All's Fair In Love and War 2: Changeling Tides
Chapter 11: Chapter 11: Canterlot Nobility
Previous Chapter Next ChapterThe Next Day
Anon groaned as he sat in his day court throne, the sun shining brightly in through the open windows. Beside him, Twilight observed the gathering of ponies with much the same look of unease that Anon wore. They briefly shared a look before looking down at the literal hundreds of ponies in court.
There were a few faces Anon could recognize, namely a few of the nobles he disliked, but also some of the more common class of pony, leading a deep frown to adorn his brow. He idly considered if they were all here for the same reason until Raven stepped up to his side, her magic holding her clipboard and quill as usual as she wore a professional look on her face. She glanced down to her papers, before looking up to Anon and nodding.
"They're all here for the same reason." She announced, seemingly reading Anon's mind.
Anon rubbed the sleepiness from his eyes and let out a short sigh of resignation, "Let me guess. Changlings?"
Raven nodded once more, "That does seem to be the only reason listed." She acknowledged.
"Well... maybe there's a chance that they're not all upset about it?" Twilight offered.
"TS, get real. They're pissed. They're pissed and we're about to be their punching bags." Anon rolled his eyes.
Twilight growled, "Will you stop calling me that?"
"Only when you grow up." Anon shot back.
Twilight fixed him with a scowl, "What is your problem today? Even for you, this attitude is a bit much."
Anon sagged in his seat, "I'm just tired... only got like, two hours of sleep." He admitted.
Twilight's scowl only deepened, "So did I! You think you're the only one that didn't get much sleep last night? If you're this grumpy, then why didn't you just sit this court session out? Princess Celestia even offered to handle day court today." She rebutted.
Anon slowly turned to the small purple alicorn, a deadpan look in hi eyes the entire time, "Because she's my wife. My very pregnant, and very overworked wife, you socially inept purple dork. Besides, I could ask you the same question."
"Hey, I'm not socially inept!" Twilight bristled.
"Well you sure as hell coulda fooled me." Anon scoffed.
Twilight's wings flared out ever so slightly, "You're not the brightest ray of sunshine, yourself." She rebutted.
"Remind me, when do you go back to Ponyville again?" Anon asked.
"Monday next week. Wh-" Twilight began.
"Not soon enough." Anon cut her off.
Twilight scrunched up her muzzle, her ears splaying back against her head as she glared at Anon. After several tense seconds, she huffed and turned away from him, her mane obscuring her face from his view. For a few moments, silence reigned over them, giving Anon time to relax back into his throne, only for Raven to come into his peripheral vision. The disappointed frown on her face and shake of her head conveyed her disapproval clearly, making Anon roll his eyes.
Anon glanced back over to Twilight, finding that while she was now looking straight ahead at the crowd, there was a sullen look in her eyes, and a noticeable sag in her withers. Her ears were still pinned back against her skull, making Anon frown. He gazed at the clearly upset alicorn for almost a minute before letting out a long groan that turned into an explosive sigh.
"Look, Twilight... I'm sorry. That was mean of me. I've just got a lot on my mind right now and after last night... dealing with a bunch of ponies screaming at us about stuff they don't understand just doesn't seem very fun to me right now... Still, I shouldn't have taken that out on you. Again, I'm sorry." Anon admitted, a defeated tone in his voice.
Twilight's ear perked up at his voice, and she slowly looked over to him, finding that for once, he wasn't being sarcastic or joking with her. A grateful look quickly appeared on her face, and she seemed to visibly perk up at the apology.
"I... thank you, Anon." She gave a small smile.
Anon returned the gesture with a half-smile of his own, "Don't mention it."
Twilight nodded, "If you don't mind my asking... what has got you so worked up? We accounted for every single changeling last night and there were no real hiccups aside from a few misunderstandings that we quickly rectified." She questioned.
Anon reclined in his throne until he was looking straight up at the ceiling, "Like I said, two hours of sleep is honestly worse than no sleep at all... mostly because I only actually slept for about thirty minutes of it. Chrysalis kinda dropped a bombshell on me and I've been mulling it over ever since." He explained.
"What kind of bombshell?" Twilight asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Well, apparently Dusk and Echo killed almost sixty changelings during the invasion and they're all terrified of those two now... and Chrysalis probably hates them with a burning passion. So, that makes the fact that I've asked them all out to go drinking with me this weekend kinda... awkward." Anon elaborated.
Twilight frowned, "Seriously? You're worried about how it might affect your drinking?"
Anon rolled his eyes, "Not the drinking, you dork. The vibe is gonna be tense as hell if Chrysalis wants to murder Dusk and Echo the whole time. I don't think she'd actually try anything, but I don't want it to be tense and awkward the whole time. It's supposed to be fun." He replied.
"Why don't you just uninvite Chrysalis then? It doesn't really even make sense for her to go with you in the first place. She's just going to draw a lot of negative attention anywhere she goes." Twilight suggested.
Anon quickly shook his head, "No. Chrysalis needs to come. Getting her out on the town and exposing her to ponies is basically half the reason I'm doing this. I want her to actually integrate, not just be an other, you know? Make sure she's actually becoming a part of Equestria instead of just a changeling in Equestria." He rebutted.
Twilight slowly nodded her head, "I... see. I'll be honest, I didn't really expect something that well thought out from you, Anon."
Anon flipped her off, a gesture that went right over the little alicorn's head.
"Regardless, day court is about to start," Anon stated, before turning to Raven, "Alright, I'm mentally prepared. Let's get this shitshow on the road."
Raven nodded and looked over to Captain Valorant, "Captain? We're ready to start." She announced.
Valorant gave a curt nod before turning to address the crowd, "Day court is now in session. The first petitioner may step forward," She announced, before looking to the list in her magical aura, "Lyrica Lilac, please step to the podium."
A light purple coated mare with a lemon-yellow mane and tail stepped forward. She wore a cream colored sash across her chest with a red rose embedded into the fabric, just below a pearl necklace around her neck. Three phoenix feathers jutted out from a ribbon tied to her mane and bounced with each step as she approached the podium. The closer she got, the more and more obvious it became to Anon that her mane was a wig, and he barely stifled a groan as she reached her destination.
Summoning every ounce of his admittedly light training, Anon put on a neutral face and looked down at the obvious noble, "Good morning, Lyrica. What seems to be the problem?" He greeted, his tone just managing to stay mild.
"The problem, your highness, is the changeling invasion you all brought straight to our doorstep!" Lyrica declared, thrusting an accusatory hoof at Anon.
Anon rolled his eyes while the crowd of nobles erupted into a cacophony of shouting.
"We want them gone!" A stallion snarled.
"You said you were only bringing small groups at a time! Not the entire hive!" A particularly fat stallion exclaimed.
"Canterlot is for ponies! Not bugs!" A mare added.
"How can you just feed us to them like this!? I saw that pink mist last night! I know what that means!" Another stallion demanded.
On and on the crowd went, demanding answers or action. Their voices echoed off the walls, making Anon's already bad mood deteriorate even further. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes as he waited for the crowd to quiet down. It quickly became apparent, however, that they had no intention of doing so, and with a resigned sigh, he looked over to Valorant, finding her already giving him an expectant look.
"Go ahead, do your thing." He acknowledged, his voice drowned out by the shouting.
Valorant easily read his lips, and didn't need to be told twice. She quickly cast several spells to enhance her voice and looked to the crowd, "NOW HEAR THIS! WE WILL NOT TOLERATE ANYMORE SHOUTING OR ROWDY BEHAVIOR IN THIS COURT!! YOU WILL ALL BE SILENT UNTIL IT IS YOUR TURN TO SPEAK, OR YOU WILL ALL BE REMOVED!!!" She shouted.
The dozens of ponies before the Captain all clasped their hooves over their ears and squeezed their eyes shut as her powerful voice deafened them. When her verbal onslaught finished, the hall was filled with deathly silence. Not even the rowdiest of the ponies present dared to utter a syllable of protest, lest the face the wrath of the unicorn guard once more.
"Thanks, Val." Anon gratefully announced, unplugging his ears.
"Happy to do it, sir." Valorant replied with a wink.
Twilight plucked her feathers from her ears and shook her head to clear the ringing sensation still present, "Um, next time could you warn me before you cast like... thirty voicebox spells? I would prefer to keep my hearing in the long term." She politely requested.
"Of course, Princess. My apologies." Valorant humbly bowed.
Twilight gave a grateful nod before turning to the pony that started the near riot, "Lyrica Lilac, while we both certainly understand your, and the rest of Canterlot's fears, we both believe them to be unfounded. We've gone to great lengths to ensure the motivations of the changelings and their queen were genuine and innocent. We've strived to do everything in our power to ensure that they cannot hurt anypony in any way, and as Princess Celestia already explained, they aren't feeding off of you. They're feeding off of the ambient love in the air in Canterlot. Absolutely nothing is being taken from you, I promise you that." She explained, noting the pensive look in Lyrica's violet eyes.
"But... surely you can't trust what they say! They're changelings, for Faust's sake! All they do is lie and steal! How can we possibly trust them not to abduct and replace ponies at will!?" Lyrica shot back, finding her strength and ire returning with each passing second.
Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but Anon beat her to the punch, "Firstly, every single changeling has a mana ring in place. Literally none of them can change or use magic. Secondly, if you'd seen how close they all are to starving to death, you wouldn't be so worried about them trying anything. And thirdly, we've used magic to force Chrysalis to tell us the truth about what she was planning to do here. She genuinely only wants to save her hive, and the best way to do that is to work with Equestria, not against it." He answered, firmly.
Lyrica pursed her lips and dipped her head in thought for a moment, apparently taking in Anon's rebuttal with serious consideration. She quickly shook her head and looked up to the man and alicorn, a frown on her muzzle.
"But what of the rest of her hive? Just because she was telling the truth, doesn't mean that her entire hive will share in that sentiment. For all you know, Chrysalis could have had her hive scheme and keep her in the dark just in case you did interrogate her. Did you interrogate every single one of them? We can't trust them! They have to go!" She bitterly asserted, turning her muzzle up.
Several murmurs of agreement swept through the crowd, making Anon groan, "Do you really think Chrysalis would surrender to us, not knowing what her hive's plan was just in case we somehow managed to know if she was lying?" He deadpanned.
That response took the wind out of Lyrica's sails quite quickly, and she once again dipped her head in thought. The rest of the ponies in the crowd shared similar reactions, their heads all indiscreetly dipping as they failed to think of an adequate response to Anon's counter.
"I know you all have reservations about the changelings. Hell, I still do too... but don't you think that everyone deserves a second chance? Have any of you even seen any of them up close before? Or were you too busy hiding in your private mansions?" Anon questioned, earning several indignant stares and aghast expressions.
"I-I... that's is not true! I've been out and about in Canterlot!" Lyrica defensively responded.
Anon facepalmed, "I didn't mean literally... Jesus. Look, all we're all asking for is that you give them a chance. So far, they've given us no reason not to trust them since Chrysalis surrendered. For all you know, you might actually grow to like them. Their foals are kinda adorable." He offered.
Lyrica made no effort to hide her disgust at the mere mention of the changeling grubs, which only made Anon frown harder at the noble, "Prince Anon... surely you can't honestly want us to mingle with the changelings? They'd abduct and replace us in a heartbeat!" She protested.
"It'd honestly be an improvement if they did." Anon muttered under his breath.
Twilight worriedly glanced over to Anon, then back to Lyrica, "Miss Lyrica, surely you don't mean to insinuate that mingling with other creatures is beneath you, do you?"
Lyrica turned her muzzle up once more, "Of course not, Princess... but I'm surprised by your position on this considering the fact that you were one of the ponies that had to save us all from the very creatures we're discussing right now." She replied.
Twilight scrunched her muzzle, "As we've already said, while the changelings were our enemies in the past, they've surrendered. They're no longer our enemies, and we've already ensured their motives are genuine and benevolent. Beyond that, we've gone out of our way to ensure the safety of Canterlot and its citizens just in case the changelings do try something. Having said that, what you're displaying to the court here today, is pure prejudice. It's understandable - natural, even... but we cannot condemn an entire race to death because of fear. We have to be better than our worst instincts." She responded.
Twilight's speech put an end to anything else Lyrica had to say. Her muzzle opened and closed a few times as she desperately tried to find a response, but alas, she came up empty, and with a resigned sigh, she turned and left the podium. Most of the Canterlot elite followed suite with similar reactions, leaving the room nearly completely empty within a matter of minutes.
As the ponies exited the doorway, Anon turned to Twilight with a look of surprise on his face, "Well shit, that was a pretty good speech." He complimented.
Twilight blushed, "Thanks, Anon. I'm glad it actually worked that time, hehe." She sheepishly chuckled.
"You know that didn't actually change any of their minds though, right?" Anon asked, raising an eyebrow.
Twilight shrugged, "Well, I'd like to hope that it did. You can't force ponies to get over their fears, but you can point them in the right direction and hope they make the right choice." She offered.
"Personally, I think at least some of them are considering their feelings on changelings at the moment. They might not change their minds overnight, but they might be headed in the right direction, thanks to you." Raven chimed in, nodding toward Twilight.
"Thank you, Raven. Here's hoping." Twilight smiled, before turning back to the court.
Unsurprisingly, nearly every pony was gone, save for exactly two. Both ponies were snow white unicorns, one mare and one stallion. The stallion wore a monocle on his left eye, just below his well combed cobalt mane and just above his well trimmed mustache. He wore a perfectly tailored suit that complimented his muscular physique and posture. Beside him, stood a surprisingly lithe and tall mare with a deep pink mane that bore two curly white streaks. Her deep purple eyes looked up to the throne with a clear look of trepidation. Twilight and Anon both squinted at the pair of unicorns standing before them for a moment, before recognition lit up in Anon's eyes.
"Fancy Pants! Yo! What up dude!?" Anon exclaimed, hopping out of his throne and quickly jogging over toward the stallion, much to everyone, especially Twilight's confusion.
"Ah, Anon, old chap. How are you this fine morning?" Fancy asked, happily trotting over to Anon to meet him half way.
"Living the dream, can't you tell?" Anon chuckled.
Anon and Fancy quickly met and exchanged a hoof bump before Anon looked past the stallion to the mare now closing in on him.
"Fleur de Lis, looking gorgeous as ever. How's business?" Anon smiled, giving a small nod.
"Why thank yew, Prince Anon. Business is, how do you say, 'booming'." Fleur replied, her Prench accent reverberating through the air like a birdsong on a gentle spring morning.
"That's good. Glad to hear it. What brings you two up here? Well, I mean it's like a thirty second walk for you, but you know what I mean." Anon asked.
Fancy sucked air in between his teeth, "I suppose you didn't read our names on the list then, did you, old chap?" He replied.
Anon shook his head before turning around and looking up to Raven, finding her scanning through her list.
"They're with everypony else, Anon." Raven announced, after a moment.
Anon frowned before looking back down to the two unicorns before him, "You guys aren't seriously with the rest of the nobles on this, are you?" He questioned, a sad undertone in his voice.
Fancy and Fleur shared a look before looking back to Anon, "Well, as much as I can't stand 'er, Lyrica makes a good point, mon ami. At least, that's 'ow we saw it until 'earing your logic this morning." Fleur responded, with a gentle nod.
Anon's eyes widened slightly before Fancy spoke up, "Indeed. We, unfortunately share in much the same concerns that Lyrica brought up. Having said that, the speech Princess Twilight gave has certainly given us some things to think about on the matter." He explained.
Twilight smiled as she walked down the throne steps to the group in front of her, "I'm so relieved to hear that, Fancy Pants. Does that mean you'll be willing to give the changelings a chance?" She optimistically asked.
Fancy pursed his lips, giving Fleur all the time she needed to speak up, "While, we 'av reason to trust yew and Prince Anon... we can't say the same for the changelings, Princess." She replied, with a slight bow of her head.
Anon and Twilight both sighed, "I figured you were gonna say something like that." Anon muttered.
"Well, that's also partly why we're still here." Fancy offered, making Anon raise an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"Well, after hearing everything you and Princess Twilight have had to say on the matter, I do think that it's worth giving the changelings a chance. We still don't trust them, not by a long shot... but I also don't think you would save us from the changelings barely a year ago, just to serve us all up on a silver platter." Fancy replied with a smirk.
Anon instantly grinned, "Attaboy, Fancy!" He happily exclaimed, wrapping and arm around the stallion and pulling him into a one-armed hug.
Fleur giggled at the pair of males while Twilight fixed Anon and Fancy with a lopsided look of confusion, "Anon, since when did you get so chummy with Fancy Pants?" She questioned.
Anon glanced back to the small purple alicorn, "Well ever since Jav introduced me to him a couple months ago. Fancy was one of the only noble stallions that didn't try to jump us at the bar way back." He explained.
Twilight's look of confusion only increased, "Wait, how does Sergeant Javelin know Fancy Pants?" She asked.
"He's my cousin," Fancy answered, "Certainly not one to take up the family business, but the resemblance is still there." He chuckled.
Twilight's face morphed into one of recognition, "Ah, you know what, I do see the resemblance." She nodded.
"Yeah, Jav dragged me along to one of Fancy's parties before you showed up in Canterlot as a princess and we hit it off. Who'd of thought that this dude is into lifting and skydiving." Anon grinned.
"Don't forget buckball. I'm very proud of my college days. I could've gone pro." Fancy chuckled.
"Wow. Why didn't you?" Twilight replied.
"Family business, Princess. Stallions are expected to play their part, and I was no exception." Fancy answered.
Anon shook his head, "Not Jav though."
Fancy smirked, "That stallion always was a janefilly. His parents tried to get me to convince him to abandon his aspirations in the royal guard and trade stocks... of course, you can imagine how that conversation would have gone. Speaking of, where is he? I was sure he was on shift today..." He trailed off, looking back and forth at the many guards still standing at their posts in the throne room.
"Javelin has today off, Fancy. Anon gave him the day off since they were all up until six in the morning." Raven replied, scribbling some more notes down with her quill.
"Ah, Raven! That's completely understandable... I'm terribly sorry, I'd almost forgotten you were there. I've been meaning to congratulate you on the upcoming wedding. I understand you've been planning it all yourself?" Fancy responded, an excited look forming on his face once more.
Raven set down her quill and notepad, "Thank you, Fancy. It's been quite a hassle, but I have been putting it together myself. Javelin keeps offering to help but you know him. He's not really the type when it comes to planning parties. He honestly wanted gardenia's over sunflowers for the spread. Gardenia's! For a summer wedding!" She exclaimed, facehoofing.
Fancy laughed, "Ah, that's Javelin for you. Ask him to put a spear through a wreath at a hundred hooves and he can do it twice, but ask him what colors go with which and he's lost. I'm glad he has you to handle things then. I'm very excited for the big day."
Raven gratefully nodded, "Thank you, Fancy. As difficult as planning has been, I'd be lying if I said I won't be squealing like a schoolfilly on the day." She beamed.
Anon quickly leaned down to Fancy and whispered into his ear, "That's not the only reason she'll be squealing that day."
Fancy and Anon both snickered before bursting out into a chorus of laughter. All three mares around them immediately frowned at Anon's obviously crass joke before Raven rolled her eyes.
"One day... Just one day without his toilet humor. That's all I ask." She muttered.
As Anon and Fancy slowly calmed down, Fleur looked over to Raven, "Raven, I do recall you saying that you all 'ad been up all night 'an only went to bed at six... Might I ask why that is?" She questioned, just loud enough to be heard over Anon and Fancy.
Raven tilted her head to the side, "You mean you don't know? I thought everypony in Canterlot saw or heard by now."
Fleur shook her head, "We only 'eard that the changelings were coming and everypony at day court wanted to give their opinion. We only arrived just before Lyrica left." She replied.
Raven bit her lip as Twilight stepped over toward the supermodel, "The changelings were moved into Canterlot last night. They're already here." She explained.
Fleur's mouth formed a small "o" shape as she blinked the surprise out of her eyes. Even Fancy calmed down enough from his laughter to hear Twilight's response and fixed her with a shocked expression.
"They're... already here?" He asked.
Anon nodded, "They are. They've been really well behaved, all things considered." He acknowledged.
"Well I suppose that does explain the pink mist that stallion mentioned earlier." Fancy tsked.
"Listen, you trust us, right?" Anon asked, looking to both unicorn nobles.
Both Fancy and Fleur nodded, prompting a relieved smile to form on Anon's face, "Then trust us enough to not screw this up. I promise, we won't let the changelings do anything to hurt you guys."
Fancy and Fleur gave hesitant, almost unsure nods, "I... suppose you're right, old chap. We'll trust you on this."
"Thank you. You won't regret it." Twilight added, a relieved smile on her face as well.
Fancy nodded before turning to leave, "Right, well I suppose our fears were unfounded. I think we've taken quite enough of the fair prince and princess's time, don't you dear?" He asked, looking to Fleur.
"Oui, mon amour." She nodded, turning to leave as well.
Before the couple could take more than a step toward the exit, Anon gasped, "Wait! Fancy!" He exclaimed, startling everypony around him.
"Hmm?" Fancy questioned, turning around to the tall man.
"You doing anything this weekend?"