avoid thinking too much about.

The seat belt also seemed to be a whole new experience, and not one she was certain she enjoyed.

Scaring her half to death by braking for a car ahead of us shortly after exiting the complex' parking lot certainly didn't help. It's not like it was even that hard of a stop! I'd just forgotten a few things. Like how she had next to no experience with regular traffic. Or with regular driving. Or that I'd been particularly cautious during our last outing.

I had to again resolve to drive like someone's grandmother, no matter how much it annoyed the crap out of me. It worked out much better that way and we pulled into the suburban neighborhoods we had passed through last night, giving her the chance to take to sightseeing like a good tourist.

The steady procession of houses to either side let her relax as we meandered. One family and single story homes with cozy stretches of yard between each was so... average. But it didn't matter in the least. Etherea's head was on a swivel as we passed an elderly man mowing grass out by the sidewalk, a couple leisurely walking hand-in-hand, a delivery driver engrossed in his clipboard as he headed back to his truck, and more from just, well, everyday human life. She even got an up-close look at some kids and a chance to wave without the ridicule when we disturbed their street football game.

Her pure, beaming smile afterward was simply wonderful.

Unfortunately her other problem didn't let up just because she had a better seat, and her steady stream of little shifts and wriggles kept making me cringe inside. One particular bump - I didn't even hit it that hard! - came complete with a stifled gasp. The way she gripped her thighs for a moment afterward resolved the situation for me. I was going to have to do something whether I liked it or not.

She broke the heavily embarrassed hush that lingered. "Alex? Where are we going now?"

I'd switched to a more direct route through the development, but took a moment to consider just how to tell her. Because there were only two options as I saw it: doing this or giving up.

"Target." Simple was definitely better. "We're going to get you some clothes, even if it's just for today, 'cause jeans weren't meant to be worn... like that. And if you're... you're..." I had no idea how to finish that thought diplomatically.

"But that will cost you more money, will it not." It wasn't a question.

"I think it's either that or we go back home because you're clearly, um, suffering..." Our blushes were definitely a matched pair. "If nothing else, some underwear would probably make you a whole lot more comfortable. That's kind of a private thing so I don't think you want to be wearing mine," I would certainly feel weird, "or Craig's..."

A disgusted grimace overtook her blush as she shook her head. "Ew. No."

She paid barely any attention as we passed from rather mundane modern houses into an area lined with elaborate, multi-story Victorians. It wasn't hard to gauge her comfort level with the proximity of all the new traffic ahead of us on this busier central street. Good thing she wasn't paying attention to any of the rear-views.

"Still, it would be still... another thing done for me at your expense," she piped up suddenly. "You have already given so much, Alex. It does not feel right when I will get so... little use out of the clothes."

My eyebrow rose as I considered her sidelong. This was the pony who'd blown how much energy transforming? Now she lamented splurging? I wasn't sure whether to laugh or gape.

Still, there was some good in there. "So you don't plan on transforming again?"

I received a rather pointed level look. "As much as I might like to, no. I have already used more Harmony today... than was wise. More than I had... hoped for the next few days, in fact."

Well, that was good. Reasonable. "That means we have to make the most of it." My mind immediately backpedalled but the words were already out. Dirty, dirty Alex! "What I mean is that if we're going to get you a tour then now's the time. I can afford a couple basic pieces of clothing."

Her frown held steady as we maneuvered onto the main thoroughfare. "It does not feel right."

It wasn't a straight refusal, which I took to mean we were doing this. But just because she was cooperating didn't mean she was any happier. I couldn't think of anything to say that I thought might improve her mood though. Another option reared its head and after a moment of agonizing I quashed my worries - reminding myself of some of the things she'd said over the past few days - and lifted my free hand toward her.

She jerked as I gently patted her shoulder, turning from the window beside her, but her wan smile still showed enough genuine happiness to tell me I'd done the right thing.

"Thanks, Alex."

I shrugged it off as I cut across through traffic from the turn lane, trying not to show just how ridiculously happy that made me.

The turn up a short, curving ramp revealed an expanse of blacktop and cars bordered by a pair of long, squat buildings, the larger ahead of us was my favorite supermarket. Our destination was the one on our left though.

Etherea initially jolted forward, eyes bouncing between the ocean of new wonders. She gradually eased backward into her seat as we drew into the thickening mess of cars and closer to the steady trickle of people coming and going. With stiff features and darting eyes it seemed that she was once again not so sure about this.

Our eyes met as I pulled into the first spot that was 'close enough' - because fuck shopping for parking spaces - her earlier tension conflicting with something else. As the car came to rest I looked over, twisting the key to off.

The corners of her mouth twitched upward. Excitement. That made me a lot more confident.

"So... ready?"

She nodded, "Mmhmmm."

It was impressive how she leapt to extricate herself from my car on her own. The door handle proved to be no match for her, though she used the door to pull herself up from sitting to standing. As soon as she was stable she looked over the car at me, carefully copying me after I demonstrated gently pushing my door shut.

She took a deep breath, dropping her chin furtively while taking a long look around, before joining me at the rear of the car with all the poise and grace she could muster. It wasn't a bad effort, but it was a bit odd seeing her trying to stride proudly. In a Target parking lot. Wearing slightly oversized and mismatched clothing. And largely lacking her usual grace.

I grinned but her attention had again been stolen away by everything around us. It created an even greater problem because if she wasn't shaky enough before, now there was also an endless parade of distractions. First, one little stumble, and then a second. In desperation - and because there was a car coming at us down the aisle - I stepped in and took her arm, supporting and softly guiding her to the side. As nervous as the relative intimacy was, she needed to move.

My heart skipped a few beats as she tried to flinch away, but I already had her. There was still an alicorn under that skin who had more than enough power to smite me if she-!

She stepped closer.

Closer!

Not right up against me, but near enough to be truly arm-in-arm. It was only after, as she showed her thanks with a small - and still distracted - smile that I realized I'd been just a bit foolish. This whole situation was simply a little more intimate than I was comfortable with as just friends. However, it was still okay because I was being a good friend by helping her.

Too bad there was only one way that other people would see us. How I wished that was just sunlight warming my cheeks.

But Etherea was unaware of all my musings as we walked through those doors and entered primetime capitalist America. At least a dozen nearby conversations, the steady overlapping beeps of multiple checkout lanes, gently rattling shopping carts, kids and their toys, and a riot of sales imagery enveloped us. It was a familiar cacophony, and one that I can't imagine Etherea being unfamiliar with - being from Canterlot and all - yet she stared with all the fascination of a child looking in on a toy store.

There was the cashier scanning items for a customer as we passed. Then there was the two parents trying to wrangle three equally overweight kids further into the store. And just past the checkout area was a tall, slim middle-aged woman showing off the jewelry station to a young couple. Followed by another big lady examining what I was positive was a shower curtain but, given the department, was likely just an outrageously floral moomoo. And then...

Considering how fast some of those people noticed Etherea in return - most notably a group of four teenage girls out front of the coffee/donut shop - I wasn't thrilled with the idea of stopping to let her gawk.

Getting away from the entrance gave us a little much-needed privacy and helped quell the niggling fear that someone would randomly intuit Etherea's true nature. Stupid, I know, but knowing that didn't stop it.

Having fewer people around also made it easier for Etherea to focus.

"Okay, so this, if you couldn't tell, is the women's clothing section," I extended a hand and encompassed much of our surroundings in a long arc. "Shirts, blouses, pants, shorts, skirts, dresses, ummm... Over there are bras and underwear. Swimwear was up front there-"

She turned to follow my nod, eyes lingering on all the activity in that direction.

"-but don't worry about any of that. That way are some hats and things," I pointed her in another direction, "socks and things, and then shoes and things."

She took another look around before meeting my eyes with a tiny grin. "So many things."

"Ahhh... Yes, there are."

My faint embarrassment must have been noticeable because she kept smiling as she let go of my arm and stepped over to the closest rack.

"There are many options here. What do most, um, women wear?"

I took a breath. The question was about what I'd expected. It's just that the answer was a bit involved. And there were sure to be more coming - ones I hadn't foreseen and might be less able to answer.

"Depends." That got a deadpan look. "I know, I know, but you've got a lot of different options depending on what you want people to see. Dull, monotone colors like white, black, and brown - with clean, straight lines - are generally more formal." Images of actors walking the red carpet contrarily popped into my head. "Well, women tend to have more leeway there, and can add more splashes of color, but the idea stands."

Her eyes scanned the nearby pictures hung against the wall over the clothes they showed off. It wasn't hard to tell she was curiously comparing the women in suits and neat skirts to those in more colorful activewear.

"I... see."

"So, more color is more casual." More or less. I didn't want to confuse her too much.

"Good," she said brightly as she poked through the shirts on the rack before her.

"Good?"

Her head popped up with a an easy smile. "I like color. What about, um, the individual... pieces? I have seen a great many styles on the... television."

I took a moment to sort my potential answers as she continued a slow circuit around the clothes rack. "Okay, so there's pants, capris, and shorts," and probably more, but I didn't know the terms, "which cover your legs individually. The shorter you go, the more casual the clothing. Dresses, skirts, and minis are much the same except they, um, cover both legs at once instead of... Y'know, that's not really the best way to say it. Gimme' a sec' here."

Her laugh was short but crisp, standing out before blending back into the ambient noise. A quick check revealed that nobody had taken any particular notice. Those four girls were slowly perusing their way into the section though.

"I know what dresses and... skirts are, Alex. I understand. 'Minis' must be quite short."

I nodded. "Uhhh, yeah. They're meant for showing off. There's a point where 'casual' becomes 'provocative.' A woman is covering up just enough to be decent, but is, um, being obviously suggestive. Let's go with that."

If I was expecting confusion over why someone would cover up to show off, then I was sorely disappointed. She took that explanation right in stride. I suppose that ponies did have clothing so the concept wasn't foreign, just less common.

"Necklines, sleeves, and, um... the bottom edge of shirts are the same in that sense. Full coverage is more formal, less is more casual until it becomes provocative."

"Mmhmmm." She lifted the corner of a shirt too see more of the pattern. "At what point does casual end and 'provocative' begin?"

"Ummm..." My hesitation brought her eyes up, her expression softly inquisitive.

"About here," I said simply as I used my hand to cut a line halfway up my thighs. "For sleeves it's right about the shoulders themselves, though that's less definite. For necklines it's right about the point you, um, start to show the top of your breasts." I kept my expression under careful control as I motioned toward her chest, drawing her attention down. "For the bottom of shorts and tops of pants or dresses it's when the two don't meet and you show off some of your stomach."

It was about as good an explanation as I figured I could give in a crash course. But there was also so much more-

"I thought so. Cassie's outfit was quite provocative."

I hesitated at her statement. The image of Cassie's barely covered pert butt perched on the edge of a stool flashed into my head. And then Etherea's grin spread.

Fuck.

"Yeah..." Like hell I was saying more.

"I will keep that in mind... should I ever desire to attract a human stallion."

If I'd been doing anything other than standing there dumbstruck I would have spluttered all over the place. That that was a possibility... That she might wear... That I might see... That we...

No. It was just harmless teasing. It had to be.

Definitely; she was laughing again. Which meant I was blushing. Great!

"Careful. You might end up with guys like Craig following you around."

Her laughter choked off with a snort.

"Really?" She sounded almost hopeful.

Which was not what I'd wanted to hear. Trying to sort out my fraying thoughts left me with nothing to say and just made her giggle again.

"You're just messing around, aren't you?"

"Umm... I assume that you mean I... am enjoying myself entirely too much."

Her grin widened when I nodded.

"Mmhmm. I hope that I have not taken things too far... from human propriety." Not this again. "But I am outside - truly and freely - for the first time in... most of a week, and without the worry... of accidental discovery. Summer is also coming on, so there is that as well." Wait, what-? "Of course I am going to enjoy myself. That would be something though; barely a week... on your world and already having suitors." She finished with a soft snort.

My thoughts tried to follow that hairpin corner and went careening back off into nowhere. She, on the other hand, simply sorted through another couple of shirts. Her ability to leave me reeling was absolutely incredible, especially because she had no idea what she'd hit on and then so casually dismissed.

Not that she was really available for me to desire.

"So, what about the other human garments? The, um, underwear?"

Yes, explaining underwear to a cute pony-as-girl. A good, safe topic that I was ever so excited for. Still, I could do this.

And if nothing else, leading Etherea across the aisle to the intimates section put some distance on the slowly encroaching gaggle of teenage girls.

"So this is underwear." A good, lame start. "Um... otherwise known as panties and bras. You wear panties under your pants, skirts, and whatnot for comfort. They're more comfortable than a lot of outerwear, and will prevent, um, chafing and all that. They're what you want for under things like jeans. Bras do much the sa-"

Etherea's gentle giggle cut straight through my thoughts. She was again looking up at the posters above and behind the section, these ones featuring women happily posing in their undergarments.

"Alex, I can see how they are meant to be worn."

Of course. I could have just pointed those out.

"What is the difference between these," she lifted a rather modest white set, "and these?" Her second choice was a light blue ensemble from a different display with much more elaborate edging and stitch work. It was also much slimmer.

"Is there a comfort difference... or is this second simply more ornate?"

Y'know, I'd never actually wondered how comfortable lingerie actually was. I'd always just kind of assumed it would be because of being silk and all that. "Those are, um, more for showing off."

"Showing off?" Her brows furrowed as she turned from her examination. "I thought you said... these went under your other clothes for comfort. When would they ever be on display?"

We stared at each other for a very long moment. There was no way she couldn't get it. And the longer she failed to connect the dots the warmer my cheeks got. Eventually my fingers started itching to twitch.

"When... would you want to take your clothes off around someone else?"

She blinked and flashed bright red. "Oh!"

Even better was that she practically lunged in her attempt to put the undergarments back on the rack. I tensed, ready to jump in her direction to help, but she caught the top of the rack and held herself steady.

Though the underwear in question ended up on the floor.

Her rosy color lingered as her eyes darted up and down between me and the dropped underwear. Eventually she crouched, guiding herself down with a hand on the bar that help up the rack, and retrieved the errant garments, placing them much more carefully back in their spot. It was only a supreme effort of will that kept my laughter contained. Mostly contained.

"Forgive me, I was not thinking... Wait, you are laughing?"

"No..." And then, despite myself, I was.

She straightened, looking like she wasn't quite sure who I was. "What...? I..."

I couldn't help prodding playfully. "Are you trying to tease me?"

"Maybe a little." She paused, taking a breath. "I thought this would be more embarrassing - that this," she motioned toward the rack she had fled, "would be too much."

"It's not that bad." Her cocked head and raised eyebrow said that she didn't believe me either. "Okay, it is a little bit embarrassing. I never expected to have to explain... things like this to a... to you. But then you were just so desperate to hide them." My grin twitched as I nodded downward. "Plus I put up with Cassie, right? And she was much more, um, blatant."

For a bit her face was unreadable. Then the corners of her lips curled slightly. "So it would not be... a problem for you to help me decide...," her eyes flicked sideways as her hand found a pair of modestly-cut panties with green and yellow horizontal stripes, "whether these would be appropriate to wear."

I shrugged. Honestly, one pair was about the same as another to me. An iron grip kept my mind firmly in line. They were just panties; it's not like she was wearing them.

The glint in her eye was worrisome though.

"Or..." Out came a light pink set with a less than subtle design leading the eyes to the prize and areas I could somewhat see through. "Pink has always been my favorite color."

Which, of course, did it for me. The baser part of my mind took it and ran - the pretty girl in front of me holding suggestive garments being too much. Her. Wearing nothing but that underwear. Striking a pose, flipping her hair, and a wink...

Damnit! I knew that making me blush was exactly her intent, and a part of me roiled at being teased over something I wanted but couldn't have. And in such a public place too! It all just rubbed me the wrong way. And it was exactly the reaction that I'd been trying to convince her I wasn't having. Or at least that it wasn't that bad.

She laughed crisply, oblivious to my turmoil, and carefully returned the panties to their spot.

And I just had to rebut. "You suck so much." But Mister Witty I was not.

"I do what?" She returned a look of honest confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

She didn't get it? Of course she didn't; it's not like she really understood English all that well! This was a good thing! As a human male, my mind had expected her to take that in a whole different direction - a direction that I was just now realizing might have been a bad idea.

A calm, safe explanation I could do though. "Said like that? It's sort of a playful way of saying that someone is being mean. In a friendly way."

She took a moment to digest that, eventually nodded before looking around. Too innocently. "Oh, well, I do not know... if I can help periodically being mean. You will simply have to live with me."

And just like that she was back on the offensive. From safely within the interior of my head I slapped my forehead hard enough that my ears should have been ringing. Fine, princess, I had told you I could live with it, so live with it I would.

She did check to see my reaction though.

"I'll manage." I would.

She smiled right back. "In all seriousness, I will need some help... determining what will fit me. I am sure I... can figure out some things, but others I have no experience with." She lifted and let drop the cup of a nearby bra.

"Honestly? I don't have much experience sizing women's clothing either." I shrugged helplessly. "I think what we'll have to do is just give you several options and then you'll have to try them on in the fitting rooms. Short of that, we'd have to get you measured and I don't think we want to try that in a Target. I mean, how human are you overall under those clothes?"

I was apparently the more embarrassed by that question because she frowned but otherwise didn't bat an eye.

"Mostly? As I said, I had references for... much of this form, but there are... portions that I simply could not estimate. We would not want anyone to... examine me closely."

"I figured." I scanned the area around us, noting that we weren't in danger of any of anyone else being too close. "Well, it should be pretty easy to sort out the basics like, um, your hips. Do you have any preferences for style?"

Hopefully turning that decision over to her wasn't a mistake. I knew how women shopped.

"Uhhhhh..." She blinked at the area around her. "Is there a price... difference between the styles?"

I silently breathed a sigh of relief. Thankfully she stayed agreeable and her biggest sticking point really was the price. She even made me assure her several times that what we were looking at was not going to tax me much.

Testing for her size was just a little uncomfortable, to say the least. Without any other way to measure her I fell back on the tried and true method of holding up a garment to see how well it wrapped around. And since she didn't know what to look for, I had to show her. Which meant I had to get right up close to her crotch, trying to stoically doing my duty of pressing the chosen pair of panties against her - and my jeans - to see how well they might fit, without paying too much attention.

I just kept telling myself that she was a pony on the inside. And a princess from another dimension. And the daughter of two ponies I didn't want to piss off any more than I might already have. And she had a coltfriend.

But all of my self-admonition did little to quell the fact that I was testing underwear on a very cute girl.

At least she was able to quickly sort out a handful of other potentials that also fit her aesthetic once I found one likely candidate. Her choices? Pink, of course.

And bras...

To be honest, I was completely lost. The only thing I could do was shove a few different sizes into her arms and guide her to the changing rooms. And preemptively admonish her to not try clasping them unless she was absolutely sure she could get back out again. It was a suggestion she took seriously, assuring me that under no circumstances would she get herself stuck in a garment.

Not that I didn't worry. There was just nothing else to do while I waited.

Worry about how Etherea was making out because, well, she wasn't the most steady on her feet. Worry that someone else in those changing rooms would somehow get tipped off to her nature. Worry because she was out of my sight and on her own in public for the first time ever. Sort of.

Hanging around like some creeper at the changing room entrance also wasn't an option. Hell, right outside behind a service counter it was a portly elderly lady sorting clothes. She wasn't paying attention yet, but that could change. So I moved off, finding that there were shelves of video games on the other side of the men's section. Though small and piteously-stocked they drew me in like a moth to a flame. And were still close enough that all I had to do was peek around a corner to check the changing rooms.

Now all I had to do was remain calm; Etherea was fine.

Despite my best efforts I still missed her emergence. By the time I noticed she was out she'd already been surrounded by the four teenagers. The game I'd been looking at went back, already forgotten, and I inched through into the men's section, torn between going over to help and not wanting to interrupt. How would she handle completely random strangers? I was actually more curious than worried - the teens seemed safe enough.

Sharp gestures and frowns punctuated their side of the conversation while Etherea, though defensively clutching her choice in underwear against her chest, kept patiently denying something. It had to be the hair - one of the teens tugged some of her own toward the disguised pony. The attendant behind the dressing room counter was openly paying attention but continued to calmly sort dropped off items. Her blatant attention seemed to be what eventually convinced one of the girls to pull the others away, the four of them snootily stomping back toward the entrance.

I took that as my cue and received a small smile before I got within easy talking distance.

"So, what was that about?"

"They wanted to... know how I had created the effect on my hair. And then, when I would not tell them, they instead insisted to... know where I had it done." She sent an unsatisfied look down toward the entrance. "They were very persistent."

"I noticed. And I thought so. I wouldn't worry about it."

"I am not." Her curtness still spoke volumes.

"So anyway, did you find something that, um, fit?" I glanced down and - surprise, surprise - rose-colored straps, bra cups, and portions of cloth stuck out from between her arms.

She held up the panties for my examination. "Oh yes, these seemed to fit well enough."

"You're a seven," I noted, seeing what was printed inside.

She tilted her head, violet eyes curious as she turned the garment so she could also look inside. "I am? Is that a good thing?"

"Oh, ummmm... It's just a, um, notation so it's easier to tell what else will fit you. I guess it's a good thing 'cause the seven here," I pointed it out and she looked from my finger back at me, "is on the lower end of things."

She just stared. Right, she literally knew nothing.

"The numbers go higher as you get, um, well, more fat. Size seven means that you're... not." Oh yes, Alex, how wonderfully tactful.

"Oh." The panties returned to the safety of her arms and she took a moment to sort her choices, grasping them awkwardly just in front of her stomach. "I had noticed that quite a few of the... people here are somewhat, um, larger than many that... I had seen so far. Is that normal?"

Well, I couldn't say she didn't catch on quick. I looked around, idly noting the truth of her statement in the half dozen or so people I could see. "Yeah... Land of plenty and all that. So lots over-indulge."

"I see."

Awkward silence? Check.

"I did have one problem while changing."

Good, a distraction! Not that I would ever call any problem coming from the disguised alien I'm hiding from all the surrounding oblivious humans 'good.' I dropped my chin and gave her an expectant look, dreading the worst.

"I could not tie, um, them again." She looked down.

What? Her shoes! Of course... Foolishness rose and then was doubled. I was probably blushing again. Damnit!

There was no getting out of it either; she just didn't have the manual dexterity. With a frustrated groan I stepped back over to her and crouched down to my task. Keeping an eye on my surroundings did me no favors because I noticed the lady at the changing room counter had stopped to watch.

And in the middle of it I couldn't help thinking just how silly Etherea looked with oversized shoes on. But y'know what? We could actually do something about that.

I lifted my head to scan around. Yup, there, up near the front of the store and back across the aisle.

"C'mon," I said, nodding forward as we began to wend our way through the racks.

"What are we doing now?" She ventured quietly after we'd passed by a family heading deeper into the store.

I might've been a bit hasty in getting her away from the changing room lady.

"Getting you some flip flops. They're really simple... Not shoes but still foot protection. You, um, you just slide them on and can go from there. Perfect for summer and not too expensive."

She walked around me to eye the tiers of shelves displaying a eye-catching array of colors arranged in no particular order. I stepped back as a smile settled on her face, growing as she leaned in to scan across the selections.

"Oh! These are perfect!" An entire half a second was spared to direct that smile at me. "They are like, um, hoof booties. Sort of."

Shit! Alright, nobody had noticed her verbal slip.

When I came back from checking for eavesdroppers Etherea was no longer looking at the flip flops. No, she was standing tall and gazing thoughtfully deeper into the women's section. I couldn't tell what, if anything, she was actually looking at. But I was pretty sure I didn't like her getting thoughtful in a clothes department.

"Eth... el?"

Nothing from her.

"Ethel?" A little louder this time.

"Oh! You meant..." She ducked her head while gaining faint red tinge. "I was just thinking."

That only made me more nervous! "I, uhhh... Yeah."

"I want to see something."

She grabbed a pair of dark gray flip flops with bubblegum pink straps, then headed back the way we had come. I fucking knew it...

But I followed dutifully, considering how exactly I would word my veto if she tried going overboard - I did have the money, after all. What she stopped at was a circular rack full of skirts. She immediately began circumnavigating the display, eyes glued to the riot of colors only somewhat less glaring than at the flip flop display. While coming around again she noticed me standing off a couple feet and met my eyes with an understanding grin.

"Sorry... A, ummm... a woman just cannot help herself." I sensed a- "Buuuuut, are these skirts reasonable?"

There it was. I glanced at the header above the center of the rack. "Well, they're just skirts so it's not like they're particularly expensive."

Her nod was slight but she relaxed slightly, apparently relieved, as she turned to face me directly. Hope had sprung fresh into those pretty eyes. "I know I am asking much after... not wanting you to spend any money on me, but would it be possible-"

My sigh cut her off. "This is only for one day, you know." Yeah, it was curt and it made me feel a little like an ass. She looked rather ridiculous in that set of clothes though. And would even more so in with flip flops. "But you are wearing jeans, which I know aren't the most comfortable. And I suppose... Since it was your birthday."

Her grin, which had been fading, popped right back. Some tiny part of me considered that well worth the money. But that's also how I found myself holding a pink cotton bra and panty set - a set that Etherea would be wearing soon.

I felt like such a dirty old man thinking like that.

Self-consciously keeping an eye on my surroundings, trying to think about nothing in particular, was a good distraction as Etherea poked at the display. She eventually pulled out a hem that was just on the red side of purple and compared it to her shirt and flip flops. The color wasn't actually too far off from that of her eyes.

The skirt apparently met her approval, but her first tug did nothing more than make the rack squeak. I was about to point out the problem - the hanger - but she'd already leaned in, her face lighting up in recognition just before she lifted it away.

For a moment she thought, comparing the knee-length garment to herself. "I like the colors."

I blinked, noting what she was wearing and what she might end up wearing. "Black and purple?"

"Uh huh." She stepped over and held out the skirt beside me. Comparing the color to the underwear of all things. "Black is a highly unusual color among ponies and... stands out a lot. I still love pink, but it is rather fun... wearing what feels like a very conspicuous color. It is not the best match, but this purple is still a nice splash of color."

"Y'know, if it's pink you're looking for, we might be able to find you a skirt with a picture of your mom on it." My mouth snapped shut as my brain registered a potentially fatal error.

Etherea spent a second wide-eyed but otherwise blank-faced bursting into laughter. I managed to crack a faint smile as she tried to recover, using the rack for support.

"Can you imagine?"

Yes, I could. And the image of Etherea traipsing about wearing a cartoony picture of her own mother brought a fuller smile to my face.

A quick check revealed a couple of options in her size and we headed back to the changing rooms. The lady paid us no mind outside of a nod as Etherea headed in back with her latest treasures.

Just as Etherea was about to step out of sight a thought crashed to the fore.

"Eth...! ...el." And I really needed to remember her name! "Hold up a second." That got the nearby lady's attention - Mary, by her nametag. This was going to really suck.

"Mary? Ummm, would she be able to just change into those clothes? She, uh, she lost hers on the flight over and right now, well, those aren't hers." Outside I was firmly in control. Inside I was carefully minding the rising tide of embarrassment.

Mary critically eyed the now stock-still Etherea. "Mmmmyes, we can do that. You got the fit right on all those?"

Etherea blinked, the corners of her mouth twitching a couple times before she managed an answer. "Yes, I believe I do."

"A'right," Mary fired back without pause. "You just hand them tags here when you're done and I'll check them for you. Then, when you're set, you go ahead and pay up front there."

"Got it." I found myself nodding along even though Mary hadn't been talking to me.

Now came the really hard part - especially because I'd drawn her attention back. I couldn't believe I was about to do this, but the alternative was to let Etherea go in, well, 'blind.' "A, uhhhh, tip to help you out there, Ethel. When you're, umm, putting the bra on you should put it on backwards so, ummm... so you can see the clasp." I pointed to my own sternum. "It'll be a lot easier that way, and then you can turn it around the right way." I moved my finger from one side of my chest to the other to demonstrate.

Please, please, please let her understand!

Etherea paused, looked down at the straps dangling from her hands, while I died piece by piece inside. After an interminable moment she looked up grinning, though that faded on seeing the new, redder me.

"Yes, thank you, Alex. I think that will help." She sent a fleeting, comforting smile before finally stepping carefully out of sight.

Okay, now I just had to smooth over the stone that was tying up my gut.

"What kinda' woman that age don't know how to wear a bra?"

Or Mary could just make it worse.

"Ummm, she's European." At least my lies were consistent, if flimsy as hell.

"Really now? Pretty sure they got bras over there."

I finally made myself to look at the lady behind the counter. She was leaning toward me slightly with her hands clasped on top of a neat pile of various folded clothes.

"I don't really know the place, okay? It's over there somewhere. She was, um, she was a bit confused about our clothes... I guess they don't believe in them, or something, in her hometown."

She grunted - a true, deep grunt. "And you're just the man t' help her out with all these new clothes." I bristled, a tide of anger rising at her implications. "Look, you seem nice enough - helping her and all - but she's playin' you. There's nobody, and I mean nobody, looks like that and don't know what a bra is. And she's got no 'European' accent I ever heard."

"It's not like that," I said, trying to think of an explanation to counter with.

"Sure." Her gaze leveled as an eyebrow rose. "Just watch yourself. If she start askin' for things, you'd best drop her quick."

Etherea wasn't like that. Not even close. Though I couldn't possibly explain how I knew. My frustration became less about what Mary had said and more about my inability to refute it. Gritting my teeth was all I could do. That and turn away, ending the conversation as I sought something else to do while I waited.

Fuming wasn't fun and it wasn't productive. Perusing the belts, socks, and other such things in the nearby men's section also did little to help. Still, by the time a tall girl with color-shifting hair came back into view I had a better handle on myself. I wasn't going to let Mary bother me too much when I knew the truth. Plus, she was just trying to help, if in a messed up, blunt kind of way.

I was also strangely eager to see Etherea's new look as I came back around. She caught sight of me just before she reached Mary's counter, her small smile lighting up her whole face.

And she looked good. The black, too-large Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt still seemed odd on her to me, yet the purple-ish skirt hugging her hips and hanging loosely around her thighs did so much to make her look more feminine. For the first time I could see her bare legs. Some of them. From calves to ankles they were smooth and shapely, and her feet ended in neat little toes. Just about perfect to my eyes.

It was such a strange thought, to think that she may have consciously designed her features that way, but it didn't make them any less effective. And I had the perfect opportunity to gawk while she dropped off her extras with Mary. She did have some really nice legs there.

That left a sour taste in the back of my throat though. After all, I was enabling her to present herself as more attractive. I only had myself to blame for reacting accordingly.

I sighed, unable to just let myself be.

"...could not get these ones off." She handed the flip flops to Mary - tags still attached - then turned to me, my jeans still bundled in one arm. "What do you think?"

After a second's consideration I decided on simplicity. "You look good. Certainly more, well, natural." It was the truth! Amazing how a simple skirt made her look more like her own person. "More comfortable?"

"Thank you! And yes, this is much more comfortable. I, um, I had never worn pants before and it... was very distracting."

That begged a glance at Mary but she was still sorting out the tags.

"This feels much more... more familiar. And look!"

She handed my pants over and then stepped back, the fingers of one hand resting lightly on the end of the counter. When she had a little distance she twisted her hips back and forth, the skirt swirling about her thighs and whisping gently. I kind of wanted to keep watching her do that - leggy girls in skirts being my one weakness; stupid magazines helping her find it - but she stopped a moment later, grinning widely.

"It is almost like..." Her mouth snapped shut and she twitched, her eyes not quite heading in Mary's direction, before continuing. "Umm, no offense, but wearing your, um, pants was very distracting. This feels much more natural."

Her happiness did a lot to make me feel better about buying more stuff for her, but my chuckle was a bit forced as I noted how high Mary's eyebrows had climbed. "Nice? Glad to hear. That it's all better, that is." Classic flub. "So, um, are you ready then?"

"Yes. I promise to not spend any more of your, um... money in this place."

"I'm holding you to that," I put as much mock sternness into my voice as I could and we both laughed.

After Mary finished up it was but a moment for Etherea to don the flip flops, beaming a great smile as she fitted her own feet without assistance. An accomplishment we could all be proud of, to be sure. At least I was.

And I was glad to be finally getting away from there. Especially after Mary looked me right in the eyes while telling us to take care. I really wanted to set the record straight but no, accepting it and leaving was easily the better option. Even outside trying to do so without revealing Etherea, we had things to do today.

After only one step Etherea twitched and froze. I stiffened, my head snapping around. What was wrong now?!

She looked down with comical slowness. My eyes followed, trying to locate the problem. Before I could ask about it she took another step, forcing me to follow.

Pap.

I snorted, fighting to not laugh as she continued to stare in wonder at her feet. "That's why they're called flip flops."

"Oh, that will take some getting used to," she said, voice tinged with amusement. Her attention remained downward as we started off again, a giggle breaking free as her feet flapped along happily.

The front of the store was much the same as before, just with different people. Etherea was again trying to watch everything and everyone at once and gently holding my right arm for balance. It was difficult to suppress my discomfort because there was no way we didn't look like a couple but I'm pretty sure I managed a neutral face as we arrived at a cashier. I explained the situation while laying out the tags, though Etherea proved to be engrossed in a nearby tabloid display when it came to pointing out the various things she was already wearing.

I preemptively told her 'no' and she pouted playfully. Both of us grinned.

A switch must have flipped when the cashier read the total and I swiped my card because Etherea's head popped up, her eyes darting between me, the cashier, and my wallet. How she hadn't noticed the cashier working the scanner I didn't know. By the time I finished signing my name she was biting her lower lip like it was the only thing keeping her questions at bay.

She lasted up until we were between the two sets of exit doors.

"Was the card you displayed not currency? You took it right back. Did that, um, slotted... device do something to it? How does it work?" Eager violet eyes locked onto mine from just beyond my shoulder.

"It's electronic. The-"

"You use electricity - your very power source - as currency?" Her face scrunched as she tried to wrap her head around it.

"What? No, not like that. Electronic means having to do with electrical systems. It's sort of a catch-all for many such things. My money's, well, regular currency in a bank and that card tells the, um, reader where it is. The reader then links to the bank's records and makes the transaction."

Another wonderfully concise explanation for an impressively complex reality. I was getting good at this.

Etherea was silent, staring straight ahead, as we stepped back into sunlight and instant warmth. I bet she wasn't missing her coat now.

"That is ingenious."

Her child-like wonder made me smile. "Yeah, thinking about it, it-"

"Hey twat-waffle!"

I blinked. Wait, that hadn't been Etherea. She never would have, even had she know the phrase. But for a second we still looked at each other like idiots.

"Esurli... esha?" Etherea whispered.

My brain fritzed and she went beet red. She hadn't just... She had. I filed that away for future consideration because that new, faintly thick voice had been awfully familiar.

I'd been vaguely aware of the people coming and going around us but, now that I was alerted, noted there was someone coming up from behind us. My distraction meant that I didn't immediately recognize the somewhat heavy set man with a split moustache and short, scruffy umber beard trotting up to us as a friend. Distant - met through a chain of other friends - but one all the same.

Phil! That was his name. And of course, with us just outside a busy entrance and Etherea's hair already drawing looks, Phil had gone with creative invectives to get our attention. I near-unconsciously put a little distance between Etherea and myself as he reached us. Two huffs caught his breath as he straightened his oversized gray t-shirt and swiped his short, wavy hair back into place.

"Jesus, Alex, hold up a sec." He turned, his eyes lingering on Etherea. "And Alex' friend. Hi, Phil, nice to meet you."

Etherea stepped right up and stuck a hand out, the other still on my arm. "Ethel. It is nice to meet you as well."

Phil paused, looking down at her offering, before grasping it firmly and shaking once. "Ethel. Hope you don't mind, but I just gotta' say 'nice.' When Alex finally does something he really goes all out, huh? Oh, and cool hair."

Yup, that was it; my life was over. A friend of mine not only knew about Etherea, but had caught us in a compromising position. Well, relatively. The damage would invariably be the same though. I resolutely covered my dismay with a passive expression.

And Etherea... She spent a moment futilely working her mouth. A simple nod was her eventual decision, the corners of her lips twitching indecisively.

Like he'd just demonstrated, Phil was particularly blunt so he often rubbed certain people the wrong way. I'd seen some spectacular arguments between him and those who took exception - at a safe distance - but I'd never had a problem. His personality made me careful to never take any real offense, which was probably why he considered me so agreeable.

"So, anyways. We wanted to catch you before you disappeared on us- "

"We?" Stupid question. Phil and KC were roommates, and since KC owned their ride - a truck - he had to be around somewhere.

"Yeah, me an' KC. What, you think I just hang out at Target?" They did live a ways outside town.

"No... Just distracted." I'd said it before realizing why I wouldn't have wanted to.

"I can see why." The way Etherea blushed when Phil gave her a long, slow looking over did absolutely nothing to help me. "KC'll be right out. He wanted to see if they had any good pants, some kinda' glue gun, and some other stuff, and didn't want you to leave before he could talk to you. Probably planning another bonfire."

Like clockwork a smaller young man with short, spiky blonde hair came ambling out carrying a bag full of something. Wearing a black t-shirt with a Halo game logo, jeans with legs several sizes too wide, and having a noticeable fondness for chains, studs, rivets, and similar clothing accessories easily gave one a certain dark image of his personality. Which would then be thoroughly shattered by his ready smile and easy friendship. Even I was left a bit weirded out by the dichotomy.

Today was no different as his smile popped into place. "Alex! Hey! And who's this?"

Just what I needed; more friends in on this. "Um, this is Ethel."

"Cool, cool. Didn't know you had a girl; should bring her around. Nice to meet you Ethel." He smiled at her in turn while Phil nodded along with his suggestion.

Her throat seem to have caught her words as her eyes flitted rapidly between my two friends, her chin dropping a fraction of an inch. She still managed a simple, "Likewise." Her hand came up again and after a pause KC shook it - lighter than Phil had.

Somehow my brain managed to stay on track. "Another bonfire?"

"Yeah. Glad I caught you. Dad and I've been busy-" they were landscapers, "-so we've collected a lot of extra crap-" I couldn't look at Etherea's reaction - that would just make it worse for her, "-so I'm planning a bonfire Saturday two weeks from now. I'll be passing the word around on Facebook. Wanted to know if you'd be coming. It'll be the usual: get there like six-ish, have some dogs and burgers-" I actually flinched that time, "-light it up when it gets dark, and stay till whenever."

What would I be doing that weekend? I had no idea. "Ummmm..."

I found myself inadvertently looking at Etherea. Her chin had dropped further, strands of blue hair threatening to fall off her shoulders to obscure her face.

"You should totally bring Ethel." He went back to addressing her, already looking at her with earnest hopefulness. "We get this huge fire going and then everyone hangs around playing stupid games and gettin' drunk. It's a lot of fun."

Thanks KC. This just wasn't going to be my day, was it? There were so many reasons to hope against being able to do that. And yet, one big one for. I really wanted to shake my head and hopefully dislodge the thought, but now wasn't the time.

"I do not know that I will still be, um, in town then." Etherea to my rescue! "I am just visiting, after all."

"Oh? You don't live near here, then?"

If only he knew.

"A city by the name of Canderiloen in...," Etherea trailed off, meeting my eyes for a fraction of a second.

"It's in Europe," I finished.

"Daaaaaaamn. You came all the way over here just to hang with Alex?" Phil stepped closer. I didn't see the punch until my shoulder jolted, forcing me to shift one of my feet to stay balanced. "Good job, man." Back to Etherea he went. "Well, if you're still in town in a couple weeks you should come and hang out. KC's bonfires are fuckin' fun."

"I, um... Alright." She seemed resigned to having no good answer. I knew that pain all too well.

"Look, just keep it in mind and let me know." KC encompassed both of us in a much less forceful look than Phil was giving. "It'd be cool to have you both but I understand if you can't."

"Will do," I managed.

"Awesome. Hey, we'll catch you later. Still hunting for some good chain links before we stop by game the store. Nice meeting you Ethel."

"Later. And you better be there." Phil pointed at Etherea with mock seriousness.

Neither Etherea or I had an immediate response to that - though I suspect for very different reasons - but Phil had already turned to follow KC.

"Yeah. Alright, see you KC. Phil." I lamely waved them off, more than happy to just help the situation blow over. Etherea followed my lead after a slight hesitation.

Even as we stood there, finally alone again, my mind churned with a lingering general unease. It wasn't until my friends were well beyond hearing until I felt safe enough to voice the only coherent thought in my head.

"That's going to come back and bite me."

"They thought we were a couple." Thank you Princess Obviousness.

Actually, that wasn't really fair. I mentally backtracked while stepping forward to get her moving again. She still looked a little shell-shocked and, hell, having KC and Phil just pop up like that left me feeling more than a bit.

"Yes, well, girls don't normally hang off the arms of random guys." I also needed to curb my tension-based snippiness. A moment's effort did help me to refocus.

"I apologize for that," she began. "I, ummmm..."

I jumped in, "Don't be. It's not like we could have done this without it. I just..." I sighed heavily.

"Yes, but I know how uncomfortable it makes you." Her concern was touching.

"I'll be alright," I affirmed.

She nodded, beginning to smile again as we reached the rear of my car. It didn't last long though. Her head lifted, eyes darting about, and she began scanning around us with curious little jerks of her head. Whatever she was looking for continued to elude her, causing her brows to furrow. She seemed more curious than anything but I couldn't tell why.

I reminded myself to remember her 'name.' "Ethel? What's up."

"I do not know. There is a sound..."

I cocked my head and tried to filter through the ambient noise. There was something. A soft but rising nearly omnipresent mechanical whine. It wasn't something I'd hear everyday but it also wasn't unknown. Etherea had pinned it down too and was looking across the parking lot toward a distant fence with a line of trees beyond.

"What is that?!"

The noise had climbed to a dull roar on its way to a reverberating scream. Some of the people in the parking lot - mostly those with kids - were paying attention now.

"Jet engine. It's gonna' be really loud. Get in the car."

I plopped into my seat quickly and tossed my leftover clothes into the back seat as Etherea tried to crawl in head first. It took some awkward twisting to get her butt down properly and she almost fell face-first into the center console in her hurry. Both of her arms lashed out once she was stable, hauling the door shut with far more force than was necessary. Being inside helped but could not fully mute the roar.

"Now we can-"

"Alex? What is that?!" Her voice went strident as her eyes silently begged for a comforting answer.

"...talk. It's a jet. There's an air base south of here and that... Yup. A C-5."

She wasn't paying the slightest attention. "Erdasu selsaia selias!"

A giant matte gray airplane slid into view low above the line of nearby buildings and was carving a lazy arc through the sky. It was always difficult to judge size when they were airborne, yet the ponderous wings sweeping out from the blunt body and supporting four underslung engines gave it a sense of extreme mass. The relative languidness of its motion was just deceptive.

Etherea bent herself around, her rear lifting from the seat, as she followed the plane's path.

"We're never getting out of here, are we?" I lamented.

Color-shifting hair whipped around her - it was really amazing how it did that - as she suddenly sat again, eyes bulging. "Danta esvor...? Ummm... What is that thing?"

"It's a cargo jet. Kinda' low so they must be doing maneuvers today." She just blinked and kept staring. "It's an airplane. Ummm, I don't know how better to explain it. That's what it is."

"You can not do magic," she protested. "How does it stay in the air? I do not see air balloons, or propellers, or... And what is that noise?! How...?" Her head snapped back to the window." By the stars, how fast is it moving? I already cannot see it!"

Yup, we weren't going anywhere yet.

"Okay, the basics are this. Those wings are shaped so that when its moving there's an air pressure difference that pulls the wings up. That keeps it in the air when it's moving fast enough. And no," I shook my head, "I don't know how fast it actually goes. A lot faster than us, that's for sure."

She was looking at me again. I wondered when she'd give herself whiplash. "But... you don't have Harmony! How can you generate that kind of... force in the air?"

"Jet engines. Those things under its wings have propellers inside that suck in air, compress it, add fuel, ignite it, and blast it out the back. It's not that different than my car's engine," I patted the dashboard, "just a lot more advanced. The controlled explosions generate the force to move the vehicle. Internal combustion engine and all."

I took a moment to think over my explanation. I didn't think I'd missed anything.

Etherea continued to forge ahead though. "Does everything in this world run on explosions?"

Her question brought me to an abrupt stop. First off, she was completely serious. Second, I actually had to think about that too. Coal, oil, wood, nuclear... I could see how, given what I'd told her so far, that would be a reasonable assumption.

"No... Not everything. But a lot of things." I had a pretty good idea what her next question was going to be. "Don't worry, my car's perfectly safe. We've perfected these things over the last two hundred years or so. If it somehow breaks down, all it'll do is just shut off. But I keep up with it so the chances of that are, um, tiny."

She watched me for a moment, the sound of the jet fading into the background. "That would be bad for that flying vehicle though."

"Uhhh, yes. Very much so. We're very careful about them though."

"So not something for me to worry about?"

"No."

And she accepted it just like that, just nodding like all her worry was gone! I took a second to make sure but, yes, she'd flipped straight from bug-eyed to pure wonderment. She was twisting back and forth in her seat, trying to figure out where it had gone.

It was gratifying to see how far we'd come from her first freak outs.

"Will I see it again?" She was just so eager now.

"I'm sure it will come around again at some point."

There must have been frustration in my tone as well because she returned to me, her worry plain in her eyes. "You are not content to sit and wait, are you."

I flinched, but could not bring myself to be anything but honest. "Not really. It's fun and all to explain all this, but I don't really want to spend all day sitting here pointing things out."

She sheepish tilted her head, smiling faintly at me. "I... understand. So, where to? A daylight tour of all the locations we visited last night?"

"I think that was the plan." Finally! Maybe Oggie's was open.

Just a couple things first. Minor ones, really... "First off, don't forget to buckle your seat belt."

She did so as quickly as her lack of finger coordination would allow. A mock glare told me she was going to do this for herself, or else.

"And, just so you know, when you're sitting down in a skirt you'll want to do one of two things: either hold your knees together or quickly cross your legs. It doesn't matter so much here in the car, but it's for, y'know, any place that someone might see... well, up your skirt." That, by itself, was probably too strict. "But it's not like you have to make sure nobody's looking or anything, just make the effort to show that you're not trying to, um... show everything off and nobody will pay attention. 'Kay?"

She dutifully listened, nodding as I wrapped up. Testing my advice by crossing her legs here in the car didn't work out so well, but she did figure out how to sit without flashing her panties to the world. Thank God for that; I didn't need any more distractions from her.

Then she wiggled her hips experimentally. "These clothes really are much more comfortable."

Good to know that her underwear was comfortable. And that it wasn't chafing...

Ugh! Dragging my mind back from dirty places was becoming all too-common a habit. There were definitely some bad sides to hanging around her.

As we pulled back out into traffic - me again careful of the distance between my car and others - she brought her hands up and placed them on the dashboard. She sat there, feeling the car rumbling gently for a bit.

"Is this one very powerful?"

"For its engine size, yes," I responded distractedly. "Supercharged to two hundred-some horsepower. Not the-"

"Wait..." She mouthed something to herself, her face scrunching in serious concentration. "Horse. Power? Power generated by... horses?"

I stole a quick glance and found her watching me.

"Sort of? We measure our engines by how they compare to the amount of work some kind of horse could do. My car's engine can do the equivalent work of two hundred or so. The engines on that jet are measured in thousands. Maybe more. Don't really know."

"Oh! That makes more sense." She gave a light chuckle. "I could not understand... the original word and its components did not make... much sense individually either."

In the back of my mind I noted my mouth dropping open. "Wait, you didn't...? You're already parsing English?"

"I actually have quite a bit of... linguistic experience." Her tone was absolutely laden with pride, though she followed with an easy grin. "Though really, you still... have prehistoric horses. The word stands out to me and it... was not hard to work forward from there."

Well, that made sense. I nodded, unsure what else to say about that, and for a few seconds there was glorious, deafening silence. Talk about worrisome.

"Are there any... horses near here?"

A chill went down my spine as I caught up to the topic shift. I knew exactly where there were and it wasn't terribly far - not when you had all afternoon free. But did I really want to head there even if it was for her? There was no way she wasn't going to ask that next.

The rising worries weren't enough to make me hide the truth. "Sort of."

"Would it...?"

I cringed. Here it came.

"Would it be possible to see them?"

Yup. Now I had two options. I could agree and put myself in a position I wasn't at sure I was comfortable with. Or I could tell her no and have to try explaining why, which might be just as bad. Directly confront my 'issues' or try to subtly skirt them with Miss Perceptive over there.

"Alex?"

And I needed to decide right fucking now. "I... We probably can." God, I hoped this would go alright.

The way her face lit up, like she was ready to jump over and hug me, made it somewhat better. This was for her, after all. Actually, the way she sort of vibrated with eagerness for a minute was pretty worrisome. If she start crawling over...

I actually wasn't sure what I'd do. Stop her, certainly. Somehow. I wasn't sure how while also driving.

Instead, much to my relief, she thanked me with a much more mundane hand on my shoulder. I tipped my head in acknowledgement.

As we turned southward - like I was heading to work on my day off - I existed in a bit of a daze. Was I throwing myself headlong into a fire with this? These were horses and I had some kind of sick attraction for them. I again let myself worry that my reaction existed, how strong it was or wasn't, what it would be like with Etherea there...

Etherea, who was getting a good, long look at the C-5 as it nosed ungainly through the sky in another wide loop around us. Her fascination was total, all traces of worry over the aircraft's presence seemingly gone like the wind.

Something about her told me I was worrying too much. My feelings felt incredibly strange - even slightly unpleasant - but I wasn't worried about my control of them. If anything I should be more mindful of my feelings for her.

And all that wouldn't be resolved here and now.

She proved to be great company after the C-5 disappeared again, starting up an impromptu and long-running game of 'Etherea spies.' Cars great and small, vans, trucks, SUVs, tankers, trailers, and more - even the underside of an overpass - became topics of conversation. Nothing escaped her. Where were they from? What was the difference between one and another? What were the symbols and markers, and what did they mean?

It was far more information than any single person could process in the time we had but her exuberance rubbed off on me. This was a kind of game! And at the end I could look forward to sharing horses with an intelligent alien mini-horse. The ludicrousness of the scenario was more entertaining than I cared to admit even to myself.

But that just made it more fun!

The entrance to the stables was on the outside corner of a shallow S-shape in the road on the opposite side from where we were traveling. Even from a distance, as we approached the first curve, I could plainly see a dark equine shape in the fenced area out front and across their drive from the track.

Was it the one I'd been 'oggling' the other day? It was hard to tell given the difference in time of day. So... maybe.

I firmly wrangled my thoughts away from where that might lead.

Etherea had been busy watching the C-5 in the distance behind us, but as I headed into the U-turn that would bring us to the stable's entrance the horse was put right in her sights. A hand in front of her mouth poorly covered her full-body gasp and she left it in front of her mouth, apparently forgotten - I tried and failed to not chuckle - even after we pulled into the entrance. As we passed the horse, which was a rich brown so dark as to be black, Etherea twisted around like she was going to climb into the back seat to continue watching as it passed by.

What was it with her and climbing around inside moving cars? It's like she'd never...

Never mind.

While it might be fun for a quick peek any other time - not that I would actually ever - here and now, while pulling into some place, was not the time for it. A hand on her shoulder got her to sit still, her cheeks lighting up red as her smile fluctuated.

But y'know what? Even if the horse was just nosing at patches of grass, or looking at our car with mild interest - seriously, exciting stuff - I figured I understood. For her this would be like stepping back in time - kind of like me getting to meet a neanderthal, or a dinosaur, or something. I could only imagine the sheer awesome in such a situation.

The house at the end of the drive was two-storied, white, and had peaked windows poking up from its roof. With neat lines and largely unadorned it was a classic example of American semi-rural architecture. On the other side it had a narrow covered porch with slim, square columns, and was separated from a similarly pristine stable by a small expanse of blacktop. Two cars were on the porch side while a heavy pickup sat at the opposite from where the drive came around.

The stable itself was set lengthwise along the blacktop with the drive-side end opening to the track while more fenced plots and the hitch of a very large trailer showed around the far end. A large double door was propped wide in the center of the wall facing us, as well as the two windows to either side of it, giving us clear glimpses through the stalls and out the other side.

In the window nearest the track end there was even the back of a brownish horse.

Not that I paid too much attention because dead center of the blacktop were two people who had clearly just broken off a conversation to watch us: a tall tanned man in a dark blue shirt, jeans, and boots and a middle-aged woman in riding breeches and a white shirt, her straight black hair coming to just below her ears. They moved aside and let me pull into some of the open space next to the house.

Well, here goes.

I gathered up my best, most pleasant attitude and crossed my fingers. Figuratively.

When I checked the rearview only the man was still there, arms crossed and expression blank. I guess he knew we were unexpected. That brought a small twinge of consternation; we might be taking time from something properly scheduled. I was sure stables had a lot of upkeep, after all.

To add to my woes, it struck me just then that Etherea wasn't really attired for a tromp around a stable. At the minimum she'd have to switch back to my shoes.

Which just made me so much more glad I'd bought those flip flops.

"Alex, this will not cost you anything, will it?"

Speaking of reasons I could have used to dissuade her.

"I, um, hope not." People had to be able to check out the place before forking anything over.

Etherea frowned but I was already moving on. "So I just remembered that they keep animals here. Some areas will be, well, dirty no matter what." It was a bit of a stretch to the back seat, but I managed to snag her other footwear. "You're not going to want to be wandering around in those flip flops. You think you can handle these?"

God, I hoped so. I didn't want to have to tie her shoes for her in front of this guy.

"Ummmm... Possibly." It would have to do.

"Alright. I'm going to see what I can find out while you do that. Okay?"

She nodded, her jaw set and eyes boring into the two shoes in her lap.

Warmth surrounded me the instant I stood outside the car. A split second later the scents of animals, hay, and manure filtered in as well. Which just left...

Up close the man had the classic ruggedness that went so well with being a cowboy, though tempered slightly by softness around the edges that only came from a life of good living.

"Something I can do for you?" It was a lot more confrontational than I'd expected, ramping up my unease.

I could still be pleasant right back though. "I hope so. My friend, um, Ethel is visiting and has never seen a horse up close before. We were kinda' hoping it would be okay to take a look."

One corner of his lips twitched, his eyebrows dropping. "You just want to see a horse?"

"I guess. Yeah." I managed to hold back the urge to fidget.

"You been around horses before?"

It was tempting to be smug, but this guy worked with horses all the time. "Yeah. Had a couple lessons way back when and went on a few trail rides."

"So then you've got some idea...?"

The door of a car opening interrupted us, drawing our attention to Etherea as she stood - pulled herself up, really - with a fair amount of confidence. The hand she'd placed on the roof distracted her almost immediately, and then a second later her nose scrunched. Her 'I just chomped on a lemon' face was entertaining, to say the least.

Yes, Princess, that's horse manure in the air.

Even so, she was quick to smile as her focus shifted to our host. One of his eyebrows inched incrementally upward.

"Hello! I am Eth... el. It is a pleasure to meet you."

Shit! I’d forgotten introductions!

"Austin. Welcome to Brennock Stables." At least he was merely cool rather than something worse.

"Alex," I filled in as Austin looked back to me. "And thanks for this."

He shrugged. "This way."

Etherea spent a second watching her hand as it glided along my car before meeting me at the trunk. She'd gotten out of the car far faster than I'd expected and I couldn't help but glance downward as she came fully into view. Below her skirt were tied shoes, somehow, though there was something different about the knots. I couldn't quite identify how, and with Austin striding away there wasn't time to check. She met my eyes with a growing smile as I offered my arm again.

"Thanks!" she said airily as her head began to swivel, beginning to take in the new location. "This is so exciting! Real, living yu... ummm, horses!" She bumped her shoulder into mine a little too forcefully, nearly put me off balance when she stumbled.

"S-sorry!" She dropped her chin, cheeks going red. "That works so much better as a... a... Never mind."

"I know," I said, trying to be mollifying. Switching gears, I glanced down tellingly. "So how'd you manage...?"

Realization dawned only after she dropped her whole head to look.S "Oh! Yes, I..." She tapped her forehead with the fingers of one hand.

Magic? She'd used magic around Austin?!

I was putting together a vicious admonition before I caught myself. Not here in front of the man I wanted to hide it from.

"Do not worry, he could... not have seen," she whispered.

That didn't mean a thing! There were all kinds of places someone else could have spotted her!

Though that was yet another thing to shelve for later. At least we weren't being bombarded with questions about her angelic halo. Yet. Hopefully I was just being paranoid. As we came up to Austin again, who was waiting with folded arms by the open double door and tapping a finger, I made sure my expression was calmer than I felt.

"So, alright. A couple of rules. Don't touch anything without permission, especially the horses. You don't want to go spooking them." he gave Etherea a serious look. "And pretty much everything else is someone's. Just behave yourselves and you'll do alright. Now c'mon; follow me."

In we went, Austin's footsteps thudding heavily on the wooden floor in counterpoint to Etherea's blissful clomping. We passed through what was very loosely an entryway with chest-high dividers to either side topped by thick, black bars separating us from the nearest stalls. Two rather spacious stalls were to the left and right of the entry, the far right one holding the brown horse we'd seen from outside. Against the far wall were four more stalls mirroring the ones on this side with an alcove that matched the entryway. Its walls featured several lockers, a large boot rack, benches, and tack hooks - on one of which reigns currently hung.

Just as the smell of animals and hay punched my sinuses - from the outside it was clear animals lived nearby, but across the threshold was clearly their very lair - I was stopped by a slow tug from the arm Etherea held. She'd planted herself just inside, stiff as a board, her grip tightening and not letting me continue. Her free hand shot up to cover her entire nose as her eyes made a valiant attempt to leap across the building like an old Warner Brothers cartoon. She'd spotted the black horse across the alleyway and left from the entrance, a white spot on its forehead and a larger splotch on its nose.

My brain saw fit to point out that this horse might also have been the one I'd been watching the other day.

Patting Etherea's hand was partly to comfort her and also to give myself something else to concentrate on. She twitched and went faintly pink, looking over at me as the spell broke.

Austin turned languidly when he reached the center of the alleyway. "Here we are. Currently we're stabling four horses. Down on the end," he indicated the brown horse, "we have Daisy May, a Standardbred. She's fifteen point two hands and a trained harness racer. On my right is Buster, a Morgan. He's fourteen point seven hands and one of..."

He?! I might've been ogling a stallion the other day? Oh, goddamnit! What the hell was wrong...?

Actually, that kind of thinking was completely ridiculous. I couldn't really fault myself for something I couldn't have known.

Plus worrying was distracting me from more important things.

"...working with Smokey Anandalite." Austin had his hand pointing toward the left end of the stable, just outside of which the lady from earlier was brushing down a larger light brown horse with blonde mane and tail. "He's another Standardbred and our other instruction horse. Stands at sixteen point four hands." He nodded back past Etherea and I. "Out front you probably saw Sweet Sunrise, the other racer who stables here, though we just call her 'Pitch.'"

Crap! I'd missed the lady's name. No matter how I tried I'd truly seemed to have missed it.

"So, how much do you know about horses?" Austin faced both of us but it was clear by how his eyes lingered beside me that the question was for Etherea.

"I have seen them from a distance," she managed, her hand still over her nose.

I swallowed a laugh at her obvious - to me - evasion while Austin nodded slowly, his lips tight. He moved over to the chest-high wooden door of Buster's stall.

Buster had been watching us off and on while pulling bites from something hung just inside the stall but he brought his head up to nose between the bars as Austin passed. He followed along and stuck his head over the door, reaching forward until Austin set a hand near the top of his forehead and began scratching. Apparently that wasn't enough because he nudged Austin's shoulder.

"Alright. Well, why don't you step right over and come say 'hello?' He's perfectly friendly. It's what makes him good for-"

Something slammed against wood down the alley behind us, a hollow crack filling the stable's enclosed space. I'm pretty sure we all jumped. Maybe not Austin - he just cocked an eyebrow - but my heart definitely skipped a beat. Poor Etherea flinched hard enough that I had to brace against her.

Down at the other end was Daisy May looking at us expectantly through the bars of her stall.

"Yeah, that's our Daisy," Austin grumbled. "Good racer but spoiled rotten. David should know better but he doesn't much care. Don't mind her."

I bobbed my head in acknowledgement before looking over to my side where Etherea was still staring toward the far end. "So... Gonna' go say 'hi?'" Another nod got her pointed in the right direction.

She gave my arm another squeeze. "He's so big," she breathed in awe.

And then I couldn't breathe. It's not like she was referring to anything other than the horse's general mass - she couldn't see that. But despite the howling amusement in my head I couldn't embarrass her like that. She was just so tense already.

A small tug got her moving again, though her movements were just as stiff as the rest of her. Stumbling once forced her to pay more attention to her surroundings.

It also brought Austin's eyebrow creeping up his forehead.

"So... when you first meet a horse you'll want to pay close attention to how they're watching you." Austin's explanation carried only a hint of his former curtness. "See how Buster's ears are up and he's alert but nice and relaxed? You can see he's in a good mood so it should be safe to approach."

I kind of already knew that but it was good for Etherea to hear. As we moved in and Buster came within range I presented a hand before his muzzle. He took the cue and investigated with a few deep sniffs before flapping his lips against my palm.

"Good. You do know something of what you're up to." Austin turned a thoughtful frown on Buster. "Seems Daisy's been rubbing off on you, boy. Shouldn't listen to her."

And back to us. "So Buster's checked you out and, as you can see, he's okay with you. You can go and rub his muzzle, forehead, or even his ears. Just keep an eye on them. If his ears go back then stop whatever you're doing."

Really simple stuff. So simple that I looked over at Etherea. She took the hint with a wavering grin and lifted her hand. It was a slow process as she inched closer. Honestly, it reminded me of those first anxious moments with her when I wasn't sure I wanted confirmation that she was actually laying on my floor.

Buster, completely defying the gravity of the moment, decided it was the perfect time to rub his nose across one shoulder - maybe wiping the boogers off, or something. His head came right back around and he planted his nose in the center of Etherea's palm, whuffling mightily. Etherea just stood there, immobile but grinning like an idiot, as her hand was molested.

It was an amazing moment as equine met... sort of equine. I couldn't help cracking a grin.

"So, what do you think?"

Her eventual response was breathy and distant. "Amazing."

Buster pulled his head back, lip curled upward, before pressing against the door and giving Etherea a faceful of muzzle. Her head jerked and the sudden motion tripped her backward, her arm slipping from my grasp as she flailed. I made another, desperate grab but missed. She landed on her butt with a sharp cry.

Austin was already talking Buster deeper into his stall as I dropped to my knees.

"Woah, woah, woah! Eth... uh, you alright?" With a second's hesitation - now wasn't the time for it! - I put a hand on her shoulder.

"I... I am. Mostly." She grimaced when she turned her hands over, showing the fresh smears of dirt and hay.

The way she seemed to be trying to avoid putting any weight on her rear told me all I needed to know about the 'mostly' part. Great... That was, what, the third or fourth time she'd been hurt there since arriving? I quickly caught her hand and pulled her up to assuage my shame at her recurring situation.

Getting her back up was easy; keeping her there not so much. I had to grab her by both shoulders as she almost went over the other way - toward me. Despite the momentary fumble we managed to cooperate and steady her, both of us pausing to verify that she was indeed alright.

It placed us entirely too close together - my hands on her upper arms and hers on my elbows - both looking at each other and waiting for something. Like some movie cliché. And just like any good one, Austin chose that moment to come around from behind me.

"You hurt anywhere?"

And just like that I was a long step away from her. My mind helpfully pointed out that being clear about keeping away from the alien princess was a good thing.

"Mostly my pride." Etherea's faint smile was completed by a small blush, her eyes drifting down to her skirt. She tried twisting around to see the damage but on her own her balance just wasn't good enough. "It is such a shame, umm, that I just got this."

"Eh, you're alright. That'll wash out." He handed her a hand towel he'd pulled from somewhere.

She grasped it with a fist and tried to swipe at her butt. It kind of worked. Wiping herself off with her hands and then using the towel on them worked a lot better.

"Never seen him so friendly like that. You carrying sugarcubes around or something?"

"Ummm, no," Etherea said slowly, eyeing Buster.

"Salt blocks?"

She just stared at Austin, her brow twitching once.

"Alright, I'll take your word for it." Austin tipped his head to her before stepping back to the stall. "I can put a bridle and lead on him if you want to try again. It'll let me hold him so he can't do that again."

I looked to her, watching patiently as she thought about it. The gears were cranking hard as she went from owner to horse and back again several times. Eventually, after a slow nod, Austin went to retrieve a bridle from the nearby alcove. Buster spent the time leaning over the door, trying to reach out and sniff us, while, conversely, Etherea went back to holding her nose.

It was hard to decide just how to feel about the situation. The very different reactions between horse and disguised pony was kind of amusing, but I didn't like that Etherea had essentially been knocked on her ass. The thing was, it wasn't Austin's fault and Buster was just a horse, so any anger was pointless.

As soon as Austin came back Buster switched to trying to nuzzle something out of him. He knew where the goods were supposed to be.

Only after the bridle slipped over Buster's head, and Austin demonstrated just how firm his grip was on the base of the lead, did Etherea approach again. But ear scratches distracted Buster only until he got another whiff of her, and he tugged at Austin's grip while rumbling softly in his chest. He didn't try all that hard, not with Austin holding his head still, but he didn't completely let up either. Still, she determinedly yet tentatively stroked Busters neck at her maximum reach - first with her fingertips to test the texture and then with her whole hand.

It gave me a long moment to wonder exactly what Etherea smelled like to him. She was a pony. But she also wasn't from Earth. It seemed impossible that she had any more than a superficial resemblance to terrestrial equines, but only Buster could tell me for sure. And he was thoroughly distracted.

Which brought another question to mind: would Etherea also so enjoy a good ear scratching? I didn't know whether to hope for the chance to find out.

After a minute or so, and another impatient bang from a hoof striking wood, Austin pushed Buster back toward his feed bag and led us toward the other end of the stable. This time, much to my amusement, he preemptively snagged another bridle. Daisy, who was a rich reddish-brown with a lustrous black mane, seemed about to start pronking about as we finally paid her attention.

"So Daisy May's a Standardbred," Austin commented as he pushed the top strap past Daisy's ears. "Buster's thinner and shorter, but as a Morgan he's also got nicer lines. Morgans are showier horses and you can really see it in the way their necks bend. Daisy here's thicker in the barrel and haunches, she's straighter and just plain bigger. She's a racer."

He patted her neck after pushing her nose away from front of his shirt and I got to let Daisy get to know me. Etherea waited until Austin had a good grip on the lead, stayed well back and making Daisy reach for it.

One good whiff sent Daisy's ears back. She pressed forward, reaching with her head and letting out a soft, high-pitched noise like the squeal of a rusty gate.

"Veh!"

"Hoe!"

My heart went straight to overdrive as I nearly jumped out of my skin at the dual near-shout.

Daisy was only stopped by Austin's grip and Etherea's distance. Still, she attempted to toss her head at Austin as he held her. I was all ready jump in whichever direction was safest. Etherea...

She stood her ground near me tensely, her eyes never leaving the irate mare. Tremors ran through her with every breath yet she didn't back down. After her previous jitters it was, in a word, impressive.

More princess-ly training maybe?

"Feel silly asking this again, but you alright miss?" Daisy was letting Austin stroke her forehead but her ears kept flipping back and forth toward Etherea.

After a deep breath she managed to speak. "Y-Yes. I am fine."

"That was a quick eye there. You sure you've never worked with horses?"

"I am. It is... It was not hard to see that she... was not happy."

"Yeah, but you beat me to the punch," he eyed Etherea appraisingly.

She lowered her chin as his gaze lingered, her hair shifting forward. "I... I just, um, knew."

I could imagine why. Still, it was revealing to see Etherea like this, and yet so frustrating that I couldn't just ask her how similar horse and pony mannerisms actually were.

Austin grunted. "Could use more people like that 'round here."

Daisy continued to fidget, stepping forward again and making Austin take back the slack he'd just given her. "The hell's gotten into you girl? She's just a nice lady come to say 'hi.' She's not gonna' hurt you."

Daisy let herself be mollified by his attention. Somewhat. She only lashed her tail a little.

"Well, I don't think she's going to be alright for a bit." He waved us back and then reached around Daisy's head to grab the bridle. "What say we go see what Claire's up to with Smokey down at the other end? Don't need to be hanging around Daisy here if she's going to be pissy."

Claire. Good. Now I knew her name.

Being at the other end of the stable sounded like a pretty good idea too to me and Etherea nodded her agreement as well. I glanced back as we followed Austin away. Daisy was still watching us carefully. Good thing she couldn't talk.

Etherea had also looked over her shoulder and our eyes met as we turned away together. She opened her mouth, her head cocking like she was about to launch into something important. A glance toward Austin's back killed that.

Something pony-related then. I tried to convey the strength of my understanding and the breadth of my withheld questions with a silent look. Etherea's snort and sudden grin told me how 'well' I'd done. I found something else to look at, my cheeks warming.

Something like Claire and Smokey, who were just outside and to the right of the stable door we were approaching. Smokey was standing placidly with eyes half-lidded while Claire ran a wide brush across his shoulder, his lead looped to something against the side of the building that was just out of sight. It was amazing how small he made me feel even at a distance - not like that, though I'm sure he would; lucky horse - his shoulder looked to be right about nose-height for me.

Etherea must have felt it even more keenly because she stopped a good ten or fifteen feet from the stable exit. It wasn't just awe; she was firmly rooted, her eyes locked on target and fingers stiff against my forearm.

"Daisy's acting up." Austin shook his head as he reached Claire.

She replied with a sigh. "I'll have another talk with him." Her voice was slightly thready, like a smoker's.

For a moment I blanked on the conversation. Daisy was a 'her,' right? Oh... Her owner, Chris.

"Now, what Claire here's doing is..." When Austin turned his face seemed to darken, a frown flickering into place when he saw where we were.

"Daisy really spooked you, huh? I promise you Smokey's about the most agreeable horse you'll ever meet." He pretty much slapped the horse's shoulder, getting not even an ear waggle. "Daisy's just a bit high strung because it's that time of the year. Smokey here's too plain lazy to get worked up, so no need to worry."

That didn't mean I wasn't worried what Smokey would think when he found an Equestrian next to him. Though with droopy eyes and lips, he did look a hair shy of comatose.

Still, Etherea didn't move.

Austin squared his shoulders and crossed his arms. "I'm serious. You can come up here; he's perfectly safe. Just mind your toes. He won't care where they are if he moves, but you sure will."

Well, I suppose I could be 'the man' for Etherea, if that's what it took. I mean, despite Smokey's size I wasn't scared of him, not really. He just seemed so tame. If it wasn't for the rare tail swish I'd have doubted he cared about flies. But leaving Etherea standing there? She could literally fall right over.

She'd also been the one who wanted to come here and at this point I wasn't about to leave without her properly meeting one horse.

"Hey," I prodded gently. "I'll show you."

"I..." She blinked before looking back and forth. The eventual nod was strong and she let go easily.

Claire looked up, dusting her hands off, as I stepped past the wall of the stable and onto the scored dirt between the stable and the fenced fields around and behind it. Unlike Austin, her face was rounded, both in shape and in contour.

As the center of attention it seemed like my skin was crawling over itself, but I found some solace in focusing exclusively on Smokey. He was tied to a line of fencing that ran along the side of the stable. It seemed like a weird place for such a thing. One hand went to his neck just up from his shoulder and got his attention, the other was offered for his perusal. He sniffed a couple times and pretty much just registered that my smell existed before returning to whatever he'd been pondering.

"He likes you," said Claire on my left.

I began stroking the side of Smokey's neck as I cobbled together an appropriate response. "How can you tell?"

That got a snort from Austin and smile from Claire.

"He sniffed you, didn't he?"

"Doesn't do that for everyone?"

"He had to wake up for it."

I chuckled under my breath as she went back to brushing. I was still obviously in her sights though.

"Were you going to saddle him and take him for a ride?"

"Yup. Have to show off what we got. It's how we get business."

I blinked, twitched, and was suddenly even more self-conscious over all that these two were doing just for us.

"He also needs some exercise and this will be a good way to get it."

That made sense. So we weren't that bad of an imposition. I turned my head, meeting Etherea's unrelenting watchfulness as I continued stroking just below Smokey's mane.

"See. He's safe." A niggling doubt hoped that with regard to her I wasn't wrong.

"Should listen to him; he knows what he's talking about." My head jerked around at Austin's words. He remained impassive despite his sudden support, arms still folded across his chest.

And then Etherea was striding shakily but purposely toward me. For a creature who'd been on two legs for less than a day she was doing really well, but I went to her just in case. Her hand came up to ward me off. In front of Claire and Austin, no less. I suppressed my irritation as Etherea came within reaching distance of Smokey. Beside me and yet clearly without me.

Her fingers reached out, hesitating just shy of Smokey's coat. She definitely held her breath as contact was finally made.

The area under her fingers twitched, she flinched, and I had to swallow another chuckle. I put my hand on his neck near hers and stroked a couple of times.

"See? He doesn't care," said Austin somewhere behind us.

"I do." Etherea laid her hand flat and moved it around a bit. Not really petting him, but feeling.

Something finally disturbed Smokey because he lifted his head, turning to look back at us. A quick sniff verified I still existed before his nose went questing past me. The hand Etherea had on Smokey stilled as her eyes locked on the muzzle homing in on her arm.

I glanced over my shoulder and found Austin watching just as intently. He looked ready to jump.

After one whiff of Etherea Smokey shifted sideways, swinging his rear around to get a better angle.

"Oh, come on!" Claire exclaimed from the other side of Etherea, planting a hand backwards against her hip and glaring at Smokey.

My hands were already up and ready to... do something. But I held where I was, hearing nothing from Austin as Smokey sniffed again.

"Get back here you...!" Claire scurried around to Smokey's other side and pushed on his rump until he stepped back into position. "Of course this lazy sack has to put on a show."

Smokey just look confused, his ears still perked as he tried to stay in range of Etherea while lacking the flexibility to do so.

"You're taking this better than I thought."

Etherea rolled her eyes at Austin's statement, glancing back past me. "You need not worry so much over me."

Austin spoke up before I could. "No offense, but they," we all knew who he was talking about even without the nod toward Smokey, "haven't been the most agreeable today. Kinda' expected you to be more jumpy."

I guess it was his way of being placating but even I thought he could have done a much better job. Judging by Etherea's unhappy frown she agreed.

"It is fine. If anything has made... me jumpy it is that I had not realized just... how big horses, um, would be up close. But he is just curious."

Austin scoffed. "Just curious? Buster was 'just curious' too."

"But this is different," Etherea said, stretching her hand back toward Smokey's face. "Buster was aggressively so... and well beyond the bounds of what I... was comfortable with. Smokey just wants to figure me out and go... about his business. Maybe with a new friend."

What?

Our hosts also seemed caught in the same failing logic loop, staring at Etherea as Smokey took his cue and got back to sniffing. And sniff he did. His nostrils flared into overdrive as he went back and forth over her hand, finishing with a gentle bump to her palm. Then he stepped sideways again to get better access to each her, earning another indignant shout from Claire.

"I don't get it." Austin scratched the top of his head. "What're you? Some kind of weird horse whisperer?"

Etherea tilted her head to peer blankly back at him.

"He means that you can communicate with horses." It still sounded crazy when I said it, even if she was a pony. "Somewhat, that is."

"Nothing so grand. Umm... I guess I just, well, have a deeper understanding," she said distantly, still enraptured with Smokey as she rested her hand over the bridge of his muzzle.

I snorted in amusement. She had to be kidding. "So, what's he saying?"

She twitched and looked over, but didn't speak until her eyes had returned to the hand she was stroking the front of Smokey's face with. "Hello mostly. And 'who are you?'"

He rumbled softly.

"And I like you."

"You think it works the other way too? Like can you get him to do things for you?" I would have rolled my eyes - it had sounded better in my head - but I stuck myself with a stupid little grin instead. Etherea filled in for me though. Austin helped her out by snorting his thoughts on the matter.

But Etherea also inched forward so she could lean slightly closer to Smokey's ear. "You should bite him. Go ahead. He does not think you... are smart enough to understand me."

Smokey took advantage of her new proximity to stick his nose in her face, becoming the second horse to get a facefull of hair when she jerked away.

"Alright, I think that's enough of that," said Austin as he moved around the two of us and placed himself under Smokey's chin.

"I'd have to agree," came from Smokey's other side where Claire was eyeing his bulk.

Only then did Etherea back off - toward me, which felt like a small victory - blushing lightly as she tried to get her hair back in place over her shoulder. The thrill I felt was quickly brought under control in favor of honestly checking to see that she was okay as I looked her over.

I'm not sure why I was so surprised when she latched onto my arm again.

"What I don't understand is how..." Austin coughed once before speaking up again, stronger than before. "Y'know what, doesn't matter I guess. Some people just seem to know. I've seen it." He pointedly cocked an eyebrow directly at Etherea. "But you're sure you've never been around horses?"

Her nod was shallow, eyes still locked on Smokey. "Yes."

Claire actually grinned at her over Smokey's back before leaning into him and pushing him back into position. "Alright. So you can tell what they're thinking. That's good. It'll help you a lot if you spend any time around horses. But do you know what I'm doing right now?"

"Grooming him?"

"Yes. But more specifically I'm cleaning his coat of anything that might hurt him under a saddle or its straps. Horses hate chafing as much as any of us." Etherea cringed slightly and I was struck by competing pangs of amusement and sympathy. "Getting all the dirt out and putting his hair down the right way also makes him look like a million bucks. We'll do the same for their manes and tails - get all the snags and grit out - and then shine them up real nice."

"You are going to dress him up for..." Etherea let her mouth hang slightly, apparently at a loss while she considered Claire with a tilted head.

Now that was something I could help with. "I think she's going to ride him around for us."

Her head popped up as her eyes went from me to Claire and back. "Are... Are we going to ride him as well?"

"No."

"Nope."

"No."

Etherea went rigid at the surround sound rejection, straightening fully as though someone had goosed her. Like clockwork I was braced for her inevitable wobble.

"Sorry," said Austin in a well-practiced tone, "can't have you doing that. You getting hurt on a horse without the proper prep or papers is a big liability."

But being in kicking or toe-crushing range isn't? I held my peace, if only because I didn't really want to try getting Etherea on a horse. There was also not knowing just how horse riding regulations played out - I'd heard crazier combinations of rules before.

"We also aren’t in the right clothes for it," I added. "It's why she," I indicated Claire, "is wearing what she is; skirts don't work well for riding." Well, there was side-saddle, but I somehow doubted that was on the table here.

"Oh." The excitement dropped out of her voice.

"You could always schedule a lesson. Only costs forty five per." And there was the pitch. Masterfully inserted, Austin!

Which of course put me under an expectant violet-eyed gaze. Yeah, no. We weren't doing that, Princess. I opened my mouth...

Etherea's expression shifted in an instant, losing the longing as she ducked her head with a widening grin. "Oh, do not worry, Alex, I was not going to ask it. Can you blame me for wondering though?"

"Well, yeah, not now," Austin spoke up. Etherea blinked hard and we both looked over to him. "Don't do lessons on Sunday. Could pencil you in for sometime later this week if you want. Would recommend you have your own boots and things first though. Could give you a list for all that."

It didn't take any time to know my answer. "I, uhhhh... We'll have to think about it."

Austin's jaw set and he nodded slowly. It was a hard look that made me want to squirm. We'd gone right back to out-of-towner impositions. Was he this gruff all the time or was this just a Sunday funk?

"Dear, you still have the time?" Claire was looking at Austin over Smokey's back while brushing away.

He looked around, his frown deepening. "Yeah." And back to me. "Well, let me know. Got some things to do, so in the mean time Claire'll go over what's what. Remember to watch your feet now." He tipped his head and smoothly about-faced toward the house.

"So," Claire picked right back up. I wondered if Etherea was also feeling the whiplash. "How much d'you two know about taking care of a horse?"

I might've expected an apology for Austin's attitude. I kind of hoped for an explanation. I guess I'd just have to agree to be disappointed because she just got on with the lesson.

And even if I had done this kind of thing once or twice it was fun getting a refresher - I did just like being around horses. Claire finished grooming Smokey poll to dock and withers to hooves while keeping up a constant commentary on what she was doing, what part of Smokey she was doing it to, and why.

Etherea paid attention as well, but other than sending a raised eyebrow my way when Claire was describing the various brushes - why, I had no idea - her focus was Smokey himself. She eventually looked to Claire for, and received, permission to get closer to Smokey again, scratching at the base of his mane and earning her both another welcoming rumble and a gentle nose bump to the shoulder. He even tried resting his chin on her shoulder, though she adamantly kept him at arm's length.

The continued actions of her fingers, and Smokey's return attention, kept most of her attention off Claire. She even missed the long, appraising look Claire directed to the both of them. I shrugged helplessly when it was turned on me.

Etherea returned to my side when it came time for Claire to actually place the saddle. The whole thing didn't phase Etherea in the least which made me wonder how similar Equestrian views on saddles were to fan interpretations.

The bridle Claire put on Smokey wasn't a plain one with a lead like the one that had kept him tied down - hah! - but a well-maintained one, or new, complete with reins. I was left with even more questions because Etherea watched a little too avidly.

And was just a little pink around the edges.

Could us fans have been right about the sex aid thing?

Of course my mind went there first. It's not like there couldn't be other, more mundane uses for them in pony society. I just couldn't think of anything that would justify a blush, no matter how faint.

I lightly set a hand on her upper back over... whatever this was and got a head shake.

"It is nothing," was her whisper while waving me off.

Biting back calling her on it was tough but knowing Claire would bear witness to everything gave me the strength. Teasing Etherea was worth practicing; doing so about pony things in public was just stupid.

With Smokey properly bedecked and shining smartly in the afternoon light Claire led us rearward from the stable - Etherea and I keeping to one side to not spook him - and headed into a dirt paddock. Inside, in two rows across the very center of the oval-shaped space, were a handful of thin logs, each cut maybe five feet long. According to her this was one of two training pens.

She hopped right up onto Smokey, much to Etherea's amazement, and took him around just inside the fence. Not quite sure what else to do I showed Etherea how to properly lean against a fence. She even copied me when I put a foot up on the bottom rail. I guess it was okay; it's not like anyone was going to look up her skirt from there.

Leaning slightly over the top rail I had more important things on my mind anyway. Like Smokey himself. Now that I had a moment to myself - relatively - I poked the lingering monster in the back of my thoughts. But as similar as Smokey's motion and form was to Etherea's as a pony, I just wasn't getting the same reaction. The larger part of it, I knew, was because Smokey wasn't a mare. That singular fact wrote him right out of my thoughts. Maybe if Claire had saddled up Daisy.

That brought on the discomfort I'd been looking for.

And yet, when trying to determine just how attracted I might be to the equine form, and why, it felt like such a silly hangup to be concerned over the sex of my subject. Maybe. I didn't really know. Maybe because it wouldn't be the same if I tried to sneak a peek.

A shudder rippled through me at the thought.

I did like the way he moved, though, flowing from form to form, muscles and lines shifting fluidly. I just wasn't interested in him, which did make me feel oddly better. A minute more of thinking about it yielded no more answers than I'd already had. Though I liked the overall shape and motion, up close like this Smokey was just a horse.

Maybe it was more that I was interested in an ideal. An ideal that only pulled specific elements from the equine form. Something that wasn't human or horse but could, in a certain light, be related to both. It was a fanciful thing that was impossible.

But now there was this woman next to me. A pony in human's clothing.

Which led me into imagining her rearing up as a pony to lean her forehooves on the fence similarly to how she was now...

I shook my head.

The image gave me an idea though, strange as it was. But first I made sure Claire was safely on the other side of the arena.

"So," I began, holding up a fist tilted thumb-first toward Etherea. "On this momentous day ponykind has successfully made contact with equine-kind. How does it feel, Princess?"

"What is this for?" Her lips pursed as she pondered my gesture.

Of course she wouldn't get it - ponies didn't have hands! Yet despite rising embarrassment I kept mine out to her.

"It's supposed to be like I'm holding a microphone. Y'know, like for an interview." Yeah, dumb. I know.

"Oh!" Her hand darted out, laying across my wrist to stop me from retracting. The grin that bloomed on her face made any embarrassment completely worth it. "I get it. Alright. Well, I cannot... speak in any official capacity, but personally I... am quite excited. After some minor initial... difficulties, friendly avenues of communication were established." She swept a hand out toward Claire and Smokey. "I foresee a bright friendship... between our two, um... peoples?" I nodded in response. "Just think about all that we can learn from and... about each other."

"Like, how to talk and to read?"

She snorted out a giggle. "I cannot imagine Equestria attempting such a thing."

A glorious image popped into my head. "Just imagine the princesses trying to carry on a serious conversation with one of these horses and getting upset because the horse just doesn't get it."

Etherea gave me a look. The kind of piercing look that makes you go back and try to figure out what you just fucked up. I guess I had done some serious alluding about the character of the princesses there, and-

She snorted, her cheeks blowing out comically as she failed to choke back whatever was coming. Soothing relief washed over me as she, and then I, were overcome with peals laughter. And for one perfect moment they rang out loud enough to catch Claire's attention.

Etherea waved to Claire as she and I lapsed into a companionable silence, receiving one in return. Good for her!

We settled back to the whole lot of nothing we'd previously been doing, the occasional quiet snort from one playing off the other, marking each time she or I revisited the previous thought. Yet unlike my eyes, Etherea's never left the horse across the way. I actually spent some time marveling at just how enraptured she was. Throw something new in front of her and watch her, well...

I looked back at Smokey and Claire as they curved around to head our way.

"You want one of your own, don't you?"

Etherea's head whipped around. "I want a what? A horse?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

"What would I ever do with a horse?" One eyebrow drifted up her forehead.

I had to think about that for a second. "I'm sure we could rig up some kind of saddle system so you could take... horsey-back rides." Yeah, princess, chew on that!

She burst into laughter again.

I'd like to say 'just as planned' but I was really just flying by the seat of my pants here. "You seemed to like running last night. You could probably spend all kinds of time chasing each other around."

Her laughter reached full throttle.

"Jumping, playing... Ooh! Rolling in the grass together! Sounds like fun to me." My own grin was probably reaching epic levels of goofiness. "And just imagine; dress it up in armor and have it play one of your guards. Something that big in armor would definitely intimidate away any annoying noble."

Doubled over against the fence, helpless as her body was wracked over and over, her arm went to cradle her stomach. "S-st... St-sto... P," she managed to squeak out. "I get it! I-I get...!"

Fine, I could give her a reprieve. Just this once.

She finally managed to take a breath. "Yes, it could be... be entertaining to own one. I even know a few nobles I might try that on." With some effort she managed to get herself under control and looked up at me, her violet eyes still twinkling. "It would still be an animal though. Having my 'guard' leaving messes everywhere? Eugh!"

That made me blink. Had she just made a poop joke? Her face scrunched up and she bared her tongue in disgust so, no, she hadn't. Not intentionally, at least. I still chuckled but it was also in my best interests to let the issue drop.

One last deep breath to collect herself and she began to say something. Instead her mouth kept opening, seamlessly shifting into a yawn large enough for me to count her molars. Those were definitely not human teeth in there - like miniature, scrunched-together flat-top horse chompers. We could not have anyone looking in there.

Fortunately Claire wasn't nearly close enough.

"Wow. The late night and early morning are really catching up to me."

I dismissed my other thoughts and just nodded. "I understand. Do we need to get you back home?"

She shook her head lightly but said, "Soon. Not quite yet though."

Again, I understood. It was still too exciting to be watching a real, live horse, well, simply being a horse. So we went back to it, this time with smiles on both our faces. Yes, I checked. Though her yawns became a sporadic feature.

During one pass Claire even commented about us appearing to be having a good time. Like any good business owner she jumped at the chance to stop nearby and explain some things about giving us lessons. Features, benefits, and the low, low cost, of course.

Smokey took the presented opportunity and leaned forward. With his back legs stretched out he lifted his tail, dropped his penis, and began soaking the ground.

My eyes went straight to Etherea. She was still leaning over the fence, though every line of her body was underlain with rigidity, her eyes fixed on one thing. Claire kept going for a whole ten seconds before she noticed and I spent that long, awkward moment frozen, trying to come up with any kind of good response.

I was debating the effects of a hand on her shoulder when Claire jumped in.

"Stare too long and he might take exception." Both Etherea and I looked up at Claire, who was leaning back a bit and smirking. "They do this every now and again, you know. He'll finish when he's good..."

He did, shifting and then stepping forward past the puddle.

"See. All done."

"I should go."

The seriousness in Etherea's tone hit home like a ton of bricks. I was standing next to a pony holding a self-polymorph spell through sheer willpower. She could be a moment away from reverting! Fuck!

"Alright. Um, sorry Claire, we uh... We gotta' go."

"Just like that? It was a joke."

I shrugged helplessly as I turned to follow Etherea, who was already picking her way away. Claire's growing frown left me feeling particularly like an ass. After all, we'd showed up on their day off, co-opted a bunch of their time, and were now just skipping out seemingly on a whim. There was nothing for it though. Not if Etherea had a problem with her spell.

"Well, you two take care then. Austin's got cards in the house for you, if you'd like."

"Thanks!" I called over my shoulder as I caught up with my errant companion. A companion whose features were tight with apparent anger, not fear.

"What's going on?" I offered my arm.

She took it and as she let out a breath, her eyes meeting mine she relaxed. A little.

"I just could not..." A frustrated groan followed and she shook herself once before looking down at the ground ahead of her. "You do not have to stop watching if you would like to. I understand it is different here, but I just... did not appreciate her, um, flippancy and needed a... moment to let the situation pass."

That's it? That? I sighed. "I kinda' thought you might be losing control of your spell."

A jerk and a blink brought her wide eyes up and back to me. "You...! Oh. No. I suppose that is a reasonable fear. You could not have... known. I am sorry for that... and will simply wait by your vehicle for... if you want to go back."

I thought about it for all of a second. Realistically, I just didn't feel like it. "Nah. It's a bit late for that now."

"Oh."

She just accepted it, which was weird. Another yawn might have had something to do with it. It made the short walk my car rather quiet though. I helped her to her door but she paused before getting in, her eye growing distant as they flicked past me. I guess she was looking at Daisy who was in her window looking out.

"Thank you, Alex, for doing this."

When I turned back Etherea was looking me right in the eyes, a small smile on her face. Then she was leaning forward, her face closing in fast.

Alex, she's a pony!

I took a step back. It was the first thing that crossed my mind. Not that her aim was particularly good; her shoulder bumped mine and kept her at a distance.

"What...?" She took a step back, eyes searching mine frantically as her brow pinched. "I just wanted to try a human nuzzle to thank you."

The minor embarrassment I had over the random intimacy was redoubled several times over as I worked through the multiple misunderstandings. She really was going to be the death of me if this kind of thing kept up. So I blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Humans don't really nuzzle." Wait. Backtrack that. "I mean... We talked about that. You remember, right?" Not really any better but she nodded, the gears in her head beginning to turn.

"It, uh, it looked like you were going to try..."

I didn't need to finish because she'd finally caught up, going bright red.

It was her turn to blurt, "I did not mean to!"

"I know, I know! It's just... I didn't think you intended to seem so, um, intimate." Matching blushes for the win!

Her hand came up, cradling her forehead and masking her eyes. "Ugh. No. That was a failure on my part. I know you are not as casual... about such gestures as ponies. I must be more tired than I thought."

"It's alright."

I tried to help her as she went to sit but she waved me off, apparently determined to do it on her own. It meant watching as she very awkwardly sort of fell butt-first into the the seat, but at least it worked. I ended up taking Claire's suggestion and retrieved a card from a slightly less grumpy Austin in the house, though I wasn't sure why. To be nice I suppose - I was just that kind of guy. Plus forty five dollars a lesson wasn't too bad if it came down to it.

The ride home was initially a pretty quiet affair. Lingering traces of embarrassment led me into a mental review of the day's events so far, trying to take a moment to regroup and recoup. Its helpfulness was questionable when the most prominent thing was worry over the near miss nuzzle - not a kiss, no matter how it might have seemed from my end. Had I handled it correctly? Had I been too quick to step away? Would it have been better to just let it happen?

All this worry over my unresolved issues of attraction. Shouldn't the whole first contact situation be my primary concern?

I couldn't help it, nor could I force it; it felt like a mistake for having flinched away when I maybe shouldn't have. What it really came down to was that it probably wouldn't be good for her to get too intimate with me. Coltfriends, physical dangers - even as unlikely as they seemed - whether she was actually interested...

Oh, and whether it was even prudent given her current situation. It was as much for her benefit as mine. I was pretty sure. So it had been the right thing, right?

Even with the whole nuzzle mess, and the other minor issues, the day still felt like a huge success. Etherea had had a good time and seemed to be silently enjoying herself even now, leaning her head against the window and watching fields, patches of forest, and the other cars slide by. A thread of happiness wormed its way up through me, warming from the inside out.

Her fingers kept aimlessly toying with her skirt though. And there was more than just distantness to her expression.

"A bit for your thoughts."

That got an eye flick. "A 'bit?'"

Crap. That might not be right. "Equestrian currency?"

"Oh. From the show. I think you mean a Kyin. So, ne Kyin shria sera piaeth?" A telling sigh was not at all what I expected. "I am just thinking... about everypony at home again. I miss them and hope they are not worrying too much. I know my parents are though, and I... cannot do anything about it."

Talk about a kick to the gut. My heart leapt with a sudden need to comfort her. Somehow.

"And the Harmony I expended this morning... It was far, far too much." She turned, sad eyes seeking mine. But they brightened a bit as they did so. "But I had to take advantage of... the situation while I had the opportunity. You understand, don't you?"

I pondered it for a moment, though the answer was never really in question. "Mmhmm."

"Well, if your actions in this situation ever... come into question, I will happily vouch for you after putting up with me. You have done so much, and I am..." She giggled, turning back to the road. "I am rambling. But I mean what I say."

"I am sure everything will turn out fine." Cheesy, but it seemed appropriate. "With your family and everything." Now that was laying it a bit thick.

She eyed me again, her mouth opening. "Heh. Thank you, Alex." I could tell that hadn't been her first thought. "You are a good friend."

Friendzoned. But yeah, I should be happy since it was what I'd been going for.

For a few minutes we both returned to our thoughts, just enjoying the ride, when my stomach complained. Nothing loud - thank goodness! - just a small, 'poky' feeling of want. It had been a few hours since we'd eaten.

With food now on the brain I realized that we still didn't have much in the way of properly princessly fare. I'd been buying day by day so far, which meant currently we only had leftovers and bachelor chow. And a couple of uneaten tulips.

We were going to need a serious food conversation in the near future.

Now, I was willing to cook - surprisingly so if Etherea would be eating...

Good. Another sign of my growing attraction.

But that aside, I was used to a more carnivorous diet and wasn't thrilled with the idea of being persistently vegetarian. I'd just been avoiding it for Etherea's benefit. And she'd become a lot calmer over the past couple of days, showing a lot of trust in me - like with the jet earlier.

My mind latched onto the possibility, attacking all the possible scenarios with a vengeance. Thankfully driving wasn't hard. The more I thought about it, the less likely it seemed she'd be outright hostile. Still, it was worth being very cautious and very clear exactly what we ate - a little risky perhaps, but with her calm it didn't seem impossible.

Maybe something that easy to do both ways...

Spaghetti! If she really objected then I could do just meatless. And I liked spaghetti either way.

A glance at Etherea showed her still placidly watching the scenery, solidifying the idea in my head. Changing our destination didn't bother her in the slightest, and she even preferred waiting in the car to people watch. She really was exhausted.

Perfect. That meant I was able to run into the grocery store and retrieve what I needed unquestioned. I still wasn't sure how badly I was tempting fate, and I wasn't so stupid as to find out in public.

Nervous tension dominated as we finished heading home, the food stashed safely in the trunk and well away from Etherea. We had to park farther away than I would have liked - it looked like every single resident was in for Sunday dinner.

I was going to help Etherea out but hey, look at that, my boss had sent me a text. What a surprise! Was I still good for work tomorrow? I wasn't exactly thrilled about going back to work again but life - and jobs - happened regardless. Plus Craig would be around for most of the afternoon if she needed him, so I quickly fired off an affirmative to quell my boss' nerves.

"Alex."

She was already standing between her open door and the car's frame, smiling at me with one hand on the roof.

"I can manage. You only need worry about bringing in the food."

That took a second to process. "Alright." It's not like I could really respond otherwise.

She even started off ahead of me, heading down the sidewalk with her hands held out for balance, a shoe in each one. As awkward as she was I couldn't help but watch. Slim and distinctly feminine, skirt swishing around her long legs. She just had to make the whole thing extra adorable by giggling now and again as her flip flops slapped the bottoms of her feet.

It was a shame about the touches of dirt that remained on her butt.

A faint smile lingered as she held the door until I could catch it. When she moved into the apartment I got a good look at Craig on the couch, flannel shirt open to expose another wife-beater. He'd pulled the end table in front of the couch and was hunched over it, a half-chewed pencil resting in one hand. Papers were scattered before him like fallen leaves.

His eyes though... there was a flicker my way but he was tracking every single move Etherea made. This, of course, wasn't lost on her.

"Better, huh?"

"Uh, yeah." His eyes lingered on mine for a much longer moment.

Yeah, Craig, I know. She's hot.

"Weird as... Um. Still kinda' weird to see you, um, not pony."

She laughed crisply. "I know. Not for much longer since this is... really wearing me out. I just want to try a shower before I change back. We need them anyway."

Oh, thanks a million princess! Craig sniggered as I mentally slapped my forehead. Maybe I could escape with some shred of my dignity if I just turned around and walked right back out.

She and he talked about his day for a minute while I did my best to put away the groceries without tripping over Dimble. And keep the groceries out of her sight too. I needed to do the big reveal properly - gently - to minimize any negative fallout. If worst came to worst then hopefully at least all my walking on eggshells would be appreciated.

Etherea disappeared while I was trying to convince Dimble it was still too early for dinner, no matter that I'd just come home. So with a glass of iced tea I went to see what Craig was working on. Notes, certainly. I poked one as I heard the shower start up.

"So..."

That's as far as I got before Craig leaned back, laced his fingers behind his head, and looked up. His eyes pointedly directed me to the wall separating us from the bathroom.

"Dude..."

I took a sip. "I know..."

He sat up again, throwing his hands out. "Dude!"

"I know!"

"Dude."

"I know." I nodded.

A long silence stretched, framed by the distant sound of falling water. And a faint laugh. Oh God, the images of what she could be doing with that new human body-

"Jesus, Alex. If you're not going in there, I totally am."

My everything seized up in shock. "Oh, the fuck you will! She's still an alien who can kick both our asses with a thought!"

He settled back against the couch, holding his gut and shaking in uncontrollable mirth. Fuck! Yeah, okay, I'd walked face-first into some classic Craig.

A hitch interrupted him, giving him a chance to breathe. "S-Sorry, man. You... You just jumped so fast to defend her... her honor."

I plopped down beside him and popped him in the shoulder with a fist. His flinch was so satisfying. Even more so when he rubbed it and commented under his breath about both shoulders now. But he totally deserved it!

"It's not honor. It's me not wanting to get my ass beat. Or yours." Now that was a good save!

He just nodded, going back to watching the TV. It was a comfortable silence that lasted a moment.

"Y'know man, if it doesn't work out..."

I raised an eyebrow when he looked over.

"Well... What I mean is if the whole pony world thing doesn't work then you should totally, um..."

I guess my growing glower was more powerful than I thought because he fidgeting on his cushion.

"Look, she'll need someone, right? And you're in like every science fiction nerd's wet dream, right? Y’know, with the alien princess thing. It works for both of you. I'm just saying."

Well, I...

My brain split two ways, waging an unwinnable tug of war against itself. Yes, if she lost everything I'd do whatever I could to help her get back up. And, yes, that could, maybe, include a deeper relationship. I guess. But most of those fantasies - and they were fantasies - included a princess that at least looked mostly human under normal circumstances.

"She's still a pony."

"Didn't you already agree that pussy's pussy?"

It was impossible to decide whether I was more angry or embarrassed by that. So I settled on the next best thing.

"You're a dumb fucktard, you know that?" Insults. Gotta' love them.

"Didn't some famous chinese dude once say you should listen to the dumbest people 'cause they still probably know more than you."

I had to spend a minute processing that one. "I don't think anyone has said that. Ever. Good try though."

He just laughed, of course. He also went right back to watching the TV, hunching over his... whatever it was that he was doing. I still had no idea what it was - mostly just twiddling his pencil while watching yet another sports report, it seemed - but he was apparently determined. It wasn't really worth the effort to ask him to explain and I was more than happy to simply relax and zone out on the TV.

As undecided as I was regarding, well, nearly everything about Etherea, I liked the warm fuzzies left over from today. Sure, the whole bit with Cassie had sucked, but the rest had been pretty good. Etherea had gotten some out and about time, seen human society in action, actually met a few people, and apparently had at least some fun.

I chuckled and let myself just enjoy the feeling.

Soon enough the shower shut off. A short bit later a door opened.

"If it means saving so much time drying... off I may actually prefer not having a full coat," Etherea called cheerfully as she approached the living area.

I realized the cliche situational possibilities just before she stepped into view, tensing preemptively. She at least had her skirt on. And a thin, pink bra covering petite breasts. She wasn't actually indecent. But with a completely bare toned midrift - if I could design my body I'd give myself one too - combined with damp, slicked down hair and the towel draped around her shoulders she was just... inviting.

It was a damned good look! I also knew it wasn't what she was going for.

"I must say that it... is interesting being so sensitive all ov..." She finally noticed us staring and blinked widening eyes. "What? Is something wrong?" Down she looked. "I covered everything like the other human, um, women."

I sensed Craig's looking at me, finding his lips pursed but frozen like he'd been about to whistle.

Yeah, okay. My face was heating up riotously but I could do this.

"You remember what I said about showing off?" I made a vague motion toward her while keeping my eyes firmly above her shoulders.

That did it. Her gasp ended as a squeak and she disappeared back down the hall.

The way she ran kicked over my sympathy but I was still too busy trying not to join Craig in laughing to do anything. I mean, as embarrassing as the entire thing had been, her reaction was just too much.

Even after we finally finished and we got back to watching the TV there was still no Etherea. I couldn't be sure how long it took to notice; minutes surely. It shouldn't take that long to put on her shirt, even if it was her. Had she been that badly shocked?

"Etherea?" I first called from the couch.

The lack of an answer led me to get up. Was it really that bad? It couldn't be. Not for the... mare who'd teased me despite worrying over my reaction. I shrugged at Craig from halfway across the living area as he watched with lightly creased brows.

The hallway held no secrets. The open bathroom door...

No, none there either; the light was out.

"Etherea?"

"A moment, Alex." Her voice slipped softly from behind my closed bedroom door.

Well, at least that answered that. Why had she-?

The door creaked and shifted out of sight. A golden-colored head emerged, framed from the other side by a long cascade of blue-on-blue hair. Large, non-human violet eyes sought me out from the other end of a slim muzzle.

Oh.

"It was simply easier this way," she explained as she stepped into view. Hearing her normal voice was weird again after a whole day without her other subtle tone. "I was not going to hold... the spell for much longer anyway and this allowed me to regain proper modesty."

Feeling much better about everything, and a bit emboldened, I couldn't help pointing to her flank. "Now you're even more naked though."

She gasped, recoiling as her eyes flared. Both wings whipped forward and she covered herself from chin to hocks behind a double fan of feathers.

And to finish it off she yawned wide enough that I swear I could see her tonsils.

Did ponies have tonsils?

I couldn't hold it and burst into laughter. She joined in as soon as her jaw released its hold on her face, shaking heartily as she folded her wings away.

"Yes. Yes. I am quite exposed. That would not be a problem if you humans would simply... be sensible and, um, accede to pony ideals of modesty."

Woah, more big words. I could get used to this.

"Actually, Alex, and this is completely unrelated-" Thanks for the warning? "-I was thinking in the shower and began... wondering what exactly you knew about the... The one, I guess, who introduced Equosar... the pony language, that is, to your world. I know you mentioned it once, but after... everything else I cannot remember exactly what you said."

And now I really was thankful for the warning because it had allowed me to prepare for another derailment. "Well, um, nothing really. It was just someone using the screen name Azuremare, or something. It was actually quite some time ago and there didn't seem to be much, if any, information left."

"Hmmmmm." She frowned and looked to one side. "I know we still have much to discuss, especially with regard... to what to do about myself," the breath she took before looking up brought me another surge of sympathy, "but this particularly bothers me at the moment. Would you be able to show me what... you found?"

"Yeah, okay." I wanted to talk to her anyway, since this could give me the opening I'd need to bring up the idea of meat for dinner.

I stepped backward to wave off Craig and show him that things were fine. He wasn't paying any attention; he probably already knew.

When I entered my room I couldn't help noting two things. The first was that Etherea had folded her skirt and placed it neatly atop my nightstand, and prominently on top of that were her former undergarments. Better than stashing them in my dresser I supposed, even if it felt strange for them to be in the open like that.

The second was that I hadn't folded my laundry from yesterday and it was still in my duffel where Craig had dropped it. I'd have to get that. Later though.

It took a little work to find the translator again because I hadn't initially considered that 'Equestrian language' could turn up as many hits as it did. Lots of people were interested but pretty much everything was just bronies asking about and discussing the possibilities of a fan-made one.

If only they'd thought to dig into ancient internet history.

We couldn't pass up the opportunity to test a few random sentences even if it was just from English to Equosar. I didn't want to spend a lot of time trying to copy and organize the Equestrian alphabet - we could do that later. According to Etherea the translator itself was apparently pretty accurate.

Other than that there was precious little to show. The screen names of those involved meant nothing to Etherea and another search into AzureMare turned up nothing useful. Initially all the hits and vectors of azure-colored ponies had Etherea all excited but it only took a couple of followed links to dash that. Everything was clearly far too recent and had nothing to do with the translator.

The associated forum help link on the translator page led to an old, almost chat-style record that was recognizable as former forum content only by context. Usernames were clear by their separation and the nearby timestamps, all of which were just over a decade old - not a good sign. Most of the commentary was simply awe that someone had done something like this.

The one hope left was the email of BackgroundPony#1337. A couple minutes later I received a reply that the email address was not in service.

Of course.

"I don't know what to tell you," I said, leaning back and idly drumming my fingers on the rolling shelf that held my keyboard. "Any of the search links might be Azuremare but there are over two thousand of them. And that's assuming he or she kept the same name this entire time. It's just as likely that none of them are... well, them."

Etherea had been sitting quietly for a bit, just watching, but now her shoulders slumped as she firmly bit her lower lip.

"Sussuaehnen," she hissed after a bit. A blink followed before her eyes drifted to me. "Sorry. It is disappointing."

"Hmmm?"

"I was hoping there would be more."

I nodded, looking over at her. "Me too. There's still some hope I can hit on something with the other names from the help thing, or maybe by even spotting some of them together elsewhere. But it's really slim, I think."

She harrumphed. And then yawned again.

"Dinner will be in a little, will it not?"

According to my computer I hadn't been poking around for that long. "Yeah."

She got to her hooves, shaking out each one in turn. "I hope you don't mind but I would... like to take a short nap until then. Would you wake me when it is about time?" Her gaze somehow got more direct. "I will be more... than happy to help cook, if you want."

My mouth opened but I couldn't say anything as I hadn't finished sorting through how I could do the dinner reveal now. I didn't want to just blurt it and hope she would react well, but waiting until she was trying to help didn't seem like the best way to do it either.

"Etherea-"

She twitched and then flowed toward me! My damned seat stopped me from dodging again as golden yellow filled the left of my vision. The feeling of warm, soft hair and her cheek bone underneath nestled against the side of my face kept me sitting there rigidly. I couldn't quite figure things out for some reason.

And then she was pulling away.

"Hah! I knew I could get you, now that you are... at the perfect height. Thank you for another wonderful..."

My shock must have been plain in my expression because her ears folded away as she ducked back.

"Oh! Oh, I am sorry, Alex! I should have given you more warning. I really do need this nap."

Which, even if she was actually right about that, and as surprised as I was, was not the kind of turnaround I'd wanted to cause. "It's, um, it's fine. I'm fine. Really."

Oh, God, that was painful.

"Are you sure, you-"

I did the first distraction my haywire mind could think of as a worthy of her original gesture. My hand lashed out and a pointer finger landed on the end of her muzzle, pressed neatly between her nostrils. Nostrils which flared as she froze and went cross eyed.

For a second neither of us moved.

"Oh, um, boop." And with that I proved that I could not actually die from embarrassment.

I yanked my hand back to the relative safety of my chest. Following my hand's retreat also drew her eyes right back to me. We stared at each other for another long moment.

"Wha...? What was that for?"

I had just booped a Princess of an alien nation in response to some mild embarrassment. I couldn't even comprehend... What? Why? ...the fuck? I couldn't look at her anymore.

"I, um... It makes us even?"

"Heh. Are you sure you don't need the nap instead? That was..." Don't say it. Whatever 'it' is. "Different."

"Yeah..." Why the fuck had I booped her?! I wished I could just hide inside myself and never come out.

She shifted, moving away while giggling softly. I paid attention without actually looking at her - I just couldn't! - as she climbed onto my bed, disturbing Dimble who had infiltrated the room and made himself comfortable. He hopped away and gave her room to turn and face my way again. With a tiny wing fluff she tucked her legs underneath and settled onto the covers, her chin coming to rest on my pillow.

She wanted to take a nap! Shit! I needed-!

"You may stay and keep searching... if you want, Alex, I do not mind. I trust you." With one last mirth-filled giggle she let her eyelids fall shut. "Just wake me in time for dinner please."

"And yes, I am sure." She nodded without removing her chin from pillow-y resting place.

That hadn't been what I was going to say. Hell, I hadn't been about to say anything! No, I was more than happy continuing doing what I'd already been: silently not making a bigger ass of myself.

She gradually relaxed while I sat silently, her breathing easing into a slower, steady rhythm. Only once she was clearly out did I feel safe enough to lean over my desk and cradle my head in my hands, letting the accumulated shame wash over me. I'd booped her. Who the fuck does something like that? Especially with someone they're not that intimate with.

I would have said 'not me,' but...

Only once I was feeling more whole did I look up. Etherea's wings had spread out limply around her haunches, and she was letting out a soft almost-wheeze with every exhale. It was like even in her comatose state she was still too demure to truly snore.

Talk about cute.

And I was the creeper just sitting here watching.

I gave another thought to fleeing the room but, no, she'd given express permission. She was right too, this really was as good a time to poke around the web as any. Plus when it came to dinner time this way I was already here.

The problem was that I didn't know any way to really dig around the internet for such old information. Short using another search for "AzureMare" and scanning page descriptions to see whether it was paired with any of the forum record's other screen names I wasn't sure what I could actually do. A coder might be able to help, but I coded like bricks swam.

Some time later I cracked my knuckles and gave up. It was just annoying to keep smacking my head against that electronic wall. A few clicks later and I had World of Warcraft going again.

I should be doing something - anything - more productive but I wanted some quick fix entertainment. And after a round of greetings - and a couple surprised roundabout comments over me having had a girl online - I had it.

Friends, orcs and elves, pixelated combat, quests and magic items, oh my! Normalcy. It was good to forget for a while.

Somewhere between going through the usual quests, and my friends and I getting our butts handed to us in some open world player versus player, Dimble, who had taken to napping in the corner, shot to his paws. He occasionally scared himself awake so I was all set to laugh at him. He scampered over to the bed and wiggled his way under it.

That was strange.

A hint of movement near my door clued me in. The air just inside the door seemed to be shifting, warping outward around something I couldn't see. Like when Etherea had teleported in but much larger...

She was still conked out on the bed.

My entire body went cold as something slid into view from the midst of thin air. Silvery-blue, metallic, and seemingly articulated.

It landed on the carpet with barely a sound as more slipped through. It was a leg. In armor.

Ponies! I needed to wake Etherea! My mind was scrambling and gaining little ground. In my shock I was too strangled to shout and wake her.

I rose just as more emerged through the thin air over the leg. A muzzle, protected by a form-hugging nose guard, and a blue horn lit by an azure halo, protected by an ornate spiral of metal. The rest of the armored head followed while I completed my first step toward the bed, deep blue showed in the few gaps in the pony's armor. And a vibrant teal eye was focused on Etherea.

My motion was a mistake. I was taking the second step when the pony refocused as its long neck, also bearing ornate silvery plates along its length, slid through. There was just enough time to note a mane of various shades of midnight, sparkling from within and undulating under its own power as the head swung around and those eyes - slitted like a cat's - found me.

Princess Luna?

Her horn's halo flared. Nothing happened.

"Wait!" I threw my hands toward her as I skidded to a stop, trying to ward off-

There was a brighter blue flare across from me and a bout of vertigo as gravity went crazy.

Pain seared through my core as I was crushed from both before and behind, a riot of unidentifiable destruction piercing my ears. The agony of something very wrong low in my right side set me off but I couldn't so much as thrash to escape the pressures surrounding me. I couldn't even draw breath to release the cry roiling within me. Through narrowed slits the world was foggy and tinged azure.

Something white joined silver, then gold and more white. And violet, myriad voices calling out incomprehensibly - angrily.

Yellow shifted as white sped across. Light blossomed painfully enough to shut my eyes and then there were fewer colors.

More sounds. Some kind of distress that wasn't my pitiful attempts to voice or escape the stabbing pain.

And then the world narrowed. It wasn't gone, nor was the pain, but two teal slit-pupil eyes came into focus and became everything that mattered.

What had I been doing? I couldn't quite remember.

I didn't know what was going on! Nothing! I just wanted to get away! The pain... Something was wrong with my side.

But if I'd been doing nothing, then why was Luna doing this to me?

I didn't know! How could I? I mean, I wasn't ever going to hurt Etherea. I had to get Luna to know that! I'd swear on my life that it was true!

I didn't want to hurt anyone and wasn't out to get Etherea. Or any other pony for that matter! If I had to promise the Princess I'd never bother her ponies again I would! And not just to stop this pain; I meant it from the bottom of my heart! I hadn't wanted any of this!

Hell, I wouldn't even think of mentioning this entire thing to anyone else on Earth if she wanted. Equestria would be safe from humans until her ponies were good and ready! I'd carry this event with me to my grave if I had to! No one would ever know.

And if anyone did find out? I'd do everything I could to dissuade them from investigating too deeply. I wasn't sure how, but I was sure I would.

If that's what it took.

My tear-blurred world rushed back as those teal eyes left me. The pain rose in importance again but I still couldn't move, pressed as I was between a mostly unyielding surface and an unwavering force. I tried to croak out a plea but couldn't tell whether it worked - simply breathing was a struggle.

With only pain and the moving colored blurs for company I could have been there for an eternity.

Then freedom returned but there was nothing there with me and I crashed to the floor, drawing a breath even through the shock to cry out as fresh pain lanced through and around my side. Rolling to put my weight onto my left side was heavenly - it reduced the agony to merely a persistent throbbing.

I took a moment to gasp again and again. Luna had been here.

Etherea!

From my viewpoint on the floor I couldn't see anything on the bed.

Around me were assorted flinders and all sorts of gray and black bits and pieces as though something had shattered and been flung all over. A cord wandered out of sight to the left and there was a sloppily-cracked keyboard half not far away surrounded by a few stray keys.

That shouldn't be. My keyboard was in good shape. Wasn't it?

Strangely enough a shiny black slab rested nearby. My phone?

More movement across the room and I flinched as someone launched their self at me in a crawl. I blinked away some of the tear-based fuzz to find Craig right there. A hand landed on my shoulder.

No. No, I wasn't okay. Call someone.

I tried not to cry.

Fuck ponies. Fuck them all to hell.

Author's Notes:

So it begins...

Some of you may be worried - I know my prereader/editor was - but I have a very specific plan in place. I always intended Etherea to be rescued relatively quickly; Equestria is not stupid, nor is it incompetent. But don't worry, things have kicked into high gear and there will be a lot more pony before too long.

Speaking of my prereader, Seven Fates is now going over my work and helping me out. I suspect an inability to tolerate my the more advanced/esoteric grammatical errors. Go give him some love! Just, don't be surprised if it gets... weird.

Also, when Etherea asked this:

"Does everything in this world run on explosions?"

Seven's response was:

Sex doesn't... normally.

And finally, you may or may not notice I reworked the litter box scene from chapter 8 part 1. As I went through the ending of the scene with Smokey I realized that Etherea's aversion to "bathroom stuff" was less a personality quirk and more a crippling flaw. The strength of her original freak out to Dimble felt, to me, like she'd almost have to have a break down when confronted by Smokey.