Scootaloo zipped through the streets of Ponyville on her scooter, wagon in tow. The wagon’s cargo was covered by a piece of canvas, both to keep it secret from any onlookers and to keep it from bouncing out as the pegasus filly zipped over the town’s unpaved roads.

Getting a ball from the local bowling alley had been much easier than anticipated. Obviously, purchasing one was well beyond her budget of zero bits, so Scootaloo had entered the building intending to use adorability to get the owner to loan her one for a “science project.” This plan was initially unsuccessful, as it turned out she wasn’t the first schoolfilly to try to pull that one on the alley’s owner. Mr. Kingpin kept pressing her for specific information about her alleged “project,” and Scootaloo discovered to her dismay that improvising an internally consistent cover story was a lot harder than movies made it out to be, especially since he still remembered the property damage the young pegasus had caused the last time she’d gone bowling.

Luckily, an unexpected champion swept in to deflect the uncomfortably inquisitive questions away from her. This champion came in the form of a tan earth pony stallion with a long mane, a goatee, and a weird-looking leaf that was sort of shaped like one of Spike’s claws for a cutie mark. He was drinking something that looked kind of like milk, but it smelled a little bit like the brownish liquid in the barrels on Sweet Apple Acres that the crusaders were never, ever, ever supposed to drink. He apparently didn’t get very much sleep, because his eyes were bloodshot and he sounded really tired when he talked, but he had a friendly smile and didn’t ask too many questions. It turned out that he’d recently dropped his ball on a concrete floor by accident, and he’d had to buy a new one. Figuring that the ball wouldn’t go to waste if it was used for educational purposes, he gave Scootaloo his cracked ball and sent her on her way with a warning to avoid making eye contact with a creepy-looking stallion wearing a hairnet.

With her mission successfully accomplished, the plucky pegasus filly was on her way back to the clubhouse to meet up with the other Cutie Mark Crusaders. However, as she passed by the Carousel Boutique, she was distracted by a bizarre sight in the corner of her eye. Rarity had exited her shop, followed closely by a shiny, pony-shaped object that Scootaloo couldn’t easily identify. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she slowed her scooter to a halt, and, after making sure that her wagon’s precious cargo was hidden behind a bush, moved closer for some eavesdropping. The first thing she noticed was that the shiny pony had apparently dyed her tail to look like Rainbow Dash’s—an idea to save for later, perhaps. However, what really boggled Scootaloo’s mind was the conversation itself.

“Well, darling,” Rarity was saying, “we do need to make sure that it doesn’t need any further adjustments. After all, I won’t be over the mountains with you.”

The shiny pony responded with a very familiar rasp: “Oh, right. I guess I’d better give it a flight test, then.”

All the evidence pointed to the pony being Rainbow Dash, but Scootaloo wasn’t certain that she wanted to believe it. It was just so... bizarre. Her hero was completely covered in a skintight silver fabric from head to hoof, with openings for her muzzle, wings, tail, and presumably her eyes, though the last of these were obscured by a pair of flight goggles. The filly had never wondered what Rainbow Dash would look like if she ever lost all the hair in her mane, but now, she wouldn’t have to. The fabric itself, meanwhile, looked rather thick, like the wetsuits that ponies used while scuba diving.

Rainbow Dash took to the skies and made several passes around the Carousel Boutique, easily slipping through the clouds in the area as if they were nonexistent, and leaving none of them disturbed in her wake. After a minute or so, she landed again, with her usual confident smirk on her face. “Heh, I can see why Fluttershy wanted me to wear this. I mean, my personal fog suit’s pretty nice, but with this, it’s like there’s no resistance at all! Heck, it almost makes up for the fact that I look totally ridiculous.”

Rarity nodded her head sympathetically. “Oh, I agree, it’s absolutely hideous. However, the first rule of design is that form always follows function, and in this case, the function of your fog suit gave me almost no leeway in regards to the form. In fact, I probably should have covered up your tail as well.”

“No way,” Rainbow Dash replied. “It’s bad enough that I look like a reject from a pulp science fiction novel, but with my cutie mark covered, I need something that lets my team know it’s me under here.” She sighed. “Does it really need to be all shiny?”

“Fluttershy insisted on it. She said it would maximize your visibility in the fog.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Sort of.” The pegasus let out a long breath. “Alright, I’m heading to my house for now. You’ll be helping out with the firewood, right?”

“Naturally,” Rarity replied as she brushed a hoof through her mane. “I intend to do whatever I can to clear that nasty fog away before anypony gets hurt. Why, it’s basic equine decency.”

“Cool. See you in an hour, then.” Rainbow Dash took off again, this time in the general direction of her home.

Scootaloo was still too stunned to react as Rarity returned to her boutique; she’d never seen Rainbow Dash wearing anything like that before. It was like a Wonderbolts outfit with all of the “cool” removed and exchanged for “weird.” What made it even stranger was the fact that Rarity had willingly made something that she had freely admitted was ugly, and she didn’t seem put off by this in the slightest. Scootaloo soon shook off her torpor, however. She had to get back to the clubhouse.

When Fluttershy regained consciousness, she was inside the cabin, and she somehow managed to regain most of her composure as well. Indeed, it turned out that Douglas Fir was every bit as civic-minded as the Mayor had implied, and with the politico’s assistance, she easily convinced the donkey to help out. The problem, though, was that his ability to help turned out to be more restricted than they had expected.

The donkey stood stock-still, hardly moving a muscle as he slowly and deliberately explained himself. “I’d be happy to help you out, of course, but if you’re going to need that many bonfires there simply might not be very much I can do. You see, Ms. Fluttershy, all of my firewood for sale at the moment has been chopped for use in fireplaces and wood stoves. You’re going to need a lot of large branches and trunks for what you’re planning.”

The pegasus had to fight the urge to run out of the cabin screaming like a madmare in response to the latest unwanted surprise. “Oh, um, well, I guess that could be a problem, but can’t you cut down a few more trees?” There did seem to be an awful lot of them in the area.

“Sure,” Mr. Fir replied. “But I won’t be able to get the amount you need before sundown.”

“Oh, um, but we’re gathering a lot of volunteers, though.”

“And do these volunteers have experience using crosscut saws? Because at the speed you’ll need to get my trees cut, it could be extremely dangerous.”

Personal injury claims, of course, were the last thing that Fluttershy wanted to deal with at the moment. The plan had failed, and she was on the brink of complete and total ruin. It was only a matter of time before her name would be uttered in the same breath as Credit Mobilier or Boss Twill.

“Um, Fluttershy? Are you alright, dear?” the Mayor asked with some concern in her voice.

This snapped Fluttershy out of her distraught musings about her place in Equestrian history. “What?! No! Er, I mean, yes. Of course I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, you’ve been hyperventilating for nearly a minute now.”

“Oh... uh, right. I, um, need to think about what to do next. Do you mind if I take a short walk to, um, clear my head?”

“I don’t see why not,” Douglas answered. “Just take care that you don’t get lost.”

“Um, right.”

Douglas Fir’s cabin was still in view (but well out of earshot) when Fluttershy began making her plans. “Okay, if I start hoofing it right now, I can probably get through Foggy Bottom Bog by sunset. With any luck, before anypony figures out that I’m the worst pony ever, I’ll have found a hiding place somewhere in the Badlands. I’m sure they won’t think to look there; after all, they must be called Badlands for a reason, right? Oh, but what if that’s the first place they look because I’m a bad pony?! I’d better keep going south... but how far? Does Zebrabwe have an extradition treaty with Equestria?”

Fluttershy’s panicked speculation was interrupted by a sudden burst of chirping high over her head. A half-dozen songbirds fluttered down to her eye level, filled with concerned tweeting over the animal caretaker’s panicky monologue. The pegasus silently rebuked herself; how could she be so thoughtless as to leave without making arrangements for her friends? She apologized to her avian companions, “Oh, I’m sorry if I upset you. It’s just that I’ve managed to get myself into a lot of trouble, and I don’t think that anypony will be able to help me out of it now.”

The birds, however, begged to differ, if their rapid cheeps and trills were any indication.

Fluttershy’s eyes widened as their suggestions sunk in. “Of course... why didn’t I think of that before? And I know just who to ask, too. Um, would you mind delivering a message for me?”

Upon receiving some affirmative chirps, the pegasus sighed in relief. “Thank you.”

“Okay, so how do I make a sheepshank again?”

Apple Bloom groaned and set down the section of net that she’d been working on all afternoon. “Sweetie Belle, sheepshanks are just used ta shorten ropes, not connect them.” The earth pony was starting to wish that she hadn’t insisted that her friend help out instead of merely supervising. “And the knot you’re s’posed ta be usin’ there is called a cow hitch. See?” Apple Bloom deftly wrapped one section of rope around another and pulled it tight. “Just follow the instructions in that knot-tyin’ pamphlet I gave you.”

“But this is a net, not a cow.”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “I know that, Sweetie Belle, but that’s just what it’s called.”

Sweetie Belle stared uncomprehendingly at her friend. “Why’s that?” she finally asked.

“Cuz we use them to tie up nervous cattle so they don’t start stampedin’ if they get spooked.”

“Okay, but I still don’t see what all that brown gunk is for. It’s not even in Scootaloo’s initial plan.”

Apple Bloom looked where her unicorn friend was pointing and saw a vat full of a thick, viscous substance. “That brown gunk is pine tar, and I’m gonna soak the rope net in it to make it extra sticky so the human can’t escape.”

“Oh! Backup plan! You can mold the leftover tar into a pony, and then when the mean human tries to punch or kick it, it’ll just get stuck.”

“Sweetie Belle, that’s about the most hairbrained idea I ever heard of. Now c’mon. This net ain’t gonna knot itself.” Apple Bloom sat down again and once again picked up the net, doing her best to ignore her friend’s frustrated grumbles.

It was at this point that the door to the clubhouse swung open. “Guys! You’ll never believe what happened!”

“You actually convinced somepony to give you a bowling ball?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Uh, well, yes, I did, but that’s not what I was going to say. Rainbow Dash is dressed up like a weird fish-thing, only without fins, and... and what’s that smell?” Scootaloo glanced over to the corner where the vat of pine tar sat. “Sweetie Belle, I thought you said you wouldn’t try to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches anymore!”

The unicorn filly didn’t seem amused. “That’s not funny, Scootaloo.”

“I wasn’t laughing, Sweetie Belle.”

Apple Bloom, who wasn’t particularly eager to listen to a shouting match at the moment, jumped into the conversation. “I brought that stuff in. I’ll explain it later. But what was that about Rainbow Dash and a fish?”

“Rarity made her a suit that’s all shiny like a fish. Apparently, it’s supposed to help her fly through the fog.”

“Why would she want to do that?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I’m not sure, but... I think she’s going to be giving orders to other ponies about fires, or something like that. And, well, between that, and stuff I’ve overheard from other pegasi, I think... I think they’re trying to get rid of the fog!”

Apple Bloom scratched her head before responding, “Oh, well, that’s good, right? It oughta make the humans easier ta see.”

“But the humans are using the fog as cover for the invasion. Without it, they won’t even try at all, and we’ll never get the chance to catch one in our trap!”

Apple Bloom’s eyes widened in panic. “Sweet Celestia, you’re right! If we don’t do something, we won’t get our cutie marks!”

Scootaloo nodded, glad that her friend had realized the seriousness of the problem. “Exactly! Fortunately, I came up with another brilliant plan on the way over—”

“What is wrong with you two?!” Sweetie Belle shouted.

Apple Bloom looked confused. “We’re just tryin’ ta get our cutie marks, like usual.”

“Apple Bloom, our cutie marks aren’t worth risking the safety of everypony else in Equestria.”

“Are you sure?” Scootaloo asked. “I’m pretty certain we’ve put all of Equestria at risk before. Multiple times, in fact.”

“Well, maybe,” Sweetie Belle replied, “but we’ve never done it on purpose. Besides, if the humans are invading, they’ll probably send more than one wave, so we’ll need to have our trap ready anyway.”

Apple Bloom sighed. “She’s got a point, Scoots.”

“Aww.... but my new plan was awesome. It was gonna have huge explosions and everything.”

“One awesome plan at a time, Scootaloo,” Sweetie Belle said as she picked up the rope net again.

Three seconds later, Apple Bloom shouted, “No, Sweetie Belle, that’s a granny knot!”