The God Particle

Chapter 14: Fly Into the Night With Me

Somepony had already kindled a fire in the fireplace of the guest room James was staying in. He was glad for that, as the warm glow of the fire fought off the chill north wind that tried to force its way through the closed window. But despite the warmth of the fire, James still felt chilled. It was not a physical chill, however. Rather, it was the chill of feeling completely alone. He finished unpacking and then stood up from the bed, walking over to the window and looking down on the castle court yard below. The last of the sun's light was just beginning to drop below the horizon—the sky towards the sunset taking on a brilliant hue of pink and orange before gradually fading to purple, and finally to grayish black as the night took over. As the night increased its grip on the land, James began to feel even more alone.

He turned and opened the large door leading out of his room. There was no guard posted there as there had been the first time he had stayed in the castle. Fortunately, he was starting to get a basic sense of direction in the castle. At least he knew how to find the grand foyer from here. He turned right and started walking down the corridor towards the staircase leading down to the grand foyer, then walking out of the main doors into the court yard. Immediately, he was assailed with the icy north wind that threatened to bite through his robes and chill him to his core. Still, he went further out in the court yard, finding a bench to sit down on near the garden. And still, he was alone. Other than the occasional royal unicorn guard making their rounds, the court yard was deserted—no doubt everypony with any sense who did not have to be be out on such a cold night was inside where it was warm. The guard ponies, of course, were too occupied with their duties, and paid him no mind.

He pulled his robe a little tighter around him against the chill wind and looked up at the clear sky. But even that seemed to mock him tonight, refusing to comfort him. The ever present lights of Canterlot made all but the brightest stars impossible to see. He sighed and pulled his knees up closer to him, looking down at the ground.

"James? What are you doing out here so late?" a feminine voice startled him from behind.

James jumped in surprise, turning to see the Princess of the Night standing behind him. "Princess Luna," he knelt before her and bowed his head. "You startled me. I didn't hear you approaching."

"I am the Night Princess. The ability to disappear in the shadows and approach in silence is one of my many abilities," she smiled at him gently. "Please, as you were."

James stood back up and sat down on the bench again, remaining silent.

"So what are you doing out here anyway?" the alicorn asked again.

"I was trying to look at the stars, Your Highness. But alas, the ambient back lighting from Canterlot makes them nearly impossible to see ... They were much easier to see from Ponyville."

"Ah, yes. They are much harder to see from within the boundaries of Canterlot," she paused for several moments. James could sense a certain amount of tension coming from her. "I will not lie to you James ... I don't fully trust you yet. I believe my sister does ... But I do not."

James thought for several moments before responding, feeling that he had to be much more carful with Princess Luna than with Princess Celestia. "... I can't say that I blame you for that, Your Highness. I would probably feel the same way if a sentient being that I knew virtually nothing about arrived from another planet, or dimension ... or where ever it is I am from in relation to here."

The Princess nodded her head and then looked at the ground, absent mindedly digging her right forehoof into the ground a few times. James thought it might be some kind of nervous habit when she was uncomfortable—one that the castle gardner no doubt hated given the rut she was putting in the garden soil. Finally, she looked at him and continued. "But that being said, I do want to thank you."

"Thank me?" James looked at her with a somewhat surprised expression. "... For what, Your Highness?"

"The astronomy articles you and Twilight wrote," she looked at the ground again and resumed digging the rut she had started even deeper with her forehoof, another long pause. "I still sometimes feel that not many ponies appreciate the night," she lamented.

"I think that more ponies appreciate the work you put into creating the night than you realize, Your Highness. The nights here in Equestria are very beautiful. More so than where I am from."

"You are just saying that," she still looked at the ground.

"I am not."

"Do you really think so?" she looked back up at him.

"I do."

She smiled a little, "Thank you," then the smile turned into almost a childish playful look. "Come with me," she said.

"Come with you? To where, Your Highness?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Outside of the city, where we can see the stars better."

"I'm not sure that would be such a good idea, Your Highness."

"We could have thee locked in the dungeon for disobeying a direct request from us, thou knowest," her voice was more austere and assertive now as she switched to the royal "we" usage, her playful look replaced with a stern gaze. She stomped her hoof lightly once in a hint of aggression.

And there it was, James frowned. The essence of why he didn't like this diarchy system where two rulers wielded absolute power. She had just threatened to imprison him for suggesting that wandering around at night outside the castle walls might not be the best idea. He wanted to tell her that he was not one of her subjects—not one of her servants that she could just order around. But this was not like being in a foreign country where he was guaranteed certain rights by international treaty. And there was no American embassy he could plead his case to if his rights were being violated. Here, she held all of the cards. And he had no choice except to play by her rules. She had said she didn't fully trust him. He wondered if she was trying to trap him now—to give her an excuse to lock him back in the dungeon—an excuse that Princess Celestia would not easily be able to disagree with. He knew he had to tread very lightly here, and be very careful. Finally, he responded.

"You could do that if you wish, Your Highness. But you would not need any reason to it if that is what you want."

"That is true, I do not ... Why don't you want to come with me?" her stern external shell betrayed a hint of hidden emotional pain now. Something he said had hurt her.

"Concern for your safety, Princess. I do not think Your Highness should walk outside of the castle walls at night with no guard escort. You are too important to Equestria to take such risks."

That was the truth, but it wasn't all of it. The distrust that Luna had for him was mutual. He didn't fully trust her either. Her history as Nightmare Moon, combined with her aggressive and threatening attitude towards him served to make him somewhat frightened of her. He knew she was nearly as powerful as her sister, and that if she got truly angry with him, he would be at her mercy.

"Concern for my safety? I own the night, remember? I will be perfectly safe ... And besides, I have you to escort me," she smiled again.

"I'm not a soldier or fighter ... I do not think I would be particularly useful if any situation were to develop where you needed an escort, Your Highness."

"None the less, I assure you I will be fine," she tapped her hoof on the ground impatiently, leaving another rut for the gardner to fix.

"What of the guards? The gate is closed and the drawbridge up. They aren't going to let me leave the court yard with you and without any guards."

"They will do whatever I command them to do," a hint of annoyance in her voice again. "Besides, we aren't leaving that way. I'm going to teleport us out of the court yard. Place your hand on my back."

James hesitated and didn't do anything.

"Thy Princess commands thee to place thy hand on her back!" she said, her expression becoming stern, another aggressive stomp of her forehoof.

"As you wish, Your Highness," James lowered his head submissively and complied with her demand. Then he was on the other side of the castle walls, vertigo taking over as the world seemed to spin circles around him—circles that alternated up, down, left, and right. Sometimes all directions at the same time. He brought his hand to his head, both to try to stave off the vertigo as well as relieve the pounding headache he had suddenly developed.

"It will pass in less than a minute," Luna informed him, seeing his distress. We teleported a fairly long distance for someone who has little experience with it. The further you teleport, the worse the vertigo and headache. But it passes quickly."

True to The Princess's word, the headache quickly subsided, and the vertigo eased and went away. They were in a small secluded park surrounded by trees. But they were still inside the city, and the lighting was still to bright to see many of the stars.

"We fly the rest of the way," she stated. "It would be too dangerous for me to teleport you all the way to where we are going. Climb on," she flicked her muzzle over her shoulder, motioning to her back.

"Your Highness, I could never!" James balked, the idea of riding on The Princess's back as if she were a common horse seemed unthinkably disrespectful to him.

"Relax, James," she rolled her eyes slightly. "It's ok, really. And besides, I'm asking you to do it. Do I need to command you again?"

"As you wish," he said again before moving back to her side. Very slowly and carefully, he started to climb on to her back.

"I'm not made of glass you know," the alicorn rolled her eyes impatiently. "Just get on."

James nodded and then climbed fully on to her back. She made sure he was secure before leaping into the air, the two of them starting to fly into the night over the city, further away from the castle. She stayed very low to the ground, barely skimming the tops of the carefully manicured trees that lined Canterlot's streets, slipping silently over the tops of houses and barely clearing the pointed rooftops. He wondered why she was flying so low to the ground, but upon looking back at the castle, he found his answer. Pegasus Guard patrols circled around the castle, scanning the skies for any airborne threats—probably looking for dragons or griffins. Luna was staying low to avoid being spotted by the guards. He also noticed that despite the chill air outside and the fact they were moving through the air relatively fast, he was not cold, and did not feel any wind. He looked forward again and saw the alicorn's horn glowing. She must be using some kind of spell to keep him warm and protect him from the wind, he thought.

The tall buildings of Canterlot gradually began to thin out as they reached the outskirts of the city, the bright lights giving way to dim specs of light here and there. Until the ground was no longer visible at all due to lack of any lighting sources. A few more minutes of flight, and Luna flared her wings, coming to a graceful landing on top of a hill in the middle of an open meadow, no trees around to block any part of the full panoramic view of the sky. James climbed off of her back and she sat down on on her haunches on the grass, motioning with a forehoof for him to sit next to her. He did so, and looked up at the sky.

The view from here was truly amazing. Not even from Twilight's observatory in the Ponyville Library did he have such a beautiful view of the Equestrian night sky. The moon had not yet risen, allowing every star to show off its full potential—each point of light displaying Luna's work on an endless astral canvas.

"It's beautiful up here, Princess," he commented, continuing to scan the night sky, looking forlornly at the many stars.

"Thank you ... But yet, something bothers you. I can sense it."

"Everything is fine, Princess."

"You are a terrible liar, James. Tell me what is bothering you," she looked at him with an expression that was assertive, yet also caring.

"It's just that I look at them all ... And I can't help but wonder if there is a chance one of them is the sun from my own world ... The tiny wobble of one of the planets Twilight and I detected orbiting some of those stars ... If one of them could be Earth."

Luna just remained silent, listening to him.

"But then, what does it matter anyway. Even if one of them is my own sun. It's hundreds of light years away. Maybe thousands. It will never be possible to get there from here. At least not in my lifetime," he looked at the ground. "We should go back ... The full moon will be rising in a few minutes. We won't be able to see many of the distant stars then."

"You presume to tell me when the moon will rise? And what phase it will be in?" she poked him in the shoulder with a forehoof.

"Th ... That's not what I meant, Your Highness ... I just meant that ..." he fumbled over his words nervously, worrying that he may have offended her.

"Relax, James," she smiled softly. "Equestria is not going to end if I raise the moon thirty minutes late tonight so we have more time to stargaze."

"You'd do that for me?" he had a surprised expression on his face.

"Yes. It's not very often that I have somepony else to watch the stars with. That ... and I know what it feels like to be alone. To feel helpless, and hopeless," she scratched at the ground with her forehoof again while looking down, unpleasant memories coming back to her.

"How ... How did you deal with it, Your Highness?"

She looked even more uncomfortable now, digging her forehoof deeper into the ground with each scrape, James getting more nervous with each scrape of her hoof. The last thing he wanted to do was anger the powerful alicorn by asking the wrong question, or saying something that upset her.

"In the worst way possible," she finally responded. "I became even more bitter and spent almost the entire one thousand years plotting my revenge. The evilness and bitterness that was Nightmare Moon consumed me, but also gave me power. When I returned from my banishment on the moon, I was even more powerful than my sister. But it was an evil, twisted power, tainted by corruption. It took the Elements of Harmony wielded by no fewer than six ponies to rescue me from the corruption that had consumed me."

James listened intently to her story, picking up her own nervous habit and adopting it as his own as he dug a finger into the ground, scraping it back and forth slowly. He looked at her again. "Can I ask you a question, Your Highness?"

"Yes, of course."

"How do you ... not resent your sister? You know ... for doing what she did in the first place?"

"It was resentment that got me into the entire mess. Resentment that forced my sister to do what she did. My sister didn't do anything wrong," she shook her head gently side to side, her ethereal mane flowing gently with her movement. "I learned how wrong resentment was," she continued looking at the ground, a troubled expression still on her face.

"But something still bothers you, Your Highness," he risked prodding her on further.

"Yes ... Yes, it does," she nodded her head slightly. "I feel that ... my subjects still resent me. And they still fear me ... In fact, you fear me."

James resumed nervously tracing his finger on the ground. "Is it that obvious, Your Highness?"

"I can smell fear. All equines can," she looked at the ground sadly.

The scientific part of James's brain made a mental note of that fascinating fact. Like their feral counterparts from where he was from, the ponies here had heightened sense abilities and could smell certain emotions in other animals. He quickly filed it away for later. The scientific side of him took a back seat to the compassionate side of him that was more concerned for Luna's emotional well being.

"... Can I speak freely, Your Highness? And offer an opinion? Without ... Being locked in the dungeon or something?" he said the last part in a lighthearted tone in an attempt to lighten the mood a little bit.

"I will not lock you in the dungeon for offering your opinion, James ... Unless you want me to, that is."

"Princess!" he exclaimed, taken aback by her ... unseemliness.

"What? Must I be serious all of the time just because I am a princess? Am I not allowed to make a joke once in awhile? Especially at your expense?" she had a sly smile and giggled slightly.

He breathed a sigh of relief, both for the fact that she had been joking as well as the fact that his attempt to lighten the mood somewhat had apparently worked. He regained his composure. "I think, perhaps, that you have some issues with self confidence, Your Highness."

"What do you mean?" she flicked her tail once, somewhat rapidly.

He wished he knew how to read equine body language better. Other than the tail flick, she had a poker face expression. Did that tail flick mean she was annoyed? Should he fold and back off? He decided to take his chances and raise instead. "You feel that your subjects don't respect you, or respect your authority. So you feel the need to assert your authority, sometimes with intimidation."

She looked at the ground, apparently deciding the rut she had been digging with her hoof was deep enough and starting a new one. "Yes ... I suppose you are right."

"But this causes your subjects to fear you ... It causes ... me to fear you. I mean well ... I stated I didn't think it would be a good idea to come out here, and you immediately reminded me that you could have me locked in the dungeon for disobeying you. That makes me fear you. And if you use that kind of aggressive assertiveness with your subjects, it makes them fear you too."

She hesitated, staring at the ground. "I think I understand what you are saying ... But is it so bad to want to be appreciated for what you do?"

"You know, Your Highness, I think your subjects love you and appreciate you for what you do a lot more than you realize. It's just that ... well, it's harder for an observer to see the appreciation that others have for the night than to see the appreciation they have for the day."

"Explain," she looked at him again and stopped her rut digging for the moment.

"Do you know what inspired me to become a theoretical physicist? It was the night. The moon. The stars. As a child I would stay up late at night just staring at them for hours. Wondering what was out there. What made them work. How everything fit together. The awesome vastness of the Universe is only visible at night, Your Highness. It was the night sky that inspired me to become who and what I am today. The desire to unlock the secrets of the Universe and understand how it all worked. Countless scientists have been inspired to become what they are thanks to the night."

"Really?" she gave a small smile at him.

"Yes, Your Highness. And how many colts and fillies have wished upon a star for their dreams to come true? We even have a song about it where I am from."

"Will, you sing it for me?" she had a look of hopefulness in her eyes.

"Uh ... actually, I have a very horrible singing voice, Your Highness," he started to panic. He was pretty sure she wasn't going to let him out of this.

"I want you to sing it for me anyway," she said flatly.

"Please don't make me do this, Princess," he pleaded.

"I'm not going to make you ... I'm just asking you ... Please sing it for me?"

He winced at the thought, but it seemed he had actually gotten through to her. His company and words really therapeutic to her. He hesitated for only a few moments. He surrendered. "Who am I, to deny a princess of Equestria?" he smiled nervously before starting to sing softly:

When you wish upon a star

Makes no difference who you are

Anything your heart desires

Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream

No request is too extreme

When you wish upon a star

As dreamers do

Fate is kind

She brings to those who love

The sweet fulfillment of

Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue

Fate steps in and sees you through

When you wish upon a star

Your dreams come true

He winced after he finished singing, knowing he had probably sung it horribly. He was probably off key, hadn't been able to hold the tune properly, and well ...

Luna, however was smiling and had a tear in her eye. "That was beautiful, James. We thank you ... I mean, I thank you for singing it to me."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Your Highness" he smiled back, feeling like even if she didn't fully trust him yet, that they had at least broken the ice.

"We should probably get back to the castle. You scientific types are going to be upset with me tomorrow for throwing off your precise lunar schedules as to when the moon is supposed to rise," she giggled a bit.

"I'm sure we will get over it," he chuckled.

"Climb on," she flicked her head back over her shoulder again motioning for him to get on her back.

He started to walk towards her, thinking to himself about the song he had just sung for her. 'Fate steps in and sees you through'. Maybe it was fate that he was here? As Twilight had suggested when he first got here? And maybe fate would see him through and everything would work out? "Your Highness? I was wrong about one thing."

"What is that?"

"It wasn't a bad idea to come out here. It was a good idea," he smiled. "And I thank you for bringing me out here."

He climbed on her back. The two of them flew into the night towards Canterlot.