Honey and Apples (AG's version)

by AspergerGoodness

Chapters

Prologue (AG's version)
Help from Nowhere (AG's version)
Dreaming Up an Idea with Pinkie Pie (AG's version)
A Honey Happy Ending (AG's version)

Prologue (AG's version)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is AspergerGoodness's version of blaa6's "Honey and Apples". I guess you could see it as a parody of some kind. I'll just take his story and rewrite it to make my own version, but the plot isn't changed at all. Y'all okay wit' that? Let's get this started then... shall we?

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It was a nice, normal day at Ponyville. The birds were singing (golly...), Derpy was derp-eyed, everything was juuuust peachy. Twilight and Pinkie Pie were in the former's tree. Twilight has been wanting to tell Pinkie Pie something really important, and today was the day.

"Pinkie...", said Twilight, nervously.

"Yes?", responded Pinkie Pie.

"I've been wanting to tell you something that I really think you should hear."

"Go ahead."

"I'm... kind of... like... interested in you... or something."

Pinkie turned silent for a while, as Twilight sweat nervously. She then pecked her friend on her cheek.

"No need to be so nervous, silly.", said Pinkie Pie. "I love you just as much."

"Really?!", said Twilight.

"Yeah! And now I know you love me too! I'm sure we'll be great lovers!"

As Twilight hugged her new marefriend, Spike's cough was heard upstairs. Twilight looked over to see him staring into the two loving ponies.

"Oh... hi, Twilight!", said Spike, knowing that he'd been caught. "Nice weather we're having, huh?"

"Spike!", exclaimed Twilight. "Were you spying on us?"

"No. I mean... yes. I mean... maybe. You make a great couple!"

"That's okay, Twilight.", said Pinkie Pie. "Spike, do you swear not to tell anyone?"

"I swear."

"Pinkie Pie swear?"

"Pinkie Pie swear."

"... I don't see you Pinkie Pie swearing."

"My eye is still hurting from last time. I'd rather swear verbally, thank you very much."

As Pinkie Pie giggled, Twilight realized something.

"Now that we're marefriends, what are we supposed to do next?", asked Twilight.

"I was hoping you would know the answer.", said Pinkie Pie.

"Why don't you go out for a romantic walk in the park, while I clean things up over here?", suggested Spike.

"Are you sure you can take care of everything?" said Twilight.

"Now, who's your #1 assistant again?"

"Haha, thanks, Spike. So... shall we begin?"

"Okie-dokie-lokie.", said Pinkie Pie, as they got outside, extremely close to each other.

Little did they know that a voice would speak to their friend, Rainbow Dash, soon enough.

"Who said that?", asked Pinkie Pie.

"It doesn't matter right now.", said Twilight, kissing Pinkie's cheek.

Help from Nowhere (AG's version)

Rainbow Dash, the sunglasses-wearing, rainbow-maned cyan pegasus, was relaxing under a tree, admiring the scenery. It was pretty nice. Suddenly, though, she heard something weird-sounding in the air. She lifted her glasses, shrugged it off and proceeded to relax.

"Rainbow...", said a funny-sounding voice.

"Who's there?!", said Rainbow Dash, in an attacking position.

"I'm not the bad guy. I want to help you."

Rainbow Dash loosened up and sat back down.

"Who are you?", asked her.

"Oh right, I forgot."

Rainbow Dash saw a huge aura of blue and gray colors in front of her. As the aura died down, Rainbow saw a shaggy-maned, glass-wearing, yellow-coated unicorn with a pencil for a cutie mark. There was still a white glow behind him, though, making him look like some kind of god.

"I forgot to turn visible.", said the nerdy unicorn.

"What else can you do?", asked Rainbow Dash.

"Well, I can turn this whole story into a nonsensical mess if I want to, and I can draw cartoons. That's pretty much it."

"... the hell you're talking about?"

"You wouldn't understand. Anyway, my name is AspergerGoodness. But you can call me AG. Or Vincent. Whatever you find best."

"Nice to meet you, AG."

"Ahem. I'm here to help you with Applejack."

Before he could say anything else, Rainbow Dash punched him to the ground.

"How the heck do you know that?!", said Rainbow Dash.

"I just do, okay? I know everything."

"I suppose you're right..."

"Well... I don't suppose you have any ideas to go to her and talk to her about that, do you?"

"... no."

"This is why I'm here."

Rainbow Dash remained silent for a while, considering the opportunity.

"What do you have in mind?", asked her.

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"Trust me.", said Vincent. "If this doesn't work, I don't know what will."

"I suppose I can trust a yellow, four-eyed unicorn with a birdnest for a mane.", joked Rainbow Dash.

"What, isn't this trustworthy enough?"

"... you have a point."

"Anyway, I've got a nice little scenario here. See if you like it."

"A scenario? What am I, a puppet?"

"... ha, ha."

"Hilarious, I know."

"Enough. Here's the plan: you go over to Applejack's place, and invite her to go watch the sunset with you. And if that's not romantic enough..."

Vincent took out a honey jar from out of nowhere.

"Honey?", said Rainbow Dash.

"Before the sunset, tell her to take a few apples with her. Have you ever tried apples with honey? Tastes wonderful."

"Okay? Didn't quite catch that last part, but your plan is pretty good."

"Trust me - if you follow my plan, she'll be begging for your heart! HA HA HA HA HA-- *cough*"

"You're weird."

"Thanks. Now, follow me."

Then, she woke up. I told you I could turn this into a nonsensical mess.

Dreaming Up an Idea with Pinkie Pie (AG's version)

Rainbow Dash woke up in the middle of the night in her bed. After recovering her senses, she got up, slowly walked to her desk and began writing. She got an awesome idea from a dream she had and wanted to write it down.

1. Watch the sunset with Applejack.

2. Get some apples and a honey pot. Sounds delicious.

3. Admit feelings.

4a. In case she feels the same, ilve happily ever after.

4b. In case she doesn't, get on with life.

It wasn't THAT good of a plan... but coming from a yellow, nerdy unicorn with shaggy black mane and a pencil for a cutie mark, not to mention a stupid face, it was pretty nice. Besides, she didn't have any better ideas. After heading for the kitchen to get a warm glass of milk, she went back to her bed, thinking about how awesome it would be if her plan worked. It would be the best day ever, and stuff.

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In the morning, Rainbow Dash went down to Ponyville, on a normal sunny day. On her way to the Sweet Apple Acres, she saw Pinkie Pie bouncing along the path. Pinkie instantly saw her in the sky and started following her.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash! Wait up!", said Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash decided not to waste time and descended.

"Hi, Pinkie Pie.", said Rainbow Dash. "Where are you going?"

"I'm on my way to invite Applejack to a special event... oh, that reminds me. Here's your invitation."

Pinkie Pie took an invitation from her basket and gave it to Rainbow Dash.

"Thanks.", said Rainbow Dash. "Oh! While you're at the Sweet Apple Acres, could you take this to Applejack?"

Rainbow Dash took out a letter and gave it to Pinkie Pie.

"Alright.", said Pinkie Pie. "What's the occasion?"

"It's a secret... but if all goes according to plan, you'll be able to throw a big party at the Sugarcube--"

"Really?! What is it? What is it? It must be something really important, isn't it? I promise I won't tell anyone!"

"You'll know really soon. I don't wanna say anything."

"... okie-dokie-lokie. If you're not telling it, I'm not forcing you. Have a nice day!"

"You too."

Both ponies went on their separate ways. That would be the best night ever, for sure.

A Honey Happy Ending (AG's version)

Carrying a bucket of apples and a jar of honey, Rainbow Dash went to the Sweet Apple Acres to start the execution of her plan. She owed a favor to that stupid-looking unicorn in her dreams. Arriving at her destination, she saw Applejack finishing work for the day.

"Howdy, Rainbow.", said Applejack. "I'm almost done for the day."

Rainbow Dash was in some kind of trance when she saw Applejack. She couldn't stop looking at her. You know when you're in love with someone, and you act like a complete retard every time you're near the person you like? She felt exactly like that. When she snapped back to reality, she was already laid down on a pile of hay, with Applejack by her side, watching the sunset.

"Hey, Applejack.", said Rainbow Dash, while taking out the honey jar and the bucket of apples. "I thought we could have some honey and apples while watching the sunset."

"Sure.", said Applejack. "Pretty sweet of ya, Rainbow, to go outta yer way to get some honey fer this."

Rainbow Dash blushed a little, while the two ponies took an apple and dunked it in the honey jar. It tasted rather delicious.

Rainbow decided to admit her feelings after quite a few minutes, so she wouldn't miss the opportunity.

"Applejack?", said Rainbow Dash, with a nervous tone in her voice.

"Yeah, sugarcube?", said Applejack, puzzled at Rainbow Dash's nervousness. Her wings were all stretched up as well.

"There's something I've been wanting to tell you."

"What's that?"

"... I... like... really love you, or something."

Applejack remained silent for a while, before blushing a little too.

"Actually, I kind of love you too.", said Applejack.

"Really?!"

Applejack nodded, and kissed Rainbow Dash on the lips. They stayed like that for what felt like forever.

By the way, I'm experiencing some short circuits in my keyboard right now, since they're soaked with tears as I'm writing this. I better stop for now, before I end up flooding the house.

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Okay, just dried the keyboard off. Time to write the final paragraph.

A few hours later, Twilight and Pinkie Pie went to the Sweet Apple Acres to ask to RSVP (???) to the party they planned, and froze in place when they arrived at the barn. They let out a quiet "d'aww" at the sight of Rainbow Dash and Applejack sleeping and cuddling under the barn, and decided to come back tomorrow.

And they lived happily ever after.

The end.