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Far From Home

by Space Jazz

Chapter 12: Subspace and Magic Do-Hickeys

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Subspace and Magic Do-Hickeys

        "It's okay human, I won't bite... Yet," she said with a slight chuckle. Tara wondered what kind of universe was she in. The human was unsettled by the comment made by Celestia.

"How did you get in the garden?" Celestia asked, her head cocked in confusion.

"The window." Tara said flatly, chuckling to her inside joke.

"You know, I thought humans were extinct." Celestia said in a slow whisper.

"Why would you think that?" Tara asked, figuring out that humans and ponies might have coexisted at some point in this universe. Celestia laughed to herself as she continued to pick the flowers.

"It was a shame. They were quite the delicacy." Celestia said, licking her lips hungrily.

"Oh shi-" Tara was cut off by two large stallions restraining her. In the midst of the surprise. she dropped the little pod. She watched in horror as she was being dragged into a large kitchen. Her kicking and screaming had no effect on the brute strength of the stallions."Being eaten by my teacher. It's a funny way to die." Tara thought.

"Yup, nothing sounds more wrong than that." She joked to herself.

Looking throughout the clean kitchen, she planned an escape route.

"Slowly roast the human, get the spices ready! Iron Gut, put down the mallet! That's after the roast. I'm dealing with imbeciles! I feel like Celestia purposefully assigned you morons to me." A stallion with a neatly trimmed mane, blue eyes, and a very familiar accent. Iron Gut seemed messy, he had a rather thick body type, his mane was short but was still a mess.

"You're going to roast me! Why don't you just boil me alive!" Tara screamed, she panicked but her strength wasn't enough to combat the guards. After a  ill-fated attempt to set herself free, she was quickly tied up on a pole.

"Boiling? That's actually not a bad idea," Iron Gut said smiling. "Somepony bring in the giant pot!"

"I didn't mean it literally!" Tara yelled, trying to prolong her death.

"Strike the pot!" he yelled again, although nopony listened to him in the first place.

"I'm not really that edible anyway!" Tara said, "I mean look at me! I'm scrawny, there's no meat here. Nope, none at all." Nopony bothered to listen to the human's stalling. The frantic cooks just rushed around, looking for the correct ingredients.

"Somepony, bring the buttered daisies." He ordered.

"Somepony bring in the fluttered chaseys!" Tara yelled, mocking the accent.

"Stop that," he said annoyed. The chef continued to spew out orders.

"Bring in the cheese from Fillydelphia."

"I could use some philly-cheese steaks."

"Now you're getting on my nerves human," He spat. A vein clearly visible on his forehead.

"You know, I go great with some olives and parsley." Tara joked, it was probably the only thing she could do at the moment. If she could at least get the ponies distracted, it will give her a shot at escaping.

"Someone shut her up!" He yelled with rage. A mare trotted up to her with a bright red apple.

"No thanks. I'm stuff-" Tara was once again interrupted, this time the apple was forced into her mouth. The human scowled the best she could behind the large apple.

"Miss Cook Book, look in the study to find any books on how to properly  prepare a human."

"Yes chef Ramsley." The mare known as Cook Book nodded, before leaving the room. Tara made sure to spit the apple back at Cook Book, but her actions were repaid by another helping of apple. She sighed in frustration, she felt she was going to die here. Spitting the apple out, Tara decided it was now her time to escape.

Tara carefully slipped her hands so they were above the knot. Tara made sure the sounds of her magic were muffled by her fake coughing. After her hands were free, she knew she needed a weapon. Something blunt. Tara looked around for a brief moment, when she finally spotted the chunky colt she almost smiled with delight.

"Hey Iron Mutt!" Tara yelled, effectively getting the attention of the colt. He looked annoyed, yet he dangerously swung the meat cleaver in his hoof not too far from her. Tara did her best to keep her face as far away as possible from the cleaver.

"My name's Iron Gut," he said annoyed at the insult. The mallet still near her head.

"Would you do me a favor and scratch the tip of my nose? It's getting really annoying." Tara asked, putting on her most innocent smile.

"Why does it matter? You'll be dead in a moment's notice." He said with a slight chuckle.

"Oh just do it," she said sharply, leaning back on the pole with a sly smile. The colt did as he was told, leaning in closer. His random act of compassion was returned with an energy powered fist in his face. Tara leapt away from the pole, making sure to take the mallet away from the pony that was knocked on the floor.

Tara bolted away from the kitchen. Luckily for her, the layout of the castle wasn't much different than her own universe's. Angry orders of "catch her," or "You idiot! You let her get away!" came from behind her. She didn't dare look back, she made sure to run back to the garden where the pod was left behind. Turning the last corner, Tara finally spotted the small machine. Tara laughed in relief, she caught a second wind and rushed faster to the silver pod.

Her hopes of escape were quickly ruined by the magic aura gripping her leg.

"So close," she groaned. Struggling against the stronger magic, Tara held her grip on the floor. She was lifted upside down into the air, getting an awkward feel of the air around her. Celestia smiled to herself, shaking Tara around in her magic.

"But so far," the princess said rubbing in the capture. Tara crossed her arms and pouted, not expecting her journey to end like this.

"What were you even going to accomplish?" Celestia chided, mildly amused at the attempt for freedom.

"Just trying to get out  the way I came in." Tara did her best to keep the princess' attention away from herself. The human pointed her hands towards the pod and allowing the small machine to fly right to her. The sound of Tara's magic muffled by the small talk between the two.

"You'll make an interesting feast at tonight's banquet."

"Oh really? Will I be served naked with an apple in my mouth?" Tara asked sarcastically.

        "Actually, I was thinking I could use your head as a nice centerpiece."

        "Really!? Can you do my hair?" Tara asked, with faked enthusiasm.

        The pod returned to Tara's hand with the aid of her magic. She clutched the machine for dear life. Right before she was able to get away, she was dropped on her back. The human gasped, trying to get her breath back.

        "To think a human can case this much trouble." Ramsley scoffed, the assistants trapping Tara in a hogtie.

        Tara began to cough violently, faking a serious illness. The wheezing and hacking being faked.

        "What's wrong with her?" Celestia asked, holding Tara's face in her hooves.

        "Me-medicine." Tara coughed, purposefully making her voice sound grainy.

        "Well, get her her medicine!"

        "Why, we'll be killing her in a moment?" Ramsley said, taking the pod away.

"At least when we kill her it'll be a painless process."

        "Fine whatever you say princess," he said. Giving the pod back to Tara, her hands still tied behind her back.

        "Well, go on release her." Celestia said, gesturing to set Tara free.

        The ponies soon realized they made a mistake when the human stood back up.

"Buh-bye now," Tara said, they looked at her in astonishment. She waved goodbye, smiling at the same time. Her lavender magic activating the pod, much to the shock of the others. The ponies tried their best to subdue her, their efforts returned with meeting the tile floor.

--

The same blue subspace surrounded her, the many universes made Tara groaned in disappointment.

"When the book said infinite, it meant infinite." She said jumping back into another universe.

"This place doesn't seem half bad," she said. looking around the room she was in.

The room was sterile, reminiscent of a hotel room, the only light came from outside of the window. Tara noticed a bright pink bed ahead of her.

"Lucky me," she said. Tara plopped down onto the pink bed, expecting to feel a soft mattress. Instead she felt a smooth plastic. She jumped off of the bed and walked over to a purple lamp. To her surprise the lamp was also plastic.

"Please let it be a world made of plastic, and not what I think it is." Tara said, hoping she wasn't right. She walked over to the window, once again the window was made of plastic. But what shocked her more was what was on the other side of the window.

A gigantic eye.

On closer inspection, the eye was a bright pink and a mix of purple. Tara was too scared to find out who it belonged to.

"Mommy! I want this one!" A youthful voice begged. The voice was familiar, yet slightly higher pitched.

"Alright Celestia, I'll get you this one." A maternal voice said with a small chuckle. The whole room began to shake, sending Tara bouncing around the room. Again in the confusion and darkness. the human had lost that small pod again.

"I can see how this is going to play out." Tara said annoyed. Tara got a better look at this "Mommy". She had an all white coat, Red mane with split bangs, and her cutie mark that was a quill dipped in ink.

Her brief moment of seeing the mother turned her attention to the daughter. It was an exact image of Princess Celestia as a filly. The same eyes, mane and smile. Tara didn't know whether or not to be comforted by the fact of Celestia buying her. Tara felt the box being placed in a shopping bag face down. Tara got a good look at the contents of the bag, surprisingly the only thing that really caught her attention was a cake that read:

Happy birthday Celestia!

"That's nice, I'm a birthday present, that's a lot better than being served with a side of butter." Tara reassured herself. The walk to the check-out line wasn't as long as she had expected it to be. There, a lanky slim colt stood at the counter.

"Let me ring these up for you," he said. a weak smile on his face as he rung up the items.

"Ah, My little Human. I'm also a fan of the show, great animation values, clever plots." he said, his smile growing wider. Celestia instead hid behind the legs of her mother.

"Come on birthday girl. Give me a brofist." He said, extending a hoof to the filly.

"Go on bump hooves with the nice colt." She said, nudging the filly. Celestia complied, but she hid back behind her mother right  after. Tara was confused, then she wondered if children really did watch over her life.

"Isn't My Little Human a little girl's show?" Asked the mother innocently.

"You're never too old for a good show."

The ride home went by at an interminable pace, Tara could only hear the rhythmic steps of the ponies that had purchased her. There were occasional instances where Celestia begged her mom to open the present early. Each time there was a response of polite rejection, and a groan from the filly. Tara used this time to go searching for the pod, after about five minutes Tara finally found it. Unfortunately for her, the box was once again picked up and shaken once more.

Her point of view was now changed to a table with the large cake she became acquainted with. There she saw the mother, Celestia, and another alicorn. This one had a midnight blue coat, and an all blue mane, she looked younger than Celestia. The blue alicorn's eyes drifted towards the cake. Luna and her mother went through the regular traditions of a normal family birthday. Tara dreaded what was about to come next.

"Alright Celestia, time to open your presents."

"Yes!" Celestia squealed, she reached for the box that held Tara in it. Tara did her best to smile like a normal doll would. The loud rumbling caused the human to almost break character. She didn't want to psychologically damage the little filly. Celestia's magic surrounded the human. lifting her up to her face.

"I think I'll name you... Twilight! Twilight Sparkle." She said with a pleased nod.

"Very funny universe." Tara said to herself, keeping the solid smile on her face.

"She's just like the one in the show." Luna chimed in.

"That confirms it, ponies watch my private life." Tara said annoyed. Celestia made sure to take the box with all the accessories with her upstairs to her bedroom, Luna following close behind. There was about an hour of Celestia brushing Tara's hair with a ridiculously large comb. Luna asked Celestia if she could at least see "Twilight".

"No," she said, using her magic to make sure Luna couldn't grab Tara.

"Just for a little bit," begged Luna. Celestia continued to refuse to share Tara with her. The two fillies began to argue, butting heads over Tara. The human was afraid when she figured out what was about to come next. The magic of both alicorns grasped her, one grabbing the waist and below, and vice-versa for the other.  The force of both alicorn's magic wasn't enough to tear Tara in half, but it was enough to stretch her about an inch or two taller.

"It's mine!"

"Share!"

"Never!"

"Just for a minute!"

"Girls! If you two are going to argue over a small toy, I guess I'm going to have to take it away." The two fillies let go of Tara in fear, sending her free falling towards the ground. Tara closed her eyes as she was coming closer to the ground at breakneck speeds, except her death didn't come. She was met with magic surrounding her, this time it gently lifted her into the air and away from the children.

After the mother was away from the children, she did something Tara didn't expect.

"I know what you are," she said, looking at the "toy". Tara stayed frozen, thinking it was better off if she didn't move.

"Don't worry little one, you're safe. They can't get you," she reassured. Tara sprung back to life finally trusting the colossal pony. The mother put the human on the nearby counter, putting Tara in an upright position.

"W-what are you going to do with me?" Tara asked, fear present in her tone.

"Nothing, I'm leaving you to go." She said sternly.

"Well thanks. Just one favor, could you bring me the box and place its contents here?" Tara asked innocently. The alicorn nodded and walked away, presumably to retrieve the box. Tara sat alone, thinking about the universes.

"I can't decide which universe was worse, Being a part of the food chain, or death by playtime." Tara sighed. Her thoughts were eventually interrupted by the alicorn walking in with the box.

"So are humans being sold like toys?" Tara asked, wondering if this was the cruel reality of this world.

"No I guess it's just you," she answered. "So what are you doing exactly?"

"Traveling between dimensions. Really complicated stuff, trying to get home." Tara explained quickly.

"Well good luck human," she said. Smiling enough to get Tara to cheer up. Tara found the pod, the small silver device that has led her into bad situations twice.

"Please, let the next universe be better than this." Tara begged the cosmos, activating the machine with haste. She grew used to the whole subspace business, the luck of the draw was the mechanics of these universes. Jumping into the most sane looking universe.

--

"Well of all places, this is so far the most dirty." Tara stated, looking at her surroundings. She figured she was in a public restroom. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she decided to check the universe out. She noticed major changes in the overall aesthetics. First of all the universe she was in was not anything like hers; the world being extremely vivid and detailed. The world seemed to have been darker, since none of the cartoonish aspects were present.

The girl stood up from the side of the stall and walked out. She thrust her face into the sink to clean herself up slightly. When she looked up she noticed her purple hair color was changed into a raven like black color. Tara still had the purple streaks in her hair; an iconic trait of her that kept the same. Her eyes were unchained, and the brightness of the color was amplified by the universe's looks.

"Woah! Your Twilight cosplay looks perfect!" A voice from behind shouted. It was female and it seemed to have been glad to see her. She also happened to have been dressed up as someone else. She had a sky blue tank top, athletic shorts and running shoes, but her most notable feature was a thick, scraggly rainbow wig that was clearly fake. Small patches of brown hair were sticking out of the wig.

"Uh, thanks?" Tara said, half confused by the fact that her pony self was mentioned, and she had no idea what the term "cosplay" meant at all. The rainbow wigged girl pulled out a phone, grabbing Tara and brought her into frame. The stranger then proceeded to stick her lips out in a crude way; Tara on the other hand tried to copy the expression. The result was an awkward photo of Tara with a strange look and the girl mimicking the face of a duck.

"Just wait here while I handle my business," she said before stepping into a bathroom stall. There was the sound of water hitting water and small talk from the girl in the stall. The cosplayer  had a certain eccentricness about her, presenting an almost delightful attitude.

"I became a fan of Fim like... A year ago, when a friend of mine introduced me to it."

Tara droned her out from that point.

"I'm a brony and I'm proud. And I refuse to be called a pegasister! It's a terrible term and it only splits up the fandom..."

Tara ignored her again.

"You know. You tend to bond with someone while your at your most intimate. I mean we could be best friends by now. You're a great listener, did anyone ever tell you that?" There was a flush from the stall and the girl stepped out, extending her unwashed hand to the dimension traveler. "Name's Donna."

"Tara," she said, and without thinking she shook the dirty hand.

"Just like Tara Strong!"

"Who?"

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