The sun slowly rose of the town of Ponyville, the sun's rays flooding in through the windows of Fluttershy's cottage. As the rays touched our hero's face, he lurched forward and aimed his arms at the window, putting one of those fingers on each hand up.

"Fuck you, Sun!" he exclaimed,

He quickly rose up off his couch/bed and quickly snorted a line of cocaine from the nearby table, then opened up a can of red bull, quickly mixed it up with some Mountain Dew, and downed it in one go.

"HELL YEAH! YOU PARTY HARD OLE' CHAP!" the newly awaken gentlemanly raptor exclaimed.

"FUCK YEAH! IT'S THE ONLY WAY!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" Fluttershy shouted from upstairs.

"Lawl k." Spiderman said, getting up from his bed/couch and making his way into the kitchen. He opened up the kitchen and pulled out a leftover breakfast burrito Spiderman had made using a pancake as a tortilla. Don't try this shit at home, kids. It'll give you a heart attack.

By the time 60's Era Spiderman started to dig into his pancake breakfast burrito and Fluffles got started on a bowl of cheerios, a visibly pissed off Fluttershy made her way into the kitchen, a bottle of whiskey in hoof.

"Morning sunshine," Fluffles greeted.

"Eat a dick lizard," she responded, taking a swig of her whiskey and tossing it across the room, the bottle exploding offscreen.

"We gotta a bleeder lawl." Spiderman said.

Fluttershy sat at the dining room table beside her two companions and pouted in a manner that would turn the meanest person into Mr. Rogers and likely give them diabeetus in the process. "Am not!" she said, "I just wanted to sleep in today."

"Lawl like I give a fuck." our hero said, finishing off his burrito.

Before Fluttershy could tell him when he could shove his lack of fucks, there was a knock at the door.

"Fluttershy, could you-" Fluffles began to ask.

"I'm on break. I'm in the union. I don't do shit for nobody." Fluttershy said.

"Meh." Spiderman said, rising from his seat and making his way over to front door.

"Moshi moshi!" he said as he opened the door. There stood a carise earth pony with a pink mane and an ass tattoo with three flowers. And dayum, she had a booty.

"Oh, hello Mr. Spiderman." the bootylicious mare greeted with a smile.

"Hay." he responded.

"My name is Cheerlee, and I teach at the schoolhouse down the road. My students have idolized you since you and your friends took out those terrorists, and I was wondering if you could come in and read to them."

"I can't read lawl." he lied.

"Oh please, Mr. Spiderman? You can read anything to them that you want."

Our looked behind her and got a good look at her booty.

UNF!

"Anything?" he asked.

"Yes. Anything." she responded.

"Lawl k." he said.

"Oh thank you! You don't know how much this means to me- I mean will mean to the children. Stop by anytime!" she said as she turned around and trotted away.

As our hero closed the door, his raptor bro appeared from behind him. "Do she got a booty, ole' chap?"

"She doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo." Spiderman responded.

Around noon, our hero arrived on the scene with his raptor companion in tow and book in hand. It was apparently lunch time for the schoolchildren, as most were out frolicing about.

"Woah! Is that Spiderman!?" one of the kids asked to the others in the general area.

"Of course it is. Who else dresses and walks like that? Who let you out of the retard classroom anyways?" another kid responded.

"I dunno durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr." the original kid responded.

"Spiderman! Over here!" a familiar voice called out.

Spiderman looked around like a fucktard before spotting a familiar teacher heading over to them from the playground area.

"My word. She does have a booty." Fluffles exclaimed in shock, his jaw dropping at the sight of that bootylicious booty.

"Unf." Spiderman said, biting his bottom lip and putting on a pair of sunglasses. Where did he get it? Well, the smell would be a pretty good hint.

"I'm so glad you decided to show, Spiderman. Who's your friend?" she asked

"He's Fluffles." our hero responded.

"Fluffles? But he's a dragon." Cheerilee said, looking at the faggot dressed in red and blue spandex with a perplexed expression.

"Well, actually, I'm a velociraptor," the raptor spoke up, "and my name isn't Fluffles, it's Sir-"

"Fluffles." Spiderman said, interrupting the gentlemanly raptor.

"A thousand curses upon you, Spiderman!" Fluffles said, aiming his arms at the "superhero" and bringing up one finger on each claw.

"Like I give a fuck lawl."

"So, what book did you bring?" the teacher asked, reaching for the book. Spiderman immediately did a double backflip and shot his hand out in a stop motion.

"He wants it to be a surprise." Spiderman's raptor bro said.

"Oh... well, I guess that's fun, right? I'm sure your choice won't disappoint."

After that, Cheerilee escorted the human and the talking velociraptor to the teacher's lounge, where the two chilled and drank coffee while they waited for the bootylicious teacher to get the class ready and come get them. After a few minutes, a pink haired mare poked her head through the door.

"Mr. Spiderman, are you ready?" she inquired.

"My body is ready." our hero responded as he and his talking velociraptor companion rose from their seats and followed the teacher out the door. Several moments later, our hero found himself outside of a closed door. The sounds of battle children talking, shouting, and laughing emanated from inside the room.

"I'll be just a moment." she said with a smile as she opened the door and made her way in.

"Class! Quiet down!" the teacher called out.

The noise quickly died down and the children turned their attention to the teacher.

"Today, we have a very special guest. He will be reading a book of his choice to you. I'm sure you'll enjoy it."

"Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!" a pony sporting a diamond tiara exclaimed, preforming a fake yawn.

"BITCH, SAY THAT AGAIN AND I'LL GO IN THERE AND SNAP YOUR FUCKING NECK!" Spiderman bellowed from outside the classroom. The smug filly suddenly appeared like she was going to shit herself.

Cheerilee smiled meekly. "Class, introducing our guest reader for the day, Spiderman!"

Music started playing out of fucking no where as Spiderman moonwalked into the room and did a spin before the class, clutching his groin.

"Hee hee!" he exclaimed.

"WOAH!"

"IT'S SPIDERMAN!"

"Miss Cheerilee, Ah think Diamond Tiara just shit herself."

"IS THAT A DRAGON?!"

"For the last time, I'm not a dragon, I'm a velociraptor!" Fluffles exclaimed as he walked in and stood beside our hero, who struck a heroic pose.

"This my nigga, Fluffles. Everyone say hi Fluffles." Spiderman said.

"Hi Fluffles." the class, save for one student who smelt of shit, greeted. Fluffles bowed before the class.

"Hi kids! Do you like violence?" our hero inquired.

"Yeah yeah yeah." the kids responded.

"Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did?" (

"Yeah yeah!"

"Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is?"

"Huh?" the kids all asked in unison. Cheerilee's eye twitched.

"Errr... Spiderman..."

"Oh right, lawl." our hero said, as he pulled a fold out out of fucking no where and extended it with a single shake. He sat down in it and opened up his book.

"I'm going to read the Poop That Took a Pee to you. Lawl." our hero said.

"Chapter one..." he began.

"Douglas had to poop, his butt was all stinky because he had to poop so badly. There was a gross woman named Rebecca who was sunbathing all naked and she was fat. Douglas walked up to her and said, 'I need to poop'."

"'Okay', Rebecca replied, 'I like poop'. Douglas squatted down over the fat sunbathing lady and went poop. The poop sat there on Rebecca's boobs, looking like a weiner."

'"Why are we here?'", Douglas cried as poop came out his weiner in a long thin strip, it was weiner-poop, which is the grossest poop of all. The peepee got on the woman's leg and she screamed, pooping out her boobs. And so when the pee got mixed with the poop it smelled like a butt."

"And the poop and the pee lived happily ever after." our hero said as he slammed the book shut and pegged a sleeping diamond tiara wearing filly in the head. "THE END! Lawl."

Everyone in the room, save from a diamond tiara wearing bitch whom was suffering from head trauma, clapped and cheered for our hero. As he struck a pose, the bell ringed, signalling the end of school.

"See you all tomorrow, class! Dismissed!" Cheerilee said. The class cheered, packed up, and trampled the diamond tiara wearing brat as they raced out of the room.

The bootylicious teacher turned to our hero. "I had my doubts in the beginning... and that book was quite disgusting, but I'm happy with how it turned out. Would you mind coming to help out every so often?" she asked.

Spiderman stole a quick peak at her booty. Unf! DAT ASS!

"Lawl k." he said.

"Great! I'll come get you if I ever need anything from you."

"K." he said, before turning to his dino companion, "Let's bounce."

So the two left and went home, then spent the rest of the day watching House and Power Rangers with Fluttershy, with plenty of beer, mountain dew, and pizza.

CHOOSE YOUR PATH, WATCHER OF GIRLY PONIES!

()Go out clubbing with the talking velociraptor gentleman and Lyra

()Go chill with Discord and his bitch

()Go to the new bar in town with Twilight and get drunk

()Troll the everlasting shit out of Rainbow Dash the hot librarian

()Bake with Pinkie Pie. Acquire money and pot brownies

()Smoke weed with Luna then play some Haylo with her (LUNA TIER 2 UNLOCKED)

()Smoke weed with Applejack and help her take down some rival dealers

()Play video games with Spike

()Teach Fluffles the meaning of friendship

()Teach Fluttershy how to french kiss THEN GET FRIENDZONED BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T DO THIS FIRST

()Volunteer at a cripple pony school with Fluttershy and attempt to score