All of Equestria is united in celebration for the return of their beloved Princess Nightmare Moon. But when Celestia and everypony else recieve her she's skeletally starved, filthy, and very nearly dead. Meanwhile, while everypony's eye is turned, a lusty Blueblood pursues Twilight Sparkle, intent on adding her bloodline to his own so his family might step closer to godhood. (Alternate Universe, there never was a Princess Luna)