The God Particle

Chapter 19: Dreamscapes

Luna's moon was already beginning its descent when the three ponies and their human companion arrived back at the Academy dormitory. Delta Streak, the pegasus stallion, pushed the door open, holding it for the two mares. James followed behind them, the stallion bringing up the rear, letting the door slam shut behind him.

“You trying to wake up the whole building?” Theory Point scolded him.

He ignored her comment, looking back and forth between the two ponies and the human. “So what should we do now?”

James interjected before any of them could respond. “Despite how much fun I had tonight with you three, I do have to be up early for orientation. So what I am doing now, is heading to bed.”

“He's probably right.” Theory Point came to his defense. “We should all get to bed. I have class to teach in the morning. Tomorrow's not an off day, remember.”

“Typical pegasus,” Autumn Harvest snickered. “He doesn't know when to call it a night.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. “You are right I suppose. There's always the weekend I guess. Good night all. And thanks for the fun night,” he said, turning and leaving for his room.

“Good night,” James responded. “It was nice meeting you.”

He looked back at the two remaining ponies. “Thanks, you two. It's good to find some friends in Canterlot so quickly who aren't all … well, you know …”

“We know,” Theory Point chuckled. “So I'll see you tomorrow after you get done with orientation?”

“Yep. I'll see you then. Good night, you two.” He nodded to them before turning down the hall, walking towards the stairs as he left for his own room.

“Night,” the two mares responded in unison.

...

Theory Point waited until he was out of earshot, then looked at Autumn. “So what do you think of him?” she asked, a more serious expression on her face now.

“Well, I'm not into interspecies dating myself, but I think he's a good catch for you.” The earth pony snickered.

“You know what I mean,” Theory responded, giving the earth pony an unamused shove with her flank.

She chuckled again before responding. “I think he's interesting. Definitely intelligent. Definitely a valuable addition. Or could be. I think he has a lot of potential.”

The unicorn smiled and stood in silence for a few moments, staring in the direction James had gone as if lost in thought. “Well, I'm off to bed too. Good night, Autumn.” She turned and trotted towards the stairs herself, towards her own room.

...

Princess Celestia woke with a start, her heart pounding in her chest, her breathing rapid. Cold sweat drenched her pristine white coat, matting her fur and chilling her to the bone. She looked around rapidly in confusion. It was mostly dark, save for a burning fire—the fire in her own fireplace. She was lying in her own room in the castle. So it had been a dream … no, a nightmare. She forced herself to practice controlled breathing and calm down. But the realization that it was not real, that it was a dream, brought her little solace. There was more to it than that. She was sure of it.

A quick spell from her horn illuminated the clock on her wall. It was nearly time to raise the sun. She was glad for that. Despite the fact that she knew it was only a dream, she was anxious to prove to herself that the sun would still rise when she commanded it to.

She used her magic to light a lamp on the table next to her bed. Shook her head slightly to clear the strands of mane that were running down her muzzle and forehead before getting out of bed. Heading towards the door of her room, she stopped, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror above her dresser. Celestia, you silly filly. You can't go out there looking like that, she chastised herself, trying to make light of the situation.

Her horn glowed lightly, as did the brush on her dresser as it floated up to her head. She gently moved the brush through her mane, all evidence of the nightmare disappearing as she combed the normal regal appearance back into it. When she had finished with her mane, she brushed the mats out of her fur, restoring her coat to its normal radiance.

...

James slept soundly in his bed. He had fallen asleep almost before his head had hit the pillow. The combination of lack of sleep the night before, grueling exams that strained his mind all day, and partying with Theory Point and her friends well into the night had left him both physically and mentally exhausted. As he slept, he became aware of something pressing on his face—like a cold, icy hand covering his mouth. His vision slowly came into focus.

Standing on the bed, towering over his prone body, was the dark form of Princess Luna. She had a look of malice in her eyes—a look that would have sent him running in fear. Had he been able to run, that is. Her right forehoof covered his mouth, preventing him from crying out. Her left forehoof pressed firmly on his chest, pinning him down. Immediately, he panicked, instinct kicking in as he struggled, desperate for escape. He tried to call for help, but the only sound that came out was muffled by her forehoof.

“Don't even twitch, human!” she commanded in a voice that sounded different than her normal voice.

He forced himself to hold still at her command, doing his best to control his fearful shaking. Looking up at her again, he blinked at what he saw. Originally, he had thought it was Princess Luna standing over him. But now, he realized it was none other than Nightmare Moon herself. Instantly, the panic returned and he started struggling again—an effort that was quickly thwarted when the dark alicorn used her magic to pin down his arms and legs, reducing his struggling to ineffective squirming. He winced in pain as she pressed down harder on his chest with her forehoof. Realizing the futility of trying to escape, he finally held still, staring up at her. Never before had he felt such cold foreboding venom. It was as if pure terror had taken on a material form so that it could be seen, touched, heard, and smelled. All of his senses were focused on only one thing: the malevolent alicorn standing over him. He had been forcing himself to hold still—something that had been no small effort. But now, to his confusion, he found that remaining still had become easier. Frozen with fear, he thought to himself, raising his panic level even further, if that were possible.

The dark alicorn stared at him for a moment, chuckled in a sinister tone. “Are we finished now?” She didn't wait for a response. “Good. Now that I have your complete attention, you are going to listen very carefully to everything I say. Aren't you …”

Still hyperventilating, he made a slight nodding motion. It was all he could do with her forehoof still firmly covering his mouth.

The alicorn's frigid icy eyes glared into him, sending a chill through him as cold as a winter midnight. She spoke in a dark and menacing tone. “I don't know what is going on in the North. Nor do I know what it is you found up there … or claim to have found.” She paused for a moment, staring intently at him to make sure she still had his full attention. “But I do know that my sister trusts you completely. I already lost my sister once. I lost her for a thousand years because of my own ambitions. I have no intention of losing her again by letting your ambitions get in the way … by letting your ambitions cause history to repeat itself.”

He continued to breath rapidly, her eyes locking his transfixed to her. He made no further efforts to escape.

Her tone became darker, switching to the Royal Canterlot Voice. “Let us be very clear. If thou doest betray my sister … if thou doest harm her in any way … thou wilt answer directly to me. And I shall tie the rope around thy neck myself.” She paused again, making sure that what she had said had time to sink in—that he realized she was deadly serious. “Do we make ourselves clear?”

Again, he could only nod in response, her forehoof still resting firmly on his mouth, his eyes wide with terror.

“Good.”

She leaned down towards his face, nuzzling his cheek with her muzzle. Moonlight reflected off her obsidian fur, her armor awash with its pale silver light. Her touch was sinister, her fur cold, like a piece of dry ice rubbing against his skin. And yet, despite the iciness, it had a strange almost desirable feel to it—a darkly seductive quality. James shivered from her touch, getting a cold smile from her in response.

He awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright, throwing the covers off himself. Looking around frantically, he realized he was alone in his room at the dormitory. Gradually, his staccato breathing slowed to a more normal cadence. But the realization that it just been a dream did nothing to stop his shaking.

A gentle knock on the door caused his heart to skip a beat, his nerves already in overdrive. The handle on the door turned. He could feel himself going back into panic mode as the door slowly opened.

“Sir?” A royal unicorn guard stood outside the door, the light of the full moon streaming through the window and reflecting off his polished armor. “Are you alright? I thought I heard a shout.”

James stared at him for a moment before snapping back to reality. He breathed a small sigh of relief. “Yes, I'm fine. I had a dream … a nightmare … that's all. Thank you for checking.”

The unicorn guard looked at him for a few moments, seemingly unconvinced. Then he nodded slightly. “Very well, sir, I hope the rest of your night is better.”

“Thank you.” James nodded respectfully and laid back down as the royal guard closed the door, returning to his rounds. Sleep, however, eluded him, the fear of the dream still too fresh in his mind.

Giving up, he climbed out of bed well before Celestia's sun had begun to rise. He showered, combed his hair, and made himself presentable. Then he took the class 1B uniform down off its hanger, laying it out on the bed while he thumbed through the guide book it had come with to make sure he wore it properly. He had not worn a tie in he couldn't remember how long. It took him several attempts to get the knot tied correctly. When he finally did, he found that he had made it too long—the end hanging well below the belt buckle. With a sigh, he untied it and started over. This time, he over-corrected, the end only coming down to the middle of his stomach. Once again, he started over. A few more attempts, and he finally got the length correct. Next, he put the cap on, adjusting it until it fit his head.

When he had finished dressing, he looked at himself in the mirror. His own reflection surprised him. The uniform definitively made him look military—even more so than he thought it would. Sure, it looked military when Theory Point wore it. But now, seeing it on himself—on a human being—he had a more natural frame of reference to compare it to.

He continued staring into the mirror. The man that stared back at him was a symbol—a symbol of the system that Celestia and Luna had created. The constant symbols of Celestia and Luna's power displayed flying over the castle, on banners in every room, had bothered him from the day he arrived in Equestria. But now, he wore those symbols himself. The flag of Equestria. The royal coat of arms of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. He stared at them in the mirror. At the symbols of the dynasty of the two Royal Pony Sisters now adorning his own clothing. What have I become? he thought to himself.

He took off the cap—the guidebook dictated it was not to be worn indoors—and left his room, making his way to the common area for hot tea. The sun would not begin to rise for more than two hours and it was nearly three hours before he had to report for orientation.

In the common area, he was thankful for the warm fire that was cracking in the hearth. It seemed to warm his spirit, in addition to keeping the chill of the ever encroaching winter outside of the building.

He walked to the bookshelf that took up the length of the far wall, scanning through the titles. Eventually, he chose one titled “History of the Royal Equestria Academy” and sat down to read. After about thirty minutes, he returned the book to the shelf, placed his cap on his head, put on his uniform coat, and stepped out into the cold night air, making his way towards the lab.

Nothing stirred this early in the morning, the full moon lighting the streets so that he could see easily. But he took no comfort in the moon or its silver light on this frigid morning, for it only served to remind him of the terrifying dream earlier that night. The shadows cast by the lunar light seemed to take on an ominous appearance—as if each one of them was hiding some sort of monster waiting for the right moment to strike and devour him. The moon itself seemed to be watching his every move. He wished for clouds to arrive and cover it—more to prevent it from seeing him than him from seeing it. It seemed to hang in the sky, like Princess Luna's all seeing spy satellite. A spy satellite that would report back to its mistress on anything out of the ordinary.

James, you foal! he chastised himself. You're just letting your mind play games with you now. It provided little comfort however, and he did not fail to notice that he had used the word “foal” instead of “fool”, despite the fact that he wasn't even around any ponies right now and that he had been referring to himself rather than to a pony.

You're becoming one of them, his mind lambasted him. You're losing who you are. Losing your own identity.

He pushed those thoughts out of his head, continuing to walk in silence, hugging his coat a little closer around himself. His own breath hung in the air as he exhaled, like mist over a bog. The chill air seemed to grip him tighter, squeezing him like a vice as if trying to remind him of the increasingly tight grip Equestria was taking on him. He thought it ironic. After all, Celestia had given him more freedom—certainly more than he had during the first few months he had been here. And yet, despite the greater freedom, he felt more and more like a servant.

A light snow began to fall as he arrived at the entrance to the building that contained the underground lab. Moonlight glinted off the armor of the two pegasi guards in front of the door. He thought they must be cold, standing in front of that door for hours on end. But if they were, neither one showed any outward sign of it. Their devotion to their duty overcame all else.

“Good morning, sir,” the one on the right spoke. “Getting an early start this morning?”

“And good morning to you, sirs,” James nodded respectfully to both guards. “Yeah. Couldn't sleep. Figured I might as well come in early.”

“Congratulations on your acceptance into the Academy.” It was the pegasus on the left that spoke now, seeing the human scientist in uniform for the first time.

“Thank you, sir,” James responded.

The three of them made small talk for a few more minutes before James went inside the building. He made hot tea and brought it out to the guards, a gesture of good will that they greatly appreciated and thanked him for. Then he went back inside and headed downstairs to the lab.

The first thing he wanted to do was weigh the strange object. He pushed a wheeled cart with a scale sitting on it to the other side of the shield, then unlocked the latches on the trunk. Moving behind the shield again, he carefully manipulated the grabber they had rigged up, using it to open the trunk. Then, as delicately as if he were handling a diamond of priceless value, he used the grabbers to lift the sphere out of the trunk. Ever so slowly and carefully, he lifted it. Once he was sure he had a solid grasp on it, he moved it over to the scale, gently setting it down. It was heavy … very heavy. The mass of the object was greater than that of Uranium or Plutonium. It was not any element that exited in nature. It had to have been artificially made by the ponies. But how? There were no particle accelerators, nuclear reactors, or other facilities in Equestria that could be used to create new elements. None that he was aware of at least. Could magic be used to do it? He'd have to ask Theory Point about that when she arrived.

Suddenly, he had the feeling that he was being watched from behind. A cold chill started in his neck, ran down his back to the base of his spine. He swallowed the lump in his throat … slowly turned around. The Princess of the Night stood in the entrance, watching him in silence.

As if a sluice gate had been opened, the memories of the nightmare immediately came flooding back to him, filling his mind with their terrifying images. His heart raced. He knew he should kneel, but his legs didn't want to obey him. He willed himself to do so anyway, dropping to his knees and bowing his head respectfully to the Ruler of the Night. “Princess Luna. Your Majesty,” he acknowledged her. James, you foal! Stand up! his mind screamed at him. For kneeling had placed him in a completely vulnerable position where he would have no chance of defending himself should the need arise. He managed to resist the urge to stand up, but it required all of his will power to remain on his knees at this point. He waited for her to give him permission to stand. But she did not.

Slowly, she stepped into the lab, each of her hooves tapping on the concrete floor as she walked. The sound was like the ominous ticking of some doomsday clock, counting down the seconds to an unknown and frightening end. Her forehooves came down in front of him as she stopped, only a few paces away from his face. Again, his mind screamed at him to stand up and retreat. And again, he resisted the urge. What good would it do him anyway? Experience had taught him that Twilight Sparkle could magically restrain him when she wanted to. He was certain Princess Luna was more powerful. And if Twilight could do it …

“James, you look terrible,” the alicorn spoke with a compassion that seemed feigned. “Are your … dreams troubling you perhaps?”

He felt a surge of adrenaline go through him, the fight-or-flight response nearly overwhelming. “Was it … a dream? Your Majesty?” He had no doubt the fear was obvious in his voice, and he remembered that she had told him earlier that ponies were also capable of smelling fear. Stand up and run, you foal! his mind screamed at him again.

“Yes, it was a dream.” She said it as nonchalantly as if she were talking about the weather, her voice devoid of emotion.

Run James! You foal! Again, however, he did not, still on his knees remaining as still as possible—as if he were confronting an angry bear that might attack without warning if he made any sudden movements. He thought a bear might be preferable right now actually, rather than the powerful alicorn confronting him.

She walked around him once, crowding him in a tight circle, as if she were examining every part of him. The tapping of her hooves was even more ominous when she was behind him, out of his vision. That made him even more uncomfortable. When she was behind him, he was completely at her mercy. He was relieved when she completed her circle and stopped in front of him again.

“I suppose congratulations are in order,” she spoke again.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” He fought to control the nervousness in his voice. But he knew attempting to hide his fear from her was futile.

“Though I must say, seeing you wear my coat of arms on your clothing … my cutie mark … is going to take some … how shall we say … getting used to.”

He hesitated, choosing his words carefully before responding, as if walking on a minefield. “I will not disappoint you, Your Majesty.”

“See that you do not,” she responded, her voice still as cold as the darkness outside.

“May I … ask a question? Your Majesty?”

“Ask.” She raised her right forehoof, before stomping it back down on the floor lightly, causing him to recoil slightly. But he quickly recovered.

“What about that night we spent watching the stars, Your Majesty? I thought … we were over this mistrust thing?”

“Do not think that just because I let my guard down one night with you, that you have earned my trust. You are still a stranger here. And for all that we have learned about you, there is still a lot we don't know. About you or where you come from.”

“I … understand, Your Majesty … But please believe me when I tell you that I have no intention of betraying either you, or your sister.”

“As long as you do not, you have nothing to fear from me … Do you.”

“No, Your Majesty … I suppose you are right.”

“Of course I am right,” she responded nonchalantly. Then she looked up, moving her head in an arc, taking in the entire room in a bored sweep of her head. She spread her great wings, stretching them before folding them against her body again. “I suppose I should be on my way to lower the moon. The sun will be rising soon. But don't worry, James. You'll see me again soon enough.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” He bowed his head respectfully. He wasn't sure what she meant by the “You'll see me again soon enough” part. He wasn't sure he wanted to find out either.

When he chanced a glance back up, she was already gone. It unnerved him how she could come and go so silently when she wanted to, and yet the noise of her hooves tapping on the floor had seemed so loud when she had been confronting him. Was she ever really there? Or had it been another dream? Right now, he wasn't sure.

He forced his mind back to the task at hand, writing down some notes about the weight, mass, and so on of the object. Then he carefully used the grabbers to return it to the trunk. He closed the lid, and walked to the other side of the shield to secure the latches again.

He left the lab, locking the door behind him and proceeding up the stairs. Nodding politely to the guards outside the door, who thanked him for the tea he had brought them again. He almost walked past them, then stopped and turned to them.

“Did any other pony come into this building while I have been here?”

“No sir. You are the only one that has arrived this morning. Why do you ask?”

“It's nothing. Thank you.” He nodded respectfully to the two pegasi again, then turned and started walking towards the administration building for orientation. Well, she didn't come in through the door. Or if she did, she snuck past her own guards…

Celestia's sun was just starting to peak above the land as he arrived at the administration building—its warm, comforting glow flooding the Eastern horizon. There was a wild, untamed beauty in the way the colors mixed randomly on the horizon—like vials of pink, orange, and yellow paint that had been knocked over, allowed to run over a canvas of sky. It was unparalleled order and control, with just a touch of chaos that made each sunrise a unique picturesque experience different from the one before. He would never see another sunrise exactly the same as this one. Celestia's sunrise was an amazing sight to behold—made perfect … by a hint of chaos …