Dash Quixote: Mare of La Mancha
by Enclave2277

Chapter 1

It was early June and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were eager to start their summer vacation. It would be a summer filled with countless adventures for the crusaders. It would be shenanigans to the rest of Ponyville, whose citizens were well acquainted with the trio’s well intentioned deeds that often ended in chaos. One mare in particular was already calculating how to best rid herself of their company, for she had many dresses to make and had little time to entertain the three rambunctious fillies. Rarity sighed to herself trying to banish such selfish thoughts; after all it was unbecoming of the element of generosity to think such things. She loved Sweetie Belle with all her heart but sometimes she needed some Rarity time. Sweetie Belle and her two compatriots had gone straight to the Carousel Boutique after they had been let out of school, since their arrival they had taken to lending their hooves at dress making, but failing miserably. The antique clock on wall struck five; it was nearing dinner time when Rarity got an idea. An evil grin spread across her normally tranquil façade as she knew exactly who could watch over the crusaders.

“Oh girls would all of you please come to my workroom I have something to discuss with you!”

No sooner did the words leave Rarity’s mouth; a loud clopping of three pairs of hooves could be heard on the wooden stairs leading up to the workshop on the second floor of Carousel Boutique. The crusaders all stood in front of Rarity, their eager eyes staring at her intently as if they were soldiers waiting for orders.

Rarity cleared her throat trying to regain some of her composure at the fillies’ sudden appearance. “Ahem…well I’m glad all of you came upstairs so quickly. I have a proposition I’d like to discuss with all of you. You see darlings; I am simply far too busy right now to supervise all of you so I’m afraid you will have to have your sleep over elsewhere.”

Sweetie Belle upon hearing her sister’s complaint began to give her sister the patented puppy dog eyes the all but guaranteed to bend anypony to her will. “Aww but sis you promised.”

Rarity bit her lip feeling rather guilty about breaking a promise to her beloved sister, but there was work to be done. “Now Sweetie, I know that I promised but I have quite a bit of work to do and I can’t finish my dresses if I have to supervise your sleepover. Before you start to cry, know that I have a backup plan. Instead of having your sleep over here, I shall take you to Twilight’s house. I’m sure she would be more than happy to accommodate all of you, not to mention that Spikey-Wikey might possibly make dinner.”

After ten minutes of packing, Rarity led the crusaders to Twilight’s house hoping that the librarian mare wouldn’t be too annoyed to have the three fillies dumped on her doorstep. Rarity made a mental note to purchase a gift for Twilight when this was all over, mostly for the sake of alleviating her own guilt. Rarity took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

“Good evening Rarity I wasn’t expecting to see you here at this hour. What can I do for you?”

“Umm good evening to you as well Twilight, I was wondering if by chance you could possibly do me a favor.”

“Sure Rarity, anything for a friend.”

Rarity laughed nervously. “Yes…well you see I have a rather large order of dresses that I simply must finish and I promised Sweetie Belle that she could have a sleep over tonight with Scootlaoo and Applebloom. I must confess that I really need to concentrate on my dresses and I can’t really do that if I have to fillysit errmm…I mean host their slumber party. It is possible for them to have their slumber party here darling?”

“I would love to have them over. It’s been so long since I had a slumber party. I’m sure Spike won’t mind the extra company either.”

Twilight’s eyes went wide in surprise as Rarity threw herself to the ground kissing Twilight’s hoof. “Oh thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! You have no IDEA how much this means to me Twilight. I shall repay you for this I swear it!”

Twilight held up her slobber covered hoof. “Umm sure Rarity it’s no problem. Good luck with those dresses.”

Twilight turned around to see that the crusaders had already come inside the library. As luck would have it Spike was inside the kitchen at this point, making pancakes. Spike had always insisted that they have breakfast for dinner every so often and it just so happened to be that day when the fillies arrived. Lucky for both Twilight and Spike the crusaders loved pancakes and they were easy to make.

After everypony (plus one dragon) had finished their dinner, they all made their way to the main chamber of the library. The crusaders looked bored to tears, clearly expecting to do something exciting tonight but Twilight knew better than to let them run amok, it would only cause chaos and destruction. The only thing she knew well was books and if Rainbow Dash could get interested in books then who was to say the CMC couldn’t. Twilight needed to find a book that would capture their imagination, possibly an adventure story much like the Daring Do series. It was then that she remembered one of her favorite adventure books: Dash Quixote: Mare of La Mancha. Certainly it was an old book, written four hundred years prior by the author Maneguel de Cervantes but it’s recounting of heroic tales are just as relevant and exciting in modern day Equestria as they were when it was first written. Twilight smiled as she levitated the old tome onto a coffee table in front of the couch the crusaders were sitting on.

“Girls, I’ve thought of something we can do to help pass the time. I’m going to read you one of my favorite stories.”

Scootaloo was the first to complain. “What the hay Twilight? I thought we were supposed to be doing something fun. Books are for eggheads…totally not cool.”

“Now Scootaloo, not all books are boring. In fact this book is about a brave knight who goes on a quest fighting monsters and villains. It’s kinda like those Daring Do books that Rainbow Dash likes, but this story is a lot older.”

“Hmm really? That actually sounds pretty awesome. Ok I’ll give it a shot.”

Sweetie Belle rubbed her chin in thought. “My sister likes to read those books sometimes, but they usually get kinda mushy at the end. I do like knights though they wear pretty armor and flowing capes.”

“Alright ah guess readin’ can be interestin’ every once and a while.”

Satisfied with the responses she got from the crusaders, Twilight proceeded to open the book. “Our story begins four hundred years ago in the far away land of Espoñya…”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Province of La Mancha, Espoñya

Somewhere in La Mancha a gentlemare lived not long ago. She was one of those mares who kept a lance and an ancient shield on a shelf. She would eat only the simplest of foods, mostly hay slightly spiced and the occasional salad. This would consume about three fourths of her income. The mare was a retired weather pegasus by the name of Rainbow Quixada, famed for her speed in days gone by. She lived on a modest cloud estate accompanied by her close friend Cloudkicker. Compared to the often busy and exciting life of a weather pegasus, retirement afforded ample amounts of free time for the mare. Rainbow decided to stem her boredom by investing in books. The subject of these books concerned chivalry and knight errants that traveled the land for riches and glory. One such knight whose exploits enraptured the attention of the mare was that of the brave and noble Gallant Go, who was said to have slain dragons with a single blow. She read these books with such devotion and enthusiasm that often times she forgot about the administration of her estate and even went so far as to sell off tracts in order to cover the expenses of newly purchased books. In short, the poor gentlemare became so caught up in the tales that she spent her days reading from dusk till dawn, her brain dried up causing her to lose her mind. The truth was that when her mind had completely gone, she had the strangest idea any lunatic in Espoñya could ever have. It was reasonable and necessary to her, both for the sake of her honor and to the service of the nation, to become a knight errant.

Her purpose was to seek adventure, righting all manner of wrongs and by seizing the opportunity and placing herself in danger to end those wrongs, wining eternal renown and everlasting fame. Having decided upon her purpose she set about finding the proper vestments to equip herself with during her noble crusade. Rainbow decided to dig up her great grandfather’s ancient royal guard armor. It was quite rusty and battered due to years of use and neglect. She cleaned the armor and helmet as best she could and placed them upon herself. Next she needed a weapon, with which to defend herself and defend others. Rainbow’s kin once again provided for her. She took her great grandfather’s ancient rusty lance and affixed it to her back along with an old shield using a strap. All that remained was to give herself a noble title. Rainbow wanted the title to reflect her nature and to proclaim where she was from. She decided to dub herself Dash Quixote: Mare of La Mancha. Any knight who would wish to seek adventure needed to have a mare to profess their love to. Dash immediately thought of the attractive peasant mare she had been in love with so long ago, her name was Crepúsculo de Brillo. Dash thought it appropriate to name Crepúsculo the mare of her thoughts. She decided to call her mare Dulcinea of Stabloso, because she came from the town of Stabloso.

As Dash was trotting down the road she realized that she was not yet a true knight. Remembering her books on chivalry, she recalled that a knight had to be dubbed. Such thoughts made her waver in her purpose, however the madness inside her mind was so much stronger than any other faculty that she resolved to have herself dubbed a knight by the first pony she met. Compounding her resolve she began to speak.

“O Dulcinea, mare of my heart! You have done me grievous harm in bidding me farewell. It breaks my heart to be robbed of your presence. May it please you, Dulcinea, to recall this subject heart, which suffers countless trials for the sake of your love?”

Dash strung together her foolish words in the manner which the books of chivalry taught her, doing so very slowly. As a result her traveling pace was so sluggish and the sun rose so quickly that it would have melted her brains, if she had any left.

Night was soon upon the land of Espoñya and as such Dash felt the need to find food and lodgings. She spotted a humble inn on the road she was traveling and decided to go there for the night. As Dash came upon the entrance of the inn, there stood two young mares along with some merchants who were on their way to the next town. The two mares were the kind that many ponies would consider having easy virtue. Despite this, the poor deluded Dash Quixote believed them to be high born mares of Canterlot, the inn a castle. Immediately after seeing the pair Dash was greeted by a sheep herding colt, blowing a horn to corral his quarry. Upon hearing the horn Dash believed it to be a dwarf heralding her entrance to the castle. The mares seeing the strangely armored rainbow colored adventurer trotting up to them were alarmed and about to retreat inside the inn, when Dash sensing their trepidation decided to lift the visor of her helmet and address them in a gallant manner.

“Flee not, dear mares, fear no villainous act from me. The order of chivalry for which I adhere to does not permit such deeds against any pony, least of all such highborn mares such as yourselves.”

The two mares looked at each other and began to laugh uncontrollably, for such words to be spoken to them was quite alien considering their less than virtuous profession. The laughter began to offend Dash and moved her to speak once more.

“Moderation is becoming in beauteous mares, and laughter for no reason is foolishness, but I did not say that to cause you trouble, for my purpose is none other than to serve you.”

Upon hearing the crazy adventurer speak nonsense one again the two mares began to laugh even louder with renewed fervor. At that moment the owner of the inn heard the laugher and decided to come out and see what the commotion was about. He was a pudgy stallion with a light green coat, a brown mane and a tankard cutie mark. Fearing the countless difficulties that might ensue he proceeded to speak politely with Dash.

“If your grace seeks lodging except for a bed (because there were none at the inn), a great abundance of everything else can be found here.”

“For me good Stallion, anything will do.” Dash replied.

“In that case, your grace’s bed must be rocks and your manner of sleep a constant vigil. You can certainly come inside for reason enough to rest a night let alone a year.”

Dash made her way inside partaking of some food and drink without too much trouble. The food was terrible to say the least but to her addled mind it was a feast fit for a king. One thing still bothered Dash as she ate her food; she still had yet to be dubbed a knight. She was tired and wished to rest and so she asked the inn keeper if there was a room she could watch vigil over her arms and armor. The innkeeper, being a crafty stallion, told her no but she could go outside the inn and sit next to the water trough with her belongings. Dash took off her armor and placed it on top of the small water trough, sitting calmly. The innkeeper had informed the rest of his patrons that the mare sitting next to the water trough was insane, but some of the merchants paid no heed to this as they made their way outside to get a drink.

One of the merchants made his way over to the trough and noticed that Dash’s armor was sitting on the trough. She noticed the merchant approach and shouted in a booming voice.

“O you, however you are, rash knight, who comes to disturb the armor of the most valiant knight who ever took up a lance! Look at what you are about to disturb, if you do not wish to forfeit your life.”

The merchant thinking Dash nothing more than an annoying crazed mare, picked up the armor and flung it a few meters away from the trough. In response Dash lifted her lance and smacked the offending merchant in the head, knocking him unconscious. Dash calmly walked over to her armor and placed it back on the trough. A couple of minutes later a second merchant, equally as thirsty as the first approached. He too decided to remove the armor from the trough and was swiftly smacked by Dash’s lance. The other merchants noticing their wounded comrades began to hurtle stones at Dash, the innkeeper meanwhile began to shout at the merchants reminding them that the adventurer was insane. Meanwhile, Dash became further enraged and began to shout at the merchants.

“You filthy lowborn rabble, I care nothing for you; throw, approach, come, offend me all you can, for you will soon see that you shall pay for your rash insolence.”

The combination of the shouting innkeeper and Dash’s bold statement had settled the rage of the traveling merchants. The innkeeper grew tired of all the antics and decided to grant the adventurer her silly knight’s title, if that meant she would be on her way. So the innkeeper ordered one of the mares of the night to take Dash’s lance and dub her a knight, it took everything the mare had to not burst into fits of giggles. With that Dash trotted off back to her village in high spirits having accomplished one of her goals.

While Dash was away on her quest, Cloudkicker decided to call some of the town guard to inspect the house and destroy any of the offending books that had driven her friend to madness. While under normal circumstances many of the books would not have warranted such treatment, this was a special case. Cloudkicker believed that all of the books were to blame for her friend’s ailment and every last book was condemned to become little more than ashes. Dash returned to her estate to find her library devoid of any books. She became quiet and two weeks passed by without incident. During that time Dash approached a neighbor of hers, an orphaned pegasus colt who had been living by himself for years. He bore a coat of orange and a somewhat frizzy purple mane. It was rumored that his parents had died in an unfortunate grain harvesting accident about three years prior. The colt himself was fairly skilled at farming so he got by, if just barely. He was a good natured colt, if not a bit naive. The colt clearly admired Dash and decided to become her squire. His name was Sancholoo.

As the Knight and her squire trotted through a nearby town, Dash smiled at Sancholoo and in a bold voice proclaimed: “Sancholoo, my brave and noble squire we must tell the world of our purpose!”

“Your grace, how may I ask that we do this? Surely everypony in this town would not be able to hear us.”

“My friend, the answer is that we do not tell them. We shall sing of our purpose in a heroic ballad. Singing makes one’s message about twenty percent more glorious! Fetch the guitar my squire!”

Sancholoo pulled out an acoustic guitar from his saddle bag and began to play a jaunty melody as his master began to sing.

Dash Quixote

Hear me now

Oh thou bleak and unbearable world,

Thou art base and debauched as can be;

And a knight with her banners all bravely unfurled

Now hurls down her hooves to thee!

I am I, Dash Quixote,

The Mare of La Mancha,

My destiny calls and I go,

And the wild winds of fortune

Will carry me onward,

Oh whithersoever they blow.

Whithersoever they blow,

Onward to glory I go!

Sancholoo

I'm Sancholoo! Yes, I'm Sancholoo!

I'll follow my master till the end.

I'll tell all the world proudly

I'm her squire! I'm her friend!

Dash Quixote

Hear me, griffons and wizards

And draconic kin!

All your dastardly doings are past,

For a heroic endeavor is now to begin

And virtue shall triumph at last!

Sancholoo & Dash Quixote

As the wild winds of fortune

Will carry us onward,

Oh whithersoever they blow,

Whithersoever they blow,

Onward to glory we go!