“Log 6-4-2-5; test failure doughnut crumbs obstructing power grid 2” Konstantin said; Chernov seemed like a nice guy; only problem is was he was a big fat slob. He already vomited, farted, pisses, and obstructed on power grid 2B. Power grid 2A had to be thrown out because…well you now know.  

“Do you want me here or what?” Chernov asked; the fat guy said sitting in a wooden chair; it amazed Konstantin that the chair didn’t already break.

“You’re not helping so feel free to leave” Konstantin said; Chernov grumbled something to himself but fortunately waddled out of the room and hopefully out of the bunker.

Vladimir 5 minutes walked into the room tapping Konstantin on the back

“Hey Konstantin how’s it going?” He asked sitting down in Chernov’s seat

“Good I guess; hopefully I can get some damn work done now with Chernov out of the room.” Konstantin said

“Good to hear listen I found some information and was curious-“Vladimir was stopped short by a panicky person; he had a L20 Precision Rifle in his hands and a ballistic vest on; with several bullet holes in it

“Sir we found some Nazi scouts out in the woods we need your help sir” The man said in a high panicky voice.  

“I’ll be right back” Vladimir said; he went sprinting out of the door with the man; leaving only a burst of air to finish his

statement from before.

Konstantin just gave out a sigh and went back to work trying to get the electronics online.

***

Konstantin worked on the electronics for the next 5 arduous hours; Konstantin heard from one of the men, Leonard, that Vladimir and everyone else was okay.

Konstantin this day chose to go have dinner at a more fancy dining area then the bar; if he could he would of just cooked something for himself but sadly he hadn’t tried to cook anything since he burned down his apartment.

Konstantin ordered his normal salad; sitting anxiously in the restaurant. It was a lot like the tavern with quaint wooden walls and an area outside where people could eat during better weather.

When Konstantin felt a tap on his shoulder he dreaded that something happened to the restaurant’s salad stockpile, had the Nazi’s made salad illegal to transport?

When he turned around he instead saw an elderly man, fumbling with a hat,

“Um excuse me sir I need your help for just a moment” He said

“I need someone to help to change a tire; I’d really appreciate it.

What hurt could there be in helping an elderly old man in a “Good Samaritan” situation? As Konstantin walked outside turns out there can be a lot of pain; out of the corner of his eye he saw a strong arm grab him and smash him against the wall; with the door closed and no one on the streets Konstantin was on his own.

Konstantin smashed into the wall cracking his head; he fell down into the garbage can; half blacked out when he heard some mumbling, and then felt himself being hoisted up against the wall. That single one hand was out there holding him by the neck

“Who, who are you?” Konstantin asked scared to death

“A friend of the Nazis” The voice sounded eerily familiar. It was an American, it was him

“Chuck Norris is that you?” Konstantin asked he finally saw the face of the man, of Chuck Norris. He wore his entire cowboy outfit for this mission.

“Glad you recognize me now I have to talk to you”

Konstantin nodded his head frantically, anything to not be in Chuck’s pathway of destruction

“My Nazi friends don’t like what you are doing, we know what you are doing, Chuck Norris can read minds” He said; all the things the internet said; were they true?

“But, but-“Konstantin mumbled; Chuck smashed him against the wall again; Konstantin bit down on his tongue so hard he though he tore it plain off, or was Chuck going to do that himself?

“You’re going to stop what you’re doing alright partner?” He said

Konstantin was about to swallow his pride, legacy and faith in the world by saying yes; which he almost did. Not until he heard a scream and a crow bar come out of the dark.

The crowbar snapped in half against Chuck Norris, who didn’t buckle, didn’t fall, didn’t even seem stunned, all he did was turn around and smile

“Who do you think you are fighting CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS!?” He screamed sending flecks of spit into the abyss of darkness

“I AM RUSSIAN CHUCK NORRIS!” It was Vladimir I saw hate connect with Chuck Norris’s face; causing him to slam against the wall.

Konstantin scooted out of the way when he saw Vladimir send a boot right into Chuck’s balls (Vladimir told him he always had steel padding in his boots) causing him to be crushed into the wall farther, and eventually caused him to slump down, dead.

“Vladimir” Konstantin shuttered “Did you just kill Chuck Norris?”

“No” Vladimir said grabbing Konstantin by the arm “No man can kill Chuck Norris he will come back to life in 59 seconds.“ The two ran back to the house opened the trap door and ran down stairs.

After Vladimir told the story to the guards on how he killed Chuck Norris Konstantin walked over to Yuri; who was waving him over with a boney finger

“Listen be careful out there” Yuri warned “The world is a dangerous place. Next time it might not be Chuck Norris; it could be Saxton Hale, or Chuck Testa, or 2 Chuck Norrises!”

“Your right…thanks Yuri” I said

“And Konstantin” Yuri said; Konstantin turned around to see the old man eye to eye

“They are watching; we depend on you”

Konstantin looked stunned; he just thought that was the legendary fear tactics of Chuck Norris at work.

“The Nazi’s know what we are doing?” Konstantin squeaked

“Yup” Yuri said with a sigh “We have men and guns; but after St. Petersburg falls there heading in this direction”

The lights flickered; and an explosion came from upstairs.

“Lord Chuck Norris is back” Yuri said “Go help our boys will you?”

Konstantin was shy around guns; especially while shooting at Chuck Norris in a soviet winter wonderland full of Nazis.  

“But I’ve never fired a gun before” Konstantin said “I’m not trained-“

Yuri slapped him “No one trains to use a damn gun now go shoot Chuck Norris!” He said; Konstantin glumly headed towards the armory to grab his weaponry.

Konstantin was scared stiff; he Vladimir and 6 others were fighting off Chuck Norris in the streets. He couldn’t help but notice these men were armed very handsomely and expensively. Ballistic Vests and L2 Laser Rifles (The L1 Rifles were cancelled due to their tendency to blow up in the user’s hands) were the main armament, but Yuri just had a 2 by 4 with a nail in it; when Konstantin asked he just called it his “Pain stick”.

We saw him walking like a demon; slowly marching down the street; his cowboy boots clanking and his cowboy hat fluttering in the wind.

“Nice kick before Vladimir but Chuck takes no prisoners” He said laughing manically

“O lord” One of the men said; he hadn’t heard the story “It is Frank Sinatra!”

“He’s Chuck Norris you idiot!” Vladimir said socking him in the arm.

“Time to get chucked little boys” Chuck Norris said

***

Konstantin got out of his daze immediately; he had been thrown against a house by Chuck Norris himself. The only one standing (Whom he could see) was Vladimir; firing point blank against Chuck, who wasn’t even running but instead slowly walking towards him.

Konstantin tried his best to get out of the rubble; but was too weak; his L2 laser gun was tossed to his side; somehow still intact.

“Any last words Vladimir?” Konstantin focused on Chuck and Vladimir once more; Chuck had Vladimir in that grip, one hand hoisting him into the air by the neck. Vladimir noticed Konstantin in the rubble and screamed

“KONSTANTIN NOW”

Without even thinking Konstantin grabbed his rifle and shot one beam at Chuck; the beam exploded his knee causing him to buckle, and drop Vladimir.

“Thanks Konstantin” He said with a smile;

“I will be back… I shall be back in 40 days with Jesus” Chuck Norris coughed one last time and died, this time for good… or for 40 days.

“Some warning” Konstantin said; looking down at the corpse; there was now a gaggle of civilians watching what had just happened

“Sadly not the last” Vladimir said; flicking his lighter open

I present to you,

The Sequel to 6 Friends and Luck

WONDERLAND

Don't worry we are actually going to hear about Equestria next chapter ;)

-Vespi

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