The God Particle

Chapter 37: Confessions of Alicorns & Humans

Celestia lifted the last shirt out of the bathtub, her horn glowing with a golden aura. In a matter of a few seconds, she had dried it using the magic of the solar flame itself. Finally, she folded it neatly and added it to the pile next to her before magically lifting the entire pile and floating it back into Eric's bedroom. Four hangers in the closet began to glow as she spread the pile out, hanging each shirt over one of the hangers.

Now that she had finished washing all of the clothes she had found on the floor, she looked around the room again. The bed was neatly made, and the floor was clean. All of the magazines that had been on the floor were now neatly placed on the bookshelf against the left wall.

She smiled to herself at the improvement, then stepped out into the main room of the apartment again, which she had already cleaned. It had not taken her very long at all given that she could perform several tasks at the same time using magic. The entire apartment was now as clean as her own private chambers back at the castle. Various objects cluttering the floor had been picked up and put away, the dishes in the kitchen had been washed, dried, and placed in the cupboards, and not a single piece of stray dirty laundry was to be found.

She frowned again, sighing to herself. Now, she wished she had paced herself better and taken more time to clean. With nothing to occupy her anymore, worry about Equestria flooded her entire mind, threatening to overwhelm her with emotion. The silence of the empty apartment only made her feel worse, for it made her think of barren wastelands, lifeless and empty. The complete absence of movement. Empty frozen tundra without a single living thing to break the quiet. No wind to whistle through the trees. No trees for the wind to whistle through even if there had been a breeze. No light, no sun, only death.

"No!" she said loudly, startling herself as her own voice broke the quiet of the apartment. She narrowed her eyes, stomping one forehoof on the floor angrily, the anger directed purely at herself. You can't think that way, she chastised herself. Luna and your Royal Council will find a solution. And if Luna has been compromised as well, then Twilight Sparkle will.

She looked around now, trying to find something else to occupy her mind. Scanning over the living room, her magenta eyes fell curiously on the coffee table, where she looked at a small, strange, rectangular box she had seen earlier when cleaning. The box seemed to be covered in a multitude of small buttons, arranged in a grid like pattern. Curiosity getting the better of her, she leaned her head down and touched one of them with her horn. Nothing happened. She frowned slightly, but then noticed the one in the upper right corner was a different color, and seemed to be set slightly apart from the others. She moved her horn towards that one and pressed it gently.

Suddenly, a terrifying sound of somepony … or some human, screaming filled the room. Startled, she jerked her head up, her eyes going wide. On the wall in front of her, through something that appeared to be a window, was a man wearing some type of strange mask. But worse than that, the man was carrying a large machete and appeared to be coming towards her.

"Stop!" she commanded in her most regal voice, lowering her head and pointing her horn at the man defensively. But the man seemed to completely ignore her. Quickly, she unleashed a spell, sending a golden burst of magic towards the man, intending to immobilize him. The burst of magic struck the window like object, spreading out to cover it. Then, the man was gone, the window like object going completely dark. Only the sound of her own breath and heartbeat broke the quiet.

She blinked in confusion. The magic was only supposed to immobilize the man. To force him to stop his advance. It wasn't supposed to make him completely disappear … along with everything else outside the window.

For a few more moments, she stared at the dark window on the wall. Then, cautiously, she leaned her head back down, pushing the same button on the small rectangular object.

Again, the room filled with sound. Once more, she jerked her head back up, seeing the man with the machete again. She stepped backwards, her eyes widening once more. Again, she prepared to unleash a spell at the man. But this time, she hesitated. Strangely, even though the man appeared to be walking towards her, he wasn't actually getting any closer to her. She pondered this for several moments, just watching the scene in front of her in the strange window. Then, suddenly, it switched entirely to something else, and the man with the machete was gone. Now, it showed the outside of some sort of building.

"Aha!" she said to herself as she remembered the small box with the moving pictures that Eric had shown her earlier, and the similar box that James had back in Equestria. "It's one of those. Only a much bigger one."

She smiled to herself at her inductive reasoning, then looked down at the strange box with the buttons again. Experimentally, she pressed a different button. This time, she noticed a strange, almost imperceptible energy field coming from the small box while she was holding the button down. The energy field was very weak indeed. A lesser skilled magician than herself would not have detected it at all. Again, the sound in the room changed, as did the image on the wall mounted device. Now, it showed the image of a man kicking a ball down a green field. Several other men were chasing after him, and he kicked the ball to another man. Suddenly, a whistle sounded, and all of the action stopped. Some type of sport, she surmised.

Her thoughts returned to the energy field the small button box had emitted. Quickly, she analyzed the pattern in her mind. Then, she pointed her horn at the device on the wall, and unleashed a barely perceptible spell at it. A spell so light, that her horn didn't even glow at all.

The spell had the intended effect, the image on the screen changing again to a man sitting behind a desk.

"Gotcha!" She smiled to herself again, rather proud of herself at having figured out how to make the device on the wall obey her command without using the small button box. But then, she winced as she listened to the words of the man on the screen and saw a picture of the sun behind him.

NASA has now confirmed that a temporary increase in the Earth's rotation speed was responsible for the early sunrise across parts of the United States this morning. But scientists remain baffled at this point as no cause for the increase in rotation speed has yet been found. However, officials continue to insist that there is no cause for alarm, and that the issue seems to be gradually correcting itself. FAA officials have determined that the event does not pose a hazard to aircraft and airports are slowly resuming normal operations. Travelers are advised to check with their airline regarding flight cancellations and delays.

She knew the look on her face must be one of sheepishness again, and she quickly launched another light spell at the device, changing the scene again as she decided she didn't want to watch the fallout of her mistake. Her ears perked up now as she listened and watched. What she was watching now, appeared to be some type of documentary on the history of The United States. She knew that was the country she was in from what James had told her about where he had lived before arriving in Equestria. She continued watching that for about an hour until it ended. Then, she pointed her horn at the screen once more, changing the channel again. Her jaw dropped in horror at what she saw.

Just then, she heard the sound of the door unlocking. Her ears swiveled towards it, her eyes leaving the screen in front of her. The door opened, and Eric stepped in, balancing two large boxes, one stacked on top of the other. He set the boxes down on the floor and blinked once, his eyes going wide.

"This is not my apartment," he said, stepping back out and looking at the outside of the door again. Then, he stepped back inside. "Okay … this is my apartment. Princess, did you … aww shit … Princess, that's not what it looks like," he said as his eyes seemed to land on the screen while one hand closed the door behind him.

Celestia returned her attention to the screen as well, still looking at it in horror. Two men stood inside an octagon shaped cage facing each other. One of them kicked at the other, the other blocking it and responding with a punch. Both of them were bleeding lightly from cuts above their eyes.

"Not what it looks like!" she responded incredulously. "There are two men inside a cage fighting each other!"

"Well, it's actually a sport, Princess," Eric responded in a nervous tone of voice. He raised a hand, rubbing the hair near his forehead lightly, his face scrunching slightly into a wince.

"A sport?" she said, her voice still having a tone of anger in it. "You call locking two men in a cage and making them fight each other … a sport?" she said, raising her voice.

"No, no. They aren't locked in the cage. And well … they're athletes. They want to do it. And they aren't fighting out of anger for each other. It's a competition. Most of them actually get along with each other. And there's lots of rules in place to ensure they don't get seriously hurt." He still sounded bewildered, and somewhat nervous.

"Why would any human want to do that?" She was not at all convinced.

"I'm not … well, don't you have combat sports where you're from, Princess?"

"Yes, but light contact only. None where the competitors actually try to hurt each other."

She watched as Eric sighed, raising a hand and rubbing his forehead again. He was silent for several moments before responding. "Look, Princess … I'm not a fan of the sport. And I can't really speak for why they would want to do something like that. But I do know that despite what it looks like, they actually do have a good safety record, and serious injuries are rare because of the rules in place to prevent them. Can we … can we move on to another topic please?"

She remained unconvinced. She simply couldn't understand why anyone would want to do what the men on the screen were doing. Nor could she understand why the law would allow it even if they did want to do it. But it was obvious the discussion was making Eric uncomfortable. And that was the last thing she wanted to do, given he was gracious enough to allow her to stay here and was trying to help her. She nodded her head slightly, then pointed her horn at the screen again, the television turning off in response to her magical command.

Eric blinked, but then shook his head slightly. "Alright, you can explain that one to me later too … You … you cleaned my apartment, Princess?"

She nodded in response. "I thought it was the least I could do. Given everything you are doing for me," she said, her voice returning to a normal level, taking on her usual kind and compassionate tone again.

"Wow … thank you. I wasn't expecting … well, I mean I should be the one … Never mind. I brought some food back. I wasn't sure what you eat, but I mostly brought fruits, vegetables, bagels, some other breads. I also bought several different kinds of tea … I hope it's not just a stereotype that royalty drinks tea. And I already have coffee here. Normally, I just grab fast food myself, but I uh … doubt there's anything from the fast food restaurants that you'd eat. And I think dining out is out of the question.

She nodded in response, smiling reassuringly as he fumbled over his words. It was obvious he was a bit flabbergasted at having royalty in his apartment, even if she wasn't human and was from a different dimension, or universe. "I don't want to impose, Eric. I don't eat meat, of course, but whatever else you have is fine."

He seemed to breath a slight sigh of relief, than walked into the living room and sat down on one of the chairs across from where she was seated. "So … did you watch anything else interesting, Princess?"

"I watched a documentary about the history of your nation. It was fascinating … I couldn't help but notice that your society seems to be rather male dominated."

He fidgeted a bit, appearing nervous again. "Well … it used to be. But we have made a lot of progress towards gender equality … There's still room for improvement though, I admit."

She only nodded in response, and Eric looked at the floor for a moment before looking back up at her and speaking again, this time in a slightly more confident tone.

"With all due respect, Princess … couldn't the same thing be said about Equestria? Only in reverse? I mean you have two female monarchs who have maintained near absolute ruling authority for well over a thousand years. And it doesn't seem like that is likely to ever change."

She nodded. A valid point, she had to admit, even though it was also true that the overwhelming majority of ponies did not want that to change. She pondered for a moment before responding. "That is a valid observation. But the system works, and very few ponies actually want it to change. And we do have gender equality in government. My Royal Council is made up of both females and males, including James."

"And what about other areas of society?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, in all official matters, we have gender equality. But chivalry is a deeply held cultural value in Equestrian society. And in social situations, males are expected to defer to females."

"Uh huh. And can you provide some examples?" His tone seemed to be genuinely curious rather than accusing.

"Of course. When a mare and stallion go out to dinner, the stallion is expected to let the mare choose the place. When a mare and a stallion dance, the stallion is expected to let the mare choose whether she wants to lead or follow. And if a mare asks a stallion to dance, it's considered extremely rude for the stallion to refuse. But if a stallion asks a mare to dance, she can refuse, and no rudeness is implied."

He nodded and seemed to have an amused expression his face now. "And how has James, as a male, adapted to this?"

"Very well actually. It seems he's adapted very well to what is socially and culturally expected of him. Your species is very adaptable, Eric. If James is any indication," she responded.

He chuckled briefly at that, but then his expression turned serious and he looked directly at her. He seemed to hesitate for a few moments before speaking again. When he did, it was in a more serious tone.

"Your Majesty … I need to ask you the obvious question."

"I'm listening," she responded slowly. It wasn't lost on her that he had switched to calling her by a more regal and majestic title. That made her slightly nervous. Combined with his more serious look, she suspected it meant the conversation was about to turn uncomfortable.

"Well, the fact that you are here means it's obviously possible to send living beings from your world to here … Why didn't you allow James to come home, Your Majesty?"

She sighed and lowered her head towards the floor, he ears drooping slightly. It was the question she had expected, and the one she had feared. She really didn't want to answer it. But, Eric was James' best friend in this world. She owed him an answer. He deserved that much. She looked back up, knowing her eyes were filled with sadness, and responded in a soft, compassionate voice.

"When he first arrived in Equestria, we didn't think it was possible to send him home. We didn't know where he was from, and he didn't know how he had gotten there. And we thought there was simply no way we could possibly get him home without killing him in the process of trying. Eventually, my student, Twilight Sparkle, found a way to open a portal to your world. I hadn't known she was working on it, and it took her over a year of research and experimenting to make it work … By that time, we already knew that James was going to play a very important role in saving Equestria from the threat we now face … And I could no longer allow him to return home. It is a decision I deeply regret having to make. But it is the only one I could make in order to save my own world. I'm deeply sorry, Eric. If it's any comfort, James insists he is very happy in Equestria, and that he is alright with having to stay there."

The human across from her nodded once in response, then paused for a few long moments before responding. "Do you believe him?"

She nodded once. "Yes, I do. Absolute mutual trust is the most important bond that I have with my Council members. There are a lot of restrictions that Council members must follow. But I don't even allow my Royal Guards to question Council members. The only thing enforcing those restrictions is that I have complete trust in my Council members to follow them. I trust James completely. I know he would not lie to me. Not even to make me feel better about a decision I wish I had not had to make."

She thought to herself now. It was true that she could not let him come home now. But now that she was here, stuck in his world, she truly started to appreciate what it must have been like for James when he first arrived in Equestria. Only it must have been even worse for him. She, at least knew something of what to expect because she had the benefit of talking to James about his world before she arrived here. Furthermore, she had the benefit of a friendly human who already knew who she was finding her and taking her in. When James had first arrived in Equestria, he had no idea who or what they were, and they had no idea who or what he was. He had been arrested, imprisoned, and then had to start his life from scratch. It's true that he was on the Council now, and that was a life-long commitment. But was she not a monarch of Equestria? Co-ruler who had the power to do the right thing, even if it went against more than a thousand years of tradition? She came back out of her thoughts and looked back at Eric now, who was still looking at her in silence. In that moment, she made up her mind, and spoke again.

"You have my word, Eric, that when this crisis is over, I will ask him again if he wishes to return home. And if he does, I will allow him to do so. But I will not force him to leave if he tells me he wants to stay in Equestria."

The human seemed to ponder that for a moment, but then nodded acceptingly. "Fair enough, Your Majesty … Well, I guess we may as well have breakfast, and then get started on seeing if we can find a way to send you back home."

With that, he stood up and walked over to the boxes he had carried in with him, picking one up and carrying it into the kitchen. He returned a few seconds later and opened the second one, from which he started removing several large, gray rectangular objects. On the back, they appeared to have some type of connector for plugging into something, although she was not sure what.

"These are the RAID arrays from the lab. They are basically high capacity data recorders. They recorded everything that happened in the accelerator that night, right up until the point the detectors stopped working. If there's anything to find, it will be recorded somewhere on one of these boxes."

Then, she watched as he went back into the kitchen, and started to make some breakfast for the two of them.

...

James and Twilight sat in silence, the chariot continuing its long flight back to Canterlot. Spike was curled up in the far left corner on the floor across from James. Somehow, the young dragon had managed to fall asleep despite the circumstances and what he had just been through. The poor kid is probably traumatized to the point of exhaustion, James thought to himself, frowning. For several more minutes, the silence continued as the flight droned on through the cold night. It was Twilight that finally broke the quiet.

"James … Why did you join the Royal Council?"

He sighed and looked across the isle at her. "Twilight … I don't want to talk about this … Not now."

"If you hadn't joined the Council, you could have gone home, James," she responded in a troubled but stern voice, seemingly undeterred.

"No, Twilight, I couldn't have," he responded in frustration. "Her Majesty would not have allowed me to leave anyway. Not with this whole Beyond thing. Not with me somehow playing a key role in stopping it."

"You could have gone home after this is all over, James," she said back, narrowing her eyes, her voice a mixture of frustration, anger, and hurt now.

"And what if I am happy here? What if I don't want to go home? What if I think I am better off here than I ever was back there?" His own voice had tones of anger and frustration in it now.

"Why would you simply want to run away from your home like that, James? From everything you cared about back there? You could have taken the lessons you learned here and used them to make positive changes back there."

"I'm not running from my home. But I was running from my past. Princess Luna was right. I was running from it. But I'm not running anymore. I've faced it, and I've made peace with it. I can never go home."

"And you have no regrets? None at all? Somehow, I find that hard to believe, James."

"Of course, I have regrets, Twilight. There are things I never got to do back home that now I never will get to do. But there's nothing I can do about that now. All I can do is learn from those mistakes, make peace with them, and move on. So that I can do better in the future. But my future is here now. I've accepted that."

"And what if Princess Celestia were to change her mind when we find her? What if, when this is all over, she were to tell you that you could go home?"

He shook his head. "I'd say no, Twilight. I'd tell her I don't want to leave."

"This is my fault," Twilight responded, sighing.

"What is? What's your fault?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I should have started working on the spell to send you home sooner. If I had started on it right away … but I didn't. Because I didn't want you to go home. I was fascinated by you. So I never even started trying to find a way to send you home until after you'd already been here for almost three months … I was selfish, James. You must think I'm a terrible pony." He could see tears starting to well up in her eyes now.

He shook his head. "No, Twilight. I don't think that at all. And even if you had come up with a way to send me home before I joined the Council, I would have said no. I don't want to go home." He could feel tears starting to form in his own eyes now as well.

"Yes, you do. I can see you starting to cry. You miss your home. Don't try to lie to me, James!"

"I'm not lying to you!" He threw up his hands in frustration. "Of course, I miss my home! And of course, I miss my friends from back home! But you are starting to sound like you want me to leave or something!" Tears continued to well up in his eyes, and he felt a single one flow over and roll down his face.

"Of course, I don't want you to leave, James! But I don't understand. Why would you just abandon your friends like that? Why! Why would you abandon your family like that! If you had the chance to go home and be with them?"

"What if I think it was worth it! What if I think losing all that was worth it!"

"Why, James! Why wouldn't you want to go home if given the chance!"

"Because I don't wanna live in a world without you, Twilight!"

He had said it loudly, desperately, without even thinking. It was already out before he had even realized he was revealing his true feelings for her. Feelings he had kept hidden from everyone, including himself, only acknowledging them even to himself on rare occasions, such as when he had danced with her at the Solar Ball. And even then, he had tried to deny those feelings. But now, his true feelings were out. Now, he could no longer deny them. Not even to himself.

There was silence now, and the two of them simply looked across the isle at each other. Tears ran down his face freely now, and he was sure his face was a picture of pure, raw emotion. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again, a single tear rolling down her muzzle as well. When James spoke again, it was in a much quieter and soft, but still desperate tone.

"Even if there's no way we can ever be together, Twilight … I don't wanna live in a world without you."

Tears rolled down Twilight's muzzle freely now as she covered the distance across the isle to his side of the chariot in one bound. She wrapped both forelegs around the back of his head, pulling his face to her muzzle. For several long moments, the tears flowed freely from both of them as she held his face to her muzzle. Then, she touched his lips, and they kissed, the chariot pressing onward through the starlit Equestrian sky.