Come on… come on… notice, you old man!  It has been about an hour or so since Vinyl had proposed to me, and I couldn’t be happier!  I had wanted to run straight up to my father and tell him the news, but Vinyl though it would be better if we made it a surprise.  So, here we are, sitting at our reserved table in the ships luxury restaurant Le Poney De Vol.  Bluebelle, my father, Moondancer, Vinyl , and I all sat around the table, most of the ponies chatting idly with each other, while I sit as still as possible.  I was never good at keeping secrets, nor was I good at keeping anything hidden.  So trying to hide the fact that me and my love were now engaged was, well… excruciating!  I stare down my father, mentally willing him to ask about the new earing.  But, the old fool is somehow oblivious to my new jewelry!  After a few more seconds of staring death at my father, I return my focus back to the conversation at hoof.

“-there I was, standing in the middle of a field, three dark lords cornering me at each side,” Moondancer says, her voice already in ‘theatrical’ mode.  Or, as I like to call it, Moondancer mode, describing some dream she had.  “They had me surrounded.  My mana reserves were dangerously low.  I had only a small sabre with me, but it had broken from all the combat prior.”

“Vinyl and I agreed to get married!” I scream, clamping my hooves over my mouth immediately as all attention is turned on me.  Vinyl tilts her head, staring at me unamused.  “Hehe…”

I look around the room and notice a few nearby tables had turned their attention to me, some had their eyebrows raised, annoyed from my outburst, while the rest were smiling at me, silently congratulating me.  Turning back to my table, Bluebelle has the biggest grin I have ever seen, along with father, and Moondancer looks annoyed.

Bluebelle is the first to speak up, “Oh, sweet Celestia, really?!”  She gasps, “I can’t believe I didn’t notice those before!”  I turn my head, proudly showing off my new accessories.  Her voice raises a few octaves, “Ohhhhh they’re beautiful!”  She gets up from her seat to pull Vinyl and I into a hug, “I’m so happy for you two!”

“Congratulations, you two!”  My father says, reaching into his suit jacket to pull out a handkerchief.  “I can finally walk my daughter down the aisle,” He dabs his eyes.  “When did this happen?”

“Thanks for taking my spotlight…”  Moondancer mumbles.

“Just an hour ago.”  Vinyl replies.  

Bluebelle gasps again, “Have you made any plans?  Where’s the wedding going to take place?  When?  Who are you going to invite?”

Vinyl raises her hoof to stop her mother’s rambling, “Woah woah woah, mom, this literally just happened.  There’s plenty of time to figure out all that stuff.  Besides, I got a friend in Ponyville that can do the catering and plan the bachelorette party, and she knows another pony that would love to plan the wedding, especially since it involves the ‘great Octavia Harmonious’.”

“Does anyone wanna hear the rest of my story?”

“A wedding in Ponyville sounds perfect actually,” Father says. “Considering how tight nit the nobles are with same-sex marriage, not to mention the media attention it would get.  In a humble town like Ponyville, you wouldn’t have to worry about any of that.”

I sigh happily. “A simple wedding without nobles and paparazzi sounds wonderful.  Let’s do it in Ponyville.”

“Awesome,” Vinyl says, “When this cruise is over we can go to Ponyville and talk to Pinkie.  There’s no way she can say no to a wedding.”

I shudder at the mention of that name.  “Pinkie planning a wedding?  I’m...I’m not so sure about that.”

Vinyl waves me off. “No, she’s not gonna plan it, Rarity is.  Pinkie’s gonna deal with the catering.  And trust me when I say there’s no pony better in all of Equestria than Pinkie when it comes to baking.  You want a two-story sized cake-statue of yourself?  Consider it done.  Want a one story cake-statue of yourself inside of a cake, she can do that too!”

“Then I guess it has to be a ‘marble’ cake, badum-tsk….  anyone?”

I look at her questioningly before giving in.  “Alright then.  If you think it’s for the best.”

Vinyl claps her hooves together. “Great!  So I’ll go visit Rarity and talk to her about the planning, and you can visit Pinkie.”

I nearly do a spit-take.  “M-me?  Visit Pinkie?  I thought you loved me, Vinyl.”

“...Same here...”

“C’moooon, Tavi!  She’s not all bad.  It’ll be a bonding experience for you two!”  Vinyl replies, wrapping her foreleg over my shoulder.

Times like these are when I wish I had something stronger than wine.  I wonder if our mini fridge has some good, strong vodka… When is that blasted waitress coming back?  “Alright, but If I come back mentally scarred, it’s your fault.”

“I have a scar… was fightin’ off some cultist when–”

Father raises his wine glass with his magic. “A toast, to Vinyl and Octavia.”  We all raise our glasses and clink them together… except for me.

I clear my throat, a little annoyed. “Could you all magic your glasses down a little?  I can’t reach.”  Flipping unicorns, I swear! No though for us ‘lowly’ earthponies!

“Pssh, get a load of this one, not being a unicorn.  Hah!  Someone pay attention to me! Please!”

“Oh, sorry sweetie!”  Bluebelle lowers her glass and clinks it to mine.

“Ehhhh!  I’m gonna cry again...”

The four of us clink our glasses.  “To family!”

“Yea… crying now.”

(\/);,,;(\/)

Come on, Octavia!  She is just one mare… One crazy, impossible, mare, but still only one!  You have faced poverty, spat in the face of death!  You can do this!  And that that internal bout of motivation, I push past the door and into Sugercube corn–”

“Suprise!”

I slam the door closed, bracing it with my back.  I was not ready!  I am not ready!  I will never be ready!

I hear the sound of a window opening, followed shortly by the sound of hooves landing on dirt.  “Hey, silly, you’re supposed to go inside for a surprise party, not stay outside!”

I shudder.  Welp, we all have to face our demons eventually… even if they are pink.  I turn, putting on as big of a smile as I can.  “Hi, Pinkie!  Didn’t think I’d see you here!”

She tilts her head.  “Why?  You do know I work here and, well, live here too.  In all honestly this is the place you should expect me!” The pink mare bounces up and down, before stopping and looking at my silly again.  “What’s wrong with your face?”

I drop my fake grin.  There is no use trying to fool this mare.  “Look, Pinkie, I just came her to ask if you could cater my wedding.  Can you?”

The Pink mare rolls her eyes.  “Well duh, of course I can!  Like Vinny said, ‘There’s no way she’ll say no to a wedding!’  Which is true, of course!  I can’t ever say no to my friends, especially if they’re getting married!  I mean, who wouldn’t want a wedding cake made by me?  Crazy ponies, that’s who.  Now come on, the party’s inside!”

My hooves freeze up and my eye twitches.  “H-how did you know she said–”

The mare just continues to push me inside.  

“How did you know?!”

Once inside, I’m immediately blinded by a wall of streamers and balloons.  Above the counter, a large banner reading ‘Happy pre-wedding party party.’

I go over that statement mentally.  Yeah, I was right.  “Pinkie, isn’t that one too many parties?”

“There can never be too many parties…”  The mare says in an oddly strangely dark tone.  

I decide that it is in my best wishes to not question the part, and simply continue to follow Pinkies guidance.  I look around, and notice that there are quite a few ponies present.  I turn to the Pink One.  “Pinkie… we want to have a small wedding.  We really didn’t want that many ponies knowing about it.”

Pinkie smiles impossibly wide.  “Oh, I know.  This is small.  After all, I did only tell half of Equestria.”

My eye twitches.  “H-half of our entire country is considered small to you?!”

She nods.  

I facehoof.  “Well, I’m guessing that not all of them could come anyway considering there isn’t that many ponies here–”

The door bursts open, and I turn around to see the last pony I expected to see at my party.

“Huzza!” Princess Luna cries out, trotting into the threshold with a burst of magical energy.  “Your Princess of the Night™ has arrived!  Let us begin the fun!”

My head slowly creaks to pinkie.  “Pinkie… w-what is Princess Luna doing here?”

She shrugs.  “Well, I did say half of Equestria.  And Luna is half of our government, so…”

I go to argue, but can’t.  Somehow her logic actually makes sense for once… I shake my head.  “I would ask how you got a princess to attend this party, but I figured I’d just get a vague answer stating that ‘you have your ways’.”

She shakes her head.  “No, I sent her an invitation.”  She rolls her eyes.  “Not everything I do has to be so complicated.”

I ignore all of the faults in that logic and simply roll my eyes, biting my tongue as I turn away from the pink mare and make my way towards the punch bowl.  I hope this is alcoholic…  No?  Consarnit.

“Fair Octavia!”  Says a voice so powerful I almost get knocked off my hooves.  “We wish to congratulate you on your betrothal!  May we see the gift that your suitor presented to you upon your proposal?”

I smile.  “Certainly.”  I turn my head.  

Luna inspects the earrings with a glint in her eyes.  “Oh, my!  Your suitor has a most refined taste in modern jewelry!”

“Thank you, princess.  She got them custom made to match my eyes and cutie mark.”

Luna blinks.  “So your suitor is female?  We are not against this, as even back when we never understood the bigotry against the same gender relationships.  It is a silly, baseless hate, one that we have tried to eradicate from our land.  Love has always been love, no matter how far you go back.  Though, ourselves prefer the gender of stallion as our lover, but mares can be equally satisfying in the bedchambers!  We remember this one time when we bedded a young female Griffon." She shudders, a goofy smile appearing on her lips.  "Her talons were simply divine for the pleasuring of our–"

And then I started to tone out the, uh... intimate experiences of our Lunar Diarch.  By the time she finished, my face is bright read, and Pinkie, well… she just seemed to look confused.  

"Wait, so the dragon put his what where, again?"

Luna goes to reply, but I cut her off by shoving a piece of cake in her mouth.  "Please enjoy this piece of cake!!!"

The door burst open again, and this time, the other half of our government strolls in.  Princess Luna looks at her sister and scoffs.  “Sister!  What art thou doing here?  Need we remind you that we were invited to fair Pinkie Pie’s party, and not you!” Her mouth goes wide.  “That makes you a party crasher!”

Princess Celestia looks back at her sister with dejection spelled out on her face.  “I’m sorry, Luna, I didn't not mean to intrude, but… well I just had to come and try some of Pinkie’s delicious cake.”

Luna levitates a huge chunk out of the cake and taunts her Celestia with it.  “The cake is most delicious, sister, and it is all for us, not you!  Because you weren’t invited!”  Luna scarfs down the chunk of cake in a most undignified manner.  “How do you think fair Octavia feels about you coming in here unannounced and eating her cake!”

I start to sweat as the Princess of the Sun™ looks expectantly at me.  “I, uh… I don’t mind!  Help yourself, princess!”

She smiles at me. “Thank you, Octavia.  Congratulations, by the way!”  Celestia approaches the cake, levitating a knife that sat besides the cake to cut out a piece for herself.  As soon as the knife touches the frosting, the cake pops as if it were a balloon.

“Ha-ha!  The cake was a lie!  I have pranked you, sister!”

But… how?  I just… I just ate some of that cake!

Luna proudly marches up to Celestia.  “We knew you would try to crash the party, jealous that you were not invited, and try to abscond with the delicious confectionary!  So, we have booby-trapped the cake!  Now, you get none!”

Celestia wipes the exploded cake from her muzzle, licking it off her hoof.  “Indeed, sister, you have tricked us… just like we knew you would!”

Another cake appears over Luna, falling on top of her head and covering it entirely.  

Celestia smiles.  “It appears that you have gotten your just desserts, Lulu.” She giggles, watching her sister wipe the cake from her head.  “And you thought you could get one up on me–”

Her gloating was cut off as a huge chunk of cake smacked into her face, followed soon by a blur of midnight blue fur.  Princess Luna pinned her sister to the ground, rubbing her sister's face into the cake that had landed on the ground.  “You are ruining this party, sister!” Luna screams.

Celestia soon counters, flapping her wings and getting enough leverage to throw her sister off of her, another cake appearing besides the white Alicorn as she stood up on all four hooves.  “This is why we can't go out in public, Luna!” She chanted back, tossing the levitating cake in the direction of her sister.

I watch from the sidelines as both sides of our ruling family fought one and other, throwing cake and pinning the other in one way or another.  As I watched the two fight, my trust and faith in our government slowly began to decrease with every second.

Finally, both sisters stand on opposite sides of Sugarcube Corner, each one covered muzzle to hoof in many different colors and flavored of conjured cake and frosting.  A mess of cake gore lays in between the two, each one gazing angrily at the other.

They stand there for a few seconds, completely still, before turning and walking towards the door.  

“You should apologize for making a mess, Luna.”

“Me!  But you are responsible for beginning our scuffle!”

“I just wanted cake!”

“And now you are wearing it!”

The arguing continued as both sisters trot outside of the pastry store, frosting covered hoof prints mapping their path.

Everypony stood still for a moment, seeming to process the situation, before shrugging almost in unison, some continuing as if nothing had happened, while others helped Pinkie clean up the mess that our Princesses had created.

Me, on the other hoof.  Well… I really didn't know how to react.  My brain is having a hard time processing what exactly had just transpired, and the fact that I seem to be the only pony that this bothered by this want helping!  Is… is this a normal occurrence in Ponyville?  You know, I don’t want to know the answer to that.  Maybe ponyville isn't the best place to get married...

The door opens once again, and I brace myself for more shenanigans.  However, instead of Discord floating through the door, Vinyl trots in with a purple maned unicorn in tow.

“Woooaaa… what happened here?”  Vinyl asks as she carefully steps around cake debris.

“This would explain why the princesses were arguing while covered in cake…”  The unicorn says.  Once they weave around the battlefield, the mare smiles at me and shakes my hoof.  “Ahhh, Miss Harmonious, darling!  It is so nice to meet you!  And congratulations!  I’m Rarity, and I must say I am simply honored to have the pleasure to plan your wedding!  I will assure you that you will not be disappointed.  I will make sure that it will be the best day of your life!”

My eye twitches.  “Is that normal?”

Rarity tilts her head.  “Is what normal, darling?”

I shake my head.  I think that already answers my question.  “Never mind.  Thank you, Rarity, I’m sure Vinyl has already told you the details?”

“Absolutely!”  She levitates a notebook in front of her.  “I already have the perfect location in mind.  I’ll make sure to inform Rainbow Dash to not schedule any bad weather, and you don’t have to worry about the catering, Pinkie will handle all of that.  If you want, I could maybe get one of the princesses to wed you two.”

I quickly shake my head.  “Oh no, that’s ok!  I think I've seen enough of them for a while, thank you very much!”

Rarity looks taken aback.  “But Octavia, this is a chance of a lifetime!  Just think, you’d be wed by the Goddess of the Sun herself, or maybe even the Moon!”

I shake my head again.  “Nope.  Nopenopenope.” I take a deep breath.  “Noooo!”

The white unicorn gauges my response carefully, but then shrugs.  “Very well, then.  I guess the Mayor will be wedding the two of you, unless you have any objections, of course?”

“Is she normal?” Is my only response.

“Uh…” The unicorn begins, seemingly unsure of my question.  “Yes, I believe?  Though, to be completely honest, there is no such thing as truly normal.”

I hold up a hoof.  “No, that is all that I needed to hear.  She will do fine.”

Vinyl looks me over, “You okay, Tavi?”

I shake my head.  “I just watched our deities engage in confectionary warfare.  I’m not exactly sure about anything, anymore…”

Just then, the door to the pastry shop opens, and a little yellow mare trots in, followed closely by… you’ve got to be kidding me.

Discord floats into Sugarcube Corner, quietly chatting with the yellow mare.  “Oh, dear Fluttershy, our weekly racket ball game was simply wonderful this time… Hang on.” He stops floating, reaching down and scooping up a bit of cake.  He scans it over, before taking a quick lick, spitting it out almost immediately.  “Yuck!  It seems that the two princesses got a little carried away.  Nopony else can possibly conjure up this horrible of a cake.” He shakes his head, disappointed.  

“Oh my, they sure did make a mess,” Fluttershy says as both of them head up to the counter.

I watch the Spirit of Chaos, float past me, and then I turn and begin to trot out the door.  “That’s it, we’re getting married in Detrot, or the moon!  Anywhere but here!”

Vinyl follows me, stopping me just as I trot out the door.  “‘Tavi, what’s wrong?”

What’s wrong?  Ha!  “Oh, I’ll tell you ‘what’s wrong.’  I have been in this town for just over an hour, and in that time from I have not only lost respect for our government, but also had the literal embodiment of disharmony casually stroll past me!” I huff, throwing my hooves up.  “And I feel like I’m the crazy one since I'm the only one who seems to notice!!!”

Rarity giggles.  “Oh, darling, I do apologize.  Our little town is a little… different, to say the least, but that’s just what makes it all the more fun.  Ever since Twilight came to town, everything started getting crazier.  At first we all thought the same as you, but it didn’t take long to get used to it, considering Pinkie has been living here for quite a while.”

“Yeah, Tavi,” Vinyl says, “You need to loosen up.”

I deadpan.  

Vinyl rolls her eyes, letting out a loud sigh.  “Fine.  If it bothers you that much, then we can move it to somewhere else, I guess.”

I let out a sigh of my own, shaking my head.  “No… No.  We can do it here.  You seem to be really into doing it here, and… Well, I guess it isn't that bad…”

Vinyl pats me on the back.  “That’s the spirit!  Now c’mon, let’s get some lunch before we go home.”

I gulp.  “The food here isn’t going to be something crazy, right?  Like cupcakes with hot sauce on them or something?”

Pinkie bounces beside me, “Hey!  Don’t knock ‘em till you try ‘em!  But if you don’t want cupcakes, I can make you a cherrychanga, or chimicherry, or–”

“I think, I’ll just settle with a caesar salad, thank you!”  I take Vinyl’s hoof and drag her out of the shop. “Come along, Vinyl!”

(\/);,,;(\/)

My face plants into the seat of our private train car, a loud groan escaping my lips.  When I first met Pinkie, I was a little weirded out, but just shrugged off her shenanigans.  Soon after, I met Moondancer, and I never thought my life could get crazier.  This, though, this town is something else.  Never had I thought that the princesses of our great kingdom spend their free time hurling cakes at each other.  Never had I thought the God of Chaos, who had once ruled this nation in a state of disharmony, spends his free time playing racket ball.  Ponyville isn’t just a small town on the edge of the Everfree forest. Oh no! Ponyville is something else outside of our normal realm.  

I lift my head up from the seat cushion and look to Vinyl.  My face then plants into her shoulder.  “Vinyl, I’m taking a nap, and I’m using you as my pillow.”

She shrugs.  “I’m cool with that,” she says, resting her head on mind.

I snuggle close.  “You know, after all that has happened in the past…” Huh, how long has it been, anyways?  It feels like a lifetime ago since Vinyl dragged me out of the edge of death.  To be honest, it's almost as if i’d only truly lived since then.  My life… my life has changed.  For the better, absolutely.  “It doesn't matter.  What matters is that since you have come into my life, you have truly changed me.  I was once… well, I really wasn't the best of ponies.  I let my pride get the better of me.  But you taught me humility, reconnected me with my family, and given me the greatest gift of just being there for me when I needed it.  I know this may sound a little corny, but… you truly are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” I chuckle, turning to look her in the eyes.  “Though, I do have one thing that I never really asked you: why did you do all of this for me?”

Vinyl kisses me on the cheek.  “Oh, there were a few reasons.  I saw a broken mare who was so far deep in a hole that I couldn’t just sit there and not help.  You were-are an amazing musician.  You worked so hard for everything you had, and you didn’t deserve living like that, not one bit.”  

“Yes, but… why did you put up with me?  I belittled you, made fun of you, was as big of a burden on you as possible.  And yet… you didn't kick me out.  I know I would have.  But, why didn't you?”

Vinyl looks out the window, taking a few moments to answer.  “I… I'm not gonna lie, there were a few times that I wanted to throw you out a window.”  She chuckles nervously.  “And there still have been moments since.  But, when I feel that way, I think back to that first moment I saw you.  When you were broken, when you were about to kicked out into the streets, I saw the first glimpse of the true you.  I knew that deep down, you were just a scared little pony, afraid of what the future would hold, and frustrated that life dealt you a shit hand.  I knew that, in time, your life would get better, and you would be happier.  You just needed… a little push.”

I feel warm tears run down my cheeks, and my heart threatens to beat right out of my chest.  “Vinyl… you are ten times the pony I could ever hope to be.  You’re patience, generosity, general kindness, and big heart is something that I wish I had.  You see the best in ponies, even when Nopony else does.  You… you truly are the greatest mare that ever lived.”  I wipe away a few tears that manage to escape.  “I don't know how a pony like you could love a… a rude, arrogant, selfish, bint like myself.”  I snuggle myself closer to her, pulling her into a tight embrace.  “I love you, Vinyl.  I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Tavi.”  

And with that, all of my willpower fades away like the setting sun.  I let loose, my pride temporarily crumbling as I throw myself into my loves hooves, holding her tight and bawling my eyes out into her mane.  I don't care about image.  I don't care about what the world sees me as.  I don't even care if I could never play my cello again.  As long as I had this mare by my side, I know I could be happy, no matter what the world threw at me.

And so we sat there in a loving embrace, a comfortable silence hanging in the air.  The lush fields of the Equestrian countryside softly roll by us, the gentle sounds of rails clacking against the train’s wheels softly lulls me in my loves hooves.

I’ve probably been asleep for a few hours, I’m not sure.  When I look back up at Viny, she is still awake and looking out the window.  Her face is contorted in such a way where she looks like she’s mulling over something serious.

Before I can ask her if anything is on her mind, she speaks up, “Hey, Tavi.”

“Yes, love?”

She hesitates, “Do you… do you ever think that… I don’t know, maybe one day you ever wanna… have kids?”

My ears perk up, and I sit up straight in my seat.  “Kids?”  I repeat.  Kids… children… a foal of our very own.  Truthfully, I have thought this over once or twice.  After watching over Ironwing for so long, I’ve thought about what it might be like to have a foal of my own.  I never usually think too hard on the subject, but it has float by before.

I smile at Viny.  “Sure, Vinyl.  One day, maybe, we can adopt a foal.”

She shakes her head.  “No, I mean… Of our very own.”

I raise an eyebrow.  “Last time I checked at least one of us is missing the parts necessary to make that happen.”  Unless I managed to miss something that major during our, ahem… intimate moments, I don't think that is exactly possible… right?

She looks away, blushing from embarrassment.  “Yeah yeah, I know, but… well I am a unicorn and…”

“... Don’t tell me there’s a spell to–”  I facehoof.  “There is isn’t there?”

She nods.  “Moondancer taught it to me when we were… yeah.”

I desperately try to purge my mind of any and all images of that sort.  All must burn… everything.  Forget everything except fine dining.  Fine dining, and breathing.  I shake my head.  Where did that come from?  I bring a hoof to my lips and clear my throat, hiding my blush.  “Well… I’m not opposed to the idea, I guess.  Except, well… which one of us would carry it?  The foal, I mean.”

Vinyl pauses to think my question over.  “I… I don’t know… we both could, theoretically.  It just comes down to: who wants to be fat for a year?”  She unconsciously grabs her stomach.  “And, honestly, I’m kinda scared of pushing something outta there, y’know?  Like, if she was a unicorn, would she stab me?”

I roll my eyes.  “Fine, you big baby.” I lightly tap her on the shoulder.  “But you do know that dealing with a large, rampaging, hormonal earth pony will be a far worse punishment than carrying the child could ever be.”

She shudders.  “Hehe… maybe a child isn't the best idea…”

I roll my eyes.  “You can't back down now.  I've already made up my mind.”  She whimpers, a I put a hoof to her chin.  “You’re going to make a great mom, I know that.  It's me I’m worried about, to be honest.”

I shake my head.  “But let's not get obsessed about this now, though.  We can think about this in greater detail after the wedding.” I blush.  “But, uh… we should test the spell first.”  I blush deeper, adding, “J-Just to make sure it’ll work, I mean!”  Oh Celestia, what am I saying?!

I see Vinyl’s blush slowly shift into a smirk, and I hear our cabin door lock.  

I look at Vinyl, my cheeks flushed completely red.  “V-Vinyl?  W-Why are you smiling?”

I hear a poof of magic, and all I can get myself to do is let out a small, “Meep!”