Twilight paced her office nervously, feeling like she was burning with anxiety. Opening the window let a cool mid-afternoon breeze waft in; she poured herself another shot of vodka and slammed it back greedily before lighting a cigarette.

A note sat face up on her desk: Hello, Twilight. We need to talk. And you’d better hope for the sake of our friendship that nothing happens to Sweetie Belle before I get there. I’ll meet you in your office, don’t you worry.- Rarity.

She was worrying. She was worrying a lot.

Knock, Knock, Knock!

“Come in.” Twilight said, setting her smoke in an ashtray and the bottle in a drawer.

“Twilight Sparkle!” She heard Rarity before she opened the door- and were it not for her decorum training, her eyes would’ve shot open when she saw her; the last time she saw Rarity was during her dear friend’s wedding.

Sweet Celestia, she let herself go! While they kept in contact with letters, telegrams, and through phone calls… She hadn’t seen her in person in a while.

She slammed her front hooves into Twilight’s desktop, almost climbing over it in anger… not that that was a possibility, given her current… shape.

“Why is Sweetie Belle in JAIL!?” She yelled- so close, Twilight could smell her perfume. “Tell me, Twilight! Why is my baby sister IN JAIL!?” She punctuated her sentence by slamming her hoof down twice like a gavel.

“Look, I had nothing to do with it! Her arrest was a mistake, and-” She started, but Rarity interrupted her.

“MISTAKE!?” She outraged, “She’s not an enemy of the state! She doesn’t hate the princesses like those that deserved to get arrested! SHE IS MY SISTER!” Rarity stood there with a glare, breathing heavily over the silence of the room.

She huffed, turning her nose up and turning around. “Twilight, I’m sorry to say- I cannot call you a friend while my sister is locked away in some camp. Not even a casual acquaintance!”

She yelled dramatically before slamming the door behind her.

Twilight used her magic to reach for her phone, fiddling with the rotary dial.

“This is Gallus, talk to me.”

“Let Sweetie Belle go. Now.” Was her only command.

“Wh-WHAT!?” She heard him yell into the phone, causing her to pull it away from her ear. “No way! That’d totally undermine everything we’re working for here!”

“You have your orders, Gallus.” She mimicked Luna- but her voice and tone wasn’t nearly as intimidating as Luna’s.

“Fine. Fine! But how are the ponies already in the re-education centers gonna feel, when they find out that being famous is the ticket out?!”

Twilight hung up the phone.

Her breath shuddered, hitching in her throat. She felt hot tears filling her eyes, so she once again grabbed the bottle; she breathed out so it wouldn’t taste as bad before taking a few good gulps. She yanked the bottle out of her mouth and breathed in- the awful taste of the liquor lingered in her mouth and nose, and she covered her mouth to suppress a gag before bursting into tears.

On the wall next to the door was a framed picture of Celestia, posing for a bust-shot with that warm gentle smile from so long ago.

“I’m sorry…” She said, lowering her head to cry into her own arms. All the terrible stuff around her was happening because of her own refusal to stray from the rules; these rules were written long ago, in a time when Equestria was still unstable. It’s foolish to assume the same laws and guidelines written to control the populace a thousand years ago would work on a modern, enlightened population; but they were written by Celestia.

This was like the Sombra fiasco all over again- she followed all the rules, and she still didn’t know what was going wrong.

“You know what? Darn the rules!” Twilight thought to herself, cheeks wet with tears. In one of her desk drawers was a stash of napkins and silverware… because who doesn’t have one of those either in their work desk or in their car? You never know!

She grabbed a quill and popped the inkwell before taking another swig of vodka.

Jotting notes on a napkin, she wrote exactly-

votign ideas!
one for crown
one for … pompus fuckers! (She couldn’t remember how to spell Aristocracy, in the moment.)
one for the commoners
each gets representives voted to cast vote, each class has equal!

Whatever that truly meant, she’d decipher it in the morning.

---

“HOLY FUCK! AH-HAHAHAHAAAAA!”

Upon hearing that the reforms Twilight would be implementing, I couldn’t help but clutch my sides in agony as they fucked-off into orbit.

“SHE- SHE-AHAHAHAAAAAAAhhhhh-” I wheezed, Glimmer looking like she was about to call an ambulance. “I-I’m fine! I’m fine!” I forced myself to take a few deep breaths and calm down.

“Sincerely, thank you for bringing this on your way!” I said to her, wiping tears out of my eyes. “This isn’t what I wanted to talk about… but fuck!”

The gist of it was that it would be a three-estate system. The First Estate consisted of the Crown; the Second Estate accounted for the nobility and other such landowners. And the Third Estate consisted of everyone else, including the CEO’s and other assorted greaseballs; due to the third estate vastly outnumbering the first and second, each Equestrian county will vote on a sort of board of representatives to discuss issues that need to be brought up. The meeting of the Estates Triumvirate will take place in mid-november, about four months from now; and each body of representatives from the Third Estate will vote on an Estates Speaker, who will bring up the discussed issues before the Triumvirate.

Every tier of the Estates Triumvirate will get, per issue… one vote. Each. One. Vote. Do you see the problem yet? But for all its shortcomings, it’s at least better than a two-party system of democracy where people’s voting choices boil down to blue vs. red.

Glimmer seemed to have just finished reading the paper. “This is awful!” She exclaimed, slapping the front of the paper with the back of her hoof. “Anything the Third Estate tries to accomplish will just get shot down by the nobility and the crown!”

I nodded with a wide smirk. “Not to mention- how many opportunities will there be for bribery? I’m willing to bet that the Third Estate is getting bought out by the wealthy as we speak.” I looked off to the side in thought. “That’s the problem with democracy in general, and especially one as half-baked as this. There are so many methods: voter bribery and intimidation, ballot stuffing… Just so many opportunities and bribeable faces along the way! The ultra-wealthy can use propaganda to try and convince the people that their anti-populist ideas are a good thing, and the big businesses will ensure that whoever gets voted in will mainly serve their interests.” I sucked in a deep breath of air, realizing how long-winded that sentence just was.

Glimmer put her hooves in her hands with an annoyed groan; I put a hand to her shoulder with a grin.

“The only reason I found this so funny, is because this is exactly the shit France tried as a last-ditch effort to avoid total revolution… eventually leading to the power vacuum that put Napoleon into power.” I explained… and she turned her head back up, a look of cautious hope painting her features. “I’d take the time to explain the utter circus-show that was the French revolution, but we’d be here all day.” I set the newspaper off to the side- “Heads rolled like pool balls after the first shot!” I mimicked the motion of shooting pool, ‘Clack!’

Glimmer snorted, unable to stop from chuckling; I wasn’t sure what she was thinking in this moment, but I’m willing to bet that she’s realizing what kind of opportunities this instability could hold… But as of now, there is nothing we can do.

“Later on, maybe?” She asked, pretty much always happy to listen to me ramble aimlessly about Human history, just as I’m happy to answer whatever questions she has; I, on the other hand, was happy to have someone enthusiastic to talk to about this stuff with. We both shared a love of history- and Glimmer has been one of my most unexpected friends. I nodded with a smirk, figuring that I’d have the time later.

“But, anyways… I talked to Fin about how you handled that thing I asked you.” I plucked a cigarette out of an open pack and flicked open my lighter; and in a move wholly unusual for her, Glimmer pulled a pack out of her own vest pocket.

“May I?” She asked, and I nodded while lighting my own, scooting the ash-tray between us. Magic sparked the tip of her smoke, already resting between her lips.

I took in a puff- “She said you handled it really well for a first timer.” The smoke flowed from my beak, and I exhaled off to the side. “Didn’t even get squeamish chopping him up? Even when you gutted him like a deer to make him easier to carry?” I asked with a smirk- and Glimmer shrugged, billowing smoke from the right side of her mouth, the cigarette being held in her telekinetic grasp.

“Scooping his guts out to burn was honestly more interesting than horrifying- it looked just like the anatomical sketches I’ve studied in books!” Taking a drag of her cigarette, she then gave me a sheepish grin. “But… by goodness, they don’t prepare you for the smell… combined with the smell of that slaughterhouse, I was dry-heaving until I wrapped some cloth around my nose!” My eyes widened- I forgot to consider that her pony sense of smell would… disagree with the ambient scent of a slaughterhouse.

“Ah, right!” I couldn’t help but facepalm lightly, pointing at her- “Next time, there’s a woodworking shop you can take the trash to! Lil’ Pete wouldn’t have been happy to see vomit on the killfloor come morning!” Little Pete, or Pete Jr, was the son of a butcher I used to frequent as a kid. Even after his dad drank himself to death, he took up the family business… along with the family recipes. He was quick to take on the ideas of the assembly line and mass production as well; Butcher Pete’s Quality Meats is a household name across the Syndicate… and now I really want some sausage.

“Oh, please! We made sure to hose it down before we left!” We both shared a laugh, puffing on our cigarettes. “And you know… the on-site showers were nice for cleaning ourselves up.” Those were installed for the workers initially, so they could clean themselves before going home to their families; since griffons wear clothes for fashion instead of a sense of decency, communal showers are hardly uncommon. “But I never realized how simple it was to remove a pony’s stomach.” She mused, looking off to the side.

“It’s basically a straight shot from the lower esophagus to the ass- it’s all held in by your ribs and skin!” I crushed my cigarette butt in the tray and lit another- and I noticed that Glimmer was on her third.

“I remember reading stories about soldiers holding their own guts in- and I thought they were exaggerations!” She giggled to herself, and I snorted.

“Believe me, it happens. More often than you think.” I took a deep puff of my cigarette, eyes going a little unfocused. “Some of us chose a sword over a gun- I’ve seen it all. There was a dog- hunched over on all fours. He tried putting himself back together- but the harder he tried, the more his entrails slipped through his grasp. He’d pick one up off the ground, trying desperately to stuff it back in as another fell.” There was another dog- he caught a sword to his nose. It dangled by a strip of flesh, revealing his skull beneath. Wet sucking noises could be heard following the report of blunderbuss fire, caused by air rushing into a gaping wound.

“Leona?” I blinked, taking in another puff to try and ground myself. I shook my head, unable to stop the faint shudder when I did.

“Ah, but I was going off on a tangent, there.” She still gave me that look of concern. “Sorry- I can’t help but daydream like that sometimes.”

She glanced off to the side- “I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to trigger anything.” I just shrugged.

“Ehh, fuhgeddaboutit!” I slapped her on the shoulder with a wide grin, and she turned to face me again with an apologetic smile. “But, before we got off topic, back to the point of all this!”

I crushed the butt of my cigarette out once again, setting the pack off to the side. Glimmer seemed to get the hint, taking one last puff of hers before crushing it out.

“After much consideration in regards to our future plans with Equestria, and especially in regards to your own immense skill and talents, I and the other members of my Family have agreed to open the books.” She blinked, looking somewhat confused- but her eyes widened not long after.

“You mean-” I just gave her a wide grin.

“The ponies need a good leader. Someone who understands their needs and puts them above all else. Someone who’s genuinely in-touch with the Equestrian zeitgeist, knows how to command respect, and doesn’t take issue with… dirty work.” Her eyes were still wide as dinner plates, her hooves covering her mouth. “I’m not trying to kiss your ass- we spent hours going over and debating this decision, and these were the conclusions we came up with as a collective. Equestria will need a head of state eventually- and if you join my family, I can ensure you’ll be the main consideration.”

She glanced off to the side in thought, still covering her mouth with a hoof. “You’re a good friend, Leona. I have no doubts you have a plan… but how do you propose to pull any of this off? Without inviting the dragons to wipe us all off the map?” She asked cautiously, almost like she was afraid to ask. I scrunched my beak, glancing off to the side.

“I… I’m hesitant to say, to tell you the truth. It’s a secret, involving the proliferation of human technological concepts and-” But I was interrupted.

“What if I told you a secret of mine? One that, if it ever started to spread, I’d… I’d whack whoever let it out.” I pretended to hold a hand to my beak, hiding a smirk while pretending to think; if she’s already mimicking my vocabulary, how much convincing would it really take?

“How about… a piece of the puzzle?” I offered, not waiting for a response before explaining- “In the first world war, the stalemate of trench warfare led to the British fielding the first tanks; basically, a tractor covered in steel plating, with a massive breech-loading cannon attached. They’re mobile, with tracks allowing it to climb the muddy hills and trenches of no-man's-land. It’s large-caliber gun can shoot up to 45 degrees up, punching through dirt, stone, steel, flesh… scales.” I explained, her jaw half-dropping when I connected the dots for her. “This is but one component of our planned offensive to retake Catlus and subjugate the dragons; a plan that’s been six years in the making, Starlight.”

She seemed… oddly conflicted. “I… I have friends among the dragons. What about them?” She asked, and I shrugged.

“If you’re with us, I’ll schedule a meeting for the big day. If you want to convince them to go somewhere else and wait the invasion out, that’s fine by me. Either way, allowing the dragons to expand was a dangerous move, which set an even more dangerous precedent.” I explained, Glimmer nodding with a sigh. “If their population expands enough, there won’t be enough guns in the world to do a thing about it.”

“No, I understand. It’s just…” She glanced from side to side. If there was one saving grace in this whole situation, it was the rate at which dragons reproduce and grow, combined with the in-fighting inevitably spawned over petty nonsense. “Fuck it. I’ll join.”

I gave her a wide grin. “This thing of ours is a society of the chosen, Starlight. In a few days time, you’ll take the same oath we all did; after that, you’ll be a made member of my crew. My family.” I got out of my chair and met her on the other side of my desk. She held her hoof out to shake; I grabbed it in my left hand and pulled her in for a hug over her shoulder. We separated, and I patted her on the back before shaking her hoof properly.

“Where I’m from, the only people who matter are those who have the balls to take what they want.” I said to her as I moved back to my chair. “I’m genuinely glad to have you join us; and believe me, the benefits to that are numerous… but first, I think I’m owed something.” I just gave her an expectant smirk, and she glanced nervously off to the side.

“I… is that still necessary?” She spoke quietly, sweat forming on her brow. “I… I don’t know what I was thinking, offering that up.” I just cocked an eyebrow.

“Starlight, your secrets are safe with me. Are mine safe with you?” I asked rhetorically. “It’s the principal, Glimmer. And if you’re in The Family, you can trust any one of us like your own brothers and sisters.” It was the truth- I trust my family with my secrets, and I hope they’d trust me with theirs.

She sighed, leaning in slowly; and I couldn’t help but wonder what fucked up secret she had? What awful, awful skeletons lay in her black closet? Was Naysay not her first kill? Did she disappear ponies from her village?

“My wife is trans.” She whispered in my ear… and I blinked in confusion.

“What?” I asked, genuinely confu- ohhhhhh. “Oh… Oh, that’s… huh.” I really didn’t know how to respond to that. “So like… She was… born a he, then?” I asked as delicately as I could.

“Leona, I’m gonna give you a pass just this once.” She glared at me, looking me dead in the eye. “But if you ever call my wife a ‘he’, even in the context of her birth, I will end you.”

I just threw my arms up. “No no, I get it! I’m sorry!” Glimmer gave me a relieved smile.

“I just had to get that out of the way. It’s a touchy subject- as in, no touchy!” She waved her hoof to emphasize her point. I just shrugged.

“Alright, alright! It’s just… I’ve never met a trans pony before. Please, forgive my ignorance- I meant no insult.” That was the honest truth. I’ve read about them in books, but never put much thought or research into them. “It’s just… how the hell’d she hide the salsicce? Ponies don’t wear pants!”

Her initial look of anger disappeared with a snort; she covered a hoof to her mouth as she started cracking up. “Of all the ways to ask that… snrk!” She forced herself to calm down and explain- “Since she was a showmare, she always wore this cloak that’d cover her from the sides and behind.” She explained matter-of-factly. “Beneath that, she had a binder- it looped around the base of her tail and was secured tightly to her barrel. It matched her coat- and because of how sheaths work, there was hardly a bulge.” She then shrugged. “But nowadays, Masque spells.”

“...Huh.” Wild. “Well… when you’re in charge of Equestria, maybe you could find her original birth record and have it burned and replaced?” I suggested with a sly grin- Glimmer’s eyes shot open again. “You know- go in and fix those ridiculous… spelling errors on that document.” Fuck it- whatever she wants, really.

She nodded slowly, staring off to the side in thought.

“So, I gotta ask.” I got her attention, lighting another cigarette. I gave her a smug grin- “How big is it?” She… matched my look.

She held her hooves out in front of her, not very spread apart. I glanced up and cocked an eyebrow- and her hooves started spreading.

“Not bad, not bad.” I said… and she spread her hooves some more. “No shit?” Then they kept going, finally stopping. “God damn!” She locked eyes with me… then kept going. “... You can take all that without crying?” I asked incredulously, and Glimmer just laughed aloud.

I just shook my head in disbelief, just wanting to put this topic down. “Go out and get yourself fitted for a nice suit or a dress- whatever your style is.” I said, meeting her gaze with a warm smile. “Within a few days, someone’ll be here to pick you up. Until then?” I reached into my desk and handed her a thick envelope. “Take your sweetheart out shopping!”

She nodded with a grin, stuffing the envelope into her vest pocket. “Thanks Leona. Seriously.” She turned to walk away… but then turned back with a smirk. “You wanna know something? They say that the prettiest mares have the biggest dick.” Before she opened the door, she said- “That means I married the prettiest mare in the world!” She laughed and fucked off before I could even respond.

I just rolled my eyes; my wife already had that title, massive salsicce or none… never thought I’d have to write that sentence.

---

Starlight paced around her room nervously, chain smoking and occasionally making stops to check her outfit in the mirror; She wore a pale blue button up with a collar, held in place with a star-shaped pin. Her overshirt was dark pink with gold cufflinks, its purple lapels matching her skirt perfectly.

“Starlight, darling.” Her wife half-pleaded with a look of concern in her eyes. “Please- relax. You’re worrying me seeing you like this!” Glimmer just gave her a faint smirk.

“I-I’m sorry… the anxiety is… a little overwhelming.” She sat on the bed, fanning herself with a hoof while she chained cigarettes. Trixie sat next to her, pulling a cigarette out of a bright-green pack.

“Cigarette?” She offered, and Glimmer took a whiff of it. “No, no- cigaweed.”

Glimmer sighed. “Fuck it.” She lit it and took two drags… before running to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash it down with mouthwash. Can’t have weed on my breath! Fuck!

“STARLIGHT!” Trixie yelled, forcing Glimmer to look into her soft, caring eyes. “Relax. Everything’s fine, everything will be fine.” Hearing her wife's voice soothed her; her beautiful face made her smile.

Knock, Knock!

“Starlight! You ready in there?” She heard Jos outside her door, waiting on her.

Glimmer took a deep breath, pulling her wife in for a hug and a kiss. “This’ll be good for us- you know I’m just… anxious.”

Trixie smiled. “I know, sweetie. Say no more.”

---

Jos’ car rumbled through the city; Starlight was sitting in the front anxiously awaiting the future.

“You’ve been quiet. Everything alright?” She asked with genuine concern in her voice- and Starlight nodded.

“...yeah.” Was her response- and Jos cocked an eyebrow.

“Doesn’t sound alright to me.” She said, slowing down to stop at a red light.

“I’m nervous… is all.” She stared out the window, trying to focus on the passing scenery more than her own anxiety- and Jos recognized it immediately.

“I’ll be quiet. You just relax and look out the window- that’s the fun part about getting driven around, anyway!” It was a trait shared by her twin sister, after all. She just kept driving without a second word.

“Thank you.” Glimmer said, and Jos nodded. Fin often went nonverbal during heavy traffic- even if she was just a passenger, it was stressful at times.

As Glimmer relaxed and watched all the cars and buildings go by, Jos couldn’t help but wonder what she’d have for dinner that night; and as they passed a building with a white, castle-like facade, she grinned.

White Palace, it is! But small hamburgers and onion-breath would have to wait until later; they didn’t have enough time to hit the drive-thru now.

---

As soon as we heard the elevator ding, we all got up to greet our newest friend!

“She was sittin’ on one asscheek, the whole way over!” Jos said with a laugh, one echoed by the rest of us as I threw an arm around her back.

“Ugh! I was sitting just fine!” But we didn’t give a shit- we were just breaking balls. I looked her in the eyes with a warm smile.

“It’s great to have ya’.” Her look of worry started fading as everyone offered her handshakes and other congratulations for joining the crew.

“At this rate, the ponies in this family will outnumber the griffons!” Emmie quipped, causing more rounds of laughter.

After we all settled down and made our way to our spots, I had Ross adjusting the blinds; even as the light dimmed, the air-conditioned office in the skyscraper still felt warm and inviting… to me, anyway. We all stood around the table; Dee and I were standing across from Glimmer, Adrian standing next to me. Fin stood next to Glimmer, and everyone else stood by as witness.

While we didn’t bother putting a sword and a gun on the table, there were some aspects of the tradition still kept.

“We all know why we’re here.” I started plainly, looking Glimmer in the eyes. Fin set a candle on the table in front of Starlight and lit it. “If you’re still not sure, now’s your time to back out- none of us will think any less of you.” I paused, and she swallowed nervously. “Once you’re a part of this family- there’s no gettin’ out.”

It seemed to sink in slowly- and she finally nodded her head.

“This family comes before everything else; before your wife. Before your children. Before your own parents- it’s a thing of honor.” I explained- “It also means that if, goodness forbid- something bad were to happen, we’ll make sure your wife is treated right. Friends of the family are part of the family, but only as far as well-being is concerned.” In other words, even if Starlight is gone, we’ll take care of Trixie’s well being… but just because she’s part of the family, doesn’t mean she needs to be privy to anything we discuss.

“If you ever got a problem,” Adrian started, patting me on the back for dramatic effect. “This woman, right here. She’ll take care of it.” I smirked, nodding along. Dee spoke up-

“Doesn’t matter if it’s here or out there; bring it to her, she’ll solve it.” She said, and I nodded.

Fin took the end of a sewing needle and held the tip over the candle flame.

“If I ask you to kill Celestia herself, then you must do it.” I explained simply. “Show me the hoof that’ll carry it out.” She held her right hoof up, and Fin gently held a hand to it. I presented a photograph of Celestia, lighting the corner as Fin pricked Starlights hoof with the needle; it pierced the soft center, called the frog, and allowed blood to drip onto the burning card.

“Press this in your hooves and rub ‘em together.” I said, rubbing my hands together as a demonstration. “Repeat after me while you do it.”

She looked down to the slowly burning card, held in her two hooves. The flame was slow- but as Celestia’s mane started to burn, she rubbed the card between her hooves.

“May I burn in Hell.” I said, her hooves rubbing together rhythmically as she said-

“May I burn in Hell.” She responded, the candlelight dancing across her features highlighted a look of focus and concentration.

“If I ever betray my friends.” Was the plain and simple conclusion.

“If I ever betray my friends.” She responded without hesitation, and I gave her a wide grin.

“Congratulations.” I genuinely felt pride for her- and Adrian started clapping; everyone else followed not long after as I moved to the other side to pull her in for a hug.

“So that’s it?” She asked, and I chuckled.

“You’re a made mare now, Starlight. Wear that with honor.” I patted her shoulder- “No one can fuck with you. No-one. You’re practically untouchable- just like Celestia or Twilight.” Meaning, that anyone who tries won’t live long enough to regret it afterwards.

After several more rounds of congratulations, it was time to get to our second order of business: the desert zebras.

We all sat in chairs around the table, while Sinan stood up.

“Mind’s Eye and I… that rhyme was not intentional…” He said, “Have spoken to the Shah of Irem in regards to setting up oil-drilling operations.”

He stood there in silence, looking around the room as if waiting for something.

“And?” I asked, “What did he say?”

Sinan just shrugged. “He said no.” He then sat down in his chair.

I blinked. “Wha- no? The fuck you mean?” Emmie spoke up this time.

“His answer was no. And that was that- he wouldn’t compromise, try to bargain, nothing.” I just gave him an incredulous look.

“He said no?” A massive grin threatened to break my face in half. “How ‘bout we just… do it anyway?” I elaborated- “When we have our guys setting up base in the desert to start construction on that end, we’ll send a company of soldiers for protection.” And that was that.

We’re gonna build oil wells wherever the fuck we want. Someone have a problem? Come and take it.

“Wait, I’m confused.” Starlight said, and I cocked an eyebrow. “What happened, and what’s going to happen?”

It just occurred to me that it may take a while to get her caught up; I was able to answer the first part easily- they have oil, and we need it more than they do.

As for the second part? It’s wholly dependent on how long it takes for the zebras to fuck around and find out.

I have a discord server for this fic out now!! It'd be real cool if u joined :333

Friendship is Omerta.
:3
(The spelling of the chapter name IS intentional... just in case :p)

As always, thanks so much for reading! Likes and comments are greatly appreciated :p