“Tia, can I have a word please?”

It's said with a certain hushed reverence, the kind employed when guests are over and you'd rather not air dirty laundry publicly. She's used to using it, albeit more during the work day than in those scant free hours gained in the glorious evening. A soft click of the living room door is all the chequered flag needed, however.

“Yes, sister?"

There's a pause as she considers how to word it. History has taught her well, too hard and Celestia will force her heels in, too soft and she'll be ignored. Blunt honesty it was then.

“You're taking your taste in men to all new, all bizarre, levels Tia!”

Lavender eyes roll, “So what? I like a guy on the short side with a bit of body hair, there's nothing wrong with that miss 'brooding bad boy'.

“He's a rat, Celestia.”

A theatrical gasp tells Luna all that she needs, her sister was going to milk this entire argument bone dry.

“I'll have you know Luna Selene Invictus,” a barrage of aggressive finger pokes assail her chest, “Hamato Yoshi is a wonderful man! Sure he's a bit of a goofball, and has a few...awkward traits, but what man's perfect? Especially one so diligently raising four sons.”

“I meant that he's a quite literal, five foot nothing, furry, grey, pink-tailed, anthropomorphic rodent Tia.”

“Oh.”

The silence lasts mere seconds but feels as if it bridges an eternity. Whole civilisations rise and fall during this silence. Galaxies blaze into life, only to surrender to the darkness of entropy within its confines.

“Well, that's just a health condition Luna, honestly I don't know how you can be so cruel considering our own brother-”

Rage flares into life, only to be smothered with a deep sigh, “Can we not bring Cosmos up, please?”

“Yes, well.” an awkward cough covers the faux pas “Yoshi is a perfectly normal man, health issues aside. He cooks, he cleans, he dances a mean cha-cha-"

“Don't you know it baby!” a thickly accented voice answers through the door.

“Oh. My God.” she groans, desperately wishing one of Sunset's fantastical adventures could sweep around and take her anywhere but here. Did her horse counterpart suffer from this? There'd been something about her being 'banished to the moon' if Twilight (not their Twilight but 'magical sparkly horse princess Twilight') was correct. That sounded pretty sweet right now.

“Look,” her sister begins, idly playing with those famous multi-hued tresses of hers, ”If I give you twenty bucks can we have a few hours alone? I know it's all a bit unusual, but I like him, Luna! He's fun, he makes me laugh and well...he makes me feel normal.”

She goes to retort, but visions of the bi-monthly magical disasters force her mouth closed. She still had paperwork to deal with regarding the sentient pizza monster in the cafeteria on her desk. When did things get so out of hand again?

Her sigh of defeat is the only honest answer she can give Celestia.

“Sure, just stay safe ok?”

A crash signifies her sister's paramour, the short, tubby, rodent somehow having crawled through the vents and across the ceiling, only to fail at the last minute. His broken form nestled neatly between to the two, a crooked smile on that not-quite-rat-yet-not-quite-man face.

“Do not worry Blue Celestia” he warbles, a spindly thumbs up in her general direction, “Hamato Yoshi is a man of honour, style, and taste.”

The hideously dated spandex jumpsuit killed the last two, so she'd just have to take his word when it came to 'honour'. A warning never hurt though in her experience.

Glaring , she engaged in what her students called ''the nightmare face'. "If anything happens to my sister Yoshi, I'll hunt you down and send you to a place so bad you'll wish you were in hell."

Equestria had dungeons right? Sure, the technicolour population and infrequent musical numbers weren't exactly menacing, but they had to have some form of punishment, they couldn't be that sweet, surely?

"Duly noted Blue Celestia."

Why yes, Celestia is indeed dating Master Splinter of Teenage Ninja Turtles fame, specifically the 'Rise' version, whom is much more...human? Flawed perhaps may be the better term. He's a lazy oddball, with a surprisingly tragic past and stands out very much compared to his other counterparts (all of whom just tend to be rather bland wisdom machines), he's still a decent father and ninja sensei of course.

Cosmos is the unused villain of the MLP movie, the twins long-lost brother. He's rather mangled, missing several limbs and with a distinctively evil design around him. I love the idea of him being in EQG.