Giro dropped to the floor; his mouth ajar and his nuts shattered. He looked up one last time; through the opaque red glasses though I could still see the hate inside of him.

“We are anonymous we are legion” Giro said as his last words. He dropped to the ground in a ellipse of his own blood.

“No you are a left wing troll” I said; breathing intensely from the brutal fight I had just endured. I looked up (Still panting) at the group of Red Hoof soldiers In front of me. They had a stunned look on their face; as if they had just seen a ghost. More than one of them had left the room as Giro had fallen; that just left fewer guards to fight.

“Now what?” I heard Mike ask from inside the ROFLcopter. Without a second notice the Red Hooves lunged for their guns and opened fire at me. I was half expecting the danger nonetheless and managed to half fly half run to a nearby marble pillar. Of all the possible things my friends could do helping was not one of them.

I didn’t know what to do; but I knew what I shouldn’t do. So I just did what I knew I shouldn’t do.

In a lull of the gunfire I did a quick roll from my cover into the open, put my forehoof against my other forehoof and screamed “THE POWER OF CHRIST” like I was Tim Tebow.

All of the Red Hoof looked at each other as if I was insane (Which I obviously why). The second the first Red Hoof raised his gun to fire the opposite wall exploded.

Out came a man dressed as a Denver Bronco.

“HOW DARE YOU DEFY CHRIST YOU LITTLE BITCH!” He screamed

“What is that thing?” A Red Hoof asked; eyeing the exit blocked by the brutish quarterback.

“I AM TIM FUCKING TEBOW AND YOU ARE ABOUT TO LEARN THE POWER OF CHRIST IN THE FORM OF MY ASS KICKERY!” The bible thumper thundered with great strength. I seriously wasn’t expecting that.

The Red Hooves had no chance. The second they opened fire on Tim Tebow Tim Tebow used some kind of holy shield. The bullets bounced straight off of him without the slightest scratch and only seemed to infuriate Tim Tebow even more.

Tim Tebow grabbed the nearest Red Hoof with one hand and yanked him in half…literally. He picked him up, over his head, and just snapped him like a twig. Even without it’s legs the determined Red Hoof still tried to escape; but to no avail. The rest of the Red Hooves made a run to the door; all of them trying to flank Tim Tebow on either side.

“YOU ARE ALL NOW CHRIST’S BITCHES” Tim Tebow roared; smashing one of the Red Hooves against the wall. All of the Red Hooves now were becoming more and more cornered. Some had already tossed their guns down to make themselves faster and or more agile against Tim. Sadly all the agility in the world wasn’t going to save them against this zealous Christian.

I couldn’t help but notice that Tim Tebow was walking like an encumbered juggernaut. I assumed it was to intimidate his dissolute enemies but it began to shake me when I realized he was also lumbering towards me. Tim Tebow as it seems was programmed like a B- AI. He walked towards the nearest enemy; if a new enemy came closer than the old one Tim would try and follow that one. But it didn’t make sense towards me. Why was I a target?

“Hey uh Tebow why are you walking towards me?” I asked nervously

“MUST KILL FORNICATOR” Tim Tebow said in a Frankenstein like voice.

“Okay…” I said; slowly trotting backwards with the Red Hooves. We were now running out of room and heading closer and closer to the ROFLcopter and the rubble from our entry. I was formulating a plan; I was going to push a Red Hoof in front of me; then I was going make a dash for the ROFLcopter and take it from there. I eyed the weakest Red Hoof, a lanky little colt, and rammed him into Tim Tebow. Tim Tebow picked him up and om nom nomed his head off while his comrades watched in horror.

I sprinted for the ROFLcopter and banged on the door. Mike fortunately felt it and opened the door for a split second. All the other Red Hooves were distracted by the horror in front of them and none of them even noticed the door opening.

“Is the ROFLcopter still working?” I asked worried. Tim Tebow was now burning through the rest of the Red Hooves at an alarming rate.

“Yea I can try….” Tyler said, he began pressing buttons and I heard a small alarm “Okay we can go.”

“FLY MUTHA FUCKA FLY!” I screamed; Tyler did a couple gestures and the ROFLcopter went into flight. I looked out the window to see Tim Tebow’s emotionless face as he ate through the last Red Hoof.

“I guess we are safe” I said

“No we are not…” Conor said; pointing a hoof out the window. I looked outside in horror to see Tim Tebow flying through the air.

“Jesus Christ he is going to destroy the ROFLcopter! Vespi get on the .50 Cal!” Nico screamed. I looked down at the small bubble of a gunner position. It was barely even large enough for me; but I had to do it. That or get om nom nomed by Tim Tebow in a ROFLcopter 500 feet above Equestria.

I jumped down into the cockpit and grabbed the .50 Cal and turned it towards Tim Tebow. He wasn’t gaining on us fortunately; but I doubt we would be able to lose him any time soon. I began spraying at Tim Tebow. The .50 Cal bullets (Although potent and badass) were barely leaving a mark in the Bronco Bastard.

I heard Tim Tebow scream (Through bullet proof glass dare I mind you) “POWER OF CHRIST” the next thing I saw was a bolt of light heading towards me. It connected with the glass and cracked it. I cursed; it wasn’t going to last. I tried to get back up onto the ROFLcopter. A bump caused me to fall back down and shatter the glass completely. I was barely holding on to the small hole in the bottom of the ROFLcopter now. I could hear my heart beat in my ear and I was going through shock. That is why it took me a couple minutes to realize Tyler was giving me a hoof.

“Come on Vespi!” Tyler screamed; I grabbed his hoof for dear life and allowed him to hoist me back into the ROFLcopter.

“Thanks man” I said

“You know you do have wings” Tyler said

O yea I do don’t I?

Although that crisis was averted Tim Tebow was still floating towards us. 1 fist at his hip and the other pointed towards us like some super hero.

“I think I know how to kill him” Ayan said. Wait how the fuck did Ayan spawn that quickly! Seriously I go into a gunner bubble for like 5 minutes and Ayan is right there; staring at me with that Derpy expression of his.

“What?” I asked

“Okay so we like got to stick dynamite on me and push me into him” Ayan said “Pretty legit am I right?”

“Okay you do that Ayan” Mike said

“Okay” Ayan said; I looked down at the metal platted ground to see sticks of dynamite on the ground.

“Ayan how’d you do that?” I asked

Ayan gave a quick snort “Magic”

Ayan began to prepare his dynamite plan while I was forced to watch Tim Tebow begin to gain on us; slowly but still speeding up in time.

“Okay guys I am like ready!” Ayan said. I turned around to see Ayan in his juggernaut suit with at leastly a dozen pieces of dynamite duck tapped to him.

“Okay” I said “Now we just need to light the fuses”

“Guys I got this; I learned how to do this in the boys scouts” Ayan said. He spat on his hoof then began to rub it on his helmet. In a few moments a light came from Ayan’s hoof and the bomb was lit.

“Okay so see you later guys” Ayan said. Ayan ran towards the door and jumped out; I looked out the window to seem him connect with Tim Tebow (Lucky Shot). Tim Tebow exploded into a million little pieces.

“O my god we did it!” I screamed “WE WON! WE SAVED EQUESTRIA!” We all gave each other hugs and laughed. The ROFLcopter was in bad shape and low on fuel but we could land.

We had won

***

In front of me was Princess Celestia smiling. To my side were my 5 friends; all having ramrod posture and steel gazes.

“In honor for saving Equestria from the rebels I present you the greatest of all of Equestria’s medals.”

I saw Princess Celestia walk towards Tyler on my far left. She picked up one of the medals and pinned it to his armor.

“Thanks babe” Tyler said

“Easy bro you don’t know what you are getting into” I whispered in a hushed tone.

In linear order Princess Celestia pinned the medals onto our (Loaned) golden armor. When she came to pin the medal onto my chest she whispered in my ear

“You know; I am kind of soggy”

“I’m getting a restraining order” I said belligerently.

***

“So we got another adventure under our belt” Mike said. We were all lounging in comfortable chairs on the roof. Drinking beers and joking about the entire experience.

“Eyup” I said “But what do we do now?”

“I don’t know. Speaking of now where’s Ayan?” Dan said. Had Ayan ran through all of his lives?

“O well; and then there were 6” Tyler joked

“Amen buddy amen” I said with a smile.

It was all over…for now

***

Konstantin was still antsy. Even after months of training he was still anxious for this big day. The fate of Russia depended on him and this mission. He had 5 minutes before the big job. Part of him (A big part) wants him to go. He knew Russia was in terrible shape; and he knew the entire country was Fubar (Fucked Up Beyond All Repair). I guess this was his ticket.

“Konstantin are you ready?” Vladimir asked

“Yes I’m ready” Konstantin said over excitedly. He couldn’t help but smile about the times when he first came to the small community he had now learned to love. He couldn’t help but smile when he thought about the times when he was afraid of Vladimir and his cronies. Not anymore.

“Too bad” Vladimir said “Neo-Nazism has fallen. We won”

“What” Konstantin barked.

“Yup; no need for this mission anymore” Vladimir said “Nice knowing you though.”

“But…” Konstantin said

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”

ZE END

Next Chapter: Note from Vespi Estimated time remaining: 1 Minutes