The Dark Lord was coming. Havoc could feel it, as a chill in his bones, a weight in his heart and fear in his groin. He looked from side to side nervously, hoping that The Dark Lord would turn its malign gaze to someone else and spare him.Then he heard the hoofsteps behind him. He found himself breathing in short gasps as he slowly turned around to find who or what had approached him.

“H-hey, Pinkie,” he stammered. “W-what’s with your face?”

Her neck cracked as her head turned back to her normal position, while her eyes turned from blue to red.

Havoc screamed, and then he woke up.

“Wow, that was a weird nightmare,” he said, and he turned right to face Pinkie, but she wasn’t sleeping under her blanket.

He heard giggling on his left, so he turned to see what was going on.

Havoc screamed a second time as the Pinkie-like abomination approached him, only for a dark blue barrier to protect him from it.

“Begone, nightmare!” boomed a feminine voice, and the creature dissolved into nothingness.

Havoc found himself in a exact copy of the ruins he was sleeping in. He had realized he was dreaming the very moment he heard the voice. In front of him was Princess Luna herself.

“Are you real?” he asked.

“Yes. I am the Princess of the Night, it is my duty to come into the dreams of ponies when they need me.”

“That was my headcanon!” he happily replied.

“Oh, for my sister’s sake, you are one of those humans,” she groaned. “Well, I guess this makes everything easier.”

“Why did I say that? I have been careful not to reveal that I am a human to anypony,” Havoc said, frowning.

“You are in the Realm of Dreams, where your subconscious mind rules while your conscious mind rests. You will find that behaving as you would while being awake and not voicing your thoughts is hard. Now, I must ask: how did you manage to stay awake for a whole month? I am impressed.”

“I was turned to stone by that bitch Screwball. Shit, sorry for the language. I just broke free yesterday, and this is the first time I sleep since then. I wonder how your mane tastes like. Damn, sorry! I didn’t-”

Luna covered his mouth with her hoof and nodded. “That explains it. Now, Havoc, I haven’t come into your dreams to defeat nightmares and ask about your sleeping patterns. I am here to discuss your situation without interruptions. Let’s begin with what we know about you: you are a draconequus minor, you have killed ponies, and you have helped other ponies.
The first thing means that you have been sent here by a draconequus. Because of this, you are an unwilling spy and weapon for your master, and we can’t allow you to live in Equestria unsupervised.
Now, killing ponies. Killing is one of the most terrible crimes. However, only my sister, me or a small army would be able to weaken you enough to contain you, and the collateral damage would be terrible. We could use the Elements of Harmony against you, but you will surely die if you are exposed to such a pure form of Harmony. Because of this, and because you showed that you are capable of good by helping in the Crystal Empire, we have decided not to actively seek you. But know this: if you ever damage our subjects again, we will find you and punish you for your crimes.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. Leave Equestria, and we will ‘forget’ about you. Stay, and we will hunt you down if you ever harm another pony.”

“Uh... Well... Okay... Can I ask you a few questions?”

“You can.”

“First, do you know about this Mirror Pool in the Everfree Forest? The ones that makes clones?”

“What about it?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Are the clones real people? I mean, do they have souls or whatever differentiates a pony of, say, a flower?”

“You seek a simple answer for a difficult question, but I think I can answer it in laypony’s terms. The Mirror Pool creates husks without souls of whoever gazes it. However, these husks will fill themselves given enough time, creating new individuals that look just like their creator from the outside, but can be drastically different inside. When this happens, they also ‘grow’ souls, just like any other living being.”

“Well, that means that Zecora was kind of wrong and Twilight is not a mass murderer. Someone should tell her...”

“I think you should tell me the whole story,” Luna said, after raising an eyebrow when she heard the words ‘mass murderer’.

And so he did. He told Princess Luna how he broke free, and everything that happened after that.

“Interesting,” she said. “We must investigate this matter. While the clones were too young to have become rational beings, we suspect Twilight didn’t know that. ‘Getting rid’ of fake ponies because they are annoying could devolve into declaring war because the other races are dangerous.”

“Declaring war? It’s not like she has the power to do that, does she?”

“No, of course she doesn’t,” Luna quickly replied. “Oh my, look at the time. You have to wake up now. I’m afraid that you won’t be able to ask more questions. Remember my words, and know that we are not your enemies, unless you force us to,” as soon as she finished talking, she vanished in a flash of light.

Havoc heard gibberish behind a few moments after the princess left. He turned around only to be knocked down by something. Said something climbed to his chest, and then Havoc could see it.

He tried to escape, but his body was paralyzed. NONONONONONONO. The pink monster hissed as its mouth close around Havoc’s neck.

And then he woke up again. He quickly looked for Pinkie, and found her sleeping under the blanket he had created. Scared, he floated above her to check that her face was normal.

Havoc breathed in relief, and then he went out to find some food for breakfast. When he was in Granite Back, he had learned that the diamond dogs fed the ponies with grass when they lacked any other food. Ponies can eat grass, just like humans can eat raw meat, but most of them aren’t used to it and it can make them sick. Apparently, it also tastes bad. Therefore, Havoc went out to find some fruits and flowers. Pinkie Pie with diarrhea was something he would rather avoid. I’m sure she would start singing about it...

When you're sitting on your tush
And you have to give a push...
When you're running down the road
And you can't control your load... Diarrhea!!

Damn, now I want to listen to her singing that. It must be hilarious...

He stopped thinking about that and began brooding over Luna’s words. The message was clear: he had to leave or stay hidden. Leaving with Pinkie was not an option, so he would have to find a place where she could leave alone, or live with her while hiding his true form. Do I really want to live with this Pinkie Pie? She seems to think like a child, I doubt she would be able to survive if I abandon her. But who would take care of her until she becomes an adult in mind? There’s no one I know who would do that. I must stay with her, it’s the right thing to do. He spent a few more minutes thinking of what to do with Pinkie until he found a pear tree near the ruins of the castle, so he decided to take a handful of them for both of them. It’s been ages since I last ate a pear, I can’t wait to eat these.

“Good morning, Pinkie!” he said when he noticed she was awake.

“Diane,” she coldly replied.

“Hm?”

“Call me Diane. I am not Pinkie Pie,” she explained, her tone a bit harsh.

Havoc nodded solemnly. “Alright, Diane. I found some pears, let’s have breakfast before going into the castle.”

Diane frowned. “Why are we here? I thought you would find a safe place for me.”

“I will, this is a small detour. Zecora said that we would find something here. She’s wise and I trust her, so that something must be important. After that, I have been thinking that we could travel from city to city until you find one you like.”

Diane stared at Havoc, thinking on what he had said. “Okie Dokie!” she exclaimed, her mood brightening again. That was weird.

Unlike the buildings that surrounded it, the castle was still mostly intact, even if vines had grown over most of its walls, and a few of the merlons had fallen to the ground. This made the castle look menacing to Havoc and Diane, as it stood among alone surrounded by ruins, like a monster surrounded by the bones of its preys. Its gate resembled the maw of a stone beast, that would crunch them as soon as they tried to cross it.

Diane and Havoc gulped at the same time, but they gathered enough valor to go inside. As they walked into the depths, following Havoc’s chaos sense, the corridor they were in grew darker, as it had no windows and the light sources were nowhere to be found.

“Diane,” Havoc said, trying to start a conversation to forget about how scary the castle was. “Did telling Pinkie’s memories help you make sense of them.”

“Yeah! Now they are all clear!” she said with joy. “I can’t wait to the next time I can tell you about them! I would tell them to myself, but then I wouldn’t have any stories to tell! Oh! Next time you tell a story first! The one you told last night was a bit childish but it was lots of fun and-”

Havoc tuned out her chattering, giving Diane just enough attention to have a general idea of what she was talking about. Havoc noticed that the chaos energy was no longer a vague feeling and it was now located somewhere below them. When they found a spiral staircase leading down it was too dark to use them without tripping, so Havoc knocked his own head and his eyes suddenly acted like flashlights, illuminating whatever he was looking at.

“Ooooh!” Diane exclaimed, the surprise snapping her out of her ‘endless chatter’ mode.

They walked down the stairs for so many minutes that when they reached the end they were both dizzy.

“I hate stairs...” muttered Havoc.

“Me too...” Diane replied, her face turning green.

They sat on the ground until they recovered, and then they continued. They stopped in front of a locked wooden door, the first one they had encountered yet. The door had a golden plaque with an inscription, which said: “Only those with the blessing of the Queen of the Night may go through me.”

“Hm... I guess we’ll have to go back and forget about it,” said Havoc.

“Why?” asked Diane.

“Because it’s locked, and we don’t have this blessing thing.”

“But, it’s just a small door!” Diane exclaimed. “You are big and strong, I’m sure you can break it in no time!”

“Breaking a locked door instead of opening it with its key or a lockpick?” asked Havoc, surprised. “Is that even possible?”

“Do it, faggot!”

“Well, if you say so... Wait, where did you learn that word?!” Havoc asked, and Diane shrugged.

“... Whatever.”

Havoc took a deep breath and punched the door with his ent arm. The one thousand years old wood exploded, showering the place in dust and sawdust.

“See? Silly Havoc, this is not a roleplaying game, there’s no such thing as unbreakable doors!”

“... And how do you know about roleplaying games?”

“Pinkie Pie has a party cutie mark, she knows all the games in existence. I have her memories, so I know all of them, too... Even though they are a big mess in my head right now.”

“Well, who would have thought that that knowledge would be helpful in real life? Good job, Diane. Let’s see what is in there.”

They walked over the remnants of the door into another corridor, which led them to the only room in the castle that had its own illumination, provided by magic gems located on the walls. The only feature in the room was a large stone altar, with a grid of square painted blocks that seemed to depict some kind of winged monster and that had an empty space so the rest could be moved to their proper positions.

[Author Note: the puzzle should work for everyone now, I think I just saved that site by telling them that their puzzles didn't work lol.]

“Hey, there’s a block missing! Oh! It’s a puzzle!” exclaimed Diane, and began to move the blocks.

“Wait, it could be a-” Havoc’s warning was interrupted by a loud noise of stones grinding. “Trap.”

The noise was caused by the walls on their sides, which slowly descended into the floor, revealing a large pile of bones behind both of them.

“Well, I guess keeping a group of whatevers waiting for intruders in two small rooms with no exits for a thousand years isn’t such a good idea,” Havoc commented, and then the bones began moving on their own. “Shit.”

The magically animated bones formed pony-like bodies with sharp scythe-like limbs on their backs.

“Diane, you better solve that puzzle fast. These guys don’t look like they want to party.”

“Give them party hats. Skeletons love party hats,” she said as she continued moving the blocks.

Havoc shrugged and snapped his fingers, making party hats appear with popping noises on the skeletons’ heads. They didn’t seem to notice the hats, as they continued walking towards Havoc and Diane without a second thought.

“It’s time to know if all those days spent killing zombies in Left for Dead 2 taught me anything,” Havoc said, as he summoned his dragonbone hammer.

Ten pony-like skeletons were already close to the altar, and more kept coming from the piles of bones. Havoc created a wall of vodka bottles around Diane and two dancing bears to protect her from any skeleton that tried to harm her. A skeleton jumped towards Havoc’s neck, but he brought his hammer down on it, crushing most of its bones. Five more skeletons attacked Havoc from behind before he could raise his weapon, so he raised his tail, his anus facing the skeletons, and sprayed them with draconequus guano. Havoc’s dung turned out to be highly explosive, and the explosion it caused was strong enough to disintegrate the skeletons. The next wave of skeletons were bigger, and had more sharp appendages. Six of them surrounded Havoc, so he aimed at the one in front of him with a finger, as if his hand was a gun.

“Pew!” he said, and his finger fired a bullet, blowing the skeleton’s head. The undead creature continued walking without its head, as if nothing had happened.

An skeleton managed to sneak on Havoc’s back and harm him with his sharp limbs. Havoc’s snake tail coiled around it and squeezed it until he heard the bones snapping. Then he aimed with his open hand at another skeleton, a beam of energy coming from his palm and obliterating the undead. The remaining undeads changed tactics, as they joined into a massive bone monster. The creature resembled a three meters tall centaur, if centaurs had four heads, four arms and six legs.

“Wow, it’s been awhile since I found someone my size. They are always giant or pony-sized.”

The monster opened its four mouths in a silent roar and charged against Havoc with uncanny speed. The skeleton’s lower arms pinned Havoc to the ground, while the upper ones tried to maul his head.

“Fuck you!” Havoc shouted, and then he breathed fire on the skeleton, which reared back as its body was burned.

Havoc got up and finished the centaur by hitting it with his hammer until it stopped moving.

“That’s what you get for-” he began, but he stopped when he heard Diane shout.

“Stay away, you meanie pants!” she said.

Havoc turned and found that two more centaurs, these ones made of purple bones, had defeated the dancing bears, who had turned into Matryoshka dolls upon death, and were about to break the walls of vodka bottles. He tried to push them away with telekinesis, but as soon as his magic touched them he felt cold and his spell failed. Cursing, he flew towards the closest one, tackling it. Breathing fire on it was ineffective, and it allowed the skeleton to maul Havoc’s chest with its arms. Growling, the draconequus improved his strength with magic to rip off the centaur’s arms and throw them away. Then he teleported to the other centaur’s back and crushed it’s chest bones with a bear hug.

“Are you done yet?!” he asked Diane.

“I need some more time!”

Havoc tried to heal the wounds on his chest, but found that the same magic that protected the skeletons from his spells was now also on his wounds. He cursed under his breath and turned to face the skeletons. What he found made his jaw drop. A colossal bone monster resembling a gorilla made of all the remaining bones was walking towards him. It was wielding two swords made of purple, magic resistant bones, and it was twice as tall as Havoc, so it almost touched the ceiling with its ten heads. The bone giant raised its left sword, and Havoc noticed that Diane was its target, so he blocked the blow with his hammer. The force of the attack was enough to force Havoc to kneel, leaving him open for a horizontal attack from the giant’s right sword. Grunting with effort, he turned his hammer just in time to meet the sword, but the impact tossed him into the air. Havoc changed to frog midair, becoming so light that the friction with the air slowed him enough to land safely. Then he turned back to his draconequus body and attacked the skeleton with ice spears, forcing it to block them with the swords and leave Diane alone. After that, he made a party blower appear in his hand and blowed it. This unleashed a sound wave that was strong enough to make the skeleton stagger. Some bones left the creature’s torso and formed an extra pair of legs, which allowed it to walk towards Havoc without stumbling. Havoc continued blowing until he emptied his lungs, and right after he stopped he jumped out of the monster’s trajectory, which crashed against the wall when the force that was pushing it disappeared. Havoc felt a cold grasp around his tail and found that the monster had grabbed it with a third arm that came from its belly before hitting the wall. The bone giant pulled with enough strength to make Havoc fall on his back, and then continued drawing the draconequus closer.

“Damn! Let go you double zigger!” Havoc shouted when he noticed that he couldn’t teleport while being grabbed by the monster.

The monster stopped pulling, apparently surprised by the insult, and spoke. “That is racist,” said a dull voice that came from the skeleton’s chest. “Racism won’t be tolerated in the domains of Nightmare Moon.”

The skeleton pulled again, and more skeleton hands came from its torso, pinning Havoc to the ground. Then it raised its swords, aiming at Havoc’s neck.

“Don’t do something you might regret later!” exclaimed Havoc, panicking as he tried to break free. Suddenly, the whole skeleton crumbled on him and the lights went off at the same time. “Eh... Does that mean you decided that killing me won’t solve anything?”

“I did it, weeee!” exclaimed Diane with enthusiasm.

No longer restrained by the skeleton’s magic, Havoc turned into rattlesnake and slithered out of the mountain of bones that had almost managed to kill him mere moments before.

“Woah!” exclaimed Diane when Havoc turned back to his original form and made his eyes emit light again. “You can turn into other things?”

“Oh, right, I haven’t told you about my powers,” Havoc said. “Yes, I can transform into many things. Good work with the puzzle, I couldn’t have solved it by myself with all those skeletons trying to kill me.”

Havoc looked at the paint of the now solved puzzle. The remaining block had somehow appeared when Diane solved it, and the creature depicted was some sort of bear-like monster with dragon wings and tail, four ram horns on its head and cloven hooves on its feet.

“He looks like a nice guy,” said Diane.

“If that was sarcasm it was too subtle for me.”

“No, really, I’m sure he looks rough and mean on the outside but is really caring and kind on the inside.”

Havoc walked towards the passage that had been revealed when Diane solved the puzzle. “Are you sure you aren’t talking about me?”

“Nah, you are not like that. You are more like mean and crazy, but good deep inside.”

“... I don’t get it.”

“Me neither, but that’s how it is.”

“So you think I’m mean? What have I-”

As soon as Havoc stepped on the stone floor, he felt a terrible weakness take over his body and the light coming from his eyes disappeared.

“What is this...,” he struggled to say. “I feel so weak... I can’t even do magic...”

“Are you sure? I feel fine.”

“I can feel something wrong with the walls. They are somehow suppressing my chaos magic.”

“What does that mean?”

“I... can’t... magic,” Havoc mumbled.

“Hey, you are smaller now! You look cute!”

Havoc turned to face Diane, and found that, being on all fours, he was eye to eye with her. This is bad, we are vulnerable if I can’t fight... We should go back, but I have a feeling that we have to cross this corridor. Hm... Disharmony told me to trust my instincts, right? They continued walking blindly through the corridor, and soon Havoc felt so weak that he had to rest his arms and torso on Diane’s back. This put them in a very compromising position, but luckily for them he had not the tools of the trade and she was too naive to think what anyone would have thought if they found Havoc and Diane in such position.

“You are heavy,” Diane commented. “Have you ever considered losing some weight?”

“I’m not fat... Damn it!”

Diane rolled her eyes. “Hey, I can see a light!”

By the time the light took the shape of a doorframe in the distance, Havoc had become so small that his eye level when he was standing on his two legs was below Diane’s. He had climbed to her back when he felt that his legs lost contact with the ground, and was now hugging her and trying not to fall with the little strength he still had.

“Are you sure you are fine?” asked Diane. “I already suspected you wouldn’t grow to any lengths to help people, but this is just ridiculous!”

“Yes, I’m fine... This is annoying but not dangerous...” he whispered into her ear, too weak to be louder. ”That pun was awful.”

“Well, I would tell you the pun about the big dragon who ate the little dragon, but you wouldn’t taller ate it.”

“Goddamit, Diane.”

“Complaint all you want. You can’t sue me, there’s a stature of limitations!”

“Those are kind of mean, you know?” he said, trying to sound disappointed but laughing at them.

“I know, but you are the only one who’s listening and you don’t care so I can finally say them! Pinkie has never been able to say mean jokes or puns because she knows ponies don’t like them, so now I feel her desire to share them with someone that will laugh at them. Like this: Seven dwarves walk into a brothel. The madam says, "Good evening, gentlemen." They all reply, "Hi, ho."”

Havoc laughed, more at the fact that she was saying such things with Pinkie’s voice than to the joke itself, and that only served to encourage her. And so, Diane told Havoc jokes - about medical conditions, racism, sex, tragedies, and many more topics - that, if they were ever told on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, they would make the soccer moms burn Hasbro and everything pony-related. He laughed so hard he fell from her back twice before they reached the end of the corridor. When they crossed the doorframe, Havoc went from being smaller than a bunny to his original half a ton self, while still being on Diane’s back. Luckily for her, he also recovered his magic at the same time and floated like a balloon filled with helium instead of crushing her.

None of them noticed this, though, as the huge creature that was studying them from the other side of the room had their attention. The monster was the same from the puzzle of the previous room, but it looked much more menacing now that it was real and in the same room as them. The creature was twice as tall as Havoc, who was 3 meters tall himself, and his sharp teeth and claws screamed “DANGEROUS” at them.

“Using a pony to cross the harmony corridor? That’s really clever,” the creature said, talking with a weird accent.

“What- I mean... Who are you?” asked Havoc.

“I am Turmoil,” he said. “And you two are?”

“Havoc.”

“Diane! What are you doing here all alone mister Turmoil?”

“Wait, your master named you Havoc? Really?”

“Eh... Yes, is that bad?”

"Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war,” he shouted, and then he laughed.

“So, I understand that you are also a draconequus minor,” Havoc said. “Why are you so... Symmetrical?”

“What, don’t you know that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Do you know nothing about being a draconequus?”

“Nope.”

“Let’s start from the beginning,” said Turmoil, rubbing his temples with his fingers. “Who’s your master?”

“Disharmony.”

“OH SHIT!” he exclaimed as he pulled a huge black axe from his back. “Stay away from me, you bastard!”

Havoc grabbed Diane and placed her behind him. “Relax, dude! I just came here because I felt chaos energy and got curious! I don’t want to harm you or anything!”

Turmoil growled, pondering on Havoc’s words. “D̢̞̘̬̩̝̻̻͕̩̼̦̋̎̌̾̏́̓̏ͧ̒̽̍̇͊̀̆ͫ͞ǐ̶̡̖̰͙̙̘̬̳̬̪̗̞ͩ͆ͬͨͨ̍͂̓̈́͌͂͌ͩ̑̽̔ͤ̚̕̕͞s̨̡̖̤̳͍͍͍͙̳̣̞̮̰̭̣͑̂͒ͭ̎ͪͪͦ̀͜ẖ̴̡̪̱͇́ͧͥͥͣ͘͟a̷̢̯̬͖͇͕̩̗̗ͨͯ̋̒̊̒͒̋̓ͫͥ͗̉͗ͣ̀̌ͩ̀̚͜r̟̬̤̙̞͔̱͙͈͖̥̳̤͒̎ͪ̄̀̕͡m̴̞̹̼̤̝͇͓̫̻ͣ̆ͫͭ̏ͤͧ́͜͞ͅo͌ͨͨ̋͊ͨ͐̄̈ͨ̓҉̯̦͍͞n̅̑͑̾ͩͦ͂͆͛́҉͏̛̝̳͓̩͖̲̲y̦͚̳͙͖̦̞͋̎͑̐ͪ̄͊ͭ̏́̄̄̉͛ͬ̄ͬ͢! I know you can hear me. Dissonance is dead, there’s nothing you can gain by killing me now.”

Havoc’s body moved on his own, as if he was a puppet being manipulated by a puppeteer, as I assumed direct control. “My̛ t̢rue ͟n҉ame is ̧n̸ot͢ for̡ ͟òn̵e̛ ͠li͞k̨e͜ ͢y̛òu̶ ́tó ҉u͞se,̀” Havoc said with my voice. “I̶ ̡h͝a̡ve̡ ̕no̵t̸hing ̡t͟o ͟do҉ ̷w͢i͝th̸ ̨th͢i͢s̨,͏ ͝b́ut ̡I͘ will p͏un͡ish́ ͝you͝ i͠f̵ ̧you҉ bot̸he͞r me ag̶ai͡n҉.͡”

Turmoil nodded as I released Havoc, who staggered as he recovered the control of his body.

“What was that?” asked Diane, worried.

“That was Disharmony controlling your friend. She can control any draconequus minor of her creation.”

“Well, that was a really disturbing experience,” Havoc said. “At least now you won’t try to kill us, right?”

“Meh, I guess I won’t.”

“That’s great, because I have a lot of questions for you,” said Havoc, as he pulled a checklist from his back. “First: why are you locked down here?”

((Author’s note: I actually researched for this.))

“I’ll just start from the beginning,” replied Turmoil, sitting on the floor. “It was the year of our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ, 1000. I was a kentarchos in the army of Basil the Porphyrogenitus. You know, the Byzantine Empire?” he added when he noticed Havoc’s blank stare. “We were going to conquest Bulgaria, so I was marching with my troops under the command of the general Nikephoros Xiphias. Alas, Dissonance found me before we met the Bulgarians. He appeared one night in my tent, under the guise of a red-skinned man, and offered me power beyond imagination if I served him. I refused, thinking that I was being tempted by Satan himself, but then he showed me my future. If I didn’t accept his offer, I would be killed by an arrow in my first fight against the Bulgarians. Then, he promised me that he only wanted my services, not my soul, and that I would be free when I finished serving him. I should have refused a second time, and die in the battlefield as I was destined to, but I accepted his offer.”

Turmoil stopped talking and snapped his fingers, the wall behind him turning into a mosaic that changed on its own.

“I know you people from the future have these televisions that let you see things, but I have never been able to make one with magic,” he commented before continuing with his story while the mosaic showed what he told. “Dissonance grabbed me and twisted my shape into this, and in the blink of an eye we were in this strange land beyond the domain of God, where gods live among mortals and horses live like men. He taught me how to use my powers and gave me a mission. Dissonance had sided with more draconequi against Disharmony a long time ago, and she was trying to take revenge on them. My master knew that he was the next one on her list, so he decided to make an alliance with Nightmare Moon, who by then was gathering forces in secret to defeat Celestia and bring eternal night upon Equis. Their deal was that he would help her overthrow Celestia, and she would use the Elements of Harmony against Disharmony in return. However, Celestia would have felt Dissonance if he entered Equis, and she would never fight against both at once, so he sent me instead. I am more similar to a bear tainted by chaos magic than to a draconequus, so I would fight for Nightmare Moon like many other monsters that joined her side, waiting until Celestia decided to join the fight. Then Dissonance would use my body as a catalyst to enter this world and defeat Celestia. This would kill me and send me back to Earth, where I would wake up after a Bulgarian curse made me sleep for a month. That may sound weird to you, but a thousand years ago we believed in those things.

Unfortunately, things went awry. Disharmony discovered what Dissonance was trying to do, so she decided to attack him directly before he could use the Elements of Harmony against her. When he felt Disharmony’s power gather against him, he took over me and used me to tell Nightmare Moon that he needed the Elements as soon as possible. Nightmare Moon decided that attacking Celestia to take the Elements when Disharmony could join the fight was too risky, so she told my master that their alliance was over. Dissonance abandoned my body to gather his own powers to fight Disharmony, leaving me surrounded by our former allies. Nightmare Moon trapped me with magic and stated that she would use me to study draconequus magic after she dealt with her sister, so she built this containment area so I couldn’t escape.

Fights between real draconequi like them are very different to a normal fight, especially when you take into account that the place they live in, that place between universes, doesn’t even exist physically. I think they fought for two weeks before Disharmony finally killed Dissonance, and something happened to me when my master died. I gained powers that I shouldn’t have, like watching the other universes and eternal youth. However, Nightmare Moon was defeated and everypony forgot about me. My mind can leave this place thanks to the powers I got when Dissonance died, but I can’t leave physically or interact with almost anything. That’s why you could feel my chaos energy, I have been using it as a signal since Nightmare Moon returned and the Elements purified her. I was hoping that she would detect it and remember that she had forgotten me down here. But now that you have come with this pony, I can be free at last!”

“Who is Jesus Christ?” asked Diane.

“It’s a long story,” explained Havoc. “Turmoil and me haven’t always been draconequi minor. We were born humans on a planet called Earth, and lived there until we were turned into this and sent here by our masters.”

“Did you really have to tell her?” asked Turmoil, raising an eyebrow.

“Why not?”

“AHHHHHHHHHHH! ALIENS!” she screamed as she galloped away.

“No, wait!” exclaimed Turmoil. “We can’t leave without your help!”

Diane stopped a few steps into the magic-blocking corridor. “Huh?”

“Havoc, you became really weak when you crossed the corridor, right?” asked Turmoil.

“Right.”

“So weak that, if it weren’t for Diane, you couldn’t have reached this room?”

“Yes, I became so weak that I couldn’t move.”

“That’s how I was kept here for so many years. It’s physically impossible for us to leave on our own. It would be easier for a waterfall to go upwards than for us to walk to the other side.”

“And you would stay here alone until somepony else came to help?” she asked.

“Yes, if anypony will come at all. It took one thousand years for you to come, after all.”

“I can’t let that happen!” she exclaimed. “Nopony should stay all alone without friends or parties for so long! It makes ponies talk to sacks of flour and rocks!”

She trotted back to the room, to Havoc and Turmoil’s relief.

“What if we get out and then we continue talking?” suggested Turmoil. “I really really really want to get out.”

“Hm... I don’t know if letting you leave is a good idea. You could have lied to us and be some sort of super evil monster,” said Havoc. “Maybe if you proved that you are a nice guy...”

“I can’t believe you are blackmailing me,” Turmoil stated, frowning. “Alright, I will do something for you. I will... Hm... Ha! I will tell you your name!”

“What?”

“Disharmony made you forget your name. Dissonance did the same to me, but when he died I remembered my name. It’s Alexios, by the way. I think I can discover your name.”

“And how will I know that it’s my real name and not something you just made up?”

“You will, trust me.”

“Do it, Havoc!” said Diane. “Now I want to know your alien name!”

“Well, alright.”

Turmoil put his huge claws on each side of Havoc’s head, and they beamed with green magic. This lasted ten seconds, after which Turmoil’s hand stopped glowing.

“I have a name. Havoc, your real name is...”

And here is where I would make the chapter end. Or maybe I would make it so Havoc knows but you humans don’t until the end of the story or something like that. But that unlucky minor has already made me look like an evil goddess of vengeance and death, so I won’t do any of that.

“Your real name is Martin,” Turmoil said, and Havoc passed out.

Author's Notes:

It took me 500 seconds to beat that puzzle. I am so bad at solving those... If any of you decides to solve it feel free to share your score.

FUCK, I wrote Marcus as Havoc's real name instead of Martin. I have fixed it now, but I'll say it again in the next chapter for all the people who read it before I noticed the mistake.