As it turns out? Closing the border did fuck all to us. With more and more diamond dog clans surrendering, we were digging up enough gold to make up for it. I mean, it was simple- Mint the coins, and then throw that gold at some new development project. I mean, the people loved that philanthropy shit.

All sorts of things to invest in- we actually opened up our own stock market, right here in the heart of Fertilia. We were also improving the living conditions of the dogs, somewhat- enough to keep them from complaining. Most of ‘em sleep in proper beds now- which you can’t tell me ain’t an improvement.

Another way we appeased them was by respecting their traditions, somewhat. We let them have their holidays, days off, whatever they wanted to keep them happy. Or if not happy- at least complacent.

They know damn well the alternative.

But that brings us back to the gold- we were bringing in so many gold bars from the MacDoggal clan, the mints couldn’t keep up!

Someone proposed that we build more, but then I realized! “Wait, why the fuck are we still not using paper money?” After a few looks of confusion, I elaborated- “Special bank notes that are tied to a set value in gold. Much more convenient than just coinage.”

Then we threw some gold at some textile industry experts, and they made a sort of cloth-based paper which would be hard to copy and easy to verify. For reference, I used the denominations of the US dollar, since that is what I was most familiar with. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it I say. Except the two-dollar bill. I still don’t understand the point of those.

It was at first met with skepticism- but nonetheless eventually it caught on. It was simple- each bit was worth a set amount in Dollars, and to exchange them you simply needed to bring them to a bank. The gold was consolidated into the treasury, locked tight within the castle and kept under constant surveillance.

Eventually, I was gonna spread my hoard across multiple forts- but all in time. While that’s happening, the other kingdoms of the Confederacy are breathing down my back, saying I’m hoarding the wealth- but who cares? What do they matter? We’re building our own economy from the ground up, and I’m not letting them have any of it until they give in and fly my banner.

You may be wondering how? Well simply put, I control the unions. Construction, Electrical, teamsters, all sorts of shit. No public project gets funded without union permission. Do you need a pension loan? All through the union, baby. And if anyone dares try to compete?

---

“‘Trow ‘em in tha harbor, boys!” An Enforcer agent yelled.

---

Well, they usually get the message. And not only that- My army continues to march under my banner, increasing in strength and experience by the day. And believe me- I had the cash and the credit to keep them marching forever, baby.

That’s what wars really come down to- is how much material wealth you can throw at your enemies. A war economy is constantly draining resources, and as the death toll rises, the drain of resources may exceed production. That’s why I believe there was wisdom to my methods- my brutality to thousands saved the suffering of tens of thousands.

I say this, but it doesn’t make it any easier to sleep at night. Fuck. It’s one thing to whack a guy who has it comin’. I know what I did was something else entirely, and you know? I cannot feel sorry for what I did.

I admit- the royal life fits me greatly, and I don’t regret it one bit. Far as I was concerned, everyone else could get fucked- they were suckers! And through my wife deifying me with propaganda, the future of our kingdom looks brighter and brighter by the day!

It had been a year since I took the throne, and I decided it was time to take what was mine. I had a meeting with Twilight to deal with the border issue. Finally- I had big plans, and I believe that cooperation would benefit us both in the long run. And at the same time, I had a sort of… deal going on with certain heirs to certain thrones.

These young heirs want their parents' crowns well before it should be their natural time… so I thought I’d help them speed up the process. That, and I figured it would look less suspicious if I had it taken care of while I was away.

It was perfect- I’d get to have a chat with Twilight, the heirs of the other kingdoms would swear their allegiance to me as the Capo dei Capi- or, Boss of all Bosses. They would be allowed some provincial autonomy as Overboss of their region, but ultimately, they answer to me.

---

The Crystal Empire was chosen as the meeting location, as it was considered neutral territory between our kingdoms. The place was as gaudy as you’d expect for a place made by ponies, what with the weird crystal-based architecture. It was just Dee and I- as we’d left the rule of the kingdom to Adrian- which wasn’t that difficult, anyway.

We walked into the room side-by-side… and were both quite surprised to see Celestia with Twilight. I should’ve figured she’d want her mentors' help.

Twilight had gotten noticeably taller since I last met her, and Celestia? Her age was starting to show. The wrinkles around her eyes were visible to all.

“Ayy, Twilight! Long time no see!” I said, offering my hand for a shake. She glared at me because I knew I was breaking protocol- I just didn’t give a fuck. “Oh, come on! Can we just skip the bullcrap and get on with the meeting?”

“But it’s tradition-” Twilight piped up, but I interrupted her.

“Fuck ‘em! Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people!” I quipped, getting a chuckle out of Celestia.

We both calmed down and took our seats across from each other.

“Let’s start with the obvious.” Twilight said, shuffling papers.

---

Queen Annalise of Nalot lived a lavish life, full of comfort and decadence pushed to the limits of decency. She especially loved her fancy spa treatments- where the masseurs would soothe the pain caused by sitting on her fat ass all day.

So it was only fitting that it was some janitor that had been working there that did her in. I mean- that guy had balls. He waltzed right in the room, and the Queen put her glasses on to see who entered her private spa room… then she was shot in the eye, right through the glasses!

And you know the wild part?

They never found the crazy bastard, either. He dropped the gun and ran- the search party looked for weeks! But they never would’ve found him anyway; Because by that point, all the makeup was removed, and the griffon they were looking for might as well have never existed in the first place.

---

“What I did was prevent a prolonged conflict that would’ve cost hundreds of thousands!” I argued my case.

“But you tormented them! They suffered needlessly!” Twilight rebutted, and she wasn’t wrong either.

“I admit, I did it! But that’s not what this is about! This is about trade between our nations!” I said, and Celestia agreed.

“Perhaps we should get back to that topic? While I don’t agree with the methods, I cannot deny the results.” I couldn’t help but grin. Finally! Someone who wants to talk biz!

---

King Habsburg II of Corvyn was… a bit old, and out of touch, but surprisingly not hopelessly inbred. Seeing the prosperity of Fertilia, his people loved him less and less… so he decided to hold a parade, to boost his approval rating. Or… try to.

It would be a simple affair- the King would be in an open-top carriage, being pulled down a main street. Of course, he wasn’t that popular, and he had to take a detour to avoid protestors.

This was actually bad- since I had a fellow waiting for him on that road! But not to worry, there’s this sandwich shop nearby. Get one of their ham and cheese hoagies, you’ll feel much better about your failure.

Wait. I’m gettin’ some serious deja-vu.

As it turns out- the route the King was taking? Goes right by the sandwich shop! And I think we all know what happens next. My associate got pinched- and his bond was set to… two bits. The judge sentenced him to ten years… then suspended the sentence.

Then he skipped town and laid low so we could push the narrative that the criminal was behind bars. In reality, we made sure to take good care of ‘em.

---

“Hold it up to the light.” I said to Celestia, who was inspecting a dollar bill.

“Oh, I see! Marvelous!” Obviously, it had the red and blue proofs letting you know that it was the real thing. “Twilight, why haven’t we switched over to this yet?”

Twilight rubbed her temple. “But what about that money you stole from Equestria?” Eh, no point denying it.

“Way I saw it, I was just taking back money that was stolen from the Griffons.” Twilight just gave me a flat look.

“Elaborate.” was all she said. Dee decided to answer.

“When the dogs first started to strike, Equestria held a monopoly on coal- one which they took massive, inexcusable advantage of.” She then pulled out a folder full of charts and graphs, detailing things like market prices of various essential resources which the griffons were getting shafted over. “Furthermore, the Immigration Tax Act of ‘01 barred many griffons from being able to escape poverty, of which was enforced by the Equestrians.”

If you didn’t know, ‘01 refers to the year 1001 AB- or, After Banishment. See, Celestia decided to standardize calendars sometime around then, and used her sister's banishment as a reference point. Some say it was so she could more easily count the days until her return- but who knows.

---

Tsar Fyodor of Northumbria loved his fancy dinners. So much so, that sometimes, he wouldn’t be as careful as he should’ve when hiring a new fancy cook. He had that same folly that many royals had- that is, he believed he still had the love and admiration of his people.

He believed wrong.

The Tsar was served borscht as a sort of appetizer, after a large course of zakuski- or, the Northumbrian equivalent of an antipasto platter. Ah, but the poor bastard noticed too late that his spoon, made of silver, had turned an ugly, tarnished black. Soon after that, he fell to the ground, convulsing wildly.

His throat closed up, and he died of asphyxiation that very day. And you know the crazy part? The last time anyone saw that chef was when he was making dinner. Weird, huh?

---

“Surely as a professional businessmare, you could’ve seen the shrewdness of such an action.” Celestia said, and she wasn’t wrong.

“While that is true, it doesn’t change the fact that we were taking back what belonged to us in the first place.” I argued, tapping a finger into the table to accentuate my point. Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but I interrupted. “And before we circle back to my methods, think about it- how could we have really solved this without any suffering? And before you suggest that time heals all wounds- time doesn’t heal starvation, not by itself.” Twilight pursed her lips because she knew that I wasn’t wrong.

“I mean, we’ve been backed into a corner. Fighting back was inevitable no matter how you look at it.” I said, lighting a cigarette. With a puff, I said- “Waiting any longer would have caused undue suffering for untold thousands. And that’s not even beginning to mention the poverty the dogs lived in. In fact- I’m willing to believe that’s what caused this disaster to begin with.”

---

Caesar Lucius of Catlus was… just going about his day, really. Well, I’m going to keep it simple- a servant was able to get him alone and shoot him in the head. But you know, that’s not the crazy part.

The autopsy report revealed that it was complications related to organ failure that actually did him in- the coroner said the bullet came later. It was a secret I was keeping from his heir; I actually tracked down and asked the agent, of whom I totally didn’t send, what really happened.

Old fucker croaked from a heart attack before the assassin could get to him- but thankfully, he was smart and put one between his eyes before bailing.

What, did you expect Caesar to be ganged up on and stabbed by his senators? Come on now, I’m a professional! I can’t afford to be that predictable!

---

“What happened was, when those treaties were first signed, it was early in our industrial revolution, long before the crash. As the quality of life improved for the griffons, the dogs were left to stagnate. Everything they did was by hand- many dens didn’t even have proper lift or minecart setups, instead opting to move the stuff by hand.” I said, and Twilight put a hoof to her mouth in thought. “So eventually, they told us to get bent- and all that progress was undone. They would rather live in poverty than spend another minute serving us.”

I noticed how I tend to justify my actions a lot. I have to wonder if it’s a coping mechanism of some kind. The question is, is it a healthy one?

After a few moments of thought, Twilight asked- “And how are you addressing the problem? Or are you just repeating the same mistakes of the past, just with different weaponry?”

Of course, I thought this one through. “By improving their lives. Did you know that most Diamond Dogs under my rule sleep above ground, in proper beds?” In cheaply constructed tenement buildings reminiscent of Victorian slums, but still an improvement. “Minecarts and lifts are standard in any den. They have the rights to consistent breaks, holidays, maternity leave, and whatever other niceties I can afford to offer. Same with all the workers in my Syndicate.”

I planned to try as much as I can to prevent a gilded age. Twilight seemed less amused.

“While that does line up with our reports, what you did was wrong and cannot go unpunished!” She said, a smug grin caressing her face.

“And what are you gonna do? Declare war? Go ahead, send an army of ponies to an early demise, please! Fuck around and find out!” I mocked, and her smug grin never left.

“Oh, Leona.” Celestia said with a chuckle. “You forget that Equestria has many allies. One of which you stand no chance against.” She said ominously.

Just then, I heard a rattling, like a suit of armor. The feathers on my neck stood stock straight as I realized a possibility I never even considered. A large, scaly possibility situated off the western coast of Catlus. The massive tropical volcanic island was home to the dragons, who’ve long made peace with Celestia, and by extension, the world. The dragons are content to keep to themselves usually, so I never even considered the lizards.

“Dragon Lord Ember, so good to see you!” Twilight greeted her like a friend. The blue dragon was wearing armor made of gold, and covered in sharp looking spikes.

I remembered seeing her around Ponyville, when she was first crowned Dragon Lord. According to the rumors, she couldn’t even read at the time.

“A pleasure to see you again, Twilight.” They shook hands warmly. Evidently, the Dragon Lord took to book learning quite well, and it reflected in the way she carried herself.

My wife looked nervous, and I gently set my hand on her shaking leg, calming her down considerably.

I calmly gestured for them to go on.

“As current Dragon Lord, I rule over the dragons… as the title would imply.” She said, as if reading from a scroll. “And since I must do what is best for my people… our population requires expansion… and I believe the Catlian mountains of Catlus are exactly what we need.” She gave me a smug grin and unrolled a map.

A significant portion of Catlus had a line drawn through it.

“Oh, fuck off!” I slammed my hands down on the table and stood up, much to the shock of my wife and Twilight. “No deal, ya fuckin’ shysters! What kind of jackass do you take me for!?” Needless to say, I was pissed.

“You didn’t even hear our terms, yet.” Ember said, using her draconic firebreath to light a tobacco pipe. She took a heavy drag and blew the smoke across the table, right into my face. I held in my cough- I wasn’t gonna give her the satisfaction. “Unless, of course, you wish to go to war with the Dragons. What was that thing you said earlier? Fuck around and find out?”

I was furious, but I had to force myself to calm down. Dragons are like flying tanks- hard outer shells of scales with massive offensive capabilities, due to their aforementioned fire breath. Currently? We wouldn’t stand a chance.

With a heavy sigh, I asked. “What are your terms?”

Without skipping a beat, she answered. “First of all, the agreed upon territory will belong to the Dragons, and no-one else.” After a few seconds, her implication sunk in.

“You… you can’t do that! That land belongs to us!” I pleaded, “It’s our culture, our heritage! And kicking the people off their land won’t get rid of them, either!” I angrily slammed my fist into the table, “Do you know what kind of refugee crisis this will cause!?” I was so pissed off, I started pacing around- a sort of nervous tick of mine. “I mean, you’re destroying homes, businesses, and livelihoods!” I tried to appeal to their emotional side, like I always have.

It didn’t work. Ember continued like I hadn’t said a word.

“That also includes dominion over the coastal Guano Islands.” I froze, mid step. That is a massive fucking problem.

“Is there a problem, Don Grimfeather?” Celestia asked in a smarmy voice, and I sat back down at the table. “It wasn’t hard to figure out that saltpeter was an essential ingredient in your gunpowder.” She then turned to Twilight, who beamed proudly.

“And I read in a book that guano is rich in nitrates! That’s why you had griffons digging up the stuff, right?” My mouth went dry. I reached for the pitcher of water that was in the middle of the table and poured myself a glass. “Er, nitrates is referring to potassium nitrate, or… saltpeter, as it’s more commonly known.” She said, and I desperately wanted to shoot that smug grin off her face.

She handed me a document, with a line for a signature at the bottom- along with a quill and inkwell.

“What if I refuse to sign?” I asked, though realistically, I knew the answer. She merely cocked an eyebrow, and I sighed, rubbing my temple.

“Well, can I at least get a regular pen?” I asked, and upon seeing their looks of confusion, I elaborated- “I’m left handed. The side of my hand drags along the paper while I write. I can’t use a quill.” After a few moments of hesitation, Twilight pulled a pen out of her suit pocket and levitated it over.

Click, scribbling, click.

“I admit, I’ve been outplayed.” Despite how pissed off I was, I honestly respected it. I smiled and held out a hand to shake.

“Wait, wha-!” My wife spoke up, and I moved a hand to silence her.

We all shook hands amicably, and sat back down.

“You got me today, really. Well done, Twilight- you’re learning!” I was being genuine with my compliment. My amicability seemed to be throwing everyone off- something I planned to use to my advantage. “But I must ask. Can you at least allow the travel of private citizens from one nation to the other?” I asked the princess, and she bit the inside of her cheek in thought. “There’s families that’ve been split and haven’t seen each other in almost a year. What do they got to do with all this?”

Needless to say, Mamma and Phil were forced to stay… but Mamma decided to stay of her own volition, after I told her my personal plans.

After a few moments of consideration, Twilight sighed. “Yeah, that’s fair. Fine, I’ll allow it.” Gotcha bitch! I gave her a wide grin, and we shook hands once more.

My expression of amicability dropped instantly, and I could’ve sworn the temperature in the room itself fell. “Si vis pacem, para bellum. Do you know what that means?” I asked them, and they glanced at each other in confusion.

“It means If you want peace, prepare for war. That is what I believe in. I call it Parabellism- it’s a philosophy that states that in order to protect one's interests, one must be prepared to fight for them.” I explained simply, and Celestia squinted her eyes at me- perhaps as though absorbed in thought. “Do not think I will take this humiliation lying down.” I said, slowly pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. I puffed in and blew the smoke… right in Celestia’s face.

“Likewise, Don Grimfeather.” Celestia said, glaring at me with an air of mock respect. She pulled out a manilla folder. “But I must ask- what happened to Mrs. Spoiled Milk?”

“Died of a heart attack, nothing could be done.” I answered a bit faster than I intended, to be honest. She floated what seemed to be a small photograph out of the folder and snorted, sliding it across the table for all to see.

“HOW DID YOU GET THIS!?” It was clear as day- my wife beating the shit out of her mother while I held her still. Celestia merely giggled.

“Now now, why would I give away my secrets?” She was smug, and perhaps this is retaliation for my insult. She started looking at more photos, mockingly covering her mouth and giggling. “Oh, my, my! Empress Tiara, I must say- your mother has quite the nice set of flanks. Or, had, rather. It’s a shame, really.” She held the photos in front of her like a hand of cards and my wife blushed intensely.

Once again, Celestia’s got me completely off my game! I forced out a chuckle. “What’re you? President of her fan club?” I shouldn’t have said that. I should not have said that. Hindsight and all that. She gave me a cheshire grin as a response.

“Oh, no, of course not. That would be your mother.” She slammed the photos on the table face up and sent them all across the room, and I was forced to see more of Mamma than I ever wanted to see. Dee and I quickly scooped them up with the intention of burning them later.

“Oh, look at this one!” I heard a nearby guard ogling one of the photos of my mother, and I ripped it from his grasp with a gimme that!

“Alright, alright, so you’ve got spies. Somehow. Fine, I can live with that.” I sighed, blushing intensely. “But can we at least agree to no more… dirty stuff like this?” Twilight was the only one in the room that wasn’t laughing at my expense, surprisingly.

“Yes, I agree.” Twilight spoke up, “This is childish and stupid.” She had a sort of disappointment apparent in her voice. Celestia just rolled her eyes.

“Oh, lighten up, would you Twi? It’s just-” But to the surprise of fucking everyone, Twilight finally slammed her hooves down. Even Celestia froze stiff.

“I think… We've all forgotten our places in the world.” She glared at her old mentor. “If I say no more of something, I do not wish to repeat myself. Am I clear?”

She had a point. Didn’t stop Celestia from looking surprised, though. She buckled and nodded to her old student as she finally took the reins from her old master. She turned to Ember.

“While your dragons are occupying the Catlian Mountains, they will stay neutral with the griffons. If anything happens to break the cold peace between our nations, there will be hell to pay. Am I clear?” Ember nodded her head rapidly. “Good.”

"Remember, Leona. This punishment is your own doing. I will be monitoring you, and I expect nothing but your best behavior. Understood?"

Having had enough insult for one day, I held a hand to my temple, “For fucks sakes, you people.” I muttered to myself, wanting nothing more than to go home and take a nap. “You fuckin’ people, I swear.” I made a move to get up- when Twilight spoke up.

“Hold on, hold on, back up- what’d you just say?” Twilight asked, that same snippy tone in her voice. I just laughed it off.

“Oh, come on. What did I say?” I didn’t care, but Twilight had to press further.

“No, no, you people. What does that mean, you people?” I just sighed,

“Look.” I said, firmly. “We are done talking about this.” I pointed angrily at the table, and couldn’t help but grin. “You elitist fuckin’ cocksucker!”

That, evidently, was the final straw. My eyes shot open as Twilight used her magic to literally throw the pitcher of water off to the side.

I admit, we got to roughhousing a little bit.

She lost.

---

On the train ride home, Dee was holding an ice pack to my blackened eye while I smoked a cigarette.

“Well, that was fucked.” I said, and my wife nodded in agreement.

“What now?” She asked, her voice already sounding defeated. “And put out that cigarette! You promised to quit smoking!” She ripped it from my mouth and stomped it out.

The reason why she wanted me to quit smoking?

---

It was about a week ago, when I went into heat. You remember that meeting with Dee and Adrian? Well, it was a… bit more than just a meeting.

It was… so fuckin’ nice. I spent all week getting raw-dogged by Adrian while pleasuring my wife. They’d start with each one of them taking a side of my neck to kiss, which turned me into a quivering mess every fuckin’ time.

We even tried all sorts of new shit- he’ll never admit it, but he loved getting pegged. He can deny it all he wants, but the noises he was making told you everything you needed to know.

If you haven’t figured it out, we were trying for a baby. As one of my best friends, Adrian was happy to take on the role of Godfather to my child.

---

But it was still too early to know if it took, though. I rubbed my belly, just wondering what the future would hold? Of course, I had to stop drinking again and stop smoking again. That… is gonna suck, but what can ya do? I’ve been wanting this for awhile now, anyway.

In fact- that’s how I convinced Mamma to stay. As soon as I mentioned grandkids, she was giving the deed to our old house to one of her girlfriends.

“What’re we gonna do?” My wife asked, hugging my side. She sniffled- I could tell she was scared.

Well simply put, I had a plan. They want a cold war, we’ll give ‘em a cold war. The plan was simple, really.

The dragon population is kept in check by food and available resources. But due to their enormous size, the birthrate of new dragons is… quite paltry. If you take down a fully grown dragon, it takes quite a while for another one to grow to replace it. That’s what we would use to our advantage.

Our guns may not be powerful enough to take down a dragon… but artillery might. I compared Dragons to flying tanks, and I stand by that metaphor. Like a tank- if you can pierce the outer shell, the guts are intensely vulnerable to attack. What I’m suggesting we do is arm ourselves and prepare as much as possible, before taking our land back from the dragon hoard.

That said- I’m not declaring war unless victory is almost certain. After all I’ve worked hard to acquire, I refuse to lose it all now.

As for the saltpeter issue- we already had a decent pile of the stuff amassed, but it wouldn’t last forever. I had some solutions lined up, though. For example- piss. There’s other ways to get nitrates, and we were gonna have to explore every avenue… no matter how disgusting.

Worst case, we’d try to expand below the southern hemisphere. We’ll try not to step on any toes, but the minotaurs can be a bit… ornery. Either way, I’d be creating my equivalent of the Guano Act, which would allow griffons to claim uninhabited guano islands in the name of the syndicate.

All while that’s happening, my wife’s gonna have to kick our propaganda wing into fucking overdrive. People are not gonna be happy when they’re forced to uplift their entire lives just to keep the peace… so we were gonna have to spin this like a fucking turntable.

After all- nobody wants war with the dragons. The plan involved a lot of mudslinging at Equestria and the promise of rising again.

We rose from the ashes once. We’ll do it again, damnit.

And as a cherry on the big fuck-you sundae, we’ve got changelings! God damnit, I’m constantly looking over my shoulder. Guards have been subjected to daily “Blood Checks”- that is, until we figure out a more sophisticated method, we’d simply check the color of their blood. If it’s red, then it’s no problem. If it’s bright green, and somewhat bioluminescent? You’ve got a bug infestation.

God. I’ve been working non stop these past two months since that disaster, and I think the stress is getting to me. These past few weeks, I’ve been getting sick in the mornings from anxiety.

Like just this morning, I remembered waking my wife up, puking my guts out in the bathroom.

“You alright, baby?” She asked, standing at the doorway as I washed my beak out at the sink.

“Yeah, I’m good.” I said, drying my hands off with a towel. “You know, it’s just anxiety. Ever since I quit smoking, it’s like I’ve had a chip on my shoulder, all the fuckin’ time.” My wife, oddly enough, snorted.

“You’re telling me you still haven’t connected the dots?” She asked me as she climbed back into bed, patting my spot with a hoof.

“What you mean?” I asked her, following her example. The nausea returned, so I was glad to at least be laying down. My wife pulled me in, letting me be the little spoon as she often did during times of stress.

“Baby, that’s not anxiety making you sick.” She whispered in my ear, and I blinked twice. “Sweetie, that’s morning sickness. Do you know what that means?” She had a playful tone in her voice, and I felt my heart practically jumping for joy!

“I’m gonna be a Mamma…” I mumbled, reaching above our bed and opening the window. The frigid December air blew in, and my wife cuddled me tight. “You’re gonna be a mamma!” I muttered excitedly, silently wishing the nausea would go away. The cold air helped immensely with that.

“Y-You’re gonna be such a good mamma, t-too.” She shivered, and I felt a little bad for her and shut the window, the lack of cold air making my nausea come back full-force with a vengeance. “I’m proud of you, baby.” She whispered in my ear, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I jumped out of bed and ran towards the bathroom… but had to settle for the trash bin instead. I didn’t even think I had anything left inside of me, to be honest. “Sorry, honey.” I said, sitting on the floor with my back to the nightstand, trash bin still in hand.

I sincerely hoped I didn’t have 9 more months of doing this shit every morning. God, it’ll get real old, really fast.

But hey- I had my Mamma here with me. She promised to help me through this- and something told me I was gonna need her.

In the meantime… I’d get back at Equestria eventually. At first I was considering a space-race… but then I realized.

The Equestrians already unintentionally won the space race, a thousand years ago during the banishment of Luna.

Those fuckers never even gave us a chance to try!

So, arms race it is! Something told me that Twilight and Celestia already figured out the secret to gunpowder, and if they don’t, it’s only a matter of time.

Things… are gonna get really interesting.

LET'S FUCKIN GOOOOOO! 200,000 words baybeeee!

I have a discord server for this fic out now!! It'd be real cool if u joined :333

As always, thanks so much for reading. Likes and comments are greatly appreciated.