On a dark highway walled in by trees, a Model-T People’s Car trucked along in the right lane, its left-rear tire swapped out for the spare. It had four doors and a squared, closed-top cabin; the couple in the front wore a black suit and a black dress which, coincidentally, matched the color of their car. The back seat, normally occupied with their son on one side and groceries on the other, tragically held neither. Several bouquets of flowers were scattered on the back seat, covered by a board framed in a mosaic of sepia-toned photographs of the son they lost.

The wife huffed in annoyance as she chafed against the hemp-cord seat belt tied around her waist. Their car was much older, and they lived in a rural community; it didn’t have three-point safety belts or a speedometer, since the powers that be realized that their car would never break highway speeds anyway.

The husband, driving the car, spoke little aside from the words ‘Tie your seatbelt, honey.’ In his mind, the image of his son was still burned in his brain; lying peacefully in his coffin, a flag of the syndicate covering the lower half of his body. The timid man, who worked as a clerk for the town’s hardware store, grit his teeth as he wished he had the balls to do something about his anger… but impeding the ongoing investigation would solve nothing.

WHEEEEEEeeeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeeeeee!

Apparently, he never even noticed the cop car recessed past the treeline until he saw the glowing red lights and heard the sound of a siren.

“What? What do they want?” his wife intoned as he pulled over, pulling his car's emergency brake and rolling down a window. In the dark, they couldn’t make out the face of the officer as they shut their car off and began stomping towards their family car.

“DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU WERE GOING!?” She barked in their face, completely obscured by the bright lamp she waved in their eyes.

“AH! No, no, it doesn’t have a speedometer!” He barked out, half-panicked as he tried to fish for his wallet. “Not, not that fast, I know that!”

His wife's ear perked up briefly.

BANG!

“AHH!” The husband went silent while the wife screamed in terror. She felt a shard of broken glass cut her shoulder, her whole body jerking to figure out what was going on. “PLEASE, NO!” the assailant seemed doubled over, half-clutching her ears while the wife desperately yanked at her safety belt.

“STARLIGHT, COME ON!” The female officer yelled, and the assailant shakily corrected her posture.

“NO NO N-
BANG!
WAAAAHHHH!” She cried out in stark, bone-chilling terror as she desperately clutched the bullet wound in her shoulder.

“DAMNIT!” Starlight yelled, frantically trying to open her two-shot derringer. “C-mon, c-mon!” The thing flipped open, and the two cartridges popped out telekinetically.

“For fucks sake!” The mare threw the officer’s hat off to the side in annoyance, pulling a long knife out from under her uniform as she prepared to finish the job herself; all the while, the wife was crying and screaming at the top of her lungs in terror and agony, too scared out of her wits to do little more than attempt desperately yank at her cordage seatbelt.

“UURRRAAAAGH!” Starlight growled in frustration and slammed her derringer into the dirt below; The wife felt her shoulders straighten on their own, forcing her to sit up straight.

“Please, no…” She muttered as she only briefly realized that her shoulders emanated the glow of unicorn telekinesis.

SQUECK!

That was the sound her neck made as her shoulders were jerked counter-clockwise while her head was forced to turn towards the passenger side; it was the sound of cracking vertebra combined with the wet tearing of muscles and blood vessels. In the glow of Starlight’s telekinesis, she could make out the expression of wide-eyed terror in her victims eyes- it made her shiver and drop her grip.

Silence.

“... two shots, two kills, huh?” Diamond Tiara mocked her partner, climbing back out of their car with a scoff while Starlight clutched a hoof to her chest, trying to calm down. “I told you to just bring a revolver! Now how’re we supposed to blame it on our made-up fall guy?”

This highway was convenient because for now, there was only one entrance and exit. Eventually that will change with urban expansion, but for now? The Highway 17 Highwayman was still at large! According to the police reports, a couple key witnesses (paid off) claimed to see a police car fleeing the scene on the night of one of these crimes. And wouldn’t you know? One of the precincts of Featherworth has a squad car on file as missing… Strange, huh?

Starlight was taking deep breaths, holding her hoof to her pounding heart. “G-Gimme a second!” She said, taking slower, deeper breaths and shutting her eyes. “Release their park brake, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Dee, who was distracted by the few streaks of their victim’s blood on her uniform, shook her head to snap out of it. “Sure thing. What’s the plan?” She said, the car wheels shifting a little as the brake was released.

“Pay off the coroner. They never got shot- the cops just misinterpreted the… state of their bodies.” Glimmer spoke with a chuckle, “Stand back, please!”

Under her strong telekinetic field, the car lurched backwards… “Oh, one more thing!” She pulled a small pint bottle of whiskey out of her bag, popping the cork with her teeth and taking a decent swig before setting it in between their victims.

The silence of the night was replaced by cracking wood and glass, along with the buckling of metal as the car was launched head-on into a nearby tree.

Diamond Tiara brought a hoof to her mouth, and Glimmer assumed it was to cover a smirk; in reality, it was to cover her biting her lip as she approached the side of the car to witness the carnage.

Starlight cringed when she peered in “SSStt… ohhh, that doesn’t look good…” Dee nodded, and Glimmer assumed that her partner was simply agreeing with her. On the other side of the car, Dee felt her heart fluttering as she witnessed the mess.

“She’s got an engine block in her snatch…” Dee muttered to herself, imagining the woman's pelvis to be utterly pulverized from her dangerous seatbelt. The man’s seat belt snapped entirely, launching him headfirst through the windshield and into the tree; the shards of glass tore his stomach open, letting his guts flop out all over the wheel and dashboard. Feathers littered the ground, having been knocked loose by the trauma as the strong scent of gasoline filled the air.

She let out a wistful sigh. “Good work.” she said as Starlight smoked a cigarette by their car. “You gonna be good to drive?” She asked, keeping her distance from the cigarette smoke. “I’m getting… cramps.” She muttered to herself, being cautious as to not reveal how turned on she was. “This is why I don’t do this stuff… uugghh!”

“Sure thing.” Starlight said, “After those utter bombshells those two dropped on me, I’m glad to have something to take my mind off it.” She stomped on her finished cigarette as Dee nodded along, too out of it to even ask for details. Having received the news that she was safe to go earlier, Dee had to recruit Starlight if she still wanted to pull this hit off as she'd planned.

“Yeah… yeah, I get it.” Dee muttered, taking the officer’s uniform shirt off and throwing it in their trunk. Glimmer had already started the engine, and was waiting for Dee. “Take me to Silver Spoon’s, if you wouldn’t mind. I had… dinner planned.” Dee said, idly rubbing the bump on her stomach. “The baby’s hungry, if you catch my meaning!” She quipped, half-mirthless.

“Of course! Anything for a friend, right?” Starlight said with a smile, oblivious as to how her partner actually felt. In fact, Starlight didn’t realize it- but Dee had already eaten dinner, earlier that evening.

“Yeah… thanks.”

---

PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP PLAP!

“S-Slower, please!” Dee heard Truffle’s whine from below her; she was pegging him, making out with Silver Spoon while her husband, face down ass up on the bed, was amateurishly eating his wife out.

“Sorry… can’t hear you.” She half-moaned, breaking the kiss with Silver and leaning to whisper in his ear, “You want me to go faster, bitch?” He bit his lip, already feeling like he was about to explode. Closing his eyes, he nodded greedily.

PLAPPLAPPLAPPLAPPLAP!

“You are so small! So s-small and pathetic!” she moaned while he was muttering yes over and over under his breath while Silver decided to take a brief pause to admire the show and catch her breath.

“Gosh, Truffles!” She half-moaned, playing with herself idly to keep her going. “I didn’t know you were such a cute bottom!” Truffles whined, the compliment firing off all kinds of yes signals in his brain.

“I bet you love being dominated by a big, strong mare!” Dee said, planting a smack on his asscheek, causing him to whine adorably. Dee couldn’t help but think how upset he was when he first walked in her fucking his wife. While Silver talked him down, Dee remembered a conversation she had with Silver about kinks… in that conversation, she learned that Truffle’s was bi with a massive cuckolding fetish. He was so upset when he showed up… Now he was a whining, leaking mess below his Empress.

“Ah~Ah~Ah~Ah~AHH~!” he mewled pathetically beneath her, barely able to get words out. Dee felt butterflies of excitement welling up from her groin as Truffle’s began to whisper, chanting under his breath- “I can’t,~I can’t,~I can’t,~” Silver put a seductive hoof to his chin and began to lift gently, making enough room for herself to get under.

“Silvie?” Dee moaned under her breath, wondering what her best friend/ love affair was doing, climbing under Truffle’s and sticking her ass in the air. Dee repositioned her hips so her strap wouldn’t slide out, watching lube leaking down his ass.

“Do it! Come on, baby!” Silvie muttered, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. She couldn’t see dick without them, her vision was so bad… pun not intended. Ironic for a precision craftsmare like her, really. “Cover meeee~” she whined needily while Truffles leaned into her ass for support.

“Ohfuck!Ohfuck!Ohfuck!” he whined under his breath, clenching his teeth and eyes shut. “I can’t, I can’t… can’t ho~ooo, oh, OHHH!” His face scrunched up from the pain in his rear and the pleasure, his orgasm forcing him to tighten his so-called grip around the strap-on.

By the time he was done, Silver’s face and glasses were covered in her husband's spunk. The scent was strong, causing Dee to curl her lips in faint disgust. Silver giggled seductively, climbing out from under her husband to plant a kiss on his panting lips, getting his own spunk on his chin.

“It’s getting late.” Dee said as her dual-affairs seemed like they were mentally preparing for round two. She’d fucked guys before- and for her, this was always the worst part. Everything leading up to it was wonderful; but despite her enjoyment, she really didn’t care much for dick. “You mind if I borrowed your shower?” She asked, a slight tenseness in her voice that sailed over their heads.

Silver nodded knowingly. “Call you tomorrow?” She asked, and Dee couldn’t help but smile.

“Fuck yes!” She said, “I’d kiss you, but uhh… You got something on your face.” Silver couldn’t help but giggle oddly.

“It’s alright, Truffle’s will help clean it… isn’t that right, honey?” She gave her husband a seductive grin as Dee undid the leather straps on her hips.

“Y-yes, honey…” He muttered, and Dee noped the fuck out of there before he started seductively licking his wife’s face clean.

“It’d be hotter if it was mare cum…” she muttered as she sulked into the shower to finish herself off. ‘I wonder if Leona wouldn’t mind licking hers off my face?’ she thought to herself.

As hot water poured over her, she couldn’t help but think of all the dark, depraved stuff she’d like to do with both of them… mainly blood related stuff. She imagined his moaning turned into cries of pain as she fucked him with a dry strap-on. She imagined dipping it in sand first to make it even more painful, his cries for mercy silenced by Silver giving him a bloody nose, pouring down his chin and onto the bed sheets almost as fast as his ass bled…

She had to bite her hoof to keep from screaming out as she finally came, panting as she rode it out aaalllll the way to post-nut clarity… that part came and hit her like a sack of bricks.

“Leona would be so pissed if she figured this out…” she muttered to herself, rubbing the bump on her tummy and feeling disgusted with herself… but the thrill of it?

She took a deep breath, speaking softly to the four-month old unicorn foal growing inside her. “Sorry if I was a little rough…”

---

“Leona? Are you alright?” Who dares disturb my sleep? “Sorry I’m late- Silver wanted to have dinner and I didn’t know you were sick!” Ah, my wife. I gave her a faint grin, feeling weary and a little chilly.

“S’alright.” I muttered, rolling over onto my back and snuggling under the covers. “Can you grab me a tissue and make sure the A/C is off?” My wife, standing by my bedside, dashed to grab the box of disposable tissues and the trash bin. I reached out to try and blow my nose quickly, eager to return to the comfort of my bed covers. “Gaaah! What time is it?” I muttered to myself, glancing at the moonlit clock. 3:48 A.M.

“You feeling alright?” She asked with a knowing smirk, and I rolled my eyes. “Did everything go alright today?” She asked, climbing on the bed and snuggling next to me over the covers. I grumbled as I threw my arm under her neck, allowing her to rest her head.

“No… Terrible, honey… my fuck…” I could feel her heartbeat intensifying, for some reason. “Ma’ walked in on me!” I explained, and she blinked.

“During the meeting?” She asked, and I shook my head.

“No, rubbin’ one out! It was really embarrassing!” I elaborated once more, and my wife facehooved.

“Leona. The Meeting. With Celestia.” My mind, dazed and slow, made her words click a little late.

“Snnnnnnnrk! KYA!EHEHEEE-!” I was laughing like a fucking dumbass while my wife sighed in disappointment, shaking her head as she rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“Leona, I love you with all my heart- but for FUCK SAKES!”
“Ah!”

She screamed that last bit in my ear, making my whole body jerk and tense up. Her hoof never moved from her face- so I instantly felt relieved.

“I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I apologized quickly, making her bury her face in my neck.

“I didn’t mean to yell, I’m sorry. But you need to just… think about what you’re saying more often!” I nodded quickly, and she hugged my side.

After a few moments of comfort, I spoke up.

“The meeting went fantastic. Celestia wanted my guarantee that I wouldn’t attack Equestria- in exchange, she knows we’re gunning for the dragons now. She won’t make any moves to stop it.” She sighed, and I enjoyed the feeling of her warm breath on my neck.

“Good… Good…” She muttered. “You wanna get some sleep? We can talk when you’re better.” I nodded, shutting my eyes already. She kissed my cheek, saying- “I’ll be out in the living room-”

“Oh, also.” I muttered, rolling over and taking a deep breath, too out of it to notice my wife’s strange behavior at the time. “Celestia’s alright. She’s a fucking Roman!” I giggled, “Wit’ a fuckin’ nose that’ll put any ol’ paisan to shame!” And she had some nice, perky tits to boot. It was nice, feeling like my old, skinny human self earlier today- even if momentarily. Discord’s magic is weird- even if I could have my old body back… or my leg back… I wouldn’t make a deal with that fucker. That’s how you wind up as his bride ten reincarnations down the line or someshit. Or maybe you’d get some cursed artifacts that backfire at an incredibly inconvenient time, doing some wacky shit like locking you as the other gender?

Clunk!

My brain barely had time to register that the sound I’d heard was my door shutting. I was too busy focusing on the black void I found myself in… both constricting and expansive… dank, humid, and full of limbs. Flesh sloughed off the bones of strange appendages, so I had to grip my fingers between their bones to climb out.

As I gasped in a breath of air, I crawled onto the shore of blackened sand, leaving gouges in the muck that bled profusely. The smell of rot and decay filled my nostrils… and filled me with an odd sense of longing and nostalgia when I looked back. I looked up at the blackened sun, peering through the fog over the lake like a neon sign in the rain, glowing strangely. I turned around, beholding the massive wall in front of me.

I fell onto my ass in horror, looking to the left and right; I despaired as I saw mile high walls stretching for miles on either side of the coastline, not a single gate or portcullis in sight. I wanted to weep, pining for the comfort and solace of a fucking elevator as I mentally prepared to make the miles-high flight up. God, the things I’d do to be as quick and agile as I was as a kid.

Knock, Knock, Knock.

“Huh?” I looked around, trying to figure out who was knocking. “Wuh?” Where is the door?

Knock, Knock, Knock.

A pale white door appeared floating before me. It was made of wooden planks, held closed with a simple iron latch stretching the length of the door.

I looked back up at the wall, holding my wings close to my body as I pursed my… beak?

“Yeah, fuck that.” The door was basically a lift-and-slide deadbolt, but as wide as the door itself.

My mind cleared instantly as I passed through the threshold, wasting no time in shutting it behind me. Looking around, I saw… books. Many of them dirty, bound plainly with brown leather- the titles of many of them blending together, the letters shifting and changing as you tried to read them. But not only were there books- there were cabinets full of scrolls stacked atop each other in a disorganized fashion. The floor was an exquisite tile mosaic- but it, too, morphed and shifted as I tried to figure out what it looked like. Even the candles on the wall seemed to move, flickering in and out of existence as I looked around.

The only feature which stood still was the candle-lit reading lectern, the large window in front consisting of small glass panes; it had a simple hinged opening, revealing the shifting landscape of empty fields, gray skies, and the occasional indecipherable building.

“Celestia?” Somehow, I knew she was here. It was like an odd feeling in the back of my head, really. In fact, when I focused- she was sitting on the wooden chair next to the lectern, as a human! “This one of those shared dreams?” I asked, and she nodded. She wore a simple cloth dress with short sleeves, her hair tied in a ponytail with some twine. “Fuckin’ awesome! But what happens if I gotta wake up?” I asked, sitting on a cushion that appeared in the blink of an eye. “I uh… I might have to puke at some point.”

She giggled and responded- “For you, it’ll be just like regular sleep. You’ll know if you start feeling signals, like nausea or a full bladder. Welcome to my uncle’s library; my memory’s a bit fuzzy, but it’s some place my brain tends to… default to, I suppose.” I nodded, a lit cigarette appearing between my fingers. “A place of solace in that cold, dreary backwater Britannia.” She muttered disdainfully, seemingly unable to banish the dreary weather outside of the sanctuary; it’s like that’s how she remembered her life in England.

“I take it your experience on the other side wasn’t too great either?” I asked, almost feeling like I was talking to an old friend. Celestia was a human- a real, genuine human! The first I’ve met since I got here! Thank fuck there’s not a bunch of us out there all at once. “Jesus, I mean- where do we start? What… Where?” I shrugged with a grin, looking around the quant place in wonder. I was an amateur history nerd, and Celestia seemed to want to know what the fuck happened to the world! Why else would she invite me into her dream world? “You wanna go first?” I asked, and she giggled.

“Come on… what’s there to say, really?” She shrugged, looking wistfully out the window and forcing the landscape to still itself… revealing the Roman city this private villa overlooked. The only building I could definitively name by how it looked was the Circus track- there was a temple-looking structure reminiscent of the ones they used as pagans, but with a large cross over the pediment. “You enjoying the view? I really have to focus on it!” she said as I breathlessly made my way towards the window.

The buildings seemed to be made of a sort of white-washed tile or brick, each surmounted by red clay shingles and situated packed together in blocks. Many of the finer details were blurred, so it was like looking at a picture of Rome through tears filling your eyes. The walls surrounding the city stretched beyond both ends of the horizon, meaning that the villa was situated and protected within.

“That’s beautiful.” I muttered to myself, seeing a real Roman city before my very eyes! “Must’ve been trippy seeing Catlian architecture for the first time, huh?” I joked, and the two of us giggled.

“Trippy… I guess that’s a word to describe the feeling.” She mused with a shrug, the scene outside blurring further. “I’m glad you think it’s beautiful. She really was- all the way to the bitter end.” she muttered darkly under her breath as the skies outside began to darken, the smell of burning filling the air; it all went away as she shook her head. “Sorry about that. Occasionally during strong memories, the subconscious may ‘butt-in’ so to speak.” she was stroking her hair gently, possibly as a nervous tick of sorts.

I nodded in sympathy. “Fuck knows there’s plenty of shit my brain won’t let me forget.” Once again, a lit cigarette appeared between my fingers I could puff on. Celestia nodded solemnly. “You wanna talk about it?” I offered, and she tilted her head curiously.

“You seem a little… enthusiastic to learn about my past. Why is that?” She was right to be suspicious; I know what my reputation probably is to her.

I gave her a smirk. “Would it help you if I started?” I offered, and she shook her head slowly.

“I just wanna know why, that’s all.” She asked, grabbing a tea-plate and cup that appeared in the blink of an eye off the table, sipping it daintily. “It’s not every day two previous inhabitants of Terra Mater meet like this, but why so curious?” I chuckled, leaning into a chair that appeared in a wink and sipping a whiskey on the rocks; I was a human again, wearing my prison jumpsuit with the top unbuttoned and tied around my waist, a tank top and black bra for a shirt. I draped myself over a comfortable recliner, letting my shoes slide off as I drank. It was odd- there’s no weird morphing involved, or even any sound to indicate when something changes; as a dream, it simply happened.

“That’s just it!” I said, pointing with my glass. “Please, by all means tell me to fuck off if I’m getting too personal; but we’re two humans- that’s what we called our species- the only two on Equus! Not to mention, the two-thousand year cultural differences are fascinating!” I admitted, probably sounding like a fucking nerd. “You’re not even a little curious? But even if not for scholarly curiosity, it may show us similarities that may connect us, potentially leading to insight into what brought us here?” For me, potential answers were simply an added bonus to getting an intimate look into the life of a genuine Roman! But what I said made Celestia stroke her chin, setting the teacup off to the side.

She gave me a smirk and huffed mirthfully. Finally, she looked off to the side with a shrug.

“I was born in the calm before the storm, I suppose.” She mused, and I listened along intently. “It must have been an omen for the times when my mother died during my primogenitus, or at least, I used to think that… in retrospect, it was probably a coincidence. It happened so often that babies simply went unnamed until they passed a year.” She spoke matter-of-factly, unafraid to mention past superstition.

The then looked down, grumbling- “But he named me after our family gentes, as was nearly always the case. Albina- that’s what I was called.” She spoke with disdain- and I couldn’t help but notice.

“You seem bitter about that. Can I ask why?” She snorted, giggling as she said-

“Might as well have just painted a number on my back at that point. Then, perhaps he would have called me Unusia?” She shrugged- “But when mother died, she left me and my father. I was beloved daughter, and he gave me anything I wanted.” She spoke wistfully, and I heard… something. A faint whispering, sounding like a male voice. I think he spoke Latin- so the meaning was totally lost on me. The only thing I could make out was the tone of parental adoration. “He never made me do many chores- even taught me how to read! Hence, my uncle’s library!” She gestured around the room, and I couldn’t help but smirk.

“I take it that wasn’t a common occurrence?” I asked her, and she scoffed.

“About as common as a sunny day in Britannia. I studied law and history books when I wasn’t out playing with the boys in town. Many other women thought I was disgusting, and I never understood why. I’d be out shooting dice or exploring the deeds of the past having the time of my life, while they occupied their time with subservience.” While she explained, I couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re a feminist!” I pointed at her, and she cocked an eyebrow. “It’s a word we used for people who believe in the radical notion that women have rights, I.E- those with common sense.” She nodded, stroking her chin in thought.

“I like that… some things don’t change, do they?” she mused, and I half-shrugged.

“Ehhh… well, actually yeah. Pretty much.” I grumbled bitterly, shaking my head. Celestia just chuckled.

“You know, I actually made decent money shooting dice. Even if I didn’t have money- I offered up my clothes for the wager!” I was… taken a little aback by this.

“You gambled away the clothes off your back?” I asked, and she gave me a wide smirk.

“No no, you misunderstand. I offered up-” She gave me a knowing grin and lifted her skirt up to her knee- “My clothes. To the then-adolescent boys of my town I hung out with.” I nodded, noting that she currently didn’t look much past her early twenties. “I’d either walk away with a bunch of money or have to put on a quick show. Painless either way.” She smirked knowingly, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s Roman strip poker!” Celestia thought about what that meant, slowly cracking up with me. “What d’ya call that dress?” I asked her, “The All-Or-Nothing?” After a brief bout of laughter over Celestia’s cherished human memories, she calmed down and looked off to the side.

“Well… to say I lived in tumultuous times would be an understatement.” She said, and I started hearing the murmur of a crowd of voices, a general tone of unease and uncertainty expressed in a murmur of vulgar latin. “My memory is… hazy, since many a millennia have passed. But what I remember most is when all our soldiers were recalled to the mainland. We didn’t know for what reason- we didn’t know how long they’d be gone.” as she paused, I racked my brain trying to pinpoint when this was, or what event she was referencing.

I decided to give her a few moments of silence, likely preparing herself mentally. If… if she was Christian, that narrows it down to… my memory is hazy as well… Magnus Maximus’ dash for Rome (I think) and… probably the end. Albinus’ little excursion east was much earlier in the Empire’s history, I think. Roman history is neat- I just didn’t study it as much as later European history.

“For… for the last four years of my life, we were nearly completely cut off from Rome. I still can’t decide if everything fell apart quickly like dominoes, or if that was the longest four years I’ve ever experienced.” She spoke, getting my full attention as I finally figured it out… I think this is taking place in the early four-hundreds. In fact, I’m almost certain of it. “All we had left was our city watchmen to defend us. Imports from the mainland ceased overnight- No more garum, wine, iron, no lead to repair our plumbing, and… no more grain, tragically…” I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone look this haunted over a lack of bread.

“No more bread to feed our bellies. No more grain, with which to feed our livestock. No more grain to brew beer with. There were riots!” The haunted tone in her voice came with an uptick in background noise, sounding like a large crowd outside the library, chanting away in Latin… that gave way to muffled shouts of fear as Celestia looked away sheepishly.

My chair scooted forward in the blink of an eye, and I sat up and gently took her hand in mine. The young Albina looked up at me- the 53 year old Trinity- with a soft gaze, and I just gave her a smile. “You don’t have to keep going, you know?” I offered up, and the room calmed significantly as she lightly shook her head.

“Honestly? It’s one more soul that’ll know what I was before all this…” She mused with a shrug, and I nodded, returning my seat back. “The lack of garum was the worst, in my opinion.” She chuckled, “Imagine if you didn’t have access to any salt. That’s what garum was- salty, fermented fish slurry that gets filtered into what was called Liquamen.” I… couldn’t help but grimace as I imagined the smell. “Don’t think I can’t see that look! But don’t feel bad- my sister puked in her mouth when I described the process to her.”

My eyes shot open in realization- “Oh, I wanted to ask!” I interjected, and she nodded. “Your sister. Is she one of us?” She shook her head with a sad look, answering my question quite plainly.

“But anyways… My death. Even if just so we may draw parallels…” She said, looking off to the side and taking a deep breath. “It’d been so long, we were running out of everything. Our livestock turned fields of grass and much farmland into mud, and many of them had to be slaughtered, lest they starve to death. Because so much had been put towards keeping the valuable livestock relatively healthy, selling off wools and fabrics at whatever price they could be acquired for. The smiths in charge of creating weapons, armor, and other goods… had begun to run out of iron. Coffins had their nails pried out as more iron went towards trying to have a proper army.” She took a deep breath while I listened, hanging on to her every word.

“All the while, I was taking care of an infant I… Well, I never wanted a child.” She said with a shrug, “It almost spelled my end… but the little bastard spared me somehow. Spared me, for the fate that awaited me.” She took a deep, heavy breath, letting it out slowly.

“The kid never had a choice in that.” I said, pointing a finger at her… but she just scoffed.

“Judge me for a sentiment millennia old? I’m sure you don’t hide anything unsavory in your past, right?” I just put my hand up.

“Woah, woah, I didn’t mean it like that!” I said, and her glare softened. “That’s just… it hit close to home.” I murmured, looking off to the side.

‘I nevah… nevah wanted a kid!’ I heard Mamma’s voice in my ear, barely above a whisper. I winced, and Celestia gave me a sympathetic look. “She was… very drunk at the time.” I was almost certain she heard it too, just from the apologetic look she gave me. “We made up for it. ‘salright.” I just gave Celestia a smirk- all was forgiven, I waved with my hand.

“Barbarians came in ships from the north seas. The gates were closed, and the city held on for as long as it could. My uncle had a small band of mercenaries protecting his villa, and I spent my last days in this room.” She looked out the window as smoke rose from the city. The smell of burning filled the air once again as the shouts, droning in the distance, started to grow louder. “They held them back for five days. I suspect there may have been a traitor who attempted to bargain with the barbarians… but that’s just that. A suspicion; how else could a city; a walled, Roman city, fall to a barbarian horde so quickly?” She shook her head as the sounds of violence appeared to be emanating from the singular door to the library, which I eyed warily.

“They broke in. Killed my father and my uncle… then they found me-” She spoke frantically, fear tinging her voice.

CRASH!
BANG!

By the time the featureless, shirtless barbarian as Celestia remembered him, broke down the door- I’d already had my old Guardian Angel out, held in front of me with two hands. Maybe my intimate knowledge of ballistics somehow bled into Celestia’s conscious memory- because that viking now has a golf ball sized hole in his chest.

Celestia sat there with an expression of shock, soon melting away into a faint smile. She chuckled, the body disappearing in a wink as she was snapped out of it.

“Goodness me… almost went into a flashback.” She muttered, rubbing the back of her head; I gave her a wide grin, casually holstering the revolver in my waistband. “Are firearms actually that loud? I’ve never been around one firing before!” I simply nodded, unable to wipe the smirk off my face.

“They can get louder. They can get big.” I said, unable to resist. “I’m sorry you almost re-lived that… that’s what would’ve happened? Right?” I think I was kind of getting a vibe on how this dream-crap works. She nodded, regaining her composure.

“Sort of, yes. It’s complicated, and I just can’t be bothered right now.” She leaned back in her seat with a shrug, and I didn’t blame her. “After that, I found myself inside my mother.”

“As did I!” I said, giving her a smirk before saying- “After serving 20 years in prison awaiting my execution. Hence, the jumpsuit.” I lifted the collar to show her my prisoner ID tag, and Celestia did a double take.

“Twenty years?” She seemed surprised as she asked, “How old are you?” I cocked my eyebrow.

“Fifty-three.” I said, and she seemed taken aback. “What? What’s so surprising?” I asked, and she shrugged.

“You just… look young for someone so old.” I held my palms up in confusion.

“The fu- I ain’t that old!” I said with a laugh, “But look! I got gray hairs and crows feet already!” I said, pointing towards the face I remembered for emphasis. “I look my age!” She just snorted,

“Not where I’m from.” She said- and I realized something.

“I remembered reading in a book that ancient people would appear to age faster due to exposure to things like the sun and weathering. I wonder if that’s why you don’t think I look my age?” I asked, and Celestia simply said huh.

“Most fifty year olds from my time were about a week from the grave.” She joked, the two of us sharing a laugh. “Ah, but enough from me! Now it’s your turn to ramble for a bit!”

Well, if she wants me to- I decided that it was time for a change of scenery.

“Mind if we went somewhere else?” I stood up and asked, and she stood up with me. “How ‘bout where I got my education?” I asked, the scene changing in a blink. The mosaic floor widened and turned into large concrete tiles. The walls were cheap plaster over concrete, the windows of both the ground floor and the mezzanine level lined with bars. The rooms entrance and exit was also gated off with bars; the area furnished with tall, dark wooden bookshelves on both levels. Chairs and couches were set out haphazardly, with uncomfortable, angular edges on the sides, along with rows of desks opposite the bookshelves. “Green Dolphin Street prison library. This is where out of a sheer sense of boredom, I learned… everything that doesn’t have to do with being a gangster, really.” I joked with her as a large globe on a rolling cradle appeared between us.

She looked around, seemingly amused by the size of the library. “There’s laws that make it so prison didn’t completely suck. For example, mandatory access to enrichment material, IE- books and stuff.” She eyed the globe curiously.

“This… must be Terra Mater?” she guessed correctly, running a hand across it. She figured out how to turn it, examining Europe closely… seemingly ignorant of what was on the other side. “There’s the boot!” She said, pointing out Italy. Rome herself was marked with a star, as the modern capital of Italy. “The shape is different from what I expected- but it still looks like a boot!” I stood back, impressed- I expected to have to guide her through it as she slowly dragged her finger across the continent, deducing where everything was compared to whatever image she had in her head. She’d mutter place names under her breath, until she finally found Britannia… or, the United Kingdom.

“By this point in history, there are hardly any true ‘barbarians’ in Europe… aside from maybe the Russians, depending on who you ask. The world is, by and large, civilized and modern. In fact, Equus is currently in the early stages of the mass industrialization that brought the comforts of the modern age to everyone.” I moved up next to Celestia, rotating the globe around. “These are the Americas. New York is right here… within the United States.” I said, pointing to those locations while she stared at the map in surprise. “It’s a representative democracy… on paper… modeled after the early Roman Republic, on the idea that all men are created equal… and they really did mean men.” I said with a bitter laugh.

“How fascinating! Not only do we hail from different eras, but different landmasses entirely!” I giggled, unable to stop from saying-

“I told you this would be fun!” I sat back in my chair, relaxing and puffing a cigarette. She pulled up a chair of her own while I cracked my neck. “I was born not too long after the second massive war that spanned the entirety of Europe, almost causing it to collapse economically; the jews almost got wiped outta Europe because the Germans were led by some meth addict who… admittedly had some good ideas, all that other shit aside. But, it was the best outcome for the world when he shot himself in his bunker; otherwise, my father never would’ve been let off active duty, where he would then go on to get my mother pregnant.” I shrugged, while Celestia had a questioning look on her face.

“Germans… The Germanic peoples started a war that spanned across Europe?” I nodded, and Celestia chuckled. “Sounds about right. No further explanation needed.” I laughed at her casual dismissal of the Germans. “I wonder if it’s the colder climate that wiles them up so much?” I just shrugged in response.

“They conquered France for a while, er, Gaul, and basically wanted to invade all of Europe and genocide a bunch of people. Even the gays- so fuck the Nazi’s… er, the German political party. But I mean, it’s not much worse than what the Italians were doing at the time. Although, their earlier fascist ideologies are partially what inspired me to call Griffonia a National Syndicate. They later converted to something else, but that’s not important; they were pouring castor oil down the throats of political dissidents.” Her look of disdain and disgust surely matched mine, both of us cringing at the implication as to what that does. “The intent was to humiliate- and in some cases, they’d first hold them down and beat their asses with sticks until they bled, leading to an awful infection.”

“I… for your sake, I hope you’ve never-” But I interrupted her,

“God no! No, that’s fucked.” I said, and she nodded in relief… though admittedly, my wife’s done worse to other living beings. “No, but anyways… this is the reality of the world my father inhabited. From what little I remembered, the guy was a constant fucking wreck. He’d drink and hit my mother, whole nine yards. Something about the war just… made him so volatile.” I stood out of my chair, and suddenly, the scene was different.

A cool night wind brushed against my bare shoulders, and I leaned against the black iron railings of our apartment's fire escape. The red-brick building sat in the center of a T-intersection, so you could see straight down the street of the old neighborhood. All the storefronts had their lights off, all the cloth awnings receded, and the only light came from the moon and the street lamps… and the late-night pizza joint on the left corner of the intersection, which had Cadillacs parked out front. “Since my mother was a… caring, responsible woman…” I said sarcastically, “I’d often hide out here as a little girl when things started getting heated.”

The sound of a thump and a woman screaming came and went from the background, but I shook my head; Celestia stood up and leaned against the railing next to me, our shoulders brushing together briefly. “But despite all his negative bullshit, we were within the last great economic boom the United States would ever encounter… and we were still fucking broke. But, eh- fuck it. It is what it is.” I said, resting my elbows against the railing and holding my hands together with a scowl.

“Fuck, it just feels so cliche’d! My mother was a cunt, my father was a drunken idiot. Gah, it’s just… I feel whiney, you know?” I admitted with a chuckle, and Celestia shrugged a shoulder.

“I vented to you about my trauma, and it felt nice in the end. There’s no shame in what you went through because for both our realities, it doesn’t matter.” She giggled, and I cocked an eyebrow. “It felt nice admitting I was a gambler and a half-a-harlot, because it bears no real meaning to our day to day lives. Like a confession, in a way- I’m not the pony you think I am… but, all the better, right?” I think I kind of understood what I meant… and I couldn’t help but give her a sly grin. At the time, not able to easily see her face next to me, a realization struck; as she spoke, she used many of the same hand gestures I did, just with more… variety. I guess the Italians have been talking with their hands since the age of Rome. Maybe I didn’t notice because subconsciously, I expect people to move their hands when they talk? Fuck if I know, and I’m off this tangent now.

“Does this have something to do with your Friendship is Magic gospel?” I asked sarcastically, and she snorted out laughter.

“Is that what you’re calling it?” She asked while giggling, “I suppose it is!” Ultimately, I nodded in agreement.

“Like, what… I never understood the big deal of that. Don’t get me wrong, friendship is good- but like…” She turned to me, cocking an eyebrow as I stammered out- “It’s just… why you gotta make it sound so… childish?” I asked with a blush, and she chuckled.

“So only children are allowed to have friends?” She asked with a wink, and I looked off to the side. “The question is, how is this any different from, say… a slumber party?” I just gave her a questioning look. Before I could respond, she continued- “I invited you to my room out of a place of friendship, we’re telling stories, getting to know each-other… for someone who doesn’t preach the gospel as you put it, you’re doing quite well!” Friendship is practically the Equestrian state religion, I gotta keep reminding myself that. But I gave her a wide, dumb smile.

“I’m sorry, this is a slumber party now?” I asked, “What we doin’ after this? We wanna have a pillow fight, do each other's makeup, or maybe we can practice making out on each other?” I asked with a laugh, only for Celestia to look me dead in the eye and cock an eyebrow… I looked off to the side with a blush, sputtering out- “That was a joke, of course!”

“I never said I’d be opposed.” My head shot over, only for me to see the smug grin on her face. “You seem to enjoy using sexual things in an attempt to get a rise out of someone or make them uncomfortable.” I huffed, looking back over the balcony with a glare. “The look on your face was priceless.” She chuckled, and I couldn’t help but smirk, though still with a faint blush on my cheeks.

“Bah, you win, bitch!” I said with a snort. “I uh… I admit I…” I let out a despondent sigh; I mean, I sure as shit wasn’t gonna admit to her I couldn’t get her body out of my mind. It’s nothing emotional; I’d just love to motorboat those tits far more than I’d love to form an emotional bond… What's wrong with me? Nothing. I just like tits, especially in my mouth. Tragically, my wife’s tits are the size of walnuts; but that’s just how ponies are. “Ahh, you fuckin’ got me… How ‘bout we keep this between us and get back to the story?” I asked, and she nodded with a kind, but still kind of smug smile.

I shook my head, puffing on a cigarette with a sigh, overlooking the old neighborhood. “I was five years old, just got home from my first week of kindergarten… er, early education. Anyways, I get home, and I’m hungry… so, I decided to find my parents… I checked the bedroom, and found daddy. He… blew his brains out about as soon as I walked in. I don’t think he even saw me- but it doesn’t matter.” I shrugged, honestly not feeling much for the guy.

“Excuse me… blew his brains out?” Celestia asked, and I smirked. I made a finger gun with my right hand, “He grabbed a pistol.” I stuck my thumb in the air as I pointed to the right side of my head.

BANG!

The gunshot rang out exactly how I remembered it, but my finger was still a finger, pointed at the side of my head.

“I see…” Celestia muttered, and I simply nodded frankly.

“Even before my mother packed up all her stuff and skipped town without me, I was basically being raised by the gangsters in my neighborhood.” I pointed down at the pizza shop with my cigarette still between my fingers. “Vincenzo’s. That little pizza joint functioned as a front for Johnni, one of the local Capo’s…” I noticed the confusion on her face, so I had to back up a little.

“A front? Like, for organized crime?” She asked, and I simply nodded. “That… doesn’t shock me, somehow.” She intoned, and I gave her a wide grin.

“Full disclosure, this was an entirely criminal enterprise. The Italian mafia essentially controlled swathes of America’s largest cities, especially centering around little pockets of Italian-American culture, like this one.” I said, the night sky rapidly being swapped out for a dim, smoggy afternoon. The store fronts were open, with their little stands and display carts rolled out front to help hawk their goods. The sound of life and cars moving could be heard, but much of the street was a ghost town. “Why is it that my memories feel so much clearer?” I asked Celestia, and was surprised to hear a quiet sigh.

“Because they are.” She said simply, and I somewhat regretted bringing this up. “Even with my near-eternal youth… occasionally marred by malnutrition or injury, all temporary in nature… I’ve found that my time as a… human have began to fade… When at one time it was as clear as a window, I’ve been unable to prevent the obscuring of landscape and place… or the insistent blurring of details, the melting conversations and faces, even my chronology of events, I don’t fully trust!” She had a sense of urgency in her voice- almost like a fear of sorts. I held my hand out over the balcony, looking over to her with a warm smile. She slowly turned with a smirk, taking my hand in hers with a gentle nod.

“But, at least for me- My life as a pony? I remember quite well. May we have a clear day?” She asked while she looked to the sky with a smile, the smog disappearing in a blink as the dirt and grime of the city blurred. “I remember the shock and fear of waking up in a new place, in a new body! The caring look of my Mother still seared in my mind as clear as the first day I beheld her.” I felt my eyes welling up, as I knew exactly what she was referring to. I was looking down at the street below, but her gaze remained on the sky, though we still held hands.

“Did you try to learn everything all at once too, only for your brain so just… fails on you?” I asked, and she nodded rapidly. “Just reading and writing until you just… went straight to bed?” She rubbed the side of her face with an odd sigh.

“I still don’t know if that was some divine punishment for something, or just a normal symptom of trying to stuff a fully rendered soul into an undeveloped brain… but it’s comforting to know I’m not the only one to have experienced troubles because of it.” I agreed with a nod, neither of us needing to elaborate on what we meant, because we both experienced it. The thirst for knowledge and the thirst for applejuice often coincided, occasionally leading to disastrous consequences. ‘Nuff said.

“Fuckin’ crazy we’re the only two people in history to have to experience that and remember it.” She nodded, but continued- “I’m thankful for much of the other stuff I can remember, the good stuff, at least… but the bad stuff? Ehh, not so much.” She huffed with a bitter smirk.

“I’m sure you’ve read about my grief within many stories and tales, but take it from me personally; having to use the Elements of Harmony on my own sister was a decision that haunts me to this very day, though clear hindsight tells me it was the right choice. The only choice.” I’ve read the history plenty of times; after the rule of Discord, and the consolidation of power by the Princesses, Equestria adopted a system of 24/7 court to help rule the chaotic land. It was useful for a while, but as things stabilized, Luna’s night court gained less and less popularity. “The pain and anguish of realizing I’d sent my baby sister to wander the Moon for God knows how long, and having to stare up at the warped caricature that Demon made of her every night?”

The sound of a pain-filled, anguished cry filled our ears, and I gripped Celestia’s hand tighter. I heard incoherent, pain-filled babbling in Latin… Celestia’s regretful lament for her baby sister.

“It’s not a decision you ever take lightly, especially not when family’s involved.” I affirmed, “It was something that had to be done- but the fact that you opted for a less permanent solution is nothing but admirable.” She huffed with a smirk.

“Enough of this depressing tangent. Things are fantastic- and we still have plenty of time to burn.” I shook my head with a smile. Who knew we’d share so much in common? “You were telling a story!” She giggled, and I smirked.

“Anyways… where was I?” I mused, looking over the… oddly wavy landscape. “The fuh-” I muttered, feeling sweat beading on my forehead. I couldn’t find my words, looking Celestia in her rapidly widening eyes.

“Oh goodness… You’re sicker than I expected. My apologies, I didn’t think this would happen!” I felt a burp coming up, so I covered my mouth with a fist and held it down. She let go of my other hand, the two of us turning and taking a step back from each other. “Try to get to a bucket!” I heard her yell a warning as I threw off my covers.

I held acrid bile back as I dashed to my bathroom, almost tripping because I expected to stand bi-pedally. I stumbled and burst through the door, doubling over the can to puke my guts out.

I panted heavily through my beak, drenched in sweat and shivering quite badly as I leaned against the wall with a hand. I was still trying to spit the chunks out of my beak when my stomach flipped around for round two, tears and snot involuntarily rolling down my cheeks.

My upset tummy eventually began to settle, and I was finally able to wash the awful taste out of my chattering, runny beak. My face felt like it was burning and my back hurt worse than usual. I flushed and went over to the sink, rinsing my mouth before drinking greedily from the tap. On my dry, bitter tongue, this water was like holy water. It tasted more crisp than mountain water fresh from a spring. I then grabbed a towel and blew into it desperately, hoping in vain my airways would stay as clear as they were now… but it was all for nought.

I cleaned my shivering face as best as I could before hopping wearily into bed, tucking myself in as best as I could and looking at the ceiling. The morning sun peering through the window told me my wife was already out and about for the day. Normally when I was this sick, with a fever clouding my mind this bad- I’d stare at the ceiling and trace the patterns in the swirling texture with my eyes. Sometimes I picture them like rivers, tracing where they’d flow if a water source was added in one of the lower divots, tracing them with a blue line in my head… Sometimes I do it even when I’m just laying in bed tired, unable to sleep.

Am I the only one that does that? Am I weird? But questions like that took a backseat in my mind as I recalled that wonderful little exploration I just shared with Celestia.

It was quite fascinating and insightful- a unique look into a part of our psyches we’ve never shared with anyone, purely because of the odd fascination and questioning we’ve both no doubt had around it. Oddly? I felt less alone in this world. It was nice.

“She’s aw’right.” I muttered to myself, getting distracted and tracing the ceiling again.

---

Celestia stood in her kitchen, admiring the dim twilight outside of her window, the smell of dew on the grass wafting through the open window. She sipped a fresh cup of her favorite tea, sighing in content as she grabbed the pot and cup in her telekinesis.

She made her way through her quiet villa confident she wouldn’t run into anyone, shutting her bedroom door behind her as she set the tea at her writing desk. She sat at a cushion in front of it, clicking a pen in her magic as she began to write on the empty pages of a diary.

‘Today, I made a friend. Even better- one who has no inherent bias, nor does she live in the villa! Such a fascinating outside perspective, that I’m baffled as to why no-pony seems to take her seriously in Equestria!’ Celestia clicked her tongue in thought. ‘And truthfully? I remembered Leona bringing up Marksism… and I can’t help but keep thinking back on the point she made. Perhaps a copy would help me pass judgment? But all that aside… it’s quite nice to know I’m not completely alone in this universe… as a ‘human,’ that is.’

Celestia sipped her tea, sighing with a smile. Things have gotten a bit lonely around her home since Luna rejoined the political fray; it felt nice to have someone who would listen.

I have a discord server now! Join it if you wanna discuss the story and stuff :p

Surely, there's only so much for an immortal princess to do when she retires, you know? The best part is, what's Leona gonna do? Say, Celestia confessed something to me! It came to me in a dream! :3

As always, thanks so much for reading! Likes and comments are greatly appreciated :3