Today was a special day for quite a few reasons; first and foremost being Anastasia’s last day of Grade 1. Despite the rough start on the first day, she’s made quite a few friends and is doing quite well in class. Creative Studies- or, art class, is probably her biggest weakness; although, the teachers knew better than to fail her on drawing skill alone. Probably gets it from me, though: I couldn’t draw to save my life. I can design, but aesthetic painting was rarely ever my strong suit.

I was joined by my wife in the front seat and Adrian sitting behind her as she idly wrote the rough draft of tomorrow’s Crystalia Address. Until then, hourly announcements on all radio stations will serve two purposes: tell people to cancel any Crystalia trips, and to tune in tomorrow for the Address.

“So I got all the basic stuff,” My wife started, turning the radio down, “Don’t go there, it’s too dangerous, uhh…” She muttered, and Adrian spoke up.

“It sounds like they’re declaring martial law over there, at least until things calm down. Perhaps stress that fact?” He suggested, and I nodded.

“Absolutely. You think we should comp whoever got screwed out of a vacation?” I asked, and Dee shrugged.

“Maybe… We could do free-play vouchers for our casinos. Comp the rooms, maybe- I dunno yet.” She was scratching her chin and shrugged. “We’d also have to set up a committee to review the claims, of which I’m sure there’ll be many. Not to mention refunds from all the airliners and ocean liners.” I just scoffed in annoyance.

“We oughta start selling insurance for this shit. Don’t get me wrong, anything to keep Twilight’s eyes off me is a good thing. But fuck!” I said, my non-steering hand gesturing accordingly. “That reminds me. I have a plan to increase the funds in our reserve without inflation.”

That had their curiosity piqued.

“Tomorrow when we have that meeting to prepare for the zebra trip, I’ll go into details.” I promised, and they nodded. The gist of it was that I planned to essentially set up a skim of sorts. Basically, if a mine is sending like… five-hundred pounds of gold, we’ll count it for eight-hundred; throw the five-hundred into a vault, and print eight hundred worth. We’ll keep track of the gold deficit, and refill it when the dragons are dealt with. I could just start tossing around IOU’s and spend into the deficit, but it’d make me look bad.

But for now, I was pulling into the school’s pickup lane, Annie’s side near the sidewalk. There was a mid-sized crowd of kids waiting for their parents to pick them up in their cars, while the rest either took the bus or winged it. Er, literally wing it… you know, flying.

Flying is fun, but cars are more practical for everyday use, way I saw it.

Anastasia was waving her friends goodbye, with them yelling back, “Later, Yo-yo!” which was her nickname. Kids started calling her “The yo-yo” girl after the incident, and the name stuck. She bolted into the car and I hit the gas, wanting to beat the traffic.

“Uncle Ade’!” She yelled in surprise, pulling him in for a hug. He feigned struggling for breath in her arms, laughing and saying-

“Oof! If you get any stronger, you’ll wind up taller than your mother!” Ugggghhhhh…

“Cool!” She yelled, buckling her seatbelt.

“Not! Not cool!” I chastised jokingly, waving a fist for dramatic effect. She giggled and I asked,

“So, how was your last day of school?” I asked, half-listening as I focused on driving.

“Mrs. Aurelia brought out the projector, we just watched cartoons all day!” I just giggled,

“Is that so? Yeah, the last day of school is always a great time.” I kind of figured- I mean, what kind of jagoff makes kids learn on the last day of school? If you try to teach them something then, they’ll be more focused on the exit door.

“Yeah! We watched the Three Little Pigs!” Even in the rear-view mirror, I could see the excitement in her eyes.

“Really?” Adrian spoke up, “I’ve never seen that one! What’s it about?” He asked, encouraging her to go on.

“Okay, so there’s this Pig village ruled by the Three Little Pigs, called Pigtown! They live next to Sheepburg and Cowsdale.” She explained, the excitement never leaving her voice. “But one day, the Big Bad Wolf went to Sheepburg and ate all the sheep!” I let out a fake gasp.

“Goodness! What did the pigs and cows do about it?” I asked like I hadn’t approved the film myself.

“Nothing! The Wolf only eats sheep, so they were glad they were safe!” We were all nodding and hmm-ing along to her story as she told it, “But then, the wolf came and ate all the cows! But since they aren’t cows, the pigs still didn’t do anything!” Now it was Dee’s turn to speak up!

“Now why the heck would they just stand by while their cow friends got eaten?” Dee asked, and Anastasia scratched her chin.

“Because… they were too comfortable to do anything about it! They weren’t cows or sheep, so why should they do anything?” She asked rhetorically, “Then… the wolf ate the pigs because no-one left could fight the Big Bad Wolf!” She sounded so excited retelling the story- it warmed my heart, to be honest.

“What next?” I asked smugly.

“Then, the movie went back! But instead of the sheep getting eaten, they band together with the cows and the pigs! The sheep grabbed their guns, the cows stockpiled their food, and the pigs built a giant brick wall!” If her seatbelt wasn’t on, she’d probably be jumping out of her seat. “After a week of pounding on the bricks, the wolf was tired! Then the sheep climbed to the top of the wall and shot him with their revolvers!” I laughed upon hearing the story’s conclusion.

It’s a simple fable- The first part warns against complacency; the second part preaches unity and togetherness, with a bit of a patriotic flare.

“After that, they all lived together within the pigs walls! The cows taught the others how to cook better, the pigs taught the rest how to build stuff, and the sheep taught everyone how to shoot guns!” she concluded her story, “They called the new village Uniontown, because they were all united!” A bit on the beak, I know… but whatever.

“Well, glad to hear you had a good time!” I said, pulling into the driveway. The iron gate closed behind me, and I parked outside the front door. “That reminds me- I got something in the trunk for the occasion.” I said, getting out and opening Annie’s door for her.

“What is it?” She asked adorably, staring in wonder at the trunk-box. I undid the leather straps and flicked the metal clasps up, moving off to the side.

“I dunno. Why don’t ya look?” I asked, and she wasted no time. The lid was flipped upward, revealing a white cardboard box kept shut with twine. She yanked it out of the trunk, setting it on the ground and using a claw to cut the twine. Dee already had her camera at the ready in the front seat, pulling it up and anticipating the shot.

“WOAH!” She yelled, the bright flash of a camera illuminating my well-shaded front yard. It was a black leather jacket with a pocket specifically for her yo-yo, with holes for her wings and closed by a zipper; which had only recently been (re)invented. Speaking of which-

“How do I put this thing on?” She asked, and I instructed her to sit on her flanks.

“All you gotta do is take this flat metal tab-” I demonstrated, “And put it inside the bigger piece here.”

Ziiiiip!

“And make sure you don’t get your feathers caught in it!” For this reason, I only had it zipped about halfway. I think it looks better that way, though.

“Cooooool!” She exclaimed, trying to look at herself from all angles.

“Why don’t we go inside and look in a mirror?” Dee suggested, and I agreed wholeheartedly. But first, Adrian spoke up.

“While it’s been wonderful, I gotta head home.” he said, and I pulled him in for a quick hug.

“It’s been great hangin’ out! I’ll see you at that thing in a couple days!” I said, knowing full well how hectic things can get. We all had a thousand-and-one obligations, it is what it is. I slapped him on the back, making way for Anastasia to tackle-hug him.

“See ya, Uncle Ade!” He just giggled and said,

“You behave now!” He warned jokingly, and she nodded.

But now, to the mirror! Her bedroom was suitable enough, with a tall standing mirror.

While Anastasia seemed happy with her outfit, I couldn’t help but feel like it was… missing something…

Oh, I know!

“Wait here, Annie!” I said, running out the room past my wife. I got my supplies- comb, feather pomade, and sunglasses. Dee giggled as I sat next to my baby, keeping the camera ready to capture… whatever she wanted!

“Look at me, baby.” I said, using the comb to straighten the feathers.

“What’re you doing?” She asked as I popped open the pomade.

“Fixing your feathers.” I said, scooping a decent bit in my fingers. “It’s gonna be a little cold.” I warned as I started rubbing the stuff in.

“Ewwww! What is that?” She squirmed,

“Don’t move!” She stopped immediately, and I smiled, “I use this stuff in my feathers all the time- helps keep it from popping out of place.” I leaned my head down to prove a point- my feathers staying in their shiny, slicked-back position. She seemed unsure, but she never opened her beak to protest.

Instead of combing front to back, I started from the back and scooped upward. It was a little hard, but I think I got it. Then wiping my hands with a towel, I put the sunglasses on her face and pointed towards the mirror.

She gasped, her eyes probably widening under the glasses. I did her feathers up kind of like a pompadour, the sunglasses… almost completing the look.

“Wait.” She walked up to her dresser, grabbing a lollipop off the top and used her beak to tear the paper off, spitting it off to the side. It hung loosely out of the corner of her beak, and a large teddy bear occupied the corner of the room; she approached it menacingly and said,

“You talkin’ to me?”

My wife wheezed, clutching her side as she proceeded to die of laughter; she’s caught me doing a similar thing in the mirror… multiple times.

“Oh!” I yelled, feigning outrage, “You gonna let that pri- guy get away with that?” I asked, and she blew out the side of her beak like she was smoking an actual cigarette.

“Not a chance!” She unholstered her yo-yo, letting it spin near the floor. She held it there momentarily before yanking it back. Then flicking her arm forward, the metal yo-yo was sent flying towards the bear's face.

Squee! The nose squeaked, and she skillfully withdrew her still-spinning yo-yo and holstered it.

“Woah!” I yelled, scooping Annie up for a hug. “That was awesome!” that looked like it took honest to fuck skill!

“Thanks, Mamma!” she giggled, the faux-serious expression instantly melting away. “I love it!”

I sniffed, tears welling up. “I’m glad, Annie.” Words couldn’t describe how proud she makes me. Dee’s face was already wet with tears when she joined the hug.

“I love you both so much!” She sniffed, nuzzling her feathers gently. She pulled back and looked at Annie. “You hear the news yet?” she asked, and I smiled.

Annie seemed confused, though.

“What news?” She asked adorably, and Dee and I shared a giggle.

I pointed to my wife’s belly and said, “You’re gonna have a sister! A unicorn sister!”

Anastasia’s jaw fell to the floor after that one. “MY SISTER’S A UNICORN!?” She yelled, and I flinched.

“Inside voice, Anastasia.” Dee reminded her, and she giggled sheepishly.

“Sorry…” She said as I waited for my heartbeat to return to normal. “But… that’s so cool! Will she be able to do magic and stuff?” She asked naively, and Dee nodded. “Woah! She can learn a spell for doing homework and stuff!” I rolled my eyes with a grin.

“Maybe she will. But I dunno- I’ve tried magic before, and it never worked.” She rolled her eyes,

“That’s because you’re not a unicorn!” believe me, with how much I know about magic, you could fill… not a book, but a paragraph, more like. And half of that paragraph is the preamble saying I know jack shit about magic.

“No kidding?” I said sarcastically, Anastasia rolling her eyes with a groan. “But in all seriousness, Annie.” I put a hand on her shoulder, locking eyes.

“Yeah, Mamma?” She asked, her outfit looking so fucking adorable on her.

“Whatever happens, you gotta be there for your kid sister. You get it?” She nodded, and I pulled her in for a hug. “Talk to your cousin Clyde. He’ll know more about what I’m talking about than I will.” I’ve only ever been an only child, but I figured if anyone can teach her how to be a good sibling, it’s Ross’s kid. He and Daisy get along quite well, which is only what one could hope for.

“I will, Mamma! Thanks for the jacket!” She said, and I patted her on the back. She went up to Dee, “Thanks Mommy! Tell my sis I can’t wait to meet her!”

“Why not write your sister a letter?” I jokingly suggested, and she gasped! “We’ll send it to her for you!”

“Okay, Mamma!” she bolted to her writing utensils, and Dee and I locked eyes and nodded.

“If you need us, Darling, we’ll be in the living room.” Dee kissed Annie on the cheek and I nuzzled her beak.

True to our word, we only took a small detour to the kitchen on the way to the couch. I was laying on my side with my head on my wife’s lap; With the footrest up, one hoof gently stroked my back… the other was forking pickles out of an open jar and dipping them in… peanut butter.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.” she said, munching on that edible war crime.

“There’s this cheese they make in a small part of Fertilia called Casu Martzu. It’s cheese with live maggots inside it.” I heard another crunch and said, “I think I’ll take that on a stale cracker before I go anywhere near pickles and peanut butter.” She just snorted.

“Eh, it must be good if someone still makes it.” She shrugged, forking another pickle up and scooping it in the peanut butter, while I cringed. God help anyone who’s craving a PB&J in this house. “But anyways… good call on the jacket. Looks nice on her!”

That made me smile. “I mean, I always had my cloaks growing up. Besides- with the way the textile industry’s heading, people’ll start dressing their kids up, too.” She nodded in agreement.

Something I’ve noticed recently is that factories have made fashionable clothing much cheaper than it used to be. In Equestria, if you want a fancy dress, you go somewhere like Rarity’s Boutique to have it made custom for you. In Griffonia, you head down to the local clothing outlet.

Dresses are increasingly common among the middle and even lower class people; A common outfit in-vogue among the people is a button-up with a brown vest and flat-cap. But people also wear dresses, coats, suits, hats… but no pants.

“Fuck pants, though.” I said while scratching my flank.

“True that.” She said, munching on another pickle.

—

“So, it’s settled then?” I asked the members of my family. We were holding a meeting in one of the offices in the Bargain’s skyscraper, built in the name of my father-in-law’s company. Dee and I were there, along with Ross, Adrian, Sinan, the Twins, and Mind’s Eye.

“Next month, Sinan and I are gonna be in Zebra territory to work out a deal with our striped friends. This will supply us with the oil we’ll need to fuel… Well everything, really. Not only that, but the dockyards used to build our oil tankers can be repurposed covertly later on. We’ll need to establish refineries on the east coast, as well as underground oil storage wells to prevent dragon sabotage.” I explained, and everyone followed along in agreement. “Sinan and I will need to get permission from the western desert zebras to build oil wells and refineries. Then we’ll need to get permission from the eastern jungle zebras to build a port for my oil tankers. Between them is gonna be a miles-long pipeline taking oil from one side of the continent and pumping it to the other. While I’d rather just have it shipped across the wider Luna Ocean to avoid dragons altogether, we needed the drydocks on our west coast for the plan to work.”

“An oil spill in the Celestial Ocean would be… very bad for multiple reasons.” Emmie piped up. “The Fish wouldn’t like it.” I nodded in agreement.

“The ducks wouldn’t be happy either, I suppose.” I shrugged, “And to fund all this, we’re gonna commit fraud against ourselves by claiming we have more gold than we actually do. All in favour?” I asked, and everyone said aye!

“Excellent!” I said, leaning back in my chair. “One last thing I wanted to discuss: Our friend, Glimmer… I’m thinking of letting her join this thing of ours, here.” I saw Adrian and Sinan nodding at least, so that was good. “She seems good. Crafty, and full of ideals.”

Adrian nodded.

“Agreed. While it’s early yet, I think she can go far under our wings.” Next, Ross spoke up.

“I dunno… she seems… soft?” I cocked an eyebrow and he elaborated, “If I’m bein’ honest, I don’t think she could pull a trigger.” he shrugged. While the two have spent some time together doing (mostly) non-violent enforcement work, I’ve never seen Glimmer in a fight.

“She’s an incredibly powerful unicorn, she wouldn’t need a gun.” Emmie spoke up, “I did the magic analysys. I’m fairly certain she could use telekinesis to tear someone's heart out of their throat, if she wished.”

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked incredulously, “You’re telling me this just now?” I was a little concerned, not gonna lie.

“Do you trust her?” He asked, and… honestly?

“Yeah. Yeah, I trust her.” I replied, and Emmie just shrugged.

“Then I trust her.” You know what? Fair enough.

I then looked to Sinan. “Any thoughts?” He just shrugged.

“I’m with Emmie on this one. She’s always pleasant to have a conversation with, and if you trust her, then I trust her.” Fair enough.

“Jos? Fin?”

As usual, Jos spoke. “As the professional button here… I’ll kill for anyone in this family.” She smirked then added, “I only ask that they’d be willing to kill for me.” She shrugged, and I nodded.

“So that’s it then- if we find out she’d be willing to be a button to press a button, then we’ll open the books. All in favour?”

Everyone in the room slowly started nodding, allowing the motion to pass, unhindered.

“I can take care of this one.”

“AH! Oh, you-!”

Fin spoke up quite suddenly, causing her twin to startle. “S-Sorry!” she apologised upon hearing the round of giggles in the room.

“Fucks sake! She speaks two fucking words a year and makes me jump every time!” She said with a smirk, pulling her sister in for a hug and asked, “What’d you have in mind?”

Fin just shrugged. “I’ll talk to her. I’m a good judge of character.” Jos nodded in apparent agreement.

Huh…

“Fuck it, why not.” Not like I had any better ideas. “Well now that business is taken care of, let’s start thinkin’ dinner!”

No-one was unsure about that motion, let me tell ya’.

I have a discord server for this fic out now!! It'd be real cool if u joined :333

Wrote this in one day, let's goooo :3

As always, thanks so much for reading! Likes and comments are greatly appreciated :3