I don’t really remember what I did last night, save for driving the liquor into me and crying. So when I woke up in the middle of the night, somehow feeling sober, I was a bit confused.

I looked around my bedroom and found nothing out of the ordinary- in fact, it was too ordinary. My room was neat and tidy, not a single thing out of place. You’re telling me I didn’t break a single piece of furniture or drywall in a fit of drunken rage? Something didn’t add up. Looking out the window, the moon was big and bright- bigger than it probably should be.

“You are confused, I presume?” I jumped, turning around and reaching for a gun that wasn’t there. Who else but the Princess of the Night was standing in the middle of my room.

“...Princess Luna? What the hell is this?” I asked her- then it clicked. “This is a dream, isn’t it?” I’ve heard of the fact that Luna could somehow police dreams- but she never entered mine, so I thought it was some sort of collective rumor, brought on by people having similar circumstances.

“Indeed it is.” She then gave me a warm smile. “It is… quite bold to greet one of such standing in such a crude manner.” I just snorted.

“I bow to no crown and pray to no gods.” my expression morphed to one of sadness. “I bowed to a Tiara… but I fucked up. Big time.”

“That is what I wish to speak to you about, actually. Among other things.” Her warm, almost motherly smile never fell. “Twilight Sparkle sent me a letter on behalf of your mother, asking me for my help.” I just tilted my head in confusion.

“So then… why’d it take ya so long?” I asked her.

“Your willpower is quite strong for somepony so young. It was only with great difficulty was I able to pass your threshold. Were you not unconscious and in an utter stupor, I likely never would have made it in.”

“Ah, I see.” I nodded in understanding- then my eyes shot open. “Waitwaitwait, unconscious? Fuck, I hope I passed out on my side.” The princess gave a small giggle.

“Rest assured, that has already been taken care of.” I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank god. Also, can you have someone put a bottle of water next to my head and like, half a bottle of aspirin? Oh, and at least a pint bottle of rotgut.”

“The hospital staff will be more than accommodating, I assure you. At least in the first two aspects.” I looked at her blankly for a moment- then sighed in annoyance, leaning my back against the bed and resting my head in my hands. “But worry not- we will get to that eventually.”

“Well… fuck it. I figured that would happen.” I looked up at her, “So, you wanna help me, huh? Good luck with that.” I mean, it’s not like she can just change my brain chemistry.

“Indeed! And I would like to start by addressing the… elephant in the room, as it were. Your tongue?” I blinked twice in confusion, but then nodded in understanding.

THWISH! The princess merely regarded it with a fascinated curiosity, wholly unlike the looks of fear and terror it typically inspires. She poked and prodded at it, presumably taking note of its firmness or something.

“Would you mind moving it around a bit?” I did just that, allowing it to wiggle in the air. She took a look at the pointy end and hummed- then nodded in apparent satisfaction, I slurped it back up.

“As you can see, I can’t speak with that thing out.” She smiled and nodded, wordlessly telling me to keep going. “All I’ve found it could do, I’ve learned by bounty hunting for The Crown.”

I went on to explain what little I knew about this thing and its brain and mind sucking capabilities. Brain Sucker… not a bad name for it.

“Fascinating…” she mumbled to herself, giving me some sense of hope. “Open your mouth, please.” She then used a popsicle stick, presumably summoned within the dream itself, to hold my lower beak open. She then smiled and nodded, so I closed my beak and looked at her with a glimmer of hope.

“That… and I don’t mean this lightly, that is the strangest thing I have ever witnessed. I can definitely see how the stress could cause nightmares, though- in yourself and others.” I facepalmed- a little harder than I probably meant to. “However, one of your companions, Mind’s Eye, has allegedly made a breakthrough- but he’s not telling anypony; even refusing to divulge the information to my guards.” Of course, I know Emmie is about as irreverent to authority as I am, so it checks out.

“Well regardless… the thing seems benign, thus far. I’m not happy with it… It made me into a drunk and… and made me lose one of the few people I cared about.” I looked at the floor, and The princess, surprisingly, giggled at this. “The fuck’s so funny?” I asked, annoyed.

“You shall soon find out the irony in your situation. And besides that- the parasite might not be malignant, but it is hardly benign either.” Before I had time to ponder her meaning, the scene around us began to change.

We were sitting at the pub, all the way in Aderleth. I was sitting with Dee, Emmie, and Heavyweight; There was a bottle of absinthe on the table that was a little over three-quarters empty.

“It truly is amazing,” The princess began, “How advanced the world has become in the treatment and recovery of alcoholism.” I cocked an eyebrow at her.

“How is showing me having a good time gonna help?” She just gave me a wide grin.

“The idea is that you play the tape through, as it were. It’s easy to remember all the good times- but what of the bad times?” she asked, and I paused for a moment. That- was definitely a fair point.

“Additionally, you have expressed the sentiment that your problem has done little harm to others- that the people who want you to stop are controlling, trying to dictate your life.” She gave me a stern look, “Hopefully, this will serve as a reminder as to why it’s always a good idea to think about things from the perspective of another.”

Evidently she was done speaking- and the scene began to play out.

For the sake of retaining sanity, from here on out I will refer to myself in the memories in the third person, while my dreaming consciousness and current thoughts will be referred to in the first person like usual. More or less.

Leona and Heavyweight were both completely fucked. I’m talking totally FUBAR- but surprisingly, she hadn’t passed out yet. She was about to reach for the bottle to sloppily pour out two more shots when Dee grabbed her arm.

“Babe.” her voice was stern, bringing back a flood of painful memories. “You’ve had enough. We’re going home.”

“Ya fug… whaaa?” She could barely talk coherently. “Wha da fuck… fuckssakes…” despite this, she wouldn’t let go of that bottle.

“Jus wann’mo… wann’mo and wer gon home.” Despite her protests, Dee still held onto her arm and began to pull it back- and the bottle knocked over. In her clumsy stupor, Leona accidentally elbowed her on her side and I couldn’t help but cringe.

Thankfully, Emmie was able to alleviate the situation by catching the bottle in his magic before it could spill everywhere. “Well my friend, I think it’s time to take our lovers home for the night.”

Dee was idly rubbing her side when she nodded her head in agreement. “You gonna need help?” She asked, referring to the fact that Heavyweight was quite drunk as well. Emmie just shrugged.

“Maybe… however, I think you have your own problems to work through first.” Dee let out a sigh.

“Yeah… yeah, I do. Well, Leona- can you even walk?” the drunk in question nodded slowly, and gave a sloppy attempt at finding her way out of the booth. She was holding on to the table quite hard- but thankfully, it was bolted to the ground. Finally, she was successfully able to remove herself from the booth-

Thunk! She fell forward and landed flat on her beak.

“Ahfer fuckssakes!” she pulled herself up and impotently kicked the booth with her back paw, mumbling nonsense to herself. Meanwhile- I couldn’t help but rub my beak, as though I was able to feel her pain in the memory.

“Come on, baby. Let’s go.” She stood at Leona’s side and instinctively, she wrapped a wing around her back and started leaning into her. Dee looked towards the bartender- “I’ll be back to pay our tab tomorrow. You know we’re good for it.”

On their way out the door, the scene began to shift by itself. The two were walking the streets of Aderleth, with Leona leaning heavily against Dee for support.

“Ah telyuh… ah luvya, babe.” she had a dopey grin on her face which slowly began to shrink- I noticed she was sweating bullets and immediately recognized what that meant. “Gotta puke.” was all she said before bolting into a nearby alleyway to, presumably, get rid of the contents of the night's debauchery.

Meanwhile, Dee just sighed heavily, rubbing the bridge of her nose with a hoof. I just cringed.

“Not my finest moment…” I mumbled to myself. Without looking at me, the princess responded-

“You haven’t seen the last of it.” Ahhhh… fuck.

The rest of the night, Leona looked like a walking corpse, still leaning into Dee for support. Eventually, we reached the house where she struggled to get Leona up the stairs.

“Fucks sake… She should’ve left my drunk ass downstairs. Might’ve taught me a lesson.” And the princess just giggled.

“Care to hazard a guess as to why she went through all the effort to make sure you woke up in a proper bed?” I just shrugged.

“I dunno… moral obligation?” I never really thought about the situation too hard, now that I think of it.

“It’s because she cares about you deeply.” That… sent a pang through my chest. “Or… at least she did, at this point.” Once again, a lump was forming in my throat. “Keep watching.”

Finally they made it up the stairs, and Dee ushered her into our bedroom. Or rather, what was our bedroom. Without so much as a word, the drunkard just flopped onto the bed, passing the fuck out.

Dee just let out a sigh, clicking the lamp off as she joined her then-lover. Everything went dark, but the scene quickly transitioned to the next morning.

The sun filtered through the window as Dee woke up- completely alone. She had a sad look in her eye- and I couldn’t help but feel confused.

“Wait, if I’m not here, then how am I seeing this memory?” I asked the princess. Again, without looking at me, she responded.

“You are not the only one I have visited tonight.” I cocked an eyebrow at her. Was she in Dee’s head, too?

Meanwhile, Dee made her way over to her writing desk and began to fill out her journal. Though her mouth never moved, her words were still being spoken aloud- almost like we were reading her thoughts directly.

Last night could’ve gone better, I suppose. Leona won her tournament! So naturally, we decided to go out for drinks. Everything was going well- until she challenged Heavyweight to a drinking competition.

I still don’t know what the fuck she was thinking. It came just about out of nowhere, too- Heavyweight was bragging about his strength, so Leona, in her infinite wisdom, decided to challenge him for… some reason?

I swear, I love that hen… but we’re gonna have to have a serious discussion about her drinking. She does it far too often for comfort! Every time she drinks, she has the end goal of getting so drunk she can’t even speak, and who else is there to clean up after her other than me?

Granted, it’s not so bad- it’s not like it’s an every day thing. If it was…

No. I don’t want to think about that.

On an unrelated note- I can’t stand waking up alone… I know it’s weird, but just knowing she’s there makes me feel safe. Gah, it’s just all so ridiculous! I know she’s an adult and can make her own choices… I’m just worried what she’s gonna turn into if she keeps it up.

She’s the love of my life, and I want to marry her someday- but this whole drinking like a lunatic thing needs to stop. The worst part is that normally she’s so caring and considerate of my wants and needs, but when she’s on the liquor, that’s all she can think about.

She let out a heavy sigh and closed her diary- meanwhile, I was struck by heavy pangs of guilt at the whole situation.

“I… never really thought of it like that, to be honest.” I was watching as the scene continued to play out- including her going downstairs to clean up the kitchen. Once again- it was something that never once crossed my mind. “Christ… I never did properly say thanks for that.”

She then took out a piece of paper to write out the note she was gonna leave for me- and little did I know, it went through several iterations.

Hey, Leona. I wanted to talk to you about your drinking. If you wake up before 2 PM, please…

“No, no…” she crumpled that paper before starting over.

Hey, Leona. I wanted to say- I had a wonderful time last night! Until you started drinking, that is…

“No, not that…” she once again started anew.

Hey, love. I-

She then groaned, once again starting over.

Hey, baby! I just wanted to let you know- I’m gonna be going shopping with the girls today, and I had an appointment with my hairstylist. Have a good day! If you’re not too fucked up, best of luck on the hunt! Make sure to remember all the details for me.

“Fuck it, good enough.” she said with a deadpan, dropping the note on the coffee table. She was about to leave when she stopped for a second. Thoughtfully, she went and grabbed a blanket from our room and threw it over where I was sleeping on the couch.

“Sleep well, honey.” she said, planting a kiss on my forehead.

I just buried my head in my hands. “Jesus… I really lost all this… and for what?”

Next, the scene changed to one that I was… vaguely familiar with. A beauty salon- one which Dee frequented. She was sitting in one of those head-drying chairs, with curlers in her bangs as well as hanging off the back of her mane. She was sitting next to a couple of her friends from college- referred to collectively as “the girls.”

I never learned their names, to be honest.

“So, DT-” One of them spoke up, using one of Dee’s other nicknames- “I heard Leona got pretty drunk last night.” She giggled, and Dee sighed.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t remind me.” She had a look of annoyance on her face. One of the other girls spoke up-

“Again? That’s, what… third time this week?” I cringed internally. It really was the third time that week, wasn’t it?

“Again, you really don’t gotta remind me. But for sure- having to lug her home while she’s drunk is starting to get a little old.” The girls all giggled in unison.

“You oughta start just leaving her behind- teach her a thing or two about responsibility, you know?” I agree.

“What? No! No, I could never do that… tempting as it is. But no, I care about her way too much for that- it’d just feel wrong, you know?” Once again, my overwhelming sense of guilt continued to weigh on me.

“What d’ya see in that girl, anyway?” Dee, surprisingly, smiled.

“Because she’s a wonderful spouse when she’s not drinking.” She already considered me as her spouse? “She’s always there for me when I need her… always so thoughtful and caring… helps around the house as much as she can, cooks for us… and she fucks really good.” She snorted at the last part, and her friends joined her in laughter.

“She gets me in a way that no one else does, and she has that constant determined fire in her eyes- Every second with her, I cherish… but only when she’s not drinking!” She let out a heavy sigh. “It’s exhausting.” After that, another friend spoke up.

“Yeah, so was Shelley’s husband- and look what happened when he started on the liquor.” Dee just scoffed in response.

“Oh please, I doubt Leona will become abusive- more neglectful, if anything else.”

“That’s still borderline abuse. I mean, what kind of relationship is that?” A girl spoke up.

“Not a very good one, I’ll tell you that for fucking free.” another one said in reply. I think I recognized this one- she got divorced recently, if I recall.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but feel a sort of outrage. “Me? Neglectful? Is she fucking serious?” I asked no one in particular.

“Evidently, you haven’t looked in the mirror as of late.” Princess Luna said with a deadpan. “But fret not! That is what I’m here for, after all.” Before I could ask her to elaborate, the scene changed.

“First, we’ll start by taking a look at how you are when sober.”

We were back in the living room- Dee was sitting on the couch reading a book when she heard me yell “Dee, I’m home!” I immediately recognized the context, but with an added bonus- I could hear Dee’s exact thoughts.

Okay, you can do this. Just talk to her- let her know how I feel about her drinking. Leona went up and nuzzled her cheek.

“I got us dinner reservations tonight!” Her eyes widened- and her thoughts played out. Dinner? Tonight? Really?

“Oh? Where at?” she asked, thinking But I wanted to have that talk tonight…

“You’ll see. First things first, I gotta shower.” Before Dee could even get a word in, her partner was gone.

She just sighed in defeat. I guess it can wait until after.

The scene skipped a little- Dee was wearing her dress and I was wearing my hat and frock coat.

“After you, darling.” Leona held the door open- and Dee gasped when she saw what awaited her.

See, I never went into detail in my journal about how our date went- I never even mentioned the carriage which I hired to take us to the restaurant. It was nothing too fancy- but it was a carriage!

I smiled looking at how Dee’s eyes lit up. The driver held the door open and the lovely couple got comfortable in their seat. They were leaning up against each other, looking happy as can be.

It was a wonderful memory. Then I heard Dee’s voice in my head again, this time much louder and more recent than this scene.

“The wedding’s off, Leona!” It was like a lightning strike in the middle of a quiet field of flowers- and served as a painful reminder of what I lost.

“Keep that pain in your heart. It will provide a stark contrast as to what has yet to come.” Luna spoke up and I just sighed.

The night went on, and I was forced to watch as past me and my love were just sitting next to each other, enjoying each other's warmth and company. Every once in awhile, Leona would sneak in a quick nuzzle and Dee would giggle and blush.

“Your hair looks fantastic tonight, baby.” ‘I’ said to Dee.

“Oh, thanks honey.” I replied with a giggle,

“You really know how to make a girl feel jealous with your looks, you know that?” Dee rolled her eyes in response.

“Oh, knock that off! You’re the most beautiful gal in my life, and if you try to disagree, then I’m gonna-” She gave Leona a mock glare, waving a hoof in the air- “Kiss you on the beak so you stop talking.” she said, proceeding to do that anyway. Dee broke the kiss, and Leona spoke up with a smirk-

“Oh, please. You only love me because I indulge your sick, depraved feti-” I was interrupted, once again, by Dee planting her lips to my beak. She was blushing as she glared at her partner.

“Seriously, stop that. You’re smart, funny, caring, and beautiful! And it honestly hurts a little to hear you deny that fact. It’s like… I dunno, it just makes us feel less… valid? If that makes sense.”

“...Ah, geez, I’m sorry.” Leona sheepishly apologized, “Guess I never really thought of it like that.” She moved to pull Dee in for a hug.

“It’s alright, just… Well, just stop doing that.” she said with a giggle.

Eventually, we made it to the restaurant where I was forced to rewatch all the adorable moments I’d likely never have the chance to experience again. The feeling was bittersweet, to say the least.

Then came the time when I finally proposed to her- and I couldn’t bear to watch.

“Keep looking, Leona. Watch closely, and know what you lost.” She spoke in a stern voice that dredged up bad memories. What else could I do?

“You know… we’ve been together, what, three years now?” As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t look away. How could I?

“And you know, I’ve enjoyed our time together. You get me in a way no one else really can. I love you. I guess what I’m trying to ask is…” I watched myself pull a small wooden box out of my coat- and just then, I could hear Dee’s thoughts aloud.

No… no way this is happening. Despite the denial, she sounded quite excited.

“Diamond Tiara… I want you by my side, come hell or high water.” The box popped open, and Dee stood there in stunned silence.

But… but what about that conversation we were gonna have? She appeared to be asking herself, I suppose. I just… just… fuck it.

“I… y-yes. Yes, yes!” she launched forward and wrapped her arms around me, and I did the same with my wings. “Yes!”

Tears formed in my eyes as the scene began to shift once more. We were in our bedroom- apparently, not too long after we had our fun that night. Honestly, I’d almost forgotten the conversation we had then.

We were cuddled against each other; I had both my wings wrapped around her and she had her hooves wrapped around me. We both had dopey smiles on our faces and faint blushes; topping off the look, her mane and my head crest were both quite messy and disheveled.

Speaking of topping, Dee was the first to break the blissful silence.

“I had… such an amazing time tonight.” she almost sounded drunk from the pleasure and exhaustion. “Best. Night. Ever.” I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Glad ta’ hear it.” Despite our slurring, we were both 100 percent sober- that glass of wine we each had with our dinners was so low in alcohol, that the one glass I drank didn’t do a thing to me. My voice sounded a bit hoarse though, on account of the choki- uh…

Nevermind. We just had good, clean sex in the proper Christian missionary position, yessir. Totally. Definitely, there was no extreme sado-masochism going on here.

“You know the best part?” Dee said, and I hummed in response. “We were both sober.” at the time, I just cocked an eyebrow in confusion.

“And jus’ what the hell’s that supposed to mean?” Maybe it was because I was tired at the time, or perhaps I was still absentmindedly basking in the afterglow- but I never noticed Dee’s sighing and dejected look until now.

“Nevermind… good night, honey. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. With all my heart.” I couldn’t help but smile- but of course, we just can’t have nice things. Once again, a voice from my memory echoed all through my head.

“I fucking will if you go behind my back. I will cancel our wedding the day of and I’ll never want to see you again.” From when she first threatened to leave.

I shook my head. “God… why didn’t I just fucking listen?” my voice began to crack faintly.

The Princess tapped her hoof on the ground twice, getting my attention.

“Now, let us do some… comparing and contrasting.” I just shook my head.

“No… no, I don’t-” The next scenes went by at a rapid pace- scenes of me being a drunken fool at the expense of the love of my life.

First was when I was still drinking openly. They all shared the same theme- me being drunk and disorderly in public while Dee attempted to get me home safe. Everytime she would suggest that I stop, I would give her a snarky comment or flat out ignore her.

I felt awful- and it only got worse from there.

When I quit drinking during the day- god, I was such a fucking miserable bastard. I noticed just how cold and distant I had been- when normally, I’d wanna smile just from being with her.

It was… a harrowing scene that morning when I was passed out in the alley. She’d woken up in my bed, alone. She was quite sad- but when she went downstairs and realized I wasn’t there, she damn near got herself worked up into a panic attack wondering where I went.

And of course, what hurt the most, was witnessing the final week or so of our relationship. All the lying, all the bullshit- and for what? And come to think about it, what did I really expect from all that nonsense? Surely, I knew I couldn’t keep that secret up forever?

Just when I thought I could hold it together- the final confrontation happened; and I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore.

“The wedding’s off, Leona. Now you can drink to your heart’s content! Go ahead and drink all the booze in Ponyville for all I give a fuck. I just hope you’re happy.” She stormed off, leaving me behind- and time seemed to freeze.

I was just sobbing into my hands as those words played over and over in my head.

“W-what was the p-point of all this? To remind me how much of a piece of shit I am? Like I don’t already fucking know!?” I was… angry at the princess. Mainly because I felt like I couldn’t project my emotions onto anything- or anyone- else.

“Tell me, Leona. What is your take away from all this?” She asked, and I threw my arms wide.

“I don’t fucking know! That I’m a drunk bastard? That I drove away the woman who mattered the most to me without even realizing why at the time? That I wound up in the hospital and that no one loves me? That the woman who was gonna be my wife fucking hates me now?” The princess still gave me a stern look- my focus was entirely on her.

“Then let me ask you this; given the chance to do it over again, would you? Would you change for the better?”

“Fuckin… What kind of question is that? Yes, I fucking would! I would absolutely change how I was acting in a fucking heartbeat.” I groaned and rolled my eyes. “But I can’t fucking do that, now can I?” At least, I wasn’t gonna try my chances at being reincarnated a second time.

“Indeed, that is the case. Now, I ask; what will you do when you wake up?” I just blinked twice in response.

“I’m giving up the booze, for real this time.” And I was truly serious as well. “I’m ready to quit- even if it’s gonna be hard… well, at least I have Mamma left.”

“Furthermore- If Miss Tiara were here right now, what would you tell her?” I swallowed a lump in my throat.

“I… I’d tell her that I’m quitting drinking. And that I was sorry for the way I was acting… so fucking sorry…” I sniffled, “Then she’d understandably tell me to fuck off because of my track record of being a lying cunt… And then… and then I’d thank her.” The princess cocked an eyebrow at this.

“I’d thank her for being there with me, for sticking around for as long as she did, for trying her best to make me become a better person, for making the last three years of my life the best ever…” I just sank to my haunches, sobbing with my head buried in my hands. All I could bring myself to do was mutter- “I’m sorry… so, so sorry.”

Then- I felt something that made me confused. Two regular- sized hooves grabbed my shoulders. I looked up.

“It’s alright, honey.” I looked into Dee’s wonderfully blue eyes and noticed her soft smile. I blinked away tears. “I forgive you.” Sensing my confusion, the princess spoke up.

“I haven’t been entirely honest with you, Leona.” She gave me a smile. “We’re not actually in your head. Miss Tiara? Would you care to explain what happened?” I honestly felt my heart skip a beat.

“So wait… does that mean-”

“Yes. I’m as real as I can get.” She pulled me in for a tight hug. “Just let it out- we got time.”

So, I just sat there, crying over her shoulder and babbling out barely-legible I’m sorry’s.

Eventually, I was able to calm myself down.

“So… what happened?” I asked, almost afraid of the answer. “And… and why were you so quick to forgive me? What if I was lying?” I asked her, and she chuckled.

“That would have been my assumption… but you’ve already proved just how much you regret everything- whether you remember it or not. Lemme show you.”

The scene transitioned and we were in my living room. Mamma was just sitting on the couch, head in her arms when she heard the door knocking.

Who else but Diamond Tiara was at the door.

“Hello, Miss Grimfeather. Is… is Leona here? I want to talk to her.” Mamma glanced up the stairs briefly.

“You can try… but I wouldn’t recommend it. She won’t even talk to me- and more than likely, she’s probably too drunk to speak.” Dee just sighed.

“Mind if I come in, then? I… I want to try.” Mamma stepped to the side wordlessly as Dee made her way up the stairs. I followed, and saw her knocking on my door.

“Leona? Leona, it’s me… are you alright?”

“Mgo’way.”

“Leona, please… tell me you’re alright?” there was a particular sadness in her voice that hurt to hear.

“Ahdun… dunwa- dunwa see… me-gin.” I could hardly understand a word I was saying. Dee sighed.

“Well… I’ll be waiting here for when you sober up. I… I really want to talk to you. Sober.”

I didn’t even grace her with an answer- presumably, I passed the fuck out.

She sighed dejectedly as she went back downstairs. Just as she was about to leave, Mamma spoke up.

“If you want to stay and talk, I’d be more than happy to.” Dee paused briefly before sighing.

“Yeah… Yeah, I would like that.” She turned around and sat down on the living room chair. After a few seconds of silence, Mamma spoke up.

“You mean the world to her, you know.”

“I know, but… I feel the same way, and yet… I don’t know… I feel so betrayed.” Mamma nodded.

“I understand. You have every right to be upset about it.” Dee groaned in response.

“So why do I feel so bad, then!?” her voice began to crack. “Before she started drinking, she was… such a wonderful, caring spouse, and I… she was always there when I needed her! She said that she wants me to be by her side, come hell or high water… but ever since the liquor, she’s grown so cold and distant that I’m not sure if she’s the same person anymore!” She began to rub her temple with a hoof. “I just don’t know what to do…”

After a few moments, Mamma spoke up. “Honey, I wish there was a single, solid answer I can give you, but there’s just not. I will say this, though- I’m gonna try and be by her side, no matter what. I’d like for you to do the same, but ultimately, that’s your choice.” Dee sighed deeply.

“Do… do you think there’s a way to fix this? To get the old Leona back?” Mamma shrugged.

“It depends whether or not she’s learned her lesson. I don’t know what happened between you two earlier, and I’m not sure if I want to know the details.” Mamma gave a warm, nostalgic smile. “I’ve known Leona her whole life. If she didn’t learn anything, then she’ll eventually find an enabler. But if she realizes what she did wrong? I’m willing to bet she’ll do anything to try and win you back- whether you want her to or not.”

“Fucking right I would.” I muttered, and Dee shushed me.

“You… seem to know quite a lot about this stuff, Miss Grimfeather.” Mamma snorted, to my surprise.

“Oh for fucks sake, just call me Amelia.” She gave Dee a warm smile- “And of course I do- I was raised by an alcoholic. I know the struggles.” Her expression fell slightly. “They either learn to live without the booze… or they die. That’s all there is to it. But you know the difference between my Gramma and Leona?” She asked, and I myself was curious.

“Gramma had no one in her life who would even try to stop her. I felt helpless and all her friends were enablers. And if those friends sobered up? She’d leave them and find new friends.

“It’s your choice what you do… but I think we could help her out of this. It might take time, and she might resist at first… But I think-”

BANG!

The silence weighed heavily in the room- a literal deafening silence. You could’ve heard a fly landing if you wanted. A chill ran up my spine as I took in their expressions- looks of abject horror and fear as it slowly dawned on them just what could’ve made that noise. I couldn’t help but hold a hand to my beak in shock.

Dee was the first to get up. “LEONA!” She bolted up the stairs and Mamma followed- and she literally bucked the door down.

The scene was… harrowing, if not confusing.

There was a bullet hole in my roof and the smell of sulfur hung thick in the air. In my right hand was one of my pistols and I seemed to be struggling; As though a twisted turn of events, the parasite was wrapped around my wrist- preventing me from bringing the pistol any closer to my head.

“Holy Christ…” I mumbled aloud. In the memory I was mumbling incoherently, writhing around on the floor as Dee sprinted and yanked the gun out of my hand. Since that danger was gone, the parasite went back into my mouth, all on its own accord.

I was saved by the very thing that caused my drinking to ramp up to the degree it did.

What. The. Fuck.

“Leona, what the fuck are you doing!?” she yelled, grabbing onto my shoulders. I just kept babbling incoherent nonsense, which began to slow. “Leona…” She pulled me in for a hug and I rested my chin on her shoulder. “We’re gonna make it through this, okay? We’re gonna help you whether you fucking want it or not.”

“MM… Mkyer…” was all I could say, apparently.

Dee turned to Mamma- “Go get an ambulance.” she nodded sternly as she ran down the stairs.

Then she grabbed me by my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. “Leona. Leona, look at me.” Despite being heroically drunk, my eyes moved to hers. “I don’t know if you can hear this, but you are going to make it. Everything will be okay.” Just then- the faintest smile appeared on my- or rather, her- beak.

Then my eyes rolled back.

“No, no, stay with me! DO NOT fall asleep!” my body went limp and collapsed into her arms. “No.. no please, don’t be… don’t be dead, please!” Her voice cracked terribly.

The scene faded, and I was left standing wide eyed and my beak halfway to the floor.

“You might wanna close your mouth. You’ll catch a louse that way.” Dee spoke up with a giggle. I closed my beak, but didn’t even grace her with a proper response.

“What. The. Fuck.” was the only thing I could bring myself to say. “Did I… Holy fuck, I really did try to blow my brains out. The fuck.” Not only was I feeling guilty- I also felt disgusted at that fact. “And the louse… the louse saved me!” I was just sitting on my haunches, looking at the ground when Dee gave me a hug from the side.

“Now do you see what I meant? About why I believed you?” I just nodded slowly, still having trouble processing the whole thing.

The situation was so absurd that for the first time in ages- I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh, whatever.” I nervously glanced towards Dee. “So does that mean-” but she answered my question before I could continue.

“Wedding’s still off.”

My smile shrank immensely and I looked off to the side. “I… I understand.”

“But.” My eyes shot open and I regarded her with a smile. “If you can promise me that you’ll stay off the booze… for real this time… then we’ll have the wedding next year.” She then gave me a glare. “I fucking mean it! If I catch you going behind my back like you did, I will shoot you myself. Am I clear?”

Not even gonna lie- she scared me a little. I know she doesn’t have fingers- but I don’t doubt that she’d find some way to pull the trigger. I just nodded rapidly.

“I promise, baby. I promise to stay off the booze… and to be a more considerate person overall.” To the best of my abilities, that is. Dee smiled, and grabbed my hand with her hoof.

“You’re not gonna be doing it alone. We’re all gonna help you.” I gave her a nuzzle on the cheek.

“And that’s all I could ask for…” That all said and done, I had a brief thought. “So… we’re in a sort of shared lucid dream, correct?” I looked towards the princess, and she nodded slowly.

I gave my girlfriend a sultry grin- then gestured over to Luna. “You think you could… leave us for a bit?” Luna just gave me a blank, almost annoyed look.

“Perhaps you should extend your promises of consideration to the ponies responsible for washing the hospital linens, hmmm?” I blushed, realizing that she had a fucking point. Dee just laughed. “And besides- you’re waking up, now.”

She gave me a smile and disappeared- then everything went white.

Remember when I made that offhand comment two chapters ago about Mamma needing to talk to Twilight about something? :P

Also- we have coverart now!!! Courtesy of @MiniKrasnyy!

Look at this smug bitch!

And come on- did you really think they'd be apart for long? They're such a cute couple- like if Olga of Kiev and Elizabeth Bathory were in a lesbian relationship :3

She just needed a reminder that yes, people do care about her.

As always- thank you for reading! Likes and comments are always appreciated :P