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My Little Pony: Mischief of the Memes

by Neoniie

Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Troll Off!

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Chapter 2: Troll Off!

Chapter 2: Troll Off!

Twilight sighed, checking the mounted clock for what had to be the seventh time. It still read 7:32 AM, no matter how much the unicorn wished for it to change. With a huff of frustration, she turned away from the clock and looked out at the passing scenery of the Ponyville-Canterlot line. It was nothing new to the purple pony, but it distracted her from her impatience.

“Chill out, Twi,” Rainbow said with a laugh. Rarity gave her a stern look and mouthed the word 'tardy'. That quieted the pegasus' laughing tone.

The white unicorn trotted over to the distressed mare and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Looking at the clock isn't going to make time go faster, dear.”

“I know, Rarity,” Twilight answered, her words more of a sigh than a statement. “I just want to get to the bottom of this whole mess. That purple rift has got to be Discord's work and I'm going to prove it!” She stamped down her hoof with conviction as she declared this intention, all traces of moodiness suddenly vanishing.

It was then that Pinkie Pie burst into the room. “Guys, guys!” She darted over to Twilight, picking her up by the shoulders and plopping her down on the wooden floor of the train. The Bearer of the Element of Magic looked out in a daze, not focused on any particular point, until she snapped back to her senses. “Canterlot! We're almost there! Ohmigosh, this is so exciting! Do you remember last time we were here? With the celebrations and snow and I got to wear pudding! I didn't even know you could wear pudding before.” The pink bubble of energy abruptly stopped her monologue, staring intently forward with a frown on her face.

Her five friends looked on with concern, wondering what had prompted this sudden stop in her usually rambling speeches. In a shift as quick as the original, the frown vanished and Pinkie's omnipresent smile re-emerged. “And then there was the chimney!” Each pony smiled at the strangeness of their friend, but Twilight could see some deeper possibility in Pinkie's behaviour. The Rift had seemingly affected Pinkie the least, but these odd changes of emotion could be the beginnings of a concrete influence over the pink pony. It troubled Twilight to say the least.

However, the favourite student of the Princess couldn't help but be reabsorbed into their meandering conversation, leaving such thoughts for later. They whiled away the time together, stopping only when the train whistle blew and the train's wheels came to a screeching halt. Each pony stepped of the train with grace; Rainbow Dash taking to the air and Fluttershy hovering slightly on her way down being the only exceptions.

Canterlot was surprisingly quiet, its cobblestone streets completely deserted. The few ponies who were idling quickly dashed to their houses and locked to doors. “Well, they sure disappeared like zap apples after their season,” Applejack noted.

“Maybe they don't like visitors,” Fluttershy suggested in her softest of tones. Even the timid pegasus sounded loud in the abandoned streets of Canterlot. “I know that lots of birds get startled by sudden arrivals and, well, I do too...” She trailed off, turning her head away from her friends slightly.

“This is Canterlot and in all the years I lived here there was never a day on which there weren't at least fifty ponies outside. We've got to get to the bottom of this!” Twilight was once again purposeful, walking up and down the line of ponies like a drill sergeant.

“Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, fly up and see if you can find anypony out in the streets. Rarity and Applejack, try talking to one of the ponies in these houses. We need to find out what's happening here. Pinkie, you can come with me to the Sculpture Gardens. We'll meet at Discord's statue in one hour.”

“Right!” announced her friends in unison, splitting up to take on their tasks.




Pinkie Pie bounced beside her friend, still filled with that boundless energy despite the creepy atmosphere around the two. Twilight found the sight of an empty city quite the foreboding sight, and the Princesses' home doubly so. Ever since The Rift had appeared, strange occurrences had appeared all over Equestria, but Canterlot had always been safe from the strange sky-tear's influence. It made the Princess's student wonder what had changed in the grand city.

Her bouncing pink friend seemed rather undisturbed the events that surrounded them, humming a jolly tune and skipping through the streets. Her earlier bout of strange behaviour seemed to have all but vanished. Oddly, that thought did not soothe Twilight's worry in the slightest.

The thought of once again greeting the Spirit of Disharmony was not a pleasant one to the purple bearer of Magic. Their last encounter had resulted in the twisting of her friends, not unlike what had recently occurred with the interference of The Rift. The only logical conclusion was that it was the work of the draconequus. As she pondered this idea, Pinkie Pie stopped suddenly, causing Twilight to bump straight into her.

"Oh, sorry about that Twilight, but I saw the most awesome balloon statue in the Gardens! I didn't even know balloon statues existed. Ooh, we should get some for Ponyville! That would be sure to make everypony smile," the pink pony ranted, silenced only by her friend's hoof.

"It's fine Pinkie, no harm done. Now, let's find Discord." The purple mare had not noticed their arrival at the Gardens, having been deeply in thought while the two traversed the city. The rose bushes were in full bloom, accenting the grey of the statues vibrantly. She walked between a row of pegasi guard statues, each wearing a fearsome expression. At the every edge of the Gardens lay their objective. With her pink friend in tow, Twilight made her way to the edge of the green terrain and found herself face-to-stone with a familiar snarl.

"Lovely to see you again, Twilight," a voice gloated, echoing in the mind of the unicorn. She could nearly see the smug smile on the goat-like face of her enemy.

"Discord," she said, fury holding at the edge of her mind. Pinkie Pie trotted over, looking at her friend in confusion.

"Um...Twilight? Who are you talking to? Unless...it's a game! I know this one, I know this one. I have to say another word that starts with a 'D', right? Let's see, dragon! Or Derpy! Or Dizzy. Or-" the pink earth pony's voice ceased suddenly, staring up at her head with a confused expression. From what Twilight could gather, the being of chaos had addressed her as well.

"Now, enough with the pleasantries, let's get to why you're here. I'd guess it has to do with this beautiful chaos spread all across Equestria?" The unicorn's eyes narrowed, not trusting the sealed creature in the slightest.

"We turned you back into stone with the Elements of Harmony. How are you able to talk to us?" With a laugh, the draconequus' statue form actually seemed to shake with movement.

"Our purple sky rift helped me there. It seems to enjoy chaos just as much as I do. But, I know what you're going to ask. I didn't make this 'rift' or whatever your scientists are calling it. I merely am here to gain the benefits. Though, I must say, I do wish I had thought of it first." Twilight's first instinct was to call out the reality warper as a liar; he had done so before with Rainbow Dash. But, something gave her a feeling that he was indeed telling her the truth.

"Since, let's say that we believe you. What happened to Canterlot? You must have been involved in this." Another of those infernal laughs echoed through the psychic link.

"Oh, my poor deluded purple pony. This was not my work. No, no, this was done by-"




Rarity trotted beside the rough-and-tumble Applejack, delicately picking up her hooves as she moved forward. She sighed, already having thought of several better ways to spend one's time in Canterlot. The city of royalty and wealth was seeming rather drab without its usual affluent ponies trotting its streets. As much as the strange rift interested Twilight, she was making a killing in the sweaters business after Pinkie Pie used her odd form of persuasion.

Applejack sighed as well, finding her personality and Rarity's already creating friction. The orange mare was much more worried about the situation, since ponies rarely left any place quite so deserted. She did not hold Canterlot upon the pedestal that Rarity had placed it upon, not finding the city anything more than a fancy-do.

However, the two were united in their searching. It had proved fruitless so far, bringing a feeling of hopelessness over the pair of mares. They were quite close to merely turning tail and heading for the Gardens in the hope that their friends had found some clue, when a creak drew their attention.

It was a young foal, opening the door a tiny amount and peeking out at the streets. The green eyes fixed itself on the two Ponyville natives. The pupil pupil dilated, but returned to its normal size as the foal looked the two ponies over once more. The foal opened the door enough for a pony to fit through and called out as quietly as he could, "Come. Quickly!" With a quick glance at each other, the mares trotted to the door and entered the house within.

It was a large house when compared to the typical residence in Ponyville, but rather average in the city of Canterlot. A crystallized chandelier hang above the hallway that connected the doorway, the stairway, and the foyer that lay beyond the first couple of rooms. The foal led them into the living room, furnished with a keen eye and painted with matching colours.

A mare and stallion sat upon the couches that were placed against two adjacent walls of the room, speaking in hushed tones. As their son returned, they ceased talking quickly, turning to face him. A mirrored looks of shock appeared on the faces of the two Canterlot residents, but the moment faded quickly. They glanced at each other once and then gestured to the armchairs near the hearth. The white and orange mares took them without a word.

After they shooed their son upstairs, the mare began to speak. “We haven't had visitors to Canterlot in a while.”
Rarity looked at the mare with incredulity, “How can that be? Canterlot is the centre of modern Equestria! A deposit of culture and class!”

“Now, Rarity,” Applejack said, “let 'er finish.”

The mare gave a nod of thanks to the country pony and continued. “It has been a difficult time. Nopony had seen in coming, not even those closest to it. The Rift, it...changes ponies.”

The stallion cut in, seeing the distress of his mate mounting. “You see, this all happened because of -”




"C'mon Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash called impatiently, looping back to her timid friend. "We've got to hurry and find some answers for Twi!"

"It's not a competition, Rainbow," Fluttershy said quietly, flapping her wings a few times.

"I know, I know, but we've got to hurry! You've barely two feet off the ground." The rainbow mare was correct, causing the yellow pegasus to blush slightly in embarrassment. With a sigh, the stronger flier took her friend by the under-foreleg and lifted them both into the air.

"Oh, thank you Rainbow Dash. You're always looking out for me." Fluttershy spoke quietly, almost causing Rainbow Dash to mishear her words.

"Hey, that's what friends are for, right?" The mare gave a cocky smile and zoomed higher into the clouds, eliciting a squeak of fright from Fluttershy. The two soared through the greyed skies, Rainbow Dash resisting the urge to add a couple of flips and tricks to their flight.

"So, what are we looking for, Rainbow?" This thought caused Rainbow Dash to stop for a moment, wondering why she hadn't considered this before.

"I don't really know, Fluttershy. I guess we'll just have to wing it!" She laughed and returned to their previous speed of flight. They flew in a circular trajectory around the perimeter of Canterlot, slowly moving inwards in a spiral. Much like their counterparts on the ground, their search seemed to be giving none of the answers that they were seeking. However, once again like their counterparts, a chance encounter changed that deficit of fact.

A black pegasus flew desperately toward them, armour displaced and mane dishevelled. His eyes were wild, latching onto the duo of pegasi with both relief and worry. He flew toward them in a haphazard fashion, grabbing hold of Rainbow Dash's shoulders. "You must flee! It's not safe here."

"Woah, back up there big guy," Rainbow Dash said, flying under his grip and letting go of Fluttershy. The released pegasus held her place in the sky as her friend addressed the paranoid pegasus who had flown toward them. "What in the name of Celestia are you talking about?"

He visibly recoiled, eyes darting right and left before replying. "You have no idea what The Rift has done! It spells disaster for all of Equestria! It's her." His last word was a whisper, as though he was afraid of awakening some great beast.

"'Her'? 'Her' who?" Rainbow Dash asked, puzzlement on both her and her companion's muzzles.

"The most dangerous threat we may ever face. It's -"




"- your beloved Princess Celestia!" Twilight gasped, her eyes widening in disbelief and shock.

"No! You're lying, just trying to deceive us like you did in the maze," Twilight insisted, though she could already feel the truth of his words setting in.

"Oh, I am very much truthful, dear Twilight. If you don't believe me, just turn around," Discord said gleefully, his laughter echoing on and on before leaving the subconsciousness of both the unicorn and the earth pony. Twilight faced the terror of Canterlot slowly, her eyes still not believing what she saw. It was indeed her mentor and Princess, the familiar white alicorn whom she had known for as long as she could remember. The regal mare now had a sort of manic glee in her eyes, glancing down at her student with little sympathy.

"Princess! What happened to you?" Twilight exclaimed, shock paralysing her while even the party pony was at a loss for words.

"Oh, my faithful student," sighed the alicorn, the once affectionate title sounding more like a threat. "I just learned to embrace my love of trouble-making. Canterlot has become a much less dull place, hasn't it?" Twilight merely watched her mentor, finally understanding the strange lack of ponies in the streets.

"Princess, please tell me you haven't done anything to anypony," she nearly begged, searching desperately for any trace of the loving and kind ruler whom Celestia used to be.

''Done anything'? I've done more than anything. For 1,000 years I've had to put up with these pathetic beings, constantly needing my attention and nagging at my every power. No more! For they have all been punished for their insolence! The prison of my dear sister is empty no longer!" The Princess grinned, an unsettling expression of joy. "They called me 'tyrant' and 'troll' for my actions. Well, let's see what they think now! TO THE MOON with them!"

That seemed to be the final straw for Pinkie Pie, who took her friend by the foreleg and cantered off, trying to evade the alicorn. Twilight was still shocked, but could think enough to try to tell her friend something. "Pinkie! We need to go to the castle! Hopefully, Princess Luna can help us somehow!" The pink pony nodded, an unusual look of seriousness on her face. They turned, heading toward the castle.

Their friends met them at the marble steps of the castle, all having learned of Celestia's transformation and having come to the same conclusion. Twilight was grateful that they still supported her; that they were still free of The Rift's power. They burst through the doors of the castle, finding no other ponies within. "All of the guards must have left," Rainbow Dash said, remembering the grey pegasus who had warned them of Celestia.

"All right, we need to go to the West Tower," Twilight instructed, briefly remembering her mentor's mention of the old tower to be the living quarters of 'an old friend'. Her friends followed her without question, the threat of an alicorn's might having turned even the wisecracking Rainbow Dash and optimistic Pinkie Pie into serious ponies. It unnerved their purple friend, still reeling from Discord's revelation.

They once again burst into the tower, finding the blue alicorn who they sought. "Thank goodness," Twilight breathed, thankful that they still had a chance to revert Celestia. However, when Luna turned toward the six mares, they found their salvation to be out-of-order.

"I'm so sad and alone!" exclaimed the formerly-imprisoned mare. "You're the only one who understands me, Abacus!" The alicorn clutched an abacus to her chest, stroking the wooden panels slightly as she sobbed. The Elements of Harmony looked on with horror, wondering if they should comfort the alicorn or not. However, a loud crash came from the entrance hall, drawing the ponies to investigate.

The Princess and the newly freed draconequus were standing in the hall, both seemingly locked in some sort of chaotic battle. The alicorn was manipulating a game console that she had trapped the Spirit of Chaos within, having strange green, blocky beings explode and the sun itself chase after him. Discord responded in kind, transporting outside the video game and bringing in clouds of chocolate rain that spewed lightning. Twilight and her friends merely watched, not wanting to draw the ire of either of the nigh god-like beings.

The battle seemed to come to an impasse, with each side unsure of what to do next to their opponent. The two ancient beings glared at each other, struggling to think of their next move before the other could strike. With a snap of his fingers, a light surrounded Princess Celestia, causing her to vanish from the entrance hall. He smiled, seemingly the victor of their clash. "As dear Celestia would say, TO THE MOON!" He laughed again, an unceasing sound that still haunted the minds of the Elements. "It was quite kind of her to reanimate me. She wanted to see who was the 'best troll' in the land. Looks like I win."

Then, quite suddenly, the flash of light enveloped the draconequus as well. It sped him to their new battleground, the dark prison of the moon. With the two combatants out of the entrance hall, the six ponies were left to take in the events that had occurred. Each stood in silence, unsure of what to say.

"What are we going to do now?" Rainbow Dash asked. Her five friends didn't answer, no ideas coming to mind. They sat, flummoxed in silence, wondering how they could oppose such a force as this.

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