Chapter 79

“Odio?”

“Yeah Dave?”

“Why am I naked again?” Dave whimpered in fear as he poked his head around the city gate, only a sword covered his decency. “I am not going to get through unnoticed.”

The busy streets of Canterlot were packed with stallions, mares, fillies and colts. “Well they are naked, so why can’t you be?”

“I feel a bit uncomfortable walking through a street with only a sword and a bracelet,” Dave shook his wrist, showing the silver bracelet as it hung loosely from his arm. “Can you fly to the castle and find some clothes for me?”

Odio hummed before shaking his head, “Nah, it is just too funny watching you do this.” Odio began floating up as he chuckled, “See you back home!”

Dave stared as Odio flew away and left him to suffer, “Oh I am going to make you pay so much.” He growled in annoyance as he looked around the city again. Taking a final breath, the human dropped his head and began walking down the main street, his sword held close to his body.

The guards standing by the main gate had to hold back laughter as they saw the naked human walk past. The citizens were busy in conversation or were focusing on shopping, they stopped what they did as they saw Dave.

The normally loud street was reduced to silence as Dave became the centre of attention. Most ponies were stunned, not sure how to react, only the guards seemed to be sniggering at Dave’s misfortune.

The only thing that worried Dave was the fact that one or two mares in the large crowd were blushing. He gripped his sword tighter as he gave a nervous wave, “Hey, slight mishap with a… monster… well that’s what I was told.”

A restaurant door opened and Fancy Pants strode over, “I have a private booth inside, hurry along.”

“Thanks,” Dave said quickly as he was ushered into the restaurant, he walked past a few upper-class ponies that were eating and was guided behind a pair of curtains. Fancy Pants was chuckling as Dave took a seat at the large table.

Dave took one of the napkins from the table and used it to cover his indecency. “So how have you been?”

“I’ve been well,” Fancy Pants calmly nodded to the waiter as he poured the posh pony a glass of wine. The waiter indicated to Dave and the human quickly nodded. The waiter poured a final glass and left it near an empty seat.

Fleur de Lis stepped through the curtains and stared at the scene before her, “H-hello Dave.”

“Hey,” Dave took a large sip of wine. The new arrival glanced between the curtains and saw the small crowd that had gathered outside.

Fleur de Lis gasped as idea popped into her head, she quickly took her seat and whispered something to her husband. Dave shuffled nervously as Fancy Pants slowly smiled along with his wife.

“Say Dave… would you like to partake in some charity work?” Fancy Pants smiled as Fleur de Lis took a slow drink of her wine.

“Maybe,” Dave eyed both ponies suspiciously. “What does this… charity work entail?”

“A calendar,” Fancy Pants smiled as Dave slowly nodded. “You have amassed quite the following, I’m sure ponies all over Equestria would buy it.”

“Oh,” Dave shrugged. “Alright, for charity I suppose.” The human began drinking some more of his wine.

Fleur de Lis leaned closer to Dave, “Naked?”

Dave began coughing as he choked on his wine, he hit his chest a few times before staring at the smirking unicorn. “Are you insane?”

“Word is that many mares… and a few stallions, have come to see you as more than just some strange creature,” Fancy Pants was supported by Fleur de Lis’ nods. “A spicy calendar would definitely bring in lots of money.”

Dave nodded before he held up a hand, “Are you insane?” He repeated calmly.

“We would only make a few hundred,” Fleur de Lis smiled at Dave’s nervousness. “We would sell them at a price that meant only ponies that were serious would obtain a copy.”

“You are both insane,” Dave sighed. “I would have said yes to a marathon or something like that but a calendar? What makes you think I would want to do a nude calendar?”

Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis both stared at Dave’s naked body and the human clutched his napkin tighter. Fleur de Lis sighed, “Think it over, we need something better than another auction and Photo Finish has been quite restless for an ambitious project.”

“I agree but we have to remember that Dave still has the say in this,” Fancy Pants kept his wife in check as the unicorns exchanged challenging stares.

“I’ll discuss it with Celestia,” Dave rolled his eyes, “Can I borrow a curtain?”

Fancy Pants nodded with a smile as he winked at Fleur de Lis. Dave kept the napkin close to his dignity as he tore down one of the long curtains and tied it around his waist, he picked up his sword waved to the posh ponies as he left the restaurant.

The crowd moved aside as Dave began walking towards the castle again, he kept staring forwards as he avoided making eye contact with any of the staring ponies, at least there were less stares than when he was completely naked.

The castle seemed much further away that Dave remembered as he slowly sped up in effort to get to the safety of the castle faster. The large gates that stood between Dave and the courtyard opened as he approached, the guards smirked as Dave thanked them and ran into the castle.

“Odio?” Dave called down the halls. He waited for a response but was never replied as he sighed and began walking in the direction of Celestia’s chambers. He passed a few maids and servants as he made his way and finally the pair of guards that stood guard outside the door.

Dave sighed happily as he entered the familiar bedroom, he threw his sword aside as he fell to his knees and began kissing the floor. “Oh I am never leaving the safety of home ever again,” Dave smiled as he removed the silver bracelet from his wrist and placed it back on the desk.

The sounds of hooves approaching made Dave smile as he looked over and saw the door open. Celestia and Luna stepped in with a few bags levitating in mid-air, the alicorns slammed the door behind them as they glared at Dave.

“Here is your shopping,” Celestia glared as she threw the bags against the sofa and they fell to the floor in a small heap.

“Uh… thanks,” Dave rubbed his hands nervously. “Has uh… something happened?”

“Yes, you thinking you can tell us what to do because you have Dave’s body,” Celestia snarled. “When do you plan to fight Harvest anyway?”

Dave stared at the floor before he realized, “Oh you mean my dad told you about that?”

Luna and Celestia stared at each other before they both realized what had happened. They both smiled as they walked over to Dave, the alicorns both raised their hooves and smacked either side of Dave’s face.

“OW!” Dave clutched his sore jaw as he looked up at the growling princesses. “What happened?”

“You went into Tartarus!” Luna yelled.

Dave nodded, “Wouldn’t recommend it.”

“You had your mind cut in half,” Celestia snarled. “We had to deal with your survival instinct while Harvest had your emotions!”

“Really?” Dave rubbed his head. “That sounds… bad.”

“It was,” Luna sighed. “Are you ok?”

Dave nodded. “Had to walk through the city naked but I think my dignity will hold.”

Celestia looked down at Dave as she saw the curtain he had turned into a temporary clothing. “Do you remember much of… Tartarus?”

“I remember… going a bit weird,” Dave hummed. “And I think I have been put off meat forever.”

Both the alicorns sighed happily as they exchanged thankful smiles and leaned down to kiss Dave’s cheeks. Dave rubbed both their necks with his hands as he smiled up at them, “Well I am happy to be back after a year in that hell.”

“A YEAR!” Both alicorns slapped Dave again and he fell to his back as he held his head. Dave nodded as he sat up, briefly explaining his entrance, the markings, the time differences and the warden. He left out mentioning his bet with the warden as he allowed the alicorns to apologize for hitting him again.

“I had almost forgotten that bad surprises do this to you,” Dave smirked as Celestia narrowed her eyes and playfully stuck out her tongue. Dave’s face suddenly beamed as he looked back up, “Oh yeah! And afterwards we would!”

Dave was cut short as a blushing Celestia wrapped her hooves around his mouth and smiled innocently at Luna. “I am just so happy to have our lovely Dave home again.”

Luna stared at the pair suspiciously, “You used to… mate, didn’t you?”

Dave and Celestia both glanced at each other before Celestia shook her head and Dave nodded. They exchanged another short glance before Dave shook his head and Celestia shamefully nodded.

Luna blushed as she looked down at her hooves, “Well I don’t want to break your tradition but… I did slap Dave too.”

Dave’s smile got even larger as he caught on with what Luna was saying but Celestia wrapped a wing around his head as she gasped at her sister. “Luna, I thought you wanted your first time to be special!”

“Was yours?” Luna rose her eyebrow as Celestia slowly rubbed circles on Dave’s chest using one of her hooves.

“Well we did take that step right after that incident with me… killing Dave,” Celestia sighed. “I wanted to make up for doing what I did, and it made me realize how important Dave is to me.”

Luna rubbed her hoof along her leg. “W-well Dave just came back from Tartarus and he is more important than life to me.”

Celestia looked down at Dave before smiling. “Well I don’t think it would be fair to intrude on your first time.” Celestia released Dave and smiled at Luna, “I can make up for lost time on our honeymoon anyway.”

Luna blushed as she looked at Dave, “W-would you like to… you know… with me?”

Dave stared at Luna before he smiled nervously, “Of course… are you sure though?”

“You are acting like when we first made love,” Celestia sighed as she jabbed Dave with her horn. “Now go with my sister and make sure she enjoys herself, I don’t like leaving anypony disappointed.”

Dave clutched at his curtain as he stood and exchanged nervous smiles with Luna. “Are you sure Celestia? I couldn’t live with myself if this would upset you.”

Celestia kissed Dave as she smiled, “I know you would never hurt me, you even threw yourself headfirst into Tartarus because you worried about me and Luna.”

“Thank you,” Dave whispered before he turned to Luna. “So… you sure?”

Luna smiled happily, “I have never been surer of anything in my entire life.”

Dave walked ahead of Luna, the princess of the night turned to wink at her sister before jogging to catch up with Dave. Celestia sighed as she was left alone in the room, her eyes wandered over to the discarded sword in the corner of the room.

Celestia wandered over to the blade and hummed as she tapped it with her hoof, she flinched as the blade violently shook and slid away from the princess. She looked at her hoof and saw a neat slice through the bottom of the golden regalia.

The princess stepped away from the sword and decided to leave it where it lay. She looked back at the shopping bags and sighed as she began sorting out the contents. She pulled out various items but had to take care as she pulled out a suit, for Dave as the black trousers were way too narrow for anypony else.

The princess hummed happily as she unpacked, placing a pair of black shoes beside Dave’s suit. She paused as she noticed the silver bracelet on her desk, she wandered over and run a hoof against the metal as she smiled.

Then a curious thought popped into her mind, she bit her lip as she glanced at her balcony window and the telescope outside. Her naughtiness got the better of her as she trotted over and pointed the telescope at another point of the castle.

“Woops,” Celestia smiled innocently. “It appears to be pointed at Luna’s bedroom, how odd.” She placed her eye to the telescope and let out a small squeak as she began blushing. “That’s… new.”