Far From Home
Chapter 14: In Which the Punchline is This Website
Previous Chapter"You're telling me that you have the best Twilight Sparkle cosplay ever, but you don't even know her voice actress?" Tara's newly met friend asked in disbelief. Tara was still confused on the concept of this universe; her equine version was the subject of a children's show. Accompanied by a mass following of man-children that cared more about the show than the original demographic. Donna had just explained to her that the same mass following also created tons of fan made content, and she would have been unconvinced if she wasn't standing in a giant showroom that contained said fans.
This dimension got her thinking; if the pony version of herself was watched intently by humans, is she being watched by ponies as a children's cartoon in their universe? Was this event even significant at all? And if anyone was watching this as a show, would they know about her dimension traveling? The questions that were raised had confused the girl enough for her to ignore the girl that she had just met.
"Hey Tara, did ya hear me?"
"Oh, sorry. I guess I'm kind of new," the newbie answered, "I didn't expect that many people here."
"Ah, first time convention-goer," she said, putting her hand on Tara's shoulder. "Don't worry I'll show a new brony the ropes." Donna had grabbed Tara and pulled her away to another area of the convention floor.
"First things first, we have to show your costume off." Donna explained, "it's just too good to keep to ourselves." The Rainbow Dash impersonator dragged her to a shabby resteraunt booth where a group of two guys had been eating greasy burgers. They looked up from their fast food to acknowledge the return of a friend.
"Hey, Donna, who's this lovely lady?" One of them asked, he had black, curly hair, a gray beanie on his head with Rainbow Dash on it.
"Shut up, Charlie, and chew with your mouth closed." Donna scolded, leading Tara to believe they were related or just really close enough to be rude to each other, or maybe it was just this universe's culture to be rude and obnoxious to each other. Considering the fact that she had participated in an awkward conversation in the bathroom, she was willing to believe the latter. "We're going to enter the costume competition, and we're gonna win."
"Sure thing, Miss Merkin," the second guy answered, confirming Tara's suspicion on being rude. Donna had instinctively grabbed her rainbow wig and tugged on the scratchy fibers.
"Nice one," the one known as Charlie complimented, extending his fist to the other guy who bumped it in return. Donna seemed offended, making Tara guess that a "merkin" wasn't a good thing.
"Anyway, this is Charlie and Dennis." Donna introduced, pointing to the two of them.
"Sup," Charlie greeted. He then turned back to his food.
"Howdy." Dennis added, waving his hand whie taking a sip of soda.
They talked for a bit, while Tara sat on the side just listening. Tara got a look of the restaurant, it seemed that the food was low grade and was produced quickly. The idea of the poor-quality food had confused her since her universe only had family owned businesses and top ranked restaurants. She was in the middle of the analysis of the area before she was asked a question.
"What's your favorite episode?" Charlie asked, provoking Tara.
"Uhh..." She stalled, "I can't pick just one. They're all pretty awesome." She congratulated herself on coming up with a successful way to postpone any
"Mine's 'Ponyville Confidential.' " Charlie answered, hoping to help Tara out.
"Really? 'Bridle Gossip' was a better episode," the other combated, giving his opinion.
" 'Return of Harmony parts one and two,' best episodes ever." Donna explained arguing with her friends. They argued against each other, making the situation strange for Tara.
The girl in the wig took a swig of soda from a plastic cup, much to the annoyance of Charlie. She gave him a teasing wink before dragging Tara out of the cheap food establishment. The newly raven-haired girl was brought back into the convention hall filled with many people that mostly stood in lines. She heard people compliment her "costume." Of course there were some people that were using their own creative abilities to imagine a human Twilight Sparkle.
"Twilight wouldn't wear that," an overly obnoxious guy said to her. Tara was slightly bothered since she was technically a version of Twilight, and she wasn't about to let any random guy give her any advice on how to dress.
"I'm pretty confident that she would." Tara responded. "But in your mind what would she wear."
"A sweater vest duh," he said full of confidence. "And that's because she's smart."
"Okay. Since when does wearing a sweater vest indicate that you're smart?"
"I don't know, I just imagined her as a schoolgirl."
"Right... It's totally not the fact she's an independent adult that's not even affiliated with her old school anymore other than the mandatory letters to the Princess." Tara fought back, pointing out his stereotypical design choices. The fan quickly shut up and turned away.
"Dude, you showed him," her companion in this universe said in awe. "And you're new to this fandom?"
"Judgement Day!" Donna shouted, anticipating their rank. Tara felt confident that they were at least going to place. Anyone else would as well if they went to a look alike contest of themselves.
"It's only been thirty minutes," the other half of the contest entry reminded, staying somewhat grouchy.
"The hour of reckoning has arrived," she rambled on.
"And the winner of our Friendship is Magic costume contest is..." The announcer stalled, as a sort of tradition with all types awards ceremonies or prizes. "The Pegasister Alliance with their human rendition of the mane six!"
"Them?" Tara asked aloud, surprised by the loss, but then again they were out numbered. It still angered her that the inaccurate costumes of the Alliance managed to win. Tara remembered on her entry that she nitpick end each and every one of their costumes.
"Applejack wouldn't wear that. It's too revealing! Seriously, who harvests apples looking like they were just attacked by a wolf that ate their clothes?" Tara pointed out, looking over the costume of a girl with blond hair, extremely short shorts, and an orange flannel shirt that was tied up to display her... Jiggly bits. "Come on, and speaking of overly sexualized girls, just look at Rarity!"
"Tara, calm down. You're making a scene."
"And look at me-uh I mean Twilight. She looks like-"
"Okay that's enough of that! Lets go get you something to eat? You look thin."
--
"It's called a Big Mac." Charlie butted in. He placed a lazily wrapped sandwich in front of her. The other two convention goers had just managed to calm Tara down after her winded session of ranting. The name of the cow filled patty igniting a spark of recognition in the girl. She eyed it before removing the wrapper, she studied it for a good twelve seconds and took a bite if it. The iconic meat patty tasted different than anything she had back home.
"This is good, what's in it?" Tara asked, taking another bite of a large burger.
"Let's see, genetically modified tomatoes, lettuce, unnatural cheese, some "secret" sauce, and processed cows." Donna answered, hoping to freak her out. It worked, as her eyes instantly widened.
"Cows?" Tara asked, spitting out the bite of the hamburger.
"We don't eat cows where I'm from," she clarified, wiping her tongue with an extremely dry napkin. The two guys looked at her with strange smiles; they had seemed to enjoy her plight that involved eating meat.
"So you're a vegetarian?" Donna asked, feeling sorry for her friend. Donna put her hand to mouth in shock as she thought of the idea of absent mindedly feeding a vegetarian meat.
"Yeah, it's kind of my fault, I should have noticed." Tara said, attempting to forget the taste of an innocent cow. She knew some other people in her universe had eggs, but she didn't like the taste. Her younger and older brothers on the other hand ate meats, and it had bothered her a bit that they were so casual about it. They used the lame but valid excuse that they needed protein to go on. "If you're going to be the captain of the royal guard, you need to build muscle, and protein equals muscle." He would always say when the girl would scold him about red meats.
"Look I'm so sorry about that," she apologized, stretching out "so" enough to seem like she was sincere.
"Let's just not bring it up." Tara requested.
"Soooo." Dennis said quietly. "Do you have any friends with you?"
"No, I'm alone." Tara said truthfully.
"Now that's a shame. A lady like you shouldn't be alone." Charlie flirted.
"It's not going to happen Charlie," the girl of the group chided.
"Going to conventions alone sucks dude," the guy known as Dennis advised.
"I'm just kind of glad I met you guys."
"Damn straight!" Donna shouted.
"What'd you guys think about Princess Twilight?" Donna asked.
"Princess?" Tara asked, confused by the strange statement.
"Don't even mention that. I choose to believe it's fake." Dennis moaned.
"I think it's awesome, and she deserves it." Charlie argued. They both presented their opinion, one said that Twilight would out live her friends and watch them pass on while she stays young forever. The other argued that everything would be just fine, and to trust the writers.
"Can someone explain this?" Tara asked, stopping the short session of bickering.
"Twilight's becoming an alicorn princess in the season finale." Donna answered, pressing some keys on her phone. The Rainbow Dash look-alike showed her a picture of a familiar purple unicorn with a styled mane, a shiny crown, and most importantly wings. The alicorn seemed to have been waving to a crowd while a little caption read,
#Ponyprincess
"I'm not sure it's a good thing or a bad thing." Tara said, realizing that she might've just seen a peek into her future, but then again, she couldn't have known how accurate their predictions were. Tara chuckled nervously, as if there are people that actively dictate the lives of sentient ponies for the entertainment of others.
Right?